


Let's Hurt Tonight

by Lynnth2014



Category: The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gore, Growth, Healing, M/M, Multi, Recovery, Smutt, extreme fluff, multi-chaptered, ongoing, pregnancies, rebuilding relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2020-03-07 00:24:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 288,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18861979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynnth2014/pseuds/Lynnth2014
Summary: Three years have passed since the prison fell, since Rick banished Carol, since Rick's group found each other and found their home in Alexandria. With Carol alone in the city, tracking a certain hospital, she stumbles into a sequences of choices that could bring her back home to a past she had tried to let go of.





	1. Three Years, Six Months Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder for anyone who isn't familiar with my stores; any large portion of text that is italic is a flashback.

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._ **

––

Carol lurked through the streets of the city, keeping her knife close and her rifle closer. She had seen the hospital here many times in the past few months but never thought it was sane to get closer or try to make contact. She wanted to just leave them be and find her own way, but they were running this city. They made it impossible to find anything. They had picked it clean, the bones spotless and pearly, and she needed medicine. Badly. For those at home, she needed meds. She had been to every pharmacy she could find, but those hospital hounds had beaten her to it. She was getting desperate. Beyond desperate. If her fever rose any further...

She scouted out the entrance with the scope of her rifle, seeing a few men walking the yard to ensure the walkers weren't pushing through their fence. She noticed there were some weak spots she could exploit in case of emergency, but without tampering, they would hold well. She would have to pick the exact right moment to use that. Or the walkers would be on her. She would have to play it carefully, but with how those men seemed to avoid that area, they wouldn't see it coming. She could lure them there, and they wouldn't know it was a trap.

She lowered the rifle and narrowed her eyes, seeing movement in the distance. It was a ways before the hospital itself, but it was there as plain as the walkers. She couldn't be sure of what this person was trying to do, but they didn't seem to be with these men in the hospital. She wasn't sure if the enemy of her enemy was her friend, but it couldn't hurt to have someone else beside her going into this. An extra gun, a temporary ally, and Carol would need it to help her. If her illness got the better of her while she was away, it would be...

She lifted the scope to her eye and memorized the last movement she had for this stranger then headed out. She shouldered the rifle and hurried out of the building. He was a few miles from the hopsital, so it would be a good twenty to thirty minutes to close the space if he didn't move. She had to avoid the walkers, the people on guard, and this person's barrel. If she was lucky enough to do all of that and not have him kill her on sight, she might just be lucky enough to pull his off without a single hitch. Or no major hitches, anyway.

She padded down the stairs and pushed open the first exit door to the left, peering out at the street. She waited for the pair of walkers to shuffle by before dashing across the street and towards where that person was last seen by her. She wasted no time, rushing through alleyways and skirting around large groups of walkers who were feasting on whatever scraps they could find. She moved with deft determination, keeping her steps as padded as possible and sticking to familiar paths. She had been in this city for a few days now, and she knew it well before then, so this wasn't too difficult. If you take out the walkers, the clock and the people trying to kill or abuse anything to move, it was a cakewalk. Maybe throw in some Moltivo cocktails, and it would be a real party.

She ducked down behind some debris and searched for movement, trying to find the person who was lurking around this area. She noticed a path in the mess the world had made in the streets from where he or she had been coming and going. They weren't smart enough to cover their tracks, but that didn't mean they weren't smart enough to help her get in and out of that hospital. They both didn't have to make it out of there. It might be an awful thought, but with these stakes, she didn't care. She couldn't care. There was too much on the line, so she had to not care.

She spotted a shadow on the upper floor of the building and caught a glimpse of the person inside. The shadow did not belong to a man or a woman, but to a boy. Perhaps a young man, but he couldn't be much older than Beth was. He was a kid running around this city, trying to either break into the hospital or join them. Joining them would be a mistake. The vibe those men emitted were too similar to Ed, to the men he used to bring around, and it would have triggered her were she who she used to be. But she wasn't that person, and they had no power over her. They would die in their own time, and they weren't important. They were weak nothings, and this boy couldn't be caught up with them. Or he shouldn't. He shouldn't be involved in this at all, and she had to make him see that. She had to make him see that world wasn't for him. It wasn't for anyone who wanted to survive. It was a coward's world, and it would crumble.

She heard the door open, the hinges creaking, and the boy stepped out. Well, he was a young man, no older than Beth, and he was wounded. He had bruises on his faces, cuts and a busted lip. He wasn't in good condition, certainly no where near close enough to approach those people. He didn't look the part for the people they would accept. Or worse—he did, and they would use him for demeaning tasks. This world was no place for children, but they would some day make it one again.

"Hey!"

Carol looked up as the boy approached with a gun in his hand, there was a slight shake to that hand, but he held himself confidently. He would do what he had to. She wasn't sure what that was, but she hoped to not be it. "Easy."

"Why are you following me?" His eyes narrowed as his fingers tightened their grip on the gun.

"I saw you surveying that hospital. Why?"

"Why the hell do you want to know?"

"Because I might need into that hospital, and it's important if you tell me why."

There was a low growl to the left of them, Carol shot up and pulled the knife from her belt, but Noah reacted instantly as it drew closer, firing off a single round that tore itself through the eye of the walker. Immediately he cursed at his reflex, and Carol could have kicked him herself. In the middle of the city, with all these walker around and those men were outside, likely patrolling.

"I got to go." He fell backwards. "I gotta go. They're bound to have heard that shot, and they're gonna find me. I gotta go."

"Who?" Carol approached him.

"The people at the hospital. They're after me. I—I managed to escape, but I...left a friend behind in the process." He lowered his eyes in shame and scoffed. "No, I didn't manage anything. She—she got me out. She saved me, and I left her. I just left her."

"I know how that feels—to be forced to leave someone behind. It's a hard choice in this world. It isn't always you or them. It can also be you or you both. That's the choice you had. She'll understand."

"How can she ever understand? I left her behind, and I can't just...go back and break her out."

"You can." Carol met his eyes. "They're bound to be coming, so is there a place nearby we can lie low?"

"Y—yeah, it's in the basement of that building. Let's go."

They didn't waste time crossing the street, the boy showed her inside and down to the basement. It was a small shelter, a pile of blankets in the corner of the room to make a bed, and a few canned items. The boy lit some candles to fill the room with light, Carol didn't sit down, and he faced her. They listened. The basement blocked out most of the nose, but not so much that they didn't hear the low hum of a car. The slamming of two doors, and a few guns were fired. Likely at walkers, or perhaps to bring walkers down on this area to keep anyone who might get by them held down. Or their next meal.

They waited, the car began to hum to life, and whoever was there drove off. Carol and Noah exhaled at the same time, he attempted to share a smile with her, but she didn't meet it. He cleared his throat and sat down on the milk crate, rubbing his legs and trying size her up. He didn't make it very far before she began to speak again.

"Were you ever inside that hospital?" Carol adjusted her gun on her shoulder. "Do you know the layout well?"

"Yeah, I was there for a few years. I know it. For the most part. It's how we got out." Almost we got out.

"Do they have actual medical supplies? Or is it just...a home?"

He shook his head. "It's no home. It's...a hell, but yes, they do have medicine."

"Good." She exhaled with relief. "Good."

"Why? Do you need something?"

"Not me. I...have a friend who's sick. She needs medicine. Antibiotics. She's young. Very young, so this mere cold could kill her." She held back emotion with great difficulty. It was hard to mention death so easily when it was about someone you love.

"I've worked with the doctors. I know what might help if you explain the symptoms to me."

"I know what she needs. I just need a way inside that doesn't get me blown to bits."

He nodded. "Okay, well, then do you have a plan?"

"I can, but you need to describe the layout of the hospital for me. I need details. I need numbers."

"Then you might want to sit." He gestured to the crate beside him, and she moved towards it. "And my name's Noah, by the way."

She found his hand extended out towards hers, and she smiled softly at the gesture, accepting it. "Carol."

"Well, let's...break into a hospital then, Carol." He smiled widely. He could save her. He could get Beth back, and they could go home together. He should show her the gardens and his brothers, let her have a real meal with no charge. He could repay her.

– – –

It was midday when Carol dragged Noah towards the gates of Grady, making a show of it in case they were watching, and if they were smart, they were. She shoved him to the ground but carefully so, ensuring bundles of newspapers and garbage broke his fall, kicking him around when he tried to escape, and she stopped the gate. She looked around at the two men standing guard, their rifles pointed at her, and she merely held up a hand in a gesture of peace.

The men kept their rifles pointed on them, no one made any moves, and it was eerily quiet. Carol glanced at Noah, who cut a look to her in return, and they were about to bust out plan B when the front doors opened. Noah saw Dawn and her lackeys spill out, armed and eyeing. He didn't bother to make any moves, but he did ask Carol to make a promise to him. Now that he was here, he wasn't positive how well odds would favor him, so he needed her word. For Beth's sake.

"If I don't make it out of here," Noah said under his breathe, "I need you to get someone out for me."

"You'll make it out."

"Carol, please, just get my friend out. Her name is Beth. She has blonde hair, and she's about the same height as me. I promised her we'd get out. Don't make me break that promise."

"Beth?" Carol was about to ask probably a million questions that bubbled up on her tongue, but she had to swallow them as the officers neared. She shoved Noah to his knees as they closed the space entirely, and she lifted her chin, eyes guarded.

"Who are you?" The woman who stood confident and tall barked, letting her men hold them at gunpoint, eyes on Noah's defeated posture on the ground. "And why are you here?"

"I need shelter. I've been looking this place over for a few weeks now, and I want to be apart of this group. I noticed this rat escaped, so I thought I'd bring him back." Her lips curled into a dark smile. "As an ice breaker."

She chuckled once. "You want to be one of us? You think it's that easy?"

"I work hard. I carry my own load. I like space. I won't get in anyone's way, and I'm a hell of a shot." She bore her eyes into Dawn's. "If you want the best, I'm it."

The woman inhaled and ran her eyes over the older woman, seeing nothing but hardened will and unbruised skin. She hummed softly then nodded her head, the men grabbed Noah up and dragged him inside, and the woman guided Carol into the building. Carol had to let them rough handle Noah and not show that it bothered her. She had a bigger goal. They both did. They knew it wouldn't be easy. They would grin and bear it, but once they were done, Carol wasn't going to grin. She wasn't going to bear it. She'd kill them if she had to, if they hurt him or Beth. If they intervened with her mission. She wouldn't hesitate.

Dawn turned the tour and what would be expected of Carol to Shepard and went to handle Noah, and Carol kept her eyes peeled for any medicine. She saw other patiences wandering the halls or hovering outside their rooms. Some of them looked to be in good condition, but the others reminded her too much of herself. Victims, abused by the world and by circumstance, and worse—by men. She almost prayed that Noah's Beth and her Beth weren't the same girl. She didn't know what these men would do to her. She was beautiful, young, and she was inexperienced with men like these. She could fight, but that would make it so much worse. It would make everything so much worse.

Shepard scratched the side of her nose and explained how the system worked, looking over the faces of the people around her, and Carol could see they were happy to see this woman. They weren't afraid. They weren't cowering away. They smiled and nodded their heads at her. They were friendly. She was good to them, and they trusted her. It was...nice to see, how kindness can grow with such hostility. Hmm, funny, that's exactly how Sophia thrived. A flower in the dark. She was the loveliest thing Carol had ever seen. If only she could have bloomed.

"We'll have to clean out a room for you, but that'll take some time." Shepard cut a look to her. "Likely by the end of the day, we'll have a room ready for you. Until then I'll get your work assignment in order. What else can do you? Do you have any medical skills? What was your career before all of this?"

"I have minimal nursing abilities," Carol replied. "I'm better suited on guard rotation. I was a stay at home mom before all of this. I know how to keep the peace."

"Okay." Shepard nodded and ran her eyes over her. "Your kids didn't make it?"

"I had a kid," Carol replied. "A daughter, and no."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. We've all been through losses like that." She set a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "You're home now. Once you get into the flow of how things operate, you'll see that."

"I'm sure I will."

She removed her hand. "You'll need to speak with Gorman about guard rotation. I'll show you where he is."

They started down the hall, Carol ran her eyes over the layout of the building, and she spotted where medicine might be held. It was locked, but there were ways around a lock. She had learned a thing or two from her family. The people they picked up learned a lot of skills—pick-pocketing, lock picking, ect. It sounded like a video game, but it did work. She just needed a few supplies, but she could manage. She only had to figure out how traveled this area was and when the best time to return would be. It shouldn't be too hard. If she could convince Gorman to let her be on rotation. She had a feeling from the way Shepard said his name he wasn't a friendly man.

Shepard paused in taking Carol to speak with Gorman to speak with another resident, Carol leaned against the wall across from the room and studied the area, and she saw movement from the room. Someone passed Shepard to leave, and she glanced at them, avoiding eye contact at the woman in scrubs, and Shepard returned to their task.

"After we speak to him, I'll let you shower and change. We'll wash your clothes, but we'll give you something to wear. Likely scrubs. Or a uniform, depending on how we sort you."

"All right."

"Depending on your placement, you'll likely report to me or Bello, just let us know if you need anything. If you have any problems, take them up with Dawn."

"I won't have any problems."

A soft, disbelieving chuckle. "Sure."

"And even if I do, I'm sure I can resolve them myself," Carol added at the woman's tone, and this seemed to catch her attention, because she stopped and made eye contact with her. "What?"

"We don't tolerate justice warriors around here. You do your work, keep your nose clean, and your time here will be easy. If you make trouble, we will shut it down, and you'll be out on your ass. If not worse."

Carol arched a brow. "I've lived through worse."

"Nobody should be able to say that." She inhaled. "Let's get your room assignment settled."

They continued onward, Shepard radioed ahead to let Dawn know she would be by with the newcomer shortly, and she guided Carol to the showers. She took her size and got an outfit from a young man who took over Noah's position, and advised Carol where to leave her old clothes. She left her to her allowed ten minute shower and spoke with a doctor about the recover of their older patients. She was worried about his health and stability. He reminded her of an old friend, and she didn't want to thrown him away like the others. There was still a chance. There had to be.

Carol left her clothes behind and showered, almost losing herself in the warm water, and she washed the dirt and blood off her body, watching it swirl down the drain with the soap bubbles. She inhaled and closed her eyes, letting the water run over her scalp and down her shoulders. She closed her eyes and played the layout of the building over in her mind.

The front doors were locked with a key only two people had access to, the hallway to that door was constantly patrolled by two uniforms, and the patients who were a higher risk were on the floor, so there were half hourly patrols in that hall to see if they were walkers or still alive. Beyond that were the rooms of the uniforms and this Dawn, the next floor seemed to belong to the workers who owed a debt. The rest was just the cafeteria, the roof and empty rooms according to Shepard. It wasn't a home. It was an endless cycle of debt, like a credit card. It lead nowhere good, and the price to be paid was much higher than you could ever have guessed.

The medicine had to be on the same floor as the high risk patients, but she hadn't seen much of that floor. She had to get another look, to see if it was locked up or simply behind a glass cabinet door with a guard. She didn't have time to sit around and be a guest here. She had a goal, and the lock was ticking. It wouldn't slow, and it would never stop, so she had to get to that floor and soon.

She dried off and changed into the scrubs, glancing at the door briefly before pulling at the rough, blood soaked seam of her old pants. She pulled the X-acto knife out and tapped the cap back into locking on and slipped it into shoes they'd given her. She straightened as the door pulled open and Shepard nodded her out.

She took her to see Dawn to be interviewed for her main occupation here, leaving her at the door to speak with another uniform about any vacancies. She wanted this woman to take over some shifts, to keep an eye on...both the patients who stayed here and the uniforms who patrolled. She couldn't be the only one against them. Not when it'd gotten so bad last year.

The door opened, Carol turned to greet Dawn and instead found the jasper eyes of Beth Greene and gasped softly, inadvertently. Sapphire eyes drank in that pale and scarred face, seeing bruising along her neck and swelling at her jaw that made Carol want to pull that knife from her shoe and end the life of anyone who had anything to do with those markings.

"Beth," Dawn barked, "move. Let her inside."

"Y—yeah." She moved aside and lowered her eyes, moving back to straightening up the pile of notes the doctor had given Dawn. They were to determine if the patient would be worth the expense to save them. It was disgusting, but Dawn seemed to take no pleasure in it. Though did the devil enjoy his work after so many years of doing it?

"Carol, right?" Dawn was stepping off an exercise bike. "Come in. Close the door."

She shut it behind her and stood at the door. "So, my assignments?"

"I've got your room. It's by Beth's." She waved vaguely to the young woman organizing her things and wiped sweat from her neck. "I hear you want to guard. Why would you want to do that?"

"Because I'm good with a gun, and I don't shy away from numbers or danger."

A smirk crossed her lips, and she chuckled, lifting her head to meet Carol's eyes. "I do like that in our guards, but you're new. You'll be tested like the others. I don't know you. I don't trust you, but you did return Noah to me, so...maybe we can shorten the hoops."

Beth's hand twitched over a file at the mention of Noah and being returned, her eyes falling to the corner that been previously splattered with blood. It was her first duty that morning, and it had been his, hadn't it? His blood. His pain. And by Carol? What was going on?

"I don't care much if you trust me—I care about staying alive," Carol informed her, eyes steeled, shoulders back. "Your men look like children at Halloween. I know I can keep myself alive—them, too, if I have to. If I'm going to stay, I need to know children aren't running with scissors, which it seems they are."

Dawn ran her tongue over her teeth and grunted softly. "Show me what you got. Thirty minutes, meet me downstairs, and we'll consider your assignment." She tossed the sweaty towel at Beth. "Take this to the wash and show her to her room."

"Yeah." Beth held it by her fingertips and rolled her eyes once her back was to Dawn, opening the front door. "Come with me. It's not far."

Carol shut the door behind her, the pair walked in silent, and Beth dropped the towel into the trash, glancing around at the roaming patients and workers. She inhaled and glanced back at Carol once more before spotting the empty exam room and pulling her inside, shutting the door and hugging her tightly in one quick movement, knocking them both back, sneakers squeaking on the floor.

"You're alive." Beth nearly cried at the familiar warmth and pressure of Carol's hug, laughing quietly. "I was so worried about y'all."

"Beth..." Carol closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the long lost young woman in her arms. It as mostly of cleaner and flowery bleach from the laundry, but beyond that was her. The happy child who sang to upraise their spirits, to sooth Judith's bad dreams, to while away the dull hours of her watch. The child who slowly grew into a beautiful young woman who could clearly hold her own and survive, even when alone. "Hi."

"Hi." She pulled back to look at her face and cupped it with both hands, thumbs brushing over her cheekbones and the light wrinkles near her eyes, tears falling free. "This is real. You're real, and you're here."

"And you." Carol gingerly thumbed the edge of her finger across Beth's oldest appearing scar. "What happened to you?"

"It's a long story, but I'll explain everything." She snuffed, hands moving to Carol's shoulders. "But first—why did you bring Noah back? He got out. He should have stayed out."

"He wanted to come back for you. I didn't know it was you, but he owed you his life, and he wanted to give anything—perhaps even that life—to save you."

"Noah." She smiled sorrowfully and shook her head. "Then wait. Why are you here? If you didn't know I was here, why? You wouldn't just help a total stranger. I mean...not in this way."

"I need medicine. Someone's very sick, and if I don't get medicine, they will die. I can't let that happen."

"Oh, no. Who's sick? Maggie? Glenn?" Her hands tightened on Carol's shoulders, her lips parting as her breathing increased, and her eyes shined anew with tears. "Is it Mags? Please, just be honest with me."

"No, no, it's not them. It's someone else very important to me. I have to save her."

She swallowed and bobbed her head in agreement, inhaling to calm the emotions and questions brewing inside of her. "I can help. I know where they keep the medicine. Dawn has a key. I can get it, just let me know what you need."

"Here." Carol pulled the note from her pocket and handed it over to the young girl. "I need all of it, and a syringe. Possibly several."

"I'll get them, but you need to get Noah." Beth tucked the note into her pocket. "You can show Dawn how good you are, and she'll let you be a guard. You can find out where they have him, and we can all leave together. We'll have to be quick—for the sake of your sick and Noah. Dawn will make him regret trying to leave, and I won't let her continue to hurt him."

"Two days. We'll be out of here in two days. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, I can. Can you?"

"We just need an escape plan, but I have an idea about that. If Noah's hurt, this idea is all we have."

"Let me know tonight. No one comes by our rooms after dark, and we can make a plan." She looked back at the door. "We should go now. I don't want them to know we know each other. They might try and keep us apart."

"We'll be gone before anyone suspects anything," Carol vowed.

– – –

Beth skipped her scheduled lunchtime to tend to Dawn's office, Dawn was inside with Gorman, and Beth watched them interact. Dawn wasn't happy with him, but after the O'Donnell incident, she had no choice but to keep him close. Beth wanted to take all of them out, but she couldn't. She wasn't that person, even though it was her fault O'Donnell was dead. By accident, but still she played a part. It was only three months ago, but she'd moved on. She had to, especially now. She had to get that key. Dawn didn't leave them lying around, so she'd have to make up an excuse, perhaps play on Dawn's dislike of germs and how tightly she'd been holding onto them. She might count them afterward, but if Beth can provoke her in some way to have Dawn flustered and send her away, she'd have nothing to worry about. She could do it. She was a younger sister to two. She could do it. She had to.

As Beth drew closer, she could make out the conversation between the two, and she kept her head down, ears wide open.

"...care how "good" you think she is, no."

"I saw her shoot, and she's good. She even went out into the yard and took out the walkers to help Lennie repair the fence. She's better than good. She's been out in the world, and she survived it."

"Then why come here?" Gorman argued. "Why not stay out there and knit the walkers some sweaters?"

"It's damn near impossible to survive alone. She found that out the hard way. She lost her family, nearly her mind, but she came back. She found us. She's on the guard patrol."

"You're a dumb ass. She's gonna get someone killed."

"No, I believe that you and Bello last week. We lost four men, Gorman. We can't afford to lose men like that."

"We can't afford to—"

"Tanaka, Myers, Lamson, Jamison, O'Donnell," Dawn cut him off, eyes burning into his as she lifted her chin. "The list keeps going, and so must we. She stays. Deal with it."

He scoffed. "I'll deal with it, all right. She won't last the week."

"If you so much as try anything," Dawn warned.

"You said to deal with her," Gorman smirked, "so I will. On my terms." He stormed out, smacking the door with such force it shook and slammed against the wall.

"Asshole." Dawn tossed the keys down onto her desk and plopped down into her chair, cracking her neck and closing her eyes for a moment of peace to forget the mood Gorman always seemed to put her in. She inhaled and spread her fingers out over the smooth surface of the wood, opening her eyes to find Beth standing in her doorway. "What do you want?"

"I came to see how you were doing."

"A sweet lie, but still a lie." She leaned back in the chair and ran her eyes over the girl. "I won't tell you anything about Noah. He wasn't as fortunate as you."

She fisted her hands and glared, holding her tongue.

"You'll see him out and about in a month or so. He needs to be properly punished for what he did. I made sure his return was a taste of what's to come. I don't have time for him now, so I'll let him stew a bit, see what comes out."

"You're disgusting," Beth spat. "He's a human being. He isn't some marinating meat! He isn't a toy for you to play with. He deserved that freedom!"

"He still owes, and after this morning, he owes even more. I don't have time for your forlorn cries. Occupy someone else's space."

"You can't just get rid of me as easily as Noah. I'll be right here in your face every single day to remind you," Beth closed the space between them with each word, leaning over the desk to be in Dawn's personal space, eyes searing, "that people like you don't win. You'll get yours, and it won't be pretty."

"Is that a threat?" Dawn leaned forward towards the girl.

"Not from me," Beth promised, "but from the world. You think you know how it works, how to survive, but this hell isn't surviving, and it will crumble. You will crumble, and I won't be here to savor every second of it."

"You're right—you won't be here." She stood up to be towering over Beth, but Beth didn't flinch or back down. "Keep this up, and Edwards will be sewing up your jaw, not your cheek."

"Guess we'll see who ends up on a gurney next." She pushed off the desk and walked out of the office. Her goal was incomplete, but she did give Beth an idea of how to get that medicine.

Meanwhile Gorman was forced to show Carol the ropes, Carol could tell he didn't want her anywhere near this rotation, but she didn't give him a choice. She even made a point about their glaring blind spot above the left building. It wasn't likely someone would target them from that alley, but walkers did roam heavily through there. They should keep an eye on it, and it seemed to impress Bello and a few others who were on the roof to survey the area. Carol just smirked and felt his eyes narrow at her.

She turned and smiled sweetly at him, taking the rifle from Bello and following him to where she would be spending the next few hours. He wanted to keep an eye on her, and Carol felt it was more welcome and less...invested than the look Gorman had given her. She would have to keep an eye on that and speak with Beth. If worst came to worst, she could use this to her advantage. If other events had played out, it wasn't going to be a gentle exchange.

Bello put his hands on his hips, smiling warmly at Carol, and Carol returned it, turning to look at the overview of the city, and Bello spotted Gorman whispering to Jackson. He knew he shouldn't, but he faced the same direction and ignored it, instructing her on how to best wield the rifle, though she chuckled at the notion.

"What, you a big shot out there?"

"No, but I do know my way around a weapon."

"I'd hope so," Gorman said from behind her, and Carol didn't flinch at his breath on her neck. "If you get scared, I'm right over there."

"Thanks." Carol cut a look at him over her shoulder, the hue of her eyes almost black as she did, and there were no emotions there. "I'll be sure to remember exactly where you are."

He moistened his lips and flicked a brow, walking away to return to his post.

"Don't let him get under your skin." Bello crossed his arms and met her eyes. "He's just...a bully on the playground."

"That's not what I'd call him," Carol replied, not shy about the read she got off him. "How close is he to Dawn?"

"They go way back. Before...all of this." He sighed deeply, looking at the state of the city before him and somberly lowering his head. "Hard to remember a time before all of this."

"Then don't."

"Easier said then done." He smirked at her nevertheless. "Hell, I may have a thing or two to learn from you."

"You just might." She smirked back. "So...care to give me some back story here? I think Gorman and his gaggle are going to start spitting seeds at the neighboring roof, and I'd rather drown out their mocking."

He chuckled and rubbed his jaw. "Yeah, it's...been slow. They've earned that rest."

"No one really rests, but sure." She lifted a leg onto the ledge of the building and leaned over, checking out the perimeter through the scoop. They had a patched up fence to the north exit, likely where Noah made his escape. They could just bust through it with a truck. They just had to get keys. Hmm.

"I guess if you want the backstory," the man muttered beside her, "guess it all kinda started...after the emergency warnings..."

She glanced at him and lowered the rifle, recalling a stand where keys could be released to an officer. She didn't have enough standing, but it was likely Bello did. She might want to listen to this story, get a handle on who he was and exactly why he was going to taking that SUV out tomorrow night.

Across the roof, Gorman sat on the edge of the roof and looked over at Carol and Bello, lips pursed into a sneer, and Jackson tossed a rock onto the neighboring building, exhaling boredom. He spotted Gorman watching the others, and he chuckled, shaking his head and picking up another rock.

"You're really considerin' that?" Jackson smoothed his thumb over the surface of the rock. "Damn, son, you must be desperate."

He scoffed and glared at the man. "I wouldn't be if Dawn hadn't closed in on Beth."

"You're on fault, man. You shoulda just...played it cool and made your move in a less...obvious space." He puffed out a breath and took a peek at her once more. "I can kinda see it, but still."

"She's actually easy on the eyes," Gorman added. "And that ass... Damn, I'll take that first."

"Tssh." He snorted a laugh. "Good luck. Seems like Bello has her all caught up in golden tales."

"Well, if I show her a little kindness, she'll return the favor. They always do." He smirked darkly at the outline of the woman across the building. "I had a feeling today would be a good day."

"Wait till you get that ass then see how good a day it is."

"True that, brother." He stood up and turned to face the neighboring building. "I'll make the rounds now, check in on the brat and see how empty the second floor is."

"You know Dawn lurks there, especially since her little escapee was brought back."

"It's a good thing there's extra duck tape down there then." He winked at him and headed inside, saluting to Carol and Bello on his way. At least this way he didn't have to worry about condoms.

––

Carol was yanked into Beth's room by the woman and grabbed immediately by both arms and looked over. Carol assured her she was okay, but Beth wanted to be sure. Carol had no clue why, but at the tender fear and scrutiny in her eyes, she felt like she might as well have worn a target on her back.

"What's going on?" Carol guided Beth over to the bed and sat her down. "Did you hear something?"

"Yeah—from Edwards. He's a rat, but he told me...Gorman's targettin' you." Beth gripped her hands. "We have to get out of here before he tries somethin'."

"I know he is, Beth. He made a show of it when he took me onto the roof."

"He's dangerous," Beth urged, eyes wide and alert. "He... When I first got here, a girl killed herself trying to get away from him. He...raped her, Carol—repeatedly—and he wanted... He tried to get to me, but Edwards kept an eye on me. Then Dawn. If he wants you—"

"He won't get me," Carol assured her, smoothing down her hair and smiling at her genuinely. "I escaped men just like him all my life, and he won't. I may be able to use him, but he won't use me. I know how to handle myself, and I have...someone I have to get back to. We both do."

She nodded and returned her smile, a light returning to her jasper eyes, and she held her hand tighter. "We're gonna get out of here."

"We're getting out of here." Carol stroked her cheek. "You, me, and Noah. I'll use Gorman to try and get a location on him. Can you get the medicine in the morning?"

"Yeah, I have a plan for that. What else do I need to do so we can haul ass outta here?"

"How flexible is your schedule?"

"I'm with Dawn in the morning then I'm pretty much free. I clean some places, but mostly can roam anywhere. Why? Where do you need me?"

"After you get the medicine, go downstairs to the first floor with some sheets. Get some scissors and cut head holes into three sheets."

"What for?"

Carol's nose scrunched. "So we can wear them out."

"Out?" Beth's brows met, and she opened her mouth to question but instead groaned. "Wait..."

"Yes. I'll leave a key above the supply closet. Lure in one walker and cover the sheets in its guts. I know you can do it. It's a small gap, and I'll misfire to draw them to the other side of the building around two."

She nodded. "What will you be doing?"

"Getting Noah and a car."

"We both have tall orders." Beth inhaled. "Can we really pull this off?"

"Hey, you already got out once, and I'll make sure no one is watching you closely. We'll leave the next morning when the patrols are switching, I'll give you the key to head out to the car then Noah and I will join you. Okay?"

"Why not tomorrow night?"

"They close ranks on the second and first floor at night. We'll have to time that morning perfectly. Trust me, okay? I've thought this through all day."

She nodded. "I trust you." She hugged her. "I get to see Maggie again. God, I can't wait."

"Yeah." Carol rubbed her back and exhaled, feeling guilty about leaving that part out, but the truth would reveal itself on the drive back. She would be sure of it.

Beth told Carol of her plan to get to the medicine, Carol described the car she would getting keys for, and they reviewed their plan. There would be no practice runs. There would be no second chances. It was a one shot with adrenaline pumping and cool expressions only. They had to work together flawlessly if they were all going to escape, and they would. They both vowed silently to themselves that they would all see the next sunset as free people away from this hostile hospital, and then they would be home. All of them.

Beth fell asleep in Carol's arms, sleeping more soundly than she ever had, and Carol played with the strands of her hair, thinking over the plan and using the detailed patrol schedule Bello had written out for her at request. Shepard and Jackson would patrolling that morning, but Jackson was a slacker. Shepard was by the book, but she couldn't stand Jackson. She would likely hurry the scan up just to get away from him, and he would linger, but not in the hall they needed, so they simple had to move around him. It would be easy, and if they ran into trouble, a well placed knock to the head would solve that.

As for Noah... She didn't like this part of the plan. She would have to use Gorman to get his location and situation. She would have to get close to him, close to what he wanted from her, and she had to get rid of him. He wasn't due on schedule for the rest of that night, so it wouldn't be too difficult to do that. Jackson or his other buddies might look for him, but if his planned work, she could use that for her advantage.

Now the car keys. Bello didn't have any out of the hospital work anytime soon. She could sense he was afraid of the outside world, of what seeing it would do to his precious memories. It would appear what he had seen had already tainted him, so she would have to play another angle. He did perform maintenance on the cars weekly to ensure they ran. She could work that with the keyholder. All they needed was a story, a good story, and it would sate their curiosity. Just like children. All they needed was a good tale spun before them to keep the darkness of the world at bay, and she would spin delightfully for them. If it meant getting home sooner.

She looked down at Beth in her arms and kissed her forehead, a weight gone from her body. She worried about the young girl for so long, but she was here in her arms, warm and breathing. She was still the same girl Carol always knew and a woman that Carol couldn't wait to meet and nurture as they continued onward together. She could make sure that Beth would survive this world in Maggie's place. She would honor Hershel and Maggie with that promise. Whether Maggie was alive or not, Carol would honor this silent vow. As she always intended.

Beth shifted slightly, snoring softly as her lips parted and mumbling a few words before dozing deeper. Carol knew she would have to get back to her own room to avoid any late night or early morning check ups, but for now she would grant Beth the peaceful rest of knowing a loved one was beside you. It was the least she could do.

In the morning Carol had already gone to tend to her duties and Beth began her part of the plan. She had only a brief window to do this, but she knew how to play the people here. After three years here, of course she did.

"Hey." She jogged over to Edwards and smiled. "Good morning."

"Yeah, morning." He cleared his throat. "You look rested."

"Aww, thanks." She smiled and crossed her arms, walking down the corridor with him. "You too. It's a shame too, 'cause I'd be worried if I were you."

"What do you mean?" He avoided the uniform stomping through the ward and studied the young woman, eyes now glued to her face. "What do you know?"

"That woman? The one they just brought in?" He nodded her on. "She's a doctor. I heard her talkin' to Henry about his condition, and she's good. Sounds like my Daddy, actually."

"What?" He came to an instant stop, running a hand through his hair and stuttering. "W—wait, wait, how do you know? I mean, aside from Henry."

"I talked to her." She gestured to the stitches marring her face. "Kinda needed a second opinion on these."

"Uh, um, what—what did she say?"

"She's a war vet. You should see her with a gun. It's impressive." She smiled. "But hey, don't worry. She wants to be on patrol, so no worries."

He narrowed his eyes. "Then why tell me?"

"Because I need a favor, and pressure helps them along." She stopped smiling and locked her eyes in his. "I need a key to the medicine supply before lunch."

"What? Why?"

"Because I just do."

"Is this...about Noah?" He searched her face. "I know you care about him, but Dawn will keep his wounds clean. He won't need—"

"I don't trust Dawn with anythin', now get me that damn key, or I tell Dawn about our good friend and her skills," Beth snapped. "Before lunch, got it? I don't want to do this, but I will if it puts his life in danger."

"Fine, fine." He glared. "Tss, you do fit in here."

"I've had practice." She turned on her heel to head to Dawn's office.

"Jesus H." Edwards exhaled and looked back at the girl, shaking his head. "Fuck."

Beth smirked at the sound of his panic and headed into work, and Dawn was in the middle of chewing Jackson out. Beth avoided eye contact and continued in her duties, spotting a set of car keys on the desk, and she glanced up when Dawn struck the man.

"You do it again, and—"

"And what?" Jackson cut her off, eyes glistening under the light with cockiness and amusement. "You'll lecture me again, Mom? Tssh, you have no control her, Dawnie. Get a grip." He strolled out of the room like he hadn't just gotten chewed out and abused.

"Little prick." Dawn grabbed the keys and threw them at Beth. "Take those down to Murry."

Beth caught them and met her eyes. "I should finish—"

"Go now!" She shouted, lunging at her, and Beth tilted her chin, almost willing Dawn to smack the other cheek, and she huffed. "Get out. I don't need you here today."

"Fine." She closed her fingers around the keys and headed out as Edwards slipped in. She cut him a look, and he returned it with a barely there nod, pocketing the keys and heading down to "return" the keys to Murry.

She caught Shepard eyeing her as she made her down to the lower levels, but she played it cool and moved forward, refusing to stop or divert from her goal. She would need to find a bag to store the medicine in. She had nothing but her pillow case, so she'd need several of them downstairs. She wasn't sure how she'd get them back upstairs, but hey, she was growing girl. She was getting bigger every day in all parts of her body. And if someone commented on her hips width, she'd play offended and stomp off like any lady.

She waved at Murry and leaned over the counter. "So, Jackson took a car out without permission, huh?"

"What's it to you?" He was an older man, reminded her somewhat of Otis, and he really didn't care much for his job. He wanted to be on the roof, but Dawn said his eyes weren't good enough to look through a scoop, only to check keys in and out.

"Just wonderin'. Dawn's pissed, but she'll eventually bring the key down."

"Great, so I'll get hassled by Gorman while she takes her sweet time returnin' my key."

"Sorry." She glanced at the door that would lead to their sweet escape. "What did he take?"

"The damn rust bucket stick shift." He shook his head. "I'm stunned it turns out. Thing's older than me."

Oh, great. "Wow, that's interestin'."

"Yeah, bet you couldn't even drive that thing." He narrowed his eyes at her. "You even learn how to drive before this?"

"Actually, yeah, and I can work a stick just fine. My...daddy taught me."

He nodded. "Not that I don't like the company, but don't you got duties?"

"Not right now. Dawn's in a mood."

He groaned. "When ain't she?"

She laughed. "Right?"

"Shhh, shhh." He smiled. "Don't let 'em hear. Especially that Shepard. She's a fireball."

"That's right," Shepard confirmed, coming off the steps. "I am."

Beth turned to her and crossed her arms. "I was told to come here."

"Did I ask?" She stepped closer to the young girl. "Walk with me."

"Why?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Because I can make you, or you can just move your legs and join me." Her hand hovered over her night stick. "It's too early for the hard way, but adrenaline always made for better coffee."

"All right." She glanced at the clock behind Murry's head and counted the hours she had. If Shepard didn't put her on another assignment. "Let's hurry. I have to clean a couple rooms before noon."

"Just walk, Greene."

Beth sucked air in and hoped Carol was having better luck with her half of the plan.

––

Carol glanced back behind her once more, seeing that nobody was following her, and she rounded the corner, finding herself being spun back against a wall by her arm, and her eyes met the curious and amused eyes of Gorman. She knew he'd been lurking nearby, so she wasn't surprised when he grabbed her, which judging by the searching in his eyes this reaction fully surprised him. He was less amused and more bemused. That could be dangerous in the right hands, and they weren't his hands.

"What are you doing, roaming down this dark hallway all alone?" he inquired, his right arm blocking her path back to "safety" and making it so she'd have to walk around him, leaving an open opportunity for him to try something.

"What makes you think I'm scared of the dark?" Carol challenged, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Isn't everybody?"

"Well, I guess I'm not everybody." She untucked a hand from her chest and placed it on his, pushing him back and away from her. "Try and invest in a nightlight, Gorman." She walked away without looking back, but she didn't get very far before his hands were on her again.

"We're not done." He held onto her forearm and kept her in place, standing behind her so close that their shoulders touched. "Now I've kept my word to Dawn and let you onto our rotations."

"And that means what exactly to me?" Carol didn't bother to look at him, feeling the blade she kept her shoe heavy against the length of her foot.

"It means you should be nicer to those in charge," he said into her ear. "We can help each other out, you know. I scratch your back...you scratch mine."

"And if I don't want to scratch your back?"

"I wouldn't be so sure about waking up in a safe, warm bed."

"So, what you throw me to the dead?"

"People disappear all the time when there's nobody there to protect them."

She almost laughed in his face, but she couldn't break face just yet. She inhaled and set her hand over his on her arm. "You'll protect me?" She flickered her eyes over to him, viewing him through her eyelashes and almost smiling at him. "How?"

"Any way you need." He smiled back at her. "Dawn can be iffy, but me? I'm like a rock. I don't change my opinion, so it's best to stay in my good graces. But you know that, right?"

"How can you protect me when you're Dawn's lap dog?"

He bared his teeth. "I am no one's dog."

"Oh, yeah? You come when she calls, tend to her discarded things, and you...pretty much just lack the collar. Do you wipe her ass too?"

"I try and keep the peace, but I don't tend to anything." A flash of pride washed over his face as he pulled her back against him to whisper, "Noah just rots in the nutty ward. Like I'd waste the medicine on the welp anyway. He can't even run properly. He'll die from the damage and turn. I'll leave Dawn to deal with that."

"Hmm. So powerful to let another deal with your mess."

"I get you over a table, and you'll see how much power I have."

"Right." She stepped forward, he tightened his grip on her arm, and she smirked teasingly at him. "C'mere."

He narrowed his eyes at her, his fingers loosening on her arm, and she opened the door to the abandoned exam room. She closed and locked the door while he removed his belt, and she glanced at the belt for a moment, seeing no gun, only a nightstick. He likely removed it in case she tried to make him eat a bullet. Sadly for him it wouldn't be so gentle.

"I have a question for you." She sat down on the gurney in front of him, fingers only inches away from his belt.

He chuckled. "Guess you better ask now before your mouth is full."

"Why me? Why not someone else? Like...Beth?"

"Edwards is all over that girl, and now she's Dawn's pet project after her little escape attempt." He traced his finger across her lips. "She would have been mine, but there's you now. With age comes experience."

She wasn't able to respond due to his thumb forcing its way into her mouth, and she dug her nails into the mattress.

"I looked at the schedule, and you have nowhere to be." His lips twisted upward darkly, disgustingly. "And I don't have any duties today, so you can just...take your time." He ripped his thumb out of her mouth, his nail catching on her bottom lip and cutting it open, blood pooling over the line. "Oops."

She wiped her lip off and stood up, pushing him back against the counter roughly, and he barely caught his footing. He was about to snap but she dropped down to her knees and unbuttoned his jeans. He leaned against the counter and flatten his palms against its smooth surface, groaning softly at the gentle yet firm touches against his member.

He closed his eyes at her touch, the blood in his body shifting downward delightfully at the feel of a woman's soft flesh, and his parted as a lustful moan escaped. He had waited months for a decent piece to come through after Joan jumped off the roof and Beth became permanently attached to Dawn's ass. Shit, he didn't think it'd come, but the world had a way of balancing itself out. Sooner or later he would have little bitch, looking like a blonde Sally or not. He knew she was untouched, and he would her deep with his seed. Fuck, he couldn't wait for that moment when her little bubble of security popped harder than her cherr—

A strangled gasp escaped through his lips, his eyes slowly opening as short shaky breaths escaped him, and his hand flew to his side, finding a wet heat there. He looked down to find the edge of some small little pencil shaped object sticking out of his side, the woman's other hand turning it sharply, and his body was no longer his own. He had no control as shock took over, his knees giving out, and she ripped the object out of him as he fell to the floor.

Carol exhaled deeply and bent down beside him, shaking her head at him. "This is for every girl who couldn't fight back and for Beth. Nobody threatens or tries to force themselves on my girl, you small...weak nothing." She gripped the hilt of the knife and stabbed it through his skull so he wouldn't come back. She didn't want to trip over him on the way out.

She knew the way to the psych ward was locked. It was in the lovely tour that Shepard gave her, but if Dawn did leave him in charge of Noah, he had to have a key. She rifled through his pockets and found a set of keys that were marked with numbers. There was only a four, a zero and then one was an R, which had to be the roof. The zero was likely the psych ward since nobody was supposed to be on that floor. The four looked like it belonged to a locker, probably something he had in his room.

She also found a couple pieces of gum, a few old mints and condoms in his pockets, which she left where she dropped them. She had one goal here: saving Noah. The rest was background noise. She would get his room and prepare him to be moved tomorrow. She didn't know what schedule Dawn had for him, so she couldn't move him just yet, but she would first thing tomorrow morning. He would be the first thing grabbed, Beth would get the car ready, and they would be gone before breakfast. There was no other option. They had to be gone by morning. There could be no delays or errors. She'd already been gone too long...

Carol stood up and turned the sink on, rinsing the blood off her hand and the X-acto knife. She broke the handle to the exam room and tossed it into the trash, casually rejoining the people of Grady. She spotted the door to the psych ward and conversation Dawn and Shepard were having in front of it. She would have to come back later, or perhaps just get him tomorrow in one quick burst. She didn't want to do that. She wanted to see the damage Dawn had done to him and apologize and give him the pain meds some old man traded her with for her strawberries. She wanted him to be okay. She shouldn't have put him in that position, but he volunteered, and they had no choice. For her to be so welcome, they had no choice. She hated those words. She truly did.

"Psst!"

Carol looked over as an older woman waved her over. She looked around to be sure the woman meant her, and when she realized she was, she approached her. "Can I help you?"

"Not me, but the girl." She leaned against the door frame to her room and crossed her arms with such effort it was clear the woman was on something. For her own good or for recreation, Carol wasn't sure, but it as clear she wouldn't remember this conversation or herself by this evening. "Beth has...keys."

"Keys?" Carol narrowed her eyes.

"Jingle, jingle," she muttered, staring at the light reflecting off the metal of the doorknob. "They go jingle jingle. Like Christmas."

Carol simply nodded and slipped away. She didn't want to seen lingering, and she didn't want the hope flooding through her to be ruined. Beth had the key to the medicine cabinet or locker or whatever. She had the key, and she would get the medicine. That meant two out of four were done already today. Beth had a difficult two out of two to complete, but she would get it done. That girl had strength by the bucket loads, and she wanted to save Noah. That would drive her. That, and...wanting to see her family again.

Carol sighed softly and lowered her eyes, her feet stopping by the stairs that lead to the roof where she was stationed for that afternoon. She didn't have the heart to tell Beth. She had no clue where their family was. She had lost them after the prison fell. She wasn't even sure when it fell, but by the time she had to go back, it was gone. They were gone. She tried to track them, but nature covered their way. She had nothing to go off of, and...there was nothing left for her there. She had to keep moving forward, and she found a home. It wasn't just her home, and she would to explain that to Beth, too. Explain and apologize.

"Hey." Bello called to her. "You're late. Get up there."

"I am. I just need my gun." She didn't make eye contact with him, and she knew he noticed. "Is it up there already? Or do I have to—"

"Hey, you okay?" He drew closer to her, trying to study her face, but a mask was up. A lovely mask, but he didn't care for lovely. In this world lovely meant lies, and lies meant you were dead soon. He'd had enough of that ill logic.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just...not used to sleeping in a bed or waking up safe to a meal." She cleared her throat. "It's...interesting."

"If you need a minute—"

"I don't."

"I know adjusting isn't an easy process, but you'll find a home here. You'll learn who to trust and who to avoid, and it'll be... it'll become normal. It'll be...good. You can be happy here. I promise you can."

"I suppose I'll have to see." She turned and padded up the stairs towards the roof without another word and swallowed around the lump in her throat. It felt as though it were becoming a permanent fixture, but she'd been ignore it since she first saw the girl. It would seem she would choke before it would be gone.

Downstairs Beth scanned the hall once more before bending down and unlocking the cabinet. She ran her eyes over the labels and pulled what was on the list. She took a few extra that would ease pain and infection, slipping them gently into the pillowcase, the bottles hitting the syringes she had in there as well. She shut the cabinet door and tied the pillowcase, collecting the spare uniform she'd been given after dirtying her current only, nonchalantly walking away and tucking the case in between.

"Beth." Dawn stopped in the hall at the sight of the girl.

She faced her. "What?"

"Meet me in my office in ten minutes. Clean yourself up."

At the sound boots behind her, Beth nodded. "I'll be there. You can count on me."

"Don't." Jackson brushed by the girl and neared Dawn. "I need to have a word with you. It's important, and you can talk to her anytime."

"Why would I want to waste perfectly good air on you?" Dawn didn't even look at him.

"Because it's important, like I said, and if you don't listen to me, you'll come to regret it."

"I highly doubt that. Beth, ten minutes."

"Make it five," Beth shot back.

"Damn it." He huffed and sent a harsh look to Beth before chasing Dawn down to try and change her mind.

Beth smirked to herself and headed to her room. She changed out of of her messed uniformed and into the clean one, tucking the pillowcase inside of her pillow. She tugged the slit closed and carried her dirty scrubs to their designated area, avoiding eye contact with the new guy there. She couldn't look at him. It would remind her of Noah, and she couldn't go there. He would be out of here soon. They all would. That was what she had to focus on. The now. The future. Her future. It was in no one's hands but her own.

– – –

It was midnight, all the clocks read as such, and by how neither Carol nor Beth slept, it had to be. Beth had been caught up with Dawn for rest of the night, and even when it was done, Dawn walked her to her room personally. She didn't have time to make the walker ponchos, so they would have to just fight them off. It shouldn't be too much. Jackson went out there and beat most of them with a metal rod out of anger when Dawn wouldn't listen to his concern. Beth didn't know what was under his skin, but there was nothing now. In the heat of his beatings, he got bitten. Bello didn't hesitate.

Beth had the car keys and the medicine, but they had no sheets, no idea what condition Noah was in, and they would have no sleep for this plan. With freedom so close, how could they sleep? It made sense, even if her brain was going off on her for not trying to sleep. She paced the length of her bed and made sure the key was still in her bra. Once the metal warmed, it felt like it wasn't there. She kept checking. It was still there. The meds were still there. The plan was still on. It was okay. She would be home. She would be in Maggie's arms soon. God, Mags.

She covered her mouth to stop from either laughing or wailing at the thought, and she closed her eyes to pray for this escape plan to go right. She hadn't prayed in so long, but she had to now. With Daddy and Ma up there... Shawn and Patricia and Otis... Lori and Andrea... everyone... It would be heard. She knew it would be. She felt it. Like a hand on her shoulder, she felt it. They would get home.

She opened her eyes as sunlight poured into her room, and she blinked slowly, using the bed to help her stand. She pulled the meds from her pillow and opened the door to find Carol already there. They didn't speak or exchange any looks. They simply passed each other as the sun began its leisure rise.

Beth passed the few patients who had insomnia and couldn't be drugged due to poor reactions, her shoes silent on clean floors, and she didn't look back. She gripped the medicine tightly in her hand as she blew by Dawn's office. She smiled as she did so and felt an urge to run. It wasn't out of fear. It wasn't out of anything other than the desire to be out of that building quickly.

The front door squeaked open, her eyes were blinded by the light, but she adjusted and dodged the walker coming for her. She moved against the wall so that if any person were early to their morning shift, she wouldn't be seen. She spotted the black SUV all ready for her, and she peeked at the roof before running over to it. She couldn't kill these walkers, but thankfully they were slow and had to move around the bodies of their fallen dead. She had a easy access to the SUV and climbed inside, setting the medicine in the passenger seat and making sure the key fit. She couldn't start it—not yet—not until Carol and Noah were in sight.

She gripped the steering wheel as more and more walkers crowded around the car at the sight of her and began to smack against the door and the hood to try and get her out. It had to be drawing attention to the car, and she couldn't let Carol and Noah come out to a walker covered car. It would be problematic. More than. She had to get this car running and let the consequences be what they were. If worse came to worst, Carol had a car in the city. They could use that. Or just hike it back home. Either way she wasn't going back in there. No fucking way.

There was a sudden blare behind her, she flinched at the unexpected noise and noticed the walkers were drifting over to it. She twisted in her seat and saw another car alarm had been trigger, and she spotted movement. She unlocked the doors and climbed over the console to open the backdoor, smiling when Noah and Carol appeared.

"Take him." Carol was panting and didn't waste anytime dropping Noah on Beth and running around to take the wheel.

Beth struggled somewhat to pull him into the car, seeing a walker snarling towards her. She yanked him one last time and slammed the door shut before the walker could stumble any closer and held him close as Carol started the car. She closed her eyes as Carol backed up, the sound of crunching and groaning came before the car screech off and busted through the gates. Beth didn't hear as single gun fire until they were speeding down the street, and by that point, they were out of range from their snipers.

She opened her eyes. "Carol?"

"We'll be out the city before noon." She sped up, checking the gas once more and glancing back at the rear view mirror. "Buckle in."

"Yeah..." She adjusted herself in the middle of the backseat, Noah half sprawled over her leg, and she held him close like a human seat belt once she was buckled in herself. She couldn't see any of his wounds, but she knew he would have plenty of bruises and scars, too.

"Carol?"

"We'll can't stop by his shelter or my old car to get the cans I had or he had. We have to keep moving. We'll stop once we're out of the city to try and get some food and some first aid, but we can't stop. I barely got him out. I had to improvise and use that elevator shoot." She didn't want to know how much walker goo was on her. "They should've had it locked up due to your escape, but... it wasn't locked. There were chains and everything, but it wasn't locked."

"Carol." Beth set her hand on the seat by Carol's shoulder, unable to reach her while buckled.

She exhaled. "Yeah, Beth?"

"We're out." She laughed as tears filled her eyes. "We made it out."

She returned her smile. "We made it out." She chuckled. "Thank God, right?"

"And Shepard."

"What?" Her eyes locked in Beth's in the rear view mirror.

"Yeah, so... I didn't work alone," Beth confided, explaining the entire situation.

––

" _That's right," Shepard confirmed, coming off the steps. "I am."_

_Beth turned to her and crossed her arms. "I was told to come here."_

" _Did I ask?" She stepped closer to the young girl. "Walk with me."_

" _Why?" She narrowed her eyes._

" _Because I can make you, or you can just move your legs and join me." Her hand hovered over her night stick. "It's too early for the hard way, but adrenaline always made for better coffee."_

" _All right." She glanced at the clock behind Murry's head and counted the hours she had. If Shepard didn't put her on another assignment. "Let's hurry. I have to clean a couple rooms before noon."_

" _Just walk, Greene."_

_Beth sucked air in and hoped Carol was having better luck with her half of the plan, falling into step with Amanda. "What do you want?"_

" _I said walk with me, not talk to me."_

" _What—?"_

_Her hand smacked against Beth's collarbone, knocking her back into an open closet door, and Beth tripped, falling back into a pile of sheets. Shepard surveyed the area and closed the door, kneeling over and locking her eyes in Beth's. "I know what you're doing, Beth."_

" _What I'm doin'? You just knocked me into the trash!"_

" _Shh!" She dropped to her knees and covered her mouth. "I want to help. Okay?"_

_Beth complained against her hand._

" _I know you're planning another escape. I know you know that woman who came in. I don't care how or why. I want you gone. I want her gone. But most importantly I want Dawn out."_

_Her brows furrowed, and she stared at Amanda. "Huh?"_

" _I can't stomach her leadership anymore. I need her gone, but to do that, I need to use you. And you need my help if you're going to get out of here with Noah and medicine and a car." She lowered her hand. "I have a plan. A coup. I need your help to make it work, and you need my help to make your plan work, so it evens out."_

" _Why help me now?"_

" _Because I didn't survive the end of the world to become a victim to assholes who don't like to hear no. I didn't survive to let the dead be better than us." She shook her head. "I can't let this place continue on like this. With O'Donnell dead, it's getting worse, and I need to nip this in the bud right now. There's not a lot of us left, and if Dawn continues to lead, there won't be anything left within six months."_

" _I don't trust you."_

" _And you don't need to. You just need to move and be quick. I need...favors. If you can...ease them along, I'll get you a car full of gas and give Noah some food and meds tonight."_

" _What favors?"_

" _I need Gorman and Jackson killed by you or Carol. It doesn't matter which. I just need them gone. I can use them to turn the people against Dawn, and I can use you to turn uniforms against her, too."_

" _I'm not going to kill—"_

" _Then let Carol kill. Or play into their ego or anger. I don't care how. I just need them dead, and not by my hand. All right? It's all I need from you, aside from getting the fuck out of my hospital."_

" _So I leave and get rid of them, and you help us?"_

" _Yes."_

" _You're full of shit." Beth climbed to her feet, eyes burning into Shepard's. "It's never been easy in this world, and you're gonna make it easy all of a sudden? It's bullshit."_

" _Killing two men is easy for you? What kind of world do you live in, little girl?" She rose and searched her eyes. "I don't want your thanks or your trust; I want you gone. I want her and Noah gone. But I need my hands clean from this to turn this place around. This is my home and trust that I want to protect it. Trust that I want it to thrive and survive and be a home again. Trust that I want good leadership and the blood stains to stop. Trust that...I'm human, just like you. I was a coward. I held my tongue, but that's over with. I'm done cowering. Help me...help you get the fuck out of my home."_

_She studied her closely, her eyes wide and bright, and there was no room for lies in those sorrowfully orbs. She nodded slowly and asked her what her plan was for this. Amanda smiled softly and thanked her, handing over the keys to the SUV that had a spare wheelchair folded in the back and a small supply of food and water as a sign of good faith._

" _First of all...I need you up Dawn's ass," Shepard whispered. "I need them to think you're planning this escape together, and Dawn never lets you out of her sight for long. Play on that. Heavily. Let people know you're hers..."_

– – –

Beth sat beside the small river with a semi-conscious Noah resting beside her. She wore her old clothes, the ones she'd gotten from the golf club and had from the prison, using a torn piece of scrub to clean the dried blood from the reopened wound on his chin. She placed his head on her lap, carefully tending to this last wound of his and looking over at Carol.

She had cleaned up and wore the outfit she entered in as well, filling the emptied water bottles from the trunk with river water. She hadn't spoken to Beth since Beth told her of Shepard's part in their escape. She knew Carol wasn't happy with it, but no one was following them. There was nothing wrong with the car. They had some food and water and clothes. They had the medicine, plus the kit left for the drivers while they roamed the city and outskirts. They were in the clear—knock all the wood.

"Are you gonna talk to me?" She smoothed ointment over his chin as he stared up at the sky, still medicated and high as a kite.

Carol sighed loudly and twisted the cap shut, looking over at the girl. "I'm not angry with you."

"Then why are you ignorin' me?"

"It... It's not something you did." She straightened and placed the water bottle back into the black milk crate and lifted it off the ground. "Let's load up the car and...then have a talk, okay?"

"We can talk once we're home. I want to put all the miles between that hell hole and us." She wiped her finger on the remaining scrub and smiled at Noah, urging him to stand up. She assisted him in standing, arm around his waist. "We can talk on the road, if you want."

"Okay then."

They loaded up the car with items and themselves, Beth gave Noah more painkillers to let him continue to rest on the way home, and Carol gripped the wheel tightly, pulling onto the dirt road that would eventually lead them home. It was silent for many miles as Beth watched Noah sleep easily with the medicine and Carol tried to find words that wouldn't break the girl's heart. It wasn't so simple, but luckily child-like wonder was. Beth adjusted her seat belt and closed the water bottle, taking it from Noah gently and looking through the windshield at the beauty of nature before her.

"I've missed the trees and the green." She smiled. "The wild flowers... It's all so lovely. Reminds me of the farm."

Carol shared her smile and nodded. "I loved the open area and the nature of the farm. The grove reminds me of it."

"The grove?" She peered at her. "Is that where we are now? Well, they are now?"

"It's where I found a new home," Carol replied, eyes forward, turning down a marked path only her eyes could recognize, and she inhaled, rolling the windows down to let the warm air in. "There are peaches and pecans overflowing, some animals that come through for them, and a well. The house itself has no power, but the stove is gas. There are plenty of lanterns with oil and candles. It's warm, and it's...home."

"Peaches?" Beth hadn't had fresh fruit in so long. Rick's crops took so long to grow, and they were burned down before most of them could be eaten. It was a shame. She didn't eat anything from the hospital that cost too much. Fresh fruit was in high demand, so she avoided it unless she needed to bargain, but even then it wasn't going into her mouth. "Mmm, I can't wait to have some."

"Yeah, I picked some before I left. I made some jam. You'll have to try it on the oat cakes Denise makes. They're delicious."

"Denise? Is she new?"

"Yes, I met her more than three years ago. She's...been great. A real friend when I...needed one." She lowered her eyes and opened her mouth to confess, "Beth, listen, I—"

"Is that it?" Beth gasped, cutting Carol off and viewing the house coming into view.

"Yeah, that's it."

The house was lovely and kept in good condition. The rails were covered by vines and plants, some of them planted vegetables and other herbs for medicinal and cooking properties. There were beautiful yellow flowers blooming along the house, and it brought a touch of life and warmth to the house. It felt like a home, and Beth couldn't wait to go inside and be a part of their home again. The only downside to the cozy home was the a creepy and crumbling shed. She would be sure to avoid that.

The front door opened to armed blonde woman, her apron covered with blood, and Carol's heart stopped at the sight. Beth had a feeling this was Denise and climbed out of the car to make introductions. At the sight of Carol in the front seat, Denise lowered the gun back to its holster at her hip and removed the apron to greet her and their guests.

"I'm sorry I'm a mess." She brushed hair out of her face and came off the porch with a smile that spoke in greetings and relief. "I just killed a chicken for dinner, but it's kind of a fat one, so we'll have plenty."

Oh, thank God. Carol climbed out of the car and embraced her tightly. "Everything's okay then?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's okay." She rubbed her back. "Especially now."

"You're right." Carol stepped back and grasped Beth's hand to pull her closer. "This is Beth Greene. She's family from before my previous home fell. Beth, this is Denise Clyod."

"Hi." Beth shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you from Carol, and I'm...glad you're safe now with us."

"Me, too. Um, I should get Noah into a bedroom."

"Noah?" Denise's brows rose. "Another one?"

"He helped save us," Carol replied. "He need to be looked over. Can you do that while I unload everything?"

"I want to be with him while you do. It's...my fault it happened, and I want to know he'll be okay. I'll meet everyone else later." She jogged over to the car and waved Denise over to give her a hand.

"Are you sure you want me to take care of him first?" Denise eyed Carol. "The fever—"

"It's fine. I know what to do, but thanks for the concern. He needs you more, and I can take care of her."

"I'll check in on you as soon as I'm done."

"I appreciate that."

Denise and Beth helped Noah into the first bedroom down the hall, Carol unloaded the medicine and food and water while Denise exmained the young man and found several injuries, and Beth stayed by his side. Denise had some supplies to help ease the pain he'd feel in his right sprained wrist, the two cracked teeth in the back of his mouth, the bruising to his jaw, the break in his left forearm. Beth almost cried at the damage done to her friend, but he would be all right, so they were happy tears. The sorrow had no room right now. She wouldn't let it.

Denise closed the bedroom door as Noah continued to rest and Beth passed out. The adrenaline had come and gone, and now it was time for rest. She'd leave them to it. She had someone else to check up on then she would make dinner for them. Their...huge family now. First there was one, and now...five. She didn't know she could have such a large family again, but there it was. It would only grow and strengthen. She'd make sure of it.

– – –

Cries. Crying. Someone was crying. No, it wasn't crying. It was wailing. Someone was... No, a baby. A baby was wailing. Judith. Hmm. Judy. Her eyes lids twitched at the sound of a small child's cries. Her body reacted before her mind, and she woke herself up, the body beside her still and snoring softly. She smiled weakly and pushed off the bed, stumbling down the hall to find Judith's crib and to not disturb Rick in the process.

It wasn't until Beth was standing barefoot in a living room did she wake up and realize she hadn't seen Judith in over three years. She smiled at the realization that Judith was there and crying, and she hurried through the door to the kitchen, seeing the back door was open. It was late at night, the kitchen smelled of chicken and herbs, and through the door she found Carol—not Rick.

Carol was standing in the cool night arm with a child too young to be Judith in her arms, wrapped in a golden knitted blanket, small back being rubbed in the light of the moon, and Carol softly hushed the tears and hiccups away. She rubbed the child's cheek and kissed its forehead, the dark brown locks curled over small shoulders, and a pale face rested scrunched up on Carol's shoulder. The child was out cold at this point, but Beth was wide awake.

"Carol..." She stepped onto the porch.

"Shh." Carol brushed hair back from the face of the child in her arms. "You'll wake her. She's a light sleeper with this fever."

"She...who? Why is she so upset?"

"Fever nightmare." She adjusted the three year old in her lap. "The meds helped, but dreams can't be."

"I hear that." Beth drew closer to see the child's face and her heart felt an attachment for the child already. "Wow, she's so beautiful. What's her name?"

"Thank you." Carol smiled at her, a fatigue painted all over the gesture and reflecting in her eyes. "It's been a while since I got a compliment. Denise says she looks like me after all."

"Thank...?" Beth's eyes lit up. "She's yours?"

"She's Charlotte." Carol brought the blanket up to cover her daughter's shoulder as she drifted further into a light sleep on her shoulder, and she kissed her daughter's brow. "My daughter."


	2. Home Has Changed

 

Denise checked on Noah the next morning, seeing he was able to walk and talk normally, though with mild pain thanks to the medicine. And he was glowing with joy at being out of the hospital. He wanted to know what happened, and Denise explained since Carol gave her the full story. She liked his energy and was glad he was with them now. He was just a kid, and he needed a chance at a happy life. Normal didn't exist anymore, but happy could. Happy did. These four walls, Carol and Charlotte were her happiness, and it increased twofold now with Noah and Beth.

Beth had been up since she first heard Charlotte, and Carol was preparing breakfast with the young girl snoozing away at her chest in her carrier. Beth drank the orange juice Carol had given her and eyed the woman closely.

"Beth, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She divided the eggs onto four plates, adding a scoop of oatmeal with fresh peaches and pecans. "I needed to get medicine for Charli, and I needed to get you out of that hospital. I couldn't waste time."

"So our family is wasted time now?" Green eyes glowered over the cup of orange juice. "After what we went through, how can you say that?"

"You know I never meant it like that." She set the plates down two at a time and rested her hands on the front of carrier, Charlotte's back. "I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I meant that, but I would never consider them a waste of anything. I loved them, Beth."

"Loved?" She shot up. "They ain't dead. Don't say it like that!"

"No yelling," Charlotte reprimanded sleepily. "It's not good. It brings walkers."

Carol stroked Charli's hair, exhaled and searched Beth's eyes. "It's been over three years. I... I haven't seen any of them. I don't know what happened to them. I don't know if they lived or died. I can't think about it."

"I  _have_  to think about it. It's been my constant thought since I was admitted into that hospital. She is the only blood I have left. Maggie is... Maggie. She's my sister, and I can't...just forget or move on. God, Glenn and—and Carl. Daryl!" She smacked a fist down hard onto the table, and Charlotte began to fuss softly, murmuring about the walkers. Tears formed in her eyes at her actions making the child pale and speak of the walkers fearfully. "Judith..."

Carol soothed her daughter and met Beth's eyes. "I know how you feel. I... They're our family, and I couldn't bear to leave it all behind. But I had to. I  _had_  to."

"How could you have to leave family behind?" Beth's voice wasn't familiar to her at all. It was high in volume, burning her throat as the words sliced out. Her chest heaved more and more at the pain piercing her heart, and her knees trembling at the answer Carol would give. She knew it. She knew the answer and yet this was all there was to be found.

"Because I searched for them!" The soft, reassuring voice that belonged to the woman was nowhere in sight. A raw, sharp tune rang in its place, and her arms tightened on the toddler against her chest. "I spent months roaming through the woods trying to find them, Beth. I almost died. My daughter almost died. I...followed every sign, every trail, but they all came up empty. There was nothing left for me to follow, and I... I..."

"She almost died at a stop down the way called Terminus," Denise took up where Carol couldn't. "She was shot in the hip trying to help a group escape them. She thought they might be your family, but we couldn't stay to find out. She was losing so much blood, and I need to stabilize her for the baby's sake. By the time she was up and moving again safely, her water broke, and she couldn't go looking for them. Charlotte was too weak at birth, and too much time had passed. Months became years became today, and there is nothing left. I've looked. She's looked. It's...all covered by fallen leaves and ashes and time."

She trembled and collapsed. "Maggie..."

"I'm sorry. I tried." Carol lifted Charlotte out of her carries and down to the floor. She bent down beside Beth. "I think she was with that group, but I only heard for sure Michonne and Carl were there. The rest... I lost so much blood, and I couldn't—"

Beth wrapped her arms around her. "It's okay. You did more than I could."

"You survived. You did a hell of a lot."

"And you saved me," Noah chimed in. "Twice. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you."

"And neither would Charlotte," Denise added, scooping the mentioned lady up in her arms at her request. "You helped get the medicine to save her. Her fever broke last night, and she's kept her breakfast down so far. Here's hoping the poops are solid and the dehydration goes away."

"Yeah." Beth wiped her nose on the back of her hand and smiled at the sweet girl in her vision. "I did do that, huh?"

"You did." Carol leaned back and motioned for Denise to come over. "Here, it's time Charlotte got to meet her family. Officially, not when she's unconscious and drooling on me."

"Ooh." Beth snuffled and gently accepted the girl from Denise, eyes taking in her precious face. She was pale just like her mother, eyes blue and bright and a shade darker than Carol's but still beautiful and sparkling. She would have the same nose as her sister from what Beth recalled, her face was rounded by the cute chub all toddlers had, but she would look similar to her mother as that faded. She was going to a beautiful child and person. There were hints of the father here and there, but overall she had her mother's face.

"Hi, Charlotte. I'm Beth. I...am glad to meet you." She kissed her temple and hugged her carefully, eyes closing as tears slid down her cheek. Charlotte smelled just like Judith, only earthier and softer somehow. She brought back so many memories, and Beth trembled. "How am I supposed to sit here and live my life without her?"

Carol wrapped an arm around her. "We'll find a way. We always do, you know that."

She rested her head on her shoulder and whimpered softly, finally mourning all that happened so very long ago.

– – –

Noah walked the property, checking out the wire fences, the thriving garden, the few bunnies that bounced around the berry bushes not to far over the fence. He drank in the sights and enjoyed the fresh air of freedom. He looked through the window to find Carol changing the diaper of her daughter with Beth leaning against the wall. They were talking. He supposed he had some talking to do himself. He had his own home to get back to.

"So, you met her at the railroad?" Beth covered her nose slightly, not adjusted the scents a baby made anymore.

"I met her before that. I was...seven months pregnant, and she came upon me in the woods. I was showing, and she offered me an oatcake for water. We talked briefly, she tried to examine me, and I walked away. I heard talk of a chick with a sword and a kid in a hat that day, so I left to try and get to them. I was shot after I blew up their tanks, and Denise had been following me. She saved me and got me out."

"Why would you do such a thing as pregnant as you were?"

"I don't know. I don't think I was thinking much on the pregnancy, only on saving them, and...it nearly cost me." She continued to change her daughter's diaper and smiled at the little birth mark on her left ankle. It was almost a heart shape. It seemed to suit her. She was a happy girl, and she was extremely loving. "I was bed ridden for the rest of my pregnancy, and Denise was sure I'd lose her. It was a rough delivery. After I got going, it was quick, but the hours leading up it... Phew. But Denise got me through it—afterwards, anyway." But humor helped. A lot. That was all she could offer, and it wasn't even in the moment. It was looking back. God, if only she had a camera. Well, again.

"God was looking out for you." She pushed off the wall and moved beside her. "It didn't seem like it, but He was."

"Rick exiled me," Carol replied, tapping the bottle of powder with her finger. "I was five months pregnant at the time, and I didn't even know until I felt her move. I...freaked out. I drove for hours trying to find a town with a test in it. I had to be sure I wasn't just...losing my mind, and I wasn't. It was just her making room."

"Rick exiled you?" Her eyes widened as she gasped. "Why?"

"I was the one who killed Karen and David. I was trying to stop that damned flu, trying to contain the damage and keep them from...ending up like Patrick. Choked to death on their own blood..." She closed her eyes tightly and felt Beth's hand over hers. "I didn't help anybody."

"They would have died." Her lips formed a sympathetic line, eyes to the floor. "You spared them pain. It's all we could have done, and it's difficult to accept that in the moment. I know there are things I've done that are hard to look at, but we can't dwell on them. We're alive, and we still recognize ourselves. That's what is important now."

She opened her eyes and nodded. "I've made my peace with it. I just wish...it would have worked. I gave them mercy, but I took away their goodbyes. That's the hard part."

"Yeah, though who knows if they would have survived the Governor's attack anyway." She exhaled then nodded and reached over to help clasp the diaper close. "But we both made it, and we'll build from that. We have to."

She stroked her hair and smiled. "Yes, we do."

"So, who's the father?" Beth blurted, not able to keep it in for a second longer, and she felt Carol's hand drop instantly.

"Beth." It was more of a warning than her name.

"You were pregnant at the prison, and we have a flood of new people. I know a lot of the men were interested in you."

"I'm not going back to the past. It won't help anything." She picked Charlotte up off the changing table and headed for the kitchen. "Do you want to read to her? It's about time for her stories."

"My stories," Charlotte muttered, speaking for the first time since the embarrassing of being changed in front of a stranger. "I like books."

"Yes, we love books." Carol kissed her forehead. "You read those books."

"I'd love to, but Carol, please." She caught up to her and gasped. "Oh, my God. Was it one of the younger guys? Or Dr. S?"

"No, it wasn't a young guy or Dr. S." Carol swept a hand over her daughter's face. "She looks nothing like him."

"Well, she looks like you so it isn't fair."

"No. She looks like her father." Perhaps that was only obvious to her. "And it doesn't matter if it's fair, okay? She likes Tom Sawyer, by the way. We don't have a lot of children's books, but I did manage to save a few from the prison."

Beth halted. "You—you went back?"

She nodded and pulled a book from the shelf. "I picked up some books, that picture of Lori and Carl and Rick, a couple unburnt blankets. Umm, some of Judith's things for Charlotte, and any canned food that was left. I was able to save some seeds for our garden."

"Did...you get anythin' else?"

"Hershel's bible." She held it out to Beth. "It's burnt but...the pages are readable. He had notes in the margins, and... It just felt right to take it with me."

She closed her fingers on the book, it felt so heavy once Carol let go of it, and she hugged it to her chest. "Daddy..."

"I buried him out there." She glanced out the window. "It's where the pink flowers grow. I...only found... I buried what I could find."

"You... He's here?" Her eyes watered.

"I couldn't just leave him."

"Thank you." She shivered. "Thank you for not leavin' him."

"He never left us, so how could I do no less?"

"Could I read to her from it? Or do you not want me to?"

"She can form her own opinions," Carol remarked. "She should know what might be out there. I won't hold her back."

"You're such a great mom." She beamed at her. "I can only imagine how great her dad was..."

"Keep imagining." Carol handed her Charlotte and walked away.

Beth rolled her eyes and sat on the couch to read her favorite sections to the girl and studied her to try and see who might have been her father. "Was it Ryan? Are you related to Mika and Lizzie?" He and Carol did spend a lot of time together. She was like a second mom to those girls, so it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities.

Big sapphire eyes shined back at her, and she pointed to the book. "Read, pease."

She chuckled. "Please."

"Pease," she repeated. "I like all stories."

"No, it wasn't Ryan." Carol leaned against the wall, adjusting her gardening gloves. "And it's none of your business. Just let it be, okay? She...probably won't meet him."

"Is he dead?"

A gentle smirk. "Not a chance."

"Oh, no. Was it Rick?"

She rolled her eyes now and slipped out to the garden to tend to her spinach and kale. She needed them for dinner tonight anyway. Well, Charlotte's dinner anyway.

"Well, was it?" Beth shouted after her, but after no reply she turned back to her duties with a sour face. She inhaled and began to read to Charlotte, Denise took stock of their medicine supplies and food, and Noah turned on the shower to wash away Grady and put on the clothes Denise had given him. Denise said they belonged to another of Carol's family. He wondered how much family Carol used to have. How family they all used to have.

––

Beth was asleep on the couch, the bible resting over her heart, Carol was preparing meals for Charlotte for the next few days in the kitchen, and Denise was helping her making their lunch. Noah was in the living room, staring into Charlotte's play pin as she played with a stuffed animal, and he smiled in on her.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" Denise came to get the knife she'd left behind to greet them yesterday.

"I never thought I'd see another baby in my lifetime." He chuckled at the small child. "She's not a baby, but you know what I mean. She's...a miracle."

"It's a teddy bear." Charlotte held it up for Noah, and she shook it. "Here, you have it."

He chuckled and accepted it. "Why thank you."

"You're very welcome." She scooted along to the other end of the pin and picked up a rainbow soft cube.

Denise smiled and approached him. "Yeah, she really is a miracle. She's healthy now and loving and bright. I can't wait to teach her what I know. She'll survive this world. I'll make sure of it. She just needs to work on those Ls. She supposedly can't work them, even though welcome's L was pronounced."

Charli glanced over her shoulder at Denise and put a finger to her lips.

Noah chuckled faintly. "Yeah, I remember when my brothers were born. I...I promised I'd protect them, be a good big brother, and... Well...I got captured by Grady. I don't even know if they're okay or together. They could be scattered like Beth and Carol's family. Or...worse."

"Why don't you try and find them? We can talk about it at dinner."

"I'd like that."

"It's good to have closure or...return home after being away for so long." Denise exhaled and pulled out a smile. "You didn't survive and escape to not find out how they are now. We'll talk it over."

"Thanks, Denise."

"Out." Charlotte pouted, hitting the pin with the cube. "I want out now, please."

"No, Charli. You know better."  _You're a troublesome little walker! Worse than actual walkers!_ She never said this, but if only she could get the idea into her head. God, her walking was literally the worst.

She drew in her lips to make a shriveled up pout and narrowed her eyes. "You know better."

"I'm not arguing with that." She shook her head. "You can, though."

"I'm good." He held up the bear, and she hurried over to accept it.

Denise returned to the kitchen, Noah leaned against the couch to watch Charlotte play, and Beth moaned softly in her sleep. It was a sleepy afternoon, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd sat through one of those. He felt like it had been in another life. He hoped that it wasn't. He hoped he could return home and deal with the sorrow his family felt at his and his father loss. He hoped...they could mourn together. It'd been so long. Were they really okay?

Now that he wasn't imprisoned anymore he had time to think about his family in other lights. When he was alone and being threatened or beaten by Dawn, he held them close and knew they would be there for him. But now that he wasn't alone, he worried. He worried, and it was consuming all the good thoughts and the joy he had. He didn't want the worst to happen, but what if it had? What was he going to do? What were any of them going to do? Was he welcome to stay? Wounded and broken as he was? Did he want to stay?

He blew out all the air from his lungs and closed his eyes to try and mull it over while he napped. He didn't want to go there right now. He didn't have the heart to go there, so...he wasn't. At dinner he would explore his options and the what ifs. Now was a time for rest and recovery. A sleepy afternoon.

Charli grunted and Noah was hit with the teddy bear, he blinked and narrowed his eyes at her, mouth opened slightly in insulted surprise, and she giggled at him.

– – –

"Where did you live?" Beth bit into the leftover chicken, having passed out before she could eat it, and it was delicious. It was flavorful and a little dry on the rewarm, but still so good, especially with the spinach. She missed Carol's cooking. Real food that didn't have a price was great, too.

"It's...far from here, but I have to go back. I have to be with them." He hadn't touched his food, trying to plead his case, and also his entire jaw was numb from the shot Denise had given him. He had to work to pronounce words and no drool on everything in front of him, but he wanted—no, he had to convey the importance of this trip and the use of these supplies. He didn't know them, but he knew Beth. If they were like her, they wouldn't hold this against him and make him their pet for this trip, but he still felt guilty. They just saved him, and now he was asking them to...go through that city once more and take him home. Carol just returned to her daughter, and he asking her to risk life and limb to travel miles away from her with no means of keeping contact. It was so much to ask, but he had to ask. "Please, I'm begging you." (It sounded like Charlotte trying to speak those words.)

"We'll leave in two days time in the afternoon, go through the city at night so we won't be detected by Grady's men. We have some spare supplies and water, and I've made some preservatives. We can take those with us." Carol spooned out spinach and sweet potato for Charlotte, who greedily reached for more. She was a veggie girl for sure. Appetite of her father. As long as it was eatable, she would eat it—and sometimes play in it. Mostly she wanted to feed herself, so it was little war over the spoon, but Carol hadn't cleaned off her spoon yet, so they would just have to struggle. She didn't trust Charlotte enough with a silver spoon. She might cut a tooth, and Carol didn't want that.

"Wait—seriously?!" His eyes were wider than Charlotte's mouth waiting for next spoonful, and there were tears against those chocolate orbs. "You—you'll take me home?"

"You brought me to Beth and medicine to my daughter. Of course I'll take you home." She met his eyes in all seriousness and smiled at him. "It's the least I can do. I hope you don't mind the wait. I need to be sure she'll get over this sickness before I go."

"Yeah, it's...it's fine. Two days, and...I'll be home..." It was unreal. He dreamt of his moment and now it had come. He was going to go home and see his family, see a home he never meant to leave behind. His eyes burned at the thought, though he didn't know if it was from joy or fear. Who knows what became of his home while he was away.

"Me, too." Beth nodded. "I'll go with you. We'll get you home."

"Just me." Carol licked spinach off her finger and reached for a cloth. "I need you here with Denise to keep an eye on Charlotte. I would've never left her to look for medicine if had any other choice, but I do now. You stay here with Charlotte and Denise, and I'll get Noah home."

She stammered but knew she was right. "Okay."

Charlotte looked at her mom and frowned. "You're leaving again?"

"Just for a little while, but I'll be back." She smoothed down her hair as her daughter frowned. "I promise."

"Pinkie promise," Charlotte corrected, holding up a hand. "Cause that's a promise you can't break."

"All right." Carol linked her pinkie with her daughter's. "Pinkie promise."

She licked her lips. "Good, now more yams, please."

"As you wish." She spooned out more and held it while Charlotte grabbed her hand and munched down, whining when Carol pulled the spoon back when more spoon than yam remained.

"Thank you." Noah rubbed at his eyes. "Thank you both so much."

"It's what we do." Beth set a hand on his shoulder. "We take care of our friends. Of our family."

"Family..."

"You're more honorary than anything, but yes." Carol chuckled at her daughter trying to clean herself off but only managing to get more on the floor than the napkin. "Be ready to leave by that afternoon, okay?"

"Yeah, I will be ready."

"And eat," Denise scolded. "You need the strength to heal."

"It's really good, too." Beth squeezed his shoulder. "You should enjoy your last meals with us."

"It won't be the last." He lifted his eyes to hers and set his hand on top of hers on his shoulder. "I'll see you again. Maybe...my whole family will be with me."

"I hope so."

"To Noah." Denise lifted her glass to the boy. "A safe journey for tomorrow's road and a hasty recovery."

"To Noah!" Beth grinned and held his hand.

Beth and Denise washed the dishes and talked, getting to know each other, and Noah went to bed early to rest while Carol finally had a bath. She wanted to soak her bones in hot ass water and forget Grady was even part of this world. She wanted to rejoice in being home and saving her daughter, but now she had to go out onto the road again. She wasn't sad or angry. She would deliver the boy to his home. She only hoped it wasn't in terrible shape. After all this time homes rarely stood, and if they did, they weren't what you remembered them to be.

– – –

_The prison was mostly rubble now, the damage done by the tank evident in every hall. She had to make her own entrance just to find her old cell block, and when she did, she saw nothing was the same. It'd been months since she was last here, and it felt like years. The walls were blacken from the flames, blood and bone in piles on the floor, unrecognizable bodies lying about. It wasn't a home any longer. It was a mass grave, and she was grave digging. But better her to take them than to let them rot unused._

_She'd already collected Judith's old things the last time she was here, finding some outfits and bottles well kept underneath Rick and Beth's beds. Though she did come across a couple half empty containers of formula that had yet to expire there as well. She found some toys and a couple teething rings still intact and took them. She hadn't thought of it the first time, only food and clothing, but Charlotte was a growing girl, and she'd need this items, so they were more on her mind now._

_She spotted the picture of Lori, Rick and Carl in the boy's room, entering with a silent excuse me and collecting it from where it rested. She wiped the dust off it and smiled at the happy face looking up at her. She closed her eyes and held it to her chest, missing her first best friend dearly. She would give anything to see her one more time, and while it wasn't how she wanted it, it was a gift nonetheless. She would have Lori with her in memory and photo as well as her boys, even if Carl and Rick were lost to her. She would carry their memory until...she died or they met again._

_She collected a few more things from the rooms—Hershel's bible, pillows from Michonne's room, all clothes that were salvageable, etc. She found some food still in the pantry, though some had been cracked open by the crumbled ceiling and filled the trunk with them. She moved with hasty as the sun wouldn't be in the sky forever. She had to get back. She couldn't leave Denise alone with a three month old. She didn't want to risk who might come across the grove. Not while she was away._

_She climbed up the half broken stairs and looked in Daryl's old room. It was...the same as before, though darkened and dusty. Her eyes burned as she entered the room and set a hand on the bed. She missed him more than anybody. He was always the one to stand by her, and now he was gone. He wasn't dead. The world wouldn't—couldn't kill a man like him or a woman like her. It had already tried to beat them down, and it only prepare them for the fall. He was still out there and...continuing on with their family or without them. She would know one day she might meet him. She hoped, if the world was kind enough._

_She set her hand on the bars and felt her blood tingle at the memories it invoked. Laughter—true, genuine laughter—from that beautiful man, teasing and training. Trust. Respect. Love. A bond that couldn't be broken, a bond that was like nothing she'd ever felt before, and a love she didn't know could be so potent and seem truly everlasting. A love that would extend to her daughter, to her precious, precious Charlotte._

_Opening her eyes as tears fell free, she removed her hand and left. It hurt too much to linger, and there was nothing left for her there. This place was a ruin, and she wasn't going to get caught in it any longer. Her tears belonged to an old life; a life she had been ejected from, never to be invited back._

_It began to rain as Carol climbed into her car and drove away. She wouldn't come back. She wouldn't even look back. It was in the past now, and Denise and her daughter were the future. Forward was the only way to go now._

– –

Beth strolled down the hall with a glass of water, the moonlight shining in through the windows, and she sat down on the floor beside her bed drinking from the cup and setting it beside her. She pulled her legs in, hair falling down over her shoulders, and she gathered it up to braid it in two equal length pigtails. It had grown long since her stay at Grady, reaching halfway down her back, and she was tempted to cut it. She didn't need hair this long.

She gripped the pair of scissors she'd taken from the kitchen and counted the curves on the braids, snipping them off so that her hair was at shoulder length. She tossed the braided excess to the floor and gazed the scissors, tilting her head to the side and recalling the last time she held a pair of sliver scissors. She was going to kill Edwards. She didn't know why she thought those flimsy little scissors were going to do anything. It was an impulse of a child, and she outgrew it quickly. After trying to escape, she had no choice but to put it away. She needed to build an alliance. She used those people to get what she needed, knowing she would never pay them back, and now she was free. Miles away from the eyes and hands of Gorman, out of reach from Dawn and her fists, in the shadowed thoughts of everyone she owed. She was a figment to them now, and as happy as that should have made her, it didn't.

The scissors clattered to the floor as soft cries emerged from the hall, she placed a hand on the floor to stand when Carol walked by with the girl in her arms, and she froze. She was still so used to reacting to Judith's cries. She thought after three years she would be used to the lack of cries, but no. She still wanted to take the girl from Rick and hush her tears. She thought of her sort of as her own child. It was a nice way to play pretend. She locked that away when the first five months passed, and she was trapped at Grady with all the others. She'd locked so much away...

She exhaled and lowered herself down back, covering her face with her hands, the tightly formed cropped braids loosening and unwinding. She exhaled deeply and dropped her hands, looking at the wall before her, vision blurring as she came to realize that everything she had before—everything that could have been—was gone. All of it, possibly forever, was gone.

There was a knock on the door frame, bare feet entered the room and something warm landed in her lap. It was a blanket, her braids swept away by feet, and an arm wrapped around her shoulders, a hand fully loosening braids by fingers gently brushing through her hair. Beth closed her eyes at the feel of hands in her hair as Maggie and Ma used to do, little hands touched her face, and tears fell free once more. Her hand gripped her shoulder now, lips kissed her temple, and she shuddered.

"She wanted to see you." Carol rested her head on Beth's. "And I wanted to check on you."

"I thought...so many things about my escape from that hell," she murmured, "and not one is really possible now that I'm free. Coming to terms with that...feels like dyin'."

"I know exactly how you feel." She squeezed her shoulder. "I'm here for you, Beth. We all are. I love you, and I am always here for you. I promise."

She whimpered, though a smile played on her lips. "I know. Thank you."

"No, thank you for staying alive out there and for saving Noah and me and Charlotte. We couldn't have done any of it without you, so thank you."

She opened her eyes to Charlotte staring at her with big, glossy eyes, and she jolted when something wet and cold smacked against her chin. She frowned when Charlotte began to giggle, a wet sheen on her lips, and Beth couldn't help but smile wider at her precious giggle, despite the lovely splatter of spit on her chin.

"Sorry, she's gotten into spit bubbles. I blame Denise."

"It's okay." She wiped her chin. "I needed to hear something good, and nothin' better than a baby's laugh."

"Gimme a hug." Charlotte held her arms out. "You'll feel better after a hug."

"Oh, all right then." She carefully picked Charlotte up and held her tightly, the subtle scent of soap and Carol's personal scent flooded her nose. She set a hand on the back of her head, soft hairs spilling through the gasp between her fingers, and she leaned against Carol's shoulder. Wrapped by love and family, her tears slowed. Though her heart was still aching, still broken and forever incomplete, she would be able to stand and live and be okay again. Perhaps be even stronger for it. Precious few family remained, and she wouldn't let anything happen to them. She would keep them alive and standing and happy until they naturally passed, but until that day came she would fight—for them, for this defenseless baby girl and for herself. She was no coward, and she would fight—had to fight. They would be all right. She was sure of it.

Carol kissed her forehead once more, Beth smiled, and Charlotte rested her head on Beth's chest. There was a peace in the silent, love in the warmth of their bodies and the blanket, and sleep came easy. Carol watched over her girls and knew it would be a long road of recovery and questions, but she would be there to answer and comfort. After so long alone...she wouldn't let them flounder. She needed Denise when she thought she could survive alone, and the world proved her wrong. When she thought she could handle being alone again and never going back, never seeing any of them or having any part of being with them, she found out she was pregnant. A forever piece of her family, of a man she still dearly loved. And when she thought she was okay with not knowing, the world brought Beth back to her. It wasn't everyone, but it was enough. Just one more piece of the past, of her heart, was enough. She would protect them and raise them and guide them through this life until she was spent. She would never leave them, simply...would not longer be seen. Once she had passed, she would become an emotion. Felt and needed and always there. Always.

––

Carol and Charlotte picked flowers outside while Beth and Denise held Noah down for emergency tooth extractions as he woke up looking like a plum and couldn't even eat. She wanted no part of it, and Beth could hold him. Plus, with the meds, he wouldn't feel much. It was just a precaution, and Carol had her own little precaution to worry about. She and Charli had missed some training sessions, so she had to make those up.

"What is this, Charli?" She held up a yellow daisy. "What is this?"

"Fower." She ran over. "It's really pretty."

"Yeah, it is. And it's flower. Flo-wer. Can you can that?"

"F...fower." She grabbed it from her mom and met her eyes. "Fo...wer."

"Laa. Say La."

"Aa."

"You're just pretending you can't say L. You seriously just said it last night." She narrowed her eyes. "You little stinker."

"You're stinker-er." She looked up at her with bright eyes. "You are!"

"Oh, well, I can say L. Flower. Lair. Listen. Little stinky bug!" She caught her sides and tickled her, Charlotte squealed and laughed, jerking away from her mom and trying to escape. "Rarrrw." Carol carefully tackled her into the grass, tickling her belly and keeping her from trying to escape. She laughed when Charlotte tried to kick at her, but her little legs were to slow to stop Carol. She could run away, but apparently it was so much effort to kick vertically.

"Mommy is mean," Charlotte pronounced when Carol let up, looking down at her with a smile. "Meanie beanie!"

"I am, and I try. I try so hard, thank you for noticing. I am the evilest." She pinched her cheek.

"You...are not wecome." She crossed her arms. "Not wecome!"

"Oh, I'm not? But it's so inviting." She tickled her fingers cross her belly. "It's a plump little belly, and I'm hungry." She pulled her shirt and blew raspberries, making her shriek with laughter, and Carol laughed with her.

"Balanced work." Beth came off the porch, hands on her hips. "I just had to hold down a nineteen year old who thought I was a bear. He hits hard, by the way."

"He hit you?" She sat up.

"Shoved, but he thought I was a bear. A blond bear." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "I'm missin' some fun."

"Daily lesson. We got sidetracked." Carol normally had Charlotte practice where to go and how to hide should walkers get through the fence, but the flowers were lovely today. It couldn't be helped, but she really did need to be sure Charlotte remembered.

"Sidetracked," Charlotte repeated, nodding her head, still lying on the ground with her belly exposed and patting it. "By the berries."

"What?" Beth laughed and sat down with them. "The berries?"

"Yeah, she's like an echo from two weeks past." Carol tugged her shirt down, Charlotte fussed and kicked at her. "Hey, don't. We talked about this."

"No!"

"So bossy." Beth picked her up and sat her upright. "You respect your mom, young lady. Or no berries."

"But...but my berries." She frowned. "Mommy, my berries!"

"Well, you heard her." Carol picked blades of grass off her shirt. "Bad girls don't get berries."

"But...you get berries, too."

"Oh-hoo." Beth laughed at Carol's expression and let Charlotte into her arms when he saw the expression and felt the need to flee, because it was a new one. To both girls. "You just got told by a three year old. How does that feel?"

"Like I'm going to have a terrible time in a some odd months when she's four." Carol flicked grass at her. "I knew you were a stinker."

"You stinker-er," Charli shot back, sticking her tongue out at her mother. "You are."

"See the abuse I put up with?" Carol tucked hair behind her ear. "Such a brat. I have no clue where she gets it from."

"Probably her dad." Beth saw Carol's smile shrink, and she stammered. "I—I really didn't mean nothin' by it. It...just slipped out."

"It's okay." She picked up the yellow daisy and dangled it over Beth's nose, and she laughed, almost sneezing. "I need a shower. It's Ls today. Yellow, flower, lilly. Leaves. She can do it, but she won't."

"Ooh, a brat and a faker." Beth accepted the flower. "I can crack this one."

"Good, because Mom needs a break." She kissed the top of her head. "Her lunch is in a few minutes, but she will definitely let you know."

"Okay, thanks."

"Mommy." Charli fussed. "No, don't go."

"I'll be back later, baby. I need a bath. I'm itchy from the grass. Beth will take good care of you. I promise." She lowered her eyes, and Carol kissed her cheek. "Be a good girl." She headed inside to clean herself up.

"I'm family, Charli. I promise you'll come to love me. I love you."

"Love," she repeated. "I...love my mommy. I want her to laugh, 'cause she's sad. I don't want that. I love my mommy so much. Big time."

"Big love, huh? That's huge." She waved the flower above her line of sight, and Charlotte reached for it. "Big time love. Don't lose it, okay?"

"Big time." She gripped Beth's hand and exhaled. "Love."

"Ye—Hey! You said L!" She beamed. "You do know how to say it. You little devil."

"You devil!" She grinned, showing off her teeth.

"Yeah, me devil, too." She let her have the flower. "Maybe that's why everythin' happened the way it did." If she had tried to escape sooner, she could may have been able to catch up with her family. She didn't muster up enough courage, and they closed ranks on them for three years. She should have been braver. She hid behind Dawn for the longest time, and it only earned her scars and hatred. She wanted neither.

"Aggie."

"Huh?" Beth blinked and looked at the girl who wasn't in her arms anymore. "Hey, you get back here."

"Aggie." She turned to face Beth, holding the flower in both hands. "She says hi."

"What?" Beth approached her, finding pink flowers blooming all around Charli, and her heart stopped, seeing the marker. "Charli—"

"Big time love." She threw her arms out and fell down onto the ground. "Here. All here."

Her eyes burned, and she lowered herself down in front of here. "Here?" She touched the ground, and Charlotte nodded. "Daddy..."

"Doodle..." She patted the ground. "Doodle."

She whimpered. "Charlotte, stop, please."

"Bug!" She jumped up and smiled. "Bug!"

"I said stop." The words caught on her throat and came out as a whisper, tears rolling down her cheeks, and she shook her head. "Don't say that."

She walked over to Beth and hugged her. "No, don't cry. Don't cry. I wanted you to laugh."

She inhaled through shaky lungs and wrapped her arms around the girl. "Daddy." She didn't know if this was just some game the girl was playing, or if somehow she knew how precious what rested below was. She didn't know if it was God or just her snapping from her losses, but she was...happy. It felt like a knife to the heart, but it was better to remember than to forget. At least with pain his smile lived on.

––

Inside the house Carol drew a bath, Noah was out cold in his bedroom, and Denise was discarding the broken teeth. She wrapped up some gauze for him, replacing the one she'd put in a few moments ago, and she checked for any other cracked teeth, but he was good. Thankfully. She did not sign on to be a dentist. Also pilars were awful. She hoped they got all the shattered remains out...

Carol locked the door to the bathroom, the warm water enticing, and she set her clothes on the counter folded and exhaled, rubbing her neck. She stepped into the tub and relaxed. She didn't need to bathe, but she wanted a moment away from everyone. All this talk about Charlotte and who her dad might be. It sting like the gunshot to her hip, but it also reminded her of what she missed. The laughter, the teasing, the kisses, the joy of being alone together.

She ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes, smiling fondly to herself and propping her leg up on the side of the tub. Her smile vanished as her teeth clenched, her fingers pumping inside of herself, almost feeling his hand cupping her breast while he took her from behind...

––

" _We have to be quiet." These words were barely audible as their breathing had taken up the remaining space of the room. Loud, airy, hot. It difficult to stifle. It'd been a long week and a half since they had seen each other, what with their respective duties and chores and such. He volunteered for a run, and she hadn't seen him until a few hours ago. They both wanted to make the most of it. They needed to. "Sshh."_

" _Damn place echos," he murmured against her lips, gathering up the hem of her shirt, having already removed the cardigan she wore and discarded it. "I swear you put on more layers just to fuck with me."_

_She chuckled. "Maybe so."_

" _You're a cruel woman."_

" _I try."_

_He kissed her deeply, taking her breath away and pulling her up against his body and sliding his hands underneath her top to undo her bra._

" _Wait." She stilled his hands and used her hips to push him back so she was no longer trapped by his arm. A pleasant trap, but she had plans. "I have an idea."_

" _Glenn and Mags are already in the tower."_

" _No." She searched his eyes and smirked seductively, weaving her fingers through his on her stomach and kissing him once lightly. "Take your pants off."_

" _We did that last time," he reminded her, pulling her back into his arms and keeping her close, kissing the tip of her nose and murmuring so softly, "I want to be inside you. It's the only way I know I'm really home."_

_She smiled at him, teeth running across her bottom lip, and she stepped back. Plan A it was. The agonizingly slow yet exceedingly pleasing route it was."C'mere."_

" _Where here?" He swiped her cardigan and kept a hold of her hand as she guided him out of the room. He knew nobody was awake at this hour, so he didn't feel discouraged from wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her neck. She swatted at him to stop, but he didn't want to. He wanted to take her right there in the middle of the hallway, bury himself so deeply inside of her that he forget he was ever a single being and losing ever single cell of sanity with her until they were both spent. And then some._

_She had him wait while she grabbed a few spare blankets from the kitchen and escorted him away from the used cell blocks and towards cell block A. He nearly commented on it until she pulled him into the visitation room and closed the door behind them, spreading the blankets out onto the floor. She bent down and adjusted the corners, undoing her boots as well and stepping out of them, watching him watch her closely._

_She moved to the middle of the blankets and placed her hands on her hips, pushing down the slightly over sized cargo pants she wore, revealing only inches of the soft curves there. She wasn't alone long. She giggled as his boots flew to either side of the room, his hands caressing the exposed flesh while his mouth claimed hers feverishly, his tongue stroking hers. Her giggles were lost at the dizzying traces of his hands and his tongue, her hand grasped his cheek while the other found his hand and guided it by the waistline of her lower garments._

_His hand was strong and large and warm in hers, overlapping perfectly as they found the damp core between her thighs. She knew he needed no aid in this area, but sometimes he wanted permission, and she loved that. It did more to weaken her knees than most anything he ever said. She removed her hand from his and wrapped it around his neck, his fingers slipping inside of her delicately. She felt air flee her entirely body at the feel of his fingers massaging their way to her very familiar sweet spot, and her nails dug into his neck, her thighs inadvertently tightening around his wrist._

_She moaned and rested her forehead against his, her body instantly welcoming him deeper. Her body would settle for nothing less than him these days. She had tried to sate herself a few times while he was gone, but it was nothing like this. She couldn't believe someone else could know and please her body better than herself. Heh, maybe it was just how much she cared about him that made it so intense. Or maybe he had been thinking about this as much as she had. Practice did work in their favor._

" _I..." She pulled him closer, her lips parting soundlessly as his fingers stroked her so sweetly, wasting no movement, and she squeezed her eyes even tighter as her lungs collapsed from the pleasure. Her legs nearly folded underneath her when another finger extended to the other entrance within reach. Her walls clenched down on his hand, a wet heat flooding over his palm and her panties, and he wrapped his other arm around her back to support her weight._

_He kissed the bridge of her nose down to the tip as she slowly returned to him, his fingers still stroking her gently, and her fingers gripped his shirt loosely. He removed his hand from her pants, her eyes opened again, and he smirked at her, licking his fingers, sucking loudly as he pulled them out, letting the sound smack against his lips. He let his hand drift to her hip once he was done, tracing his tongue over his bottom lip before crushing his mouth against hers once more._

_Their clothes were hastily removed. One wouldn't think it was possible with all the layers Carol wore on a daily basis, and he was no better, but they had gotten used to taking off layer after layer. They had gotten used to a lot of things, were comfortable around each other in all ways now, and nothing was too embarrassing to ask. Like how Carol liked to have him on top sometimes. She liked to have his weight on her. It felt...wonderful to have him thrust deep inside of her while pinning her with his muscled torso, his mouth cursing softly by her ear as their bodies fell into sync. Well, their bodies and Carol teasing his nipples, which he didn't think he'd ever like, fucking hell it made him nearly come to have her teeth around such a sensitive area._

_Her delicate hands splayed out on the cold, cement floor, sweat forming on her back at the heat of Georgia summer, the heat of their bodies and the stuffy room, and she cried out as when he plunged back inside of her. He was no quieter, hands gripping her hips so tightly he knew he'd likely bruised them, and he hissed when she pushed back against him, her perfect ass aligning with his hips. He couldn't take much more of it._

" _C'mere," he growled, pounding into her, and she raised up, his hands wrapped around her. He kissed her neck, his hands finding her breasts, kneading them, rolling her nipple between his thumb and index finger, nibbling down her neck and shoulder, following the path of her freckles._

_She lifted an arm to reach around and grasp strands of his hair, the other gliding down her body. She purred hungrily at the sensation of his hands and hers and him taking her from behind. She reached inside, lips parting at the contact of her sensitive and damp folds, pushing onward to the neglected pearl that ached for more._

_He murmured her name over and over by her ear, sweet nothings following, and she found herself quaking and tightening and free-falling._

" _Aah!" She gasped sharply as her lungs clenched, her body going numb momentarily as white spots filled her vision and her body sang at completion, the entire world fading out as a honey pleasure and bubbling florals coursed through her veins. She was boneless, formless, floating. His name echoed around them._

_They fell onto the blankets, bodies still connected, and he wrapped his arms around her, chuckling happily and ignoring her squirming._

" _What?" He brushed his lips over her cheek. "You want me out?"_

" _I do, actually." She turned her head to the side to look at him, and he sighed, withdrawing himself carefully and tossing the condom aside. She instantly moved for a bag by the table and pulled out a bottle of water. "It's hot, but I don't even care."_

" _Easy." He guided her back against him and accepted the bottle from her. "Shit, might as well be ice cold."_

" _We should probably stock up next time." She rested her head on his shoulder. "I only brought one bottle."_

" _Guess we should share." He drank more from the bottle, she lightly pinched his chest as a sign for him to share, and he leaned down, kissing her and filling her mouth with both water and his tongue. It wasn't the first time he'd done it, but it went smoothly. The first time they both nearly choked. It did end with laughter though. Most things did with him._

" _Mmm." She wiped water from his mouth and smiled at him. "I missed you."_

" _I missed you." He set the bottle down beside them and held her closer. "We need to go on another run together."_

" _I could barely walk back through the gates, if you recall."_

_He smirked. "Just means it a good run."_

_She rolled her eyes and laughed. "We'll see. I do miss this part of it."_

" _Yeah." He moved hair from her forehead and searched her eyes. "Best part sometimes. Anybody gonna find us in here?"_

" _Not for a few hours."_

" _Good." He kissed her softly, bringing her thigh over his, and she wrapped her arms around his neck when he rolled onto his back. She adjusted herself on top of him, and he caressed her hip. "We got days to make up for."_

" _We do." She traced her tongue along his bottom lip and caught his chin. "You up for this, though?"_

_He laughed. "You seen yourself? Shit, I can barely contain myself."_

" _Good answer." She seized his mouth, pushing shaggy hair back and tugging on it rough enough to pull his head back but not enough to hurt him. She broke the kiss to trail kisses down his neck, he knew instantly what her plan was, and he whined at her lips closing around his nipple. She felt him hardening against her thigh, and she tugged gently with her teeth, his moan shooting through her spine delightfully. She lifted her lips from his chest and kissed his chin, his eyes opened, and she found only love there. Well, arousal, too, but mostly love. Her favorite part of all of it._

––

"You're in a good mood." Denise set a bowl of steamed carrots and peas on the table, noting the smile on Carol's lips, and she eyed her. "Did I miss something?"

"No. I'm just happy to have Beth back." She bit into a strawberry leftover from the dessert she'd made. "It's worth celebrating to have my daughter back in good health and Beth back. It's... a good day."

"That's true." She leaned against the counter. "You ready to make that trip to Virginia?"

"Ready or not doesn't matter. He helped save them, so I'll get him home."

"I hope it goes well. With how long its been..." She exhaled. "It's a long shot."

"It's worse, but who knows? Beth survived. His family might have, too. People can surprise you. The world can...kind."

"Okay, someone had a good bath. I wonder why." She smirked knowingly at her, and Carol rolled her eyes. "Thinking about him again?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Was he really that good? I mean, it's been over three years, and it's always him, right?"

"There was only ever him." She picked up the pan of venison and carried it over to the table. "Help me set up this table, please."

"Okay, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

"About the hours of sex we had in prison?" Carol crossed her arms. "Or how often we ran out of lube?"

She laughed. "Whoa, whoa, let's not actually. I'm good."

"So was he. Especially with his hands." She smirked and wriggled her fingers.

"You're disgusting right now. You're embarrassing my hard work here." She held up her yams. "I spent months nuturing them."

"I'm sorry, but his hard work left me unable to walk, so—"

"I walked into that." She laughed, and Carol smiled softly. "God, fine, you do you, and I—am going to put my face in the oven."

She busted out laughing, and Denise joined her, stumbling back into the wall. It was moments like these that it hurt less that he wasn't there. That reassuring, hidden smile, his strong hand on her hip to walk beside her, his entire being. She missed him and loved him and mourned him all at once, but she had their daughter to raise, so there was no time for sorrow. Pleasure and happy memories to reflect on, but not sorrow.

– – –

Beth embraced Noah goodbye, encouraging him on the trip ahead, and Denise hugged Carol and assured her Charlotte would be fine. Carol knew she would be. She wasn't worried. She had a long talk with her in the bath last night, and while Charli only splashed soap suds at her, it was a good talk. She was ready for the road ahead, whatever it might bring, and she would be there for Noah if the worst were to occur.

"Come home soon and safe." Beth released Carol. "We'll be waiting for you."

"I'll be sure we're both safe," Carol assured her. "Whatever happens, he'll get back to his family."

"I know you'll get him there." She inhaled deeply and placed her hands in her hips. "And you should know I figured it out."

"Figured what out?" Carol eyed the young woman. "Beth, no digging."

"I didn't have to dig. I know who Charlotte's father is. I should have gotten it a lot sooner." She laughed softly. "He was really the only one, wasn't he?"

She heaved a sigh. "I don't know who you're talking about, but stop. I have to go, and it isn't a concern who fathered my child. He isn't here anymore. I am. It only hurts, Beth."

Her smile shrank away, and she hugged her once more. "I'm sorry."

"It's not on you, and it's not on me. It simply is, and we'll make due with that truth. Watch my daughter and protect each other. Don't be sorry. Be the woman I know you are and secure this place. I'll be back before you know it."

"Right." She squeezed her once more, her heart aching at the thought of Carol in emotional agony, and she let her go. "See you soon."

Carol met Noah by the car, ensuring he had medicine for his recovery and gauze for his gum that refused to stop bleeding after an incident with a strawberry seed. Little bastard. He couldn't get through dessert after that, and Carol apologized, but he was okay. It was a good meal, and he would do it again. Carefully, but still. It was rough. He had to be drugged for the removal, and when he woke up, he was drooling and bleeding. It wasn't the best time for a trip, but they had days between there and home. He'd recover a bit in the time between the teeth removal and now, and once it healed, the pain would be a distant memory. Until then she had to be sure he took meds for any ongoing pain and didn't swallow the gauze in his mouth to soak up any remaining blood from the incident last night. Hopefully he wouldn't have gauze mouth when his saw his family again.

"You ready?"

He nodded.

"Let's get going then."


	3. Black To Red

The open road wasn't as peaceful as it should have been. It was filled with walkers and discarded cars, which were nice for spare gas, but they did get in the way now and then. It was damn good they had a path already prepared for them, and that Noah had found a useful map in the grove. It was a two day trip from here to his home, and Carol was planning on making it two and half on the way there, just he could rest up and heal a bit longer before he saw his family. He wasn't a total mess, but no mother should see her son with a broken arm, a sprain wrist and missing teeth. Not all at once anyway.

Noah was out cold due to the medicine, and Carol enjoyed the quiet. It allowed her to think and plan. She knew the layout to Noah's home as he'd drawn it out for her as best he could, and she knew it was easy to hit. Too many trees too close by. Anyone could hide out in there and slip in at night to kill them. There were no towers, no real shifts, and Carol knew they weren't looking at a simple drop off, but she wanted him to have hope. She wanted to have hope too, not just cold logic. She would wait and see what this home had in store for them. Until then...she was going to borrow some of his hope and keep on driving.

Hours melted by as she drove further and further away from the grove, and her mind began to slip into memories to keep the boredom away. Her eyes alert and aware of both the road and the walker movement in the dark.

– – –

" _Who's there?" she demanded, one hand on her stomach as she lifted her gun to the bushes that had shifted. "Come out."_

" _Hey, hey, hey." It was a blonde woman, and from the look of her she had a comfortable spot somewhere. She had clean clothes and more meat on her bones than most. She had a soft face, but faces could lie, especially ones that were soft. She wasn't going to lower her guard for her or anybody else that was associated with her._

" _I—I'm not...whoa." Her eyes fell to the bump the woman held, her gun cocked, and she made eye contact. "Trouble. I—I'm Denise. I was just...looking for some water. I thought...I heard the river a while back, but...I think I am or was hallucinating."_

" _What makes you think I have water? Or would share?"_

" _I have food. It'll be good for the baby." She also was lying. She'd seen the woman wondering the land and collecting peaches a while ago. She wanted to help her. She'd searched for her, and she found her, but maybe there was a better approach than this. It was too late to change it, so she would have to work the charm. God, she hoped she even had charm at this point._

_She narrowed her eyes. "Okay." She didn't lower her gun, but she did pull a water bottle from her bag. "The food first."_

" _Here." She pulled a container out of her bag. "These are oat cakes with honey and apple. They're health and full of protein. It'll be good for the baby."_

" _You try one first. Eat it, and I'll give you the water."_

" _I—I would never try to hurt—"_

" _Eat one," she demanded. "Go on."_

_She huffed but opened the container and bit into the cake. "See? It's...hot from the heat and sticky, but it's good. It's...uh, safe." She chewed with much effort. "Very sticky." Her teeth were almost glued together by the honey and the heat working against her chewing efforts._

_Carol almost laughed at that and handed her the water. "It's cold."_

" _Thanks." She handed the container over and accepted the water, drinking it. "Oh, that's good."_

_She nodded and placed the container into her bag, walking off._

" _Hey, wait. Where are you going?"_

" _Nowhere you can follow."_

_We'll see about that. She was more determined than ever to get that woman back to her camp. It was safe, and it'd be better for her and the baby. And honestly, for Denise, too. She wouldn't have to be alone anymore, and she could help her through labor. She'd get her to come around. Somehow._

––

_Denise heard groaning and a hissing voice. She followed it, seeing the pregnant woman on the ground with blood on her hip, and there was another prick there with a gun. He had taken her by surprise. He was going to kill her. Pregnant or not, he was going to take her life—their lives—and continue on with his like nothing had happened. Like it wasn't the most disgusting and vile and evil action a person could commit._

_Her gun fired before her mind realized what she'd done, Carol looked over and found the smoking gun in the hand of the woman she'd met in the woods days ago. She gripped her hip and tried to speak, but she couldn't think of what words to use as blood ran down her leg and stuck to her fingers._

" _Hold on." She hurried to her side. "I'm a doctor. Well, sort of. It's complicated, but I can help you."_

" _Can you help my baby?" Carol wheezed. "Just save my baby, please."_

" _I'll save you both. Here, give me your arm. Lean on me. I have a place we can go."_

_It was a challenge to get to the car the woman had hidden in the woods, especially when her words slurred, but she managed. The woman was in and out of consciousness, her blood loss only increasing, and Denise booked it back to the grove. She parked the car and unlocked the front door, going back for the woman who was out cold at this point. She took her to the first bedroom and removed her shoes and pants, using towels to slow the bleeding while she fetched her medical kit. It wasn't much, but it was enough to save her. She just hoped the wound wasn't too deep. And it thankfully was through and through. It just bleed a lot from the movement. Thank God._

_Denise patched her up as best she could, but the woman had lost a lot of blood from the hauling and heaving to the car and into the house. Denise had no idea what this shock could do to damage the baby. She didn't feel anything moving when she touched the firm bump, and she wanted to cry. She sat by her bedside and willed that baby to move, willed this woman to sit up and give her her name. She willed and willed for days, but there was nothing from either person before her, and her own will was wearing thin. She had no hope, only will, and that was almost gone, so what more could she do here? What more, goddamn it?! Please, survive._

_By the eight day the woman woke, Denise had brought soup to try and force it down her throat again for the baby's health, and she was sitting up, coughing at a dry throat and holding her stomach. Denise saw a hand press against her belly and nearly dropped the soup. She didn't know if that was the baby or...the dead baby._

" _Easy, don't move." She set the soup down on the nightstand and stilled her movement. "You're still injured, and that wound has put a lot of stress on you and the baby."_

" _You..." She strained, head barely kept up, eyelids drooping. "My...baby..."_

" _Here, drink some of this." She lifted a bottle of water to her lips. "Slow._

_She drankly deeply, nearly choking on the cool water, and Denise eased it back to avoid it. She let the woman consume the entire bottle and sat beside her with the soup, offering it to her, but she wasn't so sure of Denise._

" _It's canned from the items in your pack. I...don't have any liquids." She lowered the bowl. "I won't hurt you or your child. I want to help. I have helped. You would have died out there. Both of you."_

" _Why help me? I'm a stranger, a liability. Once this kid is born, it's a walker magnet. Babies cry just to cry most days. And that's if I or the baby survive birth." She studied the woman carefully._

" _I've been alone for months," Denise confessed. "I was with a group—a good group with walls and medicine and food—but...someone came and seized control. I...I barely made it out with my life. Some of the others weren't so lucky. Most people couldn't handle the world. They gave up or died or got lost along the way, and I had to learn to fend for myself or die. I was so scared, but I pushed through it. And I got lucky. I found this place. I heard you in the woods a couple nights ago. I followed you. I was curious, and now that I know you... I want to help. I can deliver your baby. I studied to be a doctor."_

" _Studied? Not are?"_

" _I had to switch majors for my own sake, but I know plenty. You need my help, and I... I don't want to be alone anymore, okay? I can't stand the silence."_

" _I'm not your savior."_

" _How about my friend then?"_

_She chuckled weakly. "You don't even know my name."_

" _What is your name then?"_

" _It's Carol."_

" _Well, I'm Denise Clyod. I know trust won't come easy. I can sense that, but you need to stay in bed and rest for the baby's sake. It's my doctor's opinion. How far along are you? Eight? Nine?"_

" _Nearly eight." She adjusted her back against the headboard. "A few weeks shy of eight."_

" _Then it's bit over two months of bed rest. This place doesn't see much activity, so rest easy. Eat. You need to put some weight on you. I have peaches and pecans for days, so don't worry about the supply." She stood up. "This isn't some creepy Misery type friendship, by the way. I really just want to help, and you're pregnant, so I have to try and do everything I can to help. It's the human thing to do, and I won't let that be erased."_

" _I wasn't thinking that—only what I'd owe you."_

" _Can you garden?" Denise mused. "I've tried, and everything keeps dying."_

_She chuckled. "Yeah, I can garden."_

" _Good. Owe me a garden." She laughed. "And we're square."_

" _Okay then, Denise." She searched her eyes. "But I have one more question for you."_

" _Shoot."_

" _Are you doing this because you trust me, or because I'm pregnant?" Her eyes narrowed at the young woman's gulp. "So, it's not for just me."_

" _I wanted to help you, because it's the decent thing to do," Denise corrected. "Yes, the pregnancy was incentive to hunt you down and help you, but mostly I did it because you're lost, just like me. We can help each other, support each other, and that's as necessary in this world as food and shelter."_

_She relaxed her view on the woman. "You're right. Thank you."_

" _No problem." She set her hand on the door frame on her way out. "Get some rest."_

_She didn't trust this woman, but she didn't feel anything off about her. She had a good sense of people, and this woman was authentic. She wasn't trying to use her or hurt or her manipulate her in any way. She was like Hershel. She just wanted to help. It was good to know there were people like this in the world. The world her child would be born into. It would be better to stay and see this through than to just roam the country side and hope she found a place to give birth. Hoped to find Daryl and the others. And at least if she died, someone would be there to take care of the baby._

– – –

_It took weeks for Carol and Denise to fully trust the other, but they both came around through checks up on the baby. Denise didn't know a whole lot about pregnancies, but she had plenty time to read while she was in her old camp. She knew this baby would be strong, a natural born survivor, and according to how the hard it kicked and how Carol's appetite grew, it would be a chunky little rebel. Carol laughed at her saying so, and she had a feeling the father might have been the same. She hoped to learn about him one day._

_Some days were better than others. Denise thought some outside time would be great for Carol, provided she didn't strain herself too much, and Denise showed her around slowly. She'd probably gotten the full view from her first month there. Denise didn't want to risk the baby, and Carol didn't want to leave her room that much. They compromised, and they had some nice talks outside on the porch and in the garden. Denise was able to salvage her current crops for the winter, and Carol helped her pickle most of it. They were a great team, and the baby seemed to really like Denise. Whenever she would speak, the baby shifted like it was trying to hear her better. It was sweet. It even kicked when Denise said good night, like it knew she was leaving for a few hours. It was adorable. Carol might tell her about it one day._

_When it began to get colder, Carol taught Denise how to track down animals. She couldn't fully roam the yard but she pointed out where chipmucks had been and made Denise figure out where they had gone, how to tell which prints were going where, and she picked up on it. Slowly, over the course of several lessons, but she did learn. Carol thought of Daryl during each lesson, even mentioned him when Denise asked how she learned all this, but she didn't mention more. It was too painful. To look for him for almost three months and finding nothing was near unbearable. He was alive. She knew he had to be, but he was truly gone from her. At least part of him would survive in her heart, and she would use what her taught her to aid this baby. Little Charlotte or DJ. She had the name Charlotte on the back burner for years, right after Sophia, because it was her mother's name, but she never had another baby. And she never had names for a boy, mostly due to Ed claiming the right to his son's name, so the best way to honor the amazing man she knew was give their son his name. Either one would be perfect._

_Carol felt good enough to unload her bags after almost two months, Denise helped, and they came across Glenn's camera. She gasped and demanded they take a picture together, and Carol loudly groaned, but she humored her. She took a picture of Carol in all her nine-months pregnant glory, wearing one of Daryl's or Rick's shirts and the sweat pants of whatever man or woman lived her before. She couldn't help but smile at her eagerness, and she scooted closer to take a picture together. They came out really great, actually, and Denise asked to keep the camera. Her heart broke at the request, and Denise must have seen it, because she laughed and said she was joking. Carol shook her head and let her keep it. Her family...no matter how much loved them and missed and prayed to find them...were gone. Denise and this baby were her family now, and they would make memories and record them. Like a family did. It'd be great. It'd be a future worth fighting for._

––

_Denise shot upright in bed at the sound of grunting and groaning, and she threw the covers off her legs, dashing down the hall to find Carol on the floor with heavy fluid around her. She gasped and dropped down beside her, Carol grabbed her hand and groaned as another contraction wrecked through her body, and Denise was close to having a full on panic attack. But Carol needed her to fucking not!_

" _Here, let's get you onto the bed." Denise helped her stand up._

" _No, I need to stand." She gasped and leaned against the wall. "I—I need to stand."_

" _Umm, okay. You're the...expert here. Uh, here, grip the frame. I'll be right back."_

_She dug her nails into the wood of the frame and screamed as the contractions grew stronger and closer together. Carol had been in labor for far longer than Denise was aware of, the bedding stained with blood and fluid and likely sweat. Carol had lost all color in her face and was gripping the frame mostly for support. She watched Denise buzz around the room to prepare what she thought she might need, and on her fifty trip out Carol caught her wrist and held her in place._

" _It's coming," she rasped. "Don't leave."_

" _Oh, God." The color drained from her face at those words, her eyes widening to almost impossible limits, but she nodded and steeled her resolve. She was ready for whatever happened or came out of her. She hoped._

_Carol stood with one hand on the wall, the other gripping the frame, her nightclothes and underwear stacked underneath her to catch the fluids, and Denise wasn't entire sure where fit into this but she was ready to...jump in. Or pass out, whichever happened first._

_Carol released a groan that escalated into a full on scream, Denise wanted to ask if she was okay, but she couldn't get words out at the fluid that dripped from her body as her scream increased. She stared with wide eyes at the sight before her, and realized those screams were fuel for pushing this child out of her. The more she screamed, the more power behind her pushes and soon the baby's head emerged._

" _Oh." Denise blinked at the grumpy little face sticking out of Carol. The face little face was purple and almost...like yellow, too, but that wasn't color. That would wash off. It was...yeah, it wasn't a beautiful process, but damn. Go Carol._

" _Aaaah!" She gasped in sharply and dug her nails deeper into the frame, the baby fussed between Carol's thighs, and Denise was partly awestruck and partly disgusted. "Come on, baby. Come on!" She screamed again and pushed even harder, gravity and her body working in tandem to rid her body of the child._

_Denise watched as more milky fluids dripped out around the baby's head, watched as it shoulders came out of Carol's body, and then in one quick, moist motion the baby fell free. Carol's hands were around its little shoulders as yellow and white fluids splashed onto the pile of clothes. Carol crouched down over them, baby in her arms, the cord around it leg, and Denise stumbled carefully around it to see the baby._

_It was this grumpy little purple thing in her arms that could have double as an uncooked chicken, but there it was. There she was. Small and silent and purple, breathing and gasping without sound. There she was. Ten fingers, ten toes, still looking like a messy uncooked chicken, but wow. She was amazing and real and right there._

_Carol sniffed and smiled down at the little girl. "I've been waiting to meet you, sweet girl."_

" _Oh, my God." Denise felt tears in her eyes. "Oh, my God."_

" _This is Denise. She saved us. She saved you." Carol laughed softly at the wriggling bundle in her arms, and sound came gently then. Fussing only at the new awakening. "Oh, I know. Your dad isn't a morning person either, though he pretends."_

" _I—I'll start a bath for her. Um, the sink's okay?"_

" _Yeah." Carol nodded._

" _Oh, here." She handed her scissors for the umbilical cord. "Could I?"_

" _Go ahead, and take her with you. I'm not quite done yet."_

" _Are you sure? I've never bathed a newborn. Or anything other than myself."_

" _I trust you." She smiled at her. "Support the head. It's easy."_

" _Okay." She snipped the cord where Carol instructed and rose to bath the child. "I'll be right back once I'm done."_

_Carol watched her leave with her daughter and inhaled to prepare to finish this out, but once it was over, she would hold her little girl and protect her from all harm. She would love her enough for mother and father, and should they meet again somewhere in the future, she would let Charlotte know to love him. To love him unconditionally and always, because he deserved to be loved like that, because that was how he loved. And he would love her the moment his eyes landed on her. If that happened, if they met, he would simply adore her. She just knew it._

––

_It'd been three days since little Charlotte entered their lives, and Denise was worried about Carol. She'd been right there after birth, breastfed her and everything, but the last two days Carol didn't want to see her that much, save for meals. She was terrified it was post-partum depression, because she didn't know how they'd handle it, but she'd wait a couple more days. If she didn't improve by then, Denise would talk to her and try and find a nearby solution. It was early fall by the leaves' color, and there was no chance of easily growing a natural herd to help lighten her mood, so she'd have to go outside. She didn't want to do that, especially if Carol was out of it. She'd just have to wait and hope this turned around._

_Later that night when Denise passed out after changing and feeding the baby, Carol adjusted herself on her bed with a pillow over her thighs with her baby resting there. She ran her eyes over Charlotte's little face and caught her fingers with her index finger and smiled lovingly at her sweet girl. Love flooded her heart, and she couldn't keep the tears back._

_She was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, with the same eyes as her mother, looking back at her with equal love and a toothless smile. She was the same natural skin tone as her father, having his beauty mark beside her mother's mouth and a light dusting of his chestnut hairs on her head. Her nose wasn't like either parents just yet, and Carol suspected she would get freckles just like Carol did when in the sun. She couldn't wait to find out who this little angel grew up to be._

" _Hey, you." Carol stroked her fingertips over her belly, Charlotte continued to grin at her, and Carol rubbed her thigh. "You're so happy. You're such a happy girl."_

_She was dressed today in a worn but soft purple sheep-covered onesie Carol had found before getting shot and dragged here. It fit her well, but Carol might have to cut up some of her pregnancy clothes as she grew. The thing was she mostly wore Daryl's clothes. It didn't make her sad to cut it, because it would be clothing this little one, and it'd be like Daryl was wrapping her up in his arms. It had no scent of him, but it was the closest outside influence of Daryl Carol could get. She knew he'd be so involved with this child. He'd love her so much, spoil her and raise her to survive. To survive and not lose herself to the darkness of his world._

_And Charli would adore him. Gosh, he'd spent a lot of time with her during her pregnancy, a voice Charlotte had to know by heart, and it'd feel like he was protecting her. Like how he used to protect Carol. Like how he wanted to protect Sophia. It warmed her heart to think about him that way. He wouldn't just be a memory. He'd be a part of this life with Denise and Charli, no matter where it lead them._

_On the downside, she would also have to make some cloth diapers out of his clothes, which would a pain to clean. But Carol couldn't go out runs while still healing, and Denise wasn't there yet. So, cloth diapers it was. That would make Daryl pout, to know Carol thought of him as a protector for Charli and also a shit collector. She almost laughed outright at the thought. Maybe some of Rick's shirts could be used too. It'd be fitting._

" _You aren't tired at all, are you?" She caught her little legs and jiggled them, making her smile even more. "Just like your dad. He's such a night owl. And if he were here, you'd never sleep. He'd be with you every second, and I'd let him, because he... he would do so great with you. He'd love you as much as I do, and he would show that to you every single day. You would never question that, and you would learn so many lessons from him. He would spoil you as best he could."_

_Charlotte fussed at the sorrow in her mother's eyes._

" _I miss him so much, but I have you to remember him by." She smoothed down her hairs and kissed her forehead. "And Denise. We're a family all our own, and you'll learn about your daddy. I don't know if you'll ever meet him in this life, but you'll know everything I know about him. I promise he won't be a mystery to you."_

_She scooped her up in her arms and kissed her head. "I love you more than anything in this life, Charlotte. I will keep you safe, and come whatever future we have, you will be able to protect herself and see this world into whatever fate it has. I promise. With everything I am, I promise."_

– – –

With thoughts of Charlotte came thoughts of her father, and Carol exhaled to try and keep from remembering, but memories of him weren't pick and choose. They came when they came, and she either smiled or cried. Today, she hoped to smile from them.

––

" _Hey, you're gonna miss breakfast," a husky voice whispered in her ear._

_A smile crossed her lips, and she opened her eyes to find him above her, golden light shining into the tower as the sun rose to greet them, the chill of winter sneaking in despite the heater in the corner. She stretched her body out, the blanket falling away from her as she lifted her arms above her head and moaned softly._

" _Well, we did miss dinner last night," she replied to him, completely aware of her upper body was visible and his eyes drinking her in. "But your chili was pretty good. Though we burned through it pretty quick."_

_He laughed under his breath at what exactly happened once the bowls were empty. Good thing it was a quiet night. "Yeah... the whole night was pretty good."_

" _Just "pretty good"?"_

" _Fishin' for compliments?"_

" _Not at all. You did that enough last night." She smirked at him, and he kissed her. "Kinda bruised my thigh, by the way."_

" _Sorry." He brushed his nose across hers and kissed the tip._

" _I'm not. It was worth it." She touched her fingertips to his lips and chuckled airily, biting her own bottom lip and studying his beautiful face in the fervent light._

" _It was, and you're right. It wasn't just good; it was amazing. The whole night. Hell, any night...with you." He cupped her cheek. "I love you, Carol."_

_Her heart fluttered as if she could feel his love spread throughout her body, and she sat up instantly, her face only inches from his. "I love you, too." She kissed his nose, he grinned and kissed hers back, and she stroked his cheek. "I will make you breakfast later."_

_He chuckled once more. "I like your cookin' more anyway." He leaned down and kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth and pushing her back against the blankets. He felt her leg wrap around his back, and he reached down to moved it back gently against the blankets._

_She broke their kiss to eye him. "What are you doing?"_

" _Shh." He held a finger to his lips. "Glenn and Maggie will be by in a few minutes."_

" _Then why did you kiss—?" She cut off when he kissed her one more then ripped the blankets away from her, his head dipping down to kiss her curves. She weaved her fingers through his hair and closed her eyes as butterflies fluttered in her stomach, and he parted her legs._

" _I know they'll be coming, but I won't take rushed work," she teased, whining at his tongue stroking against her softly, teasing her more than anything. She would have promised to keep quiet, but his tongue knew its way around, and he wasn't rushing anything._

––

" _Hey, Carol, wait." Daryl rushed over her, pardoning the people around them and joining her. "Heard you were gettin' sick earlier. You okay?" He studied her face to be sure it wasn't anything bad. The woman never got sick and all of sudden she was heard puking her guts up. It might be an hyperbole by one of the kids, but still he wanted to be sure._

" _Yeah, just...dizzy from the heat. I've been inside with the kids for so long, I think my body forgot how bad the direct Georgia sun could be." She waved it away and hugged herself. "I'm going to meet the girls in a few minutes. We're going to make more distractions for the walkers when we open the gates. It'll be a fun project."_

" _We already have so many."_

" _And I want to be prepared." She inhaled and walked over to the fence. "They keep piling up. I don't want any delays on ins or outs."_

" _That's true." He stood beside her. "I have to meet Tyreese to greet a few couple people Glenn found without me a couple days ago. I was out with Mags." She nodded in remembering, and he stepped close to ask, "You met 'em yet?"_

" _Yeah, there's Sara, Kahlee, Darren and Chuck, I think. They're nice. They've been here a few weeks. You've been busy with Michonne, so it's no surprise you haven't met them." She leaned back on the heels of her shoes. "Chuck is soft, and Darren is quite the flirt, but those women are capable. They already have shifts in the tower."_

" _Yeah, Mags mentioned that. And about the girls, too, but mostly Darren." He narrowed his eyes at her. "He uh, make a move on you? Or somethin'?"_

" _Hmm, or something? I mean, maybe, but why ask?" She peeked at him and laughed at his expression. "Are you jealous?"_

" _What? No, never, and that ain't an answer. If he bugs you, let me know. You shouldn't...have to be uncomfortable is all. This is your home first, and I ain't gonna let anybody try and make it...difficult to live here."_

" _Mmm, right." She stepped forward. "It's fine. I'm feeling a little warm now, so I'm going to go lie down before I meet the girls. This might be a little bug from staying out in the guard time too late at night. I'm trying to work on my aim, and I found a great teacher."_

" _Yeah?" He tried not to be bothered that she hadn't come to him for help. They'd gone out to learn and train and hunt after Andrea and Merle died, but she went to someone else for more. He wondered if he wasn't good enough, but he knew she didn't think that. She might simply learn better from the others. Like T-dog. He taught her while they were on the road, so maybe it was just a new perspective she sought._

" _Yeah. I...really am better at focusing with Sasha's help. Maggie and Glenn pitch in, too, but Sasha has a sniper's eye. It helps."_

" _Sure you ain't just avoidin' me?" He crossed his arms, annoyed with himself for letting that slip out. He'd been trying not to say anything, and he just went and blurted it out. Good fucking job. " I mean... It's just that ever since—"_

" _Hey, I'm not avoiding you, and I'm not interested in Darren. He can take a hint, and I have better things to do. I have the tower tonight, so I'm gonna try and rest now, but I'll talk to you in the morning. I think my dinner the other night affected my stomach. It's been on and off upset since."_

" _Want me to drop by and keep you company in the tower?"_

" _Tempting, but Mika is gonna be with me. She wants to see what it's like up there at night. I have to be sure Maggie and Glenn have cleaned it up since their tower shift. Wish me luck." She strolled towards the prison to go back to her room for a few hours before meeting the girls. She wanted the quiet, and if playing on this rumor got her quiet, she'd take it. Besides once her shift was over she'd be cuddled up in warm arms and the noise wouldn't matter._

– – –

Beth sat on the porch after they'd gone, Charlotte was beside her, playing with cloth blocks and making plenty of noise so Beth couldn't forget she was there. She hugged her knees to her chest and smiled at the sight of the little girl. She missed Judith dearly, and while she liked having Charlotte to look after, it was no replace for the little girl who won her heart years ago. She wondered what she looked like now. How big she was. She missed her so much, missed them all so much.

"I thought you could use some water." Denise handed her a glass and sat beside her on the steps. "You look pale. What's on your mind?"

"Never seeing my family again. My sister, my brother-in-law, a baby I used to look after. So many friends." She swallowed hard, a lump in her throat tightening at those words. "It's a truth I accepted once, but I thought we would find them. Like me and Daryl would be out there, and we'd stumble across Rick or Glenn or somebody, but now... It's been three years, and they're bound to be long gone by now."

She set a hand on her shoulder. "I know this is...well, impossible. I know what it's like, and it lessens with time. I know you don't want to hear that, and maybe you don't want that, because you think that means you love them or are thinking of them less, but it's the truth. Time doesn't heal wounds; it only allow you to grow and be able to live with them."

"I guess, but I had just became friends with Daryl three years ago. He's kinder than I knew, as brave as I thought, soft and thoughtful and firm, but he was broken. It's different than how I was broken, but we...made some sort of sense in that brokenness together. Now he's gone, and everything we built is gone. I made a friends with someone I love and consider family, and now..." She shuddered. "I told him he'd miss me when I was gone, and now I am gone from him, and him from me. Really foreshadowed that, huh?"

"Beth..."

"I can barely recall my last conversation with Maggie. Our home was burning, our dad dead, and we had to...separate to be sure everyone was on a bus to escape." She lifted her eyes and wiped the tears that fell. "I didn't get to say I love you or see you soon or be careful. She was just gone, run off to find her husband, I think. She trusted me to get on that bus, but I didn't. I had to be sure the kids were safe, and I ended up with Daryl. We ran away together, and we didn't look back. I couldn't, and he refused. He didn't do anythin' for a while, but I knew we were goin' through the same pain. He eventually broke down and let it out, and I think he made his peace with never seein' Carol or Rick again. I don't know how he did it. I know how he feels about them, he loves them more than anything. Rick is like his brother, and Carol... She might as well be his arm she means so much to him. He put it aside in a little box and made peace with it. I don't know how he did it, but he did it to survive. I need to do that now, but it's so hard. I mean... They're my whole world. Or...well, they were. I was never taught to box anythin' away. Daddy always told me to be honest and open, and..."

"I'm so sorry." It was all she could say. "Truly, I am."

"I wanted to be like him in my own way. He's not fearless but he can still carry on. He's smart and can track and can survive. I wanted to be like that, and he taught me how to track, even let me use his crossbow, but...I'm me. I can't be like him. I have to feel and go through it. I tried not to, but it's bullshit. It was childish. Feeling emotions is...the best part of being human, even when it hurts." She exhaled deeply and smiled a little. "I'm not gonna hide anymore."

"Good. No one should hide." She looked over at Charlotte to be sure she was still being nosy and good behind them. "Daryl sounds like a good guy. You must have been close."

"He was like an extra brother when we were on the road. Nicer than Shawn ever was." She giggled sadly and snuffly. "After a point anyway. After the prison... I'm sure we all had moments where we broke. We recovered though. I... I hope he stayed recovered after..."

"I'm sure he found his own way to survive. We all do." She stood up and gripped her shoulder before releasing it. "I'm going to check the area and get some water. If you need anything, just holler."

"I'll be fine, but thank you, Denise."

She lingered for a moment and met the girl's eyes. "You never know where life leads you, Beth. You may see Maggie again. And Daryl."

"I wanna see her more than anythin'." She laced her fingers together. "I want my sister back."

"I...know that pain, and it doesn't get easier, but who knows what tomorrow brings? We might die. Or we might find our families."

"Are you missing someone too?"

"Someone as important as my lungs, and I feel the weight of his absence with every breathe. When you're born with someone and then there suddenly gone...how else can you feel?" She tucked hair behind her ears and pulled out a smile. "But I guess I carry his soul with me, right? Twins and all."

"Right." Beth nodded and stood up, returning her smile. "Even when they're gone, they're here."

"Just not in the way we want them." She put her hands on her hips and stepped back towards the fence. "Get Charlotte inside, okay? Too much sun isn't good for her."

"Sure thing." Beth caught the small girl and held her, turning slightly towards the front door, but she stopped. She hesitated before she asked, "Did she ever talk about us?"

"She used to." Denise nodded her head and smiled fondly at the memories of Carol's face lighting up with laughter at memories—only to be swept away with that dreaded sorrow of knowing she might never see them again. "It helped Charlotte to sleep to hear stories of you guys, but...I think it was too much after a while. It set in that she wouldn't see you guys or...Charlotte's father again. She just stopped talking and started reading to her." At least when Denise was around. She couldn't say for her night time fits.

"Charlotte's father... Do you know who he is?"

"No. She never told me, but I have an idea. No name, but...an image. It doesn't help you in anyway, but if Carol wants you to know, she'll tell you."

"I know, but I was kinda hopin' to worm it outta you." She huffed softly and smoothed down baby fine hairs from Charlotte's head. "She looks just like her mama. It's impossible to tell."

"If you figure it out, let me know. I'm off. You two be safe, and try and keep her nose clean. She's a wanderer, and she's so damn nosy. In a very slick way."

"She's just a baby." Beth held her closer and tried not to laugh at Denise's accusation.

"Yeah, a sly baby. One minute she's beside you, the next she's down the hall, chewing on bullets you hid."

"Oh, wow. Was she okay?"

"Yeah, but Carol almost killed me."

"I'm not surprised. After Sophia, this girl should be in bubble wrap." She stroked her chubby cheek and caught the mild confusion in Denise's eyes. "You know about Sophia, right? Carol's first daughter?"

"Is she before Mika and Lizzie?"

"Um, yeah, she was Carol's blood daughter. Mika and Lizzie are adopted, I believe."

"Oh, right. She mentioned that. We...were drunk, I wanna say. I found a moonshine shed a while before I found Carol, and I thought I could use it for protection somewhere along the line. Anyway, after a long night I busted it out, and we just talked." It was months after Charli was born, and they just got hammered. It was great, though the hangover was a nightmare. They barely survived with a demanding baby and a couple walkers trying to cross the fence.

Beth blinked and jerked forward. "A—a shed? With moonshine?"

She nodded. "Carol is an interesting drunk."

"How long ago was it? Did you know Carol at the time? Was it still together?" She grabbed her arm and searched her eyes. "Did you see a fire?"

"It was way before I knew Carol, and yeah, actually. I did see a fire about two or three years ago. I had to deal with burnt walkers. It was...a waking nightmare. I'll never forget the smell. Or the sight." She gulped and pulled her arm free. "It was terrible."

Beth wrapped her limp arm around Charlotte and shook her head once. "We were so close..."

"To what?" She rubbed her wrist and looked the young woman over.

"To you, to her, to—this." She turned to face the house. "If we would have stayed put..."

"Noah never would have been saved," Denise finished, setting a supportive hand on her shoulder. "And Charlotte wouldn't have gotten medicine. If I had even ventured out as I had. With people here, she might have just died."

"But it's likely we found have found her. I mean, she wasn't too far, and there would be no way Daryl wouldn't have gotten her medicine..."

"And Noah?"

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't know, but if we could have gotten together, all of us with you and Carol...maybe we could have—" She stopped herself. "But that doesn't help us now."

"It doesn't."

"I better get her inside." She moved towards the house and smiled at Denise. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For taking care of her, of them. For helpin' Noah. I can't thank you enough, but thank you. Really."

"You're welcome, and with all Carol's given me, it was the least I could do."

They parted ways then, Beth put Charlotte inside for some shade, and Denise walked the perimeter and all was quiet. All was still, save for the chestnut-haired girl who was looking for trouble. There was no room for what if and replays; what happened had happened. It would work itself out eventually. Hopefully.

Hopefully...

– – –

Carol pulled the car over, Noah pulled the gauze out of his mouth and tossed it out the window, and Carol excused herself to use the bathroom. She surveyed the area before heading into the woods, glancing back to see Noah getting out of the car for air. She chose a spot and kept an eye on him. He was still high on the meds, but his mouth had healed well, and he was looking better. Well, less swollen, anyway. He still had a lot of damage from the hospital, but he bounced back mentally. She was proud of that and envious. He still had hope. An abundance of it. What a lucky gift.

She heard a twig snap as she adjusted her belt, pulling her knife from its holster.

"Is that a chicken?" Noah numbly asked, pointing into the woods behind her. Only it was much more garbled, and she only understood it after listening to her own daughter trying to speak when she was ten months old.

She looked over and saw it was a chicken. Only it wasn't alone, and it wasn't alive anymore. It was being devoured by a walker. She grabbed his arm and guided him back to the car quickly as he waved to the chicken and greeted the walker. She sat him down and ran around to the driver's side, the walker was alone and distracted by its meal, so she left it be, pulling off and following the directions Noah had given her prior to his dentist visit.

It wasn't much longer from that point, Noah was beginning to groan beside her, and she tried to offer him more sedatives, but he didn't want them. He pushed them away and sat upright. She glanced at him to be sure he was okay, and he gave a thumbs up since his jaw was too sore for a smile.

"Are you sure you don't want anything? A low dose, even? I can break these in half."

"I'm good," he managed, trying not to move his mouth much at all. "I want to be...sober when I see them. No pills. No nothin'."

She nodded. "Okay, just try and keep quiet." He gave another thumbs up, and Carol chuckled at him. "Beth made you some soup for the trip. It's in the cup holder."

He reached down and picked up the small thermos, an aww coming from his throat as he didn't want to speak it.

"It's mostly soften carrots, potatoes and peas, but it has flavor. We were able to make a broth for it, and it tastes better than canned. It's just less than canned. Nothing you have to chew. You can mash it with your tongue and the roof of your mouth if its too big to swallow. We cubed it all small though."

He had to resist smiling, his eyes burning at the care behind this little thermos of soup, and he set his hand over hers on the steering wheel.

"You're welcome." She grasped his pinkie with her thumb and squeezed it affectionately. "Now drink carefully, please. Beth will want an empty thermos when I get back."

He nodded and twisted the cap off, using his thighs to steady the thermos.

Carol kept her eyes on the road and exhaled slowly. "If anything goes wrong there, you can come back with me." She didn't look at him. "Or come back to us at any time. We may not have a lot of space, but you're welcome with us, Noah. You saved my daughter, and you saved my family. There will always be a place for you with us. I want you to remember that."

He peered at her over the thermos and swallowed. "Hmm?"

"I'm just throwing that out there. You don't have to take me up on it, but it is out there. We're here for you. Charlotte... She is so fond of you. I've never see her take to a stranger so well before, but I trust her judgement. And Beth's, of course." She cleared her throat. "You're one of us, too. That's all I meant to say."

"I appreciate that, and the same extends to you." His mouth was mostly numb, a mild twinge in throbbed through his cheek, but he wanted her to hear that. He needed her to hear that. He was beyond grateful, beyond appreciative. She made it clear he owed her nothing for this generosity and yet he owed her the world for it. He wished he could give it to her, give her all the joy and happiness she was giving him now, but he couldn't. Maybe one day.

She nodded and smiled for him. "Eat. We'll be there by the morning."

––

The trip was peaceful the entire way, save for that almost incident with the walker and chicken. It was a pleasant drive with very little worry about. Noah was calm and mostly slept through the trip, and Carol's mind spent the majority of the trip trying to come up with some way to ease his pain should the reality of the world devoured his home in his absence. She had little hope of meeting his mother and brothers and reuniting them. She knew the world was rarely so kind, but perhaps he had some luck left. Perhaps.

Hers had been beaten out of her so quickly, but that was before this world had come to an end. She was stripped clean of it once again when her little girl disappeared in the woods and turned up days later in a barn full of walkers. Her body dirty, her shoulder bloody, her face...twisted with hunger and lifelessness. Her little body...empty of the beautiful soul Carol had nurtured and loved and protected. From that day onward, Carol was empty. She did what had to do to keep surviving, and eventually that hope came back to her in small slices. The closer she got to her family—helping Lori with her pregnancy, keeping close to Beth and ensuring the young girl was mentally balanced, keeping Daryl close to the family when he wanted to wander off—it rebuilt itself. Day by day as their world shifted and bloomed at the prison, she found peace and joy and hope. She found love in so many forms, and she felt cherished and respected. She felt alive again, and all was well.

But then it was taken away. Illness came in, she made...a decision that changed everything, and the world was cruel. She had said goodbye to Daryl and his team so they could go out and bring medicine back to their family. She didn't know that was a forever goodbye. Rick made that so. Phillip cemented it. And she was all alone in the world, not knowing how much of her family was even still alive, and she was pregnant. A gift yet a curse. With no home, no food, no supplies, it was a curse. She knew she could lose that baby, perhaps even her life afterward, and she accepted that. She was ready to accept that. It wasn't giving up. It was the reality of the situation.

Yet she survived. Her daughter was surviving inside her. She found supplies of food to last, eventually found a good source of water and then Denise. She found a home and had a healthy little girl. She was strong and supported, but the world was greedy. It liked to take and take, and she would keep her eyes peeled for its grabby hands so when it came back to take, there would be nothing left for it to reach. She didn't believe in hope anymore. She didn't pray anymore. Instead she planned. She prepared. She watched. She was ready for whatever the world threw at her next. Noah wasn't so fortunate. She would have to support him should reality rear its ugly head.

"Not too far now." She straightened in the driver seat and saw Noah lean forward to stare out the window. "Just down this way, right?"

"Yeah, but um, just park here and we can walk. They... Just the last time a car came through, there was a lot of trouble." He undid his seat belt. "It's a ten minute walk tops, and I could use a walk."

"Okay." She pulled off the road and parked the car, seeing streaks of light blue pierce through the blackness in the sky. She climbed out of the car, locking it and leaving their supplies behind. "You okay to walk?"

"Yeah." He smiled, not caring about any pain or pull it offered, hobbling out onto the road. "It smells like rain."

"Just the woods." She fell into step beside him. "Nervous?"

"A bit." He inhaled and swallowed. "But I'll be fine. Let's go."

The pair continued onward on foot, the light blue reached across the sky like fingers in a pond, their reach causing ripples throughout the blackness of night. A blue light shined down on them as they walked onward, a cool breezing catching at their clothes, and hope brimmed inside of each step Noah took. Hope and the overwhelmed affects of excitement. He couldn't bare the walk any further. He wanted to run and be home and be with his family once more. He couldn't run. Not with the meds in his system and his leg, but if he could... If he could.

The outline of his home came into view, the blue-tinted world showing its wall, and Carol's eyes fixed on a spray painted words along one wall. Her hand instantly went to her belt, Noah didn't seem interested in it those words, and Carol's eyes narrowed and looked over the area carefully now. The beauty of the morning gone as cold caution took over.

They arrived at the gate and entered his home. Even in the haze of the lazy morning sun rise, it was obvious nothing about this home of his was the same as when he left. It was silent and felt more frigid than any winter's cold. That cold caution lessened the blow for Carol, who had been expecting this outcome, but it was like a power outage for Noah. As Noah stared and stammered to himself, Carol pulled her knife from her holster, and she called after him when he ran off towards a house.

"Noah." She hurried after him, nearly tripping over a dead body in the street, and she looked at it in horror. It wasn't a simple walker kill, or just dispatching an enemy. No, this body had been brutalized. Gaps missing from all over, boot shaped indention on its head, limbs barely held on by flesh and muscle. She felt sick at the sight and stumbled away to find Noah, though he had vanished from her sight.

"Noah?" She was about to follow the path she'd last seen him take when she heard movement. Human movement by the rapidness of it, and she took cover by a nearby car.

It took about five minutes for her to see movement in the treeline, she crouched down further and narrowed her eyes to make out the outline of two men fleeing from some type of danger. She saw even more men behind them and curse. She threw herself away from the car and towards where she last saw Noah. They had to leave. They had to leave now.

Gunshots rang out, she smacked against the side of a house, and someone screamed. She peered over the side of the house as more gunshots sounded, but they weren't hitting anything. There were no more screams, no more groans or bodies hitting the forest floor. The men who were chasing them down likely had ducked for cover, so why would they waste bullets? And time? All they were doing was causing a commotion, just making a lot of noise. They were...just making noise. Why would anybody want to make such nose? All it would do...

"Shit." She pushed off the house and noticed impressions in the grass. "Noah." She followed them and found him on the floor, sobbing and apologizing to a body in front of him. As she drew closer, she saw it was a woman's body, and she had been killed long ago. She was decaying, no smell, no insects. There was nothing here anymore. "I'm so sorry."

"I should have been here," he murmured. "I'm so sorry. I should have come home. I should have... I should have come back sooner. I said... I had plans...It wasn't enough... I wasn't enough..."

"Noah, I am so sorry, but we have to go. You heard those gun shoots. We have to move."

He nodded through his tears and covered her with a blanket. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Come here." She wrapped an arm around his around and supported his weight as they walked towards the door, a soft snarling emerged from the next room, and they looked over to see a small body standing there, reanimated and coming for them. She thought instantly of Sophia. And another small body.

Noah pulled the knife from his belt and approached his little brother, hand on his shoulder to keep him at bay. "Hey, Tyler... That's you, isn't it?"

"Noah," Carol urged.

He sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, it's you. I'm sorry." His voice broke as his little brother snarled and growled and reached for him. "I love you, Tyler." He thrust the knife through his head, catching his little body before he fell to the ground, carefully placing him there. "Goodbye."

They rushed out of the house only to be met by a flood of walkers, Carol pulled him behind the house and used the now bright rays of sun to guide them. The honey warmth of the morning sun reflected about forty walkers within those walls, a group of them devouring one of the men who were being chased, the W on his forehead ripped off as they ate and crunched and tore. The second man was weaving through the houses like Carol and Noah, feeling the gun with only a few bullets left heavy in his hand, and his pursuers hot on his tail.

Carol knew there was no leaving the way they entered, so she looked over the fence for a weak spot and noticed a shitty patch job further down. "Through here." She kicked the wood in as it was bolted into the stone and it gave easily.

"Stop right there," a low voice commanded, a gun cocking halting their moves. "Hands up."

Noah and Carol exchanged a look before standing with their hands up, Carol already had a plan to disarm him and get Noah through the hole before any more surprise guests showed up, but there was no need. The man who commanded they stop was a friend, was family, and Carol smiled at the sight of him. A disbelieving laugh escaped her, and she drew closer to embrace the young man when a gun fired and blood splattered across her shirt.

Carl stared blankly at the blood on Carol's shirt, more of it gushing out of the wound to the right of his face that had taken his eye, and his lips parted. "Carol...?" He collapsed, gun falling to the grass, and Carol caught him, falling with him and holding him close.

Without even blinking, her hand snatched the gun from the ground so hastily blades of grass ripped out with it and shot the man straight through the shoulder, leaving him very much alive for the walkers who were coming to feast on whatever had caused such noise. She handed the gun to Noah and tended to the precious boy in her arms, removing her blouse and tying it around his head to help stem the bleeding.

"Stay with me, Carl. Stay with me." She turned to Noah. "Help me."

"You go through." Noah took Carl from her. "Go now."

She slipped through the hole, grunting as the wood cut her thigh, and she fell free. She turned back for Carl, wrapping her arms around his chest to ease him through the hole, and Noah ensured the wood didn't cut Carl like it had Carol. He followed through the hole, helping Carol lift Carl up and haul him through the woods back to their car. He sorely wished he'd taken Carol up on those meds now.

The haul back to the car wasn't as smooth as they had wished due to walkers heavily searching the area and Noah's lack of upper body strength, but they managed. Carol tossed their bags to the floor of the backseat and dragged Carl inside the car, his torso on top of her thighs, and she dug through the medicine bag with blood covered hands to find medicine and gauze to help stabilize him until they got home.

Noah started the car and pulled out, gunning it down the road and letting any walker than came onto the road be hit. He was grateful for not taking any drugs, because this would have been hell on a high. It was hell sober. The worse nightmare imaginable. Well, almost. He wasn't entirely alone, and he got to have closure. It wasn't what he wanted, wasn't' what he deserved, but Beth was just like him. She deserved so much better, and at least he did have this closure. Even if it felt like he was being torn in half.

He looked back in the rear view mirror at Carol and Carl then sped up even more. It was a long trip home, and he would be damned if he put his own brother down just to watch Carol do the same with another family member. No. This happened for a reason, and he would ensure that reason was the survival of this guy. Mom would want them, his brothers and his father. The people of his community would want this, so he would deliver. He would get this Carl home to Denise then... then he would mourn.

Back at the Shirewilt Estates Glenn and Gabriel watched the walkers roam through the gated-in area, looking for any signs of Carl and not finding any. They had chased those last two wolves down for the medicine they'd stolen—all of their medicine from this last run—and they were so far from home. Now Carl was missing, and all they had to go by was his hat left behind in a pile of blood. Glenn had seen it through his binoculars, and they were able to get the hat, but...there was no sign of Carl. Glenn thought he saw another boy running through the streets just before the wolves unleashed those walkers, but he wasn't sure. All he could hope is if that boy wasn't with the wolves, he was with Carl and kept him safe.

They were trapped by the walkers, luckily able to get into a home with strong walls and reeked of death. No walker approached them, but they couldn't get out. They had to wait these walkers out and hope Carl was safe. It made Glenn want to raze this shithole just to find the boy, but he couldn't be so reckless. Gabriel was wounded by the wolves—an ax to the side—and he couldn't move quickly anywhere. He could barely move at all. Glenn wouldn't—and couldn't—abandoned him, but once they were out, they would try and find Carl. If Gabriel didn't extensive medical care. The bleeding had slowed, but...the damage and infection worsened every second.

He turned away from the window and balled his hands into fists. "Damn it."

"He'll be fine," Gabriel spoke through dry lips, voice hoarse from the lack of water and excess of sedatives in his system, "he has an angel with him."

Glenn wanted to laugh humorlessly at that statement but his heart hurt too much for even that. "Gab..."

"Angel..." He pointed out the window. "White haired angel..."


	4. Resolution

The sounds he could make out were shouting—a woman's voice filled with panic and love—the wind blowing in through an open or shot out window, distorting the other voice he could make out, and there were so many colors. Silvers, flesh tones, silver, brown, red, black, red, blue, red, red,  _red._  It began to brighten and drown out all other colors, darkening...darkening...nothing. There was nothing. It was pure darkness, and the colors were all gone. The sounds were amplified, and it was deafening. They swirled together like water down a drain, dizzying and captivating.

He felt things, too. Rocking. His body would rock back and forth from movement, he was numb to the rocking waves that gently tossed his body side to side, there was warmth all around him. It was wet along his face and neck, arm and firm against his back and shoulder,and it was consoling to have that warm pressure there. To feel this world pushed against him. If he were to slip away, he would immediately know with that warm pressure gone. He was still there. He was still alive.

Hands touched his neck, that soft voice came back with bubbling laughter and bliss at what was found there, and he wanted to see. He wanted to see the face that was laughing, to laugh with it, but his eyelids were so heavy. It hurt... It hurt...

– – –

"Denise!" The front door smacked open, Denise flew out of the kitchen with Beth on her heels, and Carol and Noah held a young man between them. "He's stable, but I don't know for how much longer."

"Carl!" Beth gasped and ran over to his limp body to try and help get him inside. "What happened?"

"He's in and out. We need to get him blood now!" Carol commanded. "Denise, please!"

"Help me get him onto the bed." Denise tightened her ponytail and headed to the bathroom to wash her hands. "Beth, get my tools!"

They all worked together to get Carl situated on the bed, Beth rolled her sleeves up to help Denise with him, Noah stumbled out of the room, and Carol stood at the end of the bed. Denise worked instantly the wound, Beth beside her and helping her clean the area once the blood started to gush again, and Carol looked down at the boy. The image of his mother, pale, blood slick over his entire upper right body, the beginning features of a man forming and coated with blood.

He hadn't moved or spoken since they got him to the car, Noah drove like a madman to get here, and Carol tended to him as best she could, but he didn't speak. He didn't move. His eye shut, and it didn't open. It didn't open, and there was so much blood. She hadn't seen so much blood in so long. It soaked her to the bone, clinging under her nails, drying in every curve of her knuckles, congealing into sticky blots on her hands and arms and neck. Her body was stained with his blood, and he still wasn't waking. Why...? Why wasn't he waking up? Carl...please... Carl, please, damn it. Don't. Don't. Don't!

"He needs blood." Denise turned to Carol. "We have some equipment from that raid four months ago. Does anyone know his type?"

"I know. It's the same as his father's. Daddy told me it. I don't match him." Beth set a bowl full of pieces of flesh and gore to the side, not lingering on its contents as she informed the room of her own blood type and Carl's, turning to Carol to see if hopefully hers did. "Do you?"

She shook her head. "No. How about you Denise?"

"I match." Noah sat on the floor outside the room, calling in weakly, eyes glossy and dry, staring at the wall with no ounce of feeling in his body. "I match."

"Noah." Beth followed his voice and found him on the floor. "But why...? No, please, come." She held her hand out, and he accepted it. "Here, sit down. I'll prep him."

"You should shower." Denise dug through her bag, speaking at Carol. "Clear your head. He's fine. He's just lost a lot of blood. The bullet may have taken his eye, but he will recover. He'll recover."

She nodded and departed from the room, heading to the bathroom to shower. She spotted Charlotte on Beth's bed, snoozing away with her favorite blanket, and she smiled before slipping into the bathroom to shower.

Hours passed, Denise had gone to take a nap, Beth sat by Carl's bedside and Noah was on the opposite side of the bed, his blood restoring what Carl had lost, and Carol was feeding her daughter two rooms down. It was dead silent in the house, but Carl was breathing on his own, the color had returned to his face, and his wound was wrapped and clean. It was a good silence.

"What happened?" Beth held Carl's hand in both of hers, eyes on Noah who looked worse than Carl did when they first brought him in. "Did you not find your family?"

"We found them," he murmured. "They were dead."

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Noah."

"I had to kill my brother." His eyes were hollow orbs of brown, almost black against the dim light of the room, his lips cracked and dried, his entire body still. He still wore the same blood covered shirt, and it wasn't all Carl's blood. His mother... his brother... this kid... "I had to."

Arms wrapped around his shoulders, he could smell flowers and spice in the air, and he blinked, the dry burning as tears flooded his eyes. He felt the warmth of Beth's sweater scratch against his cheek, her hair brushed over his face, and he gripped her arm with his hand, a whimper escaping through clenched teeth. He buried his face there in the sweater, Beth rested her cheek against his cheek, and she held him tightly. She hushed his sobs only to let him know he wasn't alone in crying them. She was there. She would always be there. He had a home to return to, and he had a family. One that would protect each other and support each other, like now with him and with Carl. There was no cost, only acceptance and love. Death could be mourned here. Life was grown here.  _He_  could grow here.

Carol tickled her fingers down Charlotte's little bubble belly, she pouted, not liking it, and Carol chuckled, placing a loud kiss against her belly. She giggled and reached for her face with both hands, and Carol gave it to her, seeing those beautiful eyes shining back at her with love and laughter.

"Mommy." She patted her face and grabbed her nose. "Mommy, I missed you!"

"I missed you, too, but this is how I breathe, first of all." She removed her little fingers. "And second of all, that's Missy Mommy to you."

She shook her head. "No."

"No? No?" Charlotte only grinned at her and giggled. "Fine, guess I'll take your nose then." She swept her fingers across her face, Charlotte blinked a few times, and Carol wiggled her "nose" above her.

"Aah, give it back!" Her mouth turned into a frown as she reached for Carol's hand. "Mommy, give it back. You already have one."

"Well, I guess I don't need it." She lowered her hand and blew a raspberry on her cheek, Charlotte whined, but she was smiling, and Carol rested her head on her knuckles. "There, all good." She tapped her nose twice. "Ooh, it's a little sideways."

"Nu-uh!" She smacked her hand over her nose, and Carol laughed. "My nose."

"Yes, your nose." She chuckled. "Sorta. It's more like your daddy's."

"Da...Dad..." She eyed her mother, not familiar with the word. "Daddy..."

"He would love you so much." She set a hand over her stomach. "So much, and you would adore him. I know I always say, but it's always true." She smiled sadly at the girl, her eyes stinging as a film of moisture cloaked them, and she blinked hard.

"Mommy's sad."

"Not so much anymore." She kissed her forehead and snuffled. "There's someone I want you to meet later. He's gonna be like a big brother to you. His name is Carl. Can you can that? Carl? Car-l?"

"C-aarl," she repeated, smiling, so sure she'd said it correctly. "Caarl!"

"Close enough for now." She adjusted the buttons on her jumper and exhaled. She did pronounce with a heavy A. "Want to hear a story about a good friend of Mommy's?"

"Yes, read me a story."

"It's not in a book, but it goes like this." She smoothed down her hair and thought back so many months ago. Years ago.

– – –

_It had been a month since their family had grown, Rick and Hershel were working on farming, Maggie and Beth were trying to help everyone adjust from a town to a prison, and Daryl kept his disance. Carol warmed to the newcomers, but she was still trying to wrap her mind around everything had happened. It was all so sudden, and it was so much to take in. Adjustments were...difficult. She needed some space. Just a little space._

_Daryl was by the gate with Carl and Maggie, Carol was walking the fence, and she overheard him saying he was leaving. She frowned and joined them, smiling at them as a greeting, and Daryl wouldn't look at her. She knew then his little trip wasn't going to be short. He was planing on taking off for days. And he didn't even tell her. Why didn't he tell her? Or mention it at all?_

_Maggie set her hands on Carl's shoulders and steered him off towards the prison. "Let's check on Beth and Patrick, okay?"_

" _But he's building with Legos," Carl griped_

" _So, let's go." She shoved him gently onward. "I'll be up in a sec."_

_Carol crossed her arms, and Daryl sighed, sitting back on the bike and meeting her eyes narrowly. She didn't say anything, only studied his eyes and tilted her head to the side, and he sighed again._

" _What do you want me to say?"_

" _Anything, really." She lowered her arms. "I'd like a why."_

" _Because I can't be here right now. I just buried the last bit of blood I had, and I ain't gonna sit around and make nice to strangers right now. I need to clear my head. I need space, and I can't have that with all these kids buggin' me. I ain't gonna be an ass to 'em, so I'm goin'"_

" _Okay." She swung her leg over the bike and wrapped her arms around his back. "Sounds good. Let's get out of here."_

" _Excuse me? Us?"_

" _Yes, us." She kept her cheek against the warm leather of his vest, his shoulder blade strong underneath the material. "I buried Andrea too, Daryl. I need some time away from here. There was nothing of Lori to even bury."_

_He bowed his head and adjusted his position. "Hang on then."_

_She closed her eyes, he called to Maggie to open the gate, and she heard stone scratch against metal before the bike rumbled to life underneath her. Air blasted at them as he sped down the road, the distance between them and the prison increasing, and she only opened her eyes when cold, moist air hit her exposed hands. She saw lovely dark greens and shadows, lifting her head to see he'd taken a trail through the woods, and she smiled at the sight of it. Green, peaceful, stretching forward endless. It was beautiful._

_She tightened her grip on him, his hair lightly blowing back into her face, and she didn't mind. She rested her chin on his shoulder for only a moment before the oncoming air was too much. She rested her head on his shoulder and studied the side view, listening to the sounds of nature and allowing the cold air to spill into her lungs, whisking away the choking sensation of being trapped in the prison with so many people. They were all trying to readjust and mourn, but some had more to mourn than others, and some people—like them—needed the privacy to properly mourn. To return would mean to recover, and they weren't there yet, but it felt possible now._

_She wasn't sure when he pulled the bike to a stop, Carol stepped off first, and he followed, pulling his crossbow over his shoulder._

" _You bring a weapon?" He looked her over, seeing mostly an oversized jacket and wind blown curls._

" _Of course." She unzipped the jacket and showed her knife._

" _Here." He stepped closer and adjusted the holster. "Tuck your shirt in behind it, makes it easier to get your knife. Be sure your jacket doesn't get in the way of pullin' it."_

" _Thanks."_

" _Just...don't want anythin' to happen to ya." He wondered off and scanned the area. "River's not too far from here. Probably a camp ground south of it. Spotted it a while back when..."_

" _When you left the group," Carol finished. "It would be nice to just get away for a few days, and you don't have to hide. Not with me."_

" _I know," he whispered. "Why I even let you on my bike."_

" _Oh, you "let me on"?"_

_He smiled a little. "Yeah, let you."_

" _Okay." She smiled back at him and set a hand on his arm. "Thanks for letting me then."_

" _Yeah, just don't make a habit of it." A smirk. "You still needa work on your aim to watch my back."_

" _I held my own well against the Governor." She walked in front of him and looked around. "And I'm fine with a knife."_

" _Fine ain't enough—you gotta...be skilled. You ain't there, so I'm gonna worry."_

" _Then teach me how to be there." She faced him and locked her eyes in his. "Show me how to be skilled, how to track, how to leave a trail, how to...survive. We learned on the road, but we're not on the road. I don't want another Governor coming in and doing this to us again, so show me. Please, for Andrea's sake and Merle's."_

_He lowered his eyes, teeth nibbling on his inner lower lip, and he nodded once. "Okay. Take it off."_

" _What?" She stumbled backwards, not expecting that to come out of his mouth._

" _Your jacket. Take it off. It'll get in the way. If you get cold, I'll make a fire."_

" _Well, if you want to get me out of my clothes, you just have to ask."_

_He blushed and averted his eyes. "Just...take it off, please."_

" _Okay." She set it on the ground. "What now?"_

_He set his crossbow on the ground as well and his vest, closing the space between them. "Hold up your arms."_

" _What are you showing me exactly?"_

" _How to defend yourself. You're small, not built like Maggie or Michonne, but you're not weak. I've seen you. You can control someone else's weight." He didn't want to know how or why she knew how to do that, because it would instantly piss him off. "I'll show you how to incapacitate them. Your knife is gonna need an upgrade, but we'll work on that later. Arms up. You trust me?"_

" _Of course."_

––

" _Here, this should help with the swelling." He set a cloth over her shoulder, she shuddered at the contact, and he apologized. "Sorry. I didn't mean to push you so hard."_

" _Not quite how I wanted to get bruises, but it's okay. I asked for it." Heh, that was funny to say and actually mean. "Thank you."_

" _I have a couple more soaking in the river in a net." He sat beside her on the bed. They had found a camper in decent condition, and it had some still working camping gear. It felt like camping before, but...walkers still crossed their paths, and he wasn't a little boy anymore. He also wasn't alone. There was no better company, to be honest._

_She exhaled and leaned against the wall. "How long have we been gone?"_

" _Four days now."_

" _When should we head back?" She rolled her head to the side and looked him over, and he shared a small smile with her. "Daryl..."_

" _Day after tomorrow. I gotta show you how to fish first. Found a good spot, no walkers, some decent sized fish." He ran a hand through his hair. "Found some rods a couple campers down. In good shape. We can bring some back with us."_

" _That would be nice. Smooth it over with Dad." She shivered through her amused chuckle, and he noticed. "He won't be happy with this."_

" _We're adults. He'll get over it." He straightened his spine and met her eyes. "You...uh, you cold?"_

" _A little bit." Her jacket ended up in the mud a few nights ago, and the blankets here were thin and light for summer trips, not the winter that was befalling them now. He had found as many blankets as he could, but not all cold could be fought off. "I'm fine."_

_He cleared his throat. "C'mere."_

" _Hmm?" She lifted her head._

" _C'mere," he repeated, moving back onto the bed. "Might as well make use of my body heat, ain't doin' me much good."_

_She smirked teasingly at him and chuckled. "Are you asking me to cuddle with you?"_

" _No, it ain't like that. You're just cold, and you'll get a cold. I don't want you barfin' on me on the way back home. I got a thing about that."_

" _Oh, well, we don't want offend your thing."_

_He blushed and shook his head. "You're such a... Ugh, forget it."_

" _I'm only kidding to get this reaction out of you." She chuckled softly and moved closer to him. "This is nice, thank you."_

" _Lemme get a blanket. Did you eat?"_

" _Yeah, the crackers were stale, but somehow it all went down."_

" _Yeah, I know what you meant." He pulled the blankets from his bed and set them on the bed, moving underneath them with her, and she rested her head on his shoulder, eyes closing. "You feel any better? Your shoulder?"_

" _Yeah, the cold's helping."_

" _Should be sure you don't catch nothin'." He wrapped another blanket around her, leaning against the wall and listening to the stillness of nature. "He's gonna be pissed."_

_She giggled. "So pissed."_

_He snorted at her tone and smirked. "Get some sleep."_

" _Keep it up, and there'll be no getting rid of me." She removed the cloth and tossed it into the bucket of other dirty rags, her shoulder numb from the cold._

" _Maybe I don't wanna get rid of ya," he murmured when the rag smacked against the others, and she gave him a funny expression. "Get some sleep."_

" _I can't sleep like this. Lie down, and I'll sleep beside you."_

_They lied down on the bed, he slipped a hand under his head, and she curled up facing the wall. He listened to her breathing and glanced over at her, seeing she had fallen asleep easily. A filling meal—no matter how...rough—and warmth tended to do that to her, he noticed. He was glad. Sleep was the best recovery a body needed, and she couldn't...question why he had moved so close when she was asleep. He didn't touch her, but he was closer. He could feel her mere cementers away from him, and he felt safe. He felt better. The burden of mourning lessened with her around, and he felt confident in her being able to protect herself. He could worry less. He'd definitely still worry about her, but less. It was oddly comforting. Her being safe...lulled him to sleep._

– – –

_Rick was fuming when the pair returned, however they had a butt load of fish with them, and it softened the blow. Neither explained what had happened while they were away, but they were both lighter. Carol showed off some fish to the kids, most of them fled from the sight, but some were interested. She had to prepare them for lunch, and she left Daryl and Rick by the gate with Carl to ready the fire pit._

" _You all right?" Rick shifted his weight, hands on his hips. "Y'all were gone a while. We were worried."_

" _I'm fine." He squinted under the sun shining off the gates. "We just needed...time and some space."_

" _I get that. I'm glad y'all are all right. She looks better, and so do you." He smiled. "Anythin' you wanna share there, Daryl?"_

_He smirked to himself. "Not with you."_

" _Oh, but there's somethin' to share?"_

" _No!" He ducked his head to keep his blush hidden and rolled his bike towards the makeshift parking lot._

" _Ho, ho, ho." Rick caught up to him. "Are you blushin'?"_

" _Don't you got anythin' better to do, Santa Claus?"_

" _Not anymore." He laughed._

" _Prick."_

_They walked by Carol who had gotten caught by more kids who were stunned to see real fish, Daryl glanced over at her, and she was laughing with them, her features bright and beautiful. She caught him looking and told the kids who helped her, and they rushed over to meet him. Rick stopped teasing him to let the kids swarm him, and Daryl wasn't sure what to do, but he told them the story of how he caught them. It seemed to please Carol, and that made him really happy to see her so happy. He was surprised to feel so happy with all that happened last month, but there he was. Huh, perhaps time wasn't the only means of healing. Maybe good friends were, too._

" _Whoa!" A little girl gasped. "Show me how to fish! Show me, show me! Please, please please!"_

" _No, show me!" A boy cried. "Molly's gonna cry, but not me."_

" _I won't cry! Lair!"_

" _Okay, kids," Carol called to them when Daryl was clearly overwhelmed by their continued bickering, "chores."_

" _Aww."_

_Daryl had never been so grateful for chores than he had in that moment, and he'd never been so grateful for the woman who said the word. He'd keep her safe from a distance, too. She'd cover her front, and he had her back. He'd never let her out of sight for long. That was a promise._

– – –

Beth had Charlotte that morning while Denise spoke with Noah and Carol prepared food for Carl, it had been forty eight hours since they'd brought him home, and they were hopeful he'd wake up this morning. He still had a pulse—a strong one—and Denise was confident he'd pull through. Eventually. He just had to wake up first, lazy bones. He'd been through so much. They wanted to be sure he was all right. How could he not be?

"This little piggy went to market," Beth tickled Charlotte's feet, laughing with her and helping her learn to count her toes. Whether she retained it or not was a different matter entirely. "And this little piggy—"

"...Beth?" A croaked voice cut her off, eyelid fluttering weakly, and he exhaled roughly. "B—Beth?"

"He's awake." She stood up. "You're awake. Oh, my God." She ran to the doorway and shouted for them then went back to his side, holding his hand and smiling brightly at him. "Hey, yes, it's me."

"What...?" He swallowed, his throat sticking, and he coughed.

"Have some water." She pulled the cup from the nightstand and helped him take sips from it. "Easy, you're all right. You're safe."

"Am I dead?" He blinked at her. "Why can't I...?" He touched the side of his face and felt bandages. "What the...?"

"Carl." Carol set his breakfast down on the nightstand and sat on the bed. "Easy there. It's still healing."

"What happened? Where am I?" He looked from Carol to Beth, taking them both in and how much they had changed. Beth had gnarly gashes on her face, her shirt was barely touching her shoulders, and she had lost a lot of weight. She was never that big, but now she was very...very small, smaller than him, and she was older. It made his chest hurt to see her looking so beaten. What the hell had happened to her?

And Carol looked smaller, too. Her hair was still short, but it reached further down towards her chin. She looked a bit worn, but happy and still breathing. She wasn't the same woman he had last seen, but he was glad of that. Her changing was a good thing; it always had been.

He was utterly bemuse by this situation and shook his head to try and clear it, his thoughts falling out before he could process them. "How are you alive? I thought...you had died. Both of you."

"That's nice." Beth smirked flatly at the boy. "I knew you were alive."

"No, I didn't mean—It's really good to see you. Maggie's gonna be so happy." He smiled. "And Daryl, too. Dad... Judith!" He laughed. "Everyone."

"Maggie's with you?" Her eyes widened, her heart stopping dead in its tracks at the mention of her big sister. The sloppily taped box she had forced around her family fell apart, and she couldn't sit still. They had to. They had to go now. Maggie was somewhere and alive. They had to be there. They had to be going there. Where? "Where? Where is she? How far away is it?"

He chuckled. "Beth, I have no clue where I am, so I dunno. It might be far, though. We were on the run—me, Glenn and Gabriel—and we founds some wolves who gave us trouble."

"Animals?"

"No, a group of savage killers. They had attacked our home, but we managed to get rid of them. We just ran into a couple of them again. They took our medicine. We had to follow them a long way, but we needed it. I hope Glenn got it. I hope they're all right." He rubbed the back of his head and spotted the infant by his leg. She was a fair skinned little beauty in overalls, chestnut hair spilling over her shoulder, and she was staring at him with familiar eyes. "Who...is this?"

"Oh, this is Charlotte." Beth set a hand on the girl's foot to get her attention for a moment, though she was deeply intrigued by Carl, and she only briefly glanced at Beth. "Charlotte, this is Carl. He's family."

She looked at him with big blue eyes, lips damp with moisture and offered a toothy smile at the long haired boy. "Hello." She waved at him. "I'm Charli."

He returned her smile. "Hi." He reached out and touched her soft, chubby cheeks and her soft long hair. "She's cute. Is she yours?" He looked at Beth.

"No! No, she ain't mine." She gestured to Carol to let him know who the girl came from. "This is—"

"Oh, he's actually up. I thought I misheard." Denise entered the room with Noah. The woman wore a loose white button up shirt and jeans, looking more like a 90s Mom than a doctor. Carol had told her this several times, but Denise liked what she liked. "I should perform a check up once you've eat. Um, but first I am Denise Cloyd. I'm a doctor and friend of Carol's."

"Family," Carol corrected. "This is Noah. He...helped save you and Beth."

"Save Beth?" He looked at her, suddenly recalling what he'd been told years ago. "What happened to you in the last few years? Daryl mentioned you were taken?"

"It's a long story, and it doesn't matter. I'm okay now. We saved each other and are alive. Denise saved you, and now...now we can go home to my sister." Her eyes burned as a smile lit up her face. "We can see our family again."

"That's amazing." Denise smiled. "I can't wait to meet them. I hope another doctor's useful."

"Yeah, our is kinda loopy. He's...nice but weird. He can't sing either." He glanced at the other teenager. "I remember seeing you. You were by my bed."

"I gave you blood." He held his arm out to show the bandage on his inner forearm. "We match blood types."

"Yeah, thanks." He smiled and looked them over. "I can't believe you guys are alive, and we...are together. Maggie is going to explode, and Glenn, too. God, Hershel—"

"Daddy?" Beth jolted. "W—what?"

"Oh, no, Hershel...died." He lowered his eye. "Maggie had a baby, Beth. Hershel Rhee."

She covered her mouth with her hand. "She had a baby?"

He nodded. "And he's adorable. He's about the same age as this one here."

"Oh, my God. I have a nephew." She stood up, pushing hair out of her face and walking over to the door. "She named him after Daddy?"

"Yeah." Carl minded the toddler that was crawling onto his lap and planted herself there, leaning against his chest and sighing with boredom. He wrapped his arms loosely around her and chuckle. "Very expressive kid we got here. Is she yours then?"

"Oh, no." Denise shook her head when she saw him looking. "I...am not... I've been single since birth. Um, she's Carol's daughter."

Carl blinked and turned to the woman who hadn't said anything about anything and was very calm about the situation. "Y—you have a daughter? How? I mean, with who?"

She pursed her lips and gave no response, knowing now there was no avoiding it. Well, here goes privacy.

"You had to be pregnant at the prison for her to be so big. Right? I mean, who...? I don't... Wait, Darren?"

"Who's Darren?" Beth frowned, snapping out of her bliss bubble. "Oh, God, no. She isn't his, right? He is... Umm, never mind."

"He was a good man," Carol added when Beth cut off. "He had his jokes and his charms. And we were  _friends_ , but nothing more. Her father... Well, we'll see him soon enough."

"What does that mean?" Beth glanced at Carl. "Who all got out?"

"Um, Dad, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, Tyreese, Sasha, and we got a few more people along the way, but only those you guys know." He shifted on the bed. "Dad and Michonne are together now, and Maggie and Glenn have their son, and...our home is more secure than any place we've been. Charlotte will be safe there. All of us will be."

Beth exhaled. "Daryl made it back to you guys?" She wasn't sure if he mentioned him before now, but she was aware and excited and heard every word pertaining to their family. Their living, healthy family.

"Yeah, he saved us from a group of assholes."

"Oh, thank God. I was so worried after we got separated."

Carol lifted her head at that news. "Y—you were with Daryl?"

"Yeah, we got out together, but we ended up getting overrun in a funeral home. I was kidnapped trying to take out a walker with a broken wrist. That's how Grady got a hold of me." She searched her eyes. "How long had you been sleeping with him?"

"Whoa." Carl looked down at Charlotte and noted the hair once more and her nose. Wait, that beauty mark..?! "Hang on—"

"Seven months." She kicked the wall lightly with the heel of her boot. "I got pregnant about two months in, but I didn't notice. I didn't think I had to worry about it. But everything happened at the prison happened, and I was on my own. I felt her move, and I got a test. I was pregnant. Charlotte is Daryl's biological daughter. Mystery solved."

"I didn't mean to pry," Beth confessed. "I just wanted to be sure it was your choice."

"Of course it was. I know how you handle men who make unwanted advances. I was married to one for years."

Noah shifted uncomfortably in the corner, Carl set a hand on Charlotte's head, Denise was tempted to just leave and claim she had to check on literally anything else, and Beth sat beside her. She set a hand on her shoulder and attempted to get a smile out of her.

"He missed you. He...mourned everything we lost, and I know for a fact he missed you especially. We got drunk, and he thought I passed out afterward in the woods, but... I could hear him crying about you. He really loved you."

"It was a long time ago." She stood up. "Denise, check Carl out and see if he's good for travel. Beth should get home to Maggie, and Rick will be worried about Carl. Devastated, in fact, so please."

"I'll get our things ready," Noah offered. "Clothes, food, medicine."

"I'll help you pack it all up." Beth stood up and walked over to him, looking at Carol once more. "It wasn't that long ago."

"We slept together, Beth. It was for release, nothing more. Help Noah pack. I have to check the car and be sure it can make the trip. Carl, when you're up for it, give Denise directions to this home." She paused and gestured to Charlotte. "Do you mind watching her for me?"

"No, it's cool." He pulled out a tight smile. "I've got her."

"I don't need a babysitter," Charlotte remarked. "I can help."

"I know you can help, and you are. You're going to keep Carl company and help him out, okay? Can you do that for me?"

She inhaled deeply and tossed her mom a thumb's up. "I'm the bestest helper ever."

"Yes, you are. Thank you both." She strolled out of the room and headed for the car. She moved out of sight, covering her mouth with her hand and nearly collapsing beside it. She used her free hand to catch her weight on the car, eyes filling with tears and laughter rising in her throat. He was alive. She knew he was alive, but now he was within reach. They all were. Charlotte would know her father and her family. "Oh, God." She would know real safety, too.

Inside Beth studied Carl and told Noah she'd catch up to him, Denise prepared to look him over for travel, finding a notepad to write out directions for Alexandria so he called it. Beth moistened her lips and stepped closer to the bed.

"Is he involved with someone?" She didn't dare avert her eyes. "Daryl, I mean."

"Why would you ask that?" He let Charlotte have his fingers since she kept prying at them, and he felt like he was with Judith when she was this age. Charli kept touching her hand to his, like she couldn't believe how big his hand was compared to hers. Wait till she felt Daryl's. God, that was an odd though. Daryl as a father. It wasn't just a thought; it was a fact. His head was swimming at this point, and he decided to shut it off. All of it off until they were home. Then he'd deal.

"Your expression when you found out about them—it wasn't just surprise. There was dread, too, so is he?"

"He might be. I don't know for sure. I've seen him out with a woman named Nina. I...can't speak on their relationship."

"Oh, no."

"We really did think you were all dead."

"Yeah, tell that to her." She waved to Charlotte and sauntered out of the room to find Noah. She was ready to get packing and see Maggie. She couldn't wait to see her and hug her and Glenn and Hershel. Her nephew. God, she couldn't wait to see them after all this time. To be whole again...

She came to a halt at Noah sitting on the porch steps, crying, and she remembered what his family situation was. He had lost everything in mere seconds, and he had to swallow it to help Carl survive. He had no time to mourn. After all he'd helped them through, there was no reward, only agony and loss.

She lowered herself down onto the step beside him, a hand on his back, and he threw himself on her, sobbing. She held him close and prayed silently, her arm around his arm to let him know she was there for him. There was time for mourning, and then there would be time for family and rebuilding. They would find that with Maggie. She was sure of it.


	5. Three Years Coming

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

The car was packed, the garden mostly uprooted, the kids were all lined up in the backseat, Denise was sure Carl was ready for travel, and Carol was eager to get them home. They would be much happier with their families, and she was happy for them. They would be whole again, and she knew it would help Maggie and Rick to see them again. She hoped it was...good. After two days to think things over, she wasn't so sure about it herself, but they had to get there. She would attempt to work it out on the way, but her decision felt final. It had been a long time, and time changed everything, so she'd let it rest. It had to rest. It was simply the past. All of it.

"You ready?" Denise held a sleepy Charlotte in her arms, and Carol smiled tenderly at her girl. "She's ready. I mean, look at her. Road trip naps become her."

Carol laughed. "Yeah. Here, let me take her. You drive half then me. I just...want to hold her for a bit."

"Understandable." She kissed her hair and handed her over carefully, Charlotte fussed until Carol shushed her and drifted back off, and Denise chuckled, heading around the car to the driver's side.

Carol rocked her gently and looked over her home. The home she was raising her daughter in, and she picked a flower from the garden, holding onto it and getting into the car. "I'm ready."

– – –

_Carol counted the stock once more to be sure the peaches weren't getting the best of her, arms wrapped around her waist, and she glanced behind her to find Daryl behind her. She stepped forward and out of his reach, loudly marking off the peaches and moving down to the beans._

" _Hey, what's that attitude?" He followed her. "Did I do somethin' wrong?"_

" _Fifteen cans of peas," she murmured. "Don't tell Rick. He'll feel shame for his little ones that won't grow."_

" _Carol, talk to me."_

" _About what?" She marked it of the list and faced him. "You have a run into the great unknown tomorrow. You should prepare. We needs those meds."_

" _Are you mad I volunteered?"_

" _What? No. I'm not childish."_

" _Then why are you mad?"_

" _I'm not. It's complicated." She moved around to mark off the corn, but he caught her waist and held her there. "Daryl, please—"_

" _Is it 'cause of what I asked?"_

_She hung her head. "No, it's not. I would love to do that, to live in the same cell as you, but... I'm going through something complicated. I need time, okay? Please understand that."_

" _I do. I will. Just don't shut me out."_

_She smiled weakly. "I won't."_

" _I have to meet with Michonne in an hour, but I wanted to check on you, see how you were. You haven't looked good since the other morning."_

" _A child died. Several people died. How good am I supposed to look?"_

_He met her eyes. "Lizzie will be fine. She's tough, and I'll get the meds. She'll be healthy and runnin' around like a kid in a couple days. You got my word."_

_She didn't want think or talk about this anymore, so she set the clipboard down. "We separated the kids and the elderly, so our cell block is pretty much empty." She stepped away from him. "And I know no one is in there now..."_

" _Wait, you serious?"_

" _You're be leaving soon, and I want to break in our new bed." She smiled for him. "Unless you don't want to..."_

_He chuckled and caught her hips, kissing her. "I want you anytime." He smiled. "You're ready to tell 'em?"_

" _Well, it'll be easier to avoid Rick walking in on us if he knows we're together. I won't have to hide under a bag and ruin a perfectly good orgasm." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you, you know that, right?"_

" _I know." He reached down and picked her up, she squealed and held onto him tighter, and he kissed her neck. "I'll even show you."_

" _I was hoping you would." She sealed his mouth with hers as he guided her towards their empty cell block._

_The path to was clear, Daryl carefully placed her down onto his mattress, hovering over her, and he crushed his mouth against hers. He was grateful to not be leaving fighting. He didn't want that. He wanted her to know he loved her and he was there for her. He wanted her to know that. She had been keeping something from him, but he wouldn't push. They would talk once he got back. He would make sure of it._

_He unbuttoned her blouse, he pushed it down her shoulders and kissed the skin he exposed. She smiled at the kisses and weaved her fingers through his hair, bringing his mouth to hers. She reached down to work on his belt, but he pushed her back against the bed and slowed their kiss, his tongue tracing hers softly. She knew then he wasn't going to be satisfied with anything but sweet and slow love making. Sometimes they had to be quick, they wanted a quick release, but sometimes...like now...they spent hours just getting lost in each other. It broke her heart and nearly brought tears to her eyes._

_He broke the kiss to remove his own shirt but noticed the tears in her eyes. "You okay?"_

_She nodded and smiled. "Come back to me, okay? No matter what happens—"_

" _'Course I'll come back. Ain't nothin' gonna stop me." He studied her. "I love you, and I'm gonna come back to you."_

_She kissed him hard. "Good, because I will come after you and kick your ass, Dixon."_

_He chuckled. "Well, you know it well."_

" _I do." She stroked his cheek. "I'd know exactly where to kick—and stroke."_

" _So, which is it?" He tilted his head. "You gonna kick my ass or turn me on?"_

" _Maybe both."_

" _I'll take both then." He kissed her once more and together they removed his shirt, letting it fall where it may. "God, I want you so damn bad." He rested his forehead on hers. "When I saw all those people dead and you were already there, I..."_

" _They wouldn't take me down. Trust me. I have a lot to survive for."_

" _So do I."_

" _Okay, so these need to come off now." She removed his belt. "You can take your time with me after."_

" _Your stomach up for that? I know it's been kinda soft lately—"_

" _Daryl, please, don't talk about my upset stomach." She set a hand on his neck. "Be inside me."_

" _Sweet talk me why don't you?" He kissed her without a single ounce of the earlier sweetness, trailing his kisses downward, tearing her bottoms off so that he could taste and devour every inch of her. She moaned and reached out to grasp the bars, grateful that this cell block was empty, because he wasn't playing around, and she felt the world didn't exist as his tongue traced and sucked and stroked her so damn right._

––

_He had fallen asleep afterward, exhausted from all the work they had done today and just now between the two of them, and Michonne hadn't come looking for him, so Carol stayed with him. She felt guilty and unworthy and awful, just awful. She avoided her real issue and used sex to keep him at a distant. She never wanted to be able to say that. She wanted to keep it clean between them, only attraction and love driving them to this bed or hers. She felt dirty, having wanted a quick fuck to distract him, and he gave her sweet, tender love, and she couldn't handle that feeling right now._

_She dressed and hurried out of his room, passing Michonne on her way out of the cell block, and she barely made it to a trashcan before puking. She felt hands on her arms, and she coughed, gripping the rim of the trashcan for support, and someone rubbed her back, assuring her to get it all out. At the voice it was obvious it was Maggie._

_She hurled for a good ten minutes, Maggie was by her side the entire time, and she helped her over to a seat and a glass of water. She felt her forehead, but there was no temperature, and there no other signs of this illness present. People threw up blood, not breakfast anyway._

" _Are you all right?" She studied her._

" _Yeah, just...anxiety, I suppose." She wiped her mouth on her hand. "Thank you."_

" _It's fine." She smiled. "You sure you're all right?"_

" _Yes, thanks." She set the cup down. "What are you even doing here?"_

" _I was on my way to see Daddy, and I saw you gettin' sick. I was worried. Still am." She smiled at her. "Get some rest, okay? It's not good to put so much stress on your body."_

" _I am constantly under stress. Some days are just less."_

" _I know, but try."_

" _I'll take it into consideration." She weakly returned Maggie's smile. "How's Glenn?"_

_She averted her eyes._

_She nodded. "I guess we both have aspects of our lives we need to improve upon." She cleared her throat. "I'll go lie down, but...check on him. He'll need you."_

" _Yeah."_

_They parted ways, Maggie went to check on Dad, and Carol went to figure out what the hell she was doing to do with this guilt and the truth being known. She knew she'd end up back in bed with Daryl, to just be with him and his warmth, but she didn't feel she deserved it right now. She needed to be honest, brutally, with Daryl, no matter the cost. He had to know what she did._

– – –

"Is there no music in this thing?" Beth leaned into the front seats. "Anythin'?"

"No. I looked before we left." Denise shrugged a shoulder. "Unless you want to sing campfire songs, I have nothin' to tell you."

"She does sing campfire songs," Carl mused, smiling at the painkillers in his system. "Just...a long time ago."

"There's nothing worth singing for," Noah informed him, "back at Grady, not even in the shower."

Carl frowned. "What happened there?"

"We were used and beaten like animals." Noah was staring at the console between the front seats, not blinking, eyes wide. "Every basic human need charged to keep you there longer, and there was no escaping."

"But we did escape." Beth set a hand on his shoulder. "We escaped, and they can't hurt us."

"I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible. I..." Carl didn't want to think about what almost happened to him that night with those assholes who beat Daryl and nearly... "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." Beth set her hands in her lap and exhaled. "I suppose I could sing. Better than to fill the space with pains of the past."

"Be my guest." Denise smiled at her through the rear view mirror.

As her soft voice filled the car, they all wondered what would be awaiting them at this new home.

– – –

" _Did you really think it'd be so easy?" Carol was sitting on a pile of blankets in his vest—only his vest—and he was pacing the length of the tower in his jeans. "I told you it was okay. We'll get better."_

" _It ain't a we problem." He dragged a hand down his face._

" _Daryl, stop pacing." She caught his arm and pulled him down. "You should be cuddling me. We did just made love, and I know you like cuddling."_

" _Just don't feel right about it. I mean, not about it as a whole. It's perfect with you, but... it's just...me."_

" _I liked being with you." She smiled sweetly at him. "It felt nice."_

" _I didn't want it to be "nice". I wanted you feel like I felt. I didn't even—"_

" _Daryl, stop. I don't care about expectations. I care about you, and that was amazing." She caught his chin. "Don't you agree? We've been together in so many ways, but only twice like this. You being inside of me, a part of me, and we moved...together and that was amazing. We can work out other ways to get me there, like you have many times before, so don't beat yourself up. I want to bask in this, in us, so please. Just hold me and maybe we can do it again."_

_He smiled a little. "You sure you're all right, though?"_

" _I just made love with my best friend. I'm very all right." She kissed him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Now, seriously, spoon me. I'm so tired and I like when you hold me."_

_He laughed but nodded, lying down beside her, holding her in his arms. He buried his nose in her scent, she tossed a blanket over him, and he kissed the base of her neck, causing her to shudder. He apologized, but she laced her fingers through his and chuckled softly. It may not have been perfect, but at the same time it was, and there was no better outcome for that evening._

Daryl woke up to the sounds of commotion outside. He slipped out of bed and hurried down the stairs, passing Nina and Olivia, and he ran out the door to find Glenn and Gab by the gate. Gab was bleeding, and Daryl rushed over to help them. They carried him to the clinic where Mordin was waiting ready to treat him.

"What happened?" Daryl looked around. "Where's Carl?"

"I don't know." Glenn's eyes were shimmering with tears. "One minute he was beside and the next we were trapped by walkers. I tried to follow a trail, but he was taken by someone. A guy. I don't know anything more, but he had a car. There was a blood trail then it stopped, so they had a car."

Could it be...the same people who took Beth? But so far out? No, no, there was no way, but why would they save him? Or take him if he was wounded? That's just making a mess out of things. "You got nothin' on 'em?"

"I'm sorry."

"Glenn." Maggie ran over and hugged him tightly. "It's okay. I heard."

"How is it okay? I lost him, Mags. He's barely eighteen! I lost him, and I don't know if we'll get him back. Or if he's alive."

"Shh." She rested her face gently against his. "We'll find him. We'll find them. It's probably the wolves. We can get them."

"They killed the wolf, so it's not." He buried his face in his hand. "Damn it."

"The angel," Gabriel murmured, sedated. "The angel..."

"Angel?" Daryl frowned. "What's he sayin'?"

"He thinks he saw a white angel save Carl." He laughed bitterly. "He's lost a lot of blood. He's been in and out, seeing there. There was nobody but some random guy, and I have no clue who he is or if he's good. If he could help Carl...or hurt him. And I have no idea how to get him back. He could be dying, but I have nothing."

"The angel...will...bring...bring him home." He blacked out.

"There was no angel!" Glenn snapped. "We screwed up, and Carl... Carl paid the price." He moved Maggie aside and stormed out of the clinic.

She sighed softly and crossed her arms. "Rick's distraught. He...fell onto the pavement, hasn't moved, and now Glenn, too. I can't reassure him. I can't. There's nothin'. He wouldn't be here if there was somethin'."

"I know." He looked at Gabe. "Who knows if this angel will deliver or not?"

"Yeah, angels." She rolled her eyes. "I should check on him, but I appreciate you helpin' him get Gabriel here. Let's hope he knows somethin' off those meds."

Daryl looked over at the man while Mordin began to look over the damage, and he frowned, departing the office to speak with Rick. He knew how much this had to hurt him, and he wanted to make sure he was all right. Glenn wasn't and wouldn't be until Carl was back home, and Rick... There was no recovery from this, he knew that, but he could show his support. It was all he could show.

"What happened?" Nina jogged over to him and hugged him for a second to show support for his situation. She didn't want to confirm it, but she had to hear him say it. Hearing it in passing was nothing, so... "Is it true? Is he gone?"

"Yeah, he might have been taken."

"Oh, no." She bowed her head. "God, Carl..."

"Yeah, it ain't gonna be an easy time."

"What are we going to do? Are we going to go after them? I have my bow. I'm ready, just let me know."

"It's Rick's call. I should talk to him. Let him know he has us if he needs us."

"Please keep me informed. I love Carl. He's a great kid, and if I can help him like he's helped me then please."

He nodded. "Go help Mordin. Gabriel...looks rough."

"You take an ax to the side and see how good you look." She wiped at her eye and smiled at him. "He'll be fine. We'll patch him. I promise you that much."

"Thanks, Nina."

She jogged off to help Mordin in the clinic, he found Rick and Michonne inside the house, and he was ready for whatever plan Rick had come up with. Insane or stupid.

––

The trip to Alexandria was a lengthy one, Carol was sick of road trips, and Noah offered to finish the drive when Carol kept heaving out sighs. She was embarrassed, because she thought everyone was asleep. She assured him it was fine and sealed her lips. She wasn't sure how much longer it would be, but the map and directions Carl had given were shrinking, and she was sure they were a few minutes till arrival. She was grateful to never get back in this car. She knew she had to, but it would be nice to have a break.

As daybreak came down on them, Carol was unsettled by the gates of Carl's home, and she stayed put until the sun had fully risen and nothing could be hidden. She pulled up to the gate, parking and rousing Denise. They let the kids sleep, Beth and Carl and Noah using each other as pillows and snoozing softly, and Denise set Charlotte down in her seat her cloth doll hugged to her chest, closing the door gently. They neared the gate, but it ripped open before they could knock or rattle it.

Rick's wide eyes fixed on their faces, Michonne and Glenn behind him, and he saw the car, seeing kids in the backseat. He knew instantly Carl had shown her home, and he embraced her tightly, cradling the back of her head and thanking her.

"Carol?" Maggie ran over from the porch. "Oh, my God." She hugged her the instant Rick let her go. She wanted to cry she was so happy to see her. She didn't know she was alive, but there she was. "What...? How even?"

"Maggie, there's someone you need to see." Carol smiled at her. "C'mere."

The car door popped open, Carol and Maggie both turned to see who caused the noise, and Beth stumbled out, staring at Rick and Glenn and Michonne and Maggie. She couldn't feel her legs at the sight of her big sister, standing only feet away. She looked so beautiful, hair cropped back to how it once was at the farm, her clothes clean and fresh, and she was a good weight. She looked healthy. She looked...better than Beth could have ever imagined.

"B...Beth... Beth?" She released Carol and studied the young woman before her, taking in her scars and figure and hair. "Beth?!" She ran her hands through her hair, pushing it back form her face and dropping those hands to her mouth, the imagine of her baby sister blurred into colors, and she walked over to her, her feet steadily picking up the pace until she tackled her and held her close enough to meld with her. "Oh, my God, I love you. Oh, I love you, sweetie."

Glenn ran over to join them, numb from the excitement and realization this was no dream. "Hey."

"Hey." She laughed and embraced him. "Hi. I missed you."

"I—I can't... You're really here." Maggie touched her face and smiled. "You're...taller than I remember." She laughed as tears ran down her face, kissing both of Beth's cheeks, minding the cut, and she squeezed her tightly. "Oh, God, I have so much to tell you."

"Me, too." She buried her face in her shoulder. "I'm so glad you're all right. I knew you were. I knew I would find you again. All of you." She bawled into Maggie's shoulder, and Glenn held her tighter, feeling her body going numb from the emotion of it all.

"Where is he?" Rick held Carol's arms. "Carl?"

"He's in the car, but you need to know he's...not unharmed."

Color fled his face, and he almost fell to his knees. "Was he bitten?"

"No, but he was shot." Denise spoke up now to take the pressure off Carol. "It was just so that he lost an eye, but no permanent damage was done to his motor skills. He's the same kid, only...with one eye, but there are some physical therapy techniques I'd like to discuss once he's fully recovered."

"His eye...?" He looked back at Michonne. "Who are you?"

"She saved his life," Carol stated. "This is Denise. She's a doctor."

"I just cleaned and sewed the area. Carol kept him alive and stable, and he's going to be just fine."

"Oh, thank God." He smiled at her. "Thank you."

She returned it and stepped back towards the car. "We have another kid, Noah. He helped Beth. He's a good kid."

"He's welcome here." Michonne stepped forward. "You all are, of course. Let's get you all inside."

"I'll get the car pulled up." Carol pulled the keys from her pocket. "Why don't you get some help to carry Carl inside?"

Glenn and Maggie guided Beth inside the gates, Michonne hugged her as a greeting, and Beth asked instantly about Judith. They laughed and Michonne offered to take her to see the girl, but Beth was too emotional. She needed a minute, and she fell back to her sister for another hug, just to be sure this wasn't a dream. Maggie kissed her hair and rubbed her shoulder, and Glenn kissed his wife's cheek, whispering into her ear. She laughed, and she couldn't help the tears that prickled up in her eyes. Happy tears, of course.

Carol pulled the car into the town, Rick returned with Tyreese and Daryl for help, and Beth beamed at Daryl. He blinked at the sight of her and instantly pulled her into a hug, she was surprised, but she hugged him back and laughed. Tyreese was the next one to give her a hug, and she felt so small in their arms, but she was grateful to be given the chance to feel small in a good way.

"Carl's in the backseat." Rick opened the door. "I'll get him, but there's another kid."

"Oh, he's not injured." Denise shook her head. "Well, he's beaten up, but he'll be fine. He's just sleeping. Carol and I can rouse him."

"Carol...?" Daryl looked around and his eyes found her in the driver's seat of the car. She looked back at him with slight fear and happiness. He wasn't sure how he was looking at her, but he knew he couldn't look away or move a damn muscle.

"She brought us home." Beth nudged him. "Saved me and Carl and Noah."

Carol climbed out of the car and closed the door, looking back at Rick and Carl who were having a conversation since Rick accidentally woke him up, and she stepped forward to look at her family. Her view was instantly covered by him as he swept her up in his arms, and she smiled against his shoulder, holding onto him tightly. He lifted her off the ground and caused them both to stumble back against the ground as he held the back of her head and buried his face in her shoulder, in the scent of her. She could have melted there against him.

"Michonne." Carl stumbled out of the car, and she ran to catch him. "Okay, those pills are stronger than I thought." He chuckled. "Did we get bunnies?"

"That's chalk, honey." She chuckled at him and looked over his wrapped face, kissing his temple. "Let's get you to bed, okay?"

"The baby should be in bed, but okay. Let's go." He stumbled onward, Rick and Michonne went after him to keep him upright, and Beth giggled at the sight of him.

"I can't wait to show you around and introduce you to everybody." Maggie released Beth and Glenn. "We have a spare bed you can sleep in, but it's in with Enid, so I hope you two get along."

"Enid?" Beth cocked her head to the side. "Who is that?"

"An adopted daughter of a sort," Glenn replied. "You'll like her. We can an actual spare room, but it's loaded with junk. We'll get it cleaned out, and...we'll make you a room there."

"So, I have a nephew and a niece?"

"No, Enid's around your age. We took her under our wing. We...seemed to fit." Maggie smiled. "I'll introduce two. Well, three. She's up to feed Hershel. I heard the commotion and came out, and... God, I feel like I'm still dreamin'."

"Me too."

"I feel like breaking that up," Glenn gestured to Carol and Daryl. "Hey, she's our family too, you know."

He finally let her go and was about to speak when Charlotte began to wail, Carol wiped her eyes on her sleeve and went around to the passenger side door. Denise was by her side to see if it was food cries or potty cries, and the entire group followed, seeing the little girl grumbling into Carol's chest.

"Oh, Charlotte." Beth frowned. "What's wrong?"

"She's hungry. She slept the entire drive, so it's hunger." Carol rubbed her back, and Charli whispered softly between snuffles about a snack. "All right, but I have to dig out her food from the trunk."

"I'll do it." Denise set a hand on Charlotte's head and hurried to find her snacks.

"Thank you," Charlotte whispered, hunger scraping along her stomach, and she whined softly.

"Who is this little cutie?" Maggie smiled at the precious girl. "Charlotte?"

"Yeah, she likes Charli, too." Beth took Denise's spot and hushed the girl softly. "Grub is comin'."

She snuffled and looked at Beth with teary eyes, softly whimpering, "Mommy...now, please."

Carol stroked her back and searched for movement from Denise.

"Just one second. We gotta dig it out first." Beth swiped a tear off her cheek. "It's gonna be good. I helped make it."

"Wait." Maggie's eyes widened at the scene before her. "She—she isn't—?" Oh, God, she was an aunt, too?

"No, no. She's ain't mine." Beth did smile at her sister. "I...I only just met up with Carol again. I was in no position to have a child, trust me."

"I found the baked beets. They're a little on the hard side like she likes." Denise returned with the bag. "I know beets make her gassy, but it's like a war zone back there. Please don't make me dig through it."

"You're fine. You get to deal with it." Carol smirked at her, accepting the baggie, seeing Beth had made them into little hearts. How sweet.

Denise glared. "It's not my fault you buried her favorite somewhere else."

"Because I told you to leave space up front for her bag, but you didn't."

"I was already outside for the millionth time, and you never said that."

She narrowed her eyes. "I did say it."

"Wow, I thought we bickered a lot." Glenn smirked. "You two married or what?"

"She wishes." Carol adjusted her daughter in her arms, cracking the bag open and handing her a beet to nibble on. Charli took the bag and helped herself, munching happily. "I met Denise a long time ago. She's like a sister to me. She saved my life."

"We're glad to have her." Maggie set a hand on her shoulder, and Denise returned her welcoming smile. "So...um, about the girl? Did you find her, too? Or is she—?"

"She's mine." Carol didn't look at Daryl and thanked Denise for getting the food for her.

"Oh!" Maggie tried not to look so stunned. "Oh! Now Hershel has someone to play with. Judith is off with Michonne now, and RJ is such a big brother lover, so if you don't mind us watchin' her, he could use the company. He's a bit shy."

"That's fine. I just need someone to feed her and see if she has to use the bathroom." She could only juggle so much. "Is there a place I can?"

"Yeah, I'll show you." Tyreese gestured back towards his and Sasha's home. "It's nearby, and we have some spare diapers if she needs a change. We have a potty, too, if she's trained."

"We are in the process of training, so both would be great." She accepted Charli's bag from Denise and fell into step with Tyreese, hushing her hungry girl and avoiding eye contact.

"Big day." Glenn cleared his throat. "Why don't we get you guys unpacked, eh? Wake up this Noah and get to meet him."

Glenn and Maggie helped Beth sort her things from the others, which didn't take long, and Daryl helped Denise carry the food to Olivia's pantry. Denise spoke just to fill dead air, because Daryl wasn't speaking at all. Noah offered to lend a hand, but Beth insisted he come and rest. Glenn knew Rick had space enough for another boy, and he would take him over later. They didn't mind the extra company for now. They just didn't have enough room for their son, Enid and Beth and Noah. But they'd love to have him tonight and get to know him. He seemed to mean a lot to Beth, so he meant a lot to them, too. They'd know sure he felt at home, because he was. They all were.

With the car unpacked, it was time for a tour. Beth didn't let go of Noah's hand as they followed her sister and brother-in-law through the town, and Noah began to wake up to the idea of this being home. It felt odd, almost too full, but Beth's hand in his was a warm reassurance that even though they could get lost here, he wasn't alone. He needed that right now.

Denise went through the medicine and set it on the counter.

"Yo." A dark-haired woman approached her with towels and sheets. "I heard we had a new doctor in town. It's nice to know I can come here and not hear awful singing while getting a check up."

"No promises." She laughed nervously. "I'm Denise."

"Tara." She shook her hand. "I bring clean things. I'm on laundry today, and I heard we had new people, so here I am. Um, if you need anything, come find me. I'm literally right down the hall. Mordin sleeps downstairs and doesn't bother anybody. He's in his own little world, so don't worry. I trust him like a nerdy brother."

"Thank you." She accepted the towels. "Tara."

"The shower's clear now. It gets hot, and it's nice to scrub the world off before settling in." She smiled at her. "Welcome home."

"I guess so."

"Don't guess. It's home. I'll give you a tour later if you want. I'm fast with laundry."

"Umm, I have a lot to unpack," Denise started, gesturing to the living room where Daryl left her belongings.

"Well, that's cool, too. I have a lot towels to fold."

"No, wait." She closed the space between them before Tara could leave. "I just... I mean, it'll be better to shower after all that. So, why not show me around then, please?" She smiled awkwardly, the left side of her mouth pulling higher, but Tara found it adorable.

"Okay. I'll help you carry those upstairs then we'll head out."

"Great."

Across town Carol put Charlotte down on the couch to change her diaper, assuring her this new home was all right. They both had their anxieties about it, but they were here for whatever that meant. Maybe she could finally get this kid potty trained. Trying to teach her at the grove was a challenge. And the cloth diapers could only last so long.

"Oh, my big girl." She tossed the old diaper in the trash and searched her eyes. "You want to meet your family? I know some people who are going to love meeting you."

"I know I'm one of them." Rick stood in the doorway with some spare clothes from Judith and extra diapers for the potty process. He still struggled with RJ. Judith was easy and mostly pushed off on Nina. But he wanted to be there for RJ since Michonne's efforts weren't working. It was a work in progress. They'd get there. "A gift for her."

"Thank you."

He set them on the couch and drew closer, looking her over and seeing her looking him over right back. She looked just like Carol with the same eyes and chin, but that nose wasn't her mother's. That lovely hair wasn't either. But by God was she precious. The sight of her warmed his heart.

"May I?"

"Sure. Do you wanna meet Rick?" Charli looked at the man and nodded. Carol handed her over to Rick, who cradled her gently to his chest and smiled a greeting at her. "Say hi. This is...a friend."

She stared at Rick and reached out to couch his beard, having never seen one before. "Uh-uh."

He laughed. "What, you don't like me?"

"Fuzzy, like the carpet." She frowned and poked at his beard some more. "Weird."

"Charli, don't." Carol tried to get her to stop, but she was so interested in this new thing, and Rick assured her it was okay.

"She's amazing." He brushed her hair from her face and chuckled at her. "Hello, Charlotte." He glanced at her for confirmation, and she nodded. "I'm Rick Grimes."

"Rimes..." She tried it out for herself, over exaggerating the movement of her small mouth. "Grr... Grimes."

He chuckled through his nose at her.

"Hello." She touched his nose now, moving on from the beard and felt a bump there, a scar. "Mine."

"If you can get it off, I think you earned it."

"Min _e_ ," she repeated, stretching the E to be silly, because she knew about scars. Her mommy had them, and she didn't want him to be sad like her mommy was sometimes. "I...have it. Noooose. Grrrrime nooooose."

Carol chuckled and crossed her arms. "One magic trick, and she's obsessed."

He looked at Carol now, his lips forming an apologetic frown, and he set a hand on her arm. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." She nodded. "It's been a long time since we last spoke. Things are forgiven on my end, but if you want me to leave—"

"No, no, I don't. I was wrong." He searched her eyes. "I was wrong, and I want you here. You saved my son. You—you saved him and brought him home. You brought Beth home. I can't repay that, but I can try."

"Is this for me, or for her?"

"You. Without question, it's for you." He rubbed the toddler's arm with his thumb. "And as for her? How...did she happen? I didn't know you were involved with anybody." He paled, the weight of this sweet bundle very apparent to him, and his mouth dried. "Oh, God, Carol, I didn't—"

"You did." She nodded and sat down on the couch behind her. "I was about five months pregnant when you exiled me."

"I—I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I thought—"

"You were doing what you thought was best for our family, and I understood it at the time. She survived just fine. She's chubby little thing. You feel that weight, right? All sweet potatoes and carrots. She eats like a damn horse."

He laughed. "It suits her."

"Yes, but breast feeding her was a nightmare."

"How was birthing her? Did you encounter any problems?"

She shook her head. "No. Denise...was no real help, but I've gone through it before. It was probably an hour or so tops once she crowned. She was eager to be in the world."

"So...someone at the prison?"

"That's not important."

"It is. We didn't all make it out, and he may have died."

"Rick, it's okay. We've made it just fine the two of us."

"It won't be just the two of you anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Carol!"

She jolted when the 13 year old tackled her on the couch, and she pulled the girl back and gasped, embracing her tightly. "Mika. Oh, my God." She closed her eyes and held her tightly. "You're here?"

"Yeah! I missed you so much!" Her smile brightened back up 100% at Carol just being there. "Tyreese saved me, and we got Judith out. We met Glenn and Maggie on the road after, and we all went to Terminus."

Carol's eyes widened. "You—you were there, too?"

"I don't remember it, but Ty said it wasn't a good place. He carried me out and told me not to look." She could remember screaming, gunfire, smoke. The walkers sounded so close.

"We were damn lucky to get out of there." Rick sighed and took a seat himself. "It was a nightmare, but someone attacked them, and we used it to escape. We found this place a month or two later while performin' a fools errand." Rick caught Carol's smirk at "someone attacked them" and narrowed his eyes.  _She couldn't have..._

"We thought there was a cure." Mika frowned. "He lied, though."

"It sounds like we all have stories." Carol rubbed her thumb over the braid in her hair. "I am so happy to see you. I thought I never would again."

"I'm glad you're finally here. I waited and waited, and Ron told me to give up, that you were dead, but you're here." She grinned. "I can't wait to show you around. And our house is huge! It's like a mansion."

"Oh, Mika, I haven't decided where I'll stay, or if it's okay that I stay there. I have a baby."

"A baby?" She looked over at Rick and gasped. "Oh, my gosh." She flew off the couch and over to the baby. "Hi."

"Nose." Charlotte was glaring, because she couldn't get their nose like Mommy had gotten hers. She did like all the people, so she waved. "Hi."

Carol smirked. "That is Charlotte. She's your little sister, Mika."

"I have a sister?" She grinned. "Very cool." She tucked hair behind her ear and looked her over. "She's yours. She looks just like you."

"Yes, I gave birth to her three years ago."

"Did it hurt?"

"It did, but she was a champ. She came into the world so quick." She snapped her fingers, Mika laughed, and Charlotte looked over instantly at the sound. "She's going to love you, Mika."

"I already like her. I can't wait to show you the house. I've cleaned my room up, and Tyreese says we have a room next to mine, so you can stay there. Sasha and Abe took the upstairs rooms, but it's okay. It's better to be downstairs, so we can get breakfast first."

"Tyreese has been taking care of you?"

She nodded. "Like Dad used to."

"That's great, Mika, but I'll need to see if it's okay with the entire house. Charlotte is very young, and it can...a difficult transition."

"Okay, but I'll move with you if you pick another home."

"Mika, you don't have to."

"I want to." She slid off the couch and grasped her hand. "I love Tyreese, but I love you more. You told Dad you'd take care of me, and I want you too. I want to be a big sister. Please, Carol."

She smiled at her softly and nodded. "Okay, where I go, you go."

"Yes!" She hugged her. "I love you, Carol."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

A knock on the wall caught their attention, a woman with long black hair stood before them with a basket and massive welcoming smile that was so authentic it made Carol's mouth hurt. She couldn't be older than thirty, curves hugging the cargo pants she wore, a shine of metal peeking out from the hem of her t-shirt.

"Nina." Rick greeted her. "I wondered when you'd come by."

"Nina...?" Carol ran her eyes over her. "I'm—"

"Carol, yes, I know." She entered the room and set the basket down on the couch beside her. "I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm just so excited to meet you all. It's mostly jams and jerky and some toys for the baby. I heard we had a baby and new people, who returned Carl to us. And I couldn't resist." She laced her fingers together. "I'm no welcoming committee, but I wanted to come and introduce myself. I'm Nina Rizzoli. I work with meal prep and teach English and do story time for the kids. If you need anything, please don't hesitate come and find me. I'm happy to help out."

"You teach?"

"Yes, though the best teacher I've met is Tyreese. He's so great with the students, and they adore him. I hope I can learn from him." She loosened her hands and met Carol's eyes. "I know you've known them longer than I have and clearly saved Carl just out of love, but thank you for bringing him home. And bringing you and your family along with him. We...always welcome newcomers. Or, you know...oldcomers? I'm not sure how to word it."

"Family," Rick corrected. "They're family."

She nodded and spotted the toddler in his arms, peeking at Carol with pleading in her eye. "Could I hold her? I know I'm a stranger and all, but I adore kids. And she'll always be a baby. Carl's even a baby to me."

Carol smiled at that. She felt the same way, honestly. "It's fine, but be gentle." She didn't know if Charlotte even wanted to be held by this stranger. She knew Rick from Carol's womb, but this woman? Not a clue. She should have asked Charli first, but she worried Nina might just snatch her anyway. At least Carol wouldn't have to punch her this way.

"Of course." She picked the girl up from Rick's arms and was impressed by her weight. She was beautiful and healthy, and she looked somehow familiar to her. It wasn't a feeling so much as the girl's face drew another face to memory, but she couldn't quite place it. "Aww, look at you."

Charli fixed her eyes on the woman silently.

"What's her name?"

"It's Charlotte." She crossed her legs and nudged Mika in the side. "This is my other daughter, Mika, but you know her."

"Yes, she is my star student." Nina winked at the girl. "She spoke of you fondly. I'm glad we get to meet you. I love happy endings, and it's lovely this can be one."

"Yeah, I suppose it is." She noticed Charlotte hadn't introduced herself or said anything, and she stood up to take her. "She's not used to so many people."

"It's fine. I don't want to overwhelm her." She handed her over to her mother, Charlotte rested her head on her shoulder, bringing her thumb to her mouth, and Nina rubbed her back. "I'm really good with kids, so if you need a babysitter or someone to help her learn—I'm your girl. And potty trainer well, too. Judy was a snap."

"I'll think about it." She wasn't going to think about it. "I should go look around, see where we'll be laying our heads tonight."

"Ooh, let me show you everything!" Mika beamed. "C'mon!"

"I'll get back to my class." She smiled at Carol. "If you need anything or want to talk, I'm just down the street. The house with the ducks on the porch. Painted, of course, but um, please don't hesitate to come and find me. I welcome all company."

"Thanks."

Mika showed Carol around town, introducing her and Charlotte to the people of Alexandria, who fawned over the three year old. Charli was loving the attention and was fond of different faces. She was not shy at all about touching and tugging and judging. Carol had to apologize to a couple people when Charlotte openly called out a flaw, but luckily she was precious, and no one seemed to mind the little girl's babbling. Mika loved to show them around and introduce her family, but Carol honestly didn't feel like a family. With Charlotte, yes, and with Mika, yes, but not all three together. Those families were separated in her mind, and it unnerved her to think like that. They were all her family. Weren't they?

Mika ran into Tara and Denise, and Tara introduced herself with a charming smile. Charlotte was instantly amused by her and reached out to be in her arms. Tara was legitimately tempted to kidnap one child. She adored Judith and Hershel and RJ, and now she was going to kidnap this one. Glenn was like a brother to her and Michonne would break her like a stick, but she could possible outrun... out walk... drive away from Carol.

"I like your," Charlotte made binoculars with her hands and placed them over her eyes, "eyes."

"Aww, I love your eyes, too. I might have to trade you." Tara smirked, and Mika giggled. "Mika here won't share, but you would share your eyes with me?"

"I would...rent them," Charli stated.

"Great, end of the world and the kids are trying to con me."

Carol laughed. "I didn't even know she knew that word."

"Yeah, I was told her a story about my rent to get her to sleep the other night," Denise replied. "She actually found it interesting and asked me for more. Once I started talking about my house plants, she passed out. I really miss that apartment."

"You'll make a home here." Tara assured her, "And I have some plants dyin' in my room, so just take them and save them. I don't know why Rosita thought I could keep them alive. I barely remember to feed Hershy when I watch him."

"That's a joke," Mika blurted to Carol and Denise. "She's really good at remembering."

"Because if I did forget, I'd have a badass mother burying me before I could come up with an apology."

"I wouldn't hurt you." Maggie strolled over to them, hands on her hips.

"I didn't say  _hurt_ ," Tara retorted.

"Yeah, yeah." She crossed her arms and smiled at Charlotte. "Hey, Carol, this is my baby boy."

Beth and Glenn approached them, Hershel in Beth's arms, and Carol could see Maggie and Glenn written all over his chubby face. He kept staring at Beth, and Beth was just bursting with joy at the mere sight of him. Carol knew she wasn't going to pry that boy out of her arms, but she was fine with looking. Later she would hold him and maybe smother him just a little bit.

"Hey, Hersh." Tara walked over to Beth. "This is your new girl friend. You'll laugh and braid each others hair and diss me when you're thirteen and think I'm lame."

Hershel looked over at Tara and blinked at Charlotte before smiling and waving at her. Charlotte reached out for his hand, and surprisingly Hershel took her hand.

"Aww." Tara set her cheek on Charlotte's head. "You know I can never move from this spot now. I didn't sign on for this."

Maggie snickered. "I guess he does have a friend. It's not surprisin'. They are family."

"But if they do get married," Mika tossed out, "then you'll be even more of a family."

Carol crossed her arms. "If that's true, that little adorable bundle, who I fully intend to snuggle, better not touch her yams. She might actually hit someone."

"She likes sweet potatoes?" Glenn inquired.

"She loves them." Beth shifted her weight. "I picked one up, and she yelled at me to put it down.  _Yelled_."

"I make a good sweet potato pie," Maggie teased the girl who looked immediately at her at the mention of the word. "It's soft and sweet, and it's blended with some veggies. Mom used to make it with me."

"I love sweetie potatoes," Charli stated. "They're all mine."

"Oh, all the potatoes are yours?" Tara arched a brow, and Charlotte nodded. "But they're mine. You can't have any."

"No, they... they are mine." She poked her own face to emphasis who they belonged to. "You...you can have...trees."

"Trees?" Tara looked back at Carol.

"Broccoli," she answered.

"Nice." She nodded. "We might have a deal, but let's talk amount."

"Oh, my God." Beth rolled her eyes and laughed at Tara having a serious conversation about potatoes with Charlotte and hugged Hershel closer. "Have you seen this place, Carol?"

"It's huge." She nodded. "Beautiful. Like...like before."

"With solar power and a farm." Denise nudged Carol. "They have a real clinic and a vast garden."

"I saw. It seems great. You guys have a good thing here." She cleared her throat. "I liked our place, but you guys are happy and safe. I'm glad for you."

"For  _us_." Maggie searched her eyes. "And we're happy and safe. You're a part of us."

"We have a house for you." Glenn stepped backwards towards the house. "You have Mika and Charlotte, so I got clearance to pretty much give you this house. It's a three bedroom, two bath, smaller than most homes, but Daryl and Abe and co did build it. We were going to take it, but we need the room now for Beth."

"A whole house just for us?" Mika's eyes widened. "The stone one?"

"Brick," Glenn corrected. "But yeah. It's nice. It's the fourth home we've built ourselves, and it's well taken care of. We hooked up appliances a few weeks ago, and it has beds. We'll have to get one for Charli, but Judith's old bed should do. It's in good shape."

"Speaking of shape, I have my own part to play to keep this place in order, so I have to get back to my chores." Tara handed the girl back to her mother. "And Noah's been put with me for the week to show him the ropes of the wall and 2nd shift, so I should go."

"I have to unpack and get that clinic into working order." Denise was happy to just say those words. "I'll stop by once I get settled in, okay?"

Carol nodded.

"It's about time for his nap." Maggie smoothed down her son's light brown hairs. "You want me to come with you?"

"No, it's fine. I know the way back. I'll come by and check out your new place, okay?" Beth nodded and waved to Carol and Mika, heading back home—home—to put her nephew down for a nap. She wanted to shadow Tara and Noah to learn how patrol and watch were kept, though she wanted to work with the kids. She would do better there. She could fight, but it wasn't something she wanted to constantly be doing. After three years of constant small wars, she needed a break.

"Hey, I know you're probably tired of being passed around like a loaf of bread, but could I?" Glenn asked the girl resting on her mother's chest, and Charli giggled at him, poking his nose with her finger. "I'm asking for consent, and you poke me."

"We haven't really talked much on consent." Carol adjusted Charlotte so Glenn could hold her. "I figured with only me and Denise, there wasn't a lot of need for that conversation just yet. She knows she can say no, though."

"Well, I ask." He held his hands out, Charli nodded, and he picked her up. "All right, let's show you guys home." Glenn grinned and nudged Mika's shoulder. "You lead the way."

"Okay. I know a short cut."

"Just no poison ivy this time."

"That wasn't my fault. That was Sam's." She marched onward with Glenn and bickered playfully about this incident.

Maggie inhaled and looked over at Carol. "How have you been?"

"It's been good." She didn't make eye contact. "It's been safe and fun and nice."

"And Charli?"

"She's been...a breath of life when I didn't know I needed one. I wouldn't have been able to come so far without her, and I'm grateful to have had such a good friend to help keep her alive and raise her."

"I feel the same way about Hershel. After losin' Dad and the prison and Beth...and so many others once we settled here, I needed a reason to keep goin'. I had Glenn and family, but...I watched my father die before my eyes, and my baby sister was just gone. I was miserable and isolated myself. I wouldn't let anybody close to me for months, and...I noticed some things. No period, stomach pains, increase in hunger and fatigue...then the cravin'." She chuckled. "I knew instantly I was pregnant, and it snapped me out of my rut. Glenn and the others were there to yank me out completely, but Hershel was the start. He's my very soul."

"Aren't all children?"

"True." She smiled softly. "She's a miracle, Carol. I... I have no words to describe how much of a miracle your little girl is."

"Because I'm old?" Carol mused.

"No, of course not. She's a miracle, because of what happened at the time of her being born. The excile, the prison falling, limited supplies, the devistation of knowing the chances of finding home were slim... She stayed strong and came into this world stronger, just like Judith." She tucked hair behind her ear. "She's a miracle."

"You know I was exiled?"

She nodded. "But only me and Daryl know. The prison fell shortly after. It's a secret kept among us, so won't worry."

"I suppose." She smiled faintly. "She is a miracle, but don't let her know that. It'll go straight to her head."

She chuckled. "No promises." She hummed and exhaled. "Did her father know you were pregnant?"

"Why is everyone so invested in news of her father?"

"Because you hardly showed interest in anyone at the prison, and it's a shock. Honestly, for you to have had her at all, it's...so bizarre. You knew the risks with Lori, and you knew the risks of this world. Did her father?"

"He had no idea I was pregnant. I found out after the prison fell." She inhaled and spotted the house a few yards away. "Is that it?"

"Yep, Daryl's pride and joy." She chuckled. "He designed it with Glenn, built it Abe and the construction crew, and we furnished it."

"Shouldn't Daryl be living here?"

"He likes to be close to Rick and Michonne. They've gotten closer since...everything happened, and maybe he and Nina would move in."

What felt like ice-coated fingernails ran down Carol's back, sending that chill seeping into her bone and her chest. It was the type of swift frost that swept through a town at night and blanketed it in beautiful white, only there was nothing beautiful about this feeling. It was gray and sharp and bright. Carol inhaled and nodded. "Are they together?"

"She's been tryin'." Maggie laughed. "Ever since we got here, but he hasn't shown much interest. I think he's comin' around to the idea of it. He's sweet to her. He stays up and keeps guard with her. He bring her food. He's attentive to her. They're sweet."

"I'll bet." She forced a smile and caught up to Mika and Glenn, Charli was watching her from over Glenn's shoulder, and she lost the forced smile. Charli could always break through any false emotions Carol put up. It was a blessing and a curse. One look into her eyes, and all the walls were tumbling down.

"Welcome home." Glenn opened the front door, Charli looked over inside the house, and Glenn set her down to let her check the place out.

It smelled of untouched furnishings and dried flowers. The first two rooms held archways instead of doorways, leading from the dining room on the right, and the living room on the left. The walls were empty, a hue of clean light blue. The floors were all wood, but there were several carpets thrown down, and Charli was already trying to drag one off. Mika went after her to stop her, but luckily it was too heavy. She fell hard onto her butt, grunting, but she didn't cry. She instead moved on to the next thing, and Mika was took it upon herself to follow and protect her.

Maggie showed Carol through the dining room to the kitchen, showing all of Daryl and Abe's hard work. They returned through the dining room and passed the staircase to the enter the living room. There was a spare room just beyond the living room, but they hadn't found anything to do with it yet. The girls were running around there, and Carol suspected a play room would be nice. If it made Chari and Mika smile and laugh like they were then it was perfect. She wanted to see those smiles every day.

Upstairs was shaped just like downstairs. Only instead of dining room leading into a kitchen, there were two bedrooms with an adjoining bathroom, and across the way was the master bed and bathroom. It was beautifully painted, a soft gold that would catch fire with the evening light, and the bed was made up in heavy blankets for the coming winter. Maggie told her Nina had heavily influenced the colors of the entire house. She and Abe were close, so she helped him paint it, and Daryl had no opinion or argument to offer. He just let them have at it while he went on to his next project.

"Kinda upset Nina." Maggie sat on the edge of the bathtub, looking at Carol as she tested out the shower pressure. "This was to be his home, and he has no preference on its design? Well, inside design."

"That's just Daryl. He doesn't care about paint or blankets. He'd live in this place with neither and be fine with it." She shook water off her hand. "Everyone knows that."

"Maybe  _you_  know that, but not her. She's still kinda miffed over it, I think. Especially when I told her we were giftin' the house to y'all. Daryl said he was fine with it. He wanted you to have it, but apparently that was just his singular opinion."

"Well, unless they were moving in, it shouldn't concern her." She didn't mean to sound so harsh, because she seemed like a nice woman, but it was difficult adjusting. For everyone.

"I'm sure she's feelin' for Daryl. I mean, he spent so long plannin' it and buildin' it just to give it up? She's trying to be a voice for him." She leaned against the counter. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Honestly, I don't know." She gripped the edge of the sink and shook her head. "Doesn't matter. I should check on the girls."

"It does matter, Carol." She searched her eyes. "I don't have anything against you. I still trust you and respect you. We're both mothers and survivors of this world. You can talk to me. I hope you know that."

Carol inhaled. "Can I?"

"Of course." She set a hand on her shoulder. "I'm here for you. I know adjusting is difficult, but it'll come when it comes. Just try and ease it along if you can. If you can't, come talk to me. We can talk while our babies smash blocks and cause chaos in my office."

She smiled at the thought. "That sounds nice."

"Mommy!" Charlotte ran into the room and grasped Carol's leg. "I love it!"

Carol ruffled her hair. "Well, good, because...we'll be here for a while."

"Yay." She grinned. "Can we go ups? I wanna see everything!"

"I do, too, so let's check it out." She scooped her up. "This means I'm going to have to gate her off."

"Daryl and Abe already made gates for the little ones. I can spare one. It's...kinda mess with its paint job, but it works well." She smiled at Charlotte. "She's so sweet. I just wanna pinch her cheeks."

"No." Charlotte slapped her hands over her cheeks. "No touchy."

Carol laughed lightly at this reaction. All those older people couldn't resist her puffy cheeks. It was an adorable and justified reaction.

"I won't." She held up a hand. "I promise."

Carol left the conversation and showed Charlotte around the upstairs, the pair admiring the space and the work put into it. Charlotte mostly like the windows and the soft rugs. Carol let her roam a bit, blocking the stairs, and she wore herself out looking at all the new things. Carol would have to do a check to fully proof the house, but for now she would just keep an eye on her. They'd share a room until she felt settled enough for Charli to sleep alone. If she ever felt settled, that was. Her home felt miles away, and her body was restless. She was thrilled to see the others, but she felt she didn't want to stay here. Almost like she couldn't. After all this time...his words still rang out in her mind.

"Mommy!"

Carol nearly fell down the stairs when Charlotte jumped on her and hugged her tight. She caught her balance and stepped forward, adjusting the girl on her hips. She tried to smile, but her heart was pounding. The sooner they had the gate, the better. She didn't want to take a tumble down the stairs. She might not get back up. Odd. She used to make that joke before when she'd go to the hospital with a dislocated shoulder. Only the first few times did they laught. Suspicious eyeing began to follow for the next visit, and then Carol just couldn't go back.

"You look sad again." Charlotte wrapped her arms around her mom's neck.

"Oh, look can say L now." Carol smirked for her daughter's sake. "You shouldn't hide that you're learning words, honey. I'm proud that you're so smart."

She inhaled and nodded. "Familiar...words."

"What do you mean?" She tucked loose hair behind her ear and saw her struggle to find the words. "You know someone here?"

She nodded. "Grimes."

"Yeah, Rick is someone from my past."

"But...more," she added, trying to think of how to say it. "Someone...else. No face, but...familiar words?"

"You remember a voice?" She nodded, happy her mom understood. "Baby, I was around all these people when I was pregnant with you. You've heard them before, even though you've never met them."

She pursed her lips, nose scrunched as she tried to process that, and she groaned to dismiss it mere seconds later. "Thirsty. I want water, please."

"Coming right up."

They met up with Glenn, Maggie and Mika in the kitchen, Carol wished she had a sippy cup to avoid spills, but her bag was at Tyreese's still. She helped Charlotte hold the glass and drink from it, Mika and Glenn offered to go grab their stuff, and Maggie admitted she'd asked Daryl to bring it over. He'd use the car, of course, but he was the only one off-duty today. Glenn and she had a meeting in a couple minutes to discuss what Jesus had brought to their attention last week. She didn't go into details, but it could majorly change everything. In hopefully an okay way at worst.

"And you have class," Maggie reminded her. "You have an exam to make up."

Mika frowned. "I passed it, though."

"Barely. Nina is giving you a second chance, so don't waste it." Maggie felt like her mother, but she'd gotten close to Mika on the road. She kept an eye on her, especially when her body began to change and nature claimed one week of her life per month. "I'll walk you, if you want."

"But I want to stay with Carol. She's been gone for three years." She was begging. She could take the test any day of the week, but today was special. She had a part of her family back, and maybe some part of her would come back with it. After all she'd been through in the last three years, she needed Carol. She really did. "Can't it wait?"

"You'll have to find Nina and ask, so scoot." Maggie lightly nudged her shoulder and waved goodbye to Carol and Charli. "Come by for dinner tonight."

"Yeah, that'd be nice." Carol gripped the glass once Charlotte had enough.

"If you need anything, come find us or Olivia. Daryl should drop by in a couple minutes." Glenn smiled goodbye and headed out after his wife.

"Oh, boy." Carol finished off the water and set the cup in the sink. She shook her head and noticed Charlotte was walking off. "Where're you going?"

"To close the door." She pointed to the semi-open door. "That's bad manners."

She chuckled. "It is. You'll have to remind them."

Charlotte moved to close the door when it opened suddenly, she stumbled back and fell, and Carol rushed to her side when she began to whimper and cry. She found Daryl dropping everything he held to try and comfort her, but Charlotte wouldn't let him near. She shuffled backwards, picked herself up and ran to Carol, who held her and soothed her.

"Shit, she okay?" He wanted to console as he did Judith, but he didn't want to make her cry more. He didn't know if he hit her with the door or not. She dropped like a stone, but he didn't see her holding her head like it'd been injured. Fuck, did he hurt her?

"She's fine. You just scared her is all." Carol rubbed her back. "It's okay, baby. It's just... It's okay."

He dropped his eyes to the floor as Carol hushed the girl, unsure of what to say or how to avoid asking how this kid was hers and how she'd been and if she was okay. If they were okay. Honestly, he used to dream about this day, about her coming through those gates, and reuniting with all of them. He didn't know it was possible after months became years. He'd wanted to travel back to the prison to see if she was in that area, but Rick wouldn't allow it. He said they needed him here to help these people adjust to the reality of this world, to help with the wolves, to help with the downed wall. More and more things build into the reasons why he couldn't leave, and he said fuck it one day. He grabbed a bag, some supplies and grabbed his bike, but Michonne was waiting for him at the gate. He tried to ignore her, but she set a hand on his shoulder and said she knew what Carol really meant to him. She'd figured it out while they were in Gabriel's church and Abe talked about Washington. Leaving the area entirely made him sick to his stomach, and he left the church without touching his meal. He sat in the dark and honestly tried not to cry. It'd been so hard. After all they'd been through in the last couple months, having been with Beth and losing her only to find Maggie a month or later, trying to survive Terminus, and all the while knowing Carol was out here alone with whatever Rick had told her. Knowing all their plans weren't going to happen, because they hadn't found her. Each other, yes. His daughter through loving Carol, yes, but not a hint of her. He was miserable the entire way, but Mika helped. She reminded him of Beth, and he had to protect her. He became a protector for her, and she helped him heal somewhat. He hoped if he or they ever saw Carol again, he could proudly tell he did right by her and by Mika. And he could now, but...

He never thought it would be like this. He never thought she would drive through those gates all these years later and still have this affect on him. That her face could calm the entire world around him and steady him instantly, but at the same time shake his entire core. It wasn't in the good way it used to be, because it wasn't just Carol. There was Carol and so many questions. It was Carol and a stranger who became family to her and this kid and... He never thought it would feel like this. Less relief and more jealousy as he watched her move and think and live for the child she held in her arms. It was stupid to be jealous. He knew that, but it felt like agony to have so near and yet feel like he'd lost her to someone else. He didn't think it could hurt more to see her and know she was all right than to miss her and not know. But he had lost her, and he didn't know if it was to this kid...or to whoever her father was. Whoever came after him... His mouth ran down, and he cleared his throat.

His mind was a muddled mess since she came back, and he wanted to talk. That was why he accepted the task of bringing her belongings over. He wanted to ask her how she'd been, how they'd made it, and he wanted to know about this kid. He thought maybe she wasn't biologically hers. He thought she could have been a kid she picked up along the way, like how Rick and he had some across Gracie, but those eyes were too similar. That mouth and those freckles. It was her child, but he couldn't see who the father might have been in her little face. She was beautiful, just like her mother, and her very existence baffled him. There was no way she could be... No. Right?

"I'm real sorry."

Carol coaxed Charlotte's face from her shoulder, she scrubbed at her eyes and whined softly, and Carol kissed her cheek. "It's okay. He's a friend. It's Daryl. You remember? We talked about Daryl."

Charlotte snuffled and looked at the man. "Daryl?"

He couldn't imagine a weirder sound than this girl saying his name like she knew him, and it was a clumsy pronunciation of the name. It was cute, because it almost seemed like she and Carol had worked on saying it, but he couldn't be sure. Maybe she was just smart. To be Carol's daughter, she had to be.

"Do you want to say hi?" Carol whispered at her daughter.

She dried her eyes and dropped her hand to her mom's shoulder. "It's the same."

"The same?" Daryl was confused, and he didn't know what she meant. "What does that mean?"

"And the voice, Mommy." She whispered this to Carol with a smile, proud she had placed it, and Carol couldn't help the burning in her eyes. "I found it."

"You did." She rubbed her thumb over her back. "You can talk to him, if you want."

"I can?" She looked over at Daryl. "Hiya."

"Hey." He felt uneasy about this entire situation. His mind was racing, and he wanted to leave. He had so many questions he wanted answered, but he couldn't ask. He couldn't, because he'd get emotional. He might get hurt, or worse he'd hurt her, and he didn't want this kid caught up in it. Whether she was Carol or not—likely hers due to the same damn eyes—he couldn't be here. He couldn't process this right now. After three goddamn years of not seeing her, his first reaction was to hug her and hold her close, but now... now he needed to sit back a bit, see how they'd changed and how they moved forward from there. Easier done together, but the kid was scared of him. "I should go."

"Wait, Daryl." Carol reached out for him, but he drew back, and her hand fell back to her side. She was stunned, to be honest, and her chest ached. It'd been three years, and he just wanted to leave? She had thought of this moments for years, and it had always been happy. He would know Charlotte was his daughter, and he would be happy. She thought he might even cry, because their love had a form now, and she was beautiful. She was perfect. She was just like him without even knowing him, and she had the same energy and expressions. He'd know by that, and they could build from that.

She knew now they couldn't fall back into how they were before. He was involved with someone else or trying to be involved with someone else. It made her ache, and she wanted to demand to know why. She had gotten lonely, too, but never did she think of moving on from what they had. She didn't have a man around, but even if there was one, no one could come close to what Daryl meant to her. She thought it was mutual, but here they were. They stood apart, awkward and seeking an escape, and he didn't even look at his own daughter for very long. If he did, he'd see it. But he didn't. Maybe he couldn't. If he thought just because he moved on, she had to, he was dead wrong. It made the pain worse to consider that angle, and she wanted to scream at him. She wanted to just say she's yours, to let him know about this life they created three years ago, but if he couldn't see it... if he doubted her this much... If he thought so little of their relationship and what they had...

Her throat tightened, and she dropped her eyes. "Thank you for bringing our things. I appreciate it."

"Well, Maggie asked, so..." He shuffled his feet and tucked his hands into his pockets. "Um, Rick's makin' some pork roast if you wanna come by—"

"Maggie invited us over." She interrupted him almost immediately, unable to stand here and talk to him like they hadn't spent seven amazing months together, making love and being in love and finding peace in each others arms. She needed him to leave. Immediately, because she didn't want to cry in front of him and their daughter. She needed to think about those seven months and see if they really were on the same page or if she was just blinded by her own feelings. She didn't believe that, but she needed to clear her head, because how could she want him to leave after three years of trying to find him? God, what happened to them? Did he really love someone else now? Was that morning their last morning together? Did three years wipe clean every promise and I love you and every tender moment? God, that can't be right. It can't be. "But thanks for the suggestion. Maybe later we can have a dinner, you know, when she's comfortable around you."

"Yeah, uh, right. I get it." He glanced at the kid then stepped back, clearing his throat. "Welcome home, Carol."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, turning them to her daughter. "Yeah."

He dropped his eyes and grasped the door knob, tugging it shut on his way out, and he stayed there for a moment. His eyes burned, and he wanted to go back inside and apologize. He wanted to ask questions and get answers, but a wall was up now. One of the walls they spent weeks knocking down and building their relationship, and it was his own fault. His apprehension got the better of him. It was bullshit. He should have just said fuck it and held them both. It didn't matter, and it didn't, because she was right there. That was all that mattered. Christ, how bad did he just fuck it all up?


	6. Mom And Dad

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Carol closed the door on her and Charlotte, letting her play with her toys on the bed and unpacking her things. She didn't have everything, purposefully leaving the majority of her clothes at the grove, and she had intended to go back once she dropped Carl and Beth and Noah off. She didn't know where Denise stood, but she wasn't sure she could be here. Around all these people after all this time. She felt unwelcome here, despite the welcome she'd received, and she didn't want to unpack. She wanted to grab her things and leave. She'd left food and supplies back at the grove, and she could live out her life there with Charlotte. It was safe there. It was home there. Not here. It was cold and honest and excruciating here. She never thought she could feel that way around family, but there it was.

And maybe she should go. Mika could come with her, to help ease the burden of raising Charlotte, and to help around the grove. She would love. Fresh fruit and pecans in the spring, so many wildflowers and deer that came through. It was scenic and calming and the first and only home she had. Her daughter learned to walk and talk there. She learned how to eat solids there. She laughed and grew and was loved there, and those memories were etched into the walls. It was warm and truly a home, not like this place. She felt like she didn't belong, like she was intruding, and she couldn't do it.

It would be cruel for her to leave, but only because Mika would want to come. She'd have to leave everyone she loved behind and not see them for a long time. If ever again. She couldn't ask Mika to do that, but Mika wanted to be where Carol was. Carol knew she could raise these girls out there in the quiet, and they could be a family. They could grow there and laugh and feel the joy that had been there for years. They could become sisters there, and Carol wanted that more than anything. She wanted them to love each other and protect each other. She knew Mika might have to learn again how to defend herself, but she was older now. Perhaps a little wiser, and Mika could be ready to stand and fight. She hoped it was mostly against walkers, but even here they would cross people who wanted them dead. Like the wolves, so Mika would encounter it sooner or later. Carol hoped later, but that didn't fit the life they lived now.

She fiddled with Charlotte's clothes, which was all she'd managed to unpack, and she looked back at her little girl who was reaching for for the doll made form one of her dresses as a baby and the cotton of a pillow. It was made from the little plaid dress she'd made out of Daryl's shirt, and she loved that doll so much. She would love the man so much, too, but that meant staying. That meant telling Daryl the truth and letting him choose what to do with the knowledge. She wanted him to have that choice, but after what she'd learned, after how he reacted to Charlotte, she couldn't do it. It didn't seem the happy moment she'd pictured, and she couldn't put Charlotte through a negative reaction. She knew about her dad and Daryl, but in her head they were separate. Not that it matter, she knew his voice. She was smart, and all she had to do was ask him. He'd know if she ever did. She rarely had interest in her father, but she was getting older. She'd been four soon, and she'd want to know. How could she not? She'd see Rick and Michonne with their kids, Maggie and Glenn with their son, and God knew how many other parents and couples. She'd start to look at the obvious emptiness beside them and wonder.

"Mommy, don't cry." Charlotte crawled over to her on the bed. "Please, no."

She smiled at her little girl. "It's been a big day. I'm a little overwhelmed."

She hugged her. "I'm here."

"I know you are, baby." She kissed her shoulder and held her close. She couldn't have made it without Charlotte being here, and she needed to consider what was best for Charlotte—and now Mika. She always had before, but the choices were simpler. There was nothing simple about this anymore, but she'd base her decision off of what place would be best for her girls.

– – –

Carol was guided by Mika to Maggie's home, holding both of her girls' hands, and Mika told her all about her day. She had grown so much, and Carol could see hints of the beautiful woman she would become. Carol was so proud of her, and she had to resist stopping to embrace her. Mika would have loved it and not questioned it, but Carol had been an emotional wreck today. So she'd just breath in and out and continue walking forward.

Maggie greeted them at the door with Hershel in her arms, Charlotte jumped up to reach up the first person her height, and Maggie set him down to let them play. Hershel was a little bashful about it, but Charlotte was not. She handed over her favorite toy and smiled at him, and they ran off inside the house. Maggie laughed at the sight of it, and Mika slipped inside to find Glenn, and Carol lingered for a moment. Maggie stayed with her, telling her how excited Hershel was about Charli and how happy she was them were home. Carol smiled naturally at her and hugged her, and Maggie was stunned by the action but accepted it. She invited her inside and let her know she and her girls were always welcome here. Always.

Outside on his way through was Daryl. He'd seen them disappear into the house, and he hated himself. He knew Carol would be over there tonight, and he knew there was multiple ways back home, but he still took this way to see if he could see her. Well, he did, and he felt like shit. He lingered out on the street, wanting to knock and invite himself over. They would have no problem with it, but he couldn't bring himself to walk those steps. He pushed forward and dropped by Abe's, not staying for longer than five minutes. He got what he needed and headed home. He dropped their portion of vegetables for the week off on the counter and moved for the back porch with one of Abe's stash whiskeys. He didn't even bother to grab a glass.

By the time Michonne and Rick found him, he'd gotten through half the bottle and was glaring out at the world. RJ had been the first one to spot him and tackled him in a hug, and Daryl responded like normal, but RJ knew Daryl wasn't supposed to have that type of drink. He told his dad right away, and Judith marched down the hall to lecture him, but Rick stopped her and turned her around to help Carl set up the dinner table. It was a friend's job, not a goddaugher's job, though if he didn't stop and got a hangover, they would unleash the little boss on him in the morning.

And Judith could lecture for almost six. Boy could she lecture. Rick suspected it came form Michonne, but Lori was the same way. It just took a moment to remember. He didn't look to those memories often, not after having a new family in a new life, but Judith had questions. Michonne was her mother on all fronts, but Judith still wondered. Michonne was happy to sit her down with her and Rick and listen with Carl. She respected Lori for bringing her these kids, and she'd always raised them to know they had two mothers. Carl already knew and was easy, but Judy was still young. Michonne wouldn't step on what Lori gave up for Judith to live, and Judith loved to cuddle up with Michonne while Rick told her about bad pancakes and home haircuts. They made for the best memories, just the five of them curled up in the living room, laughing about old times. And it was the best way to honor Lori. She wanted joyful moments for this sweet girl, and she had them by the bucketloads.

Rick told Michonne he'd handle it and to have dinner with the kids. They'd be along shortly, and Michonne told him to take it easy on Daryl. She knew what he was going through, and it wouldn't be easy to talk him through it. Especially from the sight of Daryl tonguing the now empty bottle. She would have to blackmail him with this for his own good. She had practice. She used it on Carl and Judith to get their rooms clean and toys off the floor. Same for her boys, too. They knew who ran the house.

Rick crouched down beside Daryl, taking the bottle from his hands, and Daryl glared. "You don't usually drink, and this ain't exactly celebratory champagne." He tried to smirk, but Daryl's eyes were empty. "You want to tell me what's goin' on?"

"You wanna hear it?" Daryl challenged. "Or did your wife just send you?"

He exhaled softly and sat down. "The weddin' ain't till the spring, so no, my wife didn't send me. My son did."

"Carl ain't even conscious."

"RJ," he reminded him. "He hugged his favorite uncle then told his mom about the glass bottle of stinky juice." He shook the empty whiskey bottle.

"Tsssh, whatever, man."

"No, not whatever." He slammed it down loud enough to get Daryl's attention. "You told me you wouldn't do this again, but here you are, sittin' in the doorway, drinking and acting like a pissy little kid. Tell me what's going on, because we aren't going through this again, Daryl. We just aren't."

It was a nightmare after they made a home here. Daryl was distant and drunk. It wasn't a problem at first. He and Abraham would drink together and mess around at the construction site, and it wasn't fine, but it wasn't in front of everybody. Nobody could see this clear scream for help from either man, and then they could. Daryl would get so angry at God only knew who—the world? This life? His situation? He never told Rick what, but he'd start smashing empty bottles at the walls and just curse up a storm. Abraham made him stop, and later Sasha found him behind the house, smoking and burning it into his hand. Rick tried to talk to him, but he told him very aggressively to fuck off and walked out of town. For four weeks, Daryl didn't come back, and they thought he'd died. It was horrible. Mika was so scared, and Michonne had gone after him. It was the longest time of his life.

But they came home together, Daryl stayed away from them for a couple days then he apologized. He fell apart in front of them, apologizing and trying to explain, but his words were choked by tears. He couldn't speak. Michonne consoled him, Rick squeezed his shoulder, and they vowed to help him through whatever this was. He had been so together on the road, but with safety came time to think. They all had their moments were they broke, but they recovered together. At least Daryl wasn't decked in the face by Michonne, so there was an upside. Although Mika did punch him. She was ten and kinda missed, but it had a powerful affect on him. He apologized to her and said it wouldn't happen again. She moved in with Tyreese and Sasha the next week, but she kept close. She loved him but she felt she was part of the reason why he cried. She'd cried like that, too, because of Lizzie and Carol, and she knew he loved Carol, too. They bonded over that love, and now he helped her with her homework.

Currently that man wasn't in sight, and it broke Rick's heart. He couldn't stand to see his best friend, his damn brother, in this condition. He had to help, and he would if he could. He told Daryl this over and over the last three years, because he was too damn important to let whatever happened break him. They had rebuilt everything, but something even more vital was missing from him. He wasn't even this pained when Merle passed, but he had support. Rick realized then what this was about.

"That's why you punched me." He sank back against the doorframe. "I... I didn't know."

"Nobody did." He pulled his legs in and shuddered out a sigh.

He searched his face. "Have you seen her since this morning?"

He nodded. "Yeah, dropped her things off, asked her over for dinner, but she had plans with Maggie and Glenn." He chewed on his bottom lip hard enough to feel the skin give and begin to bleed.

"Y'all two were close before the prison fell. I just...figured it was 'cause that run and that bond you got together." He tried to wrap his mind around it. "Was it real? I mean, of course it was real, but was it going somewhere? Or were you two just—?"

"I loved her," Daryl confessed, wiping a hand under his nose. "I fucking loved her, man."

"Well, she's back now," Rick reminded him. "You don't have to get drunk. You can go see her and talk to her, let her know how you feel now."

"How I feel now?" He cut a look to Rick, and Rick couldn't help the simper crossing his lips.

"Daryl, you might not want to admit it, but you do love her still. She's an incredible woman, and I can see why you do and how much. She needs—she deserves to know that, too."

"It ain't the same as it was." He picked at a hole in his jeans. "We ain't the same people."

"That's true, but if you think you two can't get back what you had, you're dead wrong." He searched his eyes. "I've seen you two, and I never understood it, to be honest. You two seemed so opposite. You were always angry, and she was always sad, but...it's like y'all filled in the empty places in the other and were able to live again. Not to mention you have this connection that you'd be a fool to let go to waste."

He shook his head. "Already blew it, though. I... I know it did."

"Bullshit." He knocked his knuckles into his knee, and Daryl almost chuckled. "You've seen my mistakes. Hell, you've stopped in the middle of most of 'em, and look at me now. I have...a two beautiful boys and a lovely little girl. I have the most amazing and dedicated woman by my side, who is aware of my flaws and my fuck ups and is still there for me. She challenges me to do better for myself and for our family, and she doesn't turn her back on me if I slip up. She stands with me and makes me see where it all went wrong. And I don't flounder in that knowledge alone. We go through it together and come out together better off, because every dark part of me, every part I hate or wish wasn't there but has to be is in her, too. We remind each other that that isn't all we are, and we're building a future where that part doesn't have to be a necessity."

It almost planted hope inside of him, but he couldn't let them blossom. There were too many complications, too many mistakes he'd already made or could make, and he never wanted to hurt her. He'd hurt so many people he loved three years ago, and he couldn't do it again to the one he loved more than all else. He couldn't.

"Is she yours then?" Rick whispered, peeking at Daryl, and Daryl looked at him in pure confusion.

"She...?"

"Charlotte." He wondered how much whiskey he'd had prior to this bottle and hoped he didn't black out and forget this conversation, because it mean the world to him see Daryl happy. After all they'd gone through, so many people had their happy middle, but he struggled. He had his friendship with Maggie and Michonne, his duty with Abraham and Glenn, and he had Mika and Judith and Hershel and RJ, but they all belonged to someone else at the end of the day, and he felt he belonged nowhere. It wasn't true, but Rick could see he knew where he belonged and who with, she was just gone from him until. It was insane to waste time they'd already lost after the prison fell, so Rick was going to expedite this. After all he and Michonne went through to find each other, he didn't want Daryl to have to keep waiting to find his way back to her. If that reaction to seeing Daryl was read correctly, she was still there, too. Daryl just had to see it.

"Charlotte..." His eyes widened as tears fell free.

"She has the same beauty mark as you," Rick commented. "Like me and RJ."

 _It's the same_ rang out in his mind, and he realized what the little girl meant now.  _And the voice, Mommy. I found it._  His eyes burned even more, and he realized Rick was right. His brain was slow and stupid to not see that she was his. God, they had the same hair, too. She must... God, she must have heard him talk when Carol was pregnant. He knew babies could hear sounds from inside the womb, but to remember a voice for three years when she had no idea who he was meant something. It meant he was a father, and that little girl heard his voice so often it latched into her memory for years from the womb.

"She's really beautiful, Daryl." Rick watched him break down at this news. "When I held her, I knew there something familiar about her, but I thought it was Carol. It was both of you, and I feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner."

"You feel like an idiot?" He was smiling, and he wanted to kick himself, almost laughing. "Fuck."

Rick smiled with him. "Don't look so happy about it."

"That... that ain't why I'm smilin'." He snuffled. "I—I gotta go find her."

Rick's smile died, and he shook his head, standing with Daryl to stop him. He wasn't in the right mind to make amends or do whatever he had to do. He could hardly stand on his own, and Rick would need him to sober up before he left this porch. Daryl didn't like that plan and tried to fight him on him, and it became very apparent Daryl more than one bottle when he tripped and fell face first onto the porch. Rick winced at how hard he fell, and Michonne jogged out to see what happened, having heard a crash.

"He tried to run?" Michonne folded her arms across her chest.

"Sorta." Rick scratched his nose. "Help me. Get his feet."

"This brings back memories." She wasn't smiling, because they weren't happy memories. "Is he going to be okay?"

Rick smiled at her. "He's a dad."

"What?" She gasped, grinning with Rick at the news. "That little girl? Carol's girl?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I heard about her, but we were with Carl. I didn't see to see her." She heard about her, though, from Beth and Maggie and anybody who met Carol. She'd been eager to see her, but Carl needed tending to, and RJ wanted to snuggle with his big brother. She had to make sure he didn't get curious about the eye patch since he and Carl used to play pirates. She didn't want to relive the eye-poke scene, because it'd be less funny and more traumatic for both of her sons. But tomorrow she'd bring some food to Carol and meet her. She already had plans to do that, but now she'd do first thing in the morning instead of mid-afternoon. "That's incredible news. Why is he drunk on that news? He's great with the kids."

"Low self-esteem and a bad encounter, I'm assuming."

She nodded then smacked his breast, and he stepped back, holding a hand over the wounded area. "I told you not to set him up with Nina."

"Okay, but they're not even together."

"Are you sure about that? The last time I spoke to Nina, she believed they were in a relationship. Is it possible they started one, but he wasn't into it and never told her?" She looked down at the drunken mess on the ground. "I don't think he even knows."

Rick hesitated. "It's not really our concern, is it? It'll work itself out."

"It is our concern when you set them up," Michonne stepped over Daryl's legs to get into the position of grabbing his ankles, "when you were repeatedly asked not to."

"At the time I thought it would help. I know Daryl. He loves slow. They'd be friends first, and if it didn't go anywhere, he'd at least have a new friend. Nina is the best kind of friend to have. She's selfless and caring and dependable. She'll do anything you ask within reason if she can without a second thought. She's a good person, and Daryl was in a dark place. She wanted to help."

"I know how she is, and I like her. I really do, but you can't scrub off another person's darkness. Daryl had to do that himself, and he got through it because of us. He chose to let us in, and he recovered. Nina and he have blurred lines, and they don't even know it." She searched his eyes. "Your heart was in the right place, but Daryl isn't one of our kids. He's an adult. He has to figure it out himself. It's a little too late for the lecture, but for future notice let the man handle himself unless he can't."

"All right."

They rolled him onto his back and hauled him up and to his bedroom. Judith watched from the kitchen, Michonne told her to finish her plate and watch RJ for a moment longer, and Judith sighed at the sight of her uncle before stepping back to the kitchen to finish her dinner. Rick and Michonne dropped him onto the bed on his side, removing his boots and joining their kids for dinner. They avoided the subject of Daryl's condition entirely, and after they finished their dishes, Rick was thrilled to announce Carl was awake. Judith gasped and begged to help make his plate. Michonne chuckled and brought the stool over to the leftover containers to let her make up his plate while Rick rocked RJ beside them.

Once it was all made up with no food touching, Rick grabbed some juice from the fridge, and they all piled into his room to eat dinner with him now that he was awake. Carl was in a lot of pain, so Michonne gave him a sedative to help with it, and Judith curled up beside him. His coordination was off obviously, and Michonne helped him with the fork and eating.

"This is ridiculous." Carl's brows furrowed in frustration. "I can't even feed myself. Christ."

"You'll get there." Rick adjusted RJ in his arms. "It'll take time, but you'll adjust to this."

"That's easy for you to say. You didn't lose half your face." He mumbled it so Judith and RJ couldn't hear, but Michonne did.

"All right. It's late. Why don't you put the kids to bed?" She looked over her shoulder at Rick. "I'll be there to help in a minute."

He nodded and rose, moving around the bed to where Judith was curled up on her brother's side. He brushed hair from his son's brow and placed a kiss there. "Good night, Carl. I love you."

He lowered his eye. "Yeah, me too."

Rick reached his hand down for his daughter. "Come on, sweetheart. It's time for bed."

Judith was in and out, so she gladly accepted his hand, but she first leaned up to kiss Carl's cheek. He smiled at her and placed a hand on the top of her head. She left with her dad, looking back at her mom, and Michonne told her she'd be right there. Judith yawned and nodded.

"I know I shouldn't have said that in front of her," Carl began before Michonne could. "You just don't understand that this is like. How—how frustating it is. I was fine just a couple days ago, and now my eye is burning. I can't... I'll never see... And now I can't even feed myself?" He sounded so repulsed by himself. "I'll never get it back, Mom."

She moved hair back over his forehead. "You don't need it back. You'll build something new from this. I know you didn't ask for this, but it happened. You can get angry. You can yell and scream and smash anything you can reach. You get to go through this, Carl. Don't let anyone tell you don't have a right to because you survived. You lost something, and you can mourn that. You already have to heal from it, so please go through and give it hell." She stroked his cheek. "But don't let it become you. You've been through so much and overcome it all. This is just another step. Denise can help with some therapy, and you'll find a way to do everything you did before. You'll make it work in your own time and your own way. Okay?"

He shivered and tried not to cry. "I thought I was dead," he confessed. "When...when the bullet hit, I blacked out, and nothing felt real. It hurt so much. I thought I'd gone to Hell."

"No, never." She pulled him into her arms and smoothed down his hair. "You didn't die. You're right here in my arms, and you're alive. You're not in Hell. You never will be."

"I was so scared." He dug his hands into her pack and sobbed.

"I know you were." She tried not to break, but he was in such anguish, and she could feel it every time he trembled in her arms. "But you don't have to be scared anymore. I'm here, baby. I'm right here."

Rick came to check on Michonne and Carl about thirty minutes later when she never came to help him put RJ down for the night, and Judith would be upset about no good night kiss, but that was for the morning. He was worried about Carl, but he knew Michonne would be a better help. They were closer, and Michonne always knew what to say to him. Rick was getting better, but right now Carl needed her. Rick understood that and was grateful to have such a wonderful woman in their lives.

Inside his room Carl was drifting off and Michonne was collecting the plate and cup from his mostly untouched dinner. Rick waved to get her attention, and she shook her head at him, leaving the room to head down to the kitchen. He pulled the sheet over Carl and flicked the light off, following in his fiance's wake, and Michonne was leaned against the counter, arms crossed over her midsection. He walked up to her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. They knew it would be a difficult road for Carl, but the weight as his parents and leaving him unprotected was heavy. Rick should have followed with Glenn and Gab, but Carl was faster. He always had been.

"What can we do?" Rick whispered by her ear.

"Be there for him." She rested her head on his chest. "It's all we can do, but he needs us. All of us."

"Then we'll be there for him." He cradled the back of her head, his eyes burning. "I didn't think we'd get him back, and even though he's physically here, he's not back to us."

"Not yet," Michonne corrected. "It'll take time, but he'll come through this, and he'll see how much support he has every step."

He inhaled deeply and nodded his head, squeezing his eyes shut and readying himself for the days to come. He didn't know where this road would take Carl, but he hoped his son came out better for it. Carl was the strongest person he knew, and Rick would remind him of that if he ever forgot. He would remind him every damn day if he had to. Of that and how much he loved him. How much they all loved him. Because if Carl didn't deserve to ever doubt that or himself, so they would remove any doubts that tried to force themselves onto him. Every step, every day, because they were a family. They were survivors. This wouldn't best Carl. He had faith in that, and he'd see that Carl could have faith in it, too.


	7. Involved

Carol woke up to Charlotte gasping and squealing, and she shot up instantly, reaching for her knife, but it was just Denise with breakfast. She sent her friend a glare but with an amused smile, and Denise grinned somehow apologetically. Mika was beside her with drinks, and they piled onto the bed. Carol nearly gasped herself at pancakes and coffee and milk. She wanted to know how, and Denise explained the other towns in trade with Alexandria, and Carol felt like she'd been thrown into an entirely new world. She was so excited to show Charlotte milk and actual flour pancakes with non-peach jam.

Charlotte eyes widened at the blackberry jam drizzled pancakes.

“Is that good?” Carol smirked at Mika and Denise, who shared a laugh.

She nodded. “More, please. I want more, Mommy.”

“Okay, here.” She would normally let Charlotte feed herself, but she didn't want her to overdo it with the new, sweet food before her. Which was unfortunate, because Carol could only feed one of them at a time, and Denise offered to feed Carol, and Carol sent a glare. “Don't say it if you don't mean it.”

“I've offered this twice,” Denise told Mika, “and twice she had rejected me. I am serious, but never mind.” She dug into her banana pancakes.

“Could I feed Charli?” Mika inquired. “I'll be careful.”

“I can feed myself,” Charli groaned from her mother's lap, wanting her purple round fork back, and she reached to take a whole pancake from her plate.

“Hey, don't.” Carol caught her hand. “You can feed yourself at lunch, okay? I still haven't unpacked everything.”

She pouted but accepted Mika's forkful of pancakes, grabbing her sippy cup of milk to wash it down.

“How'd you sleep last night?” Carol drank her coffee and almost moaned at the delicious black brew.

“I didn't get a lot of sleep, actually.” She licked honey off her bottom lip. “Tara kept me company while I unpacked, so we were up half the night just talking. She's really nice.”

“Tara, huh?” She arched a brow. “Aren't you two in the same house?”

“Yes, that's why she offered to help. It was great to talk to someone new. I mean, I love you both, but I missed other people.” She wasn't sure that those were the right words. “That isn't an insult. I just want someone new to talk to and learn about.”

“I'm not offended. I had the same thought catching up with Maggie and Glenn.” She had a great time at dinner, too. She'd been a little upset because of Daryl, but Maggie and Glenn knocked the mood out of her week. They had such a good time. Beth and Noah were there, too, and they had a stew with red potatoes and pork and green beans. Charli loved it, and she loved hanging out with Hershel. They played games and laughed, and Carol almost forgot how out of place she felt. It'd been great, and even Noah found himself laughing. She hoped he would put through. Him and Carl, both. If she still prayed, she'd pray for them.

“Good.” She tapped her fork on the plate. “How did you sleep?”

“Honestly like a rock.” She passed out the moment she and Charli lied down. She thought it'd be harder to fall asleep, but they had a constant watch on the wall, and they had a patrol before the sun went down and as it rose. It relaxed her more than wine, and she passed out. “I haven't been so rested in years.”

“Me, too. You know, when I finally fell asleep.” She cleared her throat. “So... I don't start my doctor shifts until I'm settled in, so I'm free today. Do you guys wanna do something? Mika doesn't have school.”

“Is it a weekend?” Carol mused.

“No, Nina and Beth were talking about Beth picking up a class to teach, so all the teachers are having a meeting to discuss what she can do.” Mika crossed her legs. “It's Nina, Tyreese, Peter and Gabriel. There were some other teachers, but they aren't around anymore.”

“Oh.” Carol lost her smile some at Mika's face dropping. “What happened?”

“One of the walls came down, and... walkers and wolves came after us. It was a nightmare.” She lifted her eyes. “I was trapped in a garage with Tyreese and Enid and a couple other kids. We were trapped for a long time, but we all came together. We stopped them, and we buried the ones we lost.”

Carol could see how much this little girl had changed, and she could tell it was for the better. “You helped?”

She nodded, her braid pigtails shifting with the movement, and she smiled. “I was still small, but Daryl got my gun a silencer. He helped me with my aim, and I joined them to save our home.”

“Daryl did that?” Carol's chest tightened. “He taught you how to shoot? How to aim?”

“Well, he taught how to shoot better.” She laughed. “He's been great. He's like... like a dad, sort of. He shows me what you did, and he comes over for dinner when I was with Ty. We would go on walks and talk. It was so cool. I hope he still does it now that you're back. I really love it.”

“I'm sure he will.” She couldn't eat any more and Denise noticed. “I have to use the bathroom.” She moved Charli to the bed and headed down the hall, and she didn't make it far before Denise was on her heels. “No.”

“Car—”

“No.” She turned to face her with tears shimmering in her eyes. “He kept his word. He took care of her like we promised we would together. I... I can't believe it.”

“He loves you, and he wanted to do right by your future plans. How can you not believe it?”

“If he loved me so much...how can he look at me and his daughter and assume she is someone else's?” She knew he wasn't blind, and he had to see it. He had to feel it. How could he not?

“Carol, you expect too much.” Denise stepped closer. “He hasn't seen you in three years and never has he seen her. How can he just know? It's not like magic. It was a shellshock for him yesterday. The woman he loves just came backout of the blue three years later. He probably thought he'd never see you again, and not only does he get you back, but you're not alone. You have a child. How can he just close the space and assume she's his? It's not an insult to you, but Daryl doesn't know what happened to you. Good or bad, and again, shock is powerful. Trust me.”

“He's involved with someone else. He doesn't want to see it.” She shrugged a shoulder. “I'll be angry, but I'll get over it. I always do.”

“That isn't fair.”

“To who?”

“To Charlotte.” She thrust a hand behind them. “She will start to see herself in him. You know she will. She's a smart kid, and Daryl's nature won out on her. Don't deny it. We both know it's the truth.”

Carol crossed her arms over her chest. “I wasn't going to deny it.”

“Good, now just listen. Because if you're going to be angry and maybe hostile towards him, intentionally or not, she'll pick up on it. She won't reach out to this other half of herself because her beloved mom doesn't like him, and that isn't right. It isn't even factual. You love him.”

“I loved him—three years ago.”

“Oh, bullshit. You love him now and then. You're just hiding, because Daryl might have moved on. You don't know that for sure. Did he tell you himself? Or did you just hear it?”

“Maggie mentioned it. He barely spoke to me or looked at me, so he's ashamed of something.” She exhaled. “Don't worry about Charlotte and Daryl. I'll make sure he knows—tomorrow.”

“Carol, it's been three years. Isn't that long enough?”

“Just three years and three days.” She turned on her heel and headed into the bathroom.

Denise heaved a sigh and decided to leave it. She had breakfast to finish with her goddaughter and Mika. She'd deal with Carol when the time was right or if it came to that. She hoped Carol came to her sense, because this was silly. She needed to tell Daryl Charlotte's his, and if he was involved with someone else, work it out. It's been three years, nearly four by Charlotte's growth, and moving on was inevitable. It was dreadful but inevitable.

––

 

Beth sat on motionless as morning sank into the later hours, Noah had stayed the night with them until they could get his housing situated, and they were in the house alone. It had been a great night, but the morning wasn't so fabulous. Beth found Noah crying in the bathroom, saying he didn't think he was going to make it, and she knew what that felt like. She told him that was okay, because it was just a thought. It didn't have to come true. He cried even more, and she sat there beside him. They didn't say anything, and eventually Maggie told them she was heading out and to try and get some air. Their breakfast was in the oven, but neither was hungry.

Beth pulled her legs up to her chest and plopped her chin on her knees, looking over at Noah who was rocking himself now, and she grasped his hand from the floor, lacing her fingers through them. She squeezed hard enough for her nails to graze his skin, and he jolted, gasping as he came to, and he looked over at her.

“I'm here for you, Noah.” She searched his eyes. “You and me survived that damned hospital. We'll survive this. You lost your blood, but you have me. I'm family.” After three years in Grady, they were all each other had. They protected each other and tended to the other’s wounds. They were best friends, family, and that didn't end simply because their nightmare life at that hospital had.

“I love you,” he told her, “but you're wrong.”

She set her jaw. “No, I'm not.”

“Beth, you just got everything back.” He lifted his hand to gestured to the door. “Your big sister and brother-in-law and nephew and even niece/possible sister are right there. They made it through, and you have them for the rest of your life. I don't have you—they do.”

“Noah, that's stupid. You're my family, too. I love you, too. Don't say things like this.” She tried not to cry, because it was like looking in a mirror. She couldn't bare the sight of her past self in his eyes, only it was worse, because he pretty much alone. If only Jimmy survived the farm, Beth would be in the same state as him. Worse, maybe, because she'd already tried to take her life. He had hope but that was ripped from him, and he had to watch Beth find her family here when he had to kill his.

“You're the best friend I've ever had,” he confided. “Thank you for that.”

“No, don't say that.” She gripped his hand tighter. “Noah, please.”

“Let go.”

“No.” She shook her head. “Stop saying these things, please. I know where you are, and I know you have to find your way out of it, but I can't let you do it alone. I thought I was ready, too. This world was too much, and I could close my eyes and fall asleep to it and be happy. I was wrong. The minute I cut deeper, I knew I didn't want it. And I was right. I found life in this mess, and I need you... I need you to find it, too.”

“Beth—”

She was crying, shaking and pleading, and his eyes were so empty while she did all those things. She knew he had nothing in him right now, so she would have to fill him up. She would have to give him something good to hold to. But he had to want to hold onto it, so she would give him love. All the love they'd built and shared at the hospital, all the love that was still there between them now, and all the love they could have in the future.

“Do you remember the winter in the hospital when the generator when out?” She lifted her head. “And we were so cold, and people were dying from the lack of power. We had to move their bodies.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“We... we were dismissed with only two hours to get sleep, and we slept in my room, because it was too cold to sleep alone. It was freezing to the point of pain, so we curled up with both sets of our blankets in my bed, and we... we talked the entire time about what we do when we escaped. We laughed so much, and... and we realized just how much we meant to each other.” She looked into his eyes to see something more than blank agony. “We were all each other had, and we didn't know if we could truly escape, so we made our own happiness there. We endured the beatings and starvation and the torment of those assholes together. We made a decision somewhere in that first year to stay together, and we made it. We survived it.”

“That was different.”

“No, it's not. We're still family. We're just not trapped in that hellhole. And you ca... you can have so much more family here. Maggie and Glenn. And all the other people we haven't met. You just need to stay, Noah. Please, stay with me.”

“I don't know how,” he whispered.

“I don't know how either.” Beth snuffled. “I... have no clue, but we can search for how together and with all these people here if we want. We have our lives back, and you should explore what that means to you. Because for me...your life is everythin'. It's been the best part of my life for the past three years, and... all our good memories at the hospital mean the world to me. I wouldn't have survived without your support.”

“We supported each other.”

She smiled at him. “We did, and we can do that again until you're... until you're okay.”

He exhaled and swallowed. “I need a shower.”

“You're not gonna hurt yourself, are you?”

“I don't know,” he answered honestly.

She brushed her fingertips over his hand. “You mean the world to me, Noah. I want you to know that. I know you have to find the will to live on your own, and it's difficult, but I'm here for you through any break down or attempt. Just like always.” She released his hand and stood up, wiping her eyes with her palms. “I meant what I said last year. That really was the best night.”

“We paid for it.”

“Yeah, we did.” She snuffled. “But I'd do it again willing every time, even if I knew how much they'd punish us.”

She left the bathroom and found Maggie sitting with Hershel beside her across the hall, she crumbled at the sight, and Maggie rushed to embrace her. She hushed her and kissed her hair, and Beth dug her nails into her back. Last night had been amazing, a perfect reunion, but with morning came everything you had to swallow to make it this far. Maggie almost forgot her first days here and asked Michonne to cover for her. She had a more important job at home.

She calmed Beth down and sat her on the couch with Hershel in his pen, and she put on a pot of tea. Noah's shower water could be heard faintly, and Beth hugged her knees to her chest, staring numbly at her nephew playing. She looked only over when two mugs were placed on the coffee table, jumping slightly, and Maggie set a hand on her knee, apologizing.

“Glenn found a room for Noah,” Maggie informed her. “It's at the clinic. Denise is right across the hall from him.”

“There's medicine in the clinic,” Beth remarked. “Scalpels.”

“I know. Mordin will lock them up at night, so he'll be safe from that.” She looked her baby sister over and couldn't help her smile. “You've grown so much.”

Beth blinked and looked over at her. “What?”

“You were a little kid when I last saw you, and now you're a lovely woman.” She released her knee. “You're so strong, and I never gave you enough credit. I'm sorry.”

“Maggie, this isn't about me.”

“I know, but...there's so many things I never got to say to Daddy, and I don't want to happen between us.” She cleared her throat and shifted to face her on the couch. “I honestly thought I'd never see you again. Daryl told me you were alive, but... years passed, and I knew I wouldn't see you again. It broke my heart, but we found a home, and I was able to reconnect with my faith, and then... I got pregnant. I had to stay collected for my son and my husband, but not a single day went by when I didn't miss you. I pray someone would find you while out on a run. I'd pray somehow you'd find your way to me, but I didn't think I would get an answer.”

“You almost didn't.” She lowered her legs and crossed them. “If Noah's home hadn't crossed paths with Carl, we would be at the grove. I wanted to look for you, but Carol told me it was pointless. She'd looked for you guys for a long time, but she found nothing. I'd been locked in a hospital for years, so I really had no place to start. I barely remember what Daryl taught me.”

“Well, you survived, and you can talk to me. You can talk to anybody you want about it, but I am here for you. And for Noah. Whatever you need.”

She inhaled slowly. “I'm not okay with what happened to me.”

Maggie nodded.

“But Noah and I made it livable, and I'm scared that everything between us was just...fabricated to survive that hell. And it wasn't true, and we don't care about each other. It was just a... safe place we needed to survive, and now that it's not needed, there's nothing there.” She picked at her pajama pant leg and tried not to cry. She'd cried so many tears the last couple of days and hours. Happy tears, disbelieving tears, panicked tears, trauma tears. She was just exhausted, but she had to be vigilant for Noah. She had to be his strength until he got his back. She had to.

“That isn't true. You wouldn't be so upset if it were.”

“I did terrible things in that hospital, Maggie.” Her eyes burned as her lips quivered. “I killed people. I... I was used to kill people. And I wanted to kill someone. I wanted to burn the hospital to the ground and let everyone who hurt me burn. I wanted to watch it and hear them scream. I _needed_ it.”

“Beth.” Maggie grasped her hand and felt her heart fall. “Sweetheart.”

“What if I used him, too? What if I wanted someone to treat me like I mattered after weeks and weeks of being told I'm nothing, that I'm barely worth using supplies on? What if I'm just like them only—”

“Hey, hey, no. No.” She scooted closer and clutched her hand. “You are not them. Do you hear me? You didn't use anybody. Don't let them into your head like that.”

She squeezed her eyes shut as tears swept down her cheeks profusely. “Maggie, I feel like they ruined me.”

“They don't get to do that. No one has the power to ruin you but you, you hear me? You are still my—my sister.” She tried to keep control of her voice, but it wasn't easy. “You're my sister, and I love you and I know you. You are you, no matter how much time has passed, no matter what happens to you. You are our father's daughter, and he would be proud of you, just like I am. He made a survivor and a good person a—and an amazing.... an amazing heart.” She sputtered and kissed Beth's hand. “Okay?”

“Maggie....” She rubbed a hand across the back of her neck, her lungs twisting up and searing inside her chest, and she strained to breathe. “I can't do this.”

“You can do this. You can get through this. I'm right here for you.”

“I'm terrified this isn't real,” Beth confessed. “Like they beat me so bad this time I've lost my mind.”

Maggie whimpered at her words and bumped her forehead against Beth's. “You are home, Beth. You are with me and safe. I will never lose you again. I promise. This is real. I'm real, and I love you. Glenn loves you. My son loves you. We're a family, and we always will be. Those bastards can't hurt you anymore. We'll work through this. You are my blood, and your pain is mine pain, and I won't let you struggle alone this time. I won't.”

Beth whined and wrapped her arms around her sister, everything ripping through to surface, and she felt she would come apart. She had bottled it for so long, and the bottle began to crack more and more until it shattered into pieces outside Alexandria's gates. It was a slow release, but she was choking on it now, bleeding from the damages. She couldn't hold herself together anymore. Noah reminded her of that, and there was no going back from there. Only forward—through the glass and damage and out to the other side—to whatever person or reality was waiting for her there.

– – –

 

Mika and Charlotte were running through the flowers and paying with a ball a man named Spencer had given them at the sight of the two girls. Carol and Denise were standing away from them as they laughed and chased each other and the ball, and Denise couldn't help but smile. She wished the camera still had film, because it was a Kodak moment.

A few houses down in bed with a splitting headache, Daryl woke up and blinked, groaning as his body ached. He pushed himself head, a ringing in his ears, and his entire face throbbed. He felt like he'd been kicked by a donkey again, and he tumbled off the bed, wincing at his landing. He heard sniggering and looked up to find Nina in his door, and he huffed, sitting on the floor, offering a slight glare.

“Smooth.” She pushed off the frame. “Rick told me you might here on your ass. He wasn't wrong.”

“Yeah, had a long night.” He glanced over at the wall. “Don't you got class?”

“I cancelled to talk to the other teachers to see where we could fit Beth in. She asked me early this morning through Glenn, so I wanted to make it a priority. We decided she'd be a great fit for literature. I haven't seen her today, but I'll tell her when tomorrow.” She sat down on the edge of his bed. “I think she'll do great. She seems very sweet.”

“You don't know her,” he reminded her, rubbing the back of his head. Fuck, what did they do? Drop him? Not that he could blame them, to be honest.

“I know Maggie, and they're sisters. Close sisters from how Maggie told me about her, and I have a good feeling about her. She went through a lot out there, I'm sure, and teaching might be good for her. I can't say for sure, because you're right; I don't know Beth personally. I hope to, but until I'll just have to keep my opinions to a minimum.” She looked him over and sucked air in through her teeth. “You look rough.”

“Thanks. It's a new personal look.” He caught her eye and laughed with her, sucking in a wince at the sound vibrating in his head.

“Get showered. I'll make you lunch.”

“Michonne didn't already?” Normally she had it all laid out for the kids and them when she was off-duty. She would smack his hands all the way out of the kitchen until it was done, too. Mama Michonne was a force. He learned that the hard way.

“She's covering for Maggie, and the kids are at a play date with Aaron and Gracie. I thought I'd check on you since Rick told me you'd been drinking. I was worried. I thought you stopped.”

“I did, but I had a bad night.”

“That's no excuse.” She searched his eyes. “Beth is fine, Daryl. She made it back home, and so did Carl. It isn't on you. It never was. You have to...accept that now.”

“It ain't about Beth,” he grumbled.

“Then who? The only other people who came were the new people—Denise, Noah, Charlotte and Carol. Only Rick and Michonne know them, I think. Maybe the Rhees, too.” She crossed her legs and rested her hands in her lap. “Did you know her, too? Or her husband? I'm assuming husband, because of her little girl. She looks too... I don't know, classy to have a baby with some random person. She would have to love them so much.”

His throat contracted, and he dropped his eyes to the floor, biting his bottom lip. His eyes burned as she spoke, and he wanted her to stop. All he had to do was speak to make her stop, but he couldn't. He couldn't open his damned mouth. He could only think of that little girl and of the woman he loved. It was more sobering than time, and he wanted to crawl out of his skin to escape this hangover and talk to her. But he couldn't do that, so she'd have to see him hungover after how they left things. Great.

“And she is so gorgeous,” Nina continued. “I love her eyes. They're so...captivating, like they can see into your soul. I want to get to know her and be friends with her, because being a single mom is so difficult. I... I watched my own mother struggle with, and that was before this world up and changed the rules on us, so yeah. I definitely want to reach out to her.”

“You... you and Carol?” He couldn't help the mocking tone. “Seriously?”

“Why not? I'm sure we have something in common.” She scrunched her nose at him and laughed at his expression. “We could go and meet her together.”

“I... No.” He stood up and ignored the pulsing in his head. “I'm good.”

“You are so anti-social. It's not good for you.” She grasped his hand. “Come with me to meet her. Get some fresh air and have dinner with us. I can make something we can all eat, the baby included, and maybe we can get babysitting dibs.”

“I know Carol,” he corrected. “We already talked. I... I gotta shower and meet...erm, Rosita. She has a list for our next run, and I shouldn't keep a pregnant woman waiting.”

“That's very true.” She squeezed his hand. “I'm here for you, Daryl, you know that. If you have any guilt over Beth... or Carl...come talk to me, please. I won't try and pry the words outta you, and we can just sit in a comfortable silence. It'll be good. That's all I want. Good things for you.” She smiled at him. “Okay? Think about it. I'll leave you lunch, but I can't join you.”

“Got plans?”

She nodded. “Yes, Tyreese and I will be going out to hunt in a couple days, so we need to decide on which usual spot and what supplies Olivia can spare.”

“You sure you ready to do that?” He remembered the last time, and it was horrible for her. She stumbled upon a bear cub, and it wasn't alone. She almost lost her leg, but he'd been there and so had Francine. They got her out of there. She almost died on the way back, but he did everything he could remember Carol telling him to do staunch bleeding, and Mordin did the rest. Wacky doctor, but he saved her life, and Daryl was so grateful. He brought the man back a whole boar for himself. That was almost three years ago, but she wasn't able to walk for a long time. He helped her through the physical therapy, and Francine was there to help her sleep. They had Nina Shifts, and they were a good team with it. He was glad she recovered, because it'd been on him. He told her to follow those tracks, because he'd been drinking and couldn't see them properly. He'd been a jackass and almost got her killed. He couldn't forgive himself for it, but she told him to let it go and smiled at him and asked to join him for the Grimes movie night with popcorn and hot chocolate. It'd been a good night, save for Rick trying to set them up afterward.

“I'll be fine. I have Tyreese, and I'm going to try and rope in Eugene. He's gotten better with being on runs, so I'm knockin' that last wall down.” She made a pushing gesture and grinned at him. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck?”

“Oh, yeah, means so much.” She laughed and stepped back. “I can hear the question mark, Dixon.”

“Well, you don't need it. You're a good hunter.” He followed her out of his room. “Just...come back, all right?”

“I fully intend to.” She spun around and headed to the kitchen, seeing a note from Michonne to her. She opened it and smiled at the warning of Daryl's hangover. She adored Michonne and would have to start checking for notes before going back to his room. It wasn't too bad this time, but they had been bad before. It broke her heart for to drink his life away. He was a good man, and he deserved better than the treatment he gave himself. She would have to do something about it. She wasn't sure what, but something nice. Something to help him. Something...for them. She had one idea, but she'd have to think on it.

Nina made his lunch and headed out to meet Tyreese, Daryl showered and found the meal on the counter, and he'd have to find a way to thank her. She was a good person and a friend he needed when he spiraled out after coming here. She deserved to have a life outside of worrying about him and everyone else in the town. She would be unsatisfied with her life if she kept it up. He'd told her that once, but she rolled her eyes and told him to shut up. He didn't, and she left him on the lawn. Michonne turned the hose on him in the morning. It wasn't a good morning, but she laughed her ass off. Baby Grimes probably did, too.

He rolled out of the house once he'd finished his meal and washed the dishes, finding his way back to Carol's to talk to her, but when he arrived and knocked, there was no answer. The door was locked, and nobody appeared to be home. He checked by Maggie and Glenn's, but Maggie told him nobody had been by. He asked if she was all right, because it was clear she'd been crying. She shook her head and asked him to politely to leave. He knew it had to do with Beth, and his heart sank. He wanted to apologize, but Maggie closed the door before he could say anything. He spotted Noah on the porch, looking like a ghost, and he approached him.

“Hey, kid, you all right?” He sat down beside him.

“Is that a joke?” Empty black eyes fixed on Daryl's face.

“No, it isn't a joke.” He frowned. “You don't look good.”

“I've been held hostage in a hospital for four years and my family was slaughtered by maniacs, so yeah, I'm not doing too good.” He rolled his eyes. “What do you want?”

“Just checkin' in.” He gripped the deck between his thighs with both hands. “I know what it's like to be held hostage with no escape for years and losin' all you love after that. Hell, felt like I lost 'em every day. Maybe I never really had 'em.”

Noah frowned. “That sounds terrible.”

“It was.” He bobbed his head in agreement. “But I made my peace with it. I... I got a new family, and they've held me live.”

His brows met. “Do—don't you mean survive? They helped you survive?”

“Nah, they helped me live. I've survived my whole life, but with them I got to experience livin'. I... I got to know new kinds of relationship and that relying on someone does work out. It ain't all abuse and let downs.”

“Huh. That's...one way to look at it, I guess.”

“It's not guessin'. It's how it is. You look lost, and somebody might say you're too young to look like that, but you're never too young. Shit happens to people at all ages, and maybe you are too young, but it doesn't matter. It'll find you, and you won't feel so young anymore. You won't feel anythin' anymore. You just push through it, and the whole point of livin' is wasted on you. You just survive and survive, and that's what living becomes.” He dug his nails into the wood. “And sometimes you find someone who shows you what livin' means, and it's everythin'.”

He looked at the house beside him where Beth and Maggie were and smiled a little. “Yeah. I...I know that part.”

“If they mean that much to you, you gotta fight for it and make whatever needs righted right. 'Cause if they mean that much to you, it wasn't an effort all on your part. They're in it, too, and they deserve you in the best you there is.”

Noah pulled his legs in and shifted his body on the wood to face the man beside him. “Who are you?”

“Oh, uh, Daryl.” He held his hand out, and Noah shook it. “You're Noah, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded his head. “Thank you, Daryl. I...um, I should go, but thank you.”

Daryl slid off the side of the porch and spotted Carol and Denise. Carol was holding Charlotte in her arms, Mika was walking behind them, making face at Charli behind Carol's back, and Denise was in a serious conversation with Carol about something. Or maybe it wasn't, because Carol laughed. She looked so beautiful when she laughed, and he noticed how much she'd changed on him. She was skinnier than he remembered, but she was pregnant when they were together last so that didn't mean much. She looked good, a healthy splash of color on her skin, those freckles popping across the line of her cheekbones, and she'd let her hair grow out. It wasn't very long, barely bruising her shoulders, but it fit her well. She looked fantastic and open for someone to join their conversation. Someone like him. He needed to talk to her—talk to his...their daughter.

He moved forward but stopped short. He couldn't feel his legs, and he shook the feeling from his body, but all of a sudden Aaron came jogging over. He seemed to be inviting them over for lunch since the rest of the Grimes crew was there, and they had extras. He watched them all turn around and follow Aaron to his house. He cursed himself and stepped onto the sidewalk, looking up to see Charli watching him from her mom's shoulder. He offered a wave, but she buried he face in her mother's shoulder. A rock dropped into his gut. He didn't even know her, and she didn't like him and/or was afraid of him.

 _How to become his father in two days or less_ , he chided himself. _He drank and scared his kid. Good fucking job, you jack—_

“Don't be so hard on yourself.” Beth came off the steps, eyes rimmed with red and swollen, but she managed a smile. “She's a kid. She doesn't know you, once she does, it's hug fest. And wet kisses.”

Daryl tried to smile, but he felt like shit. “You look as bad as I feel.”

“Three years held against your will does that to a woman.” She crossed her arms and offered a shrugging smile with her lips.

“A woman, huh?” He smirked at her. “You're still a kid.”

She blinked at him and exhaled, wrapping her arms around herself. “I'm too mentally exhausted to care what you think of my age, but I wanted to say you're stupid.”

“Excuse me?” He turned to her now. “How?”

“You're letting her get away from you, and you're stupid for it. I know you two were having sex at the prison. I suspected it once or twice when Glenn and Maggie had the tower, but I heard some springs creaking upstairs. The next morning, Carol couldn't stop smiling, and you had your shirt on backwards and didn't even notice.” She watched him blush and stammer. “You lost three years with her and your kid, just go to her. Talk to her and...be a dad.”

“I want to, but... the kid doesn't like me.”

“The kid?” She aped him and made a sour face. “Your kid doesn't like you, because she doesn't know you. Be active in her life, and she'll love you. She's a sweet girl, and she deserves a dad. I know you can be that dad, but you have to shape up. We all have to.”

He studied her. “Maybe you aren't a kid anymore.”

“Maybe not.” She stepped back. “I want you to take me off your chest, Daryl. What happened was on those bastards at the hospital, never your, never me. The ones who hurt me are dead now. We can both move on.”

He drew air into his lungs. “Are you going to be okay?”

She pressed her lips and shrugged with her entire body. “I don't know.” She smiled now. “But I'll let you know.” She padded up the stairs and slipped inside her home, seeing Maggie and Noah waiting for her. She rubbed her arms and shuddered.

“Are you guys hungry?” Maggie picked Hershel up out of his pen. “It's about time to feed him.”

“Yeah, I could use something light.” Beth nodded. “Maybe that breakfast.”

“I'll heat it up.” She carried him to the kitchen and let them be alone.

Noah fidgeted and planted himself in front of her. “Beth, I... I'm so sorry. You deserve better than I said to you, and I didn't consider you at all. We both went through the same hell. We're both...orphans. Your sister was just able to survive.”

“Noah, it's okay to process your own pain and know those triggers, but while you do that, please consider what we are.” She searched his eyes. “I'm here for you, and I've always meant that. You know that, right? What we did, how we survive....”

“You're the best person I know, Beth. You don't need to doubt that. We went through...a nightmare. An actual nightmare, and we're in partially there in our heads, even though we're not. We'll figure our way out fully.” He let his hands drop to his pockets. “Maybe we can figure out what we are now that we're out.”

She peeked at his face. “We're friends, though, right? No matter what else we are, we're friends?”

“Yeah, of course.” He smiled at her, and it was a good smile. It was real and him, and it brightened the darkness they shared. “Let's go get lunch.”

“Sounds good.” She knotted her fingers together and trailed after him. She knew the road was long, but she thought being back home with Maggie would make the road vanish. It only cemented it. This was real. That abuse was beyond real. She and Noah and their entire relationship were damaged. She didn't know what they would mean for them in the future, but she hoped they could still be...involved in each other’s lives. And not as trauma buddies—as a certain blue pig liked to call them.

– – –

 

Denise had a full schedule the next day with Noah wanting to speak to her and then Beth and then Carl for his PT, and Mika had her patrol with Enid, and Michonne had the day off and wanted to spend time with Charli. To get to know her and for Judith and RJ to meet her. Carol had no idea who RJ was, but when she told her, Carol agreed and asked to meet him in return.

“Oh, my God.” Carol lowered herself down onto her knees as RJ to them as his dad set him down and Judith came in from the living room. “They're gorgeous. Hello, sweethearts.”

“RJ, this is an old friend.” Rick knelt by his son. “This is Carol. You've never met her, but she's family.”

The little boy shyly smiled at her, a complete blend of both his parents unlike Carl and Judith who favored Lori rather than Rick, and he was a handsome little guy. He and Rick shared a beauty mark, the same wavy hair but its hue belonged to Michonne. He had features of both just evenly spread across his little face, and Carol almost forgot about the other sweet baby in the room.

“Carol?” Judith remembered her name and drew closer. “Uncle Daryl's Carol?”

Michonne grinned. “Yes.”

Carol blushed awkwardly at that. “I'm not...his Carol. I'm just...a Carol. I don't think you'd remember me. You were just a baby when I was with you.” She almost wept how at much this girl looked like her departed friend. “You look just like your mother.”

Judith look over at Michonne then smiled at Carol. “I do.”

“I have a picture of her.” Carol reached into Charli's bag, and Rick moved forward to see. She pulled out the framed picture, Rick lost his breath at the sight of it, and Judith grasped the frame. “This is Lori. She was a good friend of mine.”

“Lori.” Judith traced a finger over the glass. “She's pretty.”

“She was,” Rick agreed. “You're going to look just like her, too.”

She smiled even wider now. “You look funny.”

“Funny?” He pouted like he'd been hurt. “I look good. I look young.”

Michonne laughed and leaned over to see the picture, remembering getting it with Carl. “She's right. You do look funny.” She asked for the photo. “Carl would love to see this.”

“Well, it's his.” Carol stood up. “I wanted you guys to have it back. It was nice to have a small piece of her with me, but you all need it more.”

“Thank you.” Rick told the kids to go ahead and pick out a movie, seeing Charlotte was already helping herself to the toys on the floor, and he rubbed his jaw. “H... how did you get that picture?”

“I salvaged it from the prison a few days after Phillip attacked.” She picked up Charli's bag. “I... I wanted to tell you about the baby and try and work something out, but then I saw the smoke and the flames. I saved what I could and left it to fall.” She held the bag out. “Here.”

“You're incredible.” Rick accepted the back, and Carol met his eyes. “I want you to know that, because right from the start—the very start—you saved us. And you continued to save us. I... I should have done better, lived the words I said. I'm sorry.”

“It's done, Rick, but... it's nice to hear.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Is he home?”

“Yeah, he's...in his room.” He nodded behind himself. “I can show you.”

“I was just curious.” She shook her head. “But thank you.”

“All right. Come by any time. We're glad to have you.” He excused himself to help them pop the move into the DVD player.

Carol turned to leave when a voice called out to her, and she whirled around as Daryl closed the space between them in what looked like two steps. She didn't want to admit he made her breathless, just like he used to. Like no time had passed whatsoever, and they'd slipped by patrol and laughed softly while fumbling with each other’s clothes. And damn it, he looked good. He wasn't in dark colors, but a denim button-up with light blue jeans. He might have actually brushed his hair, too. He was out to impress, but who?

“I need to talk to you.” He avoided looking at Rick and the kids “You got time now?”

“Not right now, no.” She tucked hair behind her ear and eyed his disappointed reaction, somehow seeing Denise's face in those eyes and repressing an eye roll. “But I am free tonight. Um, it's just bring Charli home for dinner, and we can talk after I put her to bed.”

“B—bring her home?” He grew ashen and fell back from her, his lips parting as only air escaped.

“She's a three-year-old, not a live bomb. You'll be fine.” She looked over her shoulder at Charlotte who had been watching them, probably because they mentioned her name, and Carol blew her a kiss goodbye.

Daryl watched the girl grab the air and give a goof smile, giggling and sending back a huge smooch. He couldn't help but smile at her, and she shot him a sour look. He groaned then. “Okay. I'll bring her home.”

“You should get to know her,” Carol told him without meeting his eyes. “Unless you're busy now.”

“I gotta pick up the wall since Carl's recovering,” he replied. “Spence don't mind if I'm a little late, so I thought I'd talk quick.”

“Daryl, there's no conversation between us that'll be quick.” She grasped the doorknob. “Before the sun's down, please. She doesn't like the dark.”

“Sure thing,” he called after her as she walked out, and he heaved a sigh. Well, they had a dinner talk planned. Though he didn't know if she'd even feed him. He should have asked if he was allowed to have dinner with them. He didn't want to assume. He clearly even got that wrong.

“Good move.” Michonne came off the steps. “I'm proud of you for trying.”

“Well, it's my kid in there, so I have to do more than try.” He looked in on Charlotte, who was playing with Judith while RJ offered up some toys, and his smile returned. “That's my little girl.”

“That's your little girl,” Michonne confirmed. “Why don't you go and play with her?”

“I got the wall,” he reminded, wishing he'd picked up the shift for tomorrow instead, but it was done. “I'll play with her tonight.”

“Not if I wear her out first.” She strolled over to them and sat down to join them, telling them to say goodbye to Uncle Daryl, and three kids waved to him.

He returned it and wondered how everyone else could make this girl say goodbye, but if he looked, he got a sour face. She was too much like him. He used to make that face at his brother when they fought over food then their father would settle that argument. He didn't want her to make that face at him anymore, so he needed to be in her life and give her reason to greet him with a smile. He'd been there for Judith and RJ and Hershel, so how could he not there a hundred percent for his daughter? He'd step up. No matter how their talk went tonight, he would step up and be a dad in any way Charli would let him.

He headed out and started his shift, Spence pretending to be stunned that he was on time, and Daryl told him to go home. He laughed and jogged off to meet Nina and Francine before he lost track of where they would be, and Daryl looked over the land before him, his eyes moving back to the general direction of his home. His home where his daughter was.

He smiled to himself, a tingle coursing throughout his body at the thought, and he honestly wasn't sure how he felt about her. He had more than enough room for her in his heart, and just by seeing her a couple time, she was already there. When he first saw her in Carol's arms, his brain just went blank at those eyes, and he worried for a moment if something terrible had happened to her once Rick cast her out. He didn't even see the part of himself in the girl, only fear and rage, but later after he'd stopped by her place, he figured it out. It was like seeing for the first time to look at her, and he was breathless He never thought he would have a kid, especially in this shitty ass environment, but she was here. She was made entirely by mistake, but she survived all Carol had endured before she found Denise. She survived natural causes that could have taken her. She had made it back to him and to the rest of her family, and that was proof enough of her being his daughter—their daughter. She'd survive this world, wouldn't she?

His eyes moved once more to the road, a chill blowing over him as the wind picked up, and he wondered what that really meant. Aside from having another piece of his blood out in the world and another person he'd die to protect, he had a piece of his family that would survive on long after he was dead. She would carry everything he was and would ever be in her veins and see this world through its changes—the changes they could prepare her for and the changes that could be an even bigger mess than the dead rising.

And scarier still was the fact that she would outlive him. She was only three-year-old, maybe four since Judith was starting to be more like a six-year-old than a five-year-old according to Mordin and Rick. He was...no spring chicken, and he would live as long as he could to watch her grow and to teach her everything he could possibly think to teach her, but he would have to leave her. It wouldn't be his choice, but they would be pulled from each other again and permanently. She would be in this world with neither of them at some point, and that seemed unbearable. To picture the woman, she would become and know he wouldn't be able to be there for her every single day.... It broke his heart.

He'd always placed him in the headspace and lifestyle of never having kids. He liked them. He did, but he didn't trust himself. Not when he was so willing to just follow. He wanted to be able to lead, and if he ever came to that point, maybe he'd have a kid. That was before, and he was high off his ass, watching cartoons with Merle and his junkie dealer. It all went south, and he never had the thought again, but now that thought was alive and feisty and would look to him. He would have to step up. He'd moved farther from the man he used to be than he ever thought he could be, and Carol loved that man at one point. Trusted him and looked to him. So did Rick and Michonne and so many others now. He was a man worth looking to. He needed to act like it, because now he had the most important set of eyes he'd ever find looking at him, and he'd be that man for her. That father for her.

He inhaled deeply and adjusted the rifle in his arms, wondering for a moment Merle would say if he saw him now. Merle was his older brother, his teacher, his only support, even if it wasn't healthy, for the longest time. He was damn close to a brother-in-law if he had his way back at the prison, and now Merle was an uncle. Dead or alive, he was an uncle to Daryl's little girl, and he'd speak with Carol, but she would know about her uncle. The good parts, the best parts. Maybe that could find a home in her and become good and whole and a guiding light for her. Be all that Merle tried and had been at the end.

 _Yeah_ , he nodded to himself, smiling to himself. _Yeah, that's how Merle would want it._

Daryl's mind was filled with various thoughts on his being a father, most of them sparked fervor in him, but some caused his anxiety to shoot through the roof. He would have to calm himself and see what the future would bring. He didn't know that he was ready, but he'd get there and prove himself right for once. Life wasn't a guessing game, after all. It made itself around the choices one made and the steps they took, and he would walk with confidence, holding onto what's right and to his little girl's hand—if she let him.

––

Carol departed from Rick's house and glanced back once with some worry about how Charlotte would answer to a household that had no familiar faces, but she trusted Rick and Michonne. They could handle her. She wasn't a difficult child by any means—for the most part, anyway, she as still three—but she did have nightmares. She was too young for them, but it was Carol's fault. She should have...been faster.

She strolled down the streets to find the house with the ducks on the side, shaking her trepidation on Charli's babysitting arrangement and climbed the stairs to meet the woman who spoke like she knew the entire time and wouldn't mind sharing that information. Hell, maybe any information if Carol asked just nice enough.

She knocked and stepped back, waiting for a moment before Nina opened the door, and Carol couldn't look away. She thought Nina was attractive before, but that was an understatement. She was fine as hell, to be honest, and Carol felt her confidence wafer. Nina hadn't done anything special, no makeup or anything, but she was built to be naturally beautiful. Her hair was naturally wavy down her shoulders, the sundress she wore accentuating her already compliment-worthy body, and her heart-shaped face held a face of such genuine joy. It all was inviting, and damn, Carol couldn't feel annoyed by it either. Her energy was contagious, and Carol found herself smiling as a greeting.

“Carol!” She was grinning at her. “I'm so glad you decided to stop by. It's a little sooner than I thought, but come inside, please.”

They moved to her living room, homework and doodles filled her coffee table, and Nina offered her some iced tea. Carol declined, and Nina brought out some lemon cake instead with fresh water and sat across from Carol, tucking hair behind her ear and asking how she could help.

“I...I just had some time, and I wanted to take you up on your offer. I'd like to get to know you, too. Make a friend outside my family.”

“That's... Wow.” Nina set her hands in her lap. “I'd like that, too. I know about you from Daryl and from Rick, but having you here is a miracle. I'm so glad you found us. It'll be great to raise Charli here, and Mika is already showing an increase in effort. She must have missed you dearly.”

“I missed her,” Carol confessed. “At the prison...where we were before we were broken up, I was asked to adopt her and her sister by their dying father. I... I failed Lizzie, but I'll do right by Mika. I will.”

“I know you will, but you should know, she's one hell of a shot now. She's so trained on her target and great at using her body weight against people.” Admiration shined in her honey eyes, and she sighed lowly to try and contain it. “Daryl's worked for years with her. They've really bonded, sort of like father and daughter. I think he's adopted her a little himself.”

Her heart began to swell in her chest with affection at the confirmations of her thoughts. “Yes, well since I was out of the picture, he'd naturally take over in my place. He knows how much she means to me.”

“So, you mean a lot to Daryl?” She looked thrilled, her grin boosted by her high cheekbones and bronze skin. “Then I'm happy you're here for him. He's gone through so much, and I've been there for him as much as I could, but he was missing someone. I could tell. I guess that was you.”

Her swollen heart panged. “S—since he arrived?”

“Yeah.” Her smile vanished. “I try and help everyone ease into this life, because I've been out there. And coming in is so jarring. We used to do welcoming parties, and I flipped out in mine. Just full on nervous breakdown, and Deanna... A lovely woman who isn't with us anymore stayed by my side without saying a judgmental word and got me through it. I wanted to honor her by doing the same for other people, and Daryl has been...draining. He only moves so much, you know?”

“I know.” She repressed the smile, but her eyes betrayed her.

“I can only do so much, and I've accepted that, but I just...have a slightly selfish incentive to help him.” A blush formed on her cheeks, and she shook her head, embarrassed by her wording. “I mean, I don't want or need anything out of it. I just.. um, well, honestly.... I just....”

“You're in love with him,” Carol finished for her while she stammered nervously.

“I... I might be. I love being around him, just hanging out and talking. He's a...rare soul.” Her smile returned in a loving way, and she laced her fingers together. “We're not really together. In a way. He wants to take it slow, and I'm so busy anyway. I needed Beth's help to clear up time my schedule since I have to double teach, just like Ty, but now there's more people to help with the little things. Maybe we can finally get back on track.”

Carol watched as a girl's love and hope brimmed in those honey eyes. “Must be hard to take it slow.”

She shook her head. “He isn't there, and honestly I don't know if he ever will be, but I'll give it my best shot. I know there are easier relationships, but...he's special. I've never met a man like him before, and I feel that we could be happy together. I know I'd be happy, but he has to be happy, too. I wouldn't force it.”

“You're a beautiful woman,” Carol remarked at the doubt in Nina's voice, “and if I'm right about you, your personality is stunning. How could he not care for you?”

She blushed, bashful but happily. “Thank you, Carol. That's so sweet.” She blew out a sigh. “You're beautiful, too. My God, those eyes.” She made a sweeping gesture to her own face to emphasize her words. “It's a very.... surprising beauty. Almost delicate, but...at the same time, you hold yourself so confidently. I bet Charlotte's dad was a very lucky man.”

Carol almost told her the truth, but she didn't know what that was really. Time had come between them, people, and they needed to talk it out—one on one—before anything was presumed. She would just smile and nod for now.

“Charlotte will quite the picture when she's all grown up, and with your combat skills, she'll be a deadly one.” She saw Carol flinch and reassuringly added, “But so will her communication skills. Violence isn't all we can reach for to resolve an issue.”

“Do you use that in class?” Carol jested, shifting on the couch, self-conscious now.

“I do. A lot, in fact. Kids are so rowdy and full of pent-up energy.” She blew out a fatigued sigh. “I just hope I can handle my own one day.”

“It never gets an easier, trust me.”

“It doesn't? Not even when they're all sleepy and clingy?” She leaned forward toward Carol, hoping for a light answer that wouldn't suck to hear.

“It's somehow worse then. Babysit Charli and see how worse.”

“If you feel comfortable with me, I'd love to babysit Charli.” That megawatt grin was back, and Carol's lip twitched. “I want you to get to know our community, with that sweet angel and without. There are diverse jobs you can sign on for, and if you don't like it, you don't have to stay with it. There's are so many choices, and I think if you got out and saw what they do individually and how it builds us as a whole, you'll find something to sort of...knock the pressure off of this change of scenery. If you ever need me to babysit for that or just get to a moment of peace, just call. Not literally, the phones don't work, but just holler.”

“I will.” She scooted to the edge of the couch. “The cake looks good.”

“It tastes even better. It's a family recipe. My grandfather taught it to me.” She helped herself to her own slice. “It's the only thing I can perfectly make.”

“If you need help in the kitchen, I can show you a few things.” She picked up the fork and noticed a photo underneath the drawings.

“That'd be great. I can only do so much.” She paused before asking, “Do you know what Daryl likes most to eat?”

Carol almost dropped the cake and the plate and the fork at the at question, an almost unwanted memory of their in A block flashing into her mind, and she laughed nervously at the flash of heat through her body. It was by no means from shame, and she crossed her own legs now, forcing a tight smile.

“Not really. He'll eat anything.” That almost made her laugh, but it reminded her how they used to be. When it wasn't all sweet and tender, when there were close calls and just need, and they would get lost to each other. For hours, filling A block with their moans and even scratching metal on stone, soiling clean sheets and leaving marks on each other that nobody else would see. Although the smiling and wincing when sitting did bring comments.

“Good to know.” She cut the cake up into smaller segments and moistened her lips. “I'm sorry to ask you a thousand questions. I just.... I feel like I can trust you, and I don't want to say anything to hurt you.”

Carol arched a brow at her. “What do you want to ask me?”

“What happened to Charli's dad...was it anything I might accidentally bring up and trigger you with? I don't need the personal details, but I don't want to trigger you. Or her, if she remembers him.”

“No. It...happened a long time ago, and you couldn't say anything. I do appreciate the thought.”

She nodded. “Good, it's been stressing me out for a while now.”

“A while now? I've only been here a few days.” She brought the fork up to her mouth and sampled the cake. It was delicious, moist with a kick of lemon that was surprising to find at times like these. She might have to bring some home for the girls.

“I'm an overthinker sometimes.” She picked at the cake on her plate. “Was...Daryl involved with anybody? Back at the prison?”

“Why do you ask?” She lifted her eyes as Nina studied her. “Did he say something?”

“No, but I wondered if he loved someone else and lost them before his group arrived. He seemed to be mourning two kinds of love, and then only one. It would make sense since he's kept our relationship slow. This is mostly curiosity. I just want to know if he might still be in love with that person.”

Her eyes flashed subtly as she lifted a shoulder to shrug, only one second of telling the truth crossing her mind before the lie escaped, “No. There hasn't been anybody else since I've known him.”

She absorbed the information and returned to smiling at her. “Okay, no more Daryl talk. I must sound like a stalker, not a girlfriend.” She shook her head. “Please, ask me something now. Anything, I'm happy to give you parts of my life and our town.”

“I do have a couple questions, actually.” Her lips curved upward to perfectly reflect Nina's smile, her guard up, and she kept the air light. It was better this way. She'd deal... She'd talk to the other part of this relationship tonight and lay it all out. She knew where she stood now.

 


	8. Standing Ground

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Ben came early for his shift, letting Daryl know he had it covered and saying Michonne wanted to talk to him. He thanked him and dashed home to see what was going on; and he found Michonne on the couch with Judith passed out on her lap, RJ curled up on her side and Charlotte was almost crushing Judith as her cheek slid down Michonne's chest. Rick could only laugh, and Michonne didn't mind, but she had to use the bathroom and make dinner, and this wasn't going to end well. A two-year-old, a three year old and a five year old suddenly jolted from a nap? Oh, hell no. She wasn't doing it.

"Get your daughters," Michonne told them, holding her hands up in the air.

"Why is she only my daughter when she's in your way?" Rick mused and sauntered over to her, scooping Judith up and off her lap.

"Because she sleeps just like you do." She smirked. "And how many times has she just been my daughter when she woke up in the middle of the night?"

Rick couldn't argue so he gently rocked Judith in his arms to tenderly rouse her, so she could sleep tonight.

"Daryl." She pointed to Charli, who didn't even blink at falling to Michonne's lap. "She sleeps like her dad, too."

He smiled inside but couldn't move his body. He had barely officially met her, and now he had to pick her up. He wasn't certain he should. He liked consent to being touched. She was out cold. Daughter or not, he was a stranger to her.

"Daryl, it's okay." Michonne spotted the worry in his eyes. "Rick has picked her up all day long, because she is the nosiest kid on earth and will not stay in one room for more than five minute, and she was fine with it."

"She thought it was a game at one point." Rick was ready to chain her to the living room after the thirty-first time. Yes, he counted. She would just giggle and wait until he turned his back on her before running off somewhere else. He was glad Judith was on her like a big sister, because he couldn't keep it up. She was fast, too.

"Sounds like me," Daryl murmured to himself, "when I was a kid."

Charlotte's eyelids twitched, dark lashes fluttered as she began to rouse, and she suddenly shot up. "Mommy?!" She looked around in panic. "Mommy!"

"Hey, hey." Daryl dropped down onto his knees by the couch "It's all right. It's all right."

She was curled up in the corner of the couch, looking around in confusion for a moment before focusing on Rick and his beard. Her eyes glossed over, and she kept looking for her mom, and Michonne slid off the couch with RJ to let Daryl try and calm her down. Though Carol might be the only one to successfully calm her down.

"Where's my mommy?" She moved back from Daryl, chest heaving with the release of panicked breaths.

"She's at home. I'm here to take you to her." Daryl didn't move a muscle, because he didn't want to spook her. He didn't know what evoked this reaction, but he had a feeling there was a story behind it. He'd have to ask Carol about it, because she was shaking. She was honestly terrified of them with Carol not here.

"I want my mommy." She whimpered. "Denise..."

Michonne and Rick exchanged a look

"All right." Daryl held his hand out to her, and she eyed him and his hand. "I'll take you to your mom. I promise."

She stared at him and stopped whimpering, tilting her head to the side as those wide sapphires studied him, and she touched her mouth. "It's the same."

"Yeah, it's the same." He offered a smile of reassurance. "C'mere."

She leaned forward and moved her hand by his outstretched palm, and she touched his face, feeling the beauty mark they shared in fascination. Her little hand on his cheek caused him to stop breathing, and she moved closer, looking at his hair now and grabbing his chin. He prepared himself in case she yanked on anything, but she just grazed her hand over his jaw and tugged lightly on his long hair. "That, too."

He reached out slowly and caught loose strands of her hair, and it was the same. Only hers was softer and a shade lighter. "Yeah." His voice was raw, so much so that if tears had a voice, it would match his tone. "It's real pretty."

"Yours, too." She dropped her hand. "Can we see Mommy now?"

"Yeah, 'course."

She shifted onto her knees and held her arms up, Daryl glanced back at Rick and Michonne, who both gestured to the kids in their arms as to what Charlotte wanted, and he stood up, picking her up. He was worried he was holding her wrong, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and latched on like a damn tick. If he dropped his arms, she'd still be there. If he ran into a wall, she'd still be there.

"Her shoes are in her bag. I gave her a pair of Judith's old ones. Hers were too worn." Michonne pointed to it. "She had some snacks, but no dinner."

"All right." He shouldered the bag, Charlotte's eyes were drooping again already, and she murmured goodbye to Michy and Rick.

"That's gonna stick," Michonne noted. "I've had worse."

"Better than the stripper name her uncle gave me." Rick moved hair from the girl's face. "Have a good night, Charli."

"Bye." Judith clasped her hand and smiled sleepily at her new friend.

Charli buried her face in Daryl's shoulder like a puppy would, but she mumbled a bye to Judith.

"Have a good night, too." Michonne headed upstairs to let RJ hang out with his brother whole they prepared dinner. "C'mon, baby, let's check on your brother."

Rick closed the door once Daryl was out, and Daryl minded how he walked down the steps, but Charlotte didn't seem bothered. He carried her home and found Mika was already there, greeting him with a wide smile and taking the bag from his shoulder. He had to get her help to pry Charli off his body, and she coiled up on the couch, and Mika covered her up with a blanket.

"Should we wake her up?" Daryl pointed to the child. "So she can sleep tonight?" Like Rick had done with Judy?

"And risk a full-on tantrum?" Carol walked into the room. "Go right ahead."

He didn't realize she was home, though now he could hardly keep his eyes off of her. She'd changed out of loose, faded top and near ratty cargo pants and into a more form fitting outfit. A dark blue shirt and well-fitted jeans. He could remember instantly what was just underneath, but the outfit did hug her hips just right in case he needed reminding.

Mika rolled her eyes at Daryl's ogling eyes and smirked at Carol. "I'm done with the potatoes."

"Did you cut some into small pieces?"

"Yes." She nodded her head. "They are Charlotte-sized."

"Thank you, sweetie." Carol glanced at Daryl. "She has some homework. Do you wanna look over it? I have to get the roast in."

"Yeah, sure." He turned to Mika. "What'd we got today?"

"Grammar and properly naming non-toxic mushrooms and berries." She guided him into the dining room, sitting down at the table and pulling her homework out from the worn yellow fold she'd gotten when she first arrived in Alexandria. "I know I'm good with the mushrooms, slightly confident about the berries, and the grammar is fine, too."

"Bet you miss science." Daryl looked over the pages of work and had a seat. "When's that class?"

"Tomorrow." She was grinning. "We're doing an experiment. It's a surprise experiment, but I'm so happy to be doing it. Whatever it is."

"I'll bet, just remember to tie your hair back this time." He smirked at her, and she laughed. "I ain't goin' through that again."

Carol looked in from the kitchen, having heard their conversation. "What happened last time?"

"I honestly don't know how it happened," Mika began, "but in science class, we did an experiment. It was seven months or so after we'd gotten here, so I was excited to learn. Then...somehow my hair caught on fire."

"Oh, my God." Carol's eyes widened. "Were you hurt?"

"Not really. I mean, I lost most of my hair, but Daryl was there to supervise my group. I'm glad I asked him, because he acted immediately and got the fire put on. I just...had an unfortunate haircut." She pressed her lips together at the horror of that haircut, but it was probably her own fault. She was could barely sit still, and she wasn't listening to the teacher, and it was just downhill from there. "I wasn't allow to participate in experiments for a couple months after that."

"She wasn't burned?" She looked to Daryl now. "At all?"

"A couple burns on her back from her shirt catchin' fire, but it wasn't too bad." He kept eye contact. "I wouldn't let her get hurt, you know."

"I know. I just... I missed a lot." She crossed her arms over her chest. "And you asked him to be there?"

"Well, it was bring your parent day, but...you weren't there, so I asked Daryl." She groaned when he dropped a hand on her hair and ruffled it. "Don't, please."

Carol smiled at the scene before her, and while it did sting to miss part of Mika's childhood, she felt warm and grateful Daryl had been there for her. He was a good man, and he'd proven himself to be a good father with how he was with Judith and now Mika. She was proud of him, and she wished she could thank him for all he'd done, but he didn't do it for thanks. He did it, because he loved Carol and now he loved Mika, so he did it out of love for the child. A father's love.

"Okay, you two are gross." Mika stood up. "It feels like I'm hanging out with Enid and Carl with all the eyes."

Carol blushed, hiding it with a look of confusion. "What are you talking about?"

She couldn't help the amused smile. "Please, I'm thirteen with good eye sight. Don't insult me, ma'am."

Daryl was staring hard at homework he'd been asked to check, the tips of his eyes on fire.

"I'm not trying to insult you. I just don't know what you mean. I have to check on the potatoes." She turned on her heel and slipped deeper into the kitchen. She didn't expect Mika to call them out anything, but apparently more had changed than she thought.

Mika peeked at Daryl and grinned. "I knew it."

"Knew what?" he grumbled, pretending to be grouchy as he moved to the next page. "Those aren't right. You got 'em switched." He gestured to the two types of mushrooms on the page.

"Oh, I did?" She picked up her pencil to erase it and correct it. "And you and Carol. I thought she asked you to look after me, but that didn't seem right. Carol can look after me herself. You like her."

"I don't like her." He looked over her essay. "We used to...be in a relationship, but we're not anymore, all right? I did look after you for her, but she's back now, and you're doin' pretty good on your own."

"Does this mean we can be a family? If you two get back together, of course." She studied him. "That'd be nice, you know, if it happened."

Daryl didn't get a chance to answer because a thud sounded in the living room, he set the papers down and hurried in to find Charlotte on the floor, having rolled off the couch. Mika called to Carol to let her know what had happened, and Daryl knelt down beside her, just watching her process what happened. He didn't touch her or console her, and she looked about ready to cry, but she didn't.

"You okay?" He heard Carol and Mika entering behind him.

She turned to him with discomforted expression. "Butt hurts."

"Yeah, I guess so." He tried not to laugh, because she looked so serious. "You wanna stand?"

She eyed his hands then grasped one with both hands and pulled herself up. She walked over to her mom and asked about food, rubbing at her eye, and Carol stroked her hair, telling her it'd be done in a bit. She nodded and returned to Daryl, tossing her arms around his shoulders and sleepily moaning.

"Uhhh?" Daryl didn't know what this meant.

"You're her pillow now." Carol informed him, "She wants to sleep with you, but you both won't fit on the couch, so you're a pillow."

"Sleep with me?"

"She likes to cuddle, too," Carol teased.

"I knew it," Mika murmured.

Carol shook her head and headed back to the kitchen, Mika tossed a blanket at Daryl and went to look over her essay with Carol, and Daryl tried to just sit on the couch, but Charlotte was angled so he couldn't. He had to lie down, and it wasn't hard to get comfortable, and she rolled over so that her back was to his chest and just passed out again. He actually laughed and wondered if this kid was his or Merle's, because Merle did this all the time when he was coming down from a high. Only he drooled more. She had the spirit of her uncle, that was for sure.

He felt himself starting to fall asleep with her, so he wrapped an arm around her torso to keep her from falling, and she slapped a hand down over his and gripped his fingers. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but he loved her. God, he already loved her, and he wanted to protect her. He wanted her safe more than anything. It wasn't all love that he felt, he realized as his chest pinched. He'd missed three years of her life, and yes, he would have so many more years with her, but she didn't even know who he was. He was just a pillow to her. It felt like a kick in the teeth, but he wanted her to know who he was. He wanted to be around her. He needed to talk to Carol.

In the kitchen Mika was offering to help Carol since she'd finished with her essay, and Carol knew she had questions by the sideeye she kept cutting Carol's way. Carol prepared most of their dinner and decided to just tell her. She was older now, and if Daryl was going to be around, she had a right to know. Besides it might spare them the inappropriate comments around company.

"Daryl and I were in a relationship for over five months at the prison," Carol confessed to the girl. "That's when we made Charlotte, though she wasn't intentional."

She nodded. "You love each other?"

"We did, but that was a long time ago."

"I don't think it's been that long. Not with how you look at each other." She helped herself to some strawberries from the leftover pile. "He's never looked at anybody like that."

Her lips ghosted a smile. "Nobody? Not even Nina?"

"Especially not Nina. They're friends, but only because she pushed for it so hard." She shook her head. "No, I wouldn't say it like that. She did push, but it was for his benefit. Then she started to like him, I guess. She can't hide it for anything."

"Yeah, I noticed." She cleaned up the dirtied bowls and knives. "Just friends, huh?"

"Yeah, but they spend a lot of time together. They go on hunts and train together. I sit in now and then, even gone outside to hunt with them, and it was really fun. Nina's fun." She dried the knives Carol handed her. "She's the type of person to overcome anything thrown at her, and that's pretty awesome."

"That is pretty awesome." Carol smiled. "I like Nina. She's an open book."

"And lethal." Mika leaned closer to her. "She's great with her bow."

"Yeah?" Carol could tell there was a story here. "How do you know that?"

"We were almost kidnapped by some random group while we were all out hunting." She kept her voice low. "Daryl has no idea this happened, because he went a couple miles ahead to scout. We were just walking and having a good time, picking up berries, nuts and mushrooms here and there. All of a sudden these four people come at us, and I panicked, but not Nina. She pushed me into a hollowed out tree to deal with them. She didn't even use a single arrow."

"Then how is she great with the bow?" Carol didn't like this story. In fact, she hated it. Who were these people? A random group? Part of something larger?

"She used the bow like a sword. She went after the biggest guy and used the bow to choke him, making a shield out of him when they tried to fire at her. She went after the next guy by tossing the other one at him and knocking his head open with the bow. The other two were kind of scared by that point, and—oh, I lied. She did her arrows."

"They tried to run?"

She nodded. "She shot them clean through the heart. It was intense, but I learned to act instead of react. I asked Daryl to help me with it, and I'm getting better with it."

"That's good." She glanced at the doorway then back to her daughter. "Daryl never found out?"

"No. She said it wasn't worth worrying him over, and we caught up to him. He didn't ask any questions, and we stuck together until we were done with the hunt." She blew out a sigh. "It was awful, but I understand now. It doesn't make me mean to stop bad people. It means I'm protecting my family and myself and preventing them from doing worse to other people."

"That's right." Carol dried her hands. "You're so smart, Mika."

"Thank you. I've had a lot of great teachers." She grinned. "You were always my favorite, though."

She returned her grin and hugged her. "I've missed you. Tell me more about what I missed." She guided her over to the dining room to have a real talk while they waited for dinner to finish.

"Gosh, where do I start?"

There wasn't a lot of time to catch up before dinner was ready, but Mika supplied Carol with the most important stories of the last three years. Carol told her not to rush, they had plenty of time to really catch up, but Mika was too excited. She wanted her to know how she'd been, and she wanted to know how Carol and Charlotte had been. She lost herself in tales of hunting and training and being around Daryl. Mika could tell those made Carol both the happiest and most apprehensive respectively. She had so much to tell her, and as the buzzer for the oven went off, Mika realized she had time. She slowed her rushed words and calmed her heart's pounding and smiled to herself. There was time, and she'd make the most of it.

Mika helped Carol set the table then went to wash up while Carol woke up Daryl and Charli. Carol had to take a minute at the sight of her little girl all sprawled on her daddy, and Daryl's arm protectively placed over her stomach to keep her from falling off the couch again. She smiled down at the sight of them then gently roused them.

Charlotte shot straight up with messy hair and drool drying on the corner of her mouth. "Dinner?"

"Yes, it's time for dinner." She removed Daryl's arm carefully and set Charli down on the floor. "Go wash up, okay?"

She yawned loudly and headed towards the kitchen, Daryl jolted awake at the yawn and Carol chuckled softly at him. He rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye and squinted at her, disoriented from the nap he didn't intend to take, but at the sight of her laughter and her smile, he didn't feel so groggy. Well, he felt groggy, but he didn't mind it as much.

"What's goin' on?"

"Dinner's ready." She pointed to the kitchen. "Wash up."

"Yeah, okay."

Once everyone had clean hands, Carol and Daryl prepared the plates and brought them into the dining room. Mika remembered the tea she made last night and brought it out so they had more to drink than just milk or water, though Carol kept Charlotte's drink as milk, and Daryl stuck to just water. Charlotte was squatting in her chair, Carol told her to just sit, but she didn't listen. She was too eager for their meal and dug into with her favorite purple spork the moment Daryl set it down in front of her.

"You decide what you'll do?" Daryl asked Carol, who was watching in almost horror at the mess Charlotte was making of her plate, but luckily, it was just on her plate—and only mashing foods together, but still, manners.

"Not yet." She shifted her eyes to his. "I spoke to Nina about what was available, but I don't know what would be best."

"We could always use more teachers," Mika suggested. "And it isn't all school. It's training and gathering and stuff."

"Yeah, Nina mentioned that to me, too." She rubbed her neck. "I just don't know. Maybe I'll try something new."

He nodded and adjusted his grip on his fork. "You met Nina?"

"Yeah, a couple times." She dropped her hand to her lap and studied his eyes for any indication of how that made him feel. "She's nice. She wants us to be friends."

"She's like that with everyone," he agreed. "She's a good person. You'll like her."

"So, you like her then?"

"Who doesn't like her?" he evaded. "She's helpful and real friendly. She's got a happy personality; the kind that rubs off on other people. She's been great with Judy and RJ and Hershel. Bet she'll be great with Charlotte, too, if you want that."

"I might, and you're avoiding the question." Her eyes narrowed as dread set in. "What do you think of her?"

"I already said what I think about her." Daryl dropped his eyes to his plate. "Why don't we talk about somethin' else? I mean, Nina ain't the only interestin' person in town. You should meet our other doctor, Mordin, and Eugene. They've got stories, if you can keep up with 'em."

She forced a smile. "I'm sure. I'd like to get settled in before I meet any other people. It's a huge change in our lives, and this town is seems lovely, but mostly it makes me miss home."

Daryl's head snapped up, and he frowned. "This... this is your home."

"No, it's just a house I live in and a new town to me. Home is...the grove, Charlotte and Denise." She smiled fervently over at daughters. "Mika. That's home." There was another person who was home, but she couldn't bring herself to say his name. She wasn't sure it was true anymore. They were different people now and had different loves. She would make peace with that, but for now, it was an open wound. She'd have to deal with that, too.

He choked down roast and potato, not tasting the once delicious meal, bobbing his head as he couldn't find actual words. He wanted to be supportive of her views, but that felt like razor blades in his belly. He couldn't believe she had fallen out of love with him. He couldn't believe that everything they had meant nothing to her, that they would be raising their child together but apart. He never saw himself becoming a father, but he had always hoped to be with Carol together through all the world threw at them. And now to sit here and be told she had built a new life without him, that she didn't even consider him home anymore, felt worse than anything his father had ever done to him.

Mika filled in the silence with funny jokes and conversation, stories of camping in the backyard with Enid and Carl and Sam. She was still such a happy person, radiating an aura of pure joy that seemingly couldn't be destroyed. That aura blissfully swallowed up the awkward tension among them, and Carol loosened up and laughed, and even Daryl was able to crack a smile at the child's tales. He knew all of them, but he liked to reminisce with her. They were good times, and Mika knew just how to capture them. She had a storyteller's soul in her, and Daryl had told her that before. Nina, too, even, and she was using it to her advantage.

Once the food had been cleared, Carol slice into the dessert of strawberry "cake", and Mika asked to watch a movie with dessert. Carol didn't see why not and started to explain to Charli what a movie was, but Rick had already told her. She matter-of-factly made this known with hands on her hips and a head bob, and Carol chuckled under her breath, telling her to be careful with and to chew. She nodded and accepted the bowl, running after Mika to put in the movie with the green ogre and the talking donkey, and Carol turned to find Daryl standing beside her, offering to help her with the dishes.

"Oh, wow. Nobody ever offers. Um, thanks." She averted her eyes quickly and began to clean up the dinner plates. She would have dessert later, her stomach currently in knots at the knowledge that she and Daryl were about to have a serious talk about Charli and Nina. She couldn't bear to hear him tell his love of another woman to her. He was already touchy about the subject of Nina, meaning there was something between them, and she was old news. It wasn't anything she could have imagined when she thought about finding Daryl, and clearly that was why this was happening. Jesus, let this conversation end before any tears came. She couldn't bear to cry in front of him, to show how much she still cared. He had moved on, and it felt like a machete to the gut, but Nina was lovely, and she could make him happy; so Carol wasn't going to intervene. She would stand back and let their relationship bloom. Maybe become friends with Nina. After all, she might become a stepmother to Charli and bear Charli's half-siblings.

 _Oh, God._ She squeezed her eyes shut at the idea of Daryl and Nina kissing and having sex, her shoulders trembled as a semi-disgusted shuddered coursed through her, leaving rocks in her stomach and a lump in her throat.

"You all right?" Daryl set a dry plate down on the counter, having noticed her shudder. "You cold?"

"No, I'm fine." Her lips painted a fake smile, and she knew he would see through it, but she had to try. "Let's just finish this up and join the kids."

"Actually, could we talk while they watch the movie?" He lifted his eyes from the cup he was drying currently and met her eyes. "It's been long enough, don't you think?"

She squeezed the sponge and nodded. "Sure."

They finished up the dishes and put them away, Carol offered him some dessert, but he declined—she wasn't the only one with nerves like rocks in the gut. They moved to the archway underneath the stairs that lead into the playroom, sitting down on the cushioned benches built into the walls. It was a favorite spot of both parties, and it was built with Carol in mind. He would have told her that, but it didn't feel like the right time. Clearly, that time might not come again.

"I have—" Carol began at the same time Daryl spoke, "Where do—?"

Carol chuckled softly, the hum of a familiarity not lost on her, and she smiled. "You start."

"Nah, you go ahead. You actually have a start, so go on." He shifted on the bench across from her and laid his arms to rest loosely between his thighs.

"I have some baby pictures of Charli." She rose from the bench and collected the worn shoe box from the top of the fridge. She handed it over and explained how she took the Polaroid camera from the prison at his confusion. She'd even gone back to the Big Spot, gathering what she could from the rumbled remains. This she kept to herself. She didn't want his concern on past events. She survived, and it helped Charli and Denise to survive.

Daryl removed the top of the box, the worn cardboard limp as it sagged over the bench, and he reached inside to see pictures everywhere. He gathered them all up in his hand and balanced the empty box on his knee. Blue eyes consumed the images on the black and white slips of photo paper, and he couldn't help the smile crossing his lips.

The first one was of Denise and Carol when they were unpacking or packing up items, and it was a smiley shot of a heavily pregnant Carol. She was wearing one of his shirts from the prison. He knew because the sleeves were cropped crappily by being ripped instead of cut, and she looked perfect, wrapped up in his shirt, carrying their child and smiling widely, naturally. It was an instant favorite.

The next was of Carol outside. She was surrounded by wildflowers, sitting Indian style, and she was reading, the book propped up on her plump belly. She didn't seem to expect the photo, but it was a great picture. She looked to be glowing, easily eight or nine months pregnant, silver curls down her shoulders, sapphire eyes focused on the words written on the pages. A peace about her as she sat in the fall leaves and yellow flowers.

The next series of pictures were of his little girl. The first one that caught his attention was of Carol and Charlotte outside in the snow. Charli was still young, likely only a few months out, and Carol had them both bundled up and snug on the front porch, an angelic smile painted on their lips. He wondered for a moment what Carol was doing with her out in the cold like that, but he knew Carol wouldn't have done it risk Charli. She likely was just enjoying their first snow together. Once he asked, she confirmed that was mostly right. She was also enjoying the sounds of winter and the early morning birds chirping and lightly crunch on the snow bank.

There was a picture of Denise and Charlotte, and his eyes closed in on his daughter. Waves of chestnut hair fell down small two-year-old shoulders, milky skin of her father kissed by a late-summer tan, sapphire eyes mirror a diamond with how they sparkled, and the little plaid romper was made from the same shirt Carol wore when she was pregnant. Her knees partially overlapped as her ankles linked, and she was speaking from how open her mouth was. Likely learning to read or at least recite with Denise.

He flipped through the pictures, seeing pictures of a snowball fight later that season, smiles and laughter, sleepy snapshots, first steps, and there was one of all of them curled up on the couch. It was the last in the stack, and it showed the home Carol had made with Denise and their daughter. He could see why and how she had adjusted her meaning her family and home. They had a strong relationship, a beautiful one, and he was envious but grateful Carol had that relationship rather than drifting alone.

"She's had a good life," Daryl commented. "She looks just...us."

"She does and has." She smiled softly. "Denise and I raised her well. We wanted her to know joy and laughter, and we had some bad times, but she's a happy child."

"Yeah." He swallowed hard and helped up the picture of Denise teaching Charlotte to read. "Could I keep this?"

"It's my favorite, too." She nodded. "You can have it. I have the memory."

"You sure?"

"I'm positive." She rested her hands in her lap, resisting the urge to bounce her leg anxiously up and down. "So, where do you want to start this conversation?"

He tucked the photo inside his vest pocket and placed the others back in the shoe box, closing it and placing it beside him. He met her eyes once more and admitted, "Could we start over?"

She knew instantly what he meant, but she couldn't do it. They had vast memories in their past, and they meant the world to her. She told stories to Charlotte and thought back on all their good and bad times throughout the years. She didn't want to start over, and he was in no position to start over. He knew that, so why would he ask?

"We can't do that." Tightening fingers grasped her heart at the words coming out of her mouth. "We're not the same as we were, and we can't start over again. We both already have. I like where I am. I know you do, too, with yourself."

The tightening fingers had a ravenous reach as they claimed Daryl's heart as well. Dark and cold, twisting up along the width of his heart and taking his lungs as they did. Each breath felt strained, and they came quicker and quicker as his heart pounded and fought and shattered against the grip of those fingers. Air seemed to feel his mind as his eyes burned, and he couldn't process those words. He knew time had passed, but he felt as he did the morning they parted. Perhaps even more than he did then. He had lost her and found her and loved her that much more, but she didn't want to rebuild what they had. She wanted to let it lie in pieces. Why?

Carol saw silvery tears shimmering in his eyes, and they reflected in hers. "Did you really think it would be so simple?" She searched his eyes for a moment, seeing a hope against all odds there, and the pain that brought her was more than she thought she was possible of processing. After all this time, after so many wishes and prayers, after telling herself to just give it up, to stop caring, to stop loving a man she would never see again—it was still there. Soft, small, slowly unraveling once more like a flower in the springtime sun.

Yet she couldn't allow it to bloom. She couldn't let herself feel it any further. She wrapped the small, soft, unraveling bud tightly in her hand and squeezed it down. She compressed it, though it did nothing to lessen it, only made it pinch against her skin. A noticeable ache. Unavoidable in the grand scheme of life, but for now she could avoid. She could protect herself by wrapping it up tightly and brushing it away. After all this time, it was all she could do anymore. To love him this much and know how much had changed felt like a meteor crashing down on top of her, only it never touched. It simply dropped and dropped and dropped again and again, every muscle in her body flinching for impact that would never come.

Her muscle were sore from the stress of what may come, her lips squeezed tight to the point of swollen, and her teeth felt like shattering at the pressure they were gritted with. She couldn't survive the unknown. To have such joy and love and bliss only for the world to sweep through and take it away. For years, it was taken away, and it had made a child lose out on her father as well. The world hadn't just come of her; it had come for Charlotte, too and Carol couldn't bear that. For the world to come and take more from her child, her sweet baby girl as it had her older sister before her. No. No, this couldn't happen. He was involved, and so was she, even if the involvements weren't in the same manner. They were still involved—respectively.

"Did you think we could go back to how things were before?" She could see the slightest nod of his head, though he seemed to still it as soon as he felt it, gnawing on his bottom lip, and she sighed softly. "We can't, Daryl."

"Why not?" It was the softest she'd ever heard his voice, like a child in a dark room, requesting the light to be left on for bedtime. But it couldn't be left on. They were too old for such things, and there were important lessons in the dark. "Carol, we're good together. You know that, and… Well, we got the baby, and I want to be in her life—in both your lives. So why not?"

"Because everything has changed. I'm not who I was, and neither are you. We can't just jump back into bed together, and besides you… you have other attachments now."

"Carol, we don't gotta jump back into anything. We can take it slow and learn about each again. I just… I just want you. I want us…like how we were but now with our girls. Our family." He leaned forward and set his hands carefully on hers in her lap, blue eyes twinkling down at her, lowering her resolve, causing her to remember everything, forcing her hands apart as the small bud wasn't so small anymore.

"But we aren't an us anymore." She rose and backed away from him. "You can be involved with Charlotte. You can come by and play with her and teach her and help me raise her, but we'll do it as friends. The same with Mika, but that's it. Truthfully, we hardly an us anymore. We've spent more time apart than together, and it's done. We will make what we are now work for the girls. We'll learn about each other again, but we won't be as we were. You're a good man, so don't disrespect her like this."

He lowered his eyes to the floor silently.

Weakly, Carol found herself saying, "I care about all of you, but I am here for them now. Charlotte's all… just about all I've had the last couple years, and I have to be steady for her. I have to be here for her and her big sister. You have to understand that, Daryl. At least respect it."

"Carol." It was an argumentative tone, and he knew she'd cut him off, but he had to try. "I—"

"Please respect that. I… I have to go check on Charli, make sure she isn't giving Mika a hard time. I'll give you some space, and we can talk about raising Charli and nights over at your place when you're ready." She studied his face before backing up and walking away. She balled her fists and hugged herself, trying not to let emotion win. She had a lot to consider, and this was happening too fast—and somehow too soon. She couldn't do this. Not now, maybe not even tomorrow, and Daryl deserved someone who was sure. She wasn't right now, but Nina was. Maybe their relationship had run its course to make way for something new and wonderful between him and Nina.

The tears in her eyes hoped not, but the love she had for him hoped he found someone or something good to hold on to. For her, it had become their daughter and Denise. She had only those two for so long, and she had tried to convince herself to let go, but she never could. She loved him so much it was killing her to walk away, but she could remember the pain of being alone on the road, of thinking—hell, of knowing—she wouldn't see him again. If these walls were to fall, she couldn't endure it again. The closeness, the love, the warmth and security, all of those were there one moment and ripped away the next. She thought she could bear it—being here with him again and being friends—but she couldn't just yet. It was too fresh a wound. She was confused on her own feelings, for sure. To love him and no longer know him, to love him and see someone else was close to him and love him in the same way felt like…betrayal and almost like failure on her part. She felt mixed up, and it was starting to show, so no more. She would box this up and let this life he built here play out as he'd built it. It was all she could do. It was the only option that felt okay now. Although okay wasn't the word to use, but she couldn't go there either. Not right now.

She joined the girls, stopping short in the hall and seeing the movie was about over; the dessert bowls were empty, and it was about time for bed by how Mika's head kept bobbing. She wiped her eyes and strolled into the room, pulling out a smile. "Hey."

Mika inhaled sharply. "Hey, Mom." She rubbed her eye and realized what she'd said. "Um, ma'am."

Carol chuckled. "I think Mom's fine, Mika."

She grinned happily. "Okay."

"It's time for bed." She snuffled and turned the TV off as Donkey finished up his wedding song, and Charlotte's eyes narrowed at her mom's face. "I'll be up to tuck you in later. I have to see Daryl out."

Charlotte sat up and saw Daryl in the hall by the door, looking equally upset, and she frowned. "No."

"Honey, it's bedtime. Don't argue with me."

"You're sad. I don't like it." She slid off the couch and marched over to her mother. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."

She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Mommy." It was in the same tone Carol used when Charli would lie about sneaking cookies or oat cakes. "Don't lie."

"I'm not lying, baby." She bent down to be at eye level and stroked her hair. "I'm sleepy is all. It's been a huge day."

She dropped her hands and ran over to Daryl, trying to shove him. "Bully!"

"Charlotte!" Carol shot up and tried to stop her, but Daryl shook his head. "That is not okay."

"You hurt my mommy!" She pounded little fists into his thighs, and she groaned. "I hate you!"

"Charlotte Andrea Dixon!" Carol reprimanded, and she flinched, halting her actions immediately. "Come here."

She whined but returned to her mother's side. "I'm not sorry."

"You are going to be." She grasped her arm and pulled her into the playroom to have a talk to her in private.

Mika stood up slowly and looked at Daryl. "Congratulations."

He tried to smile, but it didn't meet his eyes. "I should check on them."

"Yeah, I'm gonna get to bed." She hugged him goodnight and jogged up the stairs to her bedroom, blowing out a sigh at the reveal. "Wof."

Daryl waited a moment before Carol and Charlotte returned, Charlotte apologized for her behavior, but stuck her tongue out at him when her mom was distracted, and he chuckled to himself. Carol knew instantly Charli had done something rotten, and she apologized for it. Charlotte then huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You shouldn't be so huffy." Carol set a hand on her head and lowered herself down beside her.

"Why not?" Charlotte inquired. "He's a meanie."

"He isn't a meanie. I was upset by someone else." She stroked her baby fine hairs and smiled lovingly at her. "Charlotte, baby, this is your daddy. This is the man from all our stories about your father."

"My..." She gasped and looked at Daryl, blue eyes filling with tears, small shoulders quaking, and she slapped both hands over her mouth before running at him.

Daryl dropped down to catch her, and she wrapped her arms around her his neck, burying her face in his neck and digging her little fingers in. His heart broke at her sobs, and she let him pick her up. She wrapped her legs around his torso as best she could, and he rubbed the small of her back with his thumb. He couldn't help the fervor blooming in his chest as she hugged him and apologized sincerely; and he kissed her forehead, realizing he was holding his daughter in his arms—hugging and consoling her.  _This is my little girl._

Carol set a hand on her shoulder and rubbed circle comfortingly into her shoulder blade, smiling thoughtfully at Daryl, and for the first time since she'd come to this town, she felt connection to Daryl. It felt incredible, and she knew they could do this. Be a family and raise their daughters. It wouldn't be all sharp and tears. It could be moments like this, and that was something to work for.


	9. Heaven Or Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Entire chapter is a flashback.

_Carol walked the yard, the chill of winter had definitely set in, and she tugged her jacket tighter around her. There were a few walkers at the fence, but there was a new group moving in to clear them out. She exhaled and shuddered, distantly hearing the kids in the yard laughing and throwing snow balls. She looked over as the newest arrivals built snowmen and went after other kids for knocking into them. She couldn't help but smile. The normalcy of those actions warmed her heart, and she laughed with them. It was such a sight to see, and she was glad to be there to see it._

_Sadly, she wasn't glad to be out in the cold. She turned and headed inside, knocking her boots on the wall before stepping in. She wished it had been as warm as Hershel's home, but it was...manageable. She would have to get a couple more blankets from the supply Daryl and Michonne had brought in. Hopefully Daryl wouldn't be there this time, because if she had to live with his teasing again, she might have to burrito wrap him in his sleep and leave him there for a few hours to stew. She didn't mind teasing, but he wasn't the greatest at it, and she knew that, but she did have to throw it right back. He always left with red ears, but he always came later. It made her smile to think about it._

_She drew in cool air and shuffled through the kitchen where Beth was playing with Judith, offering a wave to the girls, and Beth returned it. She stretched her arms and unbuttoned her coat, tugging on her scarf and walking the familiar path to the stock room. She dropped her overcoat off in the laundry pile since she would be there later today, and she adjusted her scarf around her light-ish coat. She would have to convince Daryl that there were indoor coats and outdoor coats. He always stuck with that poncho, which she might have to steal, because it was actually very warm. There was no way he'd let her get away with it, but she'd try._

_She entered the stock room and found Michonne and Rick going over their food supply for the winter, Daryl and Glenn were leaning against the wall, and she just slid on through them towards the back where clothes and blankets were kept. She heard his boots before she heard his voice, and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips as Rick and Michonne's voices faded out and his boots stopped short behind her._

_“You going to say hi, or just stalk me?” She found the thick knit blankets she'd seen Beth and Maggie folding from the line. It was rough from the air dry, but it would keep her toasty warm all night long. There were other ways to do that, but she was a lady._

_“Figure I'm good at the latter.” He smirked at her. “You look cold.”_

_“Really? I was going for woman loses fingers at the end of the world..” She flashed a grin over her shoulder at him and pulled the blanket down from the shelf. “Don't judge me.”_

_“I ain't judgin' you.” He looked down at the blanket. “How many you got now?”_

_“Oh, about half the stock.” She nodded while he chuckled softly. “I was considering sleeping in all the coats, but after the kids got a hold of them...yeah, no.”_

_“I can try and get you a heater, scrounge up some batteries or somethin'.” He had a run planned with Glenn and Michonne to score some more food before the weather became anymore foul. “Sound good?”_

_“No, you don't need to make it a priority.” She waved it away, but he insisted. “Daryl, it's fine.”_

_“It ain't fine if you're gonna turn blue and freeze your ass off. It's just one more thing.”_

_“If...you happen to find one, and it isn't too much trouble then sure. But,” she reached out and grasped his poncho to force him to look into her dead serious sapphire eyes, and for a moment he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to look away, “do not even think about retrieving it if it puts you in any type of danger. I would rather be frozen and gripe at you than have you be dead. You got it?”_

_He nodded, or he thought he was, but she narrowed her eyes at him, and he stammered. “Y—yeah, I got it. Yeah.”_

_“Good. I worry enough.” She loosened her fingers. “I wish you'd let me come with you.”_

_“It's a small group, ain't nothin' to get excited for,” he murmured. “Maybe on the next one.”_

_“You always say but somehow Michonne or Glenn or Sasha or...Rick always seem to have first dibs.” She inhaled. “You taught me how to protect myself. T-dog taught me. Lori. Andrea. I can take care of myself out there, Daryl.”_

_“I know you can, but you got nothin' to prove.” He searched her eyes. “Not to me or anybody.”_

_“I want to watch your back out there. That's what I want. It's not about prove. It's...about ensuring my best friend gets home safe.” She offered a compassionate smile. “Besides...you else is gonna almost loose toes with me?”_

_He chuckled awkwardly. “Let's not relive that one.”_

_“I don't know.” She tilted her head to the side and smirked at him. “It was a good trip.”_

_“Maybe...the next one will be better.” He cleared his throat and heard Glenn call to him. “We leave tomorrow, so I oughta get out there.”_

_“I'll be in laundry with a toddler who wants to gum my pinkie off.” She set a hand on his arm in passing a goodbye and headed out._

_Daryl watched her leave and followed in her wake to find Glenn and Michonne outlining a course to their location. Rick pulled himself to ask for a few things for Judith, and Daryl suddenly hoped battery-operated heaters weren't so hard to acquire, because he had two requests and his word he'd given. He knew Judy would definitely get the first, but if there was only one or only two, who would get the bad news or the last heater? He didn't want to tell an old woman she couldn't rest her joints in a warm cell this winter, but he could tell her babysit Judith for warmth. He doubted she'd take it that well. Her or Beth, actually._

_After dinner and an awful round of stories for the kids, Daryl headed to his room to turn in for the night and found someone waiting for him. Well, he saw a hideously yellow blanket then he saw the woman holding it with an apologetic wince on her face. He had just some from her cell. Well, he'd stopped by the bathroom and got some water, but he had no idea how or why she was up here with him. Outside his cell...instead of in the mountain of blankets she had thrown about her own._

_“Hey....” She drew the word out and cleared her throat. “I... You know what, I'll just go find Beth.”_

_“Why? What's going on?” He removed his crossbow from his back and set it inside his room, propped up against the wall.”_

_She tried to tell the story but stammered and blushed before spitting out, “The kids stole my bed.”_

_He snorted a laugh. “What?”_

_“Well, they weren't amused by Tyreese's stories, so I read to them, and they passed out in my bed. I tried to wake them up, but they're so exhausted from chores and playing in the snow. They're like little rocks, too. I don't even know all their parents to have them come and collect them.” She heaved a sigh. “You still have a bunk bed. You and Beth, actually, are the one two with the bunk beds, and I...am desperate not to sleep around five ten year old bodies if I can help it.”_

_He wanted to laugh, but he realized she was asking to sleep with him. His mouth ran dry, and he must have shown either panic or unease with the idea, because she quickly began to suggest staying with Beth. She would still be up, penning away in her notebook, though she had a lot of junk on her top bunk, but they could move it away._

_“Sorry.” She tried to cut by him, but he held his hand out, catching her arm carefully, and she halted instantly. She lifted her eyes up to his, and he nodded his head. “Are you sure?”_

_“It won't be the first time we shared the same sleepin' space.” He pulled the blanket back and showed her in. “Probably won't be the last.”_

_“At least I have the good blanket.” She tossed it onto the top bunk. “Is that okay? I like to be on top.”_

_“It's fine.” He didn't really care. “Mostly take the bottom anyway.”_

_“So, you're a bottom?” She ran her eyes over him, lips pursed. “I can see it.”_

_He tried not to blush. He really did. He even laughed with her, rubbing a hand down his jaw, and it felt nice to laugh, but still his cheeks stained red with her eyes on him. Jesus. She always went for it, didn't she? More amusing than Merle. Better timed, he'd give her that._

_She giggled once more. “Besides I think if you tried, you'd probably hit your head waking up.”_

_“Wouldn't doubt it.” He sat down on his bed and kicked his boots off, exhaling and leaning back onto the bed._

_“Tired?” She peered down at him, and he nodded. “You have that run tomorrow. It's just the three of you?”_

_“Yeah.” He closed his eyes. “Should probably get some sleep for it.”_

_She tapped her thumb against the supportive frame of the bunk and nodded. “Yeah, of course.” She drew air in and sat down beside him on his bed. She didn't have to look to see he'd tensed up, and she kept her hands in her lap. She had to say something. Or she'd regret never speaking at all, and she had plenty of regrets in her life. She didn't want to regret anything with him. Her relationship with him was too valuable, so better out than in._

_“What's the real reason you don't want me out there?” She looked over at him now, and his eyes were open and studying her. “And I know there's a reason. You taught me how to take care of myself. I've learned on the road, but you never.... You never come to me with any runs. Michonne's rarely here, but you still manage to find her and take her. Or Glenn. Or Maggie. You've even asked to try and take Beth. I heard you and Hershel in the hall.”_

_He pushed himself up to sit beside her, exhaling loudly, roughly, and he studied his crossbow leaning against the wall. Hi seyes briefly cut to her face then back, and his teeth sank into his bottom lip after mumbling, “It ain't what you think.”_

_“I think you think I'm not ready. That I can't protect myself. That all I have is basic skill and some half-decent luck.” She inhaled, somehow hoping the air would fill her with courage as well as oxygen. She wasn't so fortunate. “That I'm a liability to you...and whoever accompanies you on runs.”_

_He shook his head. “That isn't true. You ain't... I know you ain't a liability. It ain't you. I mean, it is you. Sorta.” He scratched a hand through his hair and frowned. “Kinda's you.”_

_“That's...very confusing.” She tilted her head to the side and searched his face for a true reaction. They were easier to gauge on him. She saw behind the hair and the guarded eyes well, but she really wanted his reaction. He seemed upset and confused himself about the subject, and she didn't sense any annoyance. He didn't view her as weak or likely to cause someone's death inadvertently. There was more to it, but he didn't show her to see it. Was it so awful? God, was she?_

_“It's...only you in a way that I don't want you out there,” he managed to word his thoughts and met her eyes. “We... We finally got a good place here. It's safe and sturdy. You don't need to be out there.”_

_“But you do? Glenn does? Michonne?”_

_“We're made to be out there.” He knew by her reaction that wasn't the right way to say that. “I—Hell, all I mean is...um—” Fuck. This was why he should have just let her stay with Beth. He didn't know how to say things. He didn't know how to not piss her off. He thought he was getting better, but evidently not._

_“All you mean is I should wash the clothes while you bring back goods and game?” She stood up. “Right.”_

_“Wrong.” He shot up and caught her arm, so she'd look at him, and he wasn't prepared for light tears there. He didn't realize how much this meant to her until this moment. They both had been so lost since this all happened, and now they were able to settle in to their surroundings and themselves. Carol had been so busy with helping with Hershel's leg and baby Judith and the Governor, and she never had full time to settle into herself. She had doubts. Doubts her mind couldn't overcome alone, and she was showing them to him for his reaction. He didn't know...he meant that much to her._

_When he didn't speak, Carol told him he was right about getting rest for the run and slipped into the top bunk with a good night. He stood there for a solid five minutes, and soon her breathing grew soft and even. He heaved a sigh and tried to figure out how to put into words how he felt. What he meant to say. He thought he'd done well, but she did not like meant to be out there part. Damn, how else could he say it?_

_He sank down onto his bed, stacking his hands on his chest, and he staring up at top bunk. He grumbled to himself, mostly cursing, and he rolled over to try and get some rest._

_In the morning Michonne woke him up, and Carol had already left, leaving a note of thanks and good luck on his nightstand. Michonne wanted to tease him, but he seemed miffed about something. He already looked like hell. She didn't want the attitude to reflect the mood anymore than it would. She offered a smile and guided him down for a quick bite to eat before they headed out. She noticed Carol and he didn't say much when she handed him his oatmeal and salted meat. Carol also excused herself and went to find Rick to see how Judith was doing this morning._

_Michonne moved the oatmeal around with her spoon, having dried apple slices over the meat, and she couldn't resist any longer. She set the spoon down and ran her tongue over top teeth. “How did you manage to piss off the nicest lady here?”_

_Daryl shoved in more of his breakfast and groused a reply lost over the chewing and the clattering of his spoon against the ceramic bowl. Michonne chuckled and finished her breakfast off, and they handed the bowls over to Maggie to be clean. She wished them luck, and they met up with Glenn by the door. Rick was finishing up a look over their ride and supplies to gather, and he handed the list to Daryl. Michonne said a few words to him in private, earning a chuckle, and Glenn tossed a smirk at Daryl, who was obvious, still gnawing on his issue with Carol._

_“Daryl, you all right?” Glenn called, trying pull his friend out of his head and back to them, but sadly his words weren't enough. He waved, too, but nothing._

_“Hey, keep it clean.”_

_Daryl's head snapped up at the sound of Carol's voice, a group of kids ran out, already throwing snowballs on the way to do their chores, and Carol shook her head at them, all bundled up and holding onto the hand of Mika Samuels. He tried to think of something nice to say, but she spoke first and last._

_“Have a safe trip,” she said to the group, ushering the kids forward. “We'll get outta your way.”_

_Glenn smirked at the sight of the children. “Take care of yourself, too. I've seen them play dirty.”_

_“I know their tricks.” She grinned at him and fell out of earshot._

_Michonne could have sworn Daryl's soul left his body momentarily, even Glenn noticed Carol didn't directly speak to her best friend, and Daryl grumbled for them to get in the car. Glenn and Michonne exchanged a dreading look before following Daryl into the four-door prison. They would see how the going went, and if it was a nightmare, Daryl would walk back to the prison._

_– – –_

_The run went smoothly, if not dragging on the car ride there, and Glenn managed to pull Daryl out of his thoughts. They were able to swipe batteries and a few heaters, Michonne practically took the entire stock of seeds, and Glenn went back for the flowers. Michonne tried not to smile at the cute action of picking out flowers to brighten up the prison yard for the kids, and Glenn tried to play it cool, but he wanted the bring some color to the yard. He'd already gotten some chalk for the kids. Michonne approved, and Daryl smiled a little at him, scratching another item off the list given to him._

_The mood lightened, they faced a few walkers, but there were no close calls. They loaded up the car, Daryl secured a few items to the roof with Michonne's aid, and they rolled out. Glenn looked over the package of flowers and when the best time to plant them was. Michonne stretched out in the backseat, looking out the window and thinking some things over for her next trip out. Daryl had flicked on the radio, but it was mostly static. He had a couple CDs and let one play. It was better than silence, and he couldn't stand to be alone with his thoughts right now._

_And back at the prison, Carol felt the same way. She busied herself with chores and the children. She personally made it a mission to meet the parents of the little stinkers who stole her bed from her, and they thanked her for giving them a night off. It was a joke, but from the look of it, someone got lucky, and it wasn't Carol. Although it was nice to see parents being parents...even if it hurt somewhat._

_“They're back.”_

_Carol watched Beth and Maggie rush by, Carol excused herself to hurry after them, worried something might have happened, and she caught them as they greeted Glenn. She exhaled in relief at the three of them all right and intact, though Glenn was bum rushed by his wife and sister-in-law. Carol chuckled at the sight, rubbing her arms as she hadn't grabbed another coat, and she noticed they had a lot of crap stuffed into that truck. She stepped out to help, and Tyreese and Sasha fell into step beside her._

_“How can we help?” Ty asked Daryl and Michonne._

_“I have a couple ideas.” Michonne handed a crate full of canned goods to Sasha. “Here. Get Carl for me.”_

_“No need.” Carl jogged over with a grin, Rick behind him with Judith all wrapped up and completely enthralled by the white world before her. “I even brought an audience since Judy can't help.”_

_“Well, I do my best work in front of a crowd.” She smirked at him and tipped his head. “We scored her a bed. Help me get it down without breaking anything.”_

_“You got it.” He moved to the side of the car._

_“Ty, watch for anything that falls.”_

_“All right.” He chuckled and stepped beside Carl, giving Carol a shrug._

_She smiled and looked over what they'd found, seeing a good stock of batteries and broths and seeds out the ass, but it would be great for the spring. They would have their own crops to rely on, and with Hershel's help, it'd be plentiful. She did know a thing or two about tomato plants, but she'd leave it to Hershel. She had her own duties._

_“Let me.” Daryl grabbed the crate full of cans and topped with a couple water jugs. “You wanna get the seeds?”_

_“Gee, you think I can handle that?” It wasn't her normal humorous tone, and he felt it bite out his throat. She heaved a sigh and collected the bag of seeds, grabbing a jug of water and the crate full of batteries. She trotted inside with a huff, moving through kids and people to the stock room where Rick and Judy now where, ready to look over everything and see who requested what._

_“Hey.” Rick offered a smile while Judy chewed on the stuffed animal Glenn had gotten for her in her playpen._

_“Hey.” She smiled down at Judy and set the items down. “Need any help?”_

_“Yeah, actually, that'd be great.” He handed over the list of requested items. “I don't know all of these people.”_

_She chuckled and accepted it. “I do. I'll handle it.”_

_“Thank you.” He smiled to himself. “You'd think with all this time on my hands, I'd get to know them better.”_

_“It takes time.” She reached out and set a hand on his arm compassionately. “You'll get there.”_

_He nodded. “I hope so, because I have a Ms. Richards bugging me about...crystals. She wants to...cleanse the prison's aura?”_

_She tried not to laugh. “That's a good thing to shoot for.” She dropped her hand._

_“Yeah, it is.”_

_Soon the room filled with people dropping items off, Carol sat beside the pen to play with Judith while items were being placed on the tables, and Daryl lingered with his few drop offs. Rick wondered if he had something to say to him, but his eyes were on Carol. He didn't know if it had to do with the damaged heater or if there was something more going on that he didn't know about, but he would ask later. He didn't want to come in between them. Not when he might be a witness to a murder if the anxiety pouring off Daryl was any hit as to the real problem._

_Carol noticed the wet floor and would have to mop it up before making any trips through it. Someone was going to get hurt if they weren't careful. She moved from the pen to stand by Rick and looked over everything, and he seemed calm about it. Almost a peace with this simple but necessary task. She was glad to see less storm, and she looked over the checked off list, seeing a few things they couldn't find. She'd hate to break it to Mika they had no Etch-A-Sketch, but maybe they make something similar....to a cheap, generic knock off to it._

_“Last one.” Daryl minded his footing and placed down a trash bag full of clothes. “Goes in the back, right?”_

_“I'll take it.” Rick accepted it. “I'll do it last.”_

_Daryl watched him disappear and turned to Carol. “Can we talk?”_

_“I'm a little busy, but I have time until Rick gets back.” She crossed her arms met his eyes. “How was the run? Come across anybody? Living, I mean.”_

_“No, just a couple dead.” He shuffled his feet. “I didn't mean to insult you. I never would mean to.”_

_“My day wasn't so bad either. I helped the kids with their chores,” she informed him. “I helped Beth with the laundry, and we might have a busted pipe, but I'll look at it with Hershel tomorrow. The tombs aren't exactly all that great right now—”_

_“I'm tryin' talk to you,” he softly interrupted. “I'm glad you had a good day, but....I feel bad.”_

_“I'm sorry. I'll be quiet so you can talk and feel better about yourself.”_

_“That ain't what I meant.”_

_“I'm glad you're home safe, but I don't want to do this right now. You had time to think it over, but so did I.” She searched his eyes. “I'm not less than Michonne or Rick or Glenn—or you, for that matter. I'm not.”_

_“Of course you're not.” He swallowed and dropped his eyes to the floor. “I'd never want you feel that way. The runs don't mean anythin' toward that....”_

_She could hardly understand him, and she hugged herself tighter. “I... It isn't your fault I'm in a bad mood. I'm sorry. I... I've had a lot to consider since the quarry and... and the farm. It hasn't all been easy, but people died for me to be here. I'm going to stay here and do all I can to help our family, no matter how large it gets. But for me to do that...to do all I can to ensure we thrive...I need to be out there, too. We don't know who else is out there, and people are so much worse than the dead. I can't go through another war, and if I have to, I want to end it with as little loss as possible. No matter what.”_

_He leaned against the table behind him and swallowed. “We got a problem then.”_

_“Do we?” She arched a brow. “What is it?”_

_“I... I want you out there, too, and I know you've practiced since the farm. You held your own against that one-eyed ass, but it ain't always like that. What we see and do out there...the people who we'll meet that ain't like Ty and Sasha.... I don't want 'em near you. It's... it's me. It's not you.”_

_“Daryl, that—”_

_“You're the most like family to me outta everybody here,” he confessed. “You stuck by me, helped me through my brother's death, and you didn't want anything but the best for me. I...needed that, more than I thought or could ever admit, and I lost Merle to out there. I lost Andrea. Dale. Almost lost Carl, too, and... and Sophia.” At the mention of her little girl, her eyes darkened, the light blue became like a cloudy sky, and he continued. “But...we lost Lori and T here. Inside our home, our walls, and...I know now it doesn't matter where or when, just...you.”_

_She wasn't sure what he was getting at. “I'm...a little lost.”_

_“I want you to come with me next week on a hunt for game. I got a silencer for your gun, and I picked you up a new knife.” He met her eyes. “You and me. We'll see how much you remember.”_

_She smiled slowly. “I don't need your approval.”_

_“You got it, though.” He smiled softly at her, reaching into his boot and pulling the sheathed tanto brass knuckle knife out. “Here.”_

_She accepted it, pulling it carefully from its sheath and marveling at it. “Thank you.”_

_“Well, happy Christmas or whatever.” He squirmed and picked at his thumbnail. “I'll come and get you on the day of. Pack a bag. It might be a couple days.”_

_“Okay.” She gripped the sheath and smiled at him. “You're getting better.”_

_“At what?” He lifted his head._

_She stepped closer. “Well, let's just say while we're out there in the cold, I might need—”_

_“Hey, Daryl,” Rick called as he returned to the room, “did you ever find Coleman a...erm, stuffed pig? Like the toy.”_

_Carol moved back and pointed to the door. “I have story time with the kids, actually, so I can't stay to help, but Daryl, that's an important question. Stick around and answer it.” She strolled out of the room. “Try and mop the floor, too, please.”_

_Daryl nodded and wondered what she was going to say, but Rick instantly pulled him into a conversation. He wasn't interested in Coleman and his weird habits, but he humored it for Rick's sake. That, and he just spotted Judith was in the room. He slid off he table and went to her pen, picking her up and nodding to Rick's story. Judith couldn't look anymore disinterested, and Daryl respected that._

_– – –_

_Carol had woken up that morning two weeks later to a plate of semi-warmed beans, a thicker coat and Daryl collecting her bag for the truck. The sun had not risen, and it was freezing, but Daryl packed some blankets for the truck, and the chains on the tires would greatly assist them in getting through the winter wonderland Georgia had become. That, and the batch of tea Beth fashioned for them. Carol couldn't help but embrace the girl for her efforts, and Beth squeezed her tightly in return, shooting Daryl a warning glare over her shoulder to have Carol's back at all costs._

_Beth moved to embrace him next, but Daryl shifted away, so she made it a sisterly punch in the shoulder and then practically ran back inside for warmth and Maggie since Glenn and Zach had the tower that morning. Partly why she'd been up. Zach was the real person the tea was made for, but Carol was a lovely afterthought._

_They piled into the truck, Daryl smirked at her all melted into her blankets, and he pulled out, seeing Carl up for the early shift, and Sasha was with him. They waved and drove out of the gates with a backward glance through the rear view mirror. They kept the silence and the heat running, Carol couldn't see much beyond the headlights, but Daryl had scouted out the area the day before. He wrangled up a few deer and bunnies out here, and he hoped it offered a lot more for their numbers now. They needed it._

_He drove for about five hours, the sun had risen and found its place high in the sky, Carol had finished about half of the tea, and he reminded her there were no toilets in the woods with a smirk. She returned his smirk and told him to keep driving. He did as he was told and pulled into their destination, hiding the truck in snow crippled branches, and Carol checked her clip and her knife. He assured her there were mostly scouting today. There were a few buildings a couple miles up the road. He'd mostly picked them clean, but they might not be able to withstand the cold. They could hole up there, start a safe fire and wait the night out. It depended._

_“It's so beautiful,” Carol absentmindedly commented about the white-covered trees and ground. It almost felt like they were just taking a walk, and it wasn't all over for humanity's rise. She could hear growls in the distant and grounded herself, but the thought didn't fade as easily._

_“Yeah, it's nice.” He spotted some tracks in the snow and bent down to investigate. “Look, it's a family.”_

_“A family?” She knelt down to see what he saw._

_“Yeah, a male buck lead through here, and that's the mama and the doe.”_

_“They must be looking for shelter.” She swallowed with difficulty. “Should we go after them?”_

_“Nah, by the impressions they left, they ain't much.” He stood up. “C'mon, we should get the packs and see what else there is.”_

_They saddled up and headed out, locking up the truck and leaving behind the warmth and tea. They moved opposite of the family of deer Carol noted, and Daryl didn't mention anything about it, just guided them forward. It was a tranquil walk, and the cold became less and less of a concern as the walk warmed their blood. That didn't mean the nips at their cheeks didn't grow to hurt less, but they could tolerate it._

_They marched on, and Daryl pointed a couple of markers off for her. They were to guide Carol back to the truck should they get separated, and Carol knew all the ways that could happen. She memorized them all and asked aloud where they would meet up if they both didn't arrive at the truck at the same time. Daryl was hestitant, because he hadn't actually thought of it. The last time he brought someone out there, it wasn't snowy, and only he made it back to the truth. He tried to help, to save the man he'd met, but there was nothing he could do._

_“Guess we could meet at the trial a couple miles back. The one with the yellow sign,” he commented. “I know the way to walk.”_

_“And if I don't make it back to the truck? If I have to walk?”_

_“It's a straight shot.” He made a forward line motion with his hand. “But that won't happen.”_

_“You can't promise it won't. People... People get lost in the woods all the time.”_

_His throat tightened at her words and the memory of her in the RV back in the summer on the farm. Fuck, that wasn't a good sense of deja vu. “But you... you ain't just people. You're good at survivin'. You're resourceful. You'll never be “just” anythin'.”_

_She smiled to herself. “If I made to the truck first, I'd wait for you.”_

_“Don't. I'll be fine.” He shook his head. “Save yourself.”_

_“Would you?” she challenged those words, and he stammered. “Then how can you ever ask me to abandon you?”_

_“I—I just...want you to know that you might have to make that decision someday.” He stepped forward and minded the slippery patch. “We all have to make that choice, and it never gets any easier.”_

_They found a couple squirrel for dinner, Daryl guided her to the old gas station and ice creamery a couple miles from the truck, and they set up shop for the night. Daryl was surprised Carol had brought a backpack stove. She reminded him of her own items on the list, and he didn't recall reading about it. It was on Michonne's, and it was also for emergencies, but she figured it would come in handy out here. She was glad she thought of it, and so was Daryl._

_They sat side by side against the back wall, the small fire Daryl made to keep them warm remained only embers, and Carol was drifting off. He let her, feeling her head land on his shoulder, and he waited until she was out cold before moving her to the sleeping bag. He then rose and moved to the window to begin first watch._

_It was a quick shift, soon he roused Carol to take over, and just like that they were back outside, searching the area for prey. Daryl briefly spoke on tracking animals in the snow and wet, how it was easier, but almost provided a challenge. The snow crunched underfoot, and it would send a deer or bunny darting away. Following was a cake walk, but the killing became a mess. He tried to make it painless, but that survival instinct was strong. He did the best he could for their final moments, made sure nothing went to waste. A being still died, but it was to ensure many more beings survived. It had to balance out. Somewhere along the line._

_They had yet to encounter any walkers, though the duo kept an ear listening and both eyes looking for any signs of the undead. They scrounged up some dinner, Daryl spotted a trial off to the left he'd have to come back to, and Carol wondered when the real hunting would begin. She only had a couple rabbits on a string, but nothing big. He didn't seem interested, and she hoped he wasn't trying to spare her from seeing a dead animal. She'd seen plenty of death, and at least this death benefited something in the best way._

_“So, this is all you do out here?” Carol commented, puffs of white chasing her words. “Hunt stuff and be alone?”_

_“Yeah, it's nice to get away and...be alone.” He stopped walking. “Well, alone...together now.”_

_“Hmm. It's still nice?” She closed the space between them, peering at him. “Being alone together?”_

_“Yeah,” he confirmed._

_“How about now?” She smacked him in the face with a snowball, and he just blinked, snow sticking in his beard and melting slowly against his cheek._

_“You didn't just do that.” His eyes flickered to hers, and she laughed. “You did not just do that.”_

_“I think I do. And you know what?” She tossed another and jumped back. “I did it again.”_

_“Oh, you're done for.” He scooped up snow and hurled it at her._

_“Too slow.” She ducked the sloppily made ball and grabbed another handful, moving behind a tree and hearing a snowball smack against it. “Oh-ho, nice one, I'll admit. I respect that.”_

_“That ain't all.” He chuckled another, catching her knee before taking cover. “Ha!”_

_“Lucky hit.” She crouched down and waited for him to poke his head out, and the moment she did, she hit him with at least five snowballs. The first one almost missed, but he moved in a bad way and was smacked in the gut. The second caught him off guard, and the others were just to accept as shame. She smirked. “You done yet?”_

_“Not yet.” He ran for her._

_“Whoa, whoa.” She was surprised by the attack method and bolted, but it didn't save her. She felt the massive snow mass smack her in the back. She landed face first in the snow, but it was icy, so she slid and rolled._

_“Oh, shit!” Daryl hurried to catch up to her. “Carol!”_

_Carol came to a halt at the bottom of a steep slope, the her cheek bleeding from the frozen twigs that cut at her, and she laughed softly to herself. She would definitely call that a loss. Ugh. She felt the cold melting through her shirt and pants, and she shivered, spotting her knife a good five feet away with the rope of rabbits. She made to stand, but her leg was caught on something._

_Daryl minded how he came down the hill and saw Carol was struggling to stand. He almost laughed until he saw the walker underneath her. It was dead white like the snow, frozen into the earth, and Carol's leg had broken through it's rib cage. If she moved in the wrong way, she'd be scratched. If he didn't haul ass, she'd been bitten. Fuck, no, please!_

_“Carol!” He ran and tried his best to pivot his weight to avoid falling on his face. He found even ground at least and grabbed his crossbow, seeing Carol's cheek was bleeding, and it looked like a scratch. His heart stopped, but he slammed the butt of his crossbow into the walker's head. It shattered almost like glass, and the arms released Carol. He dropped the crossbow and grasped her cheeks. “Fuck, fuck.”_

_“It's fine.” She shook her head. “It's from the fall, but my leg... Daryl, my leg. I can't move it.”_

_“Hang on.” He moved around and saw there were only two bones actually capable of cutting through her pants and piercing her skin. He patted himself down and found his knife, his brain unable to recall or collect its thoughts at the fear barking orders for speed and heedfulness. If he messed up, Carol would have to lose her leg. That'd be on him. This would all be on him if he wasn't careful, and even if he was, it was still him._

_He knew better. He came out here to work, and no play was a part of that. It only caused harm, and now they were going to pay for their laughter, for their fun. Goddamn it. He shouldn't have gotten involved. He should have told her that was good one and moved on. He knew better, and now he had hurt her. More than once, and it might cost her a part of herself. He'd already fucked up and lost a piece of her once, and he'd done it again. He would always do this to her, wouldn't he? Hurt her, let her down, break something valuable...._

_Carol kept all her weight on her other knee and set her hand over his, his eyes moving to hers, and she smiled. “Don't. Just help me. Please.”_

_He swallowed and turned, gliding it into the space between the bone and her pant leg. He then used his gloved palm to push down on the bone, but it was firm. He added more pressure, but Carol told him to stop. He'd hurt himself, or worse, and he wasn't sure how to do this. If he had pliers, he could chop the sucker off. Or if he had something to yank the bone up, but he still might injure himself with that. He didn't know what to do. He had nothing on his that could help, not even in removing her leg._

_“There's a toolkit,” Carol reminded him. “In the ice creamery, there's a toolkit. Grab it and bring it back.”_

_He shook his head. “It'll take too long. You got nothin' to protect yourself with.” He checked on the piece of bone on the other side and saw it poking into her jeans. “Goddamn it.”_

_“I can balance my weight and use your bow, just...hurry.”_

_He searched her eyes, chewing on his bottom lip, and he nodded, handing it carefully to her. He'd shown her before how to aim and load it. He hoped she didn't have to use it. It could take a bit of force to pull the trigger sometimes, and it could knock her back into the bones. He hoped now, and he would make sure it didn't. He just had to run._

_“I'll be right back.” He stood up, looking her over before whirling around and bolting towards town. They were only a couple minutes away from their camp, and he knew the shop wasn't locked. Carol had checked into it this morning, clearly to know about the toolkit, so all he had to do was get to it._

_Carol watched Daryl leave and smiled somberly to herself, carefully maneuvering her body and exhaling slowly._

_Daryl had to make it back to that damned shop in record time, his lungs aflame, his throat bone dry, but he tore through it. He searched with a fine tooth comb, seeing only molded product behind dirty glass, money and the basic tools to work here. His heart began to pound as though he were on a timer, and he felt cold sweat running down his back, and he wasn't breathing heavily from the search anymore. It was pure apprehension in not finding the damned toolkit. Where the hell was it? Carol said it was here. It had to be here._

_He checked the back and saw only a rest area for the staff and a desk. He knew the freezer likely wouldn't have anything he needed, but he'd still check. Though as his hand touched the pull door handle, he realized what had happened, and his heart stopped in its track. He cursed and dropped the handle, scrambling back to the front of the store and out the front door. You'd better be alive, he growled inwardly as he picked up the speed._

_As Daryl followed their tracks, he found Carol standing against a tree with his bow's straps in her fingers and her knife back on her belt. Her clothes were dark from melted snow, her cheek had stopped bleeding, and she was oozing relief. His eyes burned, and she looked at him apologetically._

_“It couldn't be you,” she tried to explain as he drew closer. “If something happened, if the bone went through, it had to be me. It couldn't be—”_

_She was cut off by his arms wrapping around her, his hand cradling the back of her head, and she smiled with shaky bliss. He called her stupid, but his words were heavy with worry and relief, and she knew he didn't it. She leaned into his arms and allowed him to help her back to their camp, collecting the rabbits on the way. They remained close the entire walk back, Daryl immediately kicked on the burner for cooking to use for its heat, and he dropped their equipment down onto the counter to help her out of her coat._

_“You're all right?” He was tempted to just cut through all the material to see if there any marks._

_“I think so.” She let the heavy coat fall to the floor, removing the jacket underneath, and Daryl grasped her the moment she was free of the jacket, rolling her sleeve up to check for any bites. She almost rolled her eyes and assured him she could handle it, but she lost the ability to speak at his fingertips gently gliding over her skin, and his eyes burned intensely as they studied her skin._

_He asked her to remove that layer, too. Mostly because it was wet—her entire outfit was wet—but he had to be sure there was nothing. He wanted her strip down to a tank top and checked her back and shoulders, seeing some bruises from the fall, but nothing from the walker. He bent down and helped her out of her boots, and she nearly tripped, but he caught her by her thigh. He steadied her and carefully rolled up her pant leg to see if anything punctured the skin there._

_Carol had no idea if he had any idea how...intimate his actions were, causing her heart to race nervously, and her blood jumped and flooded to her face. She hadn't been touched anywhere by anybody in a long time, and she knew it was a serious search, but she never knew his fingers could be so delicate and tender. When he massaged her back on the bus, he'd been mostly rough to work out the knot, but now... Now she had to repress a soft moan at his feel of his skin brushing over her ankle. She never was one for anything to do with ankles, but damn._

_Daryl didn't see any marks or bits, and he rose to check for a fever. He wanted to be more than sure. He wanted no shadows. He had to be sure she was all right. There was no part of him okay with her being wounded by a walker. He couldn't process anything until his brain deemed her safe. Right now everything inside of him was shaking and thrown into chaos. He didn't know how to handle this situation if there was a fever, and he'd missed some mark or another. He just had to trust she knew what she was doing. He trusted her, so he had to trust her actions, even if it made him ache to know she went through that alone. Christ...._

_There was no fever, though she was a bit flushed, and he felt...flooded—no, overwhelmed by solace and joy. She was all right and in front of him, and he didn't know what to do with himself. He hugged her again, and she laughed by his ear. He couldn't help but chuckle himself, feeling her laughter seeping into his shoulder. He never realized she was so much smaller than him, but she felt warm and firm in his arms. He felt safe there, thrilled even knowing she was okay, and he slowly pulled back to look at her._

_Big, sapphire eyes searched his with now hushed laughter, the dim lantern light reflecting in her eyes, and suddenly his heart beat calmed. He searched her eyes and felt pulled into her, his eyes moving over her face. He never noticed the faint freckles along her nose and the line of her cheekbones, almost hidden by her natural skin tone. He had seen them in the summer, even heard Beth compliment her over them, and he brushed his thumb carefully over them._

_His thumb curved over her cheek down to her jaw as though it had a mind of its own, and suddenly he was lifting her up to him by her jaw. Her hand grasped his on her chin just as their lips met. It was a clumsy meeting, but beneath the awkwardness and the bumping of teeth was a sudden and ravenous desire. It seemed to crackle and explode as she moved closer, her fingers now in his hair, and he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her right up against him._

_Carol broke their kiss momentarily, he bumped his nose against hers, and she smiled, leaning up and meeting his mouth again. This time his lips moved with hers, and she cupped his cheeks, the cold of winter fleeing them as their lips parted. Carol moaned softly into his mouth, he groaned at the sound, and her tongue stroked his. He had never been good with kissing, but he was good at mimicking, and he did as she did. His skin came alive at the moan his tongue elicited, the blood in his body turning to fuel and sparking. He loosened his arms on her waist and grasped her hips, and he broke the kiss for air._

_They were so close together, chests heaving in time, once chapped lips reddened and glistening. Carol's hands slid down to his coat, her eyes on his with such desire and need, and he found himself moving backwards. He almost tripped, but he caught himself and found them just over the pile of sleeping bags. They lowered themselves down onto them, Carol had lowered herself onto his lap, and everything in his body shut down as his cock woke up._

_Her lips were on his again, though both of her hands had moved to his on her back, guiding them down, and he shivered at the feel of her ass being placed into his hands. He never thought of himself as an ass man, but goddamn. Chasing those kids and doing whatever chore she'd done had sculpted her ass to fit perfectly in his hands. He squeezed, she yelped but it didn't sound like it was disapproving, and she smirked against his lips. He'd take that as she liked it and carefully kneaded her cheeks._

_She began to shift on his lap as he did so, and he stopped breathing when she began to rock against him. He could feel her warmth through his jeans, and his breathing returned to him, harsh and nearly suffocating him. She kissed him tenderly, rocking even more now, and his eyes squeezed shut. Between her perfect kisses and her rubbing, he had lost sight of everything else, and he tried not to do that. He wanted to focus on her, on the soft moans escaping from her lips from her own pleasure, on her mouth against his, her hands on his neck, but he couldn't. Blood rushed in his ear, and he couldn't breath. Hell, he wasn't sure he wanted to._

_“Christ!” He hissed through his teeth as her hand came between them, gripping his hard, pulsing cock over his jeans. He didn't even hear the zipper or feel his boxer being moved aside, but her strong, warm fingers wrapped around him. He grasped and was thrown over the edge by her fingers stroking him._

_Carol had never known him to be so loud, but he shouted out her name, his eyes squeezed shut, and his forehead came to rest against hers. His hot breath hit her neck as he pulled her closer, and she smiled softly at the tenderness of the action. He blindly kissed at her jaw and her cheek, and she giggled, finding his lips somewhere among the sloppy kisses._

_However as Daryl came down from the heavens, he began to realize what just happened, and all the warmth and want began to freeze over. Gradually, like a window left open in this winter...ice began to wash over them and take any warmth with it. He let go of Carol, and she let him. They exchanged a look now in the quiet of their camp, and Carol gasped, climbing to her feet and fleeing to the back room. Daryl sat there still and heard the door shut softly, and he buried his face in his hands, cursing. Slowly, he cussed louder and louder and punched the ground. It helped nothing, but nothing would. Nothing would undo what just happened, and while it wasn't sex, it still...wasn't friendship. It wasn't...anything either one of them had planned, and it wasn't a small error to correct._

_Daryl smacked himself in the head and groaned, climbing to his feet to change out of his pants. He glanced at the close door and quickly changed, cleaning himself off. He cursed again and tried to think of what to say to her should she come out. He had no words. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He was just looking...for bites. He wasn't looking for...a handjob in a grimey gas station. Fuck's sake._

_He buried his face in his hands and groaned, crouched down still in the aisle and shook his head. “Fuck it.” He grabbed a notepad and scratched out a note, grabbing his crossbow and leaving. He would get the meat for the winter, and they'd just leave in the morning. Maybe he'd know what to say or how to handle it by the time he got back._

_Inside the office Carol was curled up on the floor, trying not to cry, trying not to panic. It wasn't effective, but she was giving it her damnedest. She had to try, after all. She just rubbed her best friend off, and that wasn't at all the plan for this trip. She hadn't meant for that kiss to continue, but it was nice. To be kissed, to be wanted, and it felt good to feel his want poking against her. She had desires, but she didn't meant for Daryl to come into them._

_But he did. He not only walked in and kicked out all the crap she'd had there, but he literally came and said her name and held her. Whether he felt that way about her or not, he still was Daryl, and Daryl was a man with needs too. Sometimes she forgot he might want to be touched, too. He kept away from everyone for so long, and now he...he never showed any interested. For him to be so responsive and into it, he clearly had his own alone time in the showers._

_She exhaled and dropped her hands. This was no time for that or for crying like some teenager. They were adults. They could handle this like adults. She'd go out there and talk to him. It'd be humiliating and worse than getting a tooth pulled, but she wouldn't let this ruin them. They'd come so far as people and as friends. This wouldn't destroy them. She wouldn't let it. She was better than that, and so was he. End of story. It was going to be resolve, and they'd get their meat for the winter, and it'd be fine._

_She pulled herself together and marched out of the office. “Daryl, look, I.... Daryl?” She ran her eyes over the room and saw he was nowhere. She frowned and saw his crossbow was gone. She saw a note in his place and wanted to chase him down, but she had no dry clothes on right now. By the time she changed, he'd been long gone. He might even have set a false trail. Clearly, he needed some time, and she'd let him have it. She had to change, and she needed time, too. She wanted to clear the air, but she didn't know how. Maybe she'd know how by the time he came back._

_– – –_

_They were both wrong about themselves and the other. Daryl returned with a truck full of game, insisting they just head home now, something about a storm bound to come in, and Carol could only nod in agreement. They rode home in silence, Daryl was concentrating so much on driving he didn't hear Carol's request to stop for a bathroom break, and when her hand landed on his shoulder, he nearly jumped out of his skin. That, and his dick was ready for more, but anxiety won out thankfully._

_“I have to use the bathroom. Could we stop?”_

_“Yeah, sure.” He pulled over and looked through the frozen windshield. “You got a place in mind?”_

_“I think I can handle the cold of nature.” She opened the truck door and stepped out. She was surviving the cold of the car pretty damn well._

_“Stay close,” he called after her._

_She exhaled deeply and walked a good forty feet from the truck, finding an area for privacy almost impossible with all leaves gone from bushes, and she knew Daryl would keep looking now and then. He was no pervert, but he wanted to be an extra set of eyes on the scene. She would ave to be sure all he saw was nature, because it was already living in hell from what happened last night. She wouldn't add this to tension overloading the cabin of the truck. She refused._

_She squinted down, her bottoms bunched up at her ankles, and she exhaled, shivering at the exposure. She looked around as she relieved herself, but all her could think of was how they were never going to come back from this. He avoided the subject, and she hadn't even tried to bring it up. It felt like it did back on the farm, and he might as well have just finished barking at Carl to not touch his crossbow. It wasn't that bad, but their relationship was crumbling quickly. She couldn't stop it, and he wouldn't let her try. That hurt the most._

_Knowing that despite what they'd built, how much they'd grown together and how much they relied on each other, he would let this come between them. They both were willing in that moment, and they both didn't stop. It felt nice to be touched, and to be touched by him made it even better. He had to feel the same. He was so careful with her, and he wanted her just as much she'd wanted him. It made no sense why they couldn't talk about it. They were adults. What happened wasn't a crime or a sin. It just happened, and so what if it never happened again? So what if it was just a fluke from a near-death experience? It wasn't worth ending everything. Nothing was worth that._

_She muttered to herself on the way back to the truck, Daryl looked over briefly then headed back towards the prison. It was a miserable drive, Carol tried to sleep through it, but she was worried they'd run into trouble. She didn't want to be asleep in case that happened. That, and Daryl looked four days exhausted. She made him pull over and switch places with him. He didn't argue, and she drove them the rest of the way home. She was so glad to see those gates, Beth and Carl yanked them open and showed them group inside, and Daryl went to retrieve some help with the game. Carol greeted Beth with a hug, Carl looked over what they'd found, and Beth guided Carol inside._

_“How was the trip?” She held onto her arm, minding how her boots skidded on the floor. They should invest in doormats. Or rugs. There had to be plenty of those. Who reached for rugs at the end of the world? “Did you have a nice time? I mean, outside the gate and with Daryl.”_

_“It was just a hunting trip. Not much happened.” She pulled her arm free. “I'm going to take a shower, try and fit myself into a schedule, but we can talk later.”_

_“Oh.” Her face fell, but she nodded. “All right. Um, there's clean towels on your bed. I left them there for you.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_– – –_

_Only it wasn't a fix a shoulder could help with. Carol and Daryl didn't see much of each other over the course of three weeks. Daryl went out on runs, met the people around the prison and helped them with little problems. Carol had begun to teach the kids how to use weapons since she didn't want them to end up in the same situation as she'd found herself, and she used story time to cover. It worked well to fill the hours and benefited their people. Everyone was happy and felt safe and able. It made them both feel less crappy about their deteriorating relationship._

_Daryl had tried to find Carol and talk to her about it. He needed to be a man about this situation, but it was difficult. He'd seen her in the courtyard with Glenn or Maggie, and he'd remember how it felt to kiss her. He'd taste her lips on his, and he could almost feel her body pressed around up against him. He had so many dreams about being with her since that day, and they worsened as he spent more and more time away from her. He'd have to sneak his clothes in to wash them himself, because every night was a wet dream, and it was horrible. He felt so guilty, like he was using her for his own needs, but he couldn't stop the dreams. He'd tried everything he could think of—reading horror books before bad, listening to war stories before bed, eating some weird food for nightmares or odd dreams—but it all came back to Carol on his lap, kissing him and rolling her hips over him._

_Carol kept her distance from Daryl without any real effort. He avoided her for one, and for two, she was swarmed by kids and people at all times. She enjoyed it, though. She loved teaching them about defense and basic first aid and hearing their own take on it. She couldn't help but be so proud of them. She had to feel pride somewhere, because she was ashamed of herself. She'd always had to please herself. God knew Ed never did, and he never wanted it, and there wasn't anyone else. She knew what she liked, and every now and then, she'd take advantage of the vacant places. Until recently, she just focused on the pleasure and didn't think of much, but lately she'd thought of that morning in the station with Daryl. How he kissed her, how he held her, how he felt against her hip and in her hand. She couldn't think of anyone else. She'd tried, but her mind brought back him calling out her name, his mouth and his hands, and she'd hurtle over the edge harder than any other time. She hated to use him like that, especially since she hardly saw or spoke to the man._

_It was nearing the end of the winter, heading towards that false spring period, and Carol couldn't do it anymore. The kids were outside doing chores, Michonne was out hunting for Phillip, and everyone else had hobbies or watch or some other duty. She felt her body aching at the silence as she sat on her bed, reading, and she ignored it. She'd spent so much time in that damned A block, she had a preferred cell. She'd even left a couple dirty books under the pillow. Daryl had done many things to her according to those books, and her body wanted the release. Needed it, and she couldn't focus on the words before her._

_She groaned and closed it, standing up and going down the hall, stopping just outside his bedroom. She knew he was inside. Glenn and Sasha were leading a run today, and he was stuck here with the rest of them. She needed to clear the air. She couldn't do this anymore. She was consumed by guilt and annoyance, and she couldn't do it._

_“Daryl?” She laced her fingers together over her stomach. “I need to talk to you. I know you're in there. Please let me in.”_

_There was shuffling inside, something fell over, and he cursed. About five minutes later, he opened the curtain and let her inside, his eyes cast down to the floor. She sighed and sat down on the bench just inside, not on his bed, and he sat opposite her. A heavy silence settled over them, and Carol inhaled deeply to begin._

_“I'm sorry,” Daryl blurted before Carol could say anything. “It was...my fault. I shouldn't have gotten so close. I'm sorry.”_

_“Sorry?” She sputtered out air through a scoff. “Daryl, no.”_

_He nodded his head. “I...pushed. I didn't want.... No. I didn't think I wanted that to happen, and I'm sorry I did it to you.”_

_“Did it to me?” She almost laughed. “We were both there, and I kissed you back. I... Hell, I made it into more.”_

_He lifted his eyes. “I'm still sorry. I.... I let it get in between us. I should've handled it better.”_

_“Yeah, we both should have, but it's okay.” She searched his eyes. “We're adults, Daryl. We...naturally seek certain pleasures, and it's okay. I... honestly enjoyed it. It felt good. You...felt good.”_

_His cheeks burned, and he stammered. He thought Carol would bust in here and cuss him out for using her and just ignoring her all this time. He didn't see this happening. She liked it? Well, he thought maybe, because of her reactions, but he wasn't sure. His brain had betrayed him so much, and he couldn't trust his memory. That, and his mind immediately wandered when he thought of that morning._

_“I... I never thought of you like that,” Carol admitted. “I know I joke, but...there were mostly jokes I mean, you're like a kid, and you're my friend. I couldn't imagine us...being in that kind of relationship. I didn't think anyone could want me for a long time after the quarry...but you kissed me and touched me and...wanted me. I... can't get that out of my head.”_

_He chewed on his bottom lip and didn't speak, his hands between his legs, soaked in sweat. His heart was pounding in his chest, almost making it impossible to breath. It felt expanded there, and his lungs were being crushed. He felt a little dizzy. Was this happening?_

_“I like kissing you.” Beneath the natural light the window cast in from the opposite wall scarlet began to rise up on her cheeks. “I like touching you.”_

_His throat ran dry, and he felt his pounding heart halt in his chest for a solid minute. He suffocated and blurted out, “I think about it that morning a lot.” His eyes widened in horror at how her blush darkened, and he knew she knew. “I—I didn't mean.... It ain't like that. I mean, yeah, sometimes it is like that, but mostly... I just... liked it. Liked you.”_

_She chuckled. “I think about it too. A lot.” She exhaled. “And I miss you even more.”_

_“Miss you, too,” he murmured, trying to smile, but he was too embarrassed to keep eye contact._

_“We can't go back to how we were, I realized that, but I don't want to go forward without you.” She stood up and moved to sit beside him on the bed. “So...I want to try with you. You're my best friend, and I can't get you out of my head in a non-best friend way.”_

_“Me, too.” He lifted his eyes cautiously. “I want you...and it ain't friendly.”_

_“I know.” She searched his eyes and touched his cheek, his eyes closed at the contact, and she pulled his face down towards hers, their forehead touching. “Do you want to do this? Because if you don't want a relationship with me, it's okay. We'll give it time and see if this desire...cools down. It could just be that we're both touch-starved—”_

_Her words were cut off by his lips, and it was a brief kiss, but it told her everything she ever needed confirmed. The second kiss was just a hello after a long period away, and she smiled at him. She wanted to take it slow and careful, because this was special. He was special, and she wanted it to last. She already loved him as a friend, but she knew later it would be more than familial love. She had to be heedful with this. They both would._

_“It wasn't a one-time thing,” Daryl assured her. “It's needin' you, and I do.”_

_She chuckled and kissed him._

_“Just one thing.” He cleared his throat. “Can...we keep this between us? For now? I... I ain't ready for that big of a step yet.”_

_“That's fine. I was going to suggest the same.” She gripped his hand. “I want us to belong to us for now.”_

_“Gonna be hard to hide it, though.”_

_“We'll just have to practice at it.” Her heart fluttered, and she laughed lightly. “God, if I'd known how....much better I'd felt afterward, I would have talked to you sooner.”_

_“Well, it wouldn't have been so nice.” In his attempts to keep Carol off his mind, he got a lot of advise from the older men who'd lost love, and he realized what this relationship with Carol meant to him and what they'd made it become with that kiss. He knew this conversation was coming. He would have started it, but he didn't know what to say. She was always the conversationalist between them, so it was better this way._

_“You think?” She narrowed her eyes. “What would you have said?”_

_“Somethin' uncomfortable, like....” He cut off and shook his head. “Never mind.”_

_“Like?” she pressed and saw his neck turning red. She knew what it was then and smiled. “Like getting a private room in A block to stroke it out?”_

_He blinked and turned to her. “You, too?”_

_“Several times a week.” She nodded. “I have a little spot there with a couple books.”_

_“Smart.” He normally did it while he showered or if he was stuck in the tower alone. There were some accidental times like when he slept and his body seemed to have a mind of its own. He never would have thought of going somewhere in the prison. Too many people. Too risky. Maybe that helped get her off._

_Carol titled her head as he shifted slightly. “You're picturing it, aren't you?”_

_“Wasn't till just now,” he admitted._

_“Well, seeing as you owe me, I'll let you handle that. I have to take Judy for the afternoon.” She stood up and paused, leaning down and kissing him gently. “I'll see you at dinner.”_

_He watched her leave and heaved a sigh, shaking his head. He wasn't going to do that. He had his own duties he'd been hiding from, and he'd focus on them. He had the tower tonight, and he had to help Beth with her aim. She wanted to travel out with Glenn, and he approved, but honestly these thoughts weren't working. Fuck, he needed to get out and do something._

_He fled from his cell and out to the courtyard._

_– – –_

_It'd been weeks since they began their relationship, and it was going well. He loved being with her in this new way, though it made hiding it difficult. They shared a bed almost every night, so he'd have to resist the urge to kiss her when he saw her on the mornings she slept in her own bed. He would keep the conversation light and ask her to meet him in the yard for some “training”. She'd smile and return to her breakfast and listening to Mika tell her about her dream._

_Training was cuddling up in Carol's A block cell, mostly making out, though there was some over-the-clothes action. It was great, holding her and kissing her, and he liked the touching. It was slow at first, but as the weeks went on, it was cupping and groping and so much rubbing. He wanted more, and she wanted more, but he was afraid. She'd shown him how she liked to be touched, and he never forgot that lesson. Her fingers and his plunged deep inside of her, her wet walls around his fingers, and he'd brought her over the edge screaming. It was the first time he'd ever done that for her, and it made him want her even more, but he had no control. He'd made that clear that morning in the station. He'd ruin it._

_Carol insisted they would get better at it, but he doubted it. He wasn't going to be good, and he knew it. It'd be awful, and he didn't want to ruin what they had. He could do so much with his hands, but it wasn't enough. The touching was amazing, but it wasn't enough, and he was running out of excuses. He needed it, too._

_Their breathing filled the space of A block, boots and pants were abandoned on the floor of the cell, layers of shirts piled by the bed, and Carol was panting. He felt her walls quickening around his fingers, her head was thrown back, lips parted and moans escaping as she came closer and closer, her nails digging into his shoulders. He wanted to taste her so much at moments like these, her hips thrusting, her toes curling, and he wanted to lick her up, but he didn't know that he could finish it. He had to try, because she looked too damn delicious._

_She whined at the sudden feel of his tongue, her lungs on fire as his tongue took over the actions of his fingers. “Oh, God!” She couldn't breath. “Daryl, yes!” Her face was flush, her body clenching and wet, and she couldn't...keep hold of reality. “Daryl.... Ooh!”_

_He continued to devour her as she came, her hips bucking, and he looked up at her through his lashes. She was a beautiful picture, lying before him. She was flushed and satisfied and lost in the bliss he'd brought to her, her breasts contained by her bra but nipples hard. She found his eyes and smiled at the sight of him between her thighs, and she couldn't believe how far they'd come. She wanted to laugh at how different and perfect their relationship had become, but his tongue stroked her clit, and she moaned._

_“I want you,” Carol said, “inside me, please.”_

_He moved back, wiping with mouth with his hand, trying to think of a way out of this. But her hands were pulling his boxers down to his knees, and she unlatched her bra. They were both exposed fully now, and he couldn't pretend he didn't ache to feel those walls around him. He kicked off his boxer, spotting a strand of condoms he'd gotten on his last run. It was better safe than sorry, and he grabbed one. He saw Carol watching him, fumbling, and she sat up to help him. He had used condoms before, but it'd been a long time, and his nerves weren't ready for epic laughing fest his mind had waiting for him._

_“I've been wanting this for a while.” Carol told him, sheathing him. “Don't be so nervous, Daryl. After what we just did...how can you be?”_

_“It's different.” He could barely hold back when she rubbed against him during their over-the-clothes action. He was so embarrassed, but she told him to just kiss her. She was smiling. He didn't get it, but if she didn't mind, why the hell did he? They were together, and it would great either way._

_He leaned over her and kissed her, feeling her leg hook on his hip, and he adjusted his body over hers. She was smiling at him the entire time, he couldn't help but return it, and he kissed her again. She lifted her hips, and he groaned into her mouth. He pulled back and made sure everything was properly lined up one more time, and he slowly entered her. She gasped at the feel of him inside of her, and he moaned at her warmth._

_“Fuck.” He stopped and tried to breath, but it felt like heaven, and Carol stroked his hair. He knew he wouldn't last long, and maybe she knew it too, but fuck, he didn't care. He wanted to be there, buried as deeply inside of her as he could be, and he seized her mouth hungrily._

_She rolled her hips, he moaned and aped the motion, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She led his hips until he found a rhythm of his own, and they were both moaning and grunting; it felt amazing. Carol didn't climax with him that time, but it felt incredible. He'd come so hard he saw black spots from squeezing his eyes shut, her name echoed throughout the cell block, and he couldn't feel his body for a second there._

_He collapsed on top of her, burying his face in her neck, and she kissed his hairs. “Goddamn....”_

_She chuckled. “Wait till I'm on top.”_

_He returned her chuckle and lifted his head to kiss her. He felt words bubbling up in his throat, meaningful word, but he couldn't get them out just yet. Mostly it was because of someone entering A block, and they had to scramble to get dress and not look like they'd been screwing around the entire afternoon. It wasn't too hard since Carol's hair always looked spikey, but their clothes were irredeemably wrinkly._

_Luckily they didn't come deep enough to see the couple, only made some comments on how to or if to expand. It was Hershel, Glenn and Sasha. They would come to a decision later with Carol and Daryl, and they left. It was a good thing, too, because while Daryl and Carol were dressed and presentable, the used condom was lying on the floor knotted and the sheets were a dead giveaway. They weren't ready to tell their family just yet, and they both admitted almost getting caught made it hotter._

_They cleaned up the cell, Carol left to wash the sheets, and Daryl had watch in the tower with Beth. He kissed her goodbye and headed towards the kitchen for dinner. He ran into Rick and spoke about the garden they'd grow in the spring and barn animals. Rick noticed Daryl was smiling a little, and he wanted to know why, but he didn't want to ruin his mood. He also didn't want to know, because he'd heard some things in the showers at night when it was just Daryl in there a while back. He'd let sleeping dogs lie._

_Carol met with the kids in the library for “story time”, Mika and Lizzie were the first ones there, Molly and Patrick trickled in with the other kids, and she looked over the book she'd picked out for them. She knew Molly's father would hang around for the first half then get bored and wander off. She had a case of knives that she sat on. It had a card board cover full of sock puppets and toys in case anyone peeked inside, but no one ever did. She'd made sure to keep it locked, saying Judith might choke on a toy or two since Beth brought her in here sometimes to play. It was a perfect cover._

_At the end of their lesson, Mika came up to talk to her while Carol secured the cover, handing Molly one of the toys and lifting her eyes to look at the young girl._

_“What's up, sweetheart?”_

_“You look pretty today.” She was grinning. “And happy! That makes you even prettier, so you're beautiful.”_

_Carol smiled softly and set a hand on her cheek. “You're beautiful today, too.” She hugged her. “Thank you, Mika.”_

_“Thank you for the story.” She squeezed her and let go. “Will you sit with us at dinner?”_

_“I'd love to.” She clasped Mika's offered hand and guided her out of the library. “So, tell me about your day. What did you and Lizzie do?”_

_Mika filled her in on their chore and how they would change when the season changed, and she was excited about helping with the garden. Rick would only let them have the hard to kill things, mostly flowers too, but she was pumped. She had decided to take on the task for herself, but Rick didn't want her to stress out about it. She asked Lizzie to help her out with it, and Lizzie complained but accepted. She was thrilled even more for spring, and Carol was glad for it. Mika was a gentle soul and a garden would do wonders for her anxiety about the world. Even though it'd be growling at her through two sets of gates, she'd find peace in it._

_Daryl spotted Carol and Mika collecting food from Karen and David, knowing she'd been invited to the Samuels table, and he settled for the Green-Rhee table. Rick joined them and asked them if they'd seen Michonne. They were all worried about her. Since Phillip had disappeared, she'd gone out for weeks on end trying to locate him, and Rick made it his mission to try and pin her down, to let her settle, but the woman wasn't in the mindset to settle. She wanted his blood, and she wouldn't rest until she had it. Daryl and Rick both knew that truth, but they hoped she would calm down from the hunt. It was going nowhere, and they immensely worried about her. She was a survivor, but also she was becoming a stranger to them. They didn't want that, but perhaps she did. Rick would talk to her when she came home again, help her see this was home, and they'd be all right going forward. Daryl wasn't so sure he could get the point across when she was on the prowl, but he hoped for whatever that was worth these days._

_––_

_It was storming outside, the crashing of thunder and lightening on the chilly air echoed through the prison, and many couples and families were snuggled up on their bunks with blankets for warmth. Most of them were playing games to pass the time, the brave few faced the weather for guard duty and for cooking. Though the warmth of the cooking made it an ideal position. Carol had swapped her cooking duty for a solid week, and she had a couple free days to pester Daryl while he was in the tower. She planned to enjoy every moment of it._

_Until then she was surrounded by lit scented candles and reading over the book Maggie had offered to her. She was bored, and it was long, and it wasn't like she had any pressing matters to attend to. Her stomach had been a little off today, and the candles smelled like cinnamon hell, but she was adjusting. She suspected it was the vension chili that upset her stomach, while the headache adjustment wasn't great, she'd worked through most of it. She just hoped nobody came to chat her up, because she might have to pour hot wax on them and chuck them down the stairs. She was in no mood. She just wanted to be in the semi-quiet with her book and candles._

_“Hey.”_

_She groaned softly and closed the book, turning to face her boyfriend. She almost laughed at the thought. A boyfriend at her age? She never would have thought that was possible. Besides he was much more than her boyfriend. He was her best friend and someone she deeply loved and admired. He was the only man she desired, and she wasn't sure where their relationship was going or would go further down the line, but it'd sort itself out for the best. They were oddly like soulmates, coming together in more ways than one. Hmm, maybe soulmates wasn't the right word, but...in her meaning of the word, it could be._

_“Hey.”_

_“You all right?” He tugged the blanket across her cell door and knocked off his boots._

_“I'm fine.” She set the book down on her nightstand, straightening her spine against the wall. “Why, do you want to read to me? Maybe cuddle?”_

_He chuckled softly. He did enjoy cuddling. He always thought it was stupid and girly 'cause of Merle, but to hold her against her? To feel her in his arms and have her scent flood his nose was the best feeling in the world. He'd be girly for that feeling. “Maybe.”_

_“Why not just sit your head on my lap and tell me about your day, honey?” She moved growing strands from her ear and exhaled, needing to clip them before they overtook her face._

_Daryl smirked and accepted the sarcastic offer, Carol laughed under her breath, and he stacked his hands on his stomach, his legs propped up against the wall since his position made him taller than the bed. “Comfy, might have to do this more often.”_

_“Try me.” She set a hand on his head and combed her fingers through it. “You all right?”_

_“Yeah.” He looked up and searched her face. “I was watchin' Ass Kicker for Beth for a bit.”_

_“Oh? How'd that go?”_

_He shrugged a shoulder. “Tried to play with her, but she mostly gnawed my finger raw.” He held up the injured finger, and Carol couldn't help or hide the laughter, uttering a “Poor baby”, and he knew she wasn't talking about him. “She's cuttin' another tooth.”_

_“That's good. She can chomp the other fingers down now.” She smirked at him. “Did Beth see?”_

_“She's got her own battle wounds,” he mused. “Kinda sassy, that kid.”_

_“How so?”_

_“I dunno, just....somethin' there that wasn't before. I don't know if it's good or bad, but she's made it this far.” Somehow. He blew out a sigh and reached up to collect the book she'd been reading. “Any good?”_

_“I don't know. I've been rereading the same five pages, because I have a candle-induced headache, and I can't concentrate.” She rubbed her temple. “But I need the candles for light, and someone else already snagged the unscented candles, so I'll just have to deal with it.”_

_“Want me to go?” He was ready to drop her book and bail out if she needed him to, though he'd rather stay and just talk. Mostly stay, but he'd do what was best for her._

_“No, you're fine.” She smiled lovingly at him. “I think cuddling would be very nice right now. Do you mind?”_

_“It's okay.” He peeked at her. “You got socks on, right? 'Cause I ain't gonna survive the cold with your toes like last time.”_

_“Oh, shut up.” She smacked him with her pillow, and he snorted a laugh. “That was a different circumstance, and you know it. And yes, I think I have an entire pack of socks on. Besides, it's your job.”_

_He snorted and rolled off the bed. “It isn't my job.”_

_“Yes, it is.” Her amused smile curled up to the left of her mouth before spreading to the right, beaming at him beautifully. “It's probably even a law.”_

_“Well, I'm already in prison.” He smiled instantly at her defeated expression, covering her hand with her hand to laugh, and she pulled her legs in, rolling her eyes at him. He laughed himself, and she hummed softly, shaking her head at him. He studied her close to capture this moment in his mind forever._

_“All right then. Case closed.”_

_“Good.” He kissed her then stepped back from the bed, her brows furrowing as he moved away and blew out her candles. It was to rid her of her headache, but also to hide them in darkness. The blanket was a polite do not bother Carol, but in case anyone checked in, it'd be difficult to make faces out. He'd made sure flashlights were only given to those who needed them, and the curious didn't need them._

_“Could you take our knife off this time?” She still had a bruise from the last time. “And your jacket?”_

_“Want me to get naked too?” He set his knife on the nightstand, his jacked tossed to the bench, and Carol grinned seductively at him. He was tempted, but it was too cold. Too cold and too crowded, and they'd spent a good couple of hours in A block the other day. He'd only just gotten back from a run, and it'd been a lengthy one, so they made up for lost time. Well, making up and just...being together. He liked that best, just being with her, laughing and holding and sharing. It was new to him, but he didn't see how he could screw that up. Not yet anyway._

_“I think we're good on the current plan,” Carol murmured when Daryl didn't speak, making room for him on the bed._

_“Me, too.” He climbed onto the bed, moving to behind her and wrapping his arms around her. She rolled over in the middle of that, and he clipped his chin on her brow. They both groaned, she kissed his chin and snuggled closer, and he buried his face in her hairs. They didn't say anything for a long time, but it was perfect. His hand cradled the back of her head, fingertips absentmindedly massaging her scalp, and he placed kisses to her hair every now and then. Carol buried her smile into his chest, spreading her fingers across his breast to feel his heart beat, and she closed her eyes, her headache dying down._

_Sleep began to creep over them as the sounds outside the cell muffled out of earshot, Daryl had wanted to talk a little, but this felt just as nice. It was better than nice. He loved it. He loved spending any amount of time with her. He loved waking up in the morning to her in his arms or sneaking in to greet him before heading out for the day. He loved her smile and her laughter. He loved how it felt to be with her, and there was never enough time just being with her. He wished they'd met sooner. Maybe life could have been better much sooner. He doubted it. Merle would have ruined it, and Daryl would have let him. If only Merle could have been here, too. If he had, maybe...._

_Carol inhaled. “Thinking about Merle again?”_

_His nose wrinkled. “How'd you know?”_

_“You used to the same sigh at the quarry,” she answered, tilting her head back to look at him. “It... it's been a while since I've heard it. Are you okay? Anything you want to talk about?”_

_“Just...wish he could be here with us.”_

_“I know that feeling, and...we can wish until we don't have room for anything else, but...I think it's better if we move on and let go.” She searched his eyes. “We won't forget, but...we can only live for them and for ourselves now.”_

_He kissed the bridge of her nose. “I know. I got a lot to look forward to.”_

_She smiled at him. “You have no idea.”_

_He leaned down and kissed her lips lightly, she stroked his cheek, and when his lips left her, she insisted they go for a walk. He wasn't up for it, because here was warm and comfortable, but she'd already put her boots on. He heaved a sigh and followed after her, lacing his fingers through hers since most cells were covered to keep any wind out. They wandered through the blocks and talked about anything and everything that came into their heads. It felt good to talk about his childhood, about Merle, with her, and he even got to learn more about Sophia. She was reluctant, but she opened up about her. He didn't push on any topics regarding Sophia, but he squeezed her hand affectionately. She smiled somberly, and they continued walking, their hushed conversation lightening._

_“Oh, look.” Carol pointed out the barred window with a grin. “There's a full moon out tonight.” She released his hand to step outside to view the man in the moon._

_He caught up to her and paused just outside the door, seeing her gazing up at the moon under the protection of the tarp nailed up by Glenn and him last week. He lost his breath at the sight of her, she turned to look at him and gestured to the man in the moon. He realized then it wasn't just being around her or holding or kissing her or talking to her that he loved—it was her. Everything and all things about her he loved. He was in love with her._

_He joined her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling back against him, and he kissed the back of her head, smiling to himself. It was a good close on the night; just them and a million stars in the night sky and a couple walkers groaning at the gate._

_––_

_Carol peered in on Mika and Lizzie who had fallen asleep after dinner and a story, Ryan had asked her to check in on them since he had dinner duty, and she didn't mind. She placed a kiss to their foreheads and tucked them in with an extra blanket in case the weather dropped again. She couldn't be sure, but better safe than sorry._

_She headed out to meet Daryl at the guard tower. Well, not meet, because he wasn't expecting her. She was cashing in on her shift trades from mid-winter, and Daryl would have her company instead of Tyreese's tonight. She didn't know if he'd mind or not. They'd had a bit of an argument over his bed that escalated into them hiding their relationship that blew up even further to being ashamed for this relationship. She wasn't sure who said what exactly, because it all blurred and was drawn out. There were three fights all stemming from the bed argument, and being constantly interrupted only made them get worse and worse until this moment in time._

_She wasn't ashamed of them. She loved their relationship and how they'd grown together in this amazing way. She was proud of him, and she wanted people to know she was with this incredible, talented, beautiful man with a heart of gold, but after keeping it under wraps for so long, she wasn't sure how to handle having them out and in the open. She felt uneasy about that pressure that might bring. There was nothing but them right now, and yes the annoying and becoming more frequent interventions of friends and family, but mostly them. Outside opinions might bring unwanted truths she wasn't ready to see or face._

_While this was nothing like her past relationships, she knew they had flaws. Somewhere in the mess that was them, there were flaws and arguments, parts that didn't align, and that was fine. She could handle that. They could both expect and handle it, but maybe under the pressure of other people an all their views of this relationship, they couldn't. Stress had nearly broken them one, and she didn't want to go through that again. He meant too much to her now. God, she...._

_She stopped walking and pressed her hands into her stomach to try and suppress the warmth bubbling up there, filling her with light and love, and she smiled to herself. There was no hiding it anymore. She loved him. She was in love with him in this whole new way, and it was powerful. It was growing more and more every day, and she hadn't told him yet. She'd never told anybody those words and meant them. Only her daughter, and that was a door she couldn't open._

_She drew air in and continued to the tower. She wanted him to make the first move with the L word. She didn't want to just blurt it out and have him freak out. She didn't know how he would handle it. They were closer now, but Daryl was weird over certain things. Like this scars. He didn't like them to be touched. He would touch and kiss and stroke hers, but he would move her hands from his. He'd play it cool, like he wanted to hold her hand, but she knew it bothered him. She'd tried to bring it up once, but he shut it down. He apologized and said he couldn't talk about it. She knew all about Merle and his father, but not every scar was inflicted by Will or the men Merle knew, and that broke her heart._

_If she ever saw him hurting himself, she'd stop it. Somehow. She knew it would have to be from the inside out, because a pain that intense had gnarled and thick roots in his heart and in his mind. She would do whatever she could to help heal that age old wound. He deserved to live truly free from the long dead monsters of his past. They had no right to invade his mind now, and he shouldn't have to entertain them. It was his life now, and he was doing a great job with it. He always would._

_She saw him sitting on the ground with his legs pulled up, cloaked in a poncho, and he was staring out at the darkness. They hadn't spoken in a couple days, and it showed. She had to play this carefully._

_“I know you're there,” Daryl said without turning his head, and Carol rolled her eyes with a silent sigh._

_“How?” She approached him._

_“Your scent. You smell like soap.” He glanced over at her then fixed his gaze on the treeline. “Ty ain't coming, is he?”_

_“Not tonight.” She studied him. “We need to talk.”_

_“We're on watch,” he corrected. “We need to watch.”_

_She heaved a heavy sigh. “I know you can multi-task, Daryl, please. I don't want to fight anymore.”_

_“Then let's not talk.”_

_“And I don't want that either.” She narrowed her eyes at him, seeing him blank-faced and disinterest floating in his eyes. Her heart panged, and she could barely ask, “Unless you want out?”_

_He flinched and met her eyes for the first time in days, swallowing his fear at that question, and he climbed to his feet. “You know I don't.”_

_“How do I know? You won't talk to me.” She stepped closer, but not much. “You barely look at me.”_

_“Just tryin' make the shame less,” he retorted, stepping inside the tower to check on the supplies left for him. He had no appetite, but he needed something to drink. He also didn't want to have a shouting match and call the attention of any people or walkers. Rick hadn't finished his sweep of the fence yet either._

_“Would you come off that?” She stormed after him. “I am not ashamed of you or us. You know that has nothing to do with...keeping this hidden.”_

_“How would I?” He turned to face her. “You never told me why, just because. Because what?”_

_“Because we both agreed to keep it hidden until we were ready, and I'm just not ready, all right?” She crossed her arms and stared hard at the wall behind his shoulder. “It has nothing to do with us. It's me. Maybe I'm scared of what'll happen to us or how they'll affect us. I don't know, but I'm not ready to start telling everyone we're in a relationship.”_

_He exhaled and felt what must have been tons fall from his chest. He thought he was the problem. He was terrified she was only interested in him when no one around them knew. He was terrified this would fall apart around them, so he kept away. If he wasn't around, he couldn't see it shatter. A child's prospective , but it mostly saved his heart. It still stung from being away from her, from knowing it was a fight that caused this distance, and he couldn't bear that. He tried, but it was too much. He needed to stop running as a first instinct. It solved nothing._

_“I care so much about you, Daryl. You don't even know how much, and I like having us to myself. It's how I keep us safe, and I know that isn't any way to have a relationship. I do know that, but I need that for a couple more weeks. I just... I need you to understand that this is my first honest and good relationship, and it's with you.” She was trying not to be emotional, but her eyes burned, and she couldn't blink hard enough to keep the tears back. “God, it's you, and I can't lose you if we screw this up. I love you so much—”_

_Daryl's eyes widened at her words, Carol gasped and stumbled back, not having meant to say that right now, and she squeezed her eyes shut, tears falling free. His mouth had fallen open as he tried to say it back—tried to say anything—and Carol softly reprimanded herself. She didn't want this moment to be the moment she told him this. She had a plan for it, and it wasn't right here. It wasn't right now. Jesus, why did she even bother to plan anything?_

_She turned to face him and tried to gauge his reaction. He wasn't moving, but he wasn't running either, so that was a good sign. His mouth was cracked open, like he wanted to speak, but nothing came out. He was stiff and still, and she decided to just go with it. Fuck the plan. He was more important. This was more important._

_“I... I love you, Daryl.” She couldn't help but grin at him. “I always did as friends and as the man who helped me and taught me so much, but then how I loved you changed. And I can't pinpoint down when it changed, it just did, and... I love you more than anything. I could never be ashamed of you or us. You have to know th—”_

_She was cut off by him closing the space between them and embracing her tightly, and she was taken aback by the sudden hug. He held her tightly, his strong hand gliding over her back to her shoulders and squeezing her body against his. She could hardly breath, but she loved it. She loved him, and she hoped he knew now that any doubts or self-downing thoughts weren't true. They both had insecurities and knew pain, but this love wouldn't be tainted by them. Perhaps shadowed and maybe touched, but it wouldn't ruin it. She wouldn't let it._

_He cupped her cheeks and kissed her, hard, and she'd scarcely recovered from the embrace. He knew that, too, and guided her back against the rare wall in the room made mostly of glass. He broke the kiss to search her eyes, a smile crossing his lips, and he kissed her again and again. He wasn't sure if she'd heard his I love you, but he said it with every kiss, with every touch, with every movement. He loved her so damn much, and she loved him right back. He didn't know why it was so shocking to hear, but it sounded fantastic. It felt fantastic, and so did she._

_Neither one had meant for this to happen. When Daryl heard her enter, he thought they would fight until they called it quits. He went into his watch prepared for a further broken heart. And Carol thought they would argue into a semi-decent conversation about their insecurities and how to improve them. She hoped when he called out to her that he was ready to have a real, long talk about it. Neither one had thought for a second this would take such a massive turn._

_And while it was the first time love had come into the equation, it wasn't the first time they had made love. They had sex many times since their relationship started, but it became more. It became love and becoming one, finding something lovely and lasting beyond the pleasure, and they found themselves in that same wondrous bliss. Wrapped up on the floor of the guard tower, clothes and poncho the only cloth nearby as Daryl hadn't touched the stack of blankets left for him, wrapped up in each other and reaching that height together._

_Daryl rested his forehead on hers, kissing her lips over and over, still gently rocking their bodies together, and Carol let her hands slid down to grip his forearms. She was breathless and a little numb in the knees, and she loved him. God, she loved him so much._

_“I love you.” Daryl searched her eyes, becoming still now. “I love you.”_

_She beamed at him and raised up to kiss him, her heart flipping in her chest at those words. “I love you, too.”_

_He chuckled happily and couldn't help but grin at her. “You're everythin' to me.” He cupped her cheek and claimed her mouth once more._

_––_

_It wasn't until the sun began to peek over the clouds did Daryl realize he'd utterly failed to keep watch, but at the stirring beside him, he realized he hadn't failed every last night. He kissed her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her, and she moaned softly. He knew they would somehow have to sneak into the prison to shower and get clean clothes since their clothes had been used as a terrible make-shift bed for sex last night. He just didn't know how they were going to do that. He had a couple hours until the next shift came, but they couldn't just sneak bare ass into the prison to clean up._

_“Good morning.” Daryl kissed her cheek, and she smiled at him._

_“You have awful morning breath.” She accepted his kiss nonetheless and nuzzled against his side, inhaling deeply. “Hmmm....”_

_“Must've been something I ate,” he smirked, and she giggled without opening her eyes, burying her face in his chest. “We gotta get up.”_

_“Where's the coffee then?”_

_“Wrong life.”_

_She lifted her head up. “No, it's the right one.” She kissed him lightly and sat up, spotting her clothes. “Oh, God.”_

_“Yeah.” He sat up beside her, his arm falling onto her lap, and he looked over the room. “Under clothes made it.”_

_“I can't wear my bra and underwear back to my room.” She rolled her head to face his. “And it's too cold for me to try.”_

_“Could use the poncho,” he suggested with a gesture to it._

_She groaned and collected what few clothes she could wear. “You need to work on control.”_

_“You're blamin' me?” He swiped his boxers. “Seriously?”_

_“Not blaming, but yes.” She dropped her hands to her hips._

_“That ain't even close to true,” he tossed back. “And you liked it.”_

_She laughed and snatched the poncho from the floor. “Well, I may have, but I hate this.”_

_“Guess we both gotta work on control.” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “And you not comin' to see me on watch.”_

_“Was I a distraction?”_

_“Only a little, but the best kind.”_

_She laughed again and kissed him. “I love you.”_

_“I love you, too.”_

_“How are you going to get inside?” Carol adjusted the poncho over her tank top, seeing it was large enough to cover her completely. His shoulders must have bulked it out._

_“Haulin' ass in my clothes when my relief comes.”_

_“I could come back and finish your shift once I've showered.” She squinted when the sun caught her eyes._

_“Nah, it's fine. Just get some sleep. We didn't do much of that last night, and you got a class with the kids.”_

_“All right. I'll see you at breakfast?” He nodded. “Me and your little fan club.”_

_“Stop.”_

_She smiled. “I'll save you a seat at the table.” She kissed him goodbye and headed inside. She was lucky to find on one was awake yet. She scurried to her bedroom and dropped down onto her bed, yawning as exhaustion settled into her bones. She decided a shower could wait._

_Later that day when she met Daryl for patrol, they waited until they fell out of sight to hold hands and greet each other with a kiss. It didn't matter if they were caught or not, all that matter in that moment was the other person._

_– – –_

_As time went on and the seasons shifted, Carol and Daryl's relationship grew more and more, and they began to care less if they were caught. Somehow no one ever seemed to walk in on them unless they were in the middle of a small fight. Carol decided to just put a hold a fight and wait to see if someone was coming. If not, they continued in private, because it was so silly to pause a fight. They didn't mind being caught kissing or holding hands, but fighting about something new they tried in bed and didn't like or why clothes were left on the floor instead of the basket or whose turn it was to wash both sets of sheets since they still weren't sharing a cell, which began a whole new argument wasn't the reveal either wanted._

_So, naturally Carol woke up in her own bed late that day, still groggy and groaning at the scent of beans soaking for dinner. She was nowhere near the cafeteria, but she could smell them, and it twisted her guts. She hurried to change and get out of the prison for a change. It was a lovely day outside, and she wanted to enjoy it before the rain came. She couldn't bare to be cooped up here without having a day in the sun. She needed it. She spent so much time with the children and with Daryl, she rarely saw the sun. She missed it, and so did her pale skin._

_She rolled the sleeve to her cardigan down and passed Jeanette and Glenn, who were in charge of the beans and venison for their dinner. Carol was meant to be on the grill outside today and tomorrow, cooking up breakfast, but she'd slept too late. She'd have to hope Patrick covered for her. He was a good kid, and he loved to cook, so he likely did. She was relieved to see him standing there by the grill with Bob, who was keeping an eye on the minor and the hot surface. She smiled and stepped outside, the scent of cooking venison knocking into her guts, and she groaned, feeling bile rise up in her throat._

_“Hey, you don't look so good.” Dr. S set a hand on her arm. “Here, have a seat.”_

_“I'm fine.” She gagged and tried to force a smile to reassure so she could escape. “It's just the...my stomach, probably something I ate last night.”_

_He nodded. “Take it easy. If you need me, come see me.”_

_“I will.” She smiled and scurried to the tower once he'd left, climbing to the top for fresh air, and she lowered herself down onto the floor, crossing her legs. She exhaled deeply at the crisp spring air, and she closed her eyes. She really shouldn't have tried mixing expired sauce with owl meat. It was rough going down, and she'd spent the night on the “toilet”. She didn't tell Daryl or anybody, because she didn't want to handle their guilt and pity staring. She just wanted to live out her regret and snooze it off. Apparently snoozing it wasn't going to cut it. The venison reminded her of the night she died. Ugh._

_“Here.” Maggie held out a jar of filled with brownish squares to Carol. “Daddy made... um, he made this for me a couple days ago. I don't really have a use for it right now, so here. Help yourself.”_

_“I'm fine.” Carol laughed at just saying it, and Maggie sat beside her with a smirk. “Or I will be. I just need some fresh air and to away from that awful seasoning Patrick or Bob used.”_

_“You're queasy today. I noticed you coverin' your nose, and I heard you last night.” She cracked the jar open. “Your stomach's upset. It'll help.”_

_She smiled. “Thank you.” She accepted the jar and helped herself to come, the sightly bitter candy a bit more hard than chewy as it appeared, but it wasn't half bad for homemade on few ingredients. She would have to ask Hershel how to make it and try and sweeten it up some. It was a lovely sentiment, but not so lovely on the taste buds._

_“You're welcome.” She inhaled. “Spring's finally here.”_

_“Yeah, it's nice.” She leaned back against the wall and exhaled. “I noticed they started planting weeks ago when the frost died down. The kids will be starting the garden soon.”_

_“That's true. It'll be great. We could use the color around here.”_

_“The chalk art is helping with that,” Carol reminded her._

_“Yes, it is.” She chuckled, recalling when Glenn busted out his stash of chalk for the kids that first sunny day, and everyone went nuts. Maggie and Glenn had to pick up on their chores so they could have some time for themselves, to just be kids and doodle. It was the best day, and on the side of the prison read: Thank you, Glenn. It was in choppy handwriting, but it was so sweet._

_Maggie smiled to herself and closed the lid to the ginger candies. “I should go and get some sleep.”_

_“I'll keep an eye out till the next shift arrives.”_

_“That'd be great.” She smiled at her. “If your stomach doesn't settle, go see Dr. S. or Daddy, or Bob. You don't have to stick it out.”_

_“I'll be fine.” She looked over the younger woman and set a hand over hers. “You thought you were pregnant, didn't you?” She knew Hershel was preparing her for motherhood. She and Glenn rarely kept their hands off each—like another couple she knew—and kids were inevitable for them. It made Carol happy to know their future wasn't so shakey._

_She nodded. “Yeah, but...I wasn't.” There was sorrow to those words. “Glenn doesn't want to be.”_

_“He does want kids, but this world is making him unsure. Don't worry so much about when. It'll happen when it's time, and even if it's difficult, you'll have a new life from it. A reason to keep fighting that's greater than yourself. And you'll be amazing at it.”_

_She grinned. “Thank you, and I'll try and keep that in mind.” She stood up. “Enjoy the watch. If you look about twenty-five feet that way, there's more grass and walkers.”_

_“That is the scenery of dreams,” Carol teased. “I think I'll move my room up here.”_

_“Good. Take the whole tower duty with you.” She smirked and headed out with a wave._

_“But if I did that, were would you and Glenn sneak off to screw around?” Carol called after her, and Maggie laughed._

_She sat there for about twenty minutes, enjoying the weather, and she heard boots coming towards her. She knew it was Tyreese. He was bouncing around jobs to try and find something he liked, and she didn't think he would find anything he really liked. Certain things had to be done, and she hoped he understood that._

_“Good morning.” Tyreese smiled down at her. “Hiding?”_

_“No, just...enjoying the view.” She climbed to her feet and smiled a greeting. “How are you?”_

_“I'm great, thanks for asking.” He looked her over and noticed a glow to her. There was something more to her than just her amazing smile, and it was contagious. He felt damn good today, and now it had a boost. Maybe he would take Daryl up on his offer on the that store run a couple weeks. Sasha and Michonne were out there now, checking it out and trying to clear it out. It might take a while to divert those walkers, but it'd be worth it. “You look good today.”_

_“Well, thank you. I don't feel that good, but that's nice to hear.”_

_“What's wrong?”_

_“It's just something I ate. It'll pass.” She waved it away. “I'll just stick to the beans for tonight.”_

_He noticed the cringe at the mention of beans, and he chuckled. “I have a couple cans of soup that are still pretty good. You can have them if you want.”_

_“Oh, no. I'll be fine.”_

_“It's really okay. After all you all have done for me and mine, it's no trouble.” His warm smile ate away at her guilt. “Please, I insist.”_

_She sighed. “I'll make it up to you.”_

_“You don't need to.”_

_“But I will.” She looked down at the yard to see it was clearing. “I have to get to story time with the kids, but I'll give you something in return. Thank you, Tyreese.”_

_Carol departed from the tower, Patrick joined her on her walk to the library, and Carol thanked him for covering the grill for her. He simply grinned and was happy to have the experience. He wanted to help out more, and this as a big step. He couldn't wait for the next one, and Carol chuckled under her breath as his enthusiasm. It was refreshing to see, especially from the boy who built models out of Lego pieces. She worried he'd never branch out from that, but he and Carl were good friends. He pitched in where he could. He was a good kid. He loved to learn, and he admired the hell out of Daryl. There was a moment on breakfast duty when they met, and Patrick tried to have a conversation, but got too flustered to speak. Carol couldn't help but laugh at both of their reactions. Daryl simply nodded and walked off while eating, and Carol had to explain it to him later. Daryl didn't believe that was the reason, but Carol would make him see the people loved him. Perhaps not as much or in the way she loved him, but it was still love and appreciation. He'd have to get used to it._

_Story time was brief today, Carol's stomach began to act up again, and Lizzie offered to cover the lesson, but Carol cancelled it. She would return to it tomorrow, and she sent the kids on their way. She tried to make it back to her cell block to lie down, but she stopped in the courtyard for some air, inhaling deeply to try and settle her stomach. It was a fruitless attempt, because the air did nothing. She heard someone else entering the courtyard, and she gagged, covering her mouth._

_“Hey, you all right?” It was Michonne._

_She tried to nod, but her breakfast came up instead, and luckily there was an empty bucket nearby. She crumbled to the ground and hurled into it, and Michonne dropped down beside her, rubbing her back and instructing her to get it all out. It would be better to just get it all out now._

_Carol groaned as her throat stung from the heaving, Michonne moved the bucket away so she wouldn't get sick from the look or smell of her puke, and Carol rubbed her hand across her mouth. She looked at Michonne and didn't recall her being there this morning._

_“I just came to check in.” She searched Carol's eyes, seeing the questions in her eyes, touching her forehead and cheeks. “You have a fever.”_

_“Yeah, I worked that one out for myself, but thank you for support.” She smiled weakly, and Michonne helped her stand up. “I can get back fine.”_

_“I'm sure you can, but let me help.”_

_They walked back to their cell block, Michonne grabbed a bucket in case Carol got sick again, and Carol spotted two cans of soup resting on her nightstand. She smiled to herself and sat down on her bed, and Michonne left to find Dr. S to come and look her over. Carol tried to stop her, but she was already gone. She sighed softly and kicked her boots off, lying down with her hands on her stomach. The mere motion seemed to calm the unease stirring the fever had brought, and she closed her eyes to try and calm her body down even further._

_By the time Michonne and Dr. S returned, Carol was passed out. He felt her forehead and the fever had to have gone down. He thanked Michonne for coming to get him, and she went back to business. He got a bowl of cold water and wet a rag, setting it across her brow to further reduce the fever. He would speak about her day when she woke up. Until he would let her rest. That was the best medicine for a fever weakened body. If it was worse, he'd have to speak to Hershel. They didn't have medicine for a fever, beyond little things to break or lower a fever. If it grew worse, they'd need more. Maybe at that Big Spot had something he could use. He'd have to check in with Daryl to be sure._

_As luck would have it, Daryl entered the cell block, sweeping the area for Carol. They were supposed to meet for lunch, but she didn't show. He checked the library and around back, but there was no sign of her. Hell, he'd found Michonne, but not Carol. He was likely to find a pot of gold next. He heaved a sigh and spotted someone in Carol's cell, and as he drew closer, he saw it was Dr. S—and Carol._

_“She all right?” He resisted the urge to crawl onto the bed and check out every inch of her to ensure it wasn't a bit or something worse. At least remove the heavy layers to try and reduce the fever. He knew Carol hadn't gotten bitten, but his mind was no stranger to worse case scenario._

_“Just a slight fever.” He lifted his eyes from her sleeping form. “It might progress into more. I can't speak on her immune system, but if it does worsen, we should take precautions.”_

_“Worsen?” He chewed on his bottom lip, his heart racing at the sight of the woman he loved lying in bed, pale with dry lips and a doctor standing over her, telling him it could get worse._

_“It's just a precaution, I assure you. It might just be from the shift in seasons. It might be from too much time in the sun, but if it's not, I want to be ready to nip it in the bud.”_

_“Yeah, I get that.” He nodded in agreement. “You uh...got any ideas?”_

_“Yes, the Big Spot. You're going there in a few weeks, right? Once it's cleared? I'll write out a list of some medicines.” He hoped Carol improved by then. “But I'll use what supplies I have now to try and avert a worsened condition.”_

_“Actually, I can handle it,” Daryl assured him. “I know her best, and it's probably just...allergies. If it ain't, I'll come and get you.”_

_His brows rose. “You sure you want to do that? If it's not allergies, you could get it.”_

_“If she's caught something, I probably got it, too.” He regretted those words, because Dr. S was smirking now. “W—we're on the counsel together, and we spend a lotta ti—time together. As friends. So...bound to have it already.”_

_“All right. I'll leave her in your care. You know where to find me.”_

_Daryl watched him leave then pulled the blanket over her cell, Carol's personal mark of “do not disturb” and sat his crossbow down, propped up against the wall. He removed her boots and her pants so the blankets wouldn't overheat her, and he covered her up with a thin blanket. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and hold her until this was over, but someone else would likely enter to check in on her. Lizzie and Mika, Beth, Rick even. A lot of people cared about her. Some more than other got under his skin._

_He climbed onto the bed by her feet, leaning against the wall, and having kicked his own boots off, he crossed his legs. He noticed a stack of books by her nightstand and helped himself to one. He didn't know what they were about, but he did know they weren't adult novels. Those were hidden them when they started to get more and more kids in the prison, and Daryl knew Carol didn't take any. She made comments about how tempting it was when they pulled them from the shelves, but she assured Maggie she was too busy for them. It had to be an inside joke, because they were giggling. He and Rick exchanged a look, and despite being involved with Carol now, he still didn't know what the hell that was about._

_Carol exhaled slowly, lifting her hand from the blanket and dropping it against her forehead to check the temperature there; and he shifted to lean over her, looking her over to see if she was waking. “Mmm....”_

_“Hey, you all right?” Daryl set a hand on her stomach over her other hand, and she nodded, groggy from such a short nap. “You wanna lie back down?”_

_“Not really. I'll be up all night.” She laced her fingers through his over her stomach and smiled at him. “So this is how I get you off duty. I'll have to make a note.”_

_He chuckled. “Please, don't. You missed lunch, by the way. I was worried.”_

_“What was lunch?” She wasn't exactly hungry, but food did sound nice. She couldn't pinpoint what food, but food in general. She might have to crack open that soup sooner than she thought. What kind of soup was it, though?_

_“Beth came up with it,” he informed her, lying down between the wall and her. “It was a broth with leeks and potatoes with the fat from last night's venison. She managed to turn it into a real good meal.”_

_“That does sound good.” Her stomach was trying to crawl her to death at missing such a meal, and she groaned softly. “I'm hungry now.”_

_“I asked her to save you some. It oughta be in the kitchen. I'll go get it for you.”_

_“That's so sweet.” Carol sat up with him and smiled. “You didn't have to do that.”_

_“You've been hungry lately, and I don't like you bein' hungry,” he remarked. “We got plenty of food coming in the garden, and you shouldn't be hungry.” He'd noticed more and more that Carol had gotten an appetite the last few weeks—months, really—and they had the supplies to quench it. He worried she let herself go hungry, because they'd spent so much time going hungry. They weren't accustom to having one meal a day, let alone two, so he started to put some things aside for her. Some canned fruit he'd found in the fall, some chocolate Michonne didn't get to first. Just little things, and he'd noticed she'd gotten a little plumper. He wouldn't tell her. He didn't want her to take it as an insult, but he liked it. There was more of her to hold and kiss, and he liked knowing she was eating good. It made him happy._

_She pulled her legs from off his lap and set her feet on the floor. “I don't know what I'd do without you.” She stood up and realized she had no pants on. Or shoes. “Maybe not walk out of my cell half naked.”_

_He chuckled and caught her hips, pulling her over to him and kissing her belly through her shirt. She chuckled and weaved her fingers through his messy hair, closing her eyes as he nudged her shirt up with his nose, kissing the skin there. His fingers dipped into the waistband of her panties, and she tried not to laugh at how quickly this had escalated as his tongue traced the line of her hip, but any chance of laughter died in her throat as her blood surged. The knowledge that literally anybody could walk in on them coupled with Daryl's thumbs rubbing into her hips while his tongue circled her belly button caused a shudder to course through her._

_His tongue and lips caressed her lower stomach while his fingers tugged down her panties until they landed at her ankles, his hands moving to cup her ass, and she moaned softly, reminding herself to stay so quiet since this wasn't A block or the visitation room. Her fingers tightened on the strands of hair they held as his hands moved between her thighs, parting them, and he guided her back carefully. She stumbled slightly but he caught her hips and knelt down in front of her, dipping his head between her thighs._

_They had successfully had sex in his cell or hers many times during the day or in the dead of night, but never in the middle of the afternoon when people could come and check on them and discover them like this. And that fact made it even sweeter, although Carol had no problem reaching that peak with his tongue's eager strokes. He was a little surprised himself at how quickly Carol had come, but it only allowed for more time together, and they didn't waste it. It was a mess of shushing and moaning and a little biting as people loudly walked in and out of the cell block, chatting about whatever the fuck they were chatting about. They were both too lost and too high to even care, nails almost breaking skin as they came together._

_Carol wrapped her legs around his waist, burying her face in his shoulder, and he remained on the floor with her, panting against her soft skin and holding her closer. He closed his eyes and whispered words he didn't expect her to ear, and she leaned back against the wall._

_“Are you serious?” She searched his eyes and slowly smiled._

_“Yeah, I'm serious.” Her smile caught on his lips, and he pulled her closer by her hips. “You're everythin', and that ain't gonna change. You already know I love you more than anything.”_

_She reached up and stroked his cheek. “I love you, too.” It wasn't the first time he'd said those words, but every time felt the same as that first time, and her heart skipped a beat. How could she ever hope to come down from such a love? God, to love and be loved so much even her feet were in the clouds._

_He moved in to kiss her, but heard someone climbing the stairs. He instantly released her and adjusted his pants, and he felt like an idiot given what he just asked her, but she'd collected her panties and climbed into bed, too. They shared a panicked and silent chuckle, Daryl sat down on the floor where she'd sat, and she lied down just in time for Mika and Dr. S ask to come in._

_“Hi, sweetie.” Carol smiled at the flowers Mika brought her. “Those are beautiful.”_

_“They're for you.” She handed the yellow wildflowers over. “To help you get better.”_

_“That's very thoughtful. I love them.” She accepted the flowers and sat up. “I don't have a vase, but I can make one.”_

_“Lizzie's making you one,” Mika assured her. “She and Beth are painting it out back right now. Don't worry about it. Just focus on feeling better.” She hugged her tightly and squeezed her eyes shut. “Promise?”_

_“I promise.” She rubbed her back. “I'll be finishing up Huck's tale soon.”_

_“Good.” She grinned when Carol released her. “I'm gonna go get you some fresh water.”_

_The young girl ran out, Dr. S chuckled and handed over a bowl of soup for Carol with a note from Beth, and Daryl shifted uncomfortably on the floor. Dr. S asked if he was all right, mostly wondering why he was on the floor, and Daryl shrugged a shoulder, saying it helped his “bad back”. Dr. S never knew him to have a bad back. He sometimes had a difficult time leaving bed after a long run, but that was just exhaustion from constant awareness and dangers. It must take its toll out on Daryl when he returned, because the others would be fine, but the next day Daryl was like a dead man walking. Carol was always eager to help him out, but he'd preferred to ask Beth or Rick to keep tabs on Daryl during those times. It let Carol enjoy some time off for once. Although he still found her in his cell. He had to at least try._

_“Your fever's lowered but you're still warm. Flushed, too.” He checked her pulse, Carol cut a look to Daryl, and he snorted under his breath. “Strong heartbeat, too. It's a little fast.”_

_“I'm excited about the soup,” Carol assured him._

_“I'm sure.” He chuckled at her expression. “I'll come back to check your blood pressure, maybe do a couple more exams to be sure it's nothing serious.”_

_“I appreciate it, but I'm okay. I think I was just tired and hungry, and it got the better of me.” She smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Caleb. I'm really fine.”_

_He nodded. “All right. I'm still a little worried about that fever, but you know your body best.” He couldn't have missed the look Carol sent Daryl if he'd been blind, and he resisted the urge to laugh. It made sense now why her pulse was fast and her cheeks were flush. As did Daryl's back problems. At least Maggie and Glenn offered a heads up, couldn't they do the same? “Enjoy your lunch.”_

_“Thank you.” She watched him leave and grabbed the bowl, nearly guzzling it down, but she had manners and a spoon._

_Daryl checked outside to be sure no one was coming then turned his back to her and the blanket, Carol tried not to laugh, and he blamed her. She did laugh this time, and he wished they had their own place to avoid this situation._

_Condoms were scarce, but they were vital. Glenn tended to horde them when he could find them, and Daryl had managed to snag a few before Glenn could. He'd save them for times like these—quickies here and there—to avoid the mess of sex, and he'd always end up stuck with it on for an hour or four or half afterward. He was getting used to it, and he hated that fact. He blamed Carol, and she'd laugh at him. He was just glad his last check up before the world went to shit had been good, and they were good to go without. Nothing to worry about beyond being caught. Never again would he try for the library, because right after they were trapped in a meeting, and it got uncomfortable quick._

_“We oughta...take a trip to A block,” he murmured for only her to ear, tossing the condom into her trashcan._

_“I thought you wanted to move into the same cell,” Carol commented, scooping up more soup._

_“Yeah, but it don't change anything.” He lied down on her bed, stretching out and over her lap, his eyes landing in her eyes. “Can't be loud in here....”_

_She stirred the soup and set the bowl on his forehead, his eyes instantly closed, his lips scrunching at the action. “You like it loud?”_

_“Like you loud,” a mischievous smirk across his lips, and those baby blues were on her again, “sayin' my name like you do.”_

_She didn't know why, but she blushed. She pursed her lips and averted her eyes to her soup, spooning out broth and potato, but not eating it. “You're not as quiet as you think you are.”_

_“Quieter than you,” he jested, but he knew the truth. Their first night in visitation was full of echos, and they were both loud. It could have been the enclosed space, but he doubted it. He wasn't a loud person most of the time, but being with her like that felt like fucking paradise. He finally knew what she liked and where to put what, and sometimes it was too much. He lost himself to her, and that was when they got the loudest. Also when they ended up with bruises and scratches. He couldn't explain some of them, and Sasha stopped asking._

_“As much as I love proving you wrong,” Carol met his eyes, “we do need to talk about this.”_

_He inhaled deeply. “I want you to be comfortable with it.”_

_“I am. I just...don't know what we are exactly.” She heaved a sigh. “We've been together for months, and we love each other, and soon we'll tell our friends about our relationship and share a room, but then what? Where...do we go from there?”_

_“We'll take it one day at a time.” He removed the bowl of soup from his forehead and set it on the floor, sitting up to meet her eyes. “We don't gotta rush anything. Or tell anybody anything, just...be us.”_

_She gripped his shoulders loosely. “Does just us still run off to A block? Or take late night showers? Or freak Rick out in the stacks?” He chuckled at that. “Because I'm worried we might lose....I don't know what exactly, but we might lose something if everyone knows. Honestly, you can't deny the sneaking around makes the sex great.”_

_“Only till I figured out what you like and how to last.”_

_She was thrilled he wasn't saying it bitterly after all this time, and he was right. It wasn't just sex between them, and she knew that. She worried that edge of sneaking might break them, but it only laid out foundation for this new part of them as a couple. The rest they'd build themselves, and neither one every made anything that wasn't made to last. Well, here lately anyway._

_“I love you.” She slipped her arms around his shoulders and laced her fingers together. “Thank you.”_

_“For what?” He searched her eyes._

_“Come to A block tomorrow night and find out.” She kissed him lightly. “I'm going to get some air and see how my flower vase is coming.”_

_“I oughta get back to work.” He didn't move from her arms. “We're gonna be just fine, you know that, right? Nobody's gonna come between us, not even Rick finding us in the stacks.”_

_She giggled and told him to shut up, his laughter melting in with hers. He'd ruined such a sweet moment with that. It'd been terribly awkward at the time, too, because they thought they were alone. Carol wanted to repay the entertainment Daryl had provided her while on watch, and Rick had been in the library with Judith to find something to read her to sleep with. A bookshelf was all that was between them, and Daryl being the tense man that he was got caught up in a conversation. Carol tried to urge him along, because all Rick had to do was round the corner to find Carol between Daryl's legs with her mouth full. It'd taken an eternity to turn the night around, but after the nervous laughter and some stroking, they had a pretty good night. The next time Carol took them to visitation._

_He kissed her goodbye and headed out to meet with Glenn, passing an unfriendly face on the way, and he tried not to let it bother him that this person was on his way to see Carol. He knew nothing would happen between them, but the guy was such a flirt, and Daryl had seen Carol flirting back before they were together. He couldn't his anxiety playing tricks on him and making him question if he was enough for her. After all they'd shared and been through and taught one another, his anxiety still found ways to twist it all around. He would just have to swallow hard and move forward. If anyone was interested in Carol, it was fine, because he knew she loved him. She didn't look at anybody else the way she looked at him, and he'd always have that look of hers in his mind to beat back the apprehension. It soothed the storm, and he exhaled with ease, walking onward._

_– – –_

_Daryl woke up to Carol in his arms, the sun had barely risen in the sky from the pale light spilling into the room, and he tried to carefully pull his arm out from under her head without waking her. He had no such luck, and her eyes immediately opened to the motion. She rolled over and inhaled sleepy with confusion at him. He couldn't answer just yet, because she looked so gorgeous lying there with her hair all mussed._

_“Got the medicine run today,” he whispered in the near darkness of the room, gliding a hand down her belly over the blanket. “Michonne wants to do a check of supplies for us and ensure we got everythin' we need from Hershel.”_

_“Oh.” She blinked a couple times in an attempt to wake herself up._

_“I'll be gone a while, but you can stay here and go back to sleep.” He felt a lump form in his throat. He didn't know how this would go, but he knew he'd be back. He knew he'd see her again, but he felt unsettled by the sorrow in her eyes. There was more to it than simply sorrow and concern, and he could start to make it out._

_“Promise me you'll be okay out there.” She rolled onto her back to face him. “You won't do anything needlessly reckless, all right?”_

_“You got it.” He nodded his head. “We'll get the meds, and everyone'll be okay.”_

_“It was close at the Big Spot, and we lost Zach there, nearly Bob and—”_

_“Hey, that ain't gonna happen again.” He shifted beside her. “It won't.”_

_She set a hand on his chest and bobbed her head stiffly. “Rick and I are going on a run, too. We're going to try and find some cold medicine to tide them over until you all get back.” She rubbed her thumb over the tattoo etched into his skin, unable to meet his eyes._

_“Lizzie will be fine. Glenn and the others, too.” He tried to catch her eyes, but she wouldn't look up. “Hey, look at me.”_

_She instead shifted underneath him, her hand coming between them, and he groaned at the sudden grip on his cock. Her eyes found his instantly then as she worked his length, he narrowed his eyes at her, and she kissed him softly. He didn't response right away, but she persisted. He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her closer, bringing his leg over to be on top of her._

_She kissed him deeper now, he moved her hand from his and placed it over his shoulder, lining their bodies up. He asked her if she wanted this, really and honestly wanted this, and she nodded, cupping his face and kissing him. She wanted to be with him before he was gone for days, and they'd spent the night just cuddling, but now was the day of, and she was oddly emotional and wanted him from deep inside. It wasn't entirely out of love, and that did scare her, but this wasn't about sex. It wasn't about orgasms or ignoring conversations; it was being whole with the man she loved. She wanted that connection—needed it—and he filled the empty parts of her with each kiss and caress and thrust of his hips. She felt tears prickle up in the corners of her eyes, and she held onto him tighter._

_The sun now filled the room with golden light, and while it had been a near inaudible love making, it screamed at Daryl. He tried to ask her what was wrong, why she was upset, but she didn't answer. He held her and said he was sorry, but she assured him she wanted it. She did, but there was more to it than just the run._

_“When you get back,” Carol searched his eyes as he soothingly ran his fingers along her spine, “we need to talk.”_

_His throat almost closed. They hadn't gotten around to tell anyone about their relationship, and she did sleep with him most nights, but there were times when she would seem upset and ignore him for a couple days. He wanted to tell everyone. He wanted everyone to know that Glenn and Maggie weren't the only lucky ones here, but so much had happened since the Big Spot, and it didn't seem like the right time._

_“That don't sound like a good conversation.” He tried to make it jokey, but his words were hollow._

_“It's not about us,” she assured him, trying to smile to assure him, and when that failed, she kissed his lips. “We're fine.”_

_Just fine? He tried not to let his heart break with those words. “Then what?”_

_“It's...hard to explain, but once you're back, we'll talk.” She kissed him again. “I love you, and I'll see you soon.”_

_She tried to leave then, but he shot off the bed and caught her wrist. He scrutinized her face to see the truth behind those words, behind those eyes, and when he couldn't see it, he tried to feel it. He pulled her into his arms and embraced her, but he didn't have long. Michonne called up to him, and Carol told him to stay safe and let go of him._

_“I love you, too,” he told her. “When we get back and get those meds into Lizzie....when she gets better....we'll give 'em a family. You and me.”_

_She smiled at him. “You want that?”_

_“I want you,” he confessed, “and all that comes with you, so yeah, I want that, too.”_

_She laughed gently, and it brightened her face as it was real. It wasn't for show. It wasn't for his benefit, and it was beautiful. “I'd like that.”_

_“Good 'cause it's gonna be every day.” He slipped her back into his arms, and she laughed a little louder, forgetting her surroundings. “You and me and those girls. We'll face it all together, and I'm gonna have to learn how to talk about girly stuff.”_

_“Oh, like what? Flowers and boys?”_

_“Yeah.” He grinned at her, and she buried her face in his chest. “Gotta go back to sneakin' around for alone time, too.”_

_“Mmm, we can just pawn them off on someone else for a couple hours.”_

_“Hours?” His brow rose, and she bit her bottom lip to keep from grinning like a total fool in love. “Guess I better get back real soon.”_

_“Yes,” she whispered, “very soon.”_

_They kissed goodbye, Daryl dressed and met Michonne downstairs, and Carol curled up in his blankets, lying down for there in his scent and with his pillow until she knew Rick would come looking for her. She dressed herself in the spare clothes she'd brought up here and headed out to begin her day. She had to make a stop before she left with Rick, but then they could hit the road._

_– – –_

_The run had an expected turn, and Carol sat very still in the car of the people they'd found in the cul de sac, tears streaming down her face. She wanted to challenge Rick, to try and make him see this was a mistake, but she couldn't feel her leg to even do that. The sorrow crippled her, and she couldn't handle even the walker banging on her window. She drove off with no real goal, and she found herself outside a law office. She calmed herself and got to work securing the place._

_Her mind was filling with thoughts of the girls and Daryl, but she couldn't do that just yet. It was pushed to the back of her mind as she set up cups to collect water. She didn't know when he'd come back or how he'd handle the news, especially since it should be Carol who told him. She had planned on telling him, but Rick took that way from her. That and so much more. She didn't know if he was completely incorrect in this action, but it was clear she wasn't welcome to try and correct this. Probably never would be welcome ever again. Not with Rick, and maybe not with any of them anymore._

_Her breathing grew strained as her eyes once again burned, and she exhaled through her mouth, drawing in air through her nose. She cleared her throat and continued to make this place livable. It was a temporary fix. She didn't know where she was going to go, or where she could go, but she couldn't stay so close to them, especially if she could never be with them again. If they all thought like Rick, if he made them see this from his point of view...._

_Night fell too quickly, all of her tasks were finished, and she attempted to get settled in for the night on the sofa. She held her gun close and tried to rest her body in an enjoyable way, but her body had come to expect Daryl's. Beside her without touching her, or holding her, and she couldn't sleep. She thought she heard a noise, but it was only in her head. She rubbed a hand over her face and almost laughed at her situation. But laughter would become tears, and she couldn't handle that right now._

_Everything she knew and loved was miles away from here, likely already informed of what she did without her version of why. She did what she did to protect their family, and yes, it failed. The sickness still grew and infected so many others. All she wanted to do was prevent just that, to ease Karen's and David's pain. She had no medicine to do that with. They had no medicine, and Daryl wand his group wouldn't make it back in time. They wouldn't, and those two who first got sick would have suffered, just like Patrick. They would have choked and gasped for air and nothing would come. No air, no help, nothing but losing their bodies to a new infection, and that was cruel. A slow death, coupled with the burning sickness and finally losing your body to a new illness. An illness that would bring a ravenous hunger toward anyone, even people you once loved. They would have died either way, that pain was the same no matter what, and she killed them to try and contain that flu and prevent anyone from getting bitten._

_She swallowed hard. Lizzie and Mika were her daughters now, and she had no idea if Lizzie would even survive this illness. She had no idea if Mika would catch it, or if something else might happen to her later down the road. They were just kids, but this world was no place for them. She taught them the best she could, but she feared it wasn't enough. Mika was a sweet child but so soft. She couldn't imagine hurting anybody, and that was dangerous. Almost as dangerous as Lizzie's inability to comprehend walkers not being who they were anymore. She could still see her face when she talked to Carol about how they get to come back. She was so genuine. She had no idea the dangers of walkers, about how that change affected them, about what they lost in it. She could only hope Lizzie learned. Daryl would teach her what they were. He'd show her. She knew he would. They had plans, and he could keep them, even if she was gone. They would be fine. He'd make sure they would be okay._

_Her heart twisted at the thought of Daryl, of him coming back and trying to find her. She wasn't afraid of him knowing what she'd done, just of how Rick could tell him. Of what his mind might jump to if she wasn't there to explain it herself. She knew him, and she loved him, but what she did... She didn't even tell him or ask for his opinion on how they could help them. She just did it, killed them and burned them and didn't speak up when Tyreese beat Rick. She didn't say anything. He was there to see that, and she didn't know where his mind would take him with that information. Yes, they had their past and their relationship, but this was bigger. It might have destroyed them even if she told him. Though now she wouldn't know. She would never know._

_She exhaled, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to not think anymore tonight. She had to get rest. She had a big day ahead of her tomorrow. She couldn't do this. No matter how much it was still there in the back of her mind—seeing the girls at story time and dinner, seeing Daryl sitting on her bed with a small smile on his lips, being with them, all of them. The future of them being a family had been taken from her, and she wouldn't get it back._

_She was making herself sick at this point with these thoughts, and her stomach wouldn't settle. She was upset, but she didn't think it'd taken her over so much. She wished she had something for that, but all she had was some food and makeshift candles. She almost missed the cinnamon hell she endured with Daryl. He could always manage to turn a miserable situation around, and she had no clue if he knew that, but she hoped he never lost that gift. It was born from his heart, from the selflessness there, and it was one of his best thoughtless actions._

_She smiled to herself and remembered their conversation just this morning, how he held her and kissed her. She stacked her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes, trying to relax into the memory to sleep, but her stomach began to flutter. She groaned and sat up now, knowing it couldn't be something she ate. She hadn't eaten since before the run with Rick, and she was...somewhat calm now, so it wasn't nerves. She didn't know it was, but it was starting to bug her._

_She set her feet on the floor, moving her gun to the coffee table and exhaling slowly. She hadn't felt like this before. She had issues with sleeping in the past and issues with her nerves, but it never felt like this. It wasn't a tightening, like dread closing in, and it wasn't a bubbling, like nausea rolling up in her belly. It was just...light, fluttering in a way. Like someone had let a million butterflies loose inside of her. Like how she used to feel with Daryl. Only it was more in her chest than in...._

_She stood up at an unwanted memory flashing into her brain, and she stepped back from the couch, her mind racing. She knew it wasn't possible. This was just anxiety. This was dread and self-loathing. This wasn't anything more than her brain on overload, trying to process the events of today. It was chaos and nothing more. Absolutely nothing more. It couldn't be anything more. She was making something out of nothing, and no matter what she thought, it was nothing._

_But maybe all those months ago wasn't the start of menopause. She just assumed it was, because she was around that age, and it made sense. This didn't make any sense. Well, it did, because Carol thought she wasn't able to get pregnant. She thought she was going through or was already through menopause. She had briefly read on it at the library, but she gotten interrupted so many times by the kids or Beth or Daryl. She had a couple of the symptoms, so she chalked it up to menopause. She never thought once anything happening with her body could have to do with...with...a baby._

_And maybe it didn't. Maybe it was just included in the part she didn't read, and she was overreacting. Her mind was exhausted emotionally, and it could just be confusing this possible quickening from when she was pregnant with Sophia. That had to be it. She was exhausted and not thinking properly. She had a stressful day, and this wasn't helping. She needed to rest. Tomorrow would bring answers. She was sure of it. She simply had to calm her body down and sleep. She hadn't properly slept in days. Her mind and body were playing tricks on her. That's all it was. She couldn't be pregnant. There was no way._

_She lied back down, avoiding her stomach entirely, and she covered her face with her hands, wheezing a laugh at her frazzled state. This wasn't the life she pictured when she was a little girl, but honestly, no one ever pictured their life and got it right as a kid. Certainly not her. God, all she wanted now was sleep. To sleep and forget. They both were implausible to her, but she had to try._

_––_

_Carol found a pharmacy in the middle of night when she couldn't sleep, collecting her things and packing them up, and she drove out there. It wasn't too far away, and if it was around a durable home or building, she would stay there. There was a river only a mile or so down the way, and she could make do with that. Find some seeds, grow more tomatoes. She'd figure it out._

_She watched the sun rise, but she couldn't enjoy the beauty of it. She had so much on her mind, and she couldn't see beyond the colors. She just kept driving, putting more and more distance between her and the prison. She had to have driven a good three or more hours out before finding the small town and pharmacy. Maggie and Glenn had come this way not too long ago. Hell, maybe it was a long time ago. Time seemed blurry these days, and clearly, she wasn't good at tracking it. Judith was their human calendar of how many months had passed, but even that was limited. She'd stop being a toddler, and they'd lose track once again. Not that it mattered. The world they knew of time and dates had ended. Survival and endurance were their top priority now. Few people seem to have additions to those two. She was beginning to wonder if she was one of them._

_She tossed the map aside and spotted the pharmacy, along with a couple walkers, and she pulled her car in the shady space between two buildings. She pulled her knife out and approached the walkers soundlessly, taking them both out and crouching down. She knocked loudly on the doorframe and moved back to wait for any walkers inside, and slowly three more trickles out. She had no trouble with them as they were slow and didn't come out all at once, and she stepped inside, seeing the shelves mostly raided._

_She sheathed her knife and roamed the aisle, picking up a discarded basket. She helped herself to the randomly abandoned items that could be of use, avoiding the aisle that seemed to be glaring at her. She took her time and checked mind the counter to see if there anything there. It was swiped clean, save for some anti-depressants and some random names she couldn't recognize. She'd let them remain and finally moved for the feminine health section. It was funny, because the side with all the sex products was wiped clean, but the baby/period side was hardly touched. Some items were missing for Judith and a few woman and young girls at the prison, but mostly it was untouched. Especially the pregnancy tests. She'd noted a couple boxes were missing, likely Maggie grabbed them for the future and the scare._

_She wasn't sure if it would come up positive for an actual baby or menopause throwing her hormones off, but she had to try. It was all she could do. If they were positive, she'd go back to the prison and explain it to Rick. If she was going to have a baby in this world, she wanted to spend her days with Daryl and the girls. She was older than Lori, and she might not survive it either, so that would be the end of it. Considering everything worked out, she wanted her baby to be with Daryl and its siblings. It would have the best life they could ever offer. Without a doubt._

_She loaded up her car and sat on the hood of it, drinking some expired teas she'd found in the freezer and cleaning the blood off her knife. She was trying to focus on anything but the reason she was filling her bladder with weakly flavored ginseng and honey tea. She helped herself to a sliced tomato, seasoning with salt and pepper left to rot in the pharmacy. It was nice little meal with the afternoon sun beating down on her and devouring her shade. She licked the juice off her fingers and felt a sudden need to pee._

_She slid off the roof of her car and found the pre-readied bathroom and tests. She did her business and decided to check out a few of the houses nearby for any extra supplies. She found some blankets, only partly eaten by moths in the first house she entered, and she found a nursery. Her legs grew heavy as she explored the room, seeing it was still in decent condition. She saw clothes thrown onto the bed, either done by one of her family or the family who lived here before, and she spotted a little jumper that was too small for Judith. She fingered it lightly before picking up, seeing Winnie the Pooh characters stitched into the fabric. She smiled softly at it and looked over the other clothes, seeing some dresses and little socks. They must have missed this place when Judith was first born. In their defense they were caught and held captive shortly after this run. She wouldn't too eager to come back here either._

_She sat down on the bed and looked over the clothes once more before looking down at her stomach. She had put on some weight since the prison began to flourish in the spring, but so did other people. She assumed at least it was menopause affecting how her metabolism, but if it wasn't, and if this was real then.... there was a baby there. Her and Daryl's baby, and it'd been with them for a while now. It could probably sense her hectic emotions from last night and started to act out in response. It would seem this baby already took after her father, and it wasn't even a confirmed pregnancy. It was just an assumption base on months of unprotected sex._

_She used a blanket to carry some the clothes that would fit her downstairs and almost flinched when the kitchen timer dinged from where it sat on the dash board. She'd hoped time would move slowly while she searched, because she wasn't ready for the results, but now they were. She inhaled and found them resting on the hood of the car._

_She exhaled and gulped at the results of all four pregnancy tests. She thought a wide range would provide clearer results, so she used four different brands, and she had four results in their different designs for answering staring at her with a plus sign or pregnant or two little lines or the weird one with a circle and a box with lines. They were still plus lines, but still. What the hell was happening?_

_She covered her mouth with her hand as her lunch began to rise in her throat, and she couldn't stop herself from puking it up. She reached blindly for the brick wall behind her and leaned into it as she coughed and gagged._

_Once it passed and her stomach settled and surely hours had passed, she sat there on the ground away from the tests and puke, snuffling and shaking her head. She was trying to reason this all away. Like expired tests, but she'd checked the dates, and they had a while to go. Even if she wasn't sure of the year, she could track by Lori's pregnancy and Judith's age currently, and they were fine. So, she hoped she'd waited too long. She tried a different brand, but the results were the same. Luckily, she didn't upchuck this time, but she shouldn't believe this was real. She was pregnant. Not menopause, no crazy but pregnant. Again. At the end of the world with no doctor or sterile rooms or even security that the baby would even survive. She had nothing._

_But her baby would have something, and she would do everything she could to ensure that, so it was time to go home now. She picked herself up and dried her eyes. She sank down into the driver's seat and set a hand on her belly, exhaling before turning the key in the ignition and heading for the prison._

_She was calm by the time she was nearing the law office, almost curious to see what Daryl would say about their baby, but as she got closer to the office, she noticed heavy smoke in the air. Her heart stopped knowing it was coming from the same direction as the prison. She sped up her pace and found the prison in rubble. Smoking and burning and the gates torn down. She stumbled out of her car and saw no sign of any living person._

_“Daryl....” She grabbed a gun and hurried into the yard, seeing bodies everywhere, and she noticed a familiar white shirt with suspenders and false leg with no head. She dropped to her knees and looked around, seeing that once smiling and happy face had turned and been killed again. She clenched her teeth and promised to give him a burial._

_She stepped over the fallen gates and saw Phillip's body lying there, beaten and bloodied, and she gripped her stomach as it churned to know this fall had been his doing. She pushed herself onward and saw bodies of people she knew from Woodbury and people she didn't know at all. She spotted a bloody baby carrier and almost collapsed. She had to hope it was for some other reason. She had to hope she was wrong, that Lori's sweet girl wasn't dead. She knew if Rick or Daryl or Carol or anybody was around, Judith wasn't dead. She just wasn't. Someone would have gotten to her. Someone would have saved her. Beth or Maggie or Tyreese. Somebody._

_As she looked it over, she noticed blood leading away from the carrier, but it wasn't like being ripped apart. Walkers didn't carry their food away. They ate where it landed, and this wasn't enough blood for the size that Judith was. It was more like an injury wound. There was almost a smudged hand print on the side. This was someone wounded getting to Judith. Judging by rubble and chaos, it would be no surprise if Rick had been wounded fighting off Phillip and grabbed Judith to escape. She was alive. Carol was sure of it._

_She continued inside and found her way to her old cell block, seeing so many supplies and memories left behind. She wondered if the farm looked like this now, layered in debris dust and broken memories. She proceeded through the block to her cell, seeing it was untouched by the tank's blasts. Half of the prison was still crumbling, still burning, and she needed to be quick if she was going to get out of there in one piece._

_She dug a duffel bag out from under her bed and went from cell to cell, collecting any type of food or medicine. She helped herself to a camera Glenn had. Maybe he'd want it back, and she hoped to hand it to him one day. She spotted the picture of Lori, Rick and Carl in the young boy's bedroom, carefully picking up the frame and setting it inside the bag. She looked over his room and knew that after what happened today he wasn't a boy anymore. Not mentally. He would be forced to be a man now in this world, and she hoped if she saw him again, she could remind him that wouldn't always have to be. Maybe sometimes he could be a teenager again, and it wouldn't have any consequences. It would just be growing up._

_She stopped outside of Hershel's cell and swallowed before entering, grasping his medical bag and seeing the crayon drawings along his walls. The kids adored him and all he taught them about growing crops and how he treated scrapped knees when their parents were busy with the wall or with chores. He was such a gentle man, and he didn't deserve what happened. At least Phillip wasn't alive to cause more death and pain. It was slight consolation, but that's all this world had to offer._

_She spotted his bible resting on his bed and remembered how Maggie, Beth and he would gather for prayers. She set her hand over the leather over and could almost feel his energy there. He believed in change and in people, because he had to change how he saw the world, how he saw people, and even though it was the worst, he didn't let it affect who he was at his core. That was a beautiful lesson she'd teach her baby, and maybe having part of Hershel there would help. Maybe she needed his guidance, too._

_She set the bible inside her bag and went to Rick's room next. She knew Beth had a lot of Judith's items in her room from practically claiming the child, but Rick had baby formula and diaper rash cream and bottles and everything else she'd need. She found another bag in Rick's room and loaded it with everything she might need, thinking only a moment on what would really happen to her and this baby out there in the world. No walls, no other protection, no family or other source of food. She had no idea what she was going to do. If she survived, if the baby didn't survive. She wasn't entirely alone now, but it wasn't the best company to have._

_She heard crumbling and stepped into the hall to see the ceiling was cracking. She cursed and hoped it held together for five more minutes. She took all the non-perishable food. It wasn't much given they were growing and raising their food now, and she found a couple packets of seeds. She tossed them into the car and hesitated before going back inside for one more thing. She moved quickly, feeling dust from the cracks overhead landing on her, and she padded up the stairs to Daryl's bedroom. She collected his stash of homemade bolts and the blanket he always used, glancing around the room one more time before heading out._

_The build shuddered now, she almost tripped on the stairs, and she caught her balance luckily, hearing soft growling coming from in front of her. She came off the stairs and reached for her knife, seeing a familiar pair of brown boots. Her heart stopped at flashes of small feet in dirt shuffling out of the dark, auburn hair thick with mud and grime, blood on her exposed shoulder, blank hungry eyes looking out at them._

_The tightly bound stash of bolts and blanket hit the floor as the body of Lizzie Samuels shuffled over to Carol, snarling at her. Her hair was messy and bloody, her fingers twitched at her side, milky blue eyes fixating on the sound, and Carol's own eyes moved to the gunshot wound on her stomach. She could see little fingers smeared there, likely Mika was with her and tried to stem the bleeding, but she couldn't. She couldn't, and Lizzie must have been left to turn. Mika couldn’t stop it. She probably couldn't do it._

_“Lizzie....” She came off the steps as the young girl drew closer. “I'm so sorry.”_

_Lizzie reached for her, Carol caught her hands and thrust her knife through her temple, carefully lowering her down as she went limp. She carefully picked her up and moved her into Carol's old cell, setting her down on the bed and covering her with the blanket, spotting the flowers Mika had continued to bring her. She collected them and set them on her chest, pulling the blanket over her face and hearing part of the prison collapse._

_She set a hand on her forehead, the blood seeping through the cloth, and she shuddered, repressing tears she gathered the dropped items. She ran out of the prison before it could crash down on her. She barely made it to the grass before it tumbled down. She knew the sound would attract more walkers, and she made to leave when her eyes landed on the cart of guns. There was a body shot dead lying over it, but she could see a couple guns still inside. She hadn't bothered to get anything for protection, because she had a few items, but a few more wouldn't hurt. She swiped the guns and loaded up her car. She spotted Hershel's head once more and wondered if a shovel was nearby, but the dead began to creep out of tree line. She wouldn't just leave him there, so she argued with herself for a moment before having to leave anyway. There were too many dead, and she couldn't risk it. She would come back for him. She'd bury him, so he could rest in peace._

_As she pulled away from the falling remains of the prison, she gripped the wheel and spotted a few dead following the sound of her car. She would let them trail off on their own. She had more important issues on her plate. Like her family. She had made peace with never seeing them again. Or she was trying to make peace with it, but now that she really couldn't see them again hit her like a ton of a bricks. They were scattered or maybe dead, and she had no idea where they would go or how she could find them. She didn't even know where Daryl would go. They never talked about the prison falling, not once, and now...when she really needed him, he was gone from her. And he might always be._

_She inhaled shakily and decided to find a place to rest. She hadn't slept in a while. She needed a real meal and to figure out places to lay low outside the prison. She had to find them—any of them—no matter what it took._

_She cleared the backseat and cracked open a can of peaches, laying out the map on the seat. She saw a couple of places they might find while fleeing, and she marked them off, realizing as she leaned over that she might not be able to do the “whatever it would take” approach. She set a hand on her lower stomach and closed her eyes. This wasn't just about her anymore. She had a baby that was grown enough for her to feel movement. If the baby died inside her, she was dead, too. She had to cautious. She had to protect herself and this baby. It was all she had, all she might ever have again._

_“Okay.” She set the empty can down and adjusted the pillow between her and door. “Just a small nap and then we'll start looking for them.”_

_The baby seemed to stir at her words, and she gasped softly, realizing the baby could hear her. That meant she was either near or past the twenty-two week mark. She wasn't very large to be twenty-two weeks pregnant, but she could scarcely remember her body during her pregnancy with Sophia. That was another lifetime ago, but she remembered the month markers as clear as day. She used to go over them with Lori while she was pregnant, and it stuck. So, this baby had been with her and Daryl for months. It'd likely heard Daryl's voice and knew it, too. Maybe that was why the baby fussed last night. Daryl's voice wasn't there or his hand or his kisses. They weren't for the baby, but maybe the baby thought they were and missed him, too._

_She stroked her stomach. “We'll get him back, somehow, but we will, and he is going to love you.” She felt more stirring and chuckled through the tears forming in her eyes. “I need you to be strong for me, okay? I don't know how we'll do this, but I will protect you to my last breath. So, help me and be strong, just like your dad, just like me. Please, it's all I ask. Be strong and stay with me, and I'll love you and protect you for the rest of my life. Okay?”_

_There was no movement, Carol's eyes screwed up, and she felt a kick—not fluttering, not stirring—but a strong kick. She chuckled and rested her head against the window. “Good.” She snuffled and swallowed. Tomorrow, they would start looking, but carefully. She had something else to protect now, too._


	10. Illusions, Shattered

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Nina was checking off items for her hunting trip with Tyreese as the sun crept up over the clouds, the chilly morning breeze blowing over her and through her hair. She came to the gazebo and found Enid sitting here, writing in a notepad and let her be. She knew the young girl was writing out her emotions after meeting Beth and Noah and the others; writing on the processing of coping with strangers and new family members, and she wouldn't disturb that.

She continued onward towards the new houses Daryl and Abe and construction were building, seeing Carol sitting outside with Charlotte, and she felt excitement bursting in her chest before jogging over to greet them. It was so early, too early for her excitement. She would dial it down before she talked to them, but she had to greet them. Briefly, in case Carol wanted this time to herself and her little girl, who still seemed so familiar, however; she couldn't place how she felt a familiar energy to the young girl. She would just have to figure it out as time went on and she spent more and more time together with them.

"Good morning." She waved at them and hugged the clipboard to her chest, smiling at the young girl who instantly spun around to see who had called to them. "Am I intruding?"

Only in every sense. "Not at all." Carol patted the spot next to her. "Come and sit. There's plenty of blanket to go around."

"No!" Charlotte ran over and covered the spot before Nina could move a muscle. "I'm sitting here."

"No, you're not." Carol lightly scolded her daughter. "Let her sit there, and you can go play."

"No." She plopped down and dug her heels into the earth.

"It's fine. I have a checklist I should finish up." Nina laughed lightly and waved it away, trying not to make this even more awkward. She knew the young was being possessive of her mother after all their time alone together, so she wouldn't make a big deal of it. She and Carol could hang out any time, and there was plenty of time for her and Charli to get to know each other. She hoped, anyway.

"No, this isn't about the seat anymore. It's about her be—"

"Daryl!" Charlotte shot up and ran over to him, her mother instantly moving to catch her, forgetting herself for a moment, and she was immediately lifted into his arms, grinning at him happily. No trace of her attitude toward Nina was there, and Carol frowned. "Good morning."

"Mornin'." He hadn't expected such a greeting, nor had he expected Carol and Nina to be together so early in the morning. He felt uneasy going near them, as Carol was his ex and Nina wanted to be his current. He didn't want this to get awkward, but that was already seeping into the mix with little effort. It was sad—to be around two of his favorite women, and for it to be uncomfortable.

"Hey." Nina sat down beside Carol now that Charli was distracted by a favorite uncle, no doubt, and she heaved a sigh, luckily pushing out some of the tension, and Carol chuckled, having felt the weight of that sight on her shoulders as well. "What's going on?"

"I just came to talk to Carol for a bit, play with the girls." He tried to place Charlotte back on the ground, but she refused to let go, and soon Carol and Nina were both giggling as he had a spider monkey clinging to his shirt. He couldn't help laughing with them, and Charli told him to stop and proceeded to hold on and suck her thumb, all very casual and calm. He knew very little of kids, as Michonne had taken up the mom role for Judy, and he was busy with runs and his shifts, so this was all so new. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he hoped he'd do it well.

"I can take a hint." Nina hopped up. "I'll finish up my checklist, and we can talk later. Maybe we can all do dinner later this week. I know I'd love to."

"A dinner? With just the three of us?" Carol cut a look to Daryl, who glanced at her then avoided eye contact. "Um, why not? I'd love to get to know you better, and it's one night I don't have to cook anything. It's all right if the girls come with?"

"Why not? I'd love to have them. Maybe I'll adjust to have a house full of little ones myself." She laughed softly and waved goodbye, Charli waved back, and she disappeared around the houses, not seeing the flinch Carol had given at the mention of kids of her own.

"Why did you want to talk to me?" Carol asked Daryl, standing up and holding her hands out for Charli out of habit. Charli instantly moved for her mom, and Daryl felt a little sad to let go of her so soon. "Let's get inside. I must start breakfast anyway. you can join us. Or…are you busy?"

"Not today. I'm free. I came to spend the day with you—er, all of you." He cleared his throat and offered a smile, and he saw Charlotte return his smile. "Christ, she's really mine, ain't she?"

"No, she's actually Rick's and I've been lying the whole time." Carol mused lightly. "Or so Beth seemed to think."

"Wait, what?" He frowned now. "Beth thought she was Rick's?"

"It's the hair." She reached out absentmindedly and brushed hair from his eyes. "You and Rick have the same hair."

His smile returned softly, lovingly, and he reached up and grasped her hand. There was a moment when neither looked away from each other, and they held onto each other's hand. Carol swallowed with difficulty and tried to remove her hand, but her hand didn't comply with reasoning in her brain, and Daryl seemed to have the same struggle. To have the other so close yet so far away was a new form of torture, and it was killing them both.

"Breakfast, please," Charli spoke up, holding her tummy and pointing to herself. "Hungry."

"Right." Carol removed her hand from his and supported Charli's bottom. "Let's get breakfast going."

"I'll help you with it."

She smiled at him lightly, barely showing her teeth, and she nodded. "I'd love that."

They went inside, Carol set Charli down to roam the house, and Daryl was given a small hug at his leg before she ran off to the toy box Michonne had given her the other day when she had a playdate with the girls—Judy and Gracie. Carol didn't know it was actually a gift from Daryl. He'd made it a long time ago and had been using it for holding spare bolts and arrows, but he stayed up the night of their talk to paint it and carve some teddy bears into it for Charli. He wanted her to have normal childhood items, and he wanted her to have a piece of himself there with her. He hoped to have more than a piece by the time they were done preparing breakfast.

"I'll make the toast. Why don't you get started on the eggs?" Carol held out the carton to him, and he accepted it. "Do you think venison is too much?"

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and we oughta get some fresh meats soon, so you can replace it almost immediately." He flicked the oven on and grabbed a skillet from the shelf. "You get some of Michonne's bread?"

"No, I made it myself." She tucked hair behind her ear with a slight tremble in her fingers, recalling the last time they were in a kitchen together and feeling her heart quicken at the memory. They were one of their "runs", and they'd spent the entire day making loving. Carol finally slipped away when they'd fallen asleep and helped herself to an apple for nourishment. Daryl found her a couple minutes later, smiling sleepily at her, and she offered him the apple. He'd bitten off a huge chuck, she looked at him so offended, and he kissed before going down on her and bringing walkers to the door at the intensity of his strokes and teasings. She couldn't move afterwards, so he took the walkers out and carried her upstairs for snuggles before they had to head out the next morning to actually look for supplies.

Carol felt her body burning at the memories and wanted to relive them, but she couldn't do that. They were in a new and unknown area in their relationship, and the girls were home, and he had other involvements. She wouldn't be that person. She would just stand here and make breakfast for her girls. Possibly take a bath later today to help relieve the bundle of nerves clenching at her core. She missed him so much, and that tightening wasn't all arousal at memories. She longed for him in every sense of the word, and it was starting to hurt that she couldn't have him. More than any pain she'd ever known—to have someone so close that you love but you're unable to touch them. It was just like Sophia…when she came out of the barn. Only it wasn't a walker that kept her at bay; it was another woman. Even if they were on pause, Carol wouldn't do that. She couldn't be that person.

"Do you want some apples?" Daryl inquired, having noticed the bowl of them beside him.

"What?" Heat flashed in her cheeks, and she stared at him with wide, rounded eyes. "No!"

"It's… just fruit."

"I… I'm saving those for…a pie." She recovered quickly, returning to cutting the freshly made bread and kicking herself for reacting in such a way. "I'll let you have some of my pie, if you really want apples then."

He nodded, still confused by her yelled no. "Okay, I'd like…your pie. I mean, I probably will. Best cook I know.

She smiled softly to herself. "Better than Nina? Have you tried her cake?"

"Ain't a fan of lemon," he admitted. "But I like apples, pie and apple pie, so it'll be great. I'll bring a grilled boar. We can make a cook out of it. Maybe invite Michonne and Rick and the kids. It'd be great. Like a family thing."

She lifted her eyes to his. "That would be amazing, Daryl. I'd love to do that. I've always loved cook outs, but I could never do them."

"Why not?" He instantly remembered why not the moment those words came off his tongue. He always knew Ed was a scar on her body that would fade but never truly be gone. But after all these years and of having her as his, he forgot about the man himself. He was glad to forget such a fucking bastard, but not at the expense of making Carol remember the man, even briefly. He wanted to kick himself, but she simply smiled at him and told him a soft lie. They both knew it was a lie, but it was only said to keep the air and conversation light. He promised to not make that mistake again.

"Sorry." He salted the eggs and continued to prepare them silently.

"Good morning." Mika strolled into the kitchen and grinned at the sight of her parents. Well—heck, yes. They were her parents. She loved them both, and they both played a part of raising her. Daryl had more time with her, but of course Carol made such a huge impact on her as a child. Well, a smaller child, anyway, but it didn't matter. They were her mom and dad, even if they didn't both go by those names. They were her parents, and that was the truth. "Everyone sleep okay?"

"Yeah." Carol popped the toast into the toaster and pulled out the jar of blackberry jam. She was tempted to ask for some strawberry jam, but she wasn't sure she should ask for it when she had a full jar of blackberry. She'd have to wait and see how quick they'd go through it.

"Mostly." Daryl murmured, and Mika narrowed her eyes. "I had some nightmares. It's fine."

"Oh, no, Daryl." Mika instantly wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him, eyes shut tight and fingertips pulling on the martial of his shirt. "I know it was rough, but it's okay now. You really don't have to go through it anymore."

Carol's lips formed a line as she watched this scene unfold.

"I'm fine, just had a long night." He rubbed her back and caught a few strands of loose hair between his thumb and index fingers, exhaling deeply. He used to do this when she was younger, when they were alone and in darkness, drowning. The strands of hair against his thumb pad felt comforting, like touching blades of grass outside of his house while he recovered from his wounds. It was better than other habits he picked up. Mika was a ball of comfort for him, and he was grateful for the kid. He'd have to pay her back for trying and sometimes winning against his demons. They were just too great for a sweet heart like hers.

"I promise," he murmured into her ear.

"Good." She released him and stepped by him to take over cooking the eggs. "Mmm. I'm starving."

"I can tell." He set a hand on the counter and leaned over her shoulder to ensure she didn't burn the eggs or herself. She was a great little chef, though, so he hardly worried. She was still like a daughter to him. He made a vow to raise her as his own, and he would keep it, even if he and Carol weren't the parents to her he had hoped at the time of making this vow. There was always tomorrow, and tomorrow was unspoken for. He had hope for tomorrow. All tomorrows until his love and he were back together. It was the only route that made any sense to him in this life. As a lover, as a stepfather and now just as a father. Carol had paved the way for those new roads, and he would pave a new road for them together going forward.

"What would you have nightmares about?" Carol dared to ask.

"A close encounter we had when Mika was twelve," Daryl replied. "We… were trapped in a hotel for weeks, trying to avoid a horde, and…. She was almost bitten."

"What?" Carol's heart stopped, a flash of living this moment without Mika passing through her head, and she gripped the counter tightly. "What happened?"

"We were able to get one walker away from the rest and used its guts to hide in the crowd, but… I had gotten my leg caught in a fence, and it began to bleed." Mika looked up from cooking the eggs. "I…I was surrounded, and I panicked. I ran into an alley and had to hide under a trashcan, and they kept coming. I…I screamed for Daryl, and…"

"And I came runnin'," Daryl continued for her, meeting Carol's eyes. "I used a chain to take out the walkers, took out some of that garbage from the bin, and we just hid there. The guts from the walkers I killed covered the scent of blood, and I was able to stop the bleedin'. We were trapped for about five or more hours then Glenn and Michonne came and saved us."

"Oh, God. That must have been horrible."

"It was hell." Mika exhaled deeply. "I have a cool scar from it, though. Nina told me boys dig scars."

"She told you what?" Daryl panicked.

"You know, chicks dig scars, too," Carol suggested, just in case. She didn't want Mika to grow up and feel like the only way to go was straight, so she'd mention this now. She wanted the best for Mika and whoever she would continue to grow up to be.

"Mmm, probably, but I don't have many girl friends to talk scars over." She pulled the skillet from the stove and set it on the counter. "I mean, Enid and I sometimes swap war stories, but I don't have anymore. I haven't even gone on a run—well, not one that was a success."

"You'll get there." Daryl grabbed some plates and spotted the toast pop up, replacing the freshly toasted bread and setting the toasted on a plate to be buttered and jammed. Mostly jammed. Butter was a pain to come by since it had to be hand churned, and it was done well by only Morgan, and he hadn't been in town lately. He was currently at the Kingdom, checking it out for Rick, and he would be escorting their leader back here soon to sign treaty agreements. It sounded like a fantasy—Kingdom and treaty agreements—but it was reality now. They had to join together and keep stable, keep safe, and should anyone knock on their walls here or at Hilltop or the Kingdom with ill intent, they remaining towns would come and rain down hell itself.

"Mommy is it ready yet?" Charli was already rubbing her plump little belly, jutting it out to make it even more plump, likely wanting a raspberry kiss this morning, and Carol smiled, complying and getting giggles out of her sweet girl.

"Yes, it's ready. Let's get you washed up."

They all washed up for breakfast, Carol set the table with Charli's help, and she noticed how Daryl and Mika were whispering to each other by the doorframe. She knew it was about her and Daryl's relationship. She could make out her name on Daryl's lips, and Mika seemed argumentative but softly so. She didn't want to put out she could read their lips and see what they were talking about for the most part, and she remarked that they could offer a hand. Mika blushed out of embarrassment and hastily offered her help, and Daryl went to the kitchen to retrieve glasses and the pitcher of tea.

The made-up plates were place respectively in front of each person. Charli wasn't sure what to make of the eggs since they weren't something she was used to; and Carol had to chop up a tomato and make a bare minimum ketchup for her to enjoy them, and Daryl made a face at the sight of ketchup on her eggs. Carol asked if he thought it was gross, and he murmured about how Merle used to do the same thing for him when he was younger. Granted, they had no spices to flavor the eggs and they were always overcooked since Merle wasn't the best chef in the world, but hey, it brought back some memories Daryl hadn't thought about for years.

"You said you wanted to talk," Carol reminded Daryl as she bit into her toast, licking jam from the corner of her lip with the tip of her tongue and being so grateful for whoever made this for them as a welcoming gift. It was amazing, and it was clearly a specialty of the maker. She had to get strawberry and any other berry she had to offer to show Charli the many flavors of berries she hadn't known before.

"Yeah, I do." He cleared his throat and simply went for it. "I want to move in here with y'all."

Carol gaped, trying to speak but only choking like a scratched record.

"I want to be closer to the you—er, you all, and if I'm right down the hall, I'm right there for all of you. I know Charli might need a room of her own, but I can build onto the house when she's old enough. Or if Mika wants to share her bedroom. Or whatever. I just want to take the spare bedroom upstairs, so I can be here."

She laughed, a low sound in the back of her throat, escalating into a fit of fully-bellied laughter, deeply piercing the room as an almost mocking laugh when truly it was pure, blind amusement. The sheer of idea of Daryl being right down the hall tickled her pink. Did he really think that was okay right now? She was in the middle of being in love with him and trying to let him move on and he up and decided to spring this on her? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, absolutely no. She couldn't do this. She really fucking couldn't.

"I'm gonna guess that's a no," Daryl flatly commented, clicking his tongue on his teeth.

"It'd be cool," Mika shuffled her feet under the table, "to have him so near. I mean, he could help with Charli, and it'd be like we were a real family."

Charli looked from her mother to Mika then to her father and stuffed more eggs into her mouth, smearing ketchup onto her cheek. "It'd be cool," she repeated.

Carol inhaled sharply and shook her head. "Let me think about it. I have too much on my mind right now. Give me time to consider it."

"That isn't a no." Mika cheerfully smiled at Daryl, who forced a smile until she drew out a real one, and he chuckled softly, nodding in agreement to her statement. "What's on the agenda for today then?"

"I have to figure out my schedule." Carol grasped the glass of milk beside her and met his eyes. "But we have dinner plans with Nina tonight. The four of us."

"Oh, cool." Mika grinned. "I hope she make meatloaf. She makes such good meatloaf. She'll put egg in it, and it tastes so yummy. Ah, I gotta ask her to make it if it isn't too much trouble."

"It's a good shot she'll make it," Daryl replied. "She always makes it for dinners when she has guests over. I've had it about a million times."

"You eat at her place a lot?" Carol tucked hair behind her ear, trying to act causal.

"I used to, but our shifts are opposite now. We're…not exactly compatible in that way." He shifted in his chair. "You guys want any more toast? I'm gonna make myself a couple more pieces."

"Just one more, please." Mika sipped her tea. "With no jam, though."

"Carol?" He met her eyes, and she shook her head politely. "How about her? Think she'll eat another slice, or is that too much?"

"She's good, too." Carol looked over at her daughter. "Too much sweets, and she'll be hell for Rick to watch."

"Rick's got her today?" He lingered for a moment then stepped back to make the toast.

"Yeah, he wants to get to know her better. I think he's just a sucker for little kids." Carol smoothed down chestnut locks and smiled lovingly down at her daughter. "I bet he wants to know this part of his best friend."

Daryl smiled to himself and nodded. "Yeah, bet so."

They finished their breakfast, Carol spoke on Daryl having nights with Charli as they washed up the dishes, and Mika walked Charli to the Grimes' residence since it was on the way to school. Daryl didn't like the idea of having Charlotte at night. It felt like she wasn't really considering telling him move in, that this would be a permanent arrangement unlike the temporary one she was presenting it as, and his lips formed a deep frown.

"I don't want just nights with her. I want days and dinners and all of it—all the time. I don't think that's askin' too much. I've missed three to four years of her life, Carol. I love her, too, and I have a right to be in her life, regardless of our relationship."

"I know that. You do have that right, and I'm just trying to work with what you're giving me. We talked about your wall schedule, and I don't know mine just yet. It truly is a temporary solution to your need to have our daughter in your life. I promise it isn't forever."

"I don't…." He heaved a sigh. "All right."

She set a hand over his on the counter and tried to encourage him with a smile, his fingers spread so hers fell through, and he grasped them tightly. Desperately, and Carol lowered her eyes down to their hands, remembering each time their fingers had met in all different ways—soft and pure like two new lovers, desperate and needy for any contact in the middle of passionate lovemaking, and the overlapped fingers on one side when he took her from behind and wanted something soft there, something to remind them of the love they shared, and it wasn't just fucking.

She swallowed hard and tried to speak but Daryl was suddenly a lot closer, as thought he'd remembered all those times, too, and his hand moved to cup her cheek. She gasped softly and stepped back out of fear of what he was trying to do, and she swallowed, moving quickly out of the kitchen and heading out the door without looking back. She squeezed her eyes shut and kicked herself before hurrying around the corner to try and find Rick to see what she could help out with today.

She lifted her hand to her untouched lips and her fingers trembled at the memories of his lips.

Daryl looked himself over briefly in the mirror, buttoning up his favorite jean shirt and folding up the sleeves. He inhaled and combed his hair, hoping tonight wouldn't be a total mess of awkwardness and fights. He tried to settle his apprehension about it, but it wasn't so simple. Having dinner with his daughters and with Carol was the most amazing idea for dinner he could think of, but the idea of having that dinner with them and Nina felt like a blowout nightmare.

He liked Nina. He really did. He could almost say he loved her, but he wasn't quite there yet. They always had a great time together when they went hunting or just hung out with her and Mika. They were a good family unit, but not in the way everyone assumed they were when they walked around town together. He thought it was kind of people to look at him and smile like he wasn't a threat as they had went he first came into town, but he assured them Mika was like his daughter and Nina was his friend. He often had to pull them to the side to get the point across without hurting Nina's feelings, because it happened so often.

So often that he always had a wall up around her. He knew there was a time when she was interested him in romantically and that time was still current, but he never felt that way about anybody that wasn't Carol. They didn't connect like him and Carol; though they were still friends, and they had a good time together, they weren't together. Nor would they be. He thought he'd made it clear to her that they were just friends, but at how Carol approached the subject at dinner, he might want to reiterate that fact tonight. Gently, as to not ruin any good mood.

He blew out a sigh and dropped his hands to his sides, moving out of the bathroom and meeting Michonne. "What?"

"You look handsome." She smirked at him, arms crossed as she did so. "Your dinner with the girls is tonight?"

"Yeah." He walked by her and walked to the door. "But you know that."

"You may have mentioned it."

"I didn't, but Nina likely did."

"Okay, she told me. She was getting fresh food from the pantry while I was picking up some bullets for target practice with the kids." She hadn't asked what the food was for, but Nina supplied the information cheerfully and even invited them over, claiming a little bit of her Nana's stew went a long way in the best way. Michonne declined to let this dumpster fire happen as it may since Rick had thrown gasoline into Daryl's dumpster at the arrival of Nina. She knew Carol and Daryl were still in love with each other and that Nina was still in love with Daryl who likely didn't even friend-love her yet, and the kicker: that Charlotte is a Dixon. She didn't want to deal with that news bomb, so she noped right outta here.

"Well, it's just a small thing. Not somethin' to make a big deal out of." He shrugged a shoulder. "I'm gonna go try and catch the girls on the walk over to Nina's. I'll see you later tonight?"

"Yeah, have a good time tonight."

He eyed her as she chuckled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on, you have to see how this is going to be a massive—"

"—fest of fun." Rick cut his soon-to-be wife off and wrapped his arms around her waist. "We won't wait up."

He narrowed his eyes but walked out to catch up to the girls, Michonne asked Rick why he did that, and Rick kissed her cheek softly.

"We shouldn't ruin the surprise."

"You're such an asshole." She chuckled. "He's gonna get eaten alive tonight."

"I know, and it's mostly my own fault, but now it's his for not confronting Nina sooner. It's out of our hands."

"That's a twisted way of thinking." She stepped out of his arms. "Thank God you had no siblings growing up."

"Hey, that's hurtful."

"Good." She headed upstairs to check on her children and sent a smile back down to her soon-to-be husband before falling out of sight.

Daryl had managed to catch up to the girls as they walked over to Nina's, Charli insisted on holding his hand, and Mika grasped his arm to talk to him. Charli was too distracted by how quiet her mom was, and Daryl noticed that, too. It was mostly a chatty Mika with a spit-bubble blowing three-year-old and two awkward adults.

Carol had worn a dress for this evening, her long cardigan keeping the cool night air at bay, and she felt the urge to adjust the knife in her boot, but she didn't want to trip Charli up. She wasn't used to wearing dresses now that she wasn't too pregnant for pants, and it felt silly to be doing any of this now that the world was in this sickened shape. Silly but lovely at the same time.

Charlotte didn't understand the weird shoes that clicked each step she took, but she liked how they weren't thin enough to feel the bumpy rocks on her feet. She liked the clicking and the weird smell of them and the cute little flowers on the side. She had showed them off to everybody, and she hoped she never outgrew them, because they were lovely and amazing and pretty _. Like the dress Mommy had picked out_ , she realized and looked over at her mom, grinning and letting go of her dad's hand to request to be picked up for proper huggins.

Mika had gone with a skirt and leggings over a full-on dress, and she wore the shirt Daryl had found for her a long time ago. She wore it only once before at Judy's birthday and at a wedding, but that was it. It was a big moment type of shirt, and she knew tonight was a big moment, so boom. She was ready for it.

Carol reached the door first and knocked, adjusting her daughter on her hip, and Daryl set a hand on Charlotte's back, his thumb brushing Carol's hand. They glanced at each other, she offered a smile, and he weakly returned it. Neither one wanted to admit how much electricity that one touch ignited in both of them. They had been apart for more than they were together—that was a fact—however, it didn't matter. They had known each other for a short while, but their souls and hearts were lifelong mates, and it was starting to show—to bleed out of them—and it burned.

"Hey." A giant grin greeted the four of them, and Nina stepped aside to show them in. She grasped Daryl's arm to squeeze it consolingly, and he pulled out a dry smile of thanks. She rubbed his arm then and showed them into the living room where drinks were already made up.

"Please, make yourselves at home." She laced her fingers together in front of her stomach. "Seriously—my home is your home tonight and any other way of the week. Help yourself to the drinks and the dip. I'm gonna check dinner. If you'll excuse me."

Charli instantly went for the dip, dropping a finger into the oddly shaped homemade bread bowl and sampling the dip. Her lips puckered up, drew back and formed a frown as she dropped her hand and moved along to climb onto the couch.

"Guess that means she doesn't like it." Mika looked to Carol, and Carol nodded. "I'll give it a shot."

"It's dip. Ain't a walker." Daryl dropped down onto the couch and helped himself to the dip in a less pokey way than Charlotte had done. It was a spinach dip with some of Morgan's herbal cheese, and it was pretty good, though the faint taste of some type of spice did leave something to be desired. Likely the reason why Charlotte puckered her lips. It was a kick. A donkey kick to the taste buds. It was kinda nice the longer it sat there. "Mmm."

"Okay, lemme try it." Mika sat beside him and tried it for herself, going through the face journey as Daryl, and Carol giggled at the sight of them. "It's weird…but that aftertaste is kinda awesome."

"It's my grandpa's favorite dip." Nina emerged from the kitchen with a Kiss The Cook apron on, and it was clearly handmade. It was very well done. Carol like the stitch work. She was probably the only one to even notice, but she noticed a lot of things most people didn't.

"Oh?" Carol crossed her arms. "I've gotten three reactions from it, so it must be something."

"So was my grandpa." She laughed softly. "Please, have a seat. Take a load off. After being stuck out there…you need all the R and R you can get."

"I wasn't stuck out there," Carol corrected, her tone a bit harsh, but she honesty didn't care. "I was at home with my dear friend and child. Not all places out there are harsh, Nina."

She nodded. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. You…must miss it."

Mika lowered her eyes and held her breathe for Carol's answer.

"I do miss it, but I'd miss my daughter more." She looked over at Mika and smiled lovingly at her. "I'm sure I'll see it again, but for now, I'm here. We're all here."

"I'm hungry," Charli commented, curling up over the back of the sofa. "I don't like that dip. It's gross."

"Ouch, harsh." Nina was teasing, and Charli giggled at the dramatic arm gestures she made like she'd been shot like Charli's words. "Dinner is about ready, but if you come and help me with dessert, you can have some of the leftover chocolate chips."

Charli frowned. "The what?"

Nina looked at Carol. "She's never had chocolate chips?"

"No." Carol was noticeably closer to Nina now. "You have chocolate? How?"

"I…um, grew some in my garden. I grew up on a farm, so I know how to tend to plants, and I found some seeds a while back when I went out with Daryl. I kept it hidden in case it wouldn't grow, but it did. I harvested a batch a few months ago, but it sold out in the pantry. I have my own stash." Nina chuckled awkwardly at Carol being even closer to her know. "A big fan of chocolate, eh?"

"A little." Carol shrugged it off but only earned a chuckle from Daryl and Nina both, causing pink to stain across her cheeks, and she cleared her throat. "I'd love to help with dessert."

"Oh, no. It's going to be a surprise now." She had strained herself over making the batches of chocolate for the people of Alexandria, and now she had the chance to wow Daryl's best girl—or so people have told her. Namely Michonne. It was a little annoying, but that was jealousy speaking. Daryl could so have other friends, and it wasn't like they were together. Nina and Daryl or Carol and Daryl, so it was fine. It was really fine. Even if she was super jealous of someone else being called "Daryl's best girl".

"I still want some." Charli was beside Nina now, taking a hold of her hand with both of hers and tugging on it. "Please?"

"Of course. Let's go finish dessert." She paused. "Carol, do you want to give her her first piece of chocolate?"

"Yeah, actually, I'd like to see her face." See if they had the same love of chocolate.

"Then I'll be right back."

When Nina returned with a handful of poorly shaped chocolate kisses, Charlotte held out her hand for one, and Nina passed the extras around. All eyes landed on the small, round face with sparkling sapphire eyes. The moment the chocolate touched her tongue, she gasped and smacked her hands over her mouth tightly to keep the taste there forever. Sadly, the yummy lump dissolved in her mouth and left her wanting more.

She jumped over to her mom and grasped her wrist, pouting. "Mommy, that was really, really, really good."

"And I bet you really, really, really want mine, eh?" Carol crouched down. "I'll share with you."

She beamed at her mommy and kissed her cheek, hugging her. "Thank you, Mommy."

"I love you more than chocolate." She kissed her freckled notes and split the candy in "half" and popped her into her mouth real quick before Charli could get wise.

Nina's heart tugged, and she set a hand on her chest. "Gosh, you two are so precious. I can't wait to have moments like that with my own kids."

Carol flinched at the mention of her own kids and swallowed hard. She knew those kids were ones she wanted to have with Daryl, and that stung more than it should have. She still loved him, so what else was there to do with that knowledge than ache?

"Dinner's about ready, so why don't we talk for a bit? I'd love to get to know you better." Nina sat down in between Mika and Daryl, crossing her legs and looking to Carol for information.

Daryl shifted uncomfortably at the way Nina's skirt hiked at her sitting, and she didn't adjust it, so he stood up and caught Charli before she got too bored and began to roam the house without permission. He hauled her up and held her close, hearing her softly grip Daddy in his ear. He smiled at her and tucked hair behind her ear.

"You're so good with kids." Nina pushed her skirt to smooth the material over her thighs towards her knees. "It's a wonder you haven't had any of your own."

Carol cut a look to Daryl, one that Nina did notice this time, and she shook her head. "I'm going to use the bathroom."

"Wait, Mommy, me too." Charli pushed lightly once on Daddy's shoulder, and he set her down. She caught up to her mom and grasped her hand.

The air in the room filled instantly with tension, Daryl offered to help set the table, and Nina tried to break the tension up as best she could. Mika finished up the dessert with Nina, and they had the table nice and ready for the return of Carol and Charli. Nina couldn't help but bit her lip at a burning question lingering on her tongue.

In the bathroom, Carol flushed the toilet and sat down on the edge of the tub while Charlotte scrubbed her hands clean, singing the song she'd made up when she was about two. It wasn't too awful, and she sounded so adorable singing it, even now. Carol hoped to never hear the end of the Washy, Washy Song.

" _Wash your hands and wash your nose, wash your little baby toes. Scrub, rub dub, scrub rub dud. Wash your hair and wash your bare then wash your teeth and floss them well. Or the bogeyman will tell._ " She then whispered into the sink, " _Mommy_ " since it didn't rhythm with the rest of the song.

"All right now let's dry those little hands." Carol held out a washcloth, and Charli hurried over to be dried. "Good girl."

"I like Nina." She met her mother's eyes and smiled. "She's nice."

"She is nice."

"She likes Daddy." Sapphire eyes narrowed disapprovingly. "I don't like that."

"Oh? And how do you know she likes Daddy?"

"I can kinda tell. It's hard to explain, but you get it." She paused and whispered. "You get it, right, Mommy?"

She chuckled. "Yes, baby, I get it." She kissed her brow. "Don't worry about Nina, okay? You are Daddy's number one girl."

"I am?" Her eyes rounded.

"Yes."

She grinned happily, slapping her hands down on her mom's thighs and pushing herself up enough to kick the air behind her. "Cool." She set herself down and composed herself. "I hope dinner's good."

"Me, too, kiddo." She held her out her hand, and Charli accepted it.

They rejoined the party, Nina announced that dinner was ready, and Daryl stepped out of the dining room with blood on his shirt. Charlotte and Carol both gasped in with panic, Carol dropped her hand and tried to reach him, but Charlotte went for him like a hawk on the hunt.

"Daddy!" She ran over to him and jumped up, he instantly picked her up and asked what was wrong, and she looked him over, remembering when Mommy had the red on her blouse. "No!"

"Hey, hey, easy." He stroked her hair to sooth her. "It's all right."

"But the blood," Carol marched over to him and set a hand on his hip, feeling it wasn't quiet blood. She frowned and lifted his shirt up, he squirmed somewhat, but he was clean of cuts. "What…?"

"It's not mine. It's from the roast. I … I threw out the baggie it came in and got some blood on me. It's okay." Though it would stain.

"Oh, thank God." She exhaled and smiled at him. "You had me so worried. I thought…."

"I know. I'm okay." He reached out and gripped her elbow supportively. "I'm good."

"That's great and everything, really," Nina remarked, "but what the hell is going on? Daddy? What?"

"He's my daddy, that's what's going on," Charli replied with a glare. "Don't use that word."

"I—I'm sorry, honey." Her eyes cut to Carol and Daryl. "So… Wow. I'm an idiot." Her eyes filled with tears, laughter escaping from her throat, and she crossed her arms protectively over herself. "Jesus."

"Nina, please let me explain." Carol stepped towards her.

"Don't you think it's a little late for that?" She moved away, shuddering, mouth ajar in shock and self-loathing at her own stupidity. "I… I've only known you for a small time, but I thought you were honest. I thought I could trust you, but it's my own fault for being such a bleeding heart, isn't it? I made assumptions about who you were, and you let me. You… you both let me. You played me."

"I didn't play you." Carol tried to reach out to hurt, but Nina glowered at the gesture and backed her off with it. "I meant what I said to you."

"But you failed to mention that Daryl—the man you knew I…care for—is the biological father to your daughter. The daughter we spent hours talking about, avoiding the subject of the father, because you didn't feel comfortable talking about him!"

"I didn't!" Carol snapped. "You love him, Nina. How could I sit and talk about that? With you, of all people? He's the man I had my beloved daughter with, the man I shared everything with for months, the man I gave myself entirely to! I can't even go there by myself, so don't expect me to feel guilty for not going there with you."

Nina swallowed. "Then why didn't you just tell me instead of letting me go on and on about him? About what I wanted with him? About all of it? God, I trusted you so much."

"That isn't my fault."

"I know it isn't. It's mine. It's all my fault, because I thought people like us…were the same, but no. You are a viper, and you make me sick." She snuffled and cut a look to Daryl. "And you."

"What about me?" Daryl adjusted his daughter in his arms and tried not to make an ass of himself. He knew she was hurting, especially after Carol outed her love for him. He didn't want to be here, but he had to. The record needed to be straightened.

"I thought…. We weren't on the same page, were we?" She searched his confused eyes. "Do you even remember what happened between us? All those months ago? When we started this relationship?"

"What relationship? We're friends, sure, but that's it." He looked at his daughter and the woman he loved. "Carol's the only woman I want more with, Nina. I'm sorry if we got that mixed up, but that's the truth."

She whimpered and brought her hands up to her temple, pushing back the skin there and shuddering. She stumbled back and met his eyes, dropping her hands to demand, "What was that kiss then?"

"Kiss?" Carol felt ice replace the warmth his words invited.

"What kiss? We've never kissed before."

"Yes, we did. It was a couple weeks after you arrived in town. We had just come out of the party, and we were talking and joking around. You kissed me." She could see him reaching to the back of his memory to recall what she was talking about. "You told me about Merle and about your childhood. You told me so much, and you…. We kissed. Right outside my house. I invited you inside, but you looked upset, so you said no and left."

He knew then what she was talking about. He woke up in his shower the next morning, a bottle of gin beside him and no pants. He had no idea how he'd ended up in such a sorry state, but Michonne told him she'd locked him in his bathroom until he stopped crying and yelling. Apparently, he'd been vocal about Rick exiling Carol and cussed him out for about two hours, even hitting him a couple of times, and Michonne broke it up. He went on to sob about Carol and cuss Rick out then the bathroom lock down. It was an awful hangover, and Michonne threw up on him when he approached. He threw up in her throw up, and Rick had a black eye and puke everywhere. At least Michonne's came with good news. Daryl's came with a lecture and a good scolding.

"Oh, fuck." He exhaled and recalled a dream bout kissing Carol and holding her close to himself. That wasn't a dream. That'd been Nina! Fuck! He didn't mean to act on what he felt for someone else with her. Son of a bitch. Her behavior made so much sense to him now. He always thought she was a little clingy to him, and now he knew why. He knew of her feelings, but now he knew there was a reason behind them. God damn it.

"Oh, no." Nina read in his eyes her fears and covered her mouth. He thought he was with Carol. He loved Carol the way she loved him, only it was real. They were together. They were lovers. They had made a form with their love, and it was this special little girl Nina had wanted to help raise and get to know. It was forever proof that Daryl would always belong to someone else. Charlotte was a wall between any future Daryl and Nina might have had, and Carol was the cement that kept that wall standing. She was never going to get through. Even for the moment she believed she had, it was Carol he saw, not her. It was never her. "No, no, no."

"I'm so sorry."

"Get out." She balled her hands up into fists and dropped them to her sides. "Just get… get out of my house!"

"Nina." Mika tried to approach her, but she moved out of reach. "Please?"

"Get out of my house."


	11. Crawl Out Through The Fallout

 

Carol tucked Mika and Charlotte into bed that night after making dinner for them all. She changed into a t-shirt and long, loose pants, sitting downstairs with Daryl. She inhaled deeply and ran a hand down her face, lifting her eyes to meet his, and he tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. He could only look at her mutely, and she could only do the same.

\--- --- ---

Beth walked across the street and jogged over to the door, hearing the joyful noise of little kids playing and laughing, and she knocked on the door. She only waited about a minute before Rick opened the door and smiled a greeting at her.

“Hey. I wondered when you’d be by.” He moved aside to let her inside the house. “Aaron’s daughter is over here to play with the kids, but you can still see Judith.”

“That’s fine by me. I’d love to meet RJ.” She smiled widely at him. “I knew there was something special about you and Michonne. I just didn’t know what it was exactly at the time.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, guess love finds all us when we don’t expect it.”

“That’s very true.” She entered the house and saw Gracie and RJ playing with a train set, supervised by Michonne, and she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by love at the sight of the children. She knew she would be surrounded by them one day, but she didn’t know how. She thought maybe they would be her own, but now she wasn’t so sure that would happen, so it was good to see it still happened without her. It warmed her soul.

“Judy.” Rick called out towards the stairs, knowing she was upstairs with Carl, and he waited for a minute before she came to the top of the stairs. “C’mere.” He climbed up them to help her down, and she accepted his aid, looking at the woman at the door. “This is an old friend of yours.”

“I know.” She smiled at Beth and walked over to her once her dad put her on the ground. She looked her over thoroughly. “Your hair got short.”

“Oh, yeah?” She grasped the short locks and chuckled, kneeling down to be at level with the girl. She looked so like Lori with those big brown eyes and dark locks, the shared pale skin of her brother and mother riddled with freckles from the afternoon sun. She was lovely, the perfect image of Lori, a living memoriam of the woman. Only stronger, alert eyes, and Beth would bet money she had a spot to hide should the walls crumble or danger arrive. She was a survivor, and Beth was glad for it. “It did.  You…you remember my long hair?”

“Of course.” She grinned proudly. “I dreamed about you. I just didn’t know who you were until Mommy told me.”

Her eyes stung at those words, and she returned that grin. “I used to take care of you like you were my own.”

“I know. Mommy told me that, too.” She stepped closer and grasped her cheeks, little fingers brushing over the scar on her cheek, and she frowned. “Are you okay?”

“I’m gettin’ there.”

\--- ­­---

Carol exhaled deeply over her cup of coffee, seeing the clock read after ten in the morning, and Daryl confirmed the time with a sun dial sitting outside. She almost laughed when he told her how he knew the time so confidently, and now they were in the front room—Carol sitting on the stairs and Daryl on the floor by the door, legs up. They hadn’t spoken since the dinner, and they drifted off in the living room a few hours ago, but now it was time to speak. To come clean. It was the perfect time for it.

“I think we need to talk.” Daryl looked over at her. “Look, about my kissin’ Nina—it isn’t what you think.”

“Then what was it?” She lifted her eyes from her cup of coffee. “An accident?”

“Yeah, sorta.” He knocked his knees together once then set the cup down to the right of himself. “I was drunk. Hell, I didn’t even know it was real until last night. I thought I was dreamin’, thought I was kissin’ you, but… it wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t you. I’m sorry. I don’t feel any way about Nina other than friendly. You’re the only person I…”

“The only person you what?” She shifted on the step and drank from her cup to avoid the tremble burning through her body.

“You know exactly what.” He climbed to his feet and marched over to the steps, grasping the cup gently from her hands and leaning down to kiss her.

“Wait.” She squirmed away, setting a hand on his chest. “Please, wait.”

“I’ve waited three years, please don’t ask me keep waitin’.” He bumped his forehead against hers, eyes still shut, lashes fluttering. “I love you.”

She smiled and grasped the back of his neck. “I still love you, too.” She moistened her lips and tried to keep from crying. “But there’s so much here.”

“What do you mean?” He dared to open his eyes.

“We’ve both changed. This love hasn’t, but we have, and I need to know that we’re still able to be together as a couple. We have a child—two children now. This is no longer about us. It’s about them, and I can’t be with you if I think for even a second, we’ll become too involved in our romantic relationship. We have to put them first.” She stroked the back of his neck with her thumbs. “I’d love to let you kiss me and take me upstairs to my bedroom. I’d love to be with you in every possible way until we have no energy left, but I can’t do that.”

He pulled away, nodding somberly, eyes glistening with moisture, with agony. “Yeah.”

“I’m not saying never, Daryl. I’m only saying not yet.” She searched his eyes. “I do still love you, so please, give me time.”

“Give you time.” He scoffed and stepped back. “I’ve given you four years of “what ifs” and “maybes” and “God pleases”, and here you are. It’s better than anythin’ I coulda come up with ‘cause we got a daughter. We got two of ‘em, and all you want to do is keep space between us. See, that isn’t love. That’s fear.”

“I have a right to be afraid.”

“Of what?” he demanded. “Of me?”

“No, of course not you.” She stood up to try and draw him back to her, but he wouldn’t let her come any closer. “I just need time to consider the pros and cons. You have to agree that’s the smart thing to do here. I don’t know you anymore. I mean what I said when we first spoke. Time has changed us both as people, and I don’t know who time has made you. I want to find out as friends. I want to explore a new level of intimacy with you now before we jump back into bed together. I don’t want the instant gratification. I want…. I want love and a family. I want all I never had with Ed and more than we had at the prison. I want real.”

“What we had was real,” he corrected. “We—we loved each other. It wasn’t shackin’ up in the A block for kicks and screams. It was us and it was real. It was lovin’.”

“I know it was, but all I’m saying is let’s get to know who we are now. Let’s start over instead of continuing with the childish thought that we are who we were. Do you get that?”

He exhaled and groaned. “Back to square one then? I can’t even hold you? Or kiss you? When that’s all I wanna do?” He searched her eyes now. “I’m dyin’ to be with you again—and no, I don’t mean sex. I mean holding your hand, kissin’ you, talkin’ to you like we used to. The sharin’ and the closeness. I miss you. You’re right in front of me, but I miss you.”

“You miss a dead relationship, and I mean that in a good way. We can build a new—a better relationship with the girls and with each other. I’m not saying we have to lose anything. I hope we gain something. I truly do, because I love you and miss you so much, too. It isn’t just one-sided, trust me.”

He reached out and caressed her cheek. “Let me move in here. I’ll take the spare bedroom, and we can start over.”

“I can’t.” She closed her eyes, a tear falling free. “I just can’t trust myself to not fall back on old habits.”

“Carol, please—”

“Don’t make me say yes, because you’re guilting me into it.” Lachrymose eyes met his, and she shuddered. “Just give me time. A couple weeks at the most. I need to….build up a resistance to you before you can move in. I want to take this slow, so please, bear with me.”

He nodded. “Couple weeks?”

“Give or take.”

“Only take.” He smiled a little. “Only take. You ain’t gonna be able to keep me out come two weeks, so build fast.”

“Yes, sir.” She laughed softly, and he chuckled, lowering his hand. “God, I missed you.” She closed the space between them and embraced him tightly, his arms locking around her shoulders instantly. She felt his nose in her hair and she smiled against his breast, burying her face here in his chest. He smelled of coffee and home, and she longed to kiss him, to savor him and to take him upstairs and relive every moment in A block.

She knew she couldn’t, but it was tempting. Which was the whole point of the next couple of weeks. She had to drive the temptation out of herself. They had to move slow and steady, because they had two girls to worry about now. They were parents to a three- and thirteen-year-old who would be put first no matter what occurred among Carol and Daryl and their relationship. They had to be adults about it now, driven by love and thought and sense. Not the lust-driven, horny teenage mess they mostly were at the prison. Adult love with adult responsibilities. It made for a beautiful and lengthy relationship, or so she hoped.

“Heeeyyy.” Mika was grinning like a total idiot at the top of the stairs. “Good morning.”

Carol inhaled deeply one final time and released Daryl. “Good morning. Do you want breakfast?”

“I can make something for everyone, so you two can stay and talk and hug.” She padded down the steps and giggled at Daryl. “Maybe kiss.”

“Would you just scoot on?” Daryl playfully shoved her towards the kitchen, blushing like he had went Merle caught him checking on one girl or another. “Jesus H.”

She laughed even harder and scurried to the kitchen, peeking back at them more than once. “Don’t mind me! I’m cooking. Oh, look, eggs. Yummy.”

“That girl.” Carol shook her head and tucked hair behind her ears. “I should go and help her. Do you want to stay for breakfast?”

“I can’t. I got the wall in twenty minutes.” He picked up his coffee cup. “I’ll be by for dinner, though. We can talk some more.”

“I’d like that. We can talk about that family picnic.” She hugged her arms to her chest and grinned at him. “Bring the kiddos along with us.”

“Yeah, our kids, the Grimes kids, Beth, Noah, Hersh.” He nodded and caught her grin on his lips. “I’ll see you tonight. Maybe you could speak to Ty. He could always use more teachers.”

“I think I’m better suited on the wall.” She shrugged a shoulder. “You can’t love me, and force protect me, Daryl. We talked about this.”

“I know. It was really just a suggestion.”

He departed from the house with laughter in his steps, and Carol joined her daughter in the kitchen, asking on how Charlotte was doing. Mika informed of her the dead sleeper, and they shared a laugh. They prepared breakfast and readied themselves for the day. It had been a rough night, but it wouldn’t spill into the morning. Too much laughter for that to ever happen.

\--- ---

Beth departed from the Grimes’ house hold, her hair braided back after RJ kept trying to play with it, and she jogged over to her house with Maggie and Glenn. They weren’t at home right now. Glenn had patrol with Denise, and Maggie was speaking with Tara about some King coming to town soon to speak to them about treaties. It was going to go well for them. She was sure of it.

She entered the house. “Noah!” She waited for only a moment before he ran down the stairs and to her instantly to see what was wrong. She chuckled and grasped his cheek, kissing him deeply, catching him off guard.

“What’s going on?” He caught her elbows and demanded once she’d stopped kissing him, though her lips met his once more—deeper than before, harder. He tried to fight her, to see what was going on, but he knew nothing was wrong. The more she kissed him, the more the world faded away, and the more sense didn’t seem so important.

“I feel alive,” she murmured against his lips. “Kiss me.”

“Beth.” He caught her hips and pulled her closer to him, initiating the kiss this time, and he found she still tasted of sweetness. He longed for such a joy, and he devoured every ounce she had to offer. He knew this wasn’t a good time, but he lost himself to her. As he always had, because he loved her. He had loved her for years, and he would love her for many more should she let him.

Beth unbuttoned her blouse and let it fall down her shoulders, leaving her in only a white lace bra Maggie had given her, and she broke the kiss to gasp for air. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her forehead against his. “Take me upstairs, please.”

He rubbed his thumb across her lip. “Say you love me first.”

She chuckled and grinned at him like sunshine and summer flowers, awakening every nerve ending in his body and reminding him of every good thing to live for. “I love you, Noah.”

With that, they went upstairs to her bedroom, locking the door behind them and stumbling over to her bed. Beth landed on her behind, crawling backwards and kicking off her boots and jeans on the way, leaving her in only her underclothes. She helped Noah down to just his, and their mouth met again and again until the world had left them, and they were all the other knew.

It wasn’t the first time they had made love. It wasn’t the second or third either. They had been friends and loves for over two years, and they found peace in each other. It was the only goodness they had to enjoy while trapped in Grady, and they were punished for it. They still snuck away at night or in the middle of events to savor each other. To be free from Grady and its illness for only moments.

It wasn’t intentional. Their first winter with the power out, they shared a bed. Most of the men who wanted Beth assumed Noah was gay or scared to not touch her, but after the third night of being so close and of sharing warmth and secrets, it just turned from friendly to needy to sex for the first time for both of them. It was awkward and clumsy, as Beth hardly knew about sex, and Noah had been told by his mother to wait until he was married. They both feared it would ruin their relationship, but as they figured out what felt good and how coming together as one made the world a little better, they knew it only added to the amazing relationship they already had.

Luckily Noah was in charge of laundry, so any mess they made was tended to by him the next day, and they were able to keep their activities secret for a good four or five months. But eventually they were caught by Dawn when she noticed Beth had vanished during the morning community service. She beat them both and told them they didn’t belong to anybody but her. She ordered them to separate and moved Noah to an entirely different floor. They still found each other and ways around her stupid rules. It was the only haven that allowed them to escape Grady mentally. It was somewhere in the middle of that escape they found love and acceptance; they found family in each other, and it saved them time and time again.

If they had the other to return to, the beatings didn’t matter. As long as Beth or Noah could tend to the other’s fresh wounds and listen to stories and laugh at awkward moments it was worth it. They weren’t afraid as long as they were together, and together they would stay, no matter what time or Dawn or the world brought.

\--- --- ---

“And the walkers gonna come by like “rawr, rawr,” Charli walked like a walker towards Judith, “and then you come in with the knife and stop it, okay?”

She nodded. “I won’t actually stab you, though, right?”

“No, ‘course not. It’s not a real knife, not like my mommy’s, but it’s just for practice.” She cleared her throat. “Okay. You ready?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“RJ?” She looked over at her friend, and he bobbed his head in agreement to his sister. “Cool. Let’s practice!”

Walker RJ and Charlotte came in from both corners of the room at Judith, Judith listened to their little “rawr, rawr, rawr” then ran after RJ. She tackled him to the ground and poked him with the tip of the plastic knife. He complained that it hurt, and she giggled.

“Rawrrr.” Charolette chomped down onto Judith’s arm, and Judith groaned like it actually hurt him, and Charlotte shook her head. “You lose.”

“Nuts.” She handed over the knife and pretended to fall over head, sticking her tongue out and flinging her arms above her head. ”Bleck.”

“But don’t forgot—since I bit you, you turn.” Charlotte reminded her.

“Aaaahhhh.” Judith exhaled deeply and rose up without using her hands, eyes snapping out, and she flung herself forward, crawling toward Charlotte now that she had the knife was the new human to be eaten. “Aaaahhhh.”

Charli giggled and moved back from. “So creepy.” She jumped back and gripped the plastic knife. “Sounds like before.”

“What do you mean?” Judith stopped crawling and sat up. “Like before?”

“Walker don’t speak, remember?” She put her hands on her hips. “But I’ll tell you ‘cause I like you.”

“I like you, too, so I’ll listen.” She nudged her brother, who hopped up and sat to listen.

“Well, one when I was smaller…Mommy and I were caught by walkers.” She could remember her mommy screaming her name as she ran through the house, not caring about attracting more walkers. Denise wasn’t in the house at the time. Mommy said she was on a supply run, so it was just the two of them. They were trapped inside the house by walkers, and Mommy grabbed her from her room and hid in a vent. “They roamed all in the house and all through the room Mommy and I were in. I cried… a lot, put us in danger, and Mommy…. Mommy had to leave me.”

“Nu-uh.” RJ gasped.

“Why?” Judith didn’t believe it. “I mean, no way, but why?”

“To save us.”

Carol had to leave Charlotte alone in the vent, covering it with a blanket to keep the walkers away and forcing her to be alone in the dark. She locked the door just in case and lured the walkers away from the grove by noise. She slaughtered as many as she could, and blessedly Denise was on her way home. They worked together to clear a path back to the grove, and Charlotte was wailing. Two years old and pounding on the vent for her mommy, for Denise, scared of the darkness and the suffocating heat. It was truly a mother’s worse nightmare—forced to abandon their baby to save that baby and themselves. It was a one-time occurrence, but it stuck with them both.

“But she came back.” Judith played her hands on the ground in front of her and spread her legs, scratching her ankles on the rug. “I know she did.”

“’Course. My mommy always comes back.” She grinned and jumped down to wrap her arms around Judith’s neck. “Just like your mommy will always come back.”

“Yeah, they’re just made like that,” RJ confirmed.

“Yeah.” Charli wrapped an arm around his shoulder and giggled. “Let’s play again!”

“Okay, but let’s be better!” Judith hopped up. “I’m gonna be the best survivor.”

“Me, too.” Charli thrust the plastic knife into the air like a torch. “The bestest!”

“Leave room for me, too,” RJ complained.

They giggled and reset the game, Judith peered out from her hiding spot at Charlie in amazement and hoped to have more adventures with her as they grew up, and man, she couldn’t wait to grow up and be in the world beside Charli and RJ. It was going to be one heck of a world, that was for sure. Their world, their future—to build and restore.


	12. So The King Doth Come

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Carol stared out the window as the morning sun greeted her and Charlotte and Mika. They had all stayed up late and played together, watching a couple movies with some popped corn. It was a great girls' night, and Carol was able to sleep only a few hours before she was roused by the sun, as she was every morning. She just couldn't move with her little girl curled up over her ribs, and Mika using her ankles like a pillow. She was uncomfortable, but she felt warm and loved, so that was something.

There was a knock on the door, Charli buried her face even more in Carol's ribs, and Mika shot straight up with drool on her cheek. Carol snorted a laugh and invited the person inside. It was two people—Daryl and Denise.

"Aww." Denise climbed onto the bed and stroked Charli's hair. "She is so precious."

"Tell that to my poor aching ribs," Carol mused, ruffling Charli's hair enough to make her fuss and groan.

"Mommy, stop."

"Never." She slowly sat up, Charli slid down to her lap, and Carol laughed as she curled up there, not caring as long as she could get more shut eye. "Such a Daddy's girl."

"Hey, I worked hard to get that level of lazy," Daryl jested, moving to the edge of the bed and smirking at Mika's wild hair. "Nice hair."

"Thank you. I slept hard to get this look." She smirked and rubbed at her eye, moaning sleepily. "What gives? Why are you over here so early?"

"King Ezekiel is coming today, and Rick wants to show him we're a thriving community. He wants all the kids to be on the entrance block with our members of the community. We're signing agreement treaties for trade and protection," Denise explained. "So we have a few hours to show him we're worth protecting and trading with."

"Oh, good. I thought it was something serious." Carol moistened her lips. "Let me put on my best dress."

"Might as well."

So, after a round of showers and Daryl helping Charli with his first bath, which was super cute. Carol was drying off and doing up her hair, and she peeked in on him trying to figure out what to help her with. She handed him a loofah and the shampoo and conditioner, and Denise asked if he needed a hand through the other door. It was so cute, and Carol told him to calm down and not get soap in her eyes. He nodded and tried not to peek at her when she let her towel drop to change. She was in the other room, but he could still hear it. My God, she had to be torturing him.

"Daddy, scrub." Charli was leaning over the edge of the tub, head presented to be scrub with shampoo. "Gently."

"Right. Sorry." He carefully massaged soap into her hair, not as roughly as he'd done with his own hair, and he rinsed it out with the frog bucket Nina had included in the welcome basket. He lingered on her for only a moment then conditioned his daughter's baby fine locks, watching the look of enjoy on her face as he massaged in the fruity lather.

"Sleepy." She wanted to go back to bed, but she knew that wasn't possible. She was up, and Mommy was up, so they weren't going to go back down until Mommy said so. She didn't think that would be any time soon. Especially with King E-whoever coming.

"You'll get a nap in later," he promised. "You and me both."

"Yay. You're the best, Daddy."

He smiled proudly to himself and finished with her hair, he helped her scrub down her arms and legs and back. He made a soapy smile on her belly, and she loved it. He laughed with her and didn't want this time to end, but Carol called in to check on them. He told her they were almost done and rinsed her off, grabbing the soft towel from its hanging rod.

"C'mere."

She stood up and held her arm up, he wrapped her up in the towel and lifted her up and out of the tub, and he moved wet hair out of her face.

"All clean." She gripped his shoulders. "Right?"

"Not all clean. We have to brush those teeth." Carol stood in the doorway, wearing the same dress from their not-dinner with Nina. "You wanna monitor that, too?"

"Might as well."

"Look who's trying for Dad of the year." Scarlet lips formed a line. "I'm happy."

"I'm happy, too," he admitted, holding his daughter close. "Thank you."

"Why? I think we both were there to make her." She grinned and turned to get Charlotte's outfit ready, spotting Denise lingering by the window. "Hey, I haven't seen you in a minute. How are you adjusting?"

She smiled to the left of her mouth. "Adjusting? Hmm, I think I'm getting there, but I dunno. Part of me misses the grove, misses it just being the three of us."

"Yeah, I get that feeling, too," she admitted. "Now and then."

She inhaled deeply. "But there are people here I do enjoy."

"Ooh, pray tell," Carol teased.

"Heh heh, never."

"Never say never to me," Carol reminded her. "I'll get who out of you."

"I bet so, but for now, you have a little one to get ready."

After brushing teeth and changing Charlotte into weather appropriate clothes—a knit sweater, jeans and Judy's boots—and joined Rick. Daryl hung back with Denise and Tara to let Carol have a word with Rick about them being there. She understood what he wanted, but this felt a bit forced.

Unfortunately, the gates opened by the time Carol reached Rick, so there was no time for a talk. A group of men entered Alexandria followed by a glorious tiger that made Carol nearly tense, but it was well manners by how it glided in through the gate. It was a gut-feeling, but she still cut a look back at her loves to ensure it was all right, that a plan to run should this go South, and he nodded, adjusting how he held Charlotte.

Then came the King himself, and Carol shifted beside Rick, sizing the man up, and he looked over at her, offering a charming smile. Rick and Carol exchanged a look, Rick nodded to Eugene to close the gate, and the king sauntered over to Carol and Rick, giving an extravagant bow as a way of greeting. Carol couldn't but help chortle, and Rick offered the same bow as a sign of respect.

"Ezekiel—"

"King," Ezekiel corrected lightly. "King Ezekiel."

"Right, King Ezekiel, welcome to Alexandria." Rick swept an arm across town. "These are some of my people, who wanted to come and greet you. The others have duties they're tendin' to, but you can meet them if you want."

"What a lovely complement to this town." He continued to smile and turned it to Carol. "Very lovely."

She offered a smile. "Welcome, and yes, this is a lovely town, especially for raising children and crops—raising a future." She looked back to Judith and Grace and RJ and Charlotte, who all stood back with their mother and fathers. "Isn't that what this is truly about? Coming together and raising up our communities?"

"That's exactly right." He grinned at her. "I'd like you to meet my right hand, Jerry, and this is my Shiva."

"Hello." Jerry flashed a winning smile at her, and Carol felt like he was holding back the soul of a gleeful child, and she returned his smile.

Shiva ran her eyes over the people of the town with curiosity and a raised guard, but nothing said she was going to attack. Simply observe.

Ezekiel continued, "I trust you'll be accompanying us, I hope…?"

"Carol." She held her hand out for a handshake, but he instead placed a delicate kiss to the top of her hand.

"Lovely name for a lovely lady." He released her hand. "I look forward to getting to know more of you."

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but I have my own duties to attend to this morning." She crossed her arms over her chest. "And I don't have anybody to watch my—"

"Mommy!" Charlotte was suddenly beside her, grasping her leg through her dress and sending a glare up to Ezekiel, who was still flashing a charming grin at her mother. "Up."

Carol couldn't help but chuckle airily at her daughter, scooping her up into her arms, and Charlotte firmly wrapped her little arms around her mother's shoulders as though to claim her. Carol had a feeling this possessiveness came from her father, and she had a feeling he, too, would be coming to make his mark on her.

"Whoa, big kitty." She gripped her mommy tighter, afraid of the massive beast.

"Hey, it's okay. Shiva is a good kitty, right?" She turned to Ezekiel, and he nodded. "See?"

"Shiva, here," he gently coaxed, and the tiger strolled over to them, passing him by and twisting around Carol like a cat would. "She's just seizing you out."

"Mommy." Charli's grip tightened, but the tiger didn't make any move to attach, simply sniffed her boot and lifted golden eyes up to the child, almost nodding before returning to the King's side.

"Good girl." Ezekiel patted her head and turned the grin to the young girl. "See? She's a friend."

"Yours, maybe," Charlotte griped lowly.

He chuckled. "Well, she's a beautiful little girl you have. She favors you."

She couldn't fight the smirk. "She looks like her father, really, but thank you." She tucked loose hair behind her daughter's ear and kissed her cheek to try and tame the jealousy brimming behind those sapphire eyes. "Charlotte, meet King Ezekiel."

"Ezekiel, please," he corrected her, giving a sweeping bow to the young lady. "At your service, Princess Charlotte, surely Little Lady of Alexandria."

 _Wow_. Carol couldn't believe this man was real, and she hid laughter behind her daughter's wavy hairs, looking back at Michonne with wide eyes. Michonne shrugged a shoulder as though to tell he to simply go with it, and Carol nodded, forcing back the laughter.

Charlotte giggled at his storybook tone. "I'm not a princess."

"Ah, surely one day you shall be." He righted himself and saw a man was now with them, his eyes seeing similarities in the child in the man, and he knew that was the father. But at how Carol shifted her shoulder uneasily, they weren't currently together. Her body language confirmed as much. "And you would be?"

"Daryl." He offered a smile as a way of greeting to the man, though his teeth were clenched behind those tight lips, and he set a hand on his daughter's head. "Just came for my daughter. She slipped away from me."

"I'll bet she did," Carol murmured.

"I didn't mean to take your wife and child from you. Forgive me." He arched a brow and waited.

"I'm not his wife." Carol turned towards Daryl. "And I've got Charli, but I do have duties today, so I'll drop her off at the Grimes'."

"I can do that." He smoothed his hand down her hairs to her back, but Carol stepped back to put space between them. "Or I could walk Mika to class."

"That would be great. She does need help with her exam. You are better suited to help her." She reached out and lightly patted his chest. "I'll see you later, okay? I have to go."

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to see town through the eyes of its youth," Ezekiel commented. "A mother and a child safely growing in a town is rare to see, and I'd like to experience that before I agree to anything. If it isn't too much trouble."

"Of course, it isn't." Rick cleared his throat. "The one making the negotiations—Maggie Rhee—is also a mother. She can show you the town."

"Ahh, but Carol and I already have a rapport." He mused, "Humor me. I'd love to meet this Mrs. Rhee, but later. I'll leave her for the paperwork. Carol and Charlotte are for the tour. I think they'll show me some interesting parts of town."

"I'm pretty new to Alexandria," Carol informed him. "You're better off having Maggie or Rick escort you around town."

"That's even better. We're in the same boat, and I hope to see this town as you've come to known it in your first few weeks or days." He set a hand on the small of her back, fingertips very lightly touching the fabric of her dress, and Carol didn't tense like she prepared herself to. "Jerry and I would love to follow your tour, my lady."

"Okay." Carol inhaled deeply. "Let's start with Charli's pick. Hmm. Where to first, honey?"

She pursed her lips and whispered into her mom's ear, cupping her hand so only she could hear it.

"The lake would be perfect. Follow me, please."

Daryl and Rick watched them drifted off into town, Mika crossed her arms and met Daryl's eyes with a questioning brow, and he nodded before heading off to his own job for the morning. He knew Nina likely wouldn't be in class today, so he'd have to explain why Mika wasn't in class to Tyreese.

He swiped a thumb under his nose and hoped Nina was doing all right. He should have been blatantly frank from the beginning of their friendship. He knew she had feelings for him, and he said and did nothing about it. He thought if he didn't acknowledge it, she'd take the hint and back off. That was Merle's way of doing things, and he should have known that wasn't the proper way to handle it. She was young and optimistic, always making a brighter side, and he should have known better. He knew better with Carol, but he loved her and actively looked for signs that something might be wrong. He didn't know he had to do that with Nina, because he didn't need to do that with Tara or Michonne. Though one was a lesbian and the other was with his best friend.

He groaned softly under his breath. Speaking of Carol and reading signs, he knew that pompous ass had his eye on her. He gave a grand show of his title and put the charm on both his woman and his daughter. Sure, Carol wasn't technically his woman, and he had no claim on her regardless, but she was the woman he loved, the woman who was the mother of their child. This man had no right to look at her and try and flirt with her—which was what he was bound to be doing this "tour" of the town. The mere thought scratched along his skin like claws of burning jealousy, and he wanted to be Mika—to keep an eye on them and ensure it kept friendly—but he had to watch the wall for a bit.

He relieved Johnson and sat down, running his hands through his hair and looking out when every inch of him wanted to be looking in. He wanted to know if Carol was maybe interested in this King. Sure, she had admitted to still being in love with him, but that didn't mean she couldn't feel attraction to someone else, especially someone as fancy and formal as that jackass.

Sure, he was going to bring in trade and protection to their city, but that didn't mean King wasn't going to try and take more. He knew Carol couldn't be bought by flashy smiles and a gloriously cool-ass tiger, but she was still on the fence about their relationship. It worried him that someone else could swoop in and steal her. She was a beautiful—hell, a gorgeous woman with an amazing personality, and some people felt compelled to be around her by her general aura. It couldn't be helped, and fancy man king seemed to have the same energy about him. He worried that might cause a connection. That was all it took—one moment, one spark—and a connection was formed with her, and he would never leave town.

He puffed up his cheeks with air and released it with such force his lips trembled. He didn't want to be on the outside looking again ever again with her, but he might be if he didn't do something to show fancy man king that Carol wasn't up for grabs. She was working out their relationship, so they could start again, and he had no foot to slip into any door to try and make it a more difficult decision for her. He knew Carol wouldn't act on anything the king had to offer, but he worried. So many people had been taken from him, and he couldn't—could fucking not—bear for her to be another one—again. He had no right to try and mark her as his, but he had a every god damn right to show Fancy Ass King that she wasn't some prize to be won. Somehow.

He looked around and realized there was no way he could be the one to physically show him this, but he hoped Mika was able to do it for him. They were on the same wave length after all this time, so he hoped she got this, because someone needed to cut apart any flirting he threw at Carol, and it couldn't be on the shoulders of their three-year-old. Although Charli would willingly do it. She didn't like Zeke any more than he did. But he couldn't be that kind of father, even from this great distance. He considered it, but he already used her as a pawn when he let her run to Carol, so no. No, no. He'd…use Mika like a responsible adult. She was of her own free will and wanted to do this for her family, so it wasn't like he was really using her. After all, she couldn't read his mind to know his plan.

Across town Carol and Charlotte were giving Shiva, Jerry and King Ezekiel a tour of the town. Mika had joined them after announcing class had been cancelled until Ty's class at noon. Carol felt guilt course through her but forced it back. It wasn't her fault. At the end of the day, the blame rested at Nina's feet for building a relationship off assumptions and one kiss one time when they were both drinking. She was young, and it was somewhat understandable, but Carol wouldn't carry blame around. She just wouldn't. She had enough of her own to worry about.

"These are our crop fields." Mika gestured to the rows of slightly dying from the cool air crops. "We're working more on preserving for the winter, rationing."

"That's a good idea." His eyes betrayed how unimpressed he was with their crops. "If everything goes well in the negations, we'll be able to supply you all with more preserves. Some salted meats, too."

"That would be lovely." Carol set a hand on his arm and smiled flirtatiously at him. "We'd really appreciate any support you have to offer. We'll be all too happy to repay you with guns or ammo, whatever you need."

He cleared his throat awkward and nodded. "O—of course."

Carol cut a look to Mika when he turned his back on them and smirked, Mika's head tilted with confusion as her brows met then she gasped in understanding and caught Zeke's attention. He asked what was wrong, and she excitedly mentioned their flower patch with eatable flowers that was thriving from the weather changes oddly enough.

They continued on with the tour, Carol flirted lightly with the King, and the King returned it strongly. Jerry had to shake his head and kept Shiva close—or as close as she wanted to come. It was mostly an uneventful trip through the town; some children were highly interested in Shiva, and the King soothed her as the children rushed her. She growled in warning, and Carol told them to get back. The only child Shiva really was okay being around was Charlotte. She kept those golden eyes on the child, watching her while she walked ahead or behind them, and she circled her at one point.

"Hey, hey." Carol went to grab the collar on Shiva's neck, but Ezekiel caught her wrist and stopped her. "If that….beast bites or hurts my daughter, it won't live to be outside these gates ,and this deal will be off." She was hissing.

"She's been fed for the morning," he assured her. "She isn't hunting either. She seems… Well, I'm not sure. I've never seen her like this before. Just watch. I know she won't hurt the child."

"You better be damn sure."

"I am."

Carol turned back to her daughter, who was now giggling as the tiger's long tail brushed under her chin, and Shiva circled one last time before sitting in front of her, bowing her head enough for pets. Carol looked on in wonderment as Shiva allowed Charli to stroke her mane and snout and even tug on her ear lightly.

"It seems your daughter has a tiger's soul," Ezekiel laughed heartfully. "One Shiva has recognized."

"I—I guess." She smiled softly at the precious sight before her. "Is she like this with you?"

"Sometimes." He smiled down at them. People often forgot that the soul of a cat, big or small, demanded loyalty and respect—and those ear scratches, too. He never let himself forgive that while Shiva could be dangerous and had killed man before, she was almost a softie for the right soul. It would seem he had some competition with her now. How lovely. He oughta to get to know this little girl better. Perhaps learn her secrets.

"We're hosting a fall festival in the Kingdom," he told Carol. "Hilltop is coming, and I'd love for you both to attend. Obviously, the whole of Alexandria is invited to attend, but I'd like to personally invite you both."

"A festival?" Carol inquired. "Like a fair? An actual fair?"

"Yes, that's exactly what it's like. We'll have games, prizes and food stalls—the works." He smiled at her. "I'd love for you to accompany me."

She smiled softly at him. "I'd love to attend the fair with my daughters and you, but I am involved."

"Are you sure about that?" He wasn't pushing, only curious.

"I'm very sure." She set a hand on his arm. "But I'm flattered."

"Then it's my loss. Lucky man who has your heart and you his." He inhaled deeply. "I should meet with Maggie Rhee to discuss the arrangements of the treaties. Escort me there?"

"I'd love to." She saw Mika had given Charli a piggy back ride towards town hall, and Carol accepted Zeke's offered arm. "So, tell me more about this fair."

They discussed the fair on the walk over to town hall, Mika and Charlotte dipped out to get to class and to drop Charli off with Judith and RJ and the appointed babysitter, and Daryl was coming off the wall, spotting Carol and Ezekiel walking arm in arm. He tried to approach them to ask how the tour had gone, maybe break an arm or two of the King's, but Rick intercepted and sent him to his place to watch the kids since Michonne had to help Nina out for something or another, and Daryl asked if Nina was all right.

"A little swollen in the eyes, but she's okay." He searched his brother's eyes. "Why? Did something happen that should have made her upset?"

"Yeah, we….kinda had it out last night," he confessed. "Carol and I have a past, and she didn't know about Charli, and it all came out. Figured she'd be real upset. I… I want to apologize to her, but it ain't the time, is it?"

"No, it ain't the time." He shook his head. "You didn't tell her about Charli? Why not?"

"Because I didn't know how to handle it myself, and when I did, I wanted more time with her. Nina wasn't a thought in my mind. Only my daughter. You gotta get that, even if you judge me for it."

"I ain't one to judge, but… you should apologize later. When the time is right, and hopefully you'll know when that is, 'cause only you can know that." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I have to meet up with Maggie and Ezekiel and Jesus, but we can talk more about this later, if you want."

"Yeah, sure." He paused then grabbed Rick's shoulder. "Make sure he ain't…gettin' to Carol."

He smirked. "Getting to her how?"

"Flirtin' and shit, man, you know what I meant. Just make sure she's all right, and he ain't asked her out or anything."

Rick snorted a laugh. "I'll make sure he hasn't put the moves on Carol."

"Thanks, asshole."

"You're the asshole. Have you seen Nina today? She look awful. You should have told her sooner."

"And you shouldn't have tried to set us up."

"I shouldn't have, but you should have made it known there was nothing between you two."

"We could do this all day—just go and make sure she's all right."

"You know, you're mildly possessive. We oughta talk about that, too."

"You lose as much shit as I have, see how possessive you get," he retorted, and Rick lose his smirk. "She's the most important person to me, man. I love her more than anythin', and I gotta prove that we're still good together, that we deserve a second chance. And my kid? Fuck, man, I gotta do everythin' I can to give her a good life."

He nodded and hesitated. "You don't have to prove anythin' to her, Daryl. I've seen how she looks at you. She knows y'all are good together. She just needs time."

"It's been four years just about. How much more time does she need?"

"Four days? Four weeks? Who knows?" He shrugged a shoulder. "She'll let you know when she's ready, just be patient. And let her handle men who flirt with her, all right? She's…a damn force of nature. Nobody will to do anything to her that she doesn't want them to do, and you should know that."

He exhaled. "Hard to see logic, but I do know that."

"Good then go watch our kids." He chuckled. "And I'm a little hurt that I'm not the most important person to you. I said we were brothers."

"Shut the fuck up, man," he laughed, hands on his hips, and he shook his head while Rick walked off. He drew air in deeply and headed out to keep an eye on his nosy little girl, hoping that this thing with Nina blew over quickly. He didn't want to be an asshole about it, but he didn't get where she was coming from, kiss or no, but she was young, and he'd been there himself, though he'd been young, desperate and drunk. She may be two out of three, so he could relate—from a distant. He didn't want to blur the lines again.

The plans with King Ezekiel went well, only a few additions were made to the original contract, and they were in business. A shipment of fresh jarred veggies would be brought over within the week, and Rick made a trade for guns and ammo, and they were all invited to the fair the Kingdom was hosting in a couple weeks. No trade needed.

Carol and Daryl had dinner that night with the girls, and Carol as embarrassed by Mika telling Daryl every single line Ezekiel used on her, and Charlotte was giggling at her Dad's reaction. It was such a family dinner, and Carol loved it. She wanted many more, and it was becoming difficult to tell Daryl to leave once the night was over. She wasn't sure she could keep him away for much longer, and she decided to share that news with him. He didn't know what it meant exactly, and neither did she, but it was good news.

Bright and early Carol departed from the house, leaving Mika a note to babysit should they rouse before Carol returned, and she headed to the pantry for some fresh jam and possibly some eggs if that wasn't too much trouble. Milk was a bit harder to get a hold of, but Eugene was trying to speed up the cleaning process. Among other things.

Carol found a couple jars of zucchini and cumbers and helped herself to them, knowing she only had one more item on her list to get. As she drew closer to the jams, she came face-to-face with Nina, who was fingering the strawberry jam.

"Nina."

Empty eyes landed on Carol's face, and she looked down at the list Carol held. She chuckled bitterly and snatched the last of the blackberry jam and leaving without another word.

Carol didn't know what she expected, but that hadn't been it. "Oh, well, strawberry's just as good." She did want Charli to experience more fruits and veggies, so even if Nina was being hateful, it still worked out in the end. She just hoped a less childish relationship could be worked out with Nina, because honestly, this would be exhausting.


	13. Let The Walls Come Down

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Beth rolled over, seeing Noah asleep beside her, and she smiled softly, shifting to be lying partly on top of him, and she brushed the tips of her fingers over his cheekbone, a soft rousing groan escaping through his full lips, and she grinned, adjusting her leg across his waist.

"Hey, you." She searched his chocolate eyes. "Good morning."

"Good morning." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, returning her grin and accepting her kiss. "It's good to wake up to you."

"Yeah, it is." She traced his lips with her fingertips and giggled lightly. "I'm glad I got caught. It was worth it to have met you."

"I wish we coulda met when the world was still whole, so I could've met Hershel and Annette. Shawn."

She swallowed hard. "Daddy woulda been hell on you. He was hard on Glenn, and Mags wasn't even the baby of the family."

"I could've won him over."

"I bet you could've." She snuggled closer to him. "He would've loved you."

"You think?"

"I know, because I love you so much. I'd make him see, and he'd love you." She rested her head on his chest. "You are home to me, Noah, and I know it's been rough adjusting, but please, I need you to try."

He exhaled deeply and stroked her hair. "I've been doing better. I'm trying."

"I know you are." She closed her eyes. "And I'm proud of you. You're so strong. I know you'll survive this world. We both will, and we'll build a future worth preserving. It's already starting here."

"Yeah, it is." He looked down at her. "Do you remember what we used to talk about?"

"At the hospital?" She nodded. They had talked about what they would do if they were free, how they would still be together should their families settle in different locations, and how they would always find some way back to each other. It was the only good part of being trapped in that hell. The beautiful daydreams and the closeness. They were all each other had and having sex, being one, felt like some sort of sense in the darkness. It was rocky, at first, since it was Beth's first, and his first, but it was comfortable now. It was teasing and laughing and loving, and she was glad to have it. They both were. It was their haven. It always would be. "Of course."

"Do you still want that?" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "With me, I mean."

She rose up on her elbow to meet his eyes and stared. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

"Oh, my God, Noah." She tackled him into a hug and kissed him, and he was trapped in a mess of sheets, skin and blonde hair. She laughed blissfully and kissed him deeper, parting his lips with her tongue, and she pushed her hair from her face, savoring the taste of him as she slowly rolled her hips—

"Hey, Noah, have you seen—?"

"Holy Jesus!"

Beth and Noah both tensed at the sound of two voices in the doorway. Beth slowly sat back and looked over her shoulder at Denise and Tara, who had briefly knocked before entering, and Noah sat up to look over Beth at the two women. It was an uncomfortable scene for everyone, but thankfully, it wasn't Maggie or Glenn who had found them, because that would be a hot ass mess.

"Did you find them?" Maggie inquired as she drew close to the women who stared into Noah's bedroom with jaws on the floor. "What—? Beth Faith Greene!"

"Maggie!" She turned to face Noah and covered her face with her hands. "Maggie's here."

"Yeah, I can see that." He was mortified now. Naked and still semi-arouse with three other women in the room, and one of them was the overprotective big sister of his love who didn't know they were together. Well, mostly sleeping together, but sort of together now since he just asked. Sorta of asked, anyway. "Can everyone leave my room, so we can get dressed?"

"Oh, y'all better dress fast," Maggie demanded then slammed the door shut. "I'm countin'!"

Beth rolled her eyes and looked for her bra. It didn't take long for her to get dressed, though she dreaded the conversation Maggie wanted to have with her, so she lingered as Noah dressed and even then they both lingered for a couple minutes after that. It wasn't like they weren't both adults. It wasn't like there wasn't consent. It was ridiculous for them to be so nervous, so Beth laced her fingers through his, and they walked out to face Maggie like the adults they were.

Maggie turned around once the door opened and released the breath she'd been holding. "Hey."

"Hi." Beth could see Denise and Tara in the kitchen, and she hoped they weren't going to try and make this worse. She didn't know if they set up any house rules with Noah, but it wasn't like they weren't having sex. Or would somewhere down the line. "Look, Mags, before you get started, I just want to start by sayin' I'm an adult now. I'm not the seventeen-year-old at the prison anymore. I'm nearly twenty-one, and Noah and I are the same age, so don't lecture us. We don't need it."

"I'm not here to lecture you." She folded her arms over her chest. "I was going to. I had a long one all planned out with scolds and glowers, but then I remembered you are a woman now. It's your body. You can do what you want with it. And I might not have known Noah for a long while, but I can see he cares about you, so let me just say: if you hurt my sister, I'll kick your ass. Glenn will kick your ass. Then I'll kick it again for our Daddy. Do you understand me? You treat her right. You treat yourself right, because it isn't just about you anymore. You've entered into a relationship with my baby sister, and I will hold you accountable for any pain you inadvertently cause her, so don't, all right? Just don't. Because I don't want to hate you, but I will if you hurt her—in any way."

"I won't." He gripped her hand tighter. "I would never hurt Beth. I love her. I didn't realize how much until recently, until I had nothing, and she was there for me even then. I want to be there for her in every possible way she'll have me. This relationship saved my life, so of course I'll respect it—respect her."

She nodded. "I'd hug you, but you understand why I'm not."

Beth laughed. "We can save the hug for later."

"Actually, I need your help arranging travel to the Kingdom for the fair, and I thought you'd like to help me with that. Am I right?"

"I'd love to help. Let me just shower and change, and I'll meet you in your office in twenty minutes."

"Sounds like a plan." She smiled a goodbye and headed out, looking back once to see them kiss goodbye, and she smiled to herself, glad to know Beth had found something good and real while in Grady. She inhaled the cool air and headed to her office.

Inside Beth was tempted to finish up their morning mood before three people interrupted, but she had to meet Maggie, and she didn't want to make her wait. It wasn't polite. So, she kissed him once more and headed out to shower, leaving him and his two non-parents.

"So, can we come out now?" Tara called into the living room.

"Yeah, you can come out now." He rubbed the back of his neck and prepared himself for anything they had to say to him. "Good morning."

"I'll bet it was." Tara smirked. "You two are adorable, by the way. I thought maybe there was something between you two, but I didn't want to pry."

He blushed and chuckled under his breath. "Thanks for that."

"We're here for you, if you ever have any trouble in your relationship with Beth," Denise offered. "I'm a therapist, and I'm a good read on people. If you ever had any trouble, you know where I am is all I'm saying."

"I appreciate that, but Beth and I are pretty solid."

She nodded. "Why don't you go and get showered? Abraham said he wanted to speak with you about helping with construction."

"Oh, awesome." He laughed happily and thanked then before going upstairs to shower and change to face the day.

"He's so cute. Can we keep him?" Tara mused, turning her smile to Denise. "Pretty please?"

"Tara." She was laughing nevertheless. "We cannot adopt a fully-grown man, and we're not…like, a couple or anything."

"I don't know. I think we'd make a good couple." She wasn't teasing this time; chocolate eyes focused on Denise's round face. "But it could just be the whole opposites attract thing."

Denise chuckled awkwardly before mustering up all her courage to ask, "Do you want to go to the fair with me? As my date, I mean."

Tara blushed now, pink staining across her cheeks and burning along her neck. She hadn't been very serious about the dating thing, but she couldn't deny an attraction to her. She just didn't think Denise would come out and ask her out, especially to the fair. But hell fucking yes, she wanted to go with her. "Yeah, I'd like to be your date."

She grinned. "Cool beans."

Tara snorted a laugh, and Denise's eyes widened in horror as she hadn't meant to say that out loud. "Cool beans," Tara confirmed and headed out to take over the wall for the afternoon shift. "I'll see you for dinner?"

"Yeah, for dinner." She nodded and bit her bottom lip to contain her excitement for the fair and their first date. She hadn't been on a date in years, and she really liked Tara. She was fun to be around, and she reminded Denise that there was more to life than worrying about walkers and trying to remember every little thing she learned before switching majors. It was a relief and a blessing to find her in this world, just like it was to find Carol, only this meant more in other ways, and she hoped this date went well. She cared for Tara so much already, so she truly hoped this date went well, because she planned on having Tara in her life for a long time.

\---

"How is he doing?" Enid asked Michonne, shifting her weight nervously back and forth on her legs, fingers laced tightly together in front of her.

"He has his ups and downs. It's difficult to gauge what mood you'll get when you see him, but you can tell more and more by how he speaks." It broke her heart to see Carl struggling so much with the loss of his eyesight. She tried to make him see the good aspects of it, but he was drowning in all the bad. She knew he would come out of it. She just hoped it didn't take too long for him to see the light, because it was agonizing to watch him suffer. "Or it could just be me."

"Maybe so." She inhaled deeply and stopped her movements. "Do you think I can see him now? I mean, he isn't still sleeping, is she?"

Carl had been sleeping more and more lately. Denise said it was a mild form of depression at the loss of his eye, and he would come out of it once he accepted his situation and stop dwelling on what he lost and thought more on what he still had. It was difficult. He was still a young man, and he had so much going for him, but it was just one more thing he'd lost. It had surely brought up all he'd lost over the years, and it wasn't helping him wade through the dog of depression. It had a strong claim on him, but should he overcome it, he would arrive a much stronger and healthier person. He just had to make it to that point.

"He might be, but why don't you go and check? I'll bring up some food for him in a bit."

"Thank you."

Drawing air into the depths of her lungs and bringing up her courage, Enid climbed the stairs to Carl's bedroom and knocked lightly. She waited only a moment before opening the door and going inside to find him awake on his bed, staring at the picture of himself, his father and his birth mother. He didn't look over at her when she entered, but he lowered the picture to the blanket.

"Hey, Carl." She entered the room and offered a smile, but he didn't look her way.

"Hey," he numbly replied, still eyeing the picture of his former family. "Do you ever think about all you've lost and who it's made you?"

"Sometimes, but I find dwelling doesn't make anything better—feelings or present circumstances." She gripped her wrist with her fingertips, moving closer to his bed and trying to catch his attention. "Hey, why don't we go outside? Get some fresh air."

"Not like there isn't air in here."

She frowned. "Okay, well… Why are you thinking about this? About what you've lost? You have so much, Carl. You oughta to focus on that."

"I tried, but…it just comes back to what I've lost, and it's difficult to go there and not stay there. It just keeps coming back to my mom, my friends, people I considered friends…. They're all dead, and I'm still here."

"Yeah, you are." She sat on the edge of his bed and set her hand on his wrist to get his attention, a blue eye met her face, and she smiled warmly at him. "You're here because of the people who aren't. The people who get to live on inside of you. Every breath you take, you take with them. I know it can feel like a burden, like a weight on your chest more, but you'll find one day it's easier to breathe. It's easier to walk and talk and think of the future, because it's yours."

"They don't breathe with me—they're dead, Enid. They stopped breathing a long time ago."

"You know what I meant. People who die never really leave us. I know it can seem like it, as thought we're entirely alone with their ghosts haunting us, but you don't have to see it like that. They wouldn't want you to, and trust me, it's taken me years to come to this conclusion, but it's the truth. People die and leave us—but only if we let them leave us."

He inhaled deeply and slowly nodded his head in agreement. "You have a point there."

She slipped her hand down to grasp his hand. "I'm here for you, Carl. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I do. Thank you." He squeezed her hand affectionately, stroking her palm with his thumb. "I appreciate it."

She grinned and asked, "Will you be my date to the fair? I hear there's going to be loads of games and prizes and food. It sounds like something from before, to be honest, and I'd love to live that with you, so be my date? Please?"

He shook his head. "I don't think I'm ready to be around so many people. Not yet."

"Carl…please? For me?"

"I don't like fairs. I never really have. It's just clowns and rigged games." He pulled his hand from hers and set the picture on the nightstand beside him. "Besides my parents are going, and I might have to babysit RJ or Judith."

"No, they're both attending the fair with your parents. I asked to be sure you wouldn't be babysitting." She heaved a sigh and met his eye. "Do you even want to date me anymore? I mean, we hardly speak. We haven't gone on a date since you were injured. You always make it seem like such a hassle to speak to me, so maybe we should just call it."

He lowered his eye and gulped. "Enid—"

"Don't speak until you're going to argue with me about how you want to be involved with me."

"I was shot! I lost part of myself, and I need time to adjust to that! Hell, I thought I'd dead somewhere in the process of being shot, and it just burned. It felt like fucking flames all over my body, but it was just…. And I'm trying to cope with that, but I can't!"

"Then speak to me! Or Denise! She can help you. She's a therapist. She knows things. I'm sure she'd leave to help you. You just need to give people a chance again. You need to leave this room and get some air. You're only going to send yourself into a darker depression wallowing in here like you are." She huffed and stood up. "I can't sit by and watch you wither away before my eyes, so can you please—just please—consider talking to Denise?"

"You think I like being this way?" He demanded, lifting his head to glower at her. "I hate that I'm in this headspace. I hate that I can't leave, or when I do, I'm constantly reminded of reasons why I should still be there? I haven't healed from it—mentally or physically. I still flinch when I hear a lot bang! It isn't easy to recover. It's only been a few days. What do you expect from me? To just jump back from this? Like some—some God or something?"

"No, of course not. I only expect you to put as much effort into your recovery as you did into living before this happened, and you're just not. You're wallowing. You need to get outside and do the physical therapy. You need to… to exercise your body and your mind and recover on all levels." Her chest heaved up and down as she passionately went off on him. "You have to start right now, because if you don't start soon, you never will. That darkness will win out, and there's nothing…. There's no real escape from it. Trust me, I know. I've lost, too."

"JSS, right?" His lips pressed together and formed a line as his teeth sank down onto them, and he expelled a sigh. "How do I survive this?"

"You…have to figure that out on your own, but there's plenty of people ready to help you." She smiled thoughtfully. "Me, your mom, your dad. Hell, even Judy and RJ want to help you. Denise does, too, by the way, so…give her a shot. For my sake, please."

He inhaled deeply. "Maybe later. Right now…my eye hurts. I need my medicine and a nap." He peeked at her. "Want to lie with me? Until I fall asleep?"

She chuckled and nodded. "I'd love to."

He took a couple painkillers Denise had left for him, pulling the blankets back for Enid, and they curled up under the thin blanket. Enid faced him and studied his face, and he did the same silently. They listened to each other's breathing until it even out and the pair drifted off, dreaming of a day at the fair and of laughter and better days. Perhaps the walls he'd built could come down enough to enjoy a day as a kid again. Maybe.

\---

Carol folded a few shirts over, minding the hangers, and she carried them outside to the car, watching Mika and Charli playing in the backseat. She smiled to herself and checked the street for any movement. She closed the truck when the last of it was pushed in, and she shivered at a cold breeze rolling over her.

She looked over at him and offered a smile, turning to face him, foot propped up slight from the turn. "So, you ready for this?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."

"Good." She closed the space between then and locked her eyes him before placing a brief kiss to his lips. She was okay to move away, but he caught her hips and pulled her right up against him. Before she could speak, his lips crushed against hers, and the world melted away as his lips conformed to hers, parting and tongues meeting.

A moan passed through her lips, her fingers gripping his jacket tightly, and he could have taken it so much further, but he knew she didn't want that. Logic wasn't in the air right now, but he forced himself to pull away. She had only meant this to be a short kiss, and he made it into more. He wouldn't and couldn't take it further. His daughter was playing with his other daughter in the backseat of a car, and they were bound to be staring right now.

Carol eyes flitted open, and she pressed her lips together before cocking her head to the side. "There's no need to worry about any man, King or no, coming between us, okay? I don't like jealousy on you."

"Hard not to be jealous when you walk arm in arm with a stranger."

"But I'm not letting a stranger move in with me—I'm letting you move in with me." She smiled softly at him. "He…was charming and attractive, but that's for someone who needs a fairytale. All I need is what I already have here."

He nodded. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She set a hand on his chest and heard giggling. "We have some explaining to do."

"Nah, just let 'em guess." He chuckled, and she laughed with him, turning to see two girls staring out the back window at them. He offered a wave, they waved back and ducked behind the seat, giggling loudly, and Carol couldn't help but join them. "Got a lotta girls on my hands. What am I gonna do?"

"Oh, I don't know. Love us?"

"That's an easy order. I already do." He wrapped his arms around her firmly and rested his forehead on hers. "C'mon, let's go home."

She nodded. "Watch the hands, Dixon. I'm not that kind of girl. We aren't together, kiss or no. I still… need some time."

"It's okay. I get to be right down the hall. I can wait for some time." He released her. "But if you ever wanna prove me wrong about a guy, I ain't opposed to it."

"Oh, I'll bet not." She chuckled and walked around to the driver's side of the car. "Let's get home before its start snowing."

"It ain't that cold, but you're right." He walked by the pair of giggling girls and opened the driver's side door. "Get these girls to bed. They don't sound right."

"No, they don't. It could be a cold. I might have to whip up some beet and carrot juice to help with it."

"Oh, no! Mommy, no!" Charlotte cried, having had to drink it before when she was sick. "Mean Mommy!"

"That sounds so gross. Please don't make us drink it...Mom." Mika shook her head, trying not to laugh.

"Don't sound so iffy on Mom. I am your mom, and you can call that any time you want." She sat down in the passenger seat, looking back at her daughters. "You are as much my family and my daughter as Charlotte. There is no difference—expect you have blonde hair and your father's nose."

She beamed at Carol, tears in her eyes, and she slipped through the space between the seats to embrace her tightly. "Thank you, Mom."

Daryl rubbed her back. "And if you want, you can call me Dad. I'm still adjustin' to it, but I like hearin' it, especially from the two that mean the most to me in the world."

Mika snuffled and hugged him next. "I'd be happy to call you dad, Daryl."

Charli pursed her lips and huffed. "I want a hug!"

Mika sat back and hugged her little sister tightly. "Is this good?"

"Yes." She snuggled closer into the hug. "I'm sleepy. Can we go home?"

"Yeah, we're on our way there now." Carol closed the door and flicked on the heat. It wasn't a long ride, but it had to be late September by now. It was nearly Charlotte's fourth birthday. Carol might call it the same day as the fair, because it was likely close to it. She didn't have the exact date, clearly given that the world had ended, but Charlotte was growing more and more in various ways—her vocabulary, her behavior, her body features. She was become more and more of a four-year-old, so she was close to that birth date. They could use the fair as a celebration for her birth. It would be perfect.

They unpacked Daryl's items, taking them into the room for Charlotte since she mostly slept with Mika anyway—Mika, or Carol—and it tuckered Charli right out. Mika carried her to their bedroom, and they both passed out on the bed. Carol stayed up to help Daryl clear out his clothes and spare bolts, seeing a set of arrows and a bow among them, and Daryl commented how he'd made it by hand for no real reason.

"You were just bored and crafted a bow?"

He hesitated. "I was okay, and yeah, I made the bow."

"With no one in mind to give it to?"

"It… was for Nina's birthday. When it gets colder, it's her birthday. She's a December birthday, so I was going to give it to her." He glanced at her. "Guess I can't do that anymore."

"No, but you could teach me." She tugged on the string lightly. "I'd love to have a silent weapon."

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we can start lessons tomorrow. I'm free. Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm free." She set the bow down, leaning it against the wall and closing the space between them, sitting down on his bed while he folded jeans and placed them into the drawers. "Hey."

"Hey." It was a laugh of a word, and he turned, amused, to face her. "What's up?"

"Ezekiel invited us to the fair, you know." She studied his face and asked, "Do you want to go with me? As my date?"

"D—date?" He nearly dropped the shirt he'd picked up. "Like…we're in a relationship again?"

"Like a first date to the start of our relationship," she confirmed. "We'll start being an us—an intimate us—after then. I am a lady. I expect at least two dates before we have sex."

He smirked. "I remember the last time you told me you were a lady."

"Don't even mention that to me. I haven't gotten laid in almost four years, and temptation is only worsening every second we're alone with two girls asleep down the hall." She stood up and moved towards the door. "You wanna make breakfast in the morning?"

"Sure." He paused. "So, you do want me as much as I want you."

"Of course." She smiled at him. "I'll see you in the morning, Daryl."

"Yeah, 'night." He tucked the shirt into the drawer and smiled happily to himself.

\--- 

Carol heard hurried feet in the hall, her door flew open, and in the dim light of the morning, she found Daryl in her room. Charlotte, who had likely snuck into his room at late night, was in his arms, covered in blood and breathing shallowly, her little body still and limp against his body, and panic filled his eyes.


	14. Red Alert

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Carol shot up from the bed and rushed over to her daughter and Daryl, checking her pulse to ensure she hadn't somehow dead and was a walker. Her heart stopped as blue eyes ran over her delicate face, seeing blood had poured from her nose and possibly her eyes, cloaking her entire face with thick, sticky, dried blood. Trembling fingers brushed her small neck, finding a strong pulse there. Carol exhaled as Charlotte wheezed, eyelids fluttering as she began to rouse.

"Mmm…."

"Fuck." Daryl adjusted his grip on her in case she was about to reanimate. "Fuck."

"It's all right. She's all right." Carol smiled with relief. "It's just allergies."

"Allergies? How the fuck is this just allergies?" he demanded. "She's bled all over herself."

"It's a nasal hemorrhage." She headed to her bathroom and twisted on the water until it was warm, returning to him and her bedroom to see him relaxing as he held her close, her sleepy moans lessening as her eyes fluttered open.

"Mommy?" She rubbed her eye. "Daddy?"

"Hey, sweetie." She bent down and touched her hair tenderly. "You had a nose bleed in your sleep, so Mommy's gonna run you a bath, okay?"

She curled up in Daryl's arms. "Tastes like rust…."

"I'll bet." She kissed her forehead and moved around them to find the pouch of herbs Denise made to help clear her sinuses and make her feel refreshed. She motioned for Daryl to follow her and dropped one of the pantyhose pouches into the tub. She watched the water slowly turned into a milky blue pool. "All right. Undress her."

"What?" Daryl looked up from trying to gently scrape blood from her chin, but it wasn't working. "Oh, yeah."

Carol accepted her bloodied nightshirt and pajama bottoms, setting them aside to deal with the bloodied little girl. She removed her nightshirt, Daryl instantly tensed as she tugged her sweatpants loose and shimmied out of them, and she held her arms out, dressed in only her underwear and a tank top.

Daryl hand her over, and Carol stepped into the tub with Charlotte in her arms, sitting down and wetting a washrag, placing it over her face, telling her to inhale. Daryl knelt down beside the tub and picked up a spare washcloth to scrub it off her arms and fingers carefully, and together they cleaned her up and cleared her sinuses up. Charlotte moaned sleepily in the warmth bath, the scent of rose petals filling her nose now, and Daryl ran his fingers through her wet hair.

"She sleeps just like you." Carol caught his fingers in Charlotte's wavy locks. "Grab a towel."

"Hang on." He grabbed a towel from the basket and accepted Charlotte's limp body from Carol, wrapping her up like a burrito, carrying her into Carol's bedroom to dry her off. He wasn't sure if he was being gentle enough, but she didn't rouse, so he assumed he was doing a good job.

"You can just toss one of my old shirts on her." Carol walked out of the bathroom, now damp from the bath, drying her hair and remembering one good reason for keeping it short all these years since Ed was killed.

"Jesus, woman." He focused on drying Charlotte even more now. "You tryin' to kill me?"

She chuckled. "I hadn't thought about how I looked, but no, I wasn't trying to kill you." She paused. "Thank you, though."

He smirked and set Charli down on the mattress, where she began to worm towards the pillows, and he chuckled, remembering a time when Carol used to do that. He dug out a t-shirt from the dresser and worked her into while she wormed, and she coiled up in the center of the bed.

As he dressed their daughter, Carol changed into a set of nightclothes, and they met up at the end of her bed. Carol chuckled awkwardly for the both of them, Daryl anted to hang around to be sure Charli would be okay, and Carol agreed it was okay for him to stay the night in her bed. It was big enough for the three of them, and it was a dream of Carol's to do this—child, mother and father, curled up in bed on a sleepy Sunday. It never happened before, but there was now.

Carol lied down beside her daughter on the smaller part, moving her daughter's little arm from being flung above her head to across her stomach, and she propped her head up on her knuckles, smiling at the bundle between them.

"Kinda jealous," Daryl whispered.

"Why?" She moved semi-wet hairs from Charli's brow and met his eyes. "Of what, I mean."

"You always had a part of me when we were separated, but I had nothin' of you." He stroked Charli's cheek with his index finger.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. "I know what you mean, but you always had a part of me with you. It just didn't come with explosive diapers and midnight feedings." She reached over and moved his bangs from his forehead.

"I wish I coulda been there. I'd give anythin'."

"You're here now, and that means everything to us." She searched his eyes. "And Mika needed you. Don't wish that away."

"I wasn't. I just—I wish we all coulda been together."

"We are now, and I think we needed that time to grow apart as people. I don't know how we would have balanced our relationship, a newborn, Mika and the road until we found this place. It would have been hell."

He thought back to being on the road after their plans for Washington were derailed, and it was more likely Carol would have loss the baby. They starved. They were held hostage. They were left to rot on the road, and Charli wouldn't have a survived. It would have broken him, to be in such a dark place as he had been, and he couldn't do it. God, and what it would have done to Carol….

"Hey." She cupped a hand to his cheek. "Don't think about it."

"You're right." He clasped her hand and exhaled. "Guess it happened the way it happened."

"Guess so." She stroked his cheek and smiled at him lovingly. "I can't wait for the fair. Our first date. With our daughters."

He smirked back at her. "It'll be great."

They spoke softly for a while longer but sleep claimed them. Carol's arm draped across her daughter's shoulder, Daryl's hand clasping hers even while they dreamed, and not one woke once as they slept wrapped up in each other. Almost entirely whole.

* * *

"We shouldn't be doing this." Noah looked out at the moon dancing as wind cause ripples across the pond's surface. "I mean, it's nearly fall. We'll just get sick."

"You need to loosen up and live a little." Beth removed her boots and unbuttoned her jeans, moving towards the black water. "Take those pants off, boy," she teased in a heavy accent, giggling once it left her lips, and he chuckled.

"Fine, but never use that voice again."

"Deal." She grinned and shimmied off her tank top, leaving her in a boxer shorts and sports bra. She scanned the area for movement and lowered herself down onto the cool, dewy grass. She let the tips of her toes skim the surface of the water, gasping softly at the cold water. She smiled and looked over at Noah. "C'mon, slow poke."

"Eh, slow and steady wins in the end, remember that." He smirked and set his clothes down beside hers on the grass, dropping down beside her and grasping her hand. "One three?"

"If we do on three, we might as well jump in."

"But that'll make noise. Someone might come and check in on us." He commented, "We're already pushing sun rise."

"Okay. On three."

"One…"

"...two…"

"Three!"

They slid into the water, Beth squealed at the muddy edge gliding her into the cold water, and Noah gasped at the feel of the water suddenly sloshing over his body. The surface rippled as they dropped into the ink pond, their hands came apart, and they surfaced in the center of the pond.

It felt amazing to be in a pond again, Beth decided as she pushed hairs back from her face and exhaled blissfully, now fully adjusted to the temperature and allowing her body to float. She wasn't much in the muscle department, even had a little bit of chub on her belly from the weeks of good, solid, normal eating, and she felt amazing. She hadn't felt so downright, out of her skin thrilled in years, and she used to be so terrified she'd never feel this way again without consequences following shortly after.

Every day at the hospital felt like punishment for even existing, so it was a blessing to exist happily, here, with her family and with Noah. It felt like getting a third chance a life again. She knew there was no point in only ifs and should he or she be here, so she wouldn't go there. She was blessed to have this much of her family, of herself, and it was truly the best outcome she could have ever hoped for.

And to add to it, she could act like a true teenager again. Going swimming in the middle of the night—or early morning—in her panties and bra with her boyfriend was nowhere in sight just a few months ago; but here they were, swimming and laughing and being out and about on a nighttime date. It was a gift. She wouldn't let it go to waste, because he meant the world to her. She had become the woman she was meant to, and he was the man she wanted to be with. She couldn't say what the future would hold for them, but for now it was having a blast in a pond and trying not to wake the neighbors with laughter and squeals. Though if it happened, it couldn't be helped. Better laughter and squeals than screams of terror after all.

Noah shook water from his hair and found the moon reflecting in a circle around him. He glided his hand across the image and chuckled under his breath. He never saw his life like this: unclenched, stable, good. He never thought he would have this after nearly five years in that hellhole. He always thought—no. He had always known he would die here. Whether he was old and gray-haired or beaten to death by Dawn or stomped out by Gorman and his crew, he was so confident he was going to die there.

But he hadn't. He wasn't. He was able to live and breath freely, and yes, there was a downside—all that he had lost. All he had tried to return to being gone had devastated him. He didn't believe he could make it, but he thought long and hard about what Daryl told him, what Maggie had told him, what Beth had told him, and about that precious little girl, Charlotte. If the world could be so cruel, then how could something so sweet come of it? He knew there was a purpose for him. He just had to find it—and he had.

He was going to help Abraham and Maggie with the expansion and house-building in Alexandria, perhaps go to the Kingdom and help expand their territory as well. He knew Beth wouldn't want to make the trip, but she would if he asked. He wasn't sure if Zeke had been serious once he saw the sketches in his notebook outside Maggie's office, but he would go there and help. He would be happy to do the same for the Hilltop, but Jesus told him it wasn't necessary right now. He was handling ruling it, but it wasn't easy for him. He was in a relationship with Aaron, and he was torn between the two towns. From how his body spoke, he never wanted to be in a position of power, but life lead where it wanted you to be, seldom the other way around. Yet if Jesus could grasp life and get a handle on what his heart truly wanted, he hoped it was for the best interest of everyone.

"Boop."

Noah was startled out of his thought by Beth tapped his nose with her knuckle, her giggles soothing his nerves, and he grasped her hips under the water to pull her closer. "You shouldn't do that to a guy."

"And why not?"

"Because something the guy is in head for a reason."

"You're in your head all day, every day. Be with me." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "We have opposite schedules come sunrise, and I want to soak in enough of you to be sick of you."

"How thoughtful of you."

"You know what I mean." She grasped the slick curls at the base of his neck. "We're both getting jobs, and we'll grow with them. Become our own people—finally—and I just want tonight to be for us."

"Yeah, me too." He paused. "Wait, what do you mean "finally"?"

"We had no room to grow in Grady, but now we can. It might be apart, but I hope it makes us stronger together, you know?" She searched his eyes. "I want to be my own person outside of us. Does that make sense?"

"Of course, it does."

"Good, because I didn't want to offend you or anythin'. I still love you. I just want to learn to love myself again."

"Then I fully support you. I want you to love yourself, too, because I never want to lose you like I almost did."

"You didn't know me back then." The scar on her arm felt as fresh as the day she'd done it, and she awkwardly shifted her arms on his shoulders. "And it wasn't that I didn't care about myself. I was…lost. I was scared. I… I made the wrong choice, but it helped me to learn what the right ones are. I wouldn't change it."

"You don't have to hide it from me." He grasped her arm and placed a kiss to the silvery pink scar. "It's a piece of you, not who you are."

She smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He was about to kiss her when he felt something swipe across the pad of his foot. His toes spread and tried to feel what it might be when it came again, and he looked down, seeing only darkness. "Do you feel that?"

"No." She saw water drip off his clenched jaw and frowned, moving closer and trying to speak but something caught a hold of her ankle. "No—"

"Beth!"

She was pulled under the water, liquid flooded her mouth and nose, burning against her eyes, and she choked. She tried to see what was pulling her down, trying to see if Maggie or Glenn had found them and decided to play a messed-up prank, but she couldn't see their faces. She kicked her leg in an attempt to break free, but another hand claimed down on her. She was taking in too much water, and she felt dizzy.

She could feel her vision fading and kicked even harder, the world growing even more black, and she felt something give as her body floated upward. She felt hands wrap around her waist, and she tried to fight it, but a garbled voice said it was Noah. She stopped struggling and swam to the top with him.

They broke the surface as silver pierced through the night sky, they climbed onto land, and Beth coughed up water, lungs burning as she dragged herself out the water. Noah helped her away from the edge of the pond and onto solid ground, and she rolled onto her back, hacking and gasping for air. It was then that she felt something on her ankle and yelped as a hand still claimed her ankle. Noah threw it off and Beth pulled her leg in to look for any scratch marks.

"No, no, no." She coughed into her knee and felt around for any scratch marks.

"Beth…"

Fear prickled up her arms as tears burned in her eyes, claiming the joy she once had felt, and she wanted to kick herself for ever thinking carefree fun really had no cost.

"Beth." Noah wrapped his arms around her torso, holding her against him, and she panted silently. "You're okay. You're okay. I promise."

"Oh, God." She pushed hair out of her face and calmed herself down, pulling her legs in tight.

"It must be a walker from when the walls came down." He looked over at the waterlogged hand and confirmed his theory. "It didn't get you. It's okay."

"It's not okay. I thought…." She thought she would become like Daddy, lose her leg and wear a prosthetic. If they could even find one for her, and it was a selfish thought, because Daddy made it out fine with his. She was just terrified. It was a moment of weakness. She was allowed that one moment. She was fine. She was just fine. Breathe.

"Yeah, me too." He stroked her hair and kissed her temple as she sagged against him, his nose nudged her temple as he placed kisses there. He exhaled deeply, eyes opening to see pink and orange swirling overhead, and he smiled. "Hey, look."

She opened her eyes and looked at the beautiful sunrise spilling over above them, seeing the beauty in nature after facing one of its horrors, and she remembered where she was. She remembered who was all there and what that meant, and she didn't want a scare like this to be the only time she recalled this fact. She wanted to find herself her among her family and their people, that was still true, but now she wanted to do that for the better of herself and her family and these people. To be the best sister and teacher and protector she could be. She owed no one anything, but this was something she owed herself—to grow and plant roots. To never give up faith. There was a plan here. She just could see that now.

* * *

"Hey, where the jam?" Daryl inquired that morning, still groggy from their scare with Charli, even though it wasn't a real one. It still felt like it was real. Damn. He never thought a nose bleed could stop his heart like that.

"It's in the left cabinet." Carol sat beside Mika and smiled at her. "Good morning."

"Morning." She grasped her fork and dug into her eggs. "How'd you sleep?"

"Very well—after Charli had her nosebleed cleaned up."

"I hate nosebleeds." Mika shook her head and groaned in disgust. "It tastes so awful."

"My eggs or the nosebleed?" Daryl set the jar down in the center of the table and sat down now that his breakfast of eggs, venison and toast was complete. He felt someone tug on his shirt and saw Charli holding her arms up sleepily. He scooped her up and set her down in his lap. "We can share my breakfast. How's that sound?"

"Mommy, I want milk." She looked at the tea in his cup with a frown.

"Oh, well, we got you some, but you decided to sit on Dad's lap." She moved the cup of milk over to Daryl's space, and Charli perked up, accepting the plastic cup. "Here. Let me make you some toast."

"Oh, here." Daryl grabbed her purple rubber-handled fork and handed it to her, and she instantly went for his eggs, helping herself to and making "mmm" sounds as it'd been cooked in the venison grease. He chuckled and stroked her messy hairs. "What on the agenda for today?"

"I have school with Beth today," Mika replied. "I don't know what she's teaching exactly, but I'm excited to have a new teacher. I think she'll use some of the musical instrumentals, but I dunno for sure."

"That's great." Carol spread butter and jam on toast for Charli to have with her eggs since she wasn't a fan of venison, and she handed her the evenly cropped slices. "I might drop by for class, see how it's going."

"Please no." Mika begged. "That's so embarrassing. Having my mom drop by? And after the whole Nina thing. Please, no."

"Oh, Christ, it's a thing now?" Daryl cut a look to Carol. "Jesus H."

"Hey, language." Carol motioned to Charli who was playing with her food more than eating it, and Carol scolded her on it, too, making her pout and sent Carol a glare. "Hey, don't make me put you in time out, young lady."

She pursed her lips up to shrived lines and slumped against her daddy's chest. "Fine."

"Eat your toast," Daryl instructed. "I got the wall this morning, but I'm free tonight. I was thinkin' we drop by the Grimes for a play date or whatever, have dinner there."

"That'd be nice." Carol eat some of her eggs with venison. "Maybe…we could talk at dinner. Just the two of us, while Michonne or Rick watches the kids. I think we need to seriously discuss this Nina issue."

"How is it an issue?" Daryl picked up his cup of coffee. "We had it out with her. It's all out in the open now. There's nothing else to do but… apologize, I suppose."

She couldn't hide the impressive look in her eye at him realizing that amends needed to be made on both sides. "It's not the time now, but you do owe her an apology."

"And she owes you an apology," Daryl added. "She was an absolute ass to you for no reason."

"There was slight reason," Carol corrected. "But that's between us. We'll get it sorted. She'll move on, and it'll be okay one day. We just have to get to that one day."

"Guess so." He shook his head and saw Charli's fingers were sticky with strawberry jam. He thought back to when he was a kid, and Merle gave him corn bread with honey on it. Mom had made it, and it felt like a page from someone else's life. They were happy, just the three of them, and they laughed. It was his earliest memory of the two of them, and it brought him joy to this day. He only wished they could have kept that joy, that Mom could have kept sober, could have gotten them out of that house, but those were hopes from another life. He had his own children now, and he'd protect them, come nose bleeds and high waters.

"Mmm." Charli munched down on the toast and milk.

"So…" Mika cleared her throat. "What was that kiss about?"

Carol blushed and shifted in her seat. "Mika, we're not talking about that."

"Oh, come on!" She hit the table with her hand gently. "You have to tell me what it was about. Are you two together? Do I have to duck for cover? Was it a good kiss? A bad kiss? Should I look out for happy screaming?"

"Happy screaming?" Carol frowned and saw Daryl turning blood red. "Why would you ever need to look out for that? And what exactly do you think that means?"

"There's a toddler at the table, so I don't want to discuss it, but I just want to know if I should be happy or walking on eggshells. Mom?" She searched her eyes. "Daryl?"

"Daryl, remind me to come back to this subject later, and secondly…." Carol dropped off at the silent toddler who always asked questions and broke into conversation all the time. "Charlotte, you okay?"

Blue eyes fixed on Carol, bumps began to rise up along her honey-toned skin, and rasping breaths escaped through her lips. It felt like her tongue had grown four sizes, and she couldn't breathe. She wanted to call out to her mommy, but she could only wheeze.

"Oh, my God, Charli!" Carol jumped as her eyes went out of focus and she fainted, nearly smacking her head on the edge of the table. "We need to get to Denise. Now!"

Daryl picked Charlotte up in his arms and held her to his chest, running out of the house, leaving Carol and Mika to do whatever they pleased. He just knew he had to get to the clinic, because as he rounded the corner, she stopped wheezing. He was terrified that meant she had stopped breathing, and he ran even faster.

He kicked the door open, causing the two women inside to jump at the sudden boom of wood slamming against wall, and Tara rose up ask what the hell was his issue, but Denise saw Charli against his chest and silenced her with a touch to her.

They moved into the clinic instantly, Denise asked what had happened and noticed Charli wasn't breathing. Daryl told them what they'd had for breakfast, mentioned the nose bleed in case it sparked this somehow, and Denise caught what might be the cause as he spoke.

"Denise." Carol entered the clinic with Mika beside her. "How is she?"

"She'll be fine, if I'm right."

"And if you're wrong?" Mika demanded.

"Hey, don't cock an attitude at her," Tara retorted lightly. "Why don't you all take a seat and let us work? I know that seems harsh, but please, sit."

"She's right." Daryl grasped one of each of their hands and tugged them through to the next room. "We oughta give them space."

"That's my baby," Carol argued, tears in her eyes, removing her hand from his grip. "You don't know what she means to me."

"Yes, I do, because she means the same to me. We have to let them work." He grasped Mika's hand tenderly and searched Carol's eyes. "Trust Denise. She's your friend, your family. She'll help her, just like before when she was sick."

"I can help sick. I can't help that my daughter isn't breathing, Daryl." She turned back to the clinic where Tara and Denise were working around each other to help Charlotte. She stepped back when they set up an IV and buried her face in Daryl's chest, and she felt arms wrap around her from both Daryl and Mika, and she tried not to cry. She knew Denise would do everything to keep Charli alive, and she trusted Denise. She would simply have to keep trusting in her sister and pray that her daughter would survive. Pray and hope to be heard this time.

It was about two hours later when Denise and Tara emerged from the clinic, Mika had fallen asleep, despite all her attempts to stay awake, and Daryl roused her while Carol shot up and over to Denise to ask what the hell had happened to her little girl.

"It was just an allergic reaction." Denise informed them. "It would seem the strawberry jam caused it. She's had eggs before and milk and was fine, but I strongly believe it was the jam."

"But…she's eaten blackberry jam and was fine."

"She did have a bit of a stomachache afterward, though," Denise commented. "It would seem she does have an allergy to it. Does it run in the family? Do either of you know?"

"No, not on my side." She had it checked when she was pregnant with Sophia. "It must be from your side."

Daryl wasn't sure what his old man or mother might have had an aversion to, but he'd just go with it. It wasn't like they could test for it now. "Is she okay?"

Denise smiled. "She's just fine. She's resting now, but I've reduced the swelling in her tongue, added some herbal balm to the hives, and she's doing great."

"Oh, thank God." Carol gripped her stomach and laughed in relief. "Can I see her?"

"Absolutely." Tara opened the door for her.

"Thank you." She hugged Denise tightly. "Thank you so much."

"What is family for is not helping a little one through their first poor reaction to food?" Denise mused and hugged her back just as tightly. "I wouldn't have let her go, not for anything."

"I know."

Once the emotions were able to be contained, Carol and Daryl and Mika went to see Charli. They stayed with her for a while, playing a couple of games, telling a few stories and keeping her calm when Denise came back to thoroughly check her out. Denise wanted to watch her overnight to ensure nothing more would happen, and Daryl headed home to get a couple of items for her overnight stay. Carol was tempted to stay with her, but Denise reminded her of her first day on the wall bright and early. She knew she couldn't miss it. It was too important, and Carol promised to stop by once her shift was over. Denise promised her she was in good hands, and Carol knew that, but she still worried about her baby girl, and Denise understood. They would talk more in the morning.

"I will be with her all night," Denise vowed. "Trust me."

"I do. Of course I do. I just worry." Carol sighed and banished her worry. "Kiss her goodnight for me again."

"I will."

Daryl wrapped his arm around her and walked her home, Mika grasped her arm and held her hand, and they headed back to the house to get some sleep before their day started. Denise closed the door behind them and headed back to the clinic to see Charli struggling to fall asleep on the gurney.

"Uncomfortable?" Denise asked, and Charli shook her head. "You want me to sleep with you?"

"Please." She hugged a stuffed clam to her chest. "Like Mommy and Daddy."

"I'm not two people, but I love you as much as two people, so heck yeah." She climbed onto the gurney with her, wrapping her arms around her small body and kissing her hairs. "How are you feeling? Better?"

She nodded. "My tummy aches a bit."

"Oh?" She tucked hair behind her ear and kissed her belly until she giggled and ask her to stop, and Denise laughed and smacked a wet kiss to her cheek. "I love you, my little jelly belly."

"I love you, too, Auntie Dee." Charli grinned at her and snuggled up her, wrapping her arms around the clam and burying her face in Denise's chest. "Stay with me, please?"

"You never have to ask. I'm with you." She weaved her fingers through her naturally wavy hairs until her breathing slowed and evened out. She had been glad to have had dinner before she came to check up on her, not that she wouldn't have totally skipped the meal for Charlotte cuddles, but still. Better health this way. "Good night, sweet girl."

"…mmmm….."

She drifted off with the young girl, thinking thoughts of laughter and memories as she smelled the scent of herbs in her hair. She dreamt of such lovely things, of a lovely woman and of a sweet bundle of giggles and blue eyes. She slept deeply, peacefully, and when she roused, it was to the one she had dreamt of, standing there, beautiful as ever.

"Hey." Tara approached her, stepping softly as to not rouse the child still burrowed into her chest. "You look adorable, all curled up with the baby."

She chuckled softly. "Thank you. It's my mom look."

"I like it." She tucked her hands into her pockets and cleared her throat gently. "I put on a pot of coffee, and I can whip up some breakfast if she's hungry, which she's bound to be. I've seen Daryl eat, and boy can put it away. She has to be just like that."

"Oh, trust me, she is." Denise stroked her hair back from her face and found she was still out cold, body likely worn out from the reaction and the counter measures she took to prevent them from worsening then reversing the affects. Poor baby. "I don't want to wake her up just yet."

"And you shouldn't. I'll cook first then we'll wake the little Dixon." She leaned down and stroked Charli's dark baby hairs, her eyes moving to Denise, who was only inches away now, and she tried to think of something more to say.

"Thank you for being there for me last night." She freed a hand from Charli's locks and grasped Tara's. "Carol was too distraught to notice, but I really needed support, too, and you offered it—without a second thought—and that means…everything to me."

She cocked a crooked smile. "Of course. What are—"

"Before you finish that sentence," Denise interrupted, "come here."

"I am here."

"Closer."

Tara leaned in close and was met with a kiss, her eyes widened before closing, mouth moving instantly against Denise's, and she grasped her cheek to pull her close, momentarily forgetting about the little one between them as their mouths met again and again until giggling could be heard.

Denise pulled back to see Charlotte grinning behind her stuffed clam, and Tara blushed, moving back from them, and Denise asked Charli what was funny.

"You like her," Charli giggled. "You kissed her."

"Yes, I did kiss her."

"But like a lot," she added. "Like Mommy and Daddy."

"Yes, I did—Wait, Mommy and Daddy?" She would need to have a talk with "I need time" Carol. This wasn't mentioned to her, so it must have just happened. She had to get the details on this action, because she had to know that this was done for the right reasons. With all the commotion and the whole Nina thing, she didn't want this to be some weird claiming issue. That was the worst reason to kiss someone.

"Yep, a whole lotta kisses, just like you and you." She pointed to Tara and narrowed her eyes. "Be nice to Denise. Or I'll fight you."

"Oh, snap, little threats. How precious." Tara chuckled and bent down to be eye-level with the little miss and caught her pointing finger between her thumb and middle finger. "You have a deal, Charli. I won't hurt her."

"Good deal." She pulled her finger free and stretched, "Where's Mommy?"

"She's at the wall." Tara crossed her arms over her stomach. "I've been told to make you a super yummy breakfast to get you strong. You had a big day yesterday, so let's chill it out today, okay?"

"Can I have more jam and milk?" She searched Tara's eyes. "No vennyson."

Tara's heart melted. "Aww, God, you are too cute, but no. Eggs and milk. Mommy's rules." She lifted her arms up. "Wanna to use the bathroom? Wash your face? Pee?"

"Yes, please." She crawled out from under the blanket and let Tara pick her up to set her down on the floor. "Where is it?"

"I'll show you." Noah entered from the kitchen. "Then we'll make pancakes, because eggs are boring."

"I am just following orders. You piss Carol off and see how you make it out," Tara shot back.

"I think we'll be just fine." He held his hand out, and Charli accepted it. "C'mon."

Denise rose up off the gurney and set her feet on the floor, balling up the blanket and folding it over her arm. She exhaled softly and met Tara's eyes with a smile, chuckling awkwardly for a moment before speaking.

"That wasn't how I pictured our first kiss," she confessed.

"You pictured our first kiss?" Tara mused. "What did that look like?"

"Well, I wasn't holding a blanket for one." Denise set it down on the gurney and stepped close enough to Tara to erase all space between them. "And my arms were more here." She moved her arms around her waist and pulled her flush against her. "And I was looking into those beautiful eyes…"

Their lips met before any more words could be said, but it was more than enough. No more words were needed.


	15. Come And Get Your Love

In the kitchen Noah was spreading batter to make animal-shaped pancakes for Charlotte, looking over at Beth, who was working on her planner for her classes, and she peeked up at Noah playing with Charli. Her heart warmed as the sight of them making pancakes, imaging the moment when it was their own child splattering batter all over the skillet.

It was a realistic dream to have now. They were in a safe area, and they were together. They were committed to each other and their relationship. It was a lovely bond to have in this world. It was so rare and true, and it felt like the world was giving back after taking and taking, and she didn’t want to lose that. She wanted to hold on to him and to this for as long as she could, hopefully forever, if the world and his heart allowed, and maybe they would add goodness to the world. Goodness that would last and see the world return to what it could be, not to what it was.

“Hey, Beth.” Daryl entered from the outside and smiled at the gorgeous sight of his little girl giggling and laughing with Noah, making breakfast. He had known Carol was worried out of her mind, even in her sleep, so he was glad she would have relief. He was even more relieved to see her smiling and happy, the laughing picture of his and Carol’s love. God, how’d he get so lucky?

“Hey, Dad.” She smirked back at him and propped her chin up on her knuckles. “Where’s Mom?”

“In bed where I left her.” He waved to Noah and Charli, who took off like a shot for him, and he scooped her up into his arms, embracing the healthy bundle in his arms. “Hey, I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Daddy.” She smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder, bringing her arms around his neck. “It was good to see Denise, but I missed you and Mommy. And Mika.”

“We missed you, too, baby.” He kissed her forehead and sat down, adjusting her legs on his knees, seeing Beth eyeing him like he’d said something funny. “What?”

“In bed here you left her,” Beth replied. “Since when do you leave Carol in bed?”

He chuckled and wished to the heavens he had left Carol in bed the way he wanted to. Hell, he wouldn’t have been able to move had he left her in bed like he wanted to. Jesus H. “We slept in the same room. Me, Carol and Mika, to support each other. It was a rough night.”

“I’ll bet.” She smiled down at Charli. “How are you doing, kiddo?”

“I’m hungry, but Uncle Noah and I made pancakes in funny shapes.” She giggled at the funny animal shapes he tried to make.  “It was fun.”

“Bet they’ll taste real good, too.” Daryl tucked wild hair behind her ear and kissed the top of her head. “No fruit, Noah.”

“No, sir.” Noah brought over a plate of funnily shaped animals. “Just animals. Maybe.”

“Thanks.” Daryl cut up the pancakes into smaller pieces, helping Charli drown them in syrup, and he let her have the fork to attack the first food she’d had since yesterday morning. He caught Beth smiling at him like she’d fallen in love with a puppy. It reminded him of when he caught her walking up behind him at the funeral home, smirking about there being a dog, and he wondered what now caused her to look at him like that.

“Being a dad is a good look on you.” She accepted her plate from Noah and closed her folder. “I’m a little jealous how close to you she is, but you are her father, even if she’s known me a bit longer."

“You want sticky hands and boney elbows poking at you?” Daryl lowly asked as Charlotte chomped down on pancakes and drank her milk. “’Cause it ain’t all that grand.”

“You love it,” Beth teased.

“Yeah, I do.” He twisted a few strands of wavy locks in between his fingers, and he peeked at Beth with a smile on his lips. “Thank you.”

She returned his smile with a grin and bit into a pancake from her fork, remembering a meal over candlelight and disgusting pigs’ feet and sloppy manners, and she nodded to him, a silent thanks of her own as her mouth was full. She had a lot to be grateful to him for, and if it wasn’t for the both of them, they never would have found such a love. Well, loves in his case. Perhaps it would be loves soon in her case as well.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” Noah sat beside Beth and saw Chari was working hard to clear her plate. It made him happy. He had always thought of himself as a horrible cook, but apparently he wasn’t too awful if she’d shoveled it down as she had.

“A BBQ at our place,” Daryl commented. “At last for dinner.”

“Oh, cool. I’d love to attend a BBQ.” Noah hadn’t been to one in years, and he didn’t have to pay to eat, so that would be a good sight. He hoped it was a good party, too.

“It’s for adults and kids, clearly, and we’ll have a bit of dinner and games.” Daryl adjusted Charli on his lap, her elbow right against his rib; and he found relief in the movement as she now sat across his lap, having finished her meal and was enjoying the sweet syrup on her fork and how it tasted with the milk. “Carol and I wanted to do something with our families, so we decided on a Dixon-Grimes-Rhee-Greene dinner.”

Beth inhaled. “Weird to be the only Greene anymore.”

“Weird to not be the only Dixon anymore,” Daryl confirmed right back at her.

“Well, I could always have babies, but they won’t take the name.” She shrugged. “Guess it died with Daddy and Shawn.”

“You never now. Maybe he’ll take your last name should you get married.” Daryl sneaked and grabbed a pancake from Charli’s plate, which she noticed anyway and glowered at him for his theft. “Sharin’ is carin’, Charli.”

“You didn’t ask,” she grumbled and munched down on another piece.

“Hey, sweetie.” Maggie strolled in from the front door and smiled at the sight of Charlotte well and eating. “I heard she’d had a bad reaction to strawberries. I’m glad she’s doin’ well now.”

“Yeah, thanks to Denise and Tara.” Daryl shifted in his seat to be leaning forward to see if anyone else was coming through the door. Namely Carol, but no such luck. She was probably still stress sleeping with Mika. He was glad to know she was resting, but he wanted to see her. He ached to see her, to be honest. He didn’t know how much more time she needed, but fuck. He’d give anything to be with her once again like they were. Preferably more than once, but he wouldn’t be pushy.

“Good, that’s real good.” She placed her hands on the back of Beth’s chair and grinned. “We need an adult fun night.”

Daryl nearly choked on saliva. “Excuse me?”

“Maggie!” Beth blushed at the mere thought of what Maggie could mean.

“Sounds fun,” Noah commented, knowing what Maggie had in mind as he’d brought the idea to her early this morning.

“Noah, hush.” Beth pleaded, still reeling from the words “adult” and “fun” came out of her sister’s mouth, praying to God she meant something—anything—else than what Beth was thinking.

“Oh, grow up, you perverts.” She sank down into the empty seat beside her baby sister and rested her chin on her knuckles. “You two can do whatever you want after the party, but during it’s just gonna be dinner and drinks and adult conversation about bettering the community or gossip or whatever you like. No kids. No worrying. Just adults being adults and cutting loose. I’ve invited Michonne, Rick, you guys and Carol, Abe and Sasha, Denise and Tara, and I’ve left it at that, ‘cause I don’t want a bunch of drunks in my house.”

“Horny drunks you mean,” Noah mushed.

“Yep, that’s exactly what I mean.” She rested her arms on the table now. “Do you want to come?”

“I dunno.” Daryl chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and looked at his daughter. “Kinda an ass when I drink.”

“You aren’t that bad,” Beth murmured. “And Carol will keep you in line.”

“That’s true,” Maggie chimed in. “C’mon, come and cut loose, Dixon.”

“Who’s gonna watch the kids? I got two of ‘em, and I ain’t gonna relax with my thirteen-year-old watchin’ my four-year-old.”

“Almost four,” Charli corrected around a mouthful of pancake and egg.

“Same difference. I just… don’t want Mika to have that responsibility right now. She should be a kid. Y’all never got that option, but I want my kids to have that, you know.” He searched their face one by one, seeing pride and admiration there, and the tips of his ears burned scarlet. 

“You just said “my kids” like fifteen times.” Beth was beaming. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up. I care, all right? I got… I have kids, and I’m gonna do right by ‘em.” He cleared his throat and avoided looking at everyone. “And you’re not answerin’ me, Mags.”

“Enid and Carl will watch the kids,” Maggie replied. “It’s only until ten. We have the whole living room ready for a slumber party with candied fruit, pop corn and movies I’ve had hidden for my selfish childhood reasons. It’ll be great.”

 _Right, the two babies watchin’ babies._ He heaved a sigh. “Depends on what Carol says.”

“Carol says yes.”

Daryl looked over as she entered, all wrapped up in a gray knit cardigan, arms around Mika, smiling sleepily at them, thrilled at the sight of her not red and swollen faced baby girl. She released Mika and picked Charlotte and her stinky fingers up and into her arms.

“Hey, my baby.” She kissed her forehead. “How are you doing?”

“Mommy, I missed you.” She wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her cheek. “I’m full of pancakes.”

“Oh, you are? Sounds like a good thing to be full of.” She chuckled and kissed her tip of her nose. “Daddy come to see you without waking me.”

“He did. He stole a piece of my cake, too.” She was still bitter over it. “He didn’t even ask.”

“Oh, he didn’t? Well, he’ll have to be punished for that. Leave it to me.”

 _Trust me, I’m already bein’ punished_ , he thought to himself.

“There’s some extra pancakes if you’re hungry,” Noah mentioned, gesturing to the counter with his shoulder.

“I’m starved.” Mika jogged over and helped herself to the extras. “Why are these so weirdly shaped?”

“I tried to make animal shapes. It didn’t work out so well.” Noah couldn’t help but chuckle at the lumpily shaped cakes before him. “Still tasty.”

“Aww, my sister gets man who can cook.” Maggie teased. “How sweet.”

“Mags, please.” Beth was attempting to hide her blush behind her hair, failing miserably and trying to focus on her meal. “He’s not my “man”, anyway. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Same thing.”

“Not to me. My man sounds so…bleck.” She shook her head. “Boyfriend means something.”

“Means husband one day?”

“Mag, we haven’t even talk about that.” Beth’s eyes widened. “You really should wat—”

“Hus…band,” Charlotte interjected loudly. “I don’t know that word.”

“Yeah, we never went over that. We mentioned wife, but not husband.” Carol licked her thumb and rubbed syrup from the corner of her daughter’s mouth. “A husband is someone who is…loyal to his family and to the person he loves. He is…a best friend, a protector. A good man who…stands his ground in a relationship and moves forward only as a whole with his partner, never alone.”

“Like Daddy?” she whispered, little fingers in her mouth as she sucked the syrup off them.

She nodded. “Exactly like Daddy.”

“But you’re not his wife,” Charlotte pointed out and pouted. “I want you to be his wife.”

“Wow, kid’s got balls.” Beth found herself saying and stammered when Daryl sent her a warning look. “She does.”

“That’s for Mommy and Daddy to decide, and for right now all that’s decided is we’re attempting this party at the Rhee’s. You get to have a slumber party with Judy and Grace and RJ and Mika and maybe Rosita.”

She gasped. “Yay! Tonight?”

“It’s tomorrow,” Maggie corrected with a slight wince. “It’ll be fun, but you just have to wait. We’re doing dinner at your place tonight, though. It’ll be like a pre-party.”

“Will Judy be there?” She wrapped wet fingers around her mom’s shoulder.

“Yes, she will be. Oh, and that reminds me. Aaron and Paul will be at the party, too, so you can hang out with Grace tomorrow tonight.”

“Cool.” She grinned and rested her head on her mom’s forehead. “I’m bored.”

“Well, let’s get you home and bathed and changed. You and Mika can play, maybe draw something pretty for Mommy to hang up in her boring bedroom.” Carol smirked at Daryl, who was the sole decorator of their home. “Hmm?”

“Can I draw on the walls?”

“No, but no paper.”

She pursed her lips to the side and narrowed her eyes but nodded. “Okay.”

“Good girl.”

They finished up their meal, Maggie sharing more details about their adult dinner, and Carol was happy to be able to do something normal again. She sat close to Daryl, laughing at Maggie being silly, and Beth being embarrassed. It was perfect, and she hoped it carried over to their night of food and drinking and maybe something good would come of it. Maybe her walls would let Daryl inside and there wouldn’t be a need for time apart. She hoped so. The ball of nerves resting on her gut hoped so.

They headed home once the food and dishes were done. Daryl wrapped Mika up in his coat with him as she shuddered and shivered, and Carol had done the same with Charlotte. They eventually become one single moving unit and ran inside once the house came into sight. Daryl built a fire in the fireplace, Mika and Charli curled up beside it and played a movie while Carol planned dinner. Daryl lingered in the kitchen while she prepared to marinate some venison.

“You really want to go to this dinner with them?” he whispered softly, not wanting the girls to hear and think their slumber party might be cancelled.

“Yeah, I do.” She leaned against the counter, palms on the countertop and meeting his eyes. “It’ll be fun, with both of us there. It won’t be like you and Beth and the moonshine.”

He paled. “She—she told you about that?”

“I’m sure she didn’t tell me all of it, but yes.” She searched his eyes. “It’ll be fun, Daryl, trust me. We’ll have each other, and we’ll have a good time. I promise.”

“All right, but I might complain the whole time.”

“You won’t.” Her hand shifted from the counter and landed on his cheek, thumb stroking the warm but firm line there, and she smiled. “C’mon, let’s go join our girls.”

He smiled back at her and grasped her hand. “Can we cuddle at least?”

“Well, I’d hope so. I love to be cuddled.” She guided him into the living room by his hand, and they sat down on the couch, curling up together, and Charli instantly made for Carol’s lap. Mika chuckled, and Carol shifted to make room for her. “C’mon, join the cuddlefest.”

“I’m good, but thanks.” She crossed her legs on the floor in front of the fire. “Maybe next time.”

“All right, but I’m holding you to it.” She wrapped her arms around her little one and kissed her hairs. “What are we watching?”

\--- ---

Carl tossed the basketball to his father, working on a new form of physical therapy with his dad, and he caught the ball before confessing, “I need to talk to you about something…. I mean, I want to talk to you.”

Rick adjusted his sleeve and nodded. “You can talk to me about anythin’, Carl.”

He inhaled and nodded. “When…when I was shot,” he started, words trembling along his tongue and spilling out slowly like syrup, stilling the ball as he held it. “When I was shot…I thought I saw Mom.”

Rick couldn’t help the whimper that passed through his throat, tickling along his mouth on its way out. A soft hum of a whimper. “You…uh, you did?”

“I thought I did.” He gripped the ball as he tried to for the words in his mind, not wanting to alarm his father, only to inform. “She looked beautiful…like Judith…with a huge smile, like she was happy to see me.”

“Yeah?” Rick couldn’t fight the tears inching in his eyes, burning white to red and clear to blurry, and he stumbled back a few steps. “She would be.”

“Not really.” A humorless chuckle passed through his lips. “She would be angry.”

“Angry?” He swallowed and met his son’s eye.

“To see me gone from the world so soon? Yeah, she’d be pissed.” He let the ball drop and approached his dad, arms crossing as he did so, and he went on to explain. “It wasn’t the first time…I thought about dying, Dad.”

Rick’s eyes seared as he crouched down, rubbing a hand down his jaw before firmly locking it over his mouth, and he looked up at his son helplessly, his very heart in his hands as it bled out white to those words. _God, no, please._

“When we were alone on the road, after that…jackass Phillip beat you into a bloody mess… I tried, Dad. I tried so hard, but the world beat me down. I thought Judy was dead, and then I… I thought I’d lost you, too, and I was ready. I was ready to let you kill me, so I didn’t have to suffer through that unbearable anguish anymore.” He lowered his eye but didn’t make eye contact with his father, and he moistened his lips. “But then you spoke, and I felt relieved. It didn’t make it all better, but it was enough. I could breathe, and… it was enough.”

“Carl….” He dropped his hands to his lap and adjusted his feet underneath him, folding like a box as he fell to the ground completely.

“And the second time…was when I lost my eye. I… I’m still struggling with it, but it’s okay now. I’m okay. Enid and Mom and…everyone have helped me to learn to be okay, and that’s why I’m telling you this. I don’t want you to worry about me. This isn’t a cry for help. I already went through that, and I’m coming out of it. Better than… I ever thought possible.” He smiled happily. “I’m okay, Dad.”

“Carl…I—”

He shook his head and knelt down to be at eye-level with his dad. “It wasn’t about you, and it isn’t now. It’s about me, and the choices I’m making. I know I’ve shut you out, but I won’t anymore. I’ve become my own person, but that’s what you and Mom wanted. I hope I can make you proud.”

Rick shook his head now and pulled Carl into his arms, shifting into his knees, and stroking the back of his head. “You’ve never done anything but make me proud, Carl. I knew you had to go through this at your own pace, and I’m glad you’ve decided to let me know about your progress. I love you, son, and that was never going to change.”

He smiled into his shoulder and embraced him tightly. “I love you, too, Dad.”

They stayed there for a moment, holding each other, and slowly they let go. Rick grabbed the basketball and picked it up, tossing it to his son, and he caught it with a chuckle. They began the game up again, working on his hand-eye contact, strengthening his vision in his one eye. They would make do. And it was more than enough.

\--- ---

The dinner with the Dixon-Rhee-Greene-Grime went beautifully as planned. Carol and Michonne and Maggie went off and had some wine in the living room, laughing and having some “girl time” as Rick called it. He and Glenn and Daryl had a couple of glass of milk with Charli who wanted to join the boys for their fun, and Daryl taught her how to play poker. She was actually fucking good at it, and she nearly conned Carl out of his hat. She had temporary ownership of it until their slumber party for tonight, and it was a grand victory for her. She paraded round the house with it, and Mika and Hershel giggled at her. It felt like before, like there wasn’t someone on the wall, keeping an eye out for walkers or worse. It felt like everything, and that much more.

So, when Carol got all dressed up for their night out, Daryl couldn’t help but put some effort into himself to make her smile. He threw on some clean jeans and a t-shirt, tossing on his angel wing vest and combing his hair. He was trying, but he still wanted to complain. He didn’t want to spend the evening drinking wine and socializing. He wanted to spend the evening at home with Carol, doing things to her that would make a whore blush, but he couldn’t do that. He had to respect her wishes, and he did. Of course he did. It was simply driving him mad.

 Tossing the comb onto the bathroom counter, he didn’t bother to look in the mirror and headed downstairs to check on the girls. They were getting ready for their slumber party at the Grimes’, and it was going to be the best thing since sliced bread to them. Literally sliced bread. They hadn’t had real bread until they came here, and so this was the new best. He was genuinely happy for them, and he loved to see his girls smile. it felt like true peace, to see them so giddy and light and so like children should be. He didn’t know what he did to deserve them, but he hoped to the high heavens he never lost them.

“Y’all all packed and ready to go?” Daryl came off the bottom step and saw to backpack packed to puffy and ready for a sleepover. It brought a smile to his lips, and it wouldn’t be chased off, not even by how they were eyeing him. “What?”

“You look handsome,” Mika answered. “Did you brush your hair?”

“I always brush my hair,” he grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“I like it,” Charli declared and grinned at him. “Mommy will, too.”

“Well, it ain’t like I dressed to impress Mommy,” he lied.

“What if Mom dressed to impress you?” Mika challenged. “She put perfume on and some earrings. Big dangling ones. She looks beautiful.”

“She always does, though,” Charli remarked.

“She does,” Daryl concurred. “Now, get your bags on, please. We oughta get outta here and join the party soon.”

“You should try and have a good time.” Mika shouldered her bag and helped Charlotte with hers. “It isn’t every day you get the house to yourselves, and it isn’t every day you get invited to a social event.”

He really wished Nina hadn’t given her class a sex ed course so young. He knew Mika had periods and all that woman junk but come the fuck on. He didn’t need her making hints about him and Carol when she was just a kid and had no real idea what it was about. Knowing and doing weren’t the same, and Mika would learn that one day—hopefully in the distant, _distant_ future. He just had to hope it was a good lesson to learn, and not the awkward mess he had of his first time. Thanks a lot, Merle. He learned late that those women fucked him instead of him fucking them, and it took being with Carol to realize that. He had something more important with her, and he discovered what it was to actually make love and so much more. More he hoped he could experience again.

At the sound of a heel, Daryl turned and nearly hit the floor at the sight at the top of the stairs, and Carol’s smile told him she’d accomplished a personal goal. Her hairs were curled and loose around her small face, blue and silver dangled from her ears, and her lavender dress hung on her every curve. She looked like a model, and it only proved correct as she glided down the stairs and joined them, newish boots peeking out from under sweeping hem of the dress.

“How do I look?”

“A bit overdressed,” Mika replied, “but absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you. It’s a little loose, but I liked it when Olivia showed it to me.” She came off the steps and smiled awkwardly. “I feel…odd.”

“Well, you shouldn’t. You look amazing.”

“Yeah, you do,” Daryl found his voice and nodded. “You look incredible.”

“Me?” Carol ran her eyes over him. “You look pretty good yourself.”

“Not next to you,” he murmured.

“Oh, gross, adults flirting.” Mika covered Charli’s ears and pulled her away from them with a playful grin on her lips. “Let’s get Mr. Clam into your bag before we leave.”

“If adults didn’t flirt, neither of you would be born,” Carol retorted.

“That’s even grossier!”

Carol laughed, and Daryl snorted a chuckle, and they helped the girls gather their stuff for the slumber party. Daryl took a hold of Charlotte’s hand and walked beside her on the way to the Grimes’ household, and Mika and Carol walked behind them, talking about things to watch out for with Charli and her new-found allergy. There were plenty of homemade snacks, and Carol wanted to be sure that nothing would happen to her at this party. She knew Michonne would be careful with food prep, but she wanted to be sure. She wanted to enjoy tonight, and selfish as it was, she didn’t want to worry about Charlotte.

Mika vowed to look after Charli like a big sister would, like how Lizzie should have looked after her, and Carol kissed her brow, remembering the small girl with blue eyes and blonde hair. She didn’t mention that thought to Mika, and they parted ways at the house. Carol and Daryl both made sure the babysitters were really going to do their job, and Carl promised to keep an eye on them—just the one—and Carol wasn’t sure if she could laugh at that or not, and Daryl’s laugh slipped out before he realized he even wanted to laugh, and Enid told Carl to stop making jokes about his eye. Apparently, it’d been a running theme for the evening, and even Noah was uncomfortable.

“I thought you two were going to be at the adult party,” Carol inquired. “Are you not?”

“Oh, we’ll come later, but we just wanted to check on the kiddos.” Beth shrugged a shoulder. “I’m a teacher who loves kids, and I have a lot of time to make up for.”

“You have your own life to live now,” Daryl told her. “Judy ain’t yours to worry about. Neither is our little girl.”

“I know, and this is how I want to spend my days. Sue me.” She smiled at him, knowing he hadn’t meant to say it as harshly as he had. “I’ll see you two later. I have to check on my boyfriend. He’s still trying to adjust to jokey Carl.”

“Yeah, me too. Let me know how he does,” Carol said.

“Will do.” She waved and closed the door, calling after them to have a good time. She shook her head and headed through the living room to the room that was once Daryl’s to find Noah. He had wanted to talk to her, but she had been busy with the kids and their snack packs and their spot for the movies. She trusted Enid and Carl to keep them calm until they returned, and she hoped they could make it to Maggie and Glenn’s. She wanted to spend time with adults for a night. She loved kids, but even she needed adult conversation.

“Hey, you.” She closed the door behind her and smiled at him as he sat on the bed. “What are you doin’ back here? Enid told me you were wanting to talk?”

“Yeah, I do want to talk—privately.” He stood up from the bed and grasped her hands. “It’s about what Maggie said yesterday morning.”

“Oh, you don’t have to take that seriously. She was just jokin’—”

“Joking or not, it got me thinking.” He peered at her through his eyelashes, a smile curling up on the left side of his mouth, blooming into a full-on grin that caused her heart to speed up and flutter both at the same time. “I love you, Beth Greene, and I don’t know what fate has planned for us, but we’ve overcome so much together. I can see us overcoming the world, and if you can see that too, then I don’t want to waste my time pretending we’re just testing the waters. I want to wake up to you every morning, and I want you beside me every night. I want…a family with you, and I want that family to see this world turn around. I want you by my side through everything.”

Heat seared across her face as silvery tears bunched up in ocean eyes, and she threw her arms around his neck, holding the back of his head as they toppled backwards onto the bed. She held onto him and laughed through the sobs choking her, and she pulled back to look down at him, tears falling free and landing on his cheeks.

“So, is that a yes?”

She nodded. “Uh-huh, it’s a yes.” She wiped her tears from his cheeks. “A yes to everythin’, to all you said.”

He grinned at her and sat up so she was in his lap, and he grasped her hips. “And if I implied getting married?”

“Then yes to that, too.” She kissed him, catching his grin and laughing softly against his lips. “God, I’ve never loved anybody as much as I love you.”

“I’ve never known anything like this before, and I’ll make mistakes with us, but I’m not scared to take this further, because you are my future. You’ve shaped me, helped make me into this man, and I…am forever grateful and forever taken by you.” He searched her eyes deeply. “I will cherish you with my every breathe, and I’ll honor you, do right by you, do…the very best I can to keep you as happy as this world allows. If that isn’t happy enough for you, I’ll make a new level…just for you…just for us.”

“Okay, that has to be the sexist thing I’ve ever heard.” She kissed him again, deeper this time, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling back enough to speak. “Does anybody need us?”

“No.”

“Good, because I think some practice on making that family is much needed.” She giggled and pushed hair out of her face. “Have little mixed babies runnin’ around here.”

He chuckled. “Who says we need practice?”

“What?” She pulled back from his kiss and stilled, mouth opening slowly as her brain attempted to process his words. “What are you sayin’?”

“I’m saying,” he answered, sliding his hands up and down her back before allowing them to return to her waist, “let’s make a baby.”

“Are you serious?”

“I know you want to be a mother. You’ve always wanted a child, and I want…to be a dad, see a piece of my family live on in the next generation, see both of our families live on and thrive. I want to argue over names and see your belly get all swollen and perfect with life. I want…to start that right now. Today. With you.” He inhaled. “Is that okay?”

She couldn’t speak her answer, so she nodded, confessing with a tremble, “I’m scared.”

“Me too, but I want this. Don’t you?”

She nodded again and locked her eyes in his. “I want this.”

“Awesome,” was the only ting to escape from his lips, and they laughed together before love and lust overtook them, and the sounds of the kids and the movies and the worry of babysitting vanished. It was simply two people becoming one and trying for a future they both wanted. It was tender and passionate and filled an ache in each that they didn’t know existed.

\--- ---

At Maggie and Glenn’s party, Daryl sat alone with an untouched glass of whiskey in his hand, listening to the sounds of conversation, watching Carol and Denise converse about God only knew what, and he rolled the glass between his palms, minding the amber liquid inside. He liked this. He liked being alone in a room of family and not feeling unwanted. He knew he could easily join in on a conversation and be heard, but for now, he needed some time to himself to adjust to this party before he could throw himself into conversation.

And honestly, he had a better view of Carol from here. He didn’t know where that dress was loose, but he knew it wasn’t anywhere in the bust or bum region. He had a perfect view of both and felt a different kind of thirst boiling up under his skin and begging to be released. He knew he had to give her space and to cool himself off, but god damn. Why did she have to make it such a challenge? If she was tempting him anymore, he’d just grab her and take her in the nearest bedroom and—with consent—do everything he could think of to her and with her. He’d give anything to just—

“Hey,” Abraham sat down beside him and inhaled deeply, “how’s Dad doin’?”

“I was enjoyin’ myself, but then someone came over and ruined it,” he jested, taking a sip of whiskey. “How about yourself?”

“Eh.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Been better, been worse.”

“You and Sasha having problems?”

He looked down at his bottle of beer. “Nothin’ I can’t fix.” He took a long swig and swallowed loudly, repressing a burp with an even louder croak in his throat. “You and Carol. How’s that goin’?”

He immediately downed the glass of whiskey to get a refill, but Abraham presented a flask and filled his cup up, pressing again on him and Carol; and he wanted to throw himself out the window to avoid this conversation, this man-to-man heart-to-heart. Abe was already buzzed; why couldn’t Daryl be given the chance to be so lucky?

“We’re doin’.” He didn’t want to go into detail and hoped Abe took it for what it was.

“So, you’re back together then? It’s good?”

“We ain’t…not back together, but we’re not together. Not really. It’s…real complicated. Carol needs time. I mean, I know we’ll be together. She’s already kissed me since the gap apart, and we got a kid together, and we’re a real good couple together, but…I dunno what’s…distractin’ her.”

“Distracting? What do you mean?”

“Like…she has walls up, and I don’t know why.”

“Ask her.”

“It ain’t that simple, man.” He drank from his cup and tried to set it down, but Abe filled it once more and drank from his beer. Daryl decided to nurse the drink and hope he didn’t have to deal with whatever powerful ass shit Abraham was giving him. It burned all the way down and came back up to singe out his nose hairs. He wouldn’t be surprised if they all fell out and landed on the floor, shriveled up and went stark white. Good fucking God, what the hell was this poison?

“Well, explain it to me. Maybe I can help. I have a way with women.”

“No, you don’t. You just got ass lucky Sasha and Rosita wanted you.”

He chuckled. “Drink. I like this side of you.”

“Nah, man, I ain’t…. I’m not one for drinking.”

“You are when you’re in my company, and maybe it’ll make me feel better about my shit.” He held up his beer, and Daryl groaned but complied by clinking the cup to bottle and downing the poison once more.

Across the living room Carol was trying to encourage Denise to talk to Tara about a relationship. Denise was being highly childish about the subject, and Carol was about to just throw her at the woman to get it over with already. They shared more than one kiss, had a date set, and Denise was wimping out over a conversation.

“Just talk to her.” Carol drank from her glass of wine and tried not to sound exasperated.

“You know, for someone who wants me to talk to Tara and be in a relationship with her, I can’t help but bring up the fact that you’re pushing Daryl away,” Denise shot back, trying to sound as sweet as possible while irritated.

Carol ran her tongue along her bottom lip. “Well, it’s different with us. It’s complicated. We have kids. We can’t just rush into anything.”

“Carol, honey, you’ve kissed him. You clearly are ready to engage in an intimate relationship. You’re just scared.”

She drank from her glass to avoid answering.

“I know how risky it is to be with someone who has been ripped away from you again and again, but you can’t let fear stop you. You two are good together. You love each other. It’s not like the walls will fall tomorrow if you take a chance. We’re safe here. We can start over, and you two clearly have already started over, but you’re holding back. You just need to…take a leap of faith.”

“Take a leap of faith?” She scoffed at the idea, not at Denise, and she shook her head. “It doesn’t work like that, Denise.”

“It can. I want you to be happy, Carol, and you aren’t going to be as happy as I want until you and Daryl are back together. You’re just wasting time. Don’t waste any more. It’s been over three years, honey, just go for it.”

Carol didn’t want to admit the fears that brewed just under the surface, because of what Rick did, because of what she had done; and honestly, she was scared of a new type of punishment for being happy. The world had never been kind to her and people she loved, so how could she expect to be happy—truly happy—for the rest of her life here with Daryl? With Charlotte and Mika? How could she be with them and not worry about some unforeseen consequences? It’d all the world had ever shown her. If she was happy, someone or something would sweep through and destroy every ounce of happiness she felt. She spent years in hell, having small moments of happiness and being beaten for them. Then once she was free, she lost her pride and joy. And then once she made peace with that…. There was a negative cause and affect about her life, and she couldn’t handle it happening now. There was too much at stake.

“You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met, and this scares you?” Denise lowered her voice. “Look at yourself. You’ve come so far since the beginning of this, and you can go a little further with your relationship. Trust me. It’ll be fine. I know it.”

“Denise, I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean—”

“Just take a chance.” This came from Michonne who had overheard the conversation by mistake, waiting for Maggie to return from the kitchen. “You deserve that. He deserves that.”

She wanted to whine at being cornered with all this, but she knew they were right. That was why stung to sit there and try to play the no side of it. She wanted to be with Daryl. She wanted it with every fiber of her being, because she loved him. She more than loved him, and to be apart from him after this all time apart felt like hell. She was trying to be reasonable, but reason had nothing to do it with anymore. They would be amazing parents to two awesome kids and being involved wasn’t going to changed that.

“I need something stronger than this.” Carol headed to the kitchen where Maggie and Glenn were checking on Hershel through a well-placed nanny cam. “Hey, what are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Maggie grinned and flicked the cam off, setting it down on the counter. “I don’t think I’ve said, but you look lovely.”

“Thank you.” She blushed slightly and set the empty wine glass down. “Do you have anything stronger than this? It’s been a rough night.”

“’Cause you won’t get with Daryl,” Glenn offered, and she nodded, her blush worsening. “Do you want my opinion on it? Feel free to say no, people have been butting in on this relationship since day one, so say no if you mean it.”

“No, go ahead, tell me.” She leaned against the counter.

“I think…tonight is for adults, so cut loose. Your kids are fine with Carl and Beth and Enid. They’ll be there all night. You can talk to Daryl. Really talk to him, and maybe it’ll turn out better than you think.”

“I think talking is a worn-out concept between us.” Her nose scrunched, and she slid the glass over to them. “Refill with something hard, please.”

“Harder than Daryl?” Maggie mused, and Glenn choked on a laugh.

“Yes, harder than Daryl.” She smirked.

As the evening wore on, Carol and Maggie drank in the kitchen and laughed over baby stories while Abraham and Daryl were taking shots and wheezing over old, stupid stunts from their youth. Glenn and Tara were sober and taking pictures of the idiots before them, and Denise was photobombing them for laughs. Rick and Michonne had to remind everyone of dinner, and they had a good old time. Laughter filled the entire household, and not a single soul could properly breathe from it. It was a great night, not a single person was in a foul mood, so when the party broke up, it was filled with hugs and kisses and long goodbyes.

\--- ---

The pair departed from Rhee house a little after midnight, stumbling down the stairs, and Daryl had to catch Carol before she lost her balance completely. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, a drunken giggle escaping through scarlet lips, and she thanked him before letting go to head home. He was right behind her to ensure she made it home safely, and they were living together now, so it was the same trip home for him regardless.

They made it home in one piece, and the house was dark and muted in sounds. They remembered the girls were at a massive slumber party and headed up the stairs to get closer to their beds. Daryl admitted to sleeping with Mika now and then when she was ten and eleven and couldn’t handle sleep alone, and Carol asked why she needed to sleep with anybody. He said he couldn't remember.

“How can you not remember that?”

“I just don't.” He shrugged and tripped over nothing, and Carol laughed. “That's just rude.”

“No, it's hilarious.” She walked over to him and pointed at him. “You're drunk!”

“No, you're drunk.” He lightly smacked her hand away from his chest, but he widely missed, and she giggled, the sheer sound causing his blood to rush. “You're beautiful.”

Those words seemed to sober Carol as her laughter stopped and big blue eyes shined up at him. He was ready for the retreat. He was armed and ready to be standing alone in the hall, his heart heavy with disappointment and loneliness, his love for her still as massive and unending as always; but all he would have of her was a partnership. They were parents first, and she made that very clear. There was no going any other way right now, but he wished. Fuck did he wish like a child seeing a shooting star, and then he wished some more, because how could he live his life and not have her in it as they once were. It was how they even met up with each other again, through Charlotte's illness and through Noah and Carl, and yet...it felt as though that was the same connection that kept them apart.

   Carol reached up and set her hands on his shoulders, stunning him thoroughly as her lips met his, placing a crushing kiss there. It was a mess of teeth and booze-flavored breaths, but it melted into something sweeter. The time and changes in them and around them faded as his tongue caressed hers, his hands grasping her hips and hiking her dress at the same time; and he moved backwards to pin her against the wall, his thigh parting hers, causing her dress to bunch up above her own thighs.

   Her fingers weaved through his silky hairs, drawing his face in closer as there was too much space between them. They were flush against each other, yet she still felt too far from him. It was the distance nearly four years had brought, and she would close every inch and centimeter between them until she was satisfied. Her knee hooked on his hip, and he fondled her behind, locking her other leg around his hip to pick her up, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulder. She felt they were moving, but she honestly didn't care where they went, just as long as he didn't let go of her.

   The soft blankets of her bed met her back as he laid her out, breaking the kiss for air and to remove his dress shirt and vest, and Carol leaned up on her elbows to watch him undress. The vest came off easily, though she smiled delightfully as he unbuttoned only the top three buttons then attempt to yank it off, but his muscles were too tight to work the angle. She giggled and rose up to help him, popping open button after button until they were all undone and her fingers were gliding the rough material down his shoulders and forearms to let it fall at his feet.

   She wrapped her legs around his thighs, he walked forward, and she kissed the new scars on his torso. Soft lips met silvery marks over and over, fingertips following in their wake and goosebumps rose up on Daryl's skin as his member pounded against the trappings of his jeans, hot and aching. It had been so long since he'd actually had sex with her, but he had memories and desires and dreams that made him able to detach himself from the world and enjoy a long shower or a quiet night in bed. He didn't need those, and he hoped he wouldn't need them ever again.

   Carol pushed on his hips to signal him to move back, releasing his thighs, and she rose up from the bed, turning to her side and raising her arm. She laughed softly at his confusion but noted the zipper. He tugged it down, his eyes widening as she shimmed out of the dress and stood before him in only a maroon undergarment set that accentuated her creamy skin, and his mouth watered at the thought of tasting every inch of that creamy skin over and over, leaving red marks in his lips wake.

They found each other, lips met and every ache, every gaping hole, everything created in the absent of being whole, was gone. It only took a bit of liquid courage to get them to this point. It was much needed, a release, a welcome home, a reunion of being truly whole after all this time.

It was completion after months of being half a human. It was finding home after being lost in the storm for years. It was more than it was before. It was overwhelming, and it was clinging together. Grasping each other, holding each other, thrusting and nails digging in, kissing and moaning. It was a perfect mess of need and love, and it was better than any dream or any memory. It was more than sex, more than making love, and they climbed higher and higher, reaching the very heavens.

Daryl gripped the frame of the bed to keep from gripping her as tightly, pumping his hips faster and faster, loosing his hold on the world as she called out his name and gripped his forearms. He clenched his jaw to try and hold himself back, because he wanted to be with her longer, but he couldn’t. He dropped his hand and reared up, coming hard and heavy, and he moaned her name as he did so.

“Carol.” He panted and tried not to collapse on top of her, but his limbs felt like pudding, and he didn’t want to pull away from her; so, he lowered himself down on top of her carefully, holding her to his chest and rolling so she was on top. “Christ.”

She buried her face in his chest and giggled—actually giggled—grinning like an idiot. “I love you so much.” She lifted her head and shifted on top of him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more,” he whispered, reaching up to stroke her cheek, and pulling her in for another kiss.

She weaved her fingers through his hair and sealed his mouth with her own, knowing they had plenty to talk about, but that was for after. Right now, it was just the two of them, getting lost in each other, making up for lost time, making up for every fight they never got to have, for every missed anniversary, for every missed everything and then some. It would be a sore morning conversation, but they would earn it. 


	16. Fall On Me

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Carol woke up instantly at the sound of birds chirping, her head pounding from the wine and scotch and shots she had done the prior night with Maggie in the kitchen, and she wanted to curl up into a ball and die. She hated drinking, and she couldn't recall exactly why she had drunken so much. She must have been a mess last night.

She inhaled a groan and tried to push herself up, but there was weight there. She tried once more time, this time a groan came, and there was something pressing against her thigh. She almost panicked but arms and familiar tattoo soothed her. She felt a delightfully familiar pain pass through her body and smiled blissfully, lowering herself down onto the bed and nuzzling her face into her pillow for a few moments of shut-eye.

When Carol roused for the second time, Daryl was no longer on top of her. She shot up and looked around the room to see he wasn't in the room at all, and her heart sank. She sat up and hugged the sheet to her chest, frowning at how clean the room suddenly was. She didn't understand. Did Daryl wake up and clean the room? That didn't make any sense unless the girls came home and found them in bed together. She highly doubted the girls were home. It was far too quiet for that to be true, so…where was he?

She had one foot on the floor when the bedroom door opened, and Daryl walked in with a tray of food. She slipped her foot back under the covers, and she smiled warmly at him and the sight of real food. She accepted the tray, and he sat down across from her, placing his hands over hers to keep the tray steady while he leaned over and kissed her.

"Good mornin'."

"Good morning." She smiled at him, relief flooding her body at the joy of him still being here and having made breakfast for them to eat. "You didn't have to do this."

"I know, but I woke up starvin', so I figured you might be, too."

"After last night?" Carol laughed lightly. "Yes."

"Good." He couldn't repress the smirk.

They ate in silence. Daryl chewed on toast slowly, savoring the taste of butter soften toasted bread, the slight spread of strawberry jam adding flavor. He looked cautiously over at Carol as she ate her eggs, seeing how she was holding herself back from devouring the entire meal before her. He almost laughed at how she was trying to control her impulse, considering all they had done last night and considering how many times he's seen her cram food down her throat after a long night at the prison. He almost commented that she didn't have to act all prim and proper around him, but soon she dropped the fork and took the thinly sliced venison "bacon" in her fingers and tore into it like the woman he knew and loved. The smile couldn't be contained.

"What? I'm hungry." She licked grease off her bottom lip and smirked at him. "Be lucky you didn't see me pregnant eating. I was a savage, and I blame your DNA."

"How was that even on me? I was literally miles away. Probably wasn't even in the same state."

"It's your baby I was carrying, so I was a savage eater because of it."

"I wish I coulda seen it. You all pregnant and cranky." He tried to fight off a frown as he reached over and helped himself to a piece of bacon. "Been there to help you through labor, hold Charli when she was...a newborn."

"I wasn't cranky." That was a lie. She was incredibly cranky. She had no sense of herself while she was pregnant. She was bitter and annoyed and hunger pretty much for two solid months, but Denise helped break it down. She spent her last few months happy and laughing and swollen everywhere. She was in a good place, though, before labor. She was surprised how quickly it went considering Sophia had a long labor process. Oh well, it didn't matter now. "I was...not entirely pleasant to be around either."

"Did you...get...you know, like...aroused easy?"

"Not when I was pregnant. I spent most of it on the run, so no, but...after I had given birth, a couple months afterward, I started having dreams about you. I'd wake up right in the middle of us, and I'd draw a bath."

"A bath?"

"Yes, a bath. I'd take Charlotte's bassinet into Denise's room and masturbate in the bath." She picked up a piece of toast and bit into it, holding her fingers to her lips to add. "It made you feel close to me. It wasn't just all about release. It was...comforting."

"Yeah, me too."

She twisted her lips into a seductive grin. "You did it, too?"

His cheeks flushed red as he stammered to answer, his heart nervously skipping a beat ridiculously as they had just done more than he had thought when he was alone in the shower, and he felt like a boy again. "Sometimes," he murmured. "Missed you... I had needs, too, you know."

"I'm not shaming you, Daryl. You know me better than that. I'm...kinda turned on by the idea of it, to be honest." She blushed shamelessly, and she finished off her piece of toast. "Remember when we were in the shower, and we almost got caught by Carl?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I had you against the wall, and he could only see my feet since your legs were around my waist. He threw me off, kept talkin' to me."

"That was the first time we didn't finish, and we had to wait for him to leave, so the water went ice cold, and I caught a fever a couple days later."

"Yeah, but I made up for it." He was on patrol inside the prison, just to keep an eye on the new people and ensure they were getting along well and dealing with any issues that might arise or had arisen. He heard her groaning and moaning and thought she was doing something else, but she was on the early stages of her cold, and he held her for a bit, but she was too hot then too cold. So, he just sat at the foot of her bed and eyed her for about thirty minutes while she lied there, looking at the ceiling with a pink-tipped nose, feeling miserable. Then he kissed her and tugged her cargo pants down, leaving kisses down her belly, and she playfully told him to stop, because it was the middle of the day, and people could come to check on her due to her fever, but it only made it better. He devoured every thrust and every shudder of pleasure she gave. It wasn't about him; it was fully about her, and it felt sensational—to see her unravel around him without wanting anything in return. She melted against the bed, panting and pink and breathless, and she felt asleep to him holding her.

Sadly, he had to let her go, because Mika wanted to check up on her, and he got pulled away by Rick, but he let Mika watch over her while he was gone. Luckily, he did leave, because Mika catch her cold, too, and it was a whole week of coughing and running noses and watery broths. It was terrible, but also amazing. He got to hang out with Mika and Carol, reading comics and books and talking. It was nice, even though he was outside the cell and wasn't allowed to hold or comfort Carol. He hoped to do something like it again—only minus the illness.

"You did." She shifted on the mattress and inhaled softly. "Are the kids home?"

"No."

"Good, because we need to talk, and I don't want them to overhear before we're done. It's going to be a long talk. One you've been waiting for, I think."

"A talk on our relationship?"

"Yes." She nodded and pulled her leg up to her chest, wrapping an arm around it and licking her lips. "You have been the single most important person to me for the longest time, and I don't know what the future has in store for us. All I know is I want to be with you and our girls, because you are the future I've been building towards. I can't go another minute without you in my life as my best friend, my lover, the father to my children. I can't go back to the way things were. It's been impossible…being apart from you…and I am sorry if I hurt you with this distance. I never meant to. I just needed…. No, I thought I needed time, but I really just needed you. I love you, and… This isn't the long conversation I had planned out, because honestly I am fucking sick and tired of long conversations when you can just be kissing me, and everything else fades awa—"

He took that cue to lean in and press his lips against hers, moving the tray slightly out of the way, and Carol pulled back. He frowned, sure he had read and heard correctly, and she set the tray down on the floor beside them.

"There's nothing sexy about making a mess." She giggled and leaned in for another kiss, which he provided—again and again and again—removing the sheet between them and the clothes he had thrown on to make love to the sexy woman before him.

* * *

Mika and Charli were having breakfast with the other kids, laughing at Rick and his voices as he read stories to the kids, and Mika wondered when Mom and Daryl would be by to pick them up. Aaron and Jesus came and picked Grace up bright and early, and Maggie and Glenn ere on the way over to pick up Hershel and check in with Beth and Noah, who never made it to the party, but were super kissy and kept slipping away to the Daryl's old bedroom. Carl and Enid called them out on it, and Mika heard some bits of a conversation that made her talk with Daryl make even more sense. In a gross, icky way, though.

"Where's Mommy?" Charli inquired, eating her eggs and okra. "And Daddy?"

"They're having some parent time, baby." Michonne crossed her legs under the table and added some more okra to the plate. "Eat up, and we'll go play by the pond, check on the frogs.

"Do you mean it?" Judy asked across the table, and Michonne nodded.

"Frogs?" Charlotte's blue eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, and she could hardly contain herself. She wanted to jump up onto the table and demand to see all the frogs. She had never seen one before, and she hoped it was going to be as amazing as she imagined from the stories Mommy told her about them. She had seen pictures in books, but Mommy promised a doodle wasn't the same. It made her sad to not be able to see a purple froggie. Or a blue one. Well, not from these parts, so Mommy told her.

"Yes, frogs and tadpoles." It was odd for them to be there at this time of year, but she wasn't going to argue a learning experience. She hoped they survived. It would be amazing to catch one for a class pet. She would have to ask Nina, Tyreese and Beth, because it would be their responsibility until the kids learned how to take care of things and people all on their own. "Judy has some old coats you can put on, sweetie." She brushed hair out of her face to see he face, smiling warmly at her.

"Thank you, Aunt Michy."

She repressed a chuckle and looked over at Rick, who was smiling behind his cup of coffee, and murmured, "I knew that was going to stick."

"I've heard worse from Uncle Merle," Rick murmured back, setting a hand on her thigh and gently rubbing her thigh through her jeans.

They finished their meal, Michonne had the kids help her with the dishes, and Mika was the first to volunteer to lend a hand. Carl and Enid helped by drying the plates, and Hershel went home with his parents, who thanked them and looked over the art and crafts projects he'd made. Charli had made her mommy and daddy gifts, but they weren't here to pick her up just yet. She couldn't help but pout about that fact, however; Mika cheered her up by smacking on a bubble beard and making her laugh and forget about it.

They bundled up to brace themselves for any cold winds, Charlotte held onto Mika and RJ's hands while Michonne and Judith walked ahead of them and Rick picked up the rear with Carl and Enid. They made their way to the pond, Michonne found the section where the frogs were, and the kids were super stoked to see the little buggers. It was precious.

Enid rested her head on Carl's shoulder and imagined a future of their own in this world, but perhaps not together, but at least as their own people in this world. She was proud of who she had become with Maggie and Glenn and Hershel, but she had growing of her own to do. She wondered how she was to do that in the months and years to come. She would have to wait and see what would come her way. Perhaps she would have to forge her own path in this world—away from Glenn, Maggie and Hershel—and rebuild herself once more.

Carl smiled to himself at the sight of his siblings and inhaled deeply, admiring the beauty before him. He was able to enjoy this moment, and no matter what came next, he would find the beauty in the world. The ugly and the bad had taken much of his life, but he would do all he could to ensure it took nothing more from him. His mother would want that, and he would honor her memory in this way. It was a vow to Lori Grimes, to himself, and to any children and partner he may have. His family deserved the best version of himself, and while he was still working on becoming that person, he would do all in his power to ensure it was a good and kind best version.

They soaked in the nature for a few hours, playing a few games away from the pond, and the kids wore themselves out to the point of Rick having to carry Charli inside, Michonne having to carry RJ in, and Carl had to help Judith back into the house. They were all put down for a mid-noon nap.

Judy and RJ and Charli were passed out in the upstairs guest bedroom, Carl and Enid started a fire downstairs, and Rick and Michonne curled up on the couch. They spoke softly, an unsaid promise to keep Charli and Mika as late as possible to allow Daryl and Carol time to sort themselves out. They had aired out a lot of issues last night with two mildly drunken adults and would them to do adult things to each other—talking and such. Sex, if it came to that, and they wouldn't let their daughters interrupt in case it was negative. Like fighting or tension or anything. They would let it happen as it would and let the girls go home tomorrow. They would understand when they were older.

* * *

Daryl woke the second time that day to the smell of shampoo in his nose and hunger in his belly, and he felt movement against him—the sliding of a perfect ass against his front—and he smiled, not bothering to open his eyes and kissing the soft curls on her head. He moaned when she intentionally rubbed her ass against his groin, and the hunger that once rolled through his belly now boiled and carved her.

He rocked his hips against her, she reached back and grasped his hand from her hip, his nails digging in as she fell into the motion, and he shifted them so that he was on top of her, his member heavy and burning. His lips crushed against hers, his body moving into position as her legs opened and welcomed him, and he entered her slowly, his tongue gliding across hers and demanding more. So much more.

"Fuck," he hissed at her hard thrusts, air feeling his lungs at the expected speed she offered, and he met it, kissing her rough and hard, leaving her lips bruises and swollen, he was sure. He didn't care. He was blind with need for her, bucking against her like an animal in heat, lifting her up so her body met his. Gripping her ass in his hand, nails digging in then fingers massaging while his other hand balanced his weight.

She moaned as he murmured her name into her neck, kissing along the curves there, and he traced his tongue along her line of her throat, leaving a glistening path in its wake. He released her glorious ass and wet his fingers, seeing her eyes darken with desire as she knew what he was going to do with those wet tips. He kissed her gently and reached between their still moving bodies inside of her.

The moan she released as he teased and tapped her clit nearly made him come right then and there, but he held himself back until her walls began to tighten and clench. Until her back arched ever so slightly off the bed. Until those red lips formed his name then he allowed himself sweet, hard release.

They collapsed back onto the bed, breathless and panting, and Daryl wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulders and just loving her. He was beyond happy. He felt fucking blissful. He felt whole and human and like the world had never ended but came together to show him the way to such a precious, precious love. It extended to her and to their daughters. Though they weren't on his mind much with his gorgeous woman in his arms.

"Good evening to you, too," Carol laughed and looked over her shoulder at him, twisting her arm to grasp his shoulder, and he kissed her brow. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her against him. "I love every inch of you."

"Oh, every inch?" She arched a brow at him, chuckling softly in disbelief. "You are still high from sex, Daryl Dixon."

"Nah, I'm high on you."

"Okay, now I really believe you've lost your mind." She tried to sit up, but he wouldn't let her, and she smirked at him. "I have to pee."

He narrowed his eyes. "I haven't lost my mind. I mean it."

"Okay, so you mean it. I still have to pee." She peeled herself away from him and slipped out of bed, pausing on the way to her bathroom. "Hey, you wanna grab a shower? We can get out of my bed and maybe see our kids today."

"I'll join you in the shower, but I gotta take a piss myself."

"So charming."

He threw the blanket off himself and went after her, causing her to squeal in surprise, her heart skipping a beat, and he kissed her lightly. "I'll show you how charmin' I can be, just you wait."

"You don't have to make up for lost time all in one day."

"I ain't tryin' to make up for lost time, just want you all to myself today." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead once more. "Can I have today?"

"You can have all of my nights, but the days belong to our children." She could have sworn she was looking at their daughter at the pout that passed across his face. "It's night now, you big baby."

He blushed and avoided her eyes. "Shut up," he whispered.

She laughed. "Wow, now you're ten years old, and no shower sex is in your future." She pulled out of his arms and grasped the door, using it like a shield to put something between them, leaning against it to cover her naked body. "Good night, Daryl."

"That's just hurtful." He didn't mean to pout like a child who had lost his good boy privileges, but he couldn't help it. He needed today to soak her up and then he'd be able to control himself come tomorrow. He hoped, anyway. "C'mon, I'm sorry. Don't make me leave."

"Leave?" Her brows furrowed now. "Daryl, this is our bedroom now. I'm not making you leave anything but the room you previously were in so we can turn it into a bedroom for Charli." She watched him instantly perk right back up and move in to kiss her, and she giggled again, accepting his kiss and his embrace, knowing tonight was going to be a lovely, long night.

* * *

"You know the entire town is going to know we're sleeping together," Carol sleepily murmured to Daryl, now curled up in bed together, all warm and clean in pajamas. "And we'll have to explain where we were to Charli."

"We'll come up with somethin'."

"I don't want to lie to her. Let's just edit the truth." She nuzzled her face against his chest and inhaled his scent, eyelid growing heavy and a big yawn escaped through her lips. "Maybe we can just…tell them Mommy and Daddy had a big talk and decided to be together."

"Yeah, sounds good." He brushed his fingers over her hair and repressed a yawn of his own, not wanting to miss a moment with her. "Mika's gonna know the truth, though."

"She probably will." If Rick and Michonne gossip about them like Carol knew they were then they would have to sit down and have an adult talk with Mika. Carol didn't want to do that, because Mika was too young for it, but at the same time she was at the right age to know. She wouldn't scar the child with unnecessary information, simply the knowledge that they were in an adult relationship and might need help now and then keeping Charli out of their bedroom.

That was going to be a trick now. Charlotte has gotten used to sleeping with Carol, and now Daryl was in the bed, and they couldn't all shack up together in here. Carol had needs, and so did Daryl. Clearly by his reactions to movement in this bed—lusty reactions or grabbing to cuddle against morning wood—it was for sure certain he wasn't ready for Charli to be sleeping with them, and neither was Carol, because she leaned into it, as they had in the prison.

But this wasn't the prison. They were parents, and they had to be prepared for nightmares and midnight visits from either child. Carol would lean Charlotte to try and settle with Mika for a time if it wasn't too bad, but she would have to train her on it, and it'd be so difficult, because Carol loved late night Charli cuddles. She loved to hold her baby girl and sooth her. It was her favorite thing to do in bed without Daryl around, but she did need to grow out of it. Charlotte had to learn how to battle her on demons, especially in this world, but Carol would ween her off slowly. It was mostly for Carol's sake, to protect her baby girl's heart and Carol's mommy heart. There was little comfort in knowing Charli had to battle her on demons, but Carol had to step back sometimes. It was how Charli grew as her own person. It was how she could become the strong woman Carol had been raising since month five.

"Good night." Daryl kissed the creased brow of his worry-sleeping love, and he felt a burst of energy course through him. He had to resist the urge to kiss every part of her out of sheer love and excitement of being back together. He was beyond thankful for Charli's shitty immune system and Noah's town being on the course of the wolves. He knew it wasn't the best event to be thankful for, but it brought them home—and not just to him.

He had his world back and, in his arms, in his heart, and so did Maggie. She had an important piece back, and Noah had the best person for him with him now. He didn't know what would happen now that they were all back together—truly together—but he hoped—maybe even prayed—that it was all uphill from here. Four years of agony was enough for a lifetime, and perhaps that was the worst of it. Or, should something worst come their way, they would be able to handle it together as a team and become better people and warriors from it. He didn't know, but he was ready to grow and spend the rest of his life with this lovely woman and their daughters come way may, they would build a way through, always.


	17. The Return; My Darling

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

Daryl scrubbed his hair in the shower, debating on how he would approach the subject of being back with Carol to the kids and nearly wanted to pull his hair out, but at the feel of a washcloth against his shoulder, he relaxed. He stepped out of his head and remembered he wasn't alone in this talk. He wasn't alone in anything ever again.

They cleaned each other up, and Daryl was tempted to take her right after the shower, but there was a noise from downstairs that told him they weren't alone, and he didn't want his daughters to walk in on them. He didn't want to be interrupted. Though mostly walked in on, because he didn't want to have this conversation with either of his daughters. They were too young, and he was too awkward for that shit.

"Mom? Daryl?" Mika called from the hall, being very loud about her steps and her calling to them. "We're hom—Charli, wait! Slow down!"

"Mommy!" Charlotte came barreling into the bedroom, eyes scanning the room before landing on the bodies of her parents. "Daddy!" She ran over to them and latched onto Carol's waist, hugging her tightly and grinning up at her. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Carol returned her smile and ruffled her hair. "What have you been up to?"

"So much." Her sapphire orbs lit up and sparkled, and she turned to the door where Mika was standing with a backpack belonging to the child. She was smiling happily at the sight of their parents, and Charlotte was bouncing up and down now, still holding onto her mother. "Show them, sissy, show them!"

"Sissy?" Daryl softly inquired.

"Show us?" Carol spoke over him, seeing him smirk at the use of the world in a kind way, instead of the way Merle likely used it. It was a happy smirk, but too low to be a smile. He must have gotten caught up on the part about Merle.

"We made some crafts at the Grimes'." Mika entered and climbed onto the bed, noticing the blankets were different from the last time Mika had seen them yesterday morning, and she felt comfortable sitting down. She unzipped the bag and began to unload the items they had made.

Daryl scooped Charli up and set her down on the bed, joining his daughters, and Carol lingered for a moment, watching Daryl finger the popsicle stick dream catchers and the bead bracelets. Her heart warmed, and she knew then there was something she and he would have to do later.

Until then Carol joined her daughters and Daryl on the bed, accepting the small charm bracelet from her daughters. They had made it together, and it was a bit uneven and only had one charm, but it was perfect. She loved it.

"You'll wear it always?" Charli inquired, watching her mother tying the bracelet around her wrist, and Carol nodded. "You have to promise."

"I promise to wear it always." She held a hand out to show it was a vow, and Charli reached out and placed her hand against her mom's. Her little fingers didn't come close to matching up to Carol's, but it was something they used to do when Charli was two. It was their version of a promise, and it was the only way to make a silent deal that Denise couldn't judge Carol for.

"Here, Daryl, this is yours." Mika handed it to him. "I made this one all by myself. Do you like it?"

It wasn't as clumsily made as Carol's, the brown and green rope twisting together almost perfectly, and there wasn't a single charm on it. It was actual to his taste, and he was happy to wear it.

"I do." He fitted it around his wrist and tightened the strings. "Thanks."

"What do you say to stop calling him Daryl?" Carol suggested, and Mika met her eyes with confusion and slight disappointment. "We're your parents now, so I think it's appropriate to call him Dad. Don't you agree?"

"Dad?" Mika shifted on the bed and stammered slightly. "I don't know. I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. I mean I know it's been years since my dad died, but… I don't want to feel like I'm replacing him. You know?"

She nodded. "I understand. It is up to you. I just wanted you to know you could call him as such, and it wouldn't be the end of the world. I…didn't know you were holding back because of Ryan. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled at her. "It's in my past, but it's also in my future, too. I'll decide when it feels right and let you know."

"Take your time." Daryl set a hand on her head and rocked her head a bit, causing her to full on grin, and he smiled at her. "Okay?"

"Okay." She nodded. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat somethin'." Daryl checked the time and noticed it was nearly noon. "We should get lunch goin'. C'mon."

"Can we have cake?" Charli inquired, sliding off the side of the bed and grasping her dad's hand with big, pleading eyes. "Please?"

"Maybe after dinner, but not with lunch."

She immediately dropped hiss hand and groaned loudly, marching out the door with Mika. She clasped her hand for aid with the stairs, and Daryl started to head out after them, but Carol called to him.

"What?" He gripped the door frame and met her eyes.

"I need a favor." She approached him and lowered her voice. "I have to go back to the grove."

Color drained away from his face as his heart slowed in its beating, and his fingers went numb on the door frame. He tried to think of something to say, but there were no words. His mouth felt sewn shut with peanut butter trapped inside. He could only gulp.

"It's not me moving back to the grove," she hastily corrected at his blanching. "I have some items I intentionally left behind that I need. Clothes, medicine, food, seeds."

"Why would you intentionally leave those behind?" he demanded, the peanut butter affect gone, and he tripped inside the door. "You knew about us. You knew we were home. I mean, you knew where your home was. Why leave things behind?"

"Because of Rick and what he said to me. Because I wasn't sure if I would be welcomed back. I wasn't sure I even wanted to come back!" she snapped, forgetting her reasons for being hushed in the first place. "You don't know what it's like to have someone look you dead in the eye and know you and say the things Rick said, to believe them after months alone on the road. You don't know how much…."

"What did he say?"

"I don't remember the words so much as the tone." She crossed her arms across her chest. "I… I was worried, but I'm not anymore. I'm settled. My girls are settled. I don't have to worry about anything but getting items I left behind."

"We'll leave tonight then." He finished the conversation with that and walked out of the room.

"Wait… we?" She caught up to him in the hall. "Daryl, I'm an adult. I can handle getting my stuff all on my own. And you can trust me to come back. It's not like I'll run off with our daughters and never come back. That's fucked up of you to even consider."

"I—it ain't like that. I know you won't run off. This is about strength in numbers. It's been weeks since you were last there, and I don't know who or what has been there. Or is still there." He inhaled deeply. "I need you safe, no matter what, okay? So, I am going with you."

She smiled tenderly at him. "You…are more charming than you can know." She stroked his cheek. "We'll leave tonight."

* * *

It was after midnight when Carol carried Charlotte down the street while Daryl and Mika held hands and strolled behind her, shivering at the cold weather. The three of them approached Michonne and Rick who were waiting to babysit and keep an eye on the kiddos. Glenn and Maggie had tomorrow night if they were delayed, but the Grimes had dibs since Michonne was kind of the unofficial godmother of Carol's daughters. She hadn't said as much, but they had a bond. One that was unspoken and deep, through shared wounds and gains, and it wasn't much of a title to be won, but it had been won long ago. Even if Michonne didn't want to speak on her losses, Carol knew there was something similar about them, and it wasn't the abs and daily crunches.

"Hey, there." Michonne was on the porch, wrapped up in a blanket, smiling at the sight of a sleeping baby Dixon and a chilly Samuels-Dixon. And of course the parents, but kids were the first people she saw. It was a habit. "Oh, c'mere."

Carol chuckled at the open blanket with waiting arms and passed Charli over to her, careful to not rouse the child, but not even fireworks in her nose could wake her. She truly slept like her father and uncle prior to the world ending.

"Judy will have a couple of good surprises come the morning." Michonne smoothed down Mika's hair and pulled her in to kiss her brow. "We'll take care of them for you."

"I know you will." She stepped back into Daryl's shoulder and gripped the keys in her hand. "We'll be back as soon we can, okay?"

"Take your time. You never know what you might find," Mika suggested then reached out for another goodbye hug. It was a three-way hug, and Carol kissed her hair. "I love you guys. Be safe."

"We will be."

Rick joined them then, Carol excused herself to the gate, and Daryl said they needed to talk next time they had a chance. Rick reminded him of the wedding, which was postponed due to this little trip, but they always wanted a fall wedding. It was cooler in the day, chilly at night, and it'd be nice to have an bonfire at the reception. It'd be nice.

"You know, you and Glenn are my best men, so don't get into trouble out there." Rick set a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Take care of each other."

"'Course." He nodded and headed to the gate where Carol and the car were. He sneaked up to her and snatched the keys, sliding around to the driver's side. She immediately protested with he didn't know the way. "We got maps for a reason, and you need to rest. I'm good on a long drive."

She huffed. "Fine, but you can't make me sleep."

They climbed into the car, Daryl silently accepted the challenge, and Carol reached into the backseat to grab a blanket. It was easier than using the gas on heat, and she snuggled under it, feeling Daryl's smirk. She rolled her eyes and told him to keep his eyes on the road. He chuckled then and said okay.

It was only thirty minutes into the drive when he heard Carol's breathing even out, he looked over when she moaned sleepily, and he adjusted the falling blanket. He smiled to himself and decided to enjoy the ride out to her old home. It wasn't like she'd suddenly claim to want to stay there. It was an irrational fear. She would never abandon her daughters. Their daughters. He just had to push it back until they were home again. He just hoped it was sooner rather than later.

Carol woke up when Daryl had parked the car, white streaked across the navy sky, and she drew in the chilly air. She pushed the blanket back and rubbed her palm of her hand against her eye, feeling that the seat beside her was empty.

"Daryl?" She looked over and saw he was gone, so she pushed the blanket off her completely and stood up, popping open the car door and stepping out. It was then she could hear nature waking—the birds singing, the animals lightly trotting out, the stiff morning breeze, and of course the sound of a morning wiz. She chuckled to herself and reached into the duffel bag to get her small chunk of toilet paper then found a spot to relief herself.

The pair returned to the car at the same time, Daryl looked like walking death, so Carol made him take a nap. He was drowsy and a little frisky, hugging her and groping her when she passed. She didn't mind it, but he was too tired to finish it, and being in the middle of the cold and in a small car, it wasn't ideal. She told him later, and he tripped over his own feet to eye her.

"Later," she repeated and got into the driver's seat.

"What, we're gonna break in your old bed?" he mused, snuggling up under her blanket and her scent.

"Maybe, if you play your cards right." She started the car and pulled out, giving him a smile.

The rest of the drive out to the grove passed with snoring then a stop for food and then a stop for real rest. They put the back seats down and tossed out the pillows and curled up together after ensuring the car was hidden by branches and trees.

"I missed you," Daryl commented, stroking her hair.

"How can you miss me? I'm right here." She nuzzled her face into his chest. "It's so cold."

"I know. Your icy ass toes are digging into my ankles."

"Then I'm not trying hard enough." She curled into him more, and he groaned playfully like it was unbearable. "Better."

He kissed her forehead and smirked. "You know somethin'?"

"I know many things, but what exactly do you mean?"

"We make a good lookin' kid." He commented. "Almost wish we had more."

"Well, that's a thought, but…you know, I can't. Not anymore." She searched his eyes and felt a bit guilty at the disappointment there. "Daryl, I—"

"No, it's fine." Just another thing Rick took away from him. "Don't feel guilty or anythin'. It's just the way it is. It's okay." He smiled at her and kissed her. "Probably wouldn't survive those explosive diapers anyhow."

"Oh, you haven't lived till you've had an overflown diaper on your lap," she jested.

"That sounds so fuckin' gross."

"It is—and all you can do is sit there and wait." Especially since it was halfway over by the time Carol realized the little grunt wasn't a playful one. And the smell. It haunted her.

He chuckled and rolled over, kissing her shoulder. "No more shit talk. Let's get some sleep."

"Charli is hardly potty trained, so we'll have more shitty accidents as she adjusts."

He nodded. "Go to sleep."

"And we'll have to help with our grandchildren."

His eyes snapped wide open, and he leaned back away from her. "Whoa, whoa, she ain't even got a period yet. Why the hell you mentionin' grandkids?!"

"Mika."

He groaned for real this time, and it bumbled in his chest as it prolonged, and she giggled. "Why are we talkin' about this?"

"Because she'll be fourteen then fifteen then all grown up and twenty-something and wanting babies with some handsome young gentleman. Or she'll stumble upon abandoned furbabies, and we'll have to potty train." She set a hand on his chest and smiled at him. "We'll be lucky if it's the latter, but she's becoming a beautiful young woman. She'll attract many guys, or girls, so if she wants their attention, she'll definitely have it."

"I always didn't understand how dads could be so possessive over their daughters, but now I get it. I don't want to be controllin', but I want her to be safe and happy." Blue eyes peeked over at her. "You know what I mean?"

"After my track record, I completely know what you mean." She nodded. "We'll raise her well. She'll know how to handle herself. I'm sure of it."

"I'm givin' her a knife when we get home."

"She already has a knife—my old one."

"Well, I'm givin' her a bigger one."

She giggled, and the honey sound reverberated through him like music in a chapel in his chest. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips, and she teased him. "You're so precious. I like this shade on you."

"I ain't a shade."

"You're so a shade of a red right now. I'd say it's a blush."

"Shut up." His arms left her body to fold across his chest while pink sprang up on his cheeks and down his neck in an even stroke.

"Did I hurt your man feelings?" She gripped his arm and rested her cheek on his shoulder.

He heaved a sigh and avoided eye contact. "I don't have "man feelings"," he grumbled.

"Aww, I did." She laughed and kissed his chest, to which his response was to turn away, and she repressed the next laugh. "Daryl, come on."

"Good night."

"Oh, come on." She set her hand on his hip and peered over his shoulder at him trying to sleep. She knew he wasn't really upset, just thoroughly embarrassed, which he never knew how to handle. She exhaled softly and glided her hand from his hip down to the front of his jeans, feeling him stiffen and his eyes lids shut even tighter in anticipation. "Come on, Daryl, don't be mad."

She nudged the hairs back from his ear with her nose and kissed the skin above his ear, her hand gently brushed over the front of his jeans, and he gulped—actually  _gulped_ —at the touch. Her tongue traced the edge of his ear before teeth sank into the lobe with a playful tug, and her fingers unzipped his jeans, popping open the button to his jeans. Her teeth dug in, causing him to hiss, and she slipped her hand into his jeans, grasping him through his boxers, and the hiss became a strangled moan.

She leaned over to find his mouth, stroking his length and feeling it harden and expand, and he rolled her onto her side, facing her now. His tongue claiming dominance over hers, and he pulled her closer under the blanket, his hands moving down to the waistband of her jeans and undoing the buttons and zipper, and for a moment she thought he was going to remove her hand and take her awkwardly in the backseat; but he instead broke the kiss to wet a few fingers before he reached inside her jeans and panties and parted her lips to find her hidden pearl.

His mouth found hers against in the dark, his fingers massaging and lightly tapping against her walls and her clit, and she almost lost focus on her hand in his pants, but the heated member brought her back into reality. It had been years since the last time they had done this, and it felt incredible: to focus only on the other person's pleasure instead of making love. It wasn't fucking. That was too harsh for how much they oved each other, but it was…not making love or having sex at the same time. It was more than a handjob. It was…more but less at the same time, if that made any sense to anybody but them.

"Fuck," Daryl hissed against her lips. "Carol….!"

"Oh, God, Daryl," she purred, gasping as her walls tightened deliciously, her breaths falling short, and she had to focus on getting him off before she lost herself entirely. It was a mess of foggy windows, short, pleasured breaths, sloppy kisses and finally—finally—sweet, sweet release.

They melted against their makeshift bed and each other, and Daryl nuzzled his lips against her brow before placing a kiss there, and she mentioned cleaning up the mess, but suddenly both were too exhausted to even care. Though Daryl knew she had a point and decided to deal with it sooner rather than later, and she took the opportunity to watch him carefully strip pants and boxers off and clean himself.

"See somethin' you like?" He was joking, but she nodded and sank her teeth into her bottom lip. "Well, what are you gonna do about it?"

She grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary, and it wasn't the only thing she swallowed that night.

* * *

Charlotte woke up to Mika trying to sneak out of bed without waking her, and narrow blue eyes met apologetic orbs, and she sat up with wild hair, looking for the familiarity of Mika's room. Instead she found the room Daddy used to live in and frowned. She knew Mommy and Daddy had to leave to head back to the grove for stuff, but she had hoped they'd change their mind and take her with them. She was more than disappointed.

"Let's go get breakfast." Mika held her hand out to her. "C'mon."

"Why do we always get left behind?" She crawled over and clasped her sister's hand.

"Just 'cause we're kids, I guess." She opened the bedroom door and walked her to the bathroom to wash up for breakfast. "We'll take a trip with them real soon, I bet."

"We'd better."

They washed up for breakfast and found Beth was cooking them breakfast as Michonne had a meeting with Maggie and Glenn, and Rick had to patrol the new quarter with Abraham and Tobin. So Beth offered to come and cook for the kids since she had to teach them anyway. She'd just walk with them to class.

"Good mornin'." She smiled and scraped pancakes off onto a plate and set two down in front of Judith and RJ. "Have a seat."

"Beth, what are you doing here?" Mika helped Charli into a seat and sat beside her. "Not that I mind, just curious." She worried it came out ruder than she intended.

"Your temporary guards are out of the house, so I thought I'd come and make breakfast for you guys. I am your teacher, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day." She smiled and handed over their plates. "Eat up, and we'll walk to class together."

"Even me?" Charli reached for her plate and asked Mika for syrup.

"Even you, but it's just to help you read and write. Noah will be working on you."

"Yay, I love reading!" She bit into a pancake and smiled happily. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

"So, this is the grove?" Daryl inquired, looking over the area and seeing Carol picking some fall flowers. "What're you doin'?"

"Paying respects." She walked around to the backyard, Daryl followed behind her, and they strolled over to a grave. Daryl could tell it was a grave by the dead flowers marking it, and by the little marker on the ground. "It's Hershel's grave."

"Oh." He swallowed with difficult at the name of his favorite nephew's namesake. "Well…hell."

She set the flowers down on the grave and said a small prayer to honor the departed man, and she rose, reaching over and slipping her fingers through Daryl's, and he immediately reciprocated the motion. "I hope you're resting well and watching over your family."

He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Bet he is."

They lingered there for a moment to honor the memory of a great man then headed to the door and checked to see it was still locked up. Carol had found a set of keys a couple weeks after moving in with Denise, so she used them now and pulled her gun out, slipping inside with Daryl on her heels. They tiptoed down the halls and broke at the fork, checking each and every room, every closet, behind every door and under every bed. The house had remained untouched, and they met in the living room, nodding to signal to the other it was safe.

Carol holstered her gun and headed to her former bedroom, touching the quilt thoughtfully and sitting down. She looked up when Daryl entered the room. "A lot of memories in here."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nodded her head. "Charli took her first steps over there. She said her first word in my lap here. Denise and I bonded over my looted items in here. I…thought about us in here. I read Charli to sleep in here every single night."

"Go back to us." He leaned against the frame.

She chuckled and stood up. "Let's just get my stuff and go home."

"No, no, no." He caught her shoulders and stilled her movements, reaching down and picking her up off the floor. She gasped and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I asked you a question."

She laughed. "What are you gonna do if I don't answer?"

"Well, I could tell you, but I'd rather show you." He set her down on the bed and pulled his belt off, gently placing it on the floor as it holstered his knife and gun. He did the same with her belt, leaning over her. "Tell me about us."

"No." She pressed her lips tightly together.

He yanked her pants off, she squealed at the quick movement, and he parted her legs so be was between them. "Tell me."

She shook her head, covering her mouth with her hands, and she was laughing behind them.

"Oh, you ain't seriously laughin' at me right now."

"I so am." She squealed again when he ripped her panties off and tossed them over his shoulders. She pushed her hair out of her face, now half naked in her bedroom with him overtop of her, and she grinned at him. "Now what? Think I'll spill the beans?"

"It was never about spillin' beans," he corrected. "It's about me eatin' you out until you can't move."

Her core clenched delightfully at the suggestion, and she bit her bottom lip. She tried to speak, but he dipped his head down between her thighs, kissing the skin there. She was overwhelmed by the memories of him doing this very thing in this very bed, and she reached up to grasp the bars on the bed frame. He lifted her leg up, kissing her ankle and calf, resting it over his shoulder as he settled into position.

She felt his tongue tracing her upper thigh, fingers following the moist path, and her skin was humming at the touch. She knew what he was playing at now, and she had a feeling she was going to be left exhausted and unable to move, as he had planned. It was going to be better than any daydream she had. His touch was sweeter than any touch she'd ever felt, and she was so thankful for this moment—for every moment—they had together.

His tongue traced out I love you onto her thigh and continued it lightly tease her thigh and her entrance, knowing she was bubbling up with anticipation and desire for more. He wanted this to feel as amazing as she made him feel every second of every day, and he had so much time to make up for. They could stay here for now and soak each other in without any interruption. It'd be just them for hours, and he had plans for those hours.

He reached up and grasped her hip with his left hand, dipping his tongue inside of her damp folds, and she moaned, reaching down to grasp his hand, nails digging in at him finally doing more than warming her up. He withdrew his tongue once…twice…three times, and she groaned, begging for him to continue, to bring her screaming to. It was so fucking hot to see her beg, her hips squirming against his wrist as she desperately tried for friction. He loved it more than he would ever admit.

He tasted her slowly, savoring her and teasing her. He traced his tongue along her sticky entrance, a trail of her juices following in his tongue's wake as he drew it back into his mouth. He worked into a pace she could move her hips along with, and her walls began to quicken. Her legs stiffened around him, and he stroked harder and faster, sucking on her clit as she called out his name and thrust her hips wildly. Her nails dug into his hand at her hips, and as he watched her soar, he drank her in and marveled at her beauty. He didn't know how much time he had with her just like this, but he'd make it last as long as possible.

He crawled up to her and kissed her, she could taste herself on his tongue, and she moaned, rolling her hips to be on top of him. She carved him being inside of her. After last night and after this, she needed to feel him, and getting her shit would come later. Much later.

It was dark by the time Carol wandered out of bed to find the pickled veggies, starving for food, and she heard him coming after her, bare feet on the wooden floors. He found her naked in the kitchen, munching on pickled cucumbers or maybe just jarred cucumber, and he joined her, helping himself to a few, discovering they were in fact pickled. They were also delicious and oddly sweet. He would have to ask her to make some of these for him once they were home, because damn. They were good.

"Denise made these." She licked the juice off her finger. "But I'll let her know."

He swallowed and leaned against the counter. "What did you need to get here?"

"Some clothes, a couple more jars of these and seeds." She handed the jar over. "I wanted to be sure if I wasn't welcome there, I had supplies to return to."

"If Rick wouldn't have taken you back, we both woulda come back here." He caught her chin so he could see those soulful eyes. "I never woulda let you go again."

She smiled and kissed him. "I know."

"Let's get your stuff and get home. Our kids are waitin'."

They packed up her spare clothes, Charlotte's spare clothes and the extra food and seeds. They stopped only once to take a food break, and they lead to make out on the couch, which was nice, actually. Daryl had never had the chance to make out on a couch as a young man, because of the household he grew up in, so he enjoyed the session while he could. It almost became more, but Carol told him they couldn't. They had to hit the road before the sun came up, and if they got busy, they would work themselves into exhaustion and sleep here. They had to hoof it back to Alexandria for the wedding. He almost wanted to intentionally delay it, so he could soak her in more, but he decided to be a good guy and do as he was told. He'd pack and obey and have his way with her later. They did have plenty of time.

Carol noticed a few straggling walkers coming their way as she packed the last container into the truck and closed it, pulling her knife from her pocket. She approached them and noticed something off about the walkers. She frowned and stepped back to let it sway more her way, and she noticed a crown carved into its head. It was difficult to make out. It was very far gone, rotted to the bone nearly.

She thrust the blade of her knife to the hilt through its crown then took care of the others then doubled back for the crowned walker. She examined its body, noticing it might have been bound as its hands were completely gone, and its teeth had been plucked out as well.

"Huh." She closed its mouth, pulling her blade back from out of it, and she heard movement, looking back to see if it was Daryl, but she was tackled to the ground. She grunted and struggled instantly, the weight of the man on top of her overpowering her, and she tried to reach for her knife. But it had been lost to the tackle.

She tried to see the face of the man, but he was a mess of blonde, stringy hair and a mud-covered face. She roared and tried to shove him off, but he pinned her down, his knees digging into her forearms. She tried not to whimper at the force of weight there, but he was no a slight man. She had no way to move, and she didn't want to call out to Daryl in case he had no more men with him. She didn't want to risk it. She was on her own. Fuck.

"What did you do?" he demanded, grabbing her up by her shirt and rattling her. "Why? How could you do such a thing? Do you have any idea how precious life is? How dare you!" He punched smack in the face, and black spots erupted in her vision, and she felt sick as unwanted memories fluttered into her mind. "You sickness! You will not touch another one!"

He pulled a knife from his pocket and was about to stab where when he released a strangled grunt, face twisting in confusion as blood poured from the wound on his chest. "Shah…" He keeled over to the side, his knife nearly colliding with Carol's face, but it tipped more to the right and only cut her cheek as it landed beside her.

"Shit!" Daryl bolted over to her, kicking the asshole who had her pinned the rest of the way off of her, and she pulled herself up, feeling the blood sliding down her cheek. "Are you all right?" He cupped her cheeks, heeding the wound there, but thankfully it was only superficial.

"Yeah. Are you?" She noticed his lip was busted. "Where did they come from?"

"I don't know, but yeah, I'm good." He pulled her into his arms and looked around for any movement. "Let's go. Right now. You ready?"

"Wait, not yet." She pulled herself free and picked up his knife from the ground. It was a handmade blade, the hilt crafted from bone with designs carved into it. It looked like something straight out of a Jeepers Creepers movie, but it was real. He and his friends were real, and seemed to worship walkers? Or…maybe just that one? She couldn't be sure, but she was glad he was dead.

She threw the blade down into his skull to keep him from reanimating, and they departed from grove. Carol saw blood on the steps and knew there would be no coming back. She said a silent goodbye to her home and memories of the last three years and closed the car door.

"Here." Daryl handed her the first aid kid and backed the car out of the driveway. "You sure you're all right?"

"It's just a cut. Maybe a black eye, too." She pulled the blinder down for the mirror and cleaned the wound, smoothing ointment over it to let it breathe, and she closed the kit, exhaling deeply. "I didn't even hear him come," Carol murmured. "When he was right behind me, yeah, I heard him, but…he was so soft footed. I don't…."

"Don't. She got me by surprise, too." He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, tasting the blood. "She packed one hell of a punch."

"So did he."

He gripped the wheel tightly. "Motherfuckers."

"They're dead, and we're not." She reminded him, "Don't dwell on it."

He cracked his neck and nodded. "All right. I'll try."

They didn't speak on the way home, simply tended to their wounds and savored the previous mood of sex and kisses. Daryl laced his fingers through hers, and they drove home uneventfully. Sadly their bruises had time to show, and the girls instantly ran to them, so they had a bit of explaining to do—to both the children and the adults who came to greet them.

Daryl pulled Rick and Michonne aside to explain the trouble they had run into, Rick made a joke about them having kinky sex to try and lighten the mood, and Michonne just flat out punched him in the arm. He tried to pretend like it didn't hurt, but she had a damn fine right hook. He just shut up and let Daryl continue to explain the nutcases they met on the road. It was a shame Carol wasn't there to mention her findings, because she hadn't mentioned what the man said about the walkers, but she was preoccupied with the children.

"Mommy, your face!" Charlotte jumped to try and touch her face but couldn't quite make it. "What happened? Who did this?"

She knelt down and let Charli touch her face, wincing at the pressure she applied. "It's okay. It's been dealt with."

"Are they dead?"

Carol flinched. "Yes."

She nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, baby, I'm okay." She smiled at her and kissed her temple. "How about my girls? How are you?"

"Better now that you're home," Mika commented, gathering the hair off Charli's back and pulling it back into a ponytail to release it before knotting it. "I was worried about you guys the entire time you were out."

"Yeah? Me, too." She rose and grasped her hand comfortingly. "You two…mean the world to me. I was worried of what might have happened to you two, but I'm glad that you're all right."

"But you ran into trouble. I prayed and everything, and you didn't come home all right," Charlotte pouted. "God didn't do his job."

Carol chuckled. "Baby girl, I am fine. I did come home all right. I'll heal. I promise. I'll be black and blue for the fair, but hey, I've looked worse."

Mika didn't like the look in Carol's eyes, and she hugged Carol tightly. "Welcome home, Mom."

"Yeah, we didn't do it right." She hugged her legs. "Welcome back, Mommy."

She chuckled through the tears that bloomed in her eyes, and she embraced her daughters. "I love you, and I'm glad to be back."

No true words were spoken.

* * *

After dinner that evening, the girls fell asleep in Carol and Daryl's bed, and Carol was up thinking about the wedding going on tomorrow. Daryl was trying to stay awake to be there for her, but he was drained after their run and the sex. He was drifting off as she stroked his hair, and the rest of the world faded away….

And when he roused the next morning, the girls were gone from his bed, and there was an outfit picked out for him to wear. He remembered his duty as best man and hopped in the shower to scrub yesterday away, and he wasn't alone for long, though it wasn't the company he expected.

"Daddy?" Charli walked into the bathroom. "Mommy says to hurry up. We'll miss the wedding."

"I'll be out in a minute, Charli. Tell Mom that."

"I'm not a phone."

He tried not to wonder how she knew what a phone was while washing his hair, and he didn't hear her leave, so he called to her. "Charli?"

"Yeah?"

"…is there somethin' you need?"

"Not really." She was sitting on the counter, having used the stool Mom had laid out in her bathroom so she could brush her teeth easily to boost herself up onto the counter and draw on the steam-cloaked mirror. "I want a pet. Can we get one?"

"I don't know, kiddo."

"Why? 'Cause you didn't ask Mommy first?"

"No, because pets are hard to come by. You never know what you'll get." He poked his head out and saw her sitting on the sink, drawing a puppy on the mirror. "You look cute."

"Thanks." She grinned, proudly showing off her blue and white striped dress. "Mommy picked it out for me."

He nodded and returned to his shower, taking a few more minutes to wash up before stepping out with his towel around his waist. He lifted her up and set her on the floor, sending her on her way, and getting himself ready. He inhaled as he combed his hair and smiled at his reflection. He was on his way to his best friend's wedding, with his beautiful daughters and the love of his life. He had to repeat that to himself, because god damn. It was really happening. They were happy. They were in love. They were together, and they were raising two kickass kids. He had to drink that in like a fine whiskey—slowly, because it'd ruin it to just swallow it in one gulp.

"Daryl?" Carol stuck her head in the doorway. "My, you look handsome, and I didn't have to turn a hose on you."

"Yeah." He chuckled and ran his eyes over her. "Let me see you."

She inhaled and stepped into the room, showing off her blue dress and long gray cardigan. It wasn't anything flashy; it was simple and warm, and it fit her perfectly. It wasn't the overdone dress of the party, but she didn't expect to be attending a wedding, much less her best friend's, so she had to reach to an old favorite.

"Wow." He ran his hand down his jaw and smiled. "You look…amazing."

"Thank you." She held her hand out, and he clasped her hand immediately. "Let's go watch our friends get married."

"You ever think about it?" He fell into step beside her. "Gettin' married?"

"Are you asking?" She eyed him.

"Not right now."

"Then I'll wait to answer." She smiled playfully. "All you need to know is I love you."

"I love you, too." He kissed her tenderly. "But for the record, you ain't a Peletier no more."

"I've never been a Peletier. Nor was my daughter. She was mine, all mine, never his."

He kissed her knuckles. "Yeah, she was all you."

"Don't make me cry today." She was joking, but there were tears in her eyes. "Sophia… is an angel now. I have to believe that her passing was to make way or Charli and Mika. I have to."

"Yeah, I know. It is what it is, and I support you in that thinking."

She beamed. "Thank you."

"Mommy, Daddy, come on!" Charlotte was excited to see the princess that Michonne was get married.

"Calm down. We won't miss it." Carol and Maggie were going to walk Michonne down the aisle. "We'll be there to see Michonne get married to Rick. I promise."

"Okay."

They joined their family down the stairs, Daryl felt a small hand in his, and he smiled, looking down at his daughter. She smiled up at him, and for a moment, he saw Merle in her eyes. He didn't know if he believed in angels and demons, but if people could be looked after, he knew Merle was out there, his energy surrounding Charli like a blanket, to protect her from the dangers of this world. His darling girl. Yeah, he believed that.


	18. The Kingdom Fair

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

––

The wedding was beautiful, and the reception lasted well into the morning hours. Rick and Michonne had no honeymoon plans, other than having no duties for a week to enjoy married life, and that meant people would have to pick up the slack. Like Carol and Mika and Daryl.

It would be Mika's first time on patrol. Daryl was eager to be joining her to show her the ropes, and Carol was a nervous wreck. They had been talking about expanding the properties, and that meant Mika and Daryl would have to look over the un-walled section to ensure that the walker numbers were low for the early morning construction crew's shift. That meant danger and possible loss of her child.

She trusted Mika and Daryl, but she worried. Mika was only thirteen years old. Yes, Carl was taking on those responsibilities at such a young age, but he wanted to do that. He was raised on the road, and he was sort of born into that role. Mika wasn't the same as Carl. She as more of a tender heart where Carl was a tender soul, and it showed. There were choices Mika might have to make in this role that would haunt her, and Carol didn't want that for her daughter. Not when she was so young.

But this as the world they lived in. They would have to come to terms with that and accept that the world forced kids to grow up, and there were decisions and consequences that came along with it. She would have to accept that and allow Mika to grow up in this world. There could be no coddling. It would do more harm than help.

"Are you ready?" Carol asked Mika.

"Yeah." She nodded. "We'll be careful."

"I know. Daryl will take care of you, and you'll take care of yourself."

"But then who takes care of Daryl?" Mika challenged.

"We'll take care of each other." Daryl came off the steps and set a hand on her shoulder. "We'll be fine."

"You should focus on trying to find a babysitter for Charli." Mika pointed to her little sister who was sitting on the couch, all made up with nowhere to go. "Maggie left to help Ezekiel arrange the fair."

"I know." She had no one to contact. Mika was right about Maggie being gone, because Glenn and Hersh had gone with her. Michonne and Rick were in marital bliss right now. Beth was teaching. Noah and Abe were discussing the expansion and walking the area. Sasha had the wall. Denise and Mordin were in the middle of helping Denise remember all her doctor's training, and that would have been fine to have Charli sit in with them, but Morin didn't like to have distractions while teaching, which Charli was. Tara was on a run with Heath and Francine.

"Options are low, but if she wants to tag along with you on kitchen duty," Daryl suggested.

"She can't." Carol reminded him of the last time she went with him, and she'd eaten the desserts and had a stomachache for hours. "There might be someone who can watch her, but it's desperate."

"Who?" Mika saw Daryl's nose scrunch, and Mika knew immediately who the desperate person was. "No, you can't seriously mean Nina."

"She offered, and Charlotte has nothing to do with what happened among the three of us." Carol said, "And I'm out of options. Even Gabriel can't help. He has to watch RJ and run a sermon, and Rosita with the newborn isn't helpful." Gabriel wasn't an approved babysitter. He was great with RJ, but Charli wasn't fond of his one blind eye. It scared her.

"Good luck with that, and let me know when to drop by Gab's to pick her up."

"At least pretend to wish me luck."

"That was me wishin' you good luck." He smiled at her. "Keep me posted."

Carol inhaled deeply and joined her daughter in the living room, finding her and telling her to collect her things. She waited by the door and smiled down at her little girl when she joined her at the door, clasping her hand and heading out to visit someone who probably didn't want to see Carol. But desperate was desperate.

They strolled out of the house and towards the ducks across the way, a sinking feeling passing through Carol's stomach as she neared the ducks, and Charli wondered why they were going to Nina's after all this time. She knew the last time they had encountered each other, Nina was upset and made them leave. She didn't understand what might have changed. Mommy hadn't spoken of her in days, so this seemed random, but she was happy. She wanted to see Nina, see how she was doing, because nobody had mentioned her in a long time, so she would get to see for herself.

Carol walked up the steps to Nina's house and knocked on the door, pushing her worries aside and focusing on the good that they had once had. She pulled out a smile when the door opened, and Nina stared at her for a pause then pushed open the screen door and stepped out.

"What brings you by?" Her voice was low, uninterested, and she noticed Charli had her backpack on. She knew what Carol wanted then and remembered her offers from a different time.

"I need a favor, and I know I had no right to ask, but I am out of options for my daughter." She shook her hand that held Charlotte's to gesture to her sweet girl, and she met Nina's eyes. "I have duty soon, and I can't take her with me. Could you please, please babysit for me?"

"After everything I went through, you expect me to babysit?" She chuckled. "No apology? No nothing? Just get with the man I love and throw it in my face by asking me to babysit your lovechild?"

"I didn't get back with Daryl to throw it in anybody's face, but I am sorry. I am so sorry for your loss, what you went through, and I wish I could make the pain of losing what you thought was love, but I can't."

"What I thought was love? I know what love is, Carol. I'm not a child."

"No, Nina, you're not a child, but you don't know love. Love is selfless and pure and painful. It's an every day battle for sanity, too, because you both love each other so much and can make each other so craz—"

"I don't need a lecture on love from you but thank you for apologizing. It doesn't make the world sugar drops and cream, but I do appreciate it." She cleared her throat. "I just made some lemonade and cookies, why don't you go help yourself, honey?"

Charli looked up at her mom, who nodded, and Charli took off inside the house for cookies. Carol mentioned Charli's allergy to Nina, and Nina nodded and paused, eyeing Carol for a moment.

"Is he happy?" she whispered, her eyes glossy at the mention of a man she was still very much in love with.

Carol couldn't help but smile. "He is."

"How do you know for sure?"

"Because I'm happy, and Daryl and I are on the same emotional wavelength. It's…more of being friends for so long than being…together."

She nodded her head and swallowed. "You know that's all I ever wanted for him."

"I know."

"I'll take good care of Charlotte." She stepped back into the house and sighed softly, looking onward to the living room where the child was helping herself to a cookie. She smiled and turned back to Carol, grasping the doorknob. "I'll see you when you come to pick her up?"

"Me or Daryl."

"Okay."

They parted ways then. Carol didn't worry about how Nina would treat Charli, because while they had a bit of an issue with each other over Daryl, she had no bad blood with that sweet little girl and would be kind to her. That was the kind of person Carol had known Nina to be. Trust or not, Carol knew her type. She was a good woman who wanted kids, just like Beth. So as she walked away, she had no worries, only that Charli might say something to hurt Nina's feelings.

Inside Nina poured Charlotte a glass of lemonade and sat down on the couch across from her, watching her gobble down another chocolate chip cookie. She couldn't repress the smile and asked her if she liked them.

"They're yummy." Charli reached for the lemonade and took a swig. "Thank you."

"How are you doing today, darling?"

"I'm okay." She sat down on the floor and slipped a cookie into her backpack. "Are you still mad at my mommy and daddy?"

"No, I'm not mad at them anymore." She meant it. "I'm just sad."

"Why? 'Cause my mommy and daddy are together again."

Nina opened her mouth to explain, but her eyes looked over the child once more. She could see how special Charli was and how loved, and she deserved that. She deserved to be loved and happy. She deserved to be with her parents, parents who should be together and give her a loving home.

God, it wasn't about her feelings towards a man. It wasn't about her at all. She had to be a good person and let him go, let them both go. She wasn't going to have the future she daydreamed of. He wasn't going to suddenly be ready and come for her. He wasn't interested in anybody but the mother of his beautiful child, and he deserved that. To be in love with such a sweet soul. So, she had to let it go. No more being bitter, no more crying fits, no more being a child. She had to forgive and forget.

She knew it wasn't as simple as all that, but she knew she had to try. There was someone out there for her, and she would find them and fall in love and begin her own dreams, not tread on someone else's. She was an adult and had to smile through the pain. It wouldn't hurt for much longer. Hopefully.

"No, honey, because…of something you'll understand later in life." She smiled down at her. "Do you want to paint?"

"Yes, please."

"I'll get the supplies."

* * *

Beth and Noah were waiting. They had been waiting for a good four minutes now, and Noah timed each one with the watch Glenn had lent him. They weren't sure if this was the best course of action, but Beth was adamant. She was sure. He didn't want to doubt her. And it didn't make a different if he doubted her or not; they'd still be waiting.

Beth was counting the ticks now, bouncing her leg in time with the ticks and trying not to burst as the number climbed higher and higher. She was so impatient for it to be over. She hated to wait for news, especially this news, and she couldn't stand it for much longer. She was going to go right into that room and demand to know the answer right now. It wasn't like she'd get an answer, but hey, it was the thought that counted with stuff like that. Right?

"Ugh, come on." She stood up but he pulled her gently back down, and she whined. "Come on, tell me it's time."

He smiled at her. "It's time."

She gasped and squealed and shot up and over to the counter, tucking hair behind her ears and looking the test resting there. Her heart stopped at the answer before her, and Noah joined her, seeing her freeze, and he saw for himself why her blood had run just a tad cold with nerves and fear.

It was a pregnancy test result of a pink plus sign. Beth's eyes filled with tears and her hands fell to her belly, Noah wrapped his arms around her, and they took a moment to acknowledge this. To savor this precious moment, one they weren't sure they would ever have. The moment when they no longer were two people in love, but two people who had made a whole new being. Their love had come together and made this precious life that they had dreamt of and spoke of for years. They were denied such a life for three years while in that hell, but it was here now. It was real and right in their reach.

They had just moved on from a couple to a team, and it was the most amazing memory they could ever have asked for. They would nurture this life and ensure it had a great future. They would do whatever Carson told them to do, and they would ensure nothing took their future away, no matter what came. Their baby would live and see this world flourish. That was what this little pink plus sign meant, and they would honor it.

"Oh, my God." She turned in his arms and embraced him. "Oh, my God."

"Wait, it might be expired. We can't know until we see Carson," Noah reminded her, trying to add a layer of reality into this bubble of bliss. Someone had to be the voice of reason here. Even if it hurt to consider.

"No." She shook her head and slipped back to be in his arms but able to look into his eyes. "I feel it. I am pregnant. We're pregnant, Noah."

He tried not to get his hopes up, but he couldn't help it at the sight of the woman he loved with a hand on her belly, so assured and confident about this change in her body. "We're pregnant."

She giggled and cupped his cheeks, kissing him and hugging him once more. "Yes." Thank God. Thank God. Thank God

"You wanna go tell Maggie?" he whispered into her ear.

"Yes, let's go!"

* * *

Daryl strolled down the street, having left Mika and their hard won score at the house with Carol, heading to Nina's to pick up his daughter. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he would go through with it. He would be a gentleman, and he would be kind and courteous. He would do everything he could to not have this encounter end in another fight.

He padded up the stairs and saw inside through the open front door, seeing Nina and Charlotte laughing and painting. It was a beautiful sight, one that would mean the world to him for a long while, to see his girl so happy and carefree. He had to thank Nina for that, and for the works of art he would be taking home tonight.

"Hey," he called inside, both girls turned to look at him and giggled, paint smeared on their cheeks and clothes. "Mind if I come in?"

"Yes." Nina chuckled and stood up. "It's unlocked. I was trying to dry the paintings faster, but the cold air isn't helpful. Probably why people paint in the summer."

"Where did you hear that?"

"TV." She blushed and rubbed her cheek. "I didn't mean to make such a mess of your daughter."

"Daddy!" After putting the finishing touches to her painting, she bolted over to him and jumped, barely catching his arms and giggling as he adjusted her. "Hello."

"Hello." He chuckled at her and kissed her brow. "Such a mess, just like your uncle."

"I know. Mommy told me about my Uncle Merle." She rubbed at her cheek and smiled at him. "I made you something."

"I can't wait to see it then." He licked his thumb and rubbed at the paint on her cheek. "Lemme see it."

"It has to dry first." She looked back at Nina. "He can't see it until it dries, okay?"

"Okay. You have my word." She held her hand up in a solemn promise. "I doubt he'll be over here to spend time with me anyhow, so yes."

"Good." She hopped down and ran inside to get her dry paintings and head home, humming to herself.

Daryl waited until she fell out of sight to try and make amends. "Nina…."

"She…is an incredible light." She laughed to herself and set a hand on her chest, looking back at the little girl zipping around her living room. "Goodness."

"Nina, look, let me just—"

"I bet you have such a weakness for her. I would. Hell, I think I do. I would give anything to keep her safe, and she isn't even mine. She's something special, and I think it has something to do with her parents. I mean, parents mold child, even through stories." She looked over at him now and inhaled. "Keep her innocent, okay?"

"Could you just let—"

"I know you're probably trying to mention the fight and maybe want to apologize, but I don't need it. I thought I did. I thought I deserved an apology from you of all people, but…no. I just needed time to see how stupid and childish I was being about a nonexistent relationship." She met his eyes. "You should have told me sooner, but I understand that we weren't on the page, let alone in the same book, and so…thank you for this lesson. I won't forget it."

"I never meant to teach you anythin' painful."

"But you did." She wrapped her arms around herself and smiled bittersweetly. "I still wish we had…a chance, but…you and Carol are cuter. And she looks so happy. I saw her on her shift, just glowing, and that's amazing. I know you two probably have a lot to catch up on, and I hope it goes well."

"It is, thank you."

"You'd better ensure she keeps glowing, or I'm coming after you." She lightly tapped a fist into his arm and sniffled. "Go get your little girl and enjoy the fair for me."

"Wait, you ain't goin'?"

"Nah, it isn't my scene. I'll just stay home and read, maybe have some tea and whiskey."

"That sounds like a bad night."

"It just might be, but hey, I got this." She flashed a grin and hummed a light laugh. "Good night, Daryl."

"Good night, Nina!" Charli hugged her waist tightly. "Thank you for today."

"You are welcome, baby." She ruffled her hair and smiled at her. "I'll drop off the big painting once its dry, okay?"

"Okay." She clasped her daddy's hand, wearing a backpack stuffed with paintings and snacks and a spare outfit she didn't change into now that she was covered in paint. "Be safe."

"Oh, I will be. You guys be safe too, okay? And have so much fun at the fair for me."

"We will." She grinned and looked up at her daddy. "Right?"

"Absolutely."

They headed home then, Charli told him all about what she and Nina had done for that day, and Daryl was happy Nina had been such a good influence over Charli. He would talk to Carol to make it a regular visit, for Nina's sake. He wanted to keep an eye on her and ensure she was healing, not balling it all up inside and letting it twist and rot. He worried now that he was a father, and while Nina wasn't his daughter or could actually be his child, he cared. They were friends, and he hoped maybe they could be again. Or at least his daughter could be. Maybe.

Charlotte ran the last few feet to the door, Carol was waiting there for them, and he jogged the rest of the way to join them, to escape from the chilling cold. Mika had a blanket ready for them, and they all slipped inside—back into the warmth of home.

* * *

The Kingdom was lovely, Carol decided, seeing it for the first time when they arrived for the fair. She and Daryl had left early that morning, taking the RV with the Rick and Michonne and their little ones. It was a long trip, but it was great to sit back and chill with Michonne while the boys argued over the music and the kids played in the back. It was a perfect start to this day.

Beth and Noah drove up with Maggie, Glenn and Hershel, the girls sitting in the back with baby Hershel and talking tips on how to handle a pregnancy. Glenn and Noah were discussing other things about the fair and about what all would be there, but Noah was itching to talk about the baby. Glenn could only laugh and encourage him to speak, because it was a wonderous time. They would be parents to a little life, and they would raise it alongside big cousin Hershel. It would be epic.

Carl and Enid biked to the Kingdom, needing the air and the time to talk and laugh and adjust to this new phase in their lives. They were a couple, but things had changed with the loss of Carl's eye. They didn't discuss those changes, but they knew they were there. They silently acknowledged it, and they would grow from there. Enid worried it might not be together, but they had now to be together. The rest would come together, or rather it'd fall into place, because at this point in their lives rarely did anything come—it fell. It wasn't always a good fall, but they could hope. They could hope.

They were greeted by Ezekiel and Jerry, Carol held onto her daughter's shoulders, and Daryl kept a hand around her waist. It wasn't all due to how Ezekiel was looking at her, but it'd be a lie to say it wasn't there for that reason partly.

"Welcome, welcome." He was smiling widely at them, his eyes looking over the man faces of the Alexandrian people, and he chuckled joyfully, glad to have this blend of people. "We have many people here, but there are plenty of events. I hope you'll enjoy them as much as enjoy having you here."

"I'm super excited." Judith beamed from beside her mother. "Let's go, come on, please!"

Zeke couldn't help but reflect the child's excitement. "Go on, please. Have a good time."

"Yay!" Charli broke free of her mother's grasp and clasped her big sister's hand. "They have apples! Let's get some!"

"Whoa, Charli!" Mika laughed and ran to keep up with her.

"Stay close," Carol called after her girls and shook her head. "I should catch up to them, but um, thank you for having us, Ezekiel. It means the world to my girls, and to me. They get to have something normal in this world—and it's fun normal."

He nodded. "I'm happy to oblige."

She set a hand on his arm and squeezed tenderly before heading after her girls, weaving through the crowd to get to her daughter, leaving Daryl behind with Zeke and Jerry and Rick.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" Daryl politely asked Ezekiel.

"Of course. What can I do for you?"

"Keep your eyes to yourself." He smiled kindly. "She ain't yours to be lookin' at her like that."

"I believe the lady belongs to herself, sir." He returned the smile. "Maybe she isn't sure of the options she has before her and simply settled."

Daryl was about to lunge when Rick set a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back into his chest. "Thank you for invitin' us." Rick pushed Daryl forward and escorted him away from Zeke. "Calm down."

"I was calm till that asshole said he's gonna try and take my partner." He seethed, "I won't let him."

"Daryl, stop." Rick's eyes met Daryl's, and Daryl's breathing evened out from its harsh escape moments ago. "Carol loves you. Okay? You, not him, and he won't change her mind. He's as fake as they come, and Carol has something real with you. You and your daughters."

He exhaled deeply. "You're right. He just gets under my skin in a bad way, makes me wanna punch him in the throat."

"I understand." He gestured around them. "We're at a fair, Daryl. A real fair with candy apples and dunking booths, just…enjoy it."

He nodded. "Never been to a fair before."

"Well, let Carol show you, 'cause I got to catch up with my wife." He patted his back and smiled at him. "See ya, man."

Daryl inhaled deeply and released it, jogging to catch up to Carol and his daughters, moving through people and family and finally catching up to them. He set a hand on the small of her back, and she smiled up at him, and he kissed her lightly, asking what he'd missed.

"Not much, but I think Mika has a secret admirer." She pointed to a dusty-haired young man who was peeking at Mika over a prize stuffed animal. He would blush and hide behind the stuffed animal when he was caught staring, and Mika would just blush in general. It was cute. They were cute.

"Oh, no. She's too young for that."

"She'll be too young for that until she's too old for that."

"Damn straight."

"Loosen up. It's not like we'll be here for much longer after today."

"Yeah, guess so."

They played a few games, won some tickets to get a free candy apple, though they were all free, but this was one with the works. They decided to split it and sat down at the tables across the way. Mika noticed the boy who was handing out prizes coming closer to them, decked out in Kingdom attire, and she nudged her mom in the ribs.

"H—hi." The boy smiled at them, squinting at the fall sun beating down on them, kissing freckles along his nose, and he tried not to stutter. "I'm Henry."

"Hello, Henry, I'm Carol. These are my daughters Charlotte and Mika, and this is their father, Daryl." Carol smiled back at the young lad. "How can we help you?"

"Umm, you forgot this." He extended a purple heart to her. "You won this at the bottle game."

"Oh, I did?" She accepted it, standing up and hugging it to her chest. "Thank you. I thought I sucked at it."

"No, you were awesome." He shook his head. "Um, do you wanna play a few games with me? We can meet up with you guys somewhere."

"I'd like that."

"It sounds good to me," Carol said over Daryl shaking his head. "How about we meet at the sketch artist's tent? We can hang out and eat some food afterward."

"Yeah, that'd be great." Henry was beaming now. "Thank you, Carol."

"You're welcome, sweetie."

"C'mon." He held his hand out to Mika, and she accepted it, and they wondered off towards more of the game stands together.

"How cute." Charli reached for the rest of Mika's apple slice.

"Yeah, it's precious," Daryl mumbled, staring hard after them.

"Hey, no, we all get to share it." Carol stopped her little hand and bit into the candy apple slice, minding how it cracked.

"Sharing is caring," Charli grumbled, looking like her dad as his eyes lost sight of Mika and this Henry.

"C'mon." Carol shook the table. "Let's have fun today, so stop moping. Let's take a hay ride once Mika gets back."

"With horses?" Charli gasped. "We gotta do it now, Mommy, please. Please."

"We will wait for your sister, okay? Now, let's play some more games. I bet I can win more stuffed animals for you than Daddy can."

"Oh, you're on." Daryl shot up. "Race you to bottles."

"Now you're on." She flipped the apple core with the stick still attached at him, he caught it and she took off with a cheater's head start.

"Whoo, hoo!" Beth cheered at Noah's third win for the big stuffed owl for her, clapping loudly and laughing at the affection she felt roll through her at him grinning at her like she was the entire world. She set a hand on her stomach and tucked hair behind her ear. "Go, Noah!"

"One more win, and it's the top prize for you," Jerry told the young man.

"Well, it's for my girlfriend," he politely corrected.

"Ahh." He nodded and looked over at the beauty and then to the hand on her belly. "All right, one more win."

He accepted the ball and exhaled to slow his heartrate, remembering his baseball days and chucking the ball carefully, and knocking over all the bottle. Beth jumped up and hugged him, congratulating him and kissing him, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, accepting her kiss.

"Here, you are." Jerry handed over the stuffed owl. "I'm impressed. That big boy has been with me for years, because nobody could win it. Congrats, kid."

"Thanks." He handed it over to Beth. "Here, for you."

"For our baby," Beth corrected. "First of many."

He grinned. "First of many."

"I like this." Maggie thanked the sketch artist and folded the slip of tan paper, joining Glenn and Hershel as they roamed through the grounds. They had already been on the hayride and played some games only to lose, and Maggie was trying to win something for her baby boy, but these suckers had to be rigged. Just like a real fair, which made it incredibly fun.

"So, what do we do now?" Glenn worked on his candy apple, sharing it partly with Hershel, and he licked the sticky coating off his bottom lip.

"I don't know. I think we need to take a hayride." Maggie and Glenn lifted Hershel by his arms and swung him, and he giggled. "What do you think, mister Hersh? A hayride sounds good?"

"Yes." He nodded his head. "Sounds good."

They headed off to the hayride station, seeing Beth and Noah at the buffet of baked goods, and Maggie laughed, remembering the hunger that came with pregnancy. She waved to them and realized that soon there would be another Greene baby among them. It would be another piece of Daddy and Mom, and it would make this world one more person strong against the evils and dark hearts of the world. It was dangerous to have a child in this world, some would say, but Maggie disagreed. To have a child in this world was brave, was continuing the line of good beings, of strong beings and ensuring the future of this new world survived. It would be incredible to welcome new baby Greene into the world, their world.

They helped Hershel into the cart, Maggie hopped up, and Glenn climbed up next. They sat across from another family, and Hershel swung his legs while they waited for the ride to start. Glenn mentioned to Maggie about conversation Zeke and he had while waiting to use the bathroom. He wanted to expand the Kingdom, and that meant having one of them move to the Kingdom to oversee the process and ensure its success.

"But we can't just leave Alexandria." Maggie caught Hershel's hand when the ride lurched forward to start and held him in place. "My position means I can't leave."

"I know we can't. I agree, but I also agree with Ezekiel. We all agreed to do whatever it took, whatever we had in our power to do, to help each other out as communities do. It's in our contracts. We have to send someone or some ones down here to help." Glenn searched her eyes. "We have to help. We can't say no, and I didn't say no."

"Glenn—"

"Mags, you wrote up those treaties and agreements. We cannot say no." He rubbed his hands together. "But…Noah and I got to talking a while about his interest in construction and keeping the towns peacefully flowing together, and I believe he's a good match."

"But that means he and Beth will have to move here, and my niece or nephew will be born here—away from us, away from their family."

"We don't know what arrangements they'll work out, but we have to accept this offer if we want those treaties to work."

"I know." She expelled a sigh so hard her lips dried, and she nodded. "We'll talk to Noah."

"It's all we can do right now—talk. But at the end of the night, a decision will have to be made."

Carl and Enid roamed the fair, stopping at the water gun station to win a couple prizes, having some fried corn on a stick and drinking fresh apple cider. They laughed and went to the sketching booth and made good memories, but Carl felt a noticeably change in them. In their relationship, and he wondered what it meant.

He had spent what felt like months recovering from his wound, and he had been selfish. He had grieved his loss and suffered through his fears. He hadn't been the best boyfriend in the world, but it honestly worried him that he now might not even be that now. Worried in a way that felt like relief. Worried in a way that he wasn't worried about the survival of their relationship so much as their friendship.

He wanted that to survive all else, because at the end of the day, love was important, but it wasn't everything. Friendship love meant more to him than he could express to Enid. She had to feel it, too; the changes and the distance now borne between them. It was there for a reason, and for a reason it would stay. IT was okay, he realized. It wasn't the end of the world to love someone you could only be friends with, and maybe that was healthy. That was growing up. He was a man now, and perhaps this was how a man thought. It was okay to lose once in a while, because while the world was made up of losses chosen for you, he was the one to decide now. The world would have to face the backlash of his decision, and it would be for the best, not the worse for once.

"Hey, do you want to get a cotton candy? I think it's one of those kiddy machines from, like, 2005." She set a hand on his arm. "I bet it still tastes good."

"Yeah, okay." He then shook his head slightly and grasped her hand. "Hey, wait a second."

"What's up?" She met his eyes and saw the answer there among the shades of blue. "Oh."

"I'm sorry, but we really need to talk about our relationship. I mean, how it's changed since I got back."

"I knew it had changed, but I had hoped…. Well, I supposed I was clinging to a corpse. I really wanted us to find our way back to each other, back to those hot summer nights, back to our first kiss, back to the woods and the hollow tree…." She had to laugh to keep from crying, and he crossed her arms over her chest. "I knew we wouldn't last forever, because that's not realistic, but I had hoped we would last longer than this."

"I'm sorry, Enid."

"No, don't be sorry. Sorry means you regret we happened." She snuffled. "Do you regret us?"

"No, no of course not. I love you. I probably always will." He approached her and kissed her shoulder. "I'm sorry only to have hurt you."

"I'm a big girl, Carl. I can handle a little pain." She accepted his hug and closed her eyes, tears falling free. "You need to lighten up and trust me a little more, okay?"

"I'll try."

"Good." She squeezed him. "You owe me a cotton candy, jerk."

He laughed. "You got it."

Daryl and Glenn were talking with Rick about the expansion plans Ezekiel had mentioned, Mika and Henry were sharing a cotton candy while Charlotte, RJ and Judith were running around and playing with their newly won toys. Michonne and Maggie had gone with Hershel to get some hot apple cider to stave off the cold, and Carol was sitting by a small bonfire to wait for her family members to return to her.

"Enjoying the evening, my lady?" King Ezekiel strolled over to her, Shiva beside hm, and he flashed a winning smile at her.

"Yes, I am." She crossed her legs and slipped her hands underneath her thighs for warmth. "Are you?"

"Yes, it has been a pleasant evening. I have admired many wonderous things from all people here tonight. You and your daughters certainly have made the rounds at the candy apple and cotton candy stations. I'm pleased they're delicious."

"I'm not so pleased," Carol commented. "I have to ride home with a hyperactive four-year-old."

"I thought she was three?"

"No, today is her birthday. Sort of. She's about four, so I decided today would be her birthday, and we've celebrated it as such." She smiled at the memories made today. She wouldn't trade them for the world. "She's about the mindset and questioning of a four-year-old, and she's very grown up for her age regardless. She'll be hell on wheels when she's older."

"I think she'll be a beauty, as her mother is, and strong and capable of facing the world and all its…disarray."

"Yeah, I suppose so." She looked to the left to avoid eye contact, and she tucked hair behind her ear. "Do you want to sit down? Enjoy the fire with me until they return? I know you and Daryl don't get along very well, so I hope you won't hate me to ask you to leave once he returns. I don't want tension on this day. It's special."

"Of course, of course." He sat beside her. "Daryl seems like an aggressive man. However, did you come upon him?"

"He…isn't aggressive. He's far from it. He saved my life in more than one way, and I don't appreciate your assumptions. You really oughta to not judge someone you don't know. He means the world to me and our daughters, and if you want a friendship here, you'll lay off." She stood up. "You'll have to excuse me now."

"I beg your pardon." He grasped her hand gently. "I didn't mean to insult you. I only wondered a question. I just didn't understand how such a woman like yourself ended up with such a man like that."

"It's out of love and respect and understanding, and I am insulted, thank you very much." She pulled her hand free. "You know next to nothing about me, and you know less about him, so take your assumptions and please—"

"Hey. Carol, can I talk to you for a moment?" Daryl was suddenly beside her, rubbing his jawline and giving a nod of acknowledgement to Zeke. "For a second then y'all can get back to your conversation?"

"Nary a conversation to be had, I'm afraid." He rose up and excused himself.

"I swear that guy is fluff and fold." She crossed her arms and released a groan.

"What does that even mean?" he laughed. "Fluff and fold?"

"He's a pain in the ass, basically." She laughed with it. "Don't make fun of me."

"Just never heard that one before is all." He grasped her waist and pulled her forward. "So, I have…a proposition for you."

"Ooh, that sounds lovely. What's up?"

"I've been taking to the guys about our relationship with the Kingdom and how to improve it, how…to follow the rules established in the treaties, and to do that…we'll have to move to the Kingdom for a time. Just a couple of us."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait." She attempted to wrap her brain around what he was telling her, about the treaties and moving here, and she frowned. No, she didn't want to lese her home, leave the bed they had just laid together in, leave the family she'd just gotten back to. She didn't want to move here and stay here and make bonds with people she was going to have to leave in a few months or so. She didn't want that. She had just come home, and she would now have to leave it? For treaty purposes? "You can't be serious, Daryl."

"I'm very serious. I've spoken to Noah and Rick and Glenn about it for the past twenty minutes, and it isn't a joke. They need our help and our know-how. We can't turn our back on our neighbors, our extended family. We made promises, and we gotta keep 'em, Carol." He searched her eyes. "I know we've just gotten back to each other and to our home, but Noah and I came to an agreement."

"Without me or Beth, I bet."

"Please, just hear me out."

"I am hearing, but I'm not liking it thus far, Daryl." She dropped her hands to her hips and eyed him hard.

"Twenty-four months, and then we're done."

"Twenty-four—Daryl, that's two years! Two years of our lives away from our family, in this ass backward place. I know I said I liked it here, that it's lovely with the corn field and—and the farm feel to it, but no. No, not for two years of my life, of our daughters' lives, and I—I can't believe you made this decision without my consent or opinion."

"Nothin' is set in stone, Carol. We are just easy to move. It's just us, and Noah really wants my help. Beth ain't comin' with us, all right? She'll visit with their baby now and then, but he wants her near family. He'll be all alone up here without us, and I know how hard that is, what that feels like, so please. Please. Carol, just consider it."

She blew out a sigh of total annoyance but caught the look in his eye. He was passionate about this. He really didn't want the kid up here alone, and she knew what Noah would be losing out on. She knew what Noah was risking while helping the Kingdom out. He would miss possibly the birth of his daughter or son, miss their first steps and first words, miss out on the majority of Beth's pregnancy. He was putting all of that loss out there for something beautiful for these people and for their future. Daryl wanted in on that too, and how could she be the monster that said no?

Easily, to be honest. She had just settled into Alexandria. She and Denise weren't too far from each other. They were settled and having a good time. They were adjusting to this new life, Charli was going to school with Beth soon, and Mika was Nina's number one student. She had plans for Alexandria, for their life there, and he wanted to come in and stomp on all those plans for a totally benevolent reason. She couldn't be angry with him, but she couldn't just say yes to this. It was sprung on her, and she couldn't handle it right now. God, what was he thinking? Outside from the treaties and the good of it all?

She groaned now and dropped her eyes from his face. He was in the right here. He wanted to help these people, and they were now her people, too. They had seen since before the ink dried on those agreement papers Maggie drew up. It was time to accept that people would need them, their specific help, going forward, and she could be no monster to their need and say no. She would never say no to Maggie or Michonne or to Tara or to Aaron. She had to say yes here. And that was the bottom line.

"Please, Carol."

"All right. Okay." She dropped her hands to take a hold of his. "But you'd better make it up to me."

""Course. I'll do all the heavy liftin', and I'll help the girls adjust to getting into school." He was nodding his head. "I'll do all I can to make this process easier for you."

"That isn't what I meant." She chuckled seductively at him. "I have a whole new routine to learn, a whole new community, and we have a whole new bed to break in."

He caught onto her meaning and grinned. "You're serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. I want my back problems to be about sex, not old age, okay? So…make it up to me, Dixon."

"All right." He leaned own and kissed her, softly, at first then harder, slipping his tongue into her mouth lightly. She chuckled against his lips, accepting his slip of tongue and wrapping her arms around is neck. "Mmm."

"Hey, we got kids here," Maggie called out to them teasingly.

Carol ignored her for a moment more, savoring the taste of him—sugar sweet and rich—for a moment more. She couldn't wait until they had their alone time and he made up for the terrible moving process he was going to put them through.

"Hey, Mommy, Daddy, look!" Charli exclaimed. "Look, look, look!"

Carol looked over her shoulder to see a thousand lighting bugs lighting up the fair. She gasped and moved closer to their star-like lights, holding onto Daryl's hand to pull him along with her. She stopped walking before she spooked them all away, and Daryl wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her hair. They looked out on the beautiful little bugs, Mika and Charlotte coming to stand beside them, and they viewed them.

It would be a difficult to adjust to this new life they would be leading. They would be raising their teenage daughter and their newly four-year-old daughter in a whole new community when one was adjusted to Alexandria, and the other was being shuffled from home to home to home. It was cruel almost to make the girls make this trip, but Daryl and Carol had spent too much time apart as it was. They wouldn't waste any time together anymore, and the rest was what it was. There was no fighting change. It came and swooped down upon them when it felt ready, and they would simply have to adjust to it. Like they always did.

Beth and Noah sat down on the cool grass, curling up together and hugging their stuffed prize and each other close. Beth had just been informed about Noah's decision to stay in the Kingdom, and she tried to protest—to fight, to yell until he saw this was stupid—but one look at his face and she knew he had to do this. How could he be a father to their daughter or son and have this on his shoulders if he said no? He wanted to build something great, something to protect people, and she respected that. She loved him for it, and she knew it was only a matter of time before he was home. They would be back on track, and she would visit all the time. As much as possible. And once their little one was born, she was going to show them off to their daddy as much as she could without putting them in harm's way. It would work out, and they would have two beauties they made.

Glenn lifted Hershel up and let him grab at the bugs that he was nowhere near reaching, chuckling lowly in his throat, and he realized he wanted this moment to last. He wanted many more moments like this, so maybe it was time to extend their own family, so baby Greene had a little cousin around the same age. He would have to talk to Maggie about it, but he was sure she wouldn't mind having one more child, maybe more than one. He did come from a large family, and he wanted to make memories like he had when he was a child and teenager. He wanted his son to be able to have someone to stand beside him when Maggie and Glenn were gone, and not just a friend or cousin that might live in another town. He wanted them to have the same sibling bond he had with his siblings. Make this world a bit more familiar for Hershel.

Maggie spotted her boys closer to the field of fireflies and held close to the picture of them. She wanted so much to protect them from the world, and it was moments like this that showed her would be able to. She would stand by them come hell and high water, and Hershel would grow old in this world they built for him—old and fat and happy with any luck. She would be proud of him, she already was, and she knew that wouldn't change.

Michonne and Rick sat down with Judith and RJ, Carl came over and joined them, and Rick noted that Enid was hovering beside Maggie, both rubbing their arms for warmth. He didn't think now was the appropriate time to ask Carl what had happened, but he knew. He knew without asking what must have happened, and he set a hand on his shoulder, gripping it tightly.

Carl smiled thinly at him as a thanks then turned to point out the shapes the fireflies made to RJ, who gasped and clapped happily, pulling the boy up in his arms and holding him closer to the high-flying bugs. He smiled and tried to catch the lightening bugs with RJ, only to come up empty. He reminded his little brother to gently cup his hands together and together they managed to catch a handful of lightning bugs—a personal piece of the night sky. They held loosely their cupped hands and peeked inside, both chuckling at their victory, both parting fingers to release their personal sky back into the world. Free to flutter and sparkle and light up the world in its darkest hours.

Tonight was for these little lights, tomorrow would bring a different light, and they would have to wait to see what it would bring.


	19. The Kingdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two years after the events of Let’s Hurt Tonight, Carol and Daryl are ready to head home and return to their lives, but someone is lurking in the woods. Eye locked on the children. Carol’s warrior instinct is conflicted with her mother’s soul, but no one touches her daughter and lives.

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

**Part II: Heart Upon Your Sleeve**

**Two Years Later**

His lips met hers once more, softly and lightly, as gentle as the morning breeze over the spring flowers; and her feet brushed over the backs of his as her body melted into a post orgasm bliss, giggling bubbling up in her chest and escaping through perfect white teeth as she beamed up at him as though he had invented those spring flowers and nurtured their beauty to its prime.

The sheets rustled as he rocked her gently, kissing her chin and her lips over and over, savoring the taste and feel of the woman he loved. Golden light shone in through the parted curtains, reminding them of their daily chores and children waiting just outside.

Daryl rolled her onto her back, her legs moving up to his waist, her knees nearly colliding with his elbows, and he grinned before kissing her once more. He opened his eyes to find those gorgeous sapphires looking back at him, another light laugh passing through her lips, and he pushed silver locks back from her face.

"Good morning." He adjusted his weight to be more on his knees than on her.

"A very good morning." She agreed with a giggle and accepted his brief kiss. "Mmm."

"We gotta get goin'." He didn't say it like he meant it, only to acknowledge they had lives and plans outside these walls. They had several meetings today, to close on their leaving and their finalizations on the walls and expanded area. It was their last couple days in The Kingdom, and they needed to act like it meant something.

"No." She stretched her arms up and flattened them on the headboard. "I don't think we do."

He ducked his head and placed a kiss to her collarbone. "Nope, c'mon. I'll make the eggs."

"Don't tempt me with your eggs." She narrowed her eyes playfully and laughed when he looked at her. "We have so much to clean up before we can have eggs."

"You shower. I'll clean up."

"Thoughtful, but if I do that, you'll end up taking a whore's bath in the sink, and not today. I just cleaned the sink." She dropped her hands down from the headboard and exhaled. "Use the girls' bathroom, and I'll use ours, and we'll meet in the kitchen for breakfast."

"And who cleans up these sheets?"

"Later, Daryl." She pushed herself up onto her elbows and smirked at him. "Later."

"All right, but don't get tired out before bed and beg me to change the beddin' all by myself again."

Thick eyelashes batted at him innocently. "I would never do that to you."

"Again," he added.

"Again," she giggled. "Never again."

"Uh-huh. You are so lucky I love you, woman." He pinned her wrists to the bed and crushed his mouth again hers.

"Momma!" Charlotte called through the door, patiently waiting on the other side for a response. "Daddy?"

"She called you first." Daryl carefully rolled off of her and onto the floor.

"Hey, roll back here." She sat up, a mess of silver curls falling down over her chest and breasts, and she pulled the blankets off of her. "Daryl, please—please. It is so much easier for you to get her than for me. Seriously, please."

"Yeah, I know." He stood up with his pajama shorts on and looked himself over in the vanity mirror, glad to see she hadn't dug her nails in too deep into his back to leave marks, though he was sure he saw the impression of her heel just below his hip when he pulled his pants up. He'd have to look later. "You owe me."

"Bring me eggs, and I'll make it worth it." She smiled sweetly at him.

He sent her a glower in return then walked over to the door and opened it, smiling down at his daughter and crouching down to be at eye-level with her. "What is it, baby?"

"I'm hungry, and Mika's gone for the day."

He twitched and nodded. "All right. I'll be down to make eggs and toast. Why don't you check on Leo for me?"

Her face lit up. "Okay!" She took off like a shot for the kennel the pup was resting in.

Daryl looked back at his messy partner and shook his hair, getting smacked in the face with that hair, and he ran his hand down the length of it. "'Bout time for a haircut."

"I don't know. I like it." She bit her bottom lip and looked over at him. "It gives Charli something to braid besides my hair.

"That shit's mean." His index flew up to stab at her direction. "I still got knots from the last time. Shit hurts."

"Then teach her how to proper braid, Dad." She gathered her hair up and into a messy bun, kicking the blanket off her feet and standing up. "I'm going to pop into the shower. Why don't you and Charli just get started for the day? I'll meet up with you outside."

"All right." He ran his eyes over her nude backside and cleared his throat. "Hey?"

"Yeah?" She turned to face him and caught him blushing slightly, a soft smile broke out across her lips. "I know."

"I mean it."

"I know." She shuffled around the bed and into his arms, embracing him tightly. "I love you, too."

He kissed her brow. "Just wanted you to know it ain't just me."

"I know. I know you three love me. I am very loved." She smiled at him. "It was just…a short period of depression. It happens now and then, but I am okay now. It's beautiful and spring, and it's all good."

"Okay. Good." He squeezed her. "I'll see you outside. Discuss business."

"Yes, sir." She winked and tried not to laugh. "I'll see you outside."

"All right."

* * *

Charlotte ran around the planter, dark curls down her back, freckles kissing her six-year-old skin. She wore a toothy smile, blue eyes alert and playful, and she darted around the planter, chasing her best friend, Emily, and they ran off into the corn field, laughing and squealing as they played tag and go. Dark hairs blew behind the breeze, boots kicking up dust, hems of jeans and a dress dirtying as they tackled one another to the ground, claiming a short victory, only to begin again.

Leo barked and went after the pair of girls, chasing them around and around, nipping at the corner of a shirt, tugging on the hem of a dress. Licking and giving kisses as they stopped to show him affection, and the five-year-old boy, Dylan, Emily's little brother, tried to join them, but the girls were too fast. Charli tried to slow down to give him time to catch up, but he was clumsy and tripped, and Emily told him to go home. She pulled on her friend's arm, and they vanished into the field once more.

Carol leaned over the edge of the porch, looking at the moving corn and hearing laughter from its golden mass. She chuckled and gripped the railing, feeling arms wrap around her waist as a deep chuckle came by her ear, and she inhaled the scents of the Kingdom, of their temporary home. She leaned back into his arms and felt eyes on them. She had a feeling it was Jerry, making faces at them, and she had an eye roll ready, but the eyes belonged to a different man who looked on with jealousy, not adoration at their relationship

"He buggin' you?" Daryl asked, eyes boring into the face of the King, and Carol shook her head, her braided ponytail rubbing against his chin, and he kissed the back of her head. "Lemme know if that changes"

"I will." She pushed her hips back into his. "I have to check on the coop and the horses, check on Noah and Zeke to see how the expansion is coming along. But before I do that, I do have my aforementioned duties, so why don't you see how Noah's doing? Non-work related check up."

He grasped her hips. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do." She peered over her shoulder and kissed him lovingly. "Beth wrote me that she's coming to visit with Monroe. You can't let him know about the surprise, so you need to be at his side. Besides you're the one who said you'd help with the expansion."

"Fine, but I'm gonna catch some stinky little field bugs first."

"Oh, good, because if you weren't, I might have to get out the hose to chase 'em down."

He kissed her cheek and headed into the field, grasping onto the first set of legs he could reach, and he pulled Emily up to his chest, laughing loudly, like a greedy monster. She squealed, and Charlotte came to the rescue, running up and grabbing her daddy's leg. She made an equally loud sound at him and pretended to bite down on his leg. He made a howling sound and went down, careful on how he felt Emily, and he jerked against the ground, sticking his tongue out to the side of his mouth, groaning.

"No, Daddy, no." Charli gripping his shoulders, hair falling into his face, and he could only smell bamboo from the homemade shampoo Jerry's wife had made her. "You can't go."

"Then I won't." He shot up and caught her waist, lifting her up high and bringing her down to rest on his thighs. She giggled and held onto his shirt. "Good morning, angel."

"Good morning, Daddy." She grinned at him. "Is Monroe here yet?"

"No, baby, not yet." He didn't know how she could keep a secret so well, but he was grateful for it, so he didn't have to ruin the surprise. Monroe was the two-year-old daughter of Noah and Beth, cousin to Hershel and newborn Josslyn Rhee, niece of Glenn and Maggie Rhee. She was born into their lives no longer after the adult party. She was a blessing, a beautiful baby girl born with milky white skin, big hazel-blue eyes, and the curliest dirty blond hair anyone had ever seen. She was gorgeous, an absolute gem, according to anyone who laid eyes on her. She was precious, and especially Uncle Daryl, who was a favorite with the girl the last time they saw each other, but honestly, he was the only one she didn't throw up on or pee on or have an explosive diaper moment with.

"But soon."

"Yay. I can't wait to see her." She shifted on his lap and met his eyes. "Will you braid my hair? I have class soon."

"Mom already braided your hair when you woke up. How do I know if I braid it now, you won't mess it up again?"

"No promises, Daddy-o." Emily smirked and giggled at him. "She tackles hard, so I bet it wouldn't do you any good."

"Don't listen to her, Daddy, please. Fix my hair. I like my messy braids."

"Oh, messy braids. I make messy braids?" He couldn't help the offense dancing across his face as he held his six-year-old on his lap. He thought he made semi-decent braids, Carol even told him so, but she was laughing at the time. He thought it was the joke he'd told, but it must have been his messy braids. He would have to get her back for that laughter. That little jerk. He would have to make her pay, somehow, gently.

"Please, Daddy, pretty please." She gripped his shoulder in small hands and pleaded with those big, sapphire eyes. "Come on, Daddy."

"Don't Daddy me." He hauled her up and set her down on her own two feet, standing up and dusting himself off. "You don't get your way as easy as that. You should learn to braid your own hair."

"Why? I'll always have you to braid my hair." She smiled up at him. "C'mon, Emily, or we'll be late for class."

"Oh, right." She clasped her hand and led the way towards their classroom.

Daryl exhaled deeply and looked over the field, a hot breeze, and he remembered that he had to talk to Noah. They were finishing up the last of the expansion project today. It was a mess of paperwork and actual work, and he had to look it over with Abraham and Tobin, who came down five or seven times a month to help with the project. It was a boring meeting, and he wasn't ready to sit there and listen to Noah and Abraham go back and forth about the walls.

Good God, they would go at it for hours and hours about the walls. It wasn't even arguing. It was a mess of gushing about the walls and how they had improved stability and life. He had no idea what they were going on about, because he didn't really care. He did on the basis of protecting these people, but not when they went on and on and dragged out the hours and kept him away from his family. He wanted to spend time with his girls. All three of them.

He thought over that thought and groaned loudly. He'd only seen two of them today, so that meant Mika had woken up early and snuck out to meet with her freckle-faced little boyfriend again. He had agreed to let her see Henry, but only over at the house with supervision. They were fifteen and caught up in hormones, and he didn't trust that they would get in over their heads. They were too young to be fooling around alone. He didn't want to be a grandfather at his age. He did want another little one, but… it wasn't possible. It just wasn't, and he would let this feeling pass.

But until Mika was a fully grown adult, he wasn't going to stand by and let them run away like dogs in heat. For as many times as she'd seen her skirt or blouse rumpled, he knew she was that much closer to losing them than rumpling them, and he told Carol to talk to her. He asked her to, but she seems to think that won't help, that it's all some funny or cute joke. He was seriously displeased with the entire situation.

Sure, the kid had been by for dinner over the course of the last two years, and he had gone hunting with Daryl and out on runs with Carol. He trained with Morgan, and he was a good kid. A loyal young man, Daryl wouldn't deny that, but he wasn't going to stand by and let little prick get busy with his daughter. He knew Mika had her own choices to make and would make that decision when she was ready, but he didn't like it. He hated it, in fact, because it just meant Mika was growing up and away from him. Or so it felt.

He had spent so time trying to get to know Mika and trying to accept his role as her father without overshadowing Ryan's influence. He and she were close. They were like a daughter and father should be, and he wanted to relish in that balance. He wanted to raise her and be a good role model without any negative memories, but Henry was posing a challenging, because Daryl didn't want to be the asshole Dad who didn't approve. He didn't want her to not be able to talk to him about boys and boy issues, because he did want to be a shoulder to lean on, though it wasn't his favorite topic. He still… Well, he cared very much about his oldest, and he would be there as much as she would allow. That was all he could do. That and pray they weren't groping each other the in the woods.

* * *

It felt to be about a million degrees, sweat had broken out across her back and brow, and only the cool breeze that blew now and then cooled her off. Her heart was pounding in her chest, blood rushing faster and faster, and she was sure her heart would bust out of her chest, but she didn't care. It felt exhilarating. Being here with him and no one else was the best feeling in the entire world, though it felt as though nothing else existed.

His hand slid up the length of her thigh, pushing her skirt up, and he pulled her closer, nails biting into her thigh carefully. He pulled back at the moan that escaped through her swollen lips, and he smiled softly before kissing her once more, rolling his hips to push her back against the blankets.

Mika set a hand on his shoulder and pulled back, panting and meeting his eyes, laughing softly.

"What's wrong?" Henry adjusted his weight on his elbow, feeling hay poking at him.

"Air." She laughed louder and brought a hand up to her lips to hush herself. "Slow down. I'm not going anywhere."

"Today." He lowered his eyes and frowned. "I hate that you're leaving."

She bit her bottom lip and brushed sandy hair from his eyes. "I hate it, too. I feel like I can't breathe when my parents talk about going back. I know it's not that far, but…still."

"Can't… can't you just stay behind? I mean, Morgan's always here, so you can stay with him. Your parents trust him and everything." He knew that wasn't going to work. She loved her family more than she loved anything, and she would do whatever she had to do to protect them. He knew this, and even though they loved each other and were a part of each other, she wouldn't—couldn't chose him over them.

"Henry, I—"

"I know. Stupid." He tried to laugh, but it was mirthless, and he ducked his head.

"It's not stupid. Hey, you're not stupid for asking." She cupped her hand against the back of his neck, so he'd be forced to look at her, and she kissed him. "I love that you're thinking of ways for me to stay, but… I have to go back home. Alexandria is where I belong, and maybe you can come with me. I mean, there's hardly anything keeping you here."

"I have my family, too, Mika." He thought for a moment. "We can visit each other, like all the time."

"I'd love to show you my town." She smiled and kissed him deeper this time, leaning forward to press her hips into his, and he wrapped his arms around her, parting her lips and gripping her hips.

It had always been intense between the two of them. Mom called it puppy love and Daryl called it hormones, but Mika called it love. She did love him and knew what that love meant. It meant so much to her, and she felt its weight every time they were together. She wanted to share the entire world with him, and if it called for it, she'd die to protect him, because that was what love partly was—risk and reward in equal measures, especially in this world. You had to risk your own life to protect everyone, and that wasn't okay, but it was the way of the world. Though that wasn't the point.

She knew there was plenty of challenges ahead of them. Like she and her family moving back to Alexandria and putting distance between them. It broke her heart to think of moving and being away from him, to not be a couple houses down from him, to not woke up and not see him at meals, but she would be an adult about it. She would come up with some way to visit, even if it meant hitching onto Morgan's trip. (He was teaching Henry everything he knew about peace and how to fight with a staff to protect and defend, not to kill, in biweekly visits. He would stay, but he had his eye on someone back home, though he wouldn't admit it to Mika, she knew the look.)

She was sure it would be fine. They would be fine. With a love as strong and as potent as theirs, it would be more than fine. They just had to endure a little distance, and if they couldn't then they weren't going to make it. A little distance between lovers could be healthy, and she hoped this was healthy, that they could grow as individuals from the distance and love each other even more, not less. Not like Rosita and her baby's father. Now that was a hot mess.

Her body burned at the feel of his member against her body, and she moaned softly, gripping his shirt tightly, and she wanted to take it further. She always wanted to take it so much further, because it had to feel so good. It had to, because this felt so good, and she couldn't keep denying her body its desires. They were leaving soon, and it'd be an amazing way to say goodbye for now, but…Henry disagreed.

"Wait, stop." He broke their kiss and held a hand up to tell her not to move.

"Hen—"

"Please." He had to focus, or this was going to get awkward.

"It's okay." She brushed her fingers over the hairs on the base of his neck, pressing her hips even more into his, kissing the freckles. "You don't have to hold back with me."

"It's not that." He moved away from her and laughed uncomfortably. "I think we're not alone anymore."

"It's so early." She sat up and looked over the edge of the loft, trying to see anybody, because she didn't hear anybody. "How do you know?"

"Because Morgan comes to the barn every morning around this time." He sat up and pulled his legs him, smiling at her. "And I kinda asked him to meet me here."

"Why?" She looked over her shoulder at him and adjusted her top, looking for her boots in the loose hay.

"I wanted to get an early start on our training, and I thought you'd like to join us." He watched her scramble around to try and locate her boots and bag. "Mika?"

"Henry." She paused and smirked at him. "You are so cute, but not today. I have to help my mom with something."

"All right, leave me all alone."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be heartbroken without me." She kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He caught her hands and pulled her down onto his lap. "Spend tomorrow with me."

"I have to help my family pack up." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "But I'm free after that, so…how about half the day?"

"All right, but you have to promise me."

"I promise." She smiled at him and kissed him. "I'll see you at dinner."

* * *

Carol entered the meeting room where Ezekiel, Daryl, Noah and Abraham were discussing the last details of the expansion area. She held onto a fistful of her dress to keep from tripping over the length of it, and she set a hand on Daryl's back, moving to stand between him and Noah. She could see on the table a new layout for more expansion, and she frowned, knowing that wasn't in the plan.

"What's going on?"

"King here wants to lengthen our stay, add more to the area, which I disagree with." Noah replied, "It's been long enough, and the area is good. The ground is stable. The walls are built. The homes are built. The wells and water systems. We've discussed and taught and shown everything that needs to be done. If you want this area built, your men can handle it alone."

"I only suggested with the new group of people we found, it might be easier if we had more places to put them. We are more welcoming of newcomers than most settlements."

"We're both open to new members," Noah corrected. "It's just that our recruiters have been more active in this area than in ours. People don't want to make the trip to Alexandria or Hilltop once they've settled down in the Kingdom."

"Of course." Ezekiel had to repress an eye roll. "I'll speak to our construction crew and see what we can do about improving the area."

"It's too much too soon. Just let the area settle. Let the walls and the people settle." Noah pushed off the table. "We're leaving come the next few days, and I need you to trust me on this. Please."

"I do trust you. It's why I asked you here to stay, and I'm well aware of the risks of expanding, of opening the walls to add more houses and wells and fields." He cleared his throat and looked over at Carol. "We're making the future, and I see a large future for our peoples. That's all I meant to imply."

"Well, thinking too large can be dangerous. I appreciate you allowing us into your home to assist you with this expansion, but it is done. That's my professional opinion, alongside Abe's and Daryl's, who bled and sweat and worked long nights to ensure the project stayed on time." Noah searched his eyes. "All right?"

He nodded. "Of course. I'll remember to dream less."

"Christ," Noah breathed softly and shook his head. "I have to pack."

Daryl nudged Carol in the ribs to signal that Beth and Monroe were waiting for him in his room, and he smiled at the kid. "Good luck with that."

"Yeah." He headed out and let them argue over God only knew what. He padded down the stairs and sauntered over to the house he and Abraham were staying in. He saw the kids running by to play with their teacher, and he smiled to himself, removing the sour mood Zeke had implied by force.

It was stupid to try and knock down the new walls to build more to the area. They had spent months ensuring that was a good area for the walls to be built upon, and now all of a sudden, he wanted to undo that work because of a thought. No. There was no way Noah was going to agree with that or help with that. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be with his girlfriend and daughter. He wanted to catch up on lost time. He was in no mood to deal with Zeke and his dreams.

He'd spent the last two years with them, and they had to undo so many good ideas because of it. It was partly why they had spent two years over here, because of his wild nature and outlandish desires. Noah had to make the decision to finally ignore the King and trust Abraham and Daryl and the men who volunteered their time to become the construction crew to build the walls and houses as instructed by Noah. He oversaw the project, helped to create the walls, but mostly it was those men and women who offered up their time to improve their home. He had to thank them somehow. They made the stay bearable, but now it was time to go home.

He had never been more excited to go home than he was now. He had so much time to catch up with his daughter. He loved her more than anything on this earth, and he wanted to show her the world he'd built—for her. He wanted to make something that would last and outlive them all in the best possible way, and he wanted her to be able to look back on it and remember him once he was gone. He wanted so much for her, and he could only hope she liked it. He didn't know her very well due to this move, but he would know her. He would be there for her in every way he could be now. That was a promise.

He opened the door to his house and early tripped and fell on his face at the sight of Beth and Monroe. He laughed outright and embraced them both tightly for a good solid ten minutes then grasped Monroe's chubby baby cheeks and kissed them, doing the same for Beth, only kissing her lips instead of her cheeks.

"Welcome home." Beth grinned at him. "Well, not home, but close enough."

"It's home now with you two here." He smiled at her and accepted his baby girl from her arms, holding her close and tugging down the little handmade dress Carol had made for her. "God, what are you doing here?"

"We are here to help you pack." Beth gestured to the room around them and stepped closer to him. "Isn't that right, honey?"

"Daddy's coming home," Monroe murmured against his chest, resting her head on his shoulder, chewing on her thumb.

"That's right. He'll be home with us in a few nights." Beth stroked her baby fine locks and met Noah's eyes. "I've already started on packing. There's just a couple of items you've gotten since being here that I wasn't sure if you wanted or not."

"More like you didn't like them and wanted them to stay behind." He laughed and rocked his daughter gently from side to side out of habit. "I know you too well."

"Okay, you do." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, minding Monroe's head, and she kissed him. "I've missed you, love."

"I've missed you, too." He kissed her lightly and bumped his forehead against hers. "I love you. I'm so glad you're here."

"Me, too." She slid a hand down to cup his cheek and kissed him softly. "I can't wait to get you home and show you what Nina and I did to our bedroom."

"Oh, God, not more bunnies."

"Those are for Monroe, and no." She waited for him to catch on to what she'd said, and his eyes flitted with confusion. She laughed and nodded to confirm his question. "Rick and I wanted to surprise you with a thank you gift for aiding The Kingdom, and we've spent the last two years building a home for us. We are no longer living off Maggie and Glenn and their kids. We have a cute little cottage out by Carol and Daryl's."

"Why a cottage though?" he pretended to question with narrow eyes, and she smacked him lightly in the arm, to which Monroe protested. "Yes, see, Mommy is mean."

"Mommy is not mean, but I am sorry, sweet pea." She kissed her forehead. "Mommy is super excited to show you our home. You're going to love it."

"I'm sure I will." He reached up and tucked hair behind her ear. "We also will have to do something about that bed."

"I know. We'll have to break it in."

"It'll be exhausting."

"But so satisfying." She grinned seductively and kissed him once more, slipping her tongue lightly into his mouth and stroking his cheek. She was so grateful to be here with them, and she would make sure she spent every day showing them this.

"Beth! Noah!" Carol shouted from outside.

"Mmm?" Beth pulled back and frowned. "Carol?"

She opened the door and panted breathlessly. "Have you seen Charlotte? Or Emily?"

"N—no." Beth's blood ran ice cold. "What's goin' on?"

"They were playing in the field with the rest of their class but didn't come back for lunch. They've been looking for the girls for an hour now and just told us." She tried to repress the flashbacks, but it wasn't working. She could hear the screams of her Sophia as she ran into the woods and out of Carol's life forever. "Please, please, help me find them."

"Of course." Noah handed Monroe back to Beth. "I know the area better, so just sit tight and we'll be back."

"But I can't just "sit tight"! Those two girls need everybody lookin' for 'em!" Beth protested, following them out the door. "Noah!"

"We'll be back. I promise." He kissed her roughly and ran after Carol.

"Oh, God, please don't." Beth held her daughter closer and prayed softly. "Don't take her. Don't take them. Please. Please God. I'm begging you, no. Return them home. Keep them safe. Keep them safe…."


	20. The Shadows

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

"Charlotte! Emily?" Those names filled the woods as darkness and walkers descended onto the area. Flashlights and knives were carried, spears and bows armed, and there was screaming of names over and over. Following the noises were the groans and hungry moans of walkers who were attracted to the sounds.

"Charlotte! Emily? Emily! Charlotte!"

It was a negative impact all around. Children were the future, but they were easy to steal. Names were the quickest way to get the attention of person you needed, but the noise could bring walkers down on the searchers. There was no winning here. There was only the pain and the loss the two girls had brought by being taken. It wasn't their fault by any means, but it was bringing harm to everyone that they were missing, perhaps even harm to them if their names brought walkers down on them.

The names ripped from a swore throat of a mother, eyes swollen with worry and unshed tears, lungs burning from calling and shouting and pleading, and she carried herself onward, using the light to follow the trail that had been located. A trail that could have been forged by curious and lost little ones, though the trail was a bit erratic to follow. Erratic in a way that implied a walker was following it, too, by the kicked up leaves and twigs, though it could easily be steps being run over. It was difficult to tell.

Carol was crouched down in the middle of the woods, hands pressed to her ears, tears involuntarily falling down her cheeks as she rocked herself slowly back and forth, the muffled sounds of names being called out around her. She squeezed her eyes shut and for a moment thought she heard Sophia's voice calling out Charlotte's name.

 _'Charlotte Andrea, where are you?'_ That sweet voice seemed to call.  _'Come out, come out. You'll make Mommy sad, Charli.'_

She cringed and pressed her hands more into her ears, shuddering and feeling someone watching her in the darkness. Her eyes snapped open at the feeling and moved to look around to see if she could locate the curious eyes, but there was nobody to be found by her flashlight's beam. She called at them to come out, to come out right now, but there was nothing. No movement. No leaves or twigs crunched or snapped. There was only Charlotte! and Emily! being called out around her.

Though in the darkness eyes flashed and a hissed seeped through bloodied lips as they drew back, holding onto the dark hair child, the chosen child. They could hear the names being called, see the mothers' tears, but it did not matter. The girl had a higher purpose. She would not waste away at their side.

"Come now, child," they whispered into the ear of the brown-haired girl. "The Shah calls for you."

"Momma…."

"Hush now. Hush forever."

* * *

Carol straightened her spine, the quiver realigning itself on her spine, and she exhaled, wiping at her eyes and drawing air into the deep cavity of her lungs. She stepped out from the shadow of herself and continued onward, following the trail she and Charli used to walk with Ezekiel and Shiva during the winter, because it opened to a glen were Shiva could hunt and Charli could make snowmen. It was lovely, full of happy memories, and she prayed that snow didn't become red in reality.

"Carol."

She raised her eyes to find Zeke approaching her without Shiva. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard your daughter and Nadine's went missing. I… I am so sorry. I'm here to help in any form that you need. I lent Shiva to Daryl, in hopes she could track the girls' scent. I realize she's essentially a large cat, but still. That girl bears the heart of a lioness. Shiva may find her yet."

She smiled weakly at the intention. "Thank you."

"I thought I'd find you here on the path. I'm glad I was right." He set a hand on her shoulder consolingly. "Let's go."

They hurried down the path to the glen to see if Charli had taken Emily to play, but there was no sign of life beyond the trees and the animals. It hadn't been touched since their last trip up, and Carol frowned, looking over the area for any signs of her daughter or Emily or anyone who may have been following them, but there was nothing. No signs, no following. There was only grass and mushrooms and Charli's height carved into a tree.

Carol brought the walkie up to her lips and called out, "Daryl? Are you there?"

It crackled and came to life.  _"Yeah, I'm here_."

"Have you found anything? The glen is empty, and the trails I sent Nadine on are dead. There's no sign of the girls here."

" _I know. I'm comin' up empty, too."_

She sniffled. "Nothing?"

He hesitated and nodded. " _Nothing_."

"Okay. Um, have the party circle back to the field and try to find anything, like her earrings or boots or anything. We told her have to leave items behind in case anything happened."

"I did. I sent Noah to instruct them. He's good at detail, Carol. He'll find somethin'."

" _I will_ ," Noah chimed in over his walkie. " _And I may have. Did Charli own a pink wire bracelet? It's plastic but looks like wire."_

"No," Carol shook her head then remembered her coming home super excited to show off her new friendship bracelet. "Yes. She got it from Em. They were… They are friendship bracelets."

" _Then we have a trail. I'll send Abraham on ahead and look for anything else."_

"Thank you, Noah." She closed her eyes in relief. "Thank you."

" _She's my family, too,"_  he replied. " _I'll do everything I can to bring her home to you."_

She snuffled once more and exhaled, lowering the walkie and turning to Ezekiel. "You head back and help Noah. I'm going to go on ahead towards the road, just in case. We need to cover everything."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along, my lady?"

She paused. "No, I'm not really sure." She was so scared of reliving past events that all her training and skill seemed to have left her limp and unmoving. Her precious six-year-old was missing, and she had to find her before walkers or bad people did. What were the chances of history repeating itself?

"I'm here with you." He clasped her hand. "We'll go together."

"Ezekiel…."

"Come. We shan't waste any more time."

The walkie crackled once more. " _Carol_?"

She lifted it up at the sound of Daryl's voice. "Yes?" She looked at Ezekiel and swallowed hard. "I'm here."

" _We'll bring her home to you,"_ he vowed. " _That's our little girl. She's born to survive. She'll be just fine, and we'll be there for her, no matter what. She knows how to hide, how to avoid walkers. You taught her how to protect herself and others. The only thing we gotta worry about is how much we're gonna smother her once she gets home."_

She laughed lowly. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

He pulled her forward and escorted her out of the glen towards the road.

* * *

Daryl was heading back to meet up with Noah when he ran into Beth, and he asked her what she was doing. She explained Monroe was with Jerry's wife, and that she wasn't going anywhere until his little girl and Nadine's were found. She wasn't going to be the type of person who sat back with children while a family member was in danger, not anymore. She was going to do something to change the record for Carol. So that meant going on with Daryl.

"We've been looking for hours." Beth commented, "How could we not have found her? Or her trail?"

"Someone may have grabbed her and polluted their trail to make it look like a walker," he replied. "I can't speak for sure on that theory, but the sun will be up soon, and we got nothin', so this person or persons are good. They've done this before, and they want something from Charli and Em. I just don't know what."

"There's nothing those sweet girls can offer that an adult couldn't." Beth didn't want to think why they had taken two weak little girls instead of two men or two women, but her mind went there anyway. If someone raped Charli and Emily because they were small and easy targets, she was going to slaughter them, bring them back and slaughter them again. There was no kill when it came to children after becoming a mother; there was only death and slaughter. She wasn't the type to resort to such measures, but if anything happened to those girls, anything that left those small bodies bruises and broken, she would resort to those measures and then some. She had a dark side, but she chose to ignore it until possibly now.

"If anythin' happens to my kid," Daryl warned the woods, "or to Emily, I'll fuckin'…." He seethed and hissed and kicked the trunk of the nearest tree with all his might, causing it to almost quake. "Fuck!"

"Hey, easy there." She caught his shoulders and stilled him. "We'll get through this. We'll find her. I know we will."

"We'd better, or I'm razin' this whole goddamned wood." He stormed off.

"Daryl—look out!"

* * *

Charlotte came to in the middle of the road, the moonlight shining down on her, and she frowned, sitting up and feeling cuts on her legs. She panicked and went numb, sensing eyes on her, and she shot up to her feet, the heel of her boots smacking against the road loudly.

"Shh, shh." The woman came out of the shadows and bent down to be at level with her, hand hovering over her arm. She wore rags from the look of it, long flaxen hair dreaded and matted. She had dirt on her hands and something thick and glopped onto her thumb. "Easy, my child, easy."

"Who are you?" she demanded, not seeing a familiar road in sight, but it was too dark. The light provided by the moon wasn't enough, and she knew her way back to the Kingdom on most roads but not this one. Where the heck was she? Where was Mom and Dad? Mika? Where was anybody? "Where's my parents? My home?"

"Don't worry. It'll be all right. It was a mistake." She swiped her thumb across the child's forehead, leaving a thick trail of nature's medicine in her thumb's wake. "Just a simple mistake. You aren't ready yet. You aren't chosen yet."

"What?" Her brows furrowed and the scent of the woman overpowered her, making her woozy. She smelled of nature but something else, and it made the world jiggle before her eyes. "W—wha…?"

"Shh." She grasped her arm and smiled with yellow teeth, tucking hair behind Charli's ears and brushing her thumb once more over her brow. "But you are a pretty one. I will make note of you, child." She pulled a blade from her belt and Charlotte tumbled away, stumbling on rocks and tripping. "Easy, child, easy. I won't hurt you."

"No." Charli crawl backwards, rocks digging into her cuts, and she couldn't help but cry. "Mommy! Mommy!"

"Shh. You'll bring the blessed down upon us. Not yet, not yet." She leapt and pinned the girl down, the girl whimpered and yelped, and she brushed her hair back from her brow. "I am the artist. You are being marked, my child. You will rise, like the others, like the friend. Trust, please, trust."

"Mommy…." She felt the world twisting away from her as something wet and warm ran down her brow. She couldn't feel any pain, but she knew it had to be blood. Her blood. This woman was cutting into her forehead. She couldn't move to fight, and she felt her stomach curling. She was going to pass out. She just knew it.

The woman carved a crown into the naturally numbed skin of the child, wiping blood and moss away as she worked to make it perfect, to make it deep enough to be seen. She would let her people know to take the child when it was time. She was too young right now, but soon. Soon she would fulfil her potential in the world and become as blessed as the others. She would be worshiped and fed and preserved for as long as possible. She would be a goddess. Yes, a true goddess. The Shah would know her as theirs, and no one else's, yes. Yes.

She marveled at her work and tossed her head back to let the moon and the blessed see such a beauty mark on such a soon chosen one. She moaned quietly and smiled, closing her eyes and dropping the bloodied blade on the ground to hear its hollow clatter. She inhaled the crisp night air and leaned down to smell the child, the scent of the Shah already upon her, and she chuckled, licking away a stream of blood from her brow and whispering into her ear.

"You are ours now."

* * *

Carol and Ezekiel continued walking onward, their hands had separated long ago, but he kept close to her for support. She was glad to not be alone out here, but there was a sinking feeling in her gut that there was more going on around here than she was aware of. She felt like the trees were closing in on her, and she was grateful to find the road.

They stepped out of the woods and saw two figures ahead. Carol pulled an arrow from her quiver, and Ezekiel readied his knife as they drew closer, but it was only Mika and Henry. Carol lowered her arrow as the closed the space between them, and Mika ran up to hug her tightly. She was surprised to see her outside the Kingdom, but she was glad to have a part of her family so close to her during this time. Zeke was kind, but he wasn't family, not like her daughter.

"Mom." She released her and held her arms. "I'm sorry we're outside the wall, but we wanted to help. We had to help."

"It's okay. I understand." She stroked her cheek. "But why follow the road?"

"We would have driven, but I'm not the best driver in the dark, and Morgan wouldn't let me have the keys." Henry shook his head. "We just had to follow a path, and Mika chose the road."

Carol looked at her daughter. "You chose the road?"

"Yeah, it's the easiest route in and out of the Kingdom." She nodded her head. "And we can't accidentally get lose this way. I know how to track and how to leave trails, but I didn't wat to test that out in the dark."

"I wish you would have told me you were coming out here. I would have asked you to come with me or Daryl." Carol frowned. "I have enough worrying me tonight."

"I'm sorry. We just had to lend a hand. She's my baby sister, and I have to bring her home."

"I understand. Let's continue searching together, Daryl may have a lead, but he hasn't gotten back to me." She lifted the walkie. "He would have radioed me by now if they found something, so I don't think he's had any luck."

"Let me ask." Mika accepted the walkie from her mother and called to Daryl, but there was no response. She frowned and tried once more, and Henry mentioned he may have fall out of range. They weren't the best walkies to reply on, but they weren't this shitty. Mika didn't like it.

"I'll double back and check on his location." Mika handed the walkie back. "Henry and I will head home with him, okay?"

"I thought you didn't want to test your tracking in the middle of the night."

"I don't like it, but I'll do it. I want him to be okay, too, and he isn't the best with finding when his emotions are low." She smiled and embraced her mom once more before taking a hold of her boyfriend's hand and heading off the road back into the woods. "Stay close to me, okay, Henry?"

"I'll be right beside you." He fell into step with her and used his flashlight as a guide through the woods.

Carol sauntered down the road, bow at the ready, eyes alert for any movement, and Zeke walked behind her, keeping an eye on the road behind them. They searched the entire road, up and down, until the sun began to peek over the clouds. Zeke suggested heading back to regroup when Carol screamed in frustration and shot a nearby walker. He jumped at her precision and cry, and he approached her, but he didn't dare touch her.

"Where the fuck is my daughter?!" she shouted with a break in her voice, nearly collapsing. "Where's my baby?"

"Carol…."

She readied another arrow at a nearing walker and let it loose with an aggravated cry, the arrow lodged in its shoulder and against a tree, so she took her knife out to finish the job when there was a soft cry coming from the woods.

"Charlotte?" Ezekiel approached the sound as Carol stood there frozen. "Emily?"

Carol tossed the arrow back into the quiver and dropped the bow, moving by Ezekiel to reach the moving shadow. She grasped her flashlight and turned it on to see the pale, bloody face of her six-year-old daughter. "Oh, baby girl!" She dropped the light and ran to embrace her, pulling her into her arms.

"Mommy." She sobbed and wrapped her arms around her tightly. "I was so scared."

"I know, but I'm here now. It's okay." She kissed her hair and tasted something odd there. It wasn't blood. It was whatever was coating her brow. "What happened to you? Where's Emily?"

"They took her. They took her," she sobbed. "I wanna go home."

"Of course." She picked her up off the ground. "We'll go home. We'll go home."

"I want Daddy and Mika." She dug her nails into her mom's forearm and bawled, little face turning red as she sputtered and stammered and wheezed. Her brow was stinging and throbbing like there was someone knocking on her skull, and she wanted to go home. She wanted her bed and her family. She wanted to turn time back and not follow the lady into the woods. She didn't want help. She wanted to hurt them. She just wanted to hurt them. God, Emily…. "I want Emily, Mommy. I want her back."

"Shh, shh. I know, baby. I know." She stroked her hair and carried her back towards the road, heading for home. "Zeke?"

"I've got you covered." He set a hand on the small of her back and kept an eye on the road so she could keep an eye on her daughter.

They hurried back to the Kingdom, Ezekiel tracked down the doctor while Carol took Charli to the clinic and looked her over. She was breathing evenly now, asleep after the walk home, and she was coated in blood and mud and tears. She looked dead, if it weren't for her breathing, Carol might believe she was dead before her now.

Her legs were cut up from rocks, Carol knew the familiar wounds from when Sophia and Carl used to play down at quarry. Her clothes were torn and muddied. Dark locks were matted with mud and leaves, all signs of her curls from the braids were gone. Little round face was smudged with mud and blood, and there was a thick layer of mud or something along her brow. There was a shape in the mud, and Carol frowned at the realization that it was a crown—carved into her daughter's brow.

"What the fuck?" She heard clamor coming from behind her as Zeke and Dana entered, fingers pushing back Charli's hair and picking small leaves out of the wound.

"What do we have here?" Dana snapped out gloves and looked over the small body before her. "My God."

"Someone carved into her brow." Carol's rage was only matched by the heartbreak in her tone, and Ezekiel clasped her hand to support her. "Someone carved into my daughter's face." She felt nothing but rage at whoever had done such an action to her little girl. She wanted to find them and gut them for hurting her, for infecting her very face and by causing her the pain of healing and scarring. That son of a bitch better come across Daryl's path was all she had to say.

"Huh." Dana gestured to the thick substance on the young girl's brow. "These are medicinal. Likely numbing agents to keep her from feeling the blade."

"They… What?" Carol stepped forward and realized then Zeke had a hold of her hand and waist and removed her hand to gesture to her daughter. "They—they numbed her? Before they hurt her? Why do that?"

"Why carve a crown at all?" Dana shrugged a shoulder. "I can't speak on it, but I can say I will need you to hold her down."

"Okay." She nodded and exhaled. "God."

"Hey, it's okay." Ezekiel stood beside her and set a hand on her shoulder. "She'll recover. Maybe some bangs on would be best for her next haircut."

Carol smiled weakly. "Maybe."

"How pissed is Daryl about this?" Dana tested the substance to see it was semi-hardened on the child's brow and frowned. "Should I hide the breakables?"

"Oh, shit." Carol gasped. "I—I totally forgot to walkie him. He doesn't even know that we found her. Noah and Mika don't know either. Ezekiel, could you tell them? I—I can't leave her side."

"I will." He nodded and squeezed her shoulder before grabbing the spare walkie off the its charging pod and stepping out to alert Noah, Mika and Daryl of the located girl. He informed them to keep looking for Emily, because according to Charli, she was still out there. He waited a moment for Daryl or Mika to reply, Mika came in first then Daryl; and he told them he'd see them when he saw them and wished them luck before signing off.

In the clinic Dana began to remove the thick substance, and Charlotte began to whimper and rouse, crying at the stinging of the semi-hardened herbal ointment cutting into the wound on her head, and Carol held her hands tightly, telling her to squeeze when it hurt, to be still. Charli screamed when the first tip of the crown was peeled off, Carol's eyes shut firmly and her hands moved to hold her daughter still.

Dana apologized and tried to make the process easier, but it peeled off like a wax job, cutting open the slightly healed wound, and blood poured from the deep cuts. She cursed and grabbed for gauze when she was only halfway through, and Carol told her to rip it off. Dana hesitated, but Carol was serious and meant for her to do it. Dana told Charli to take a deep breath then yanked the last bit off, she screamed and whimpered and kicked, blood rolling down of her nose an the side of her temple and over her eyelids.

"Shh, shh." Carol stroked her hair and blew lightly on the wound. "You did so good. You did so good."

"Mommy." She wheezed. "It hurts so bad, make it stop." She was bawling and trying to touch the wound, and Carol held her arms down again. "Mommy!"

"I know, baby. It's almost over." She soothed her. "Can you give her anything? Please? I—I'll do anything, just please—please, Dana."

She stammered and nodded. She knew Charlotte wouldn't be taking anything, so an inject it would have to be. She made it as quick as possible, Charli cried and wanted to be held by her mom, but the bleeding wouldn't stop. Carol said she didn't care and held her daughter, minding the gauze trying to slow the seemingly profuse bleeding, and Dana stroked Carol's back as a way to stroke Charli's in spirit. She smiled sadly down at the young girl as she lost consciousness in her mother's arms.

"Here." Dana removed the bloody gauze and threw them away, inspecting the wound now and seeing it would need stitches. She had suspected as much, but it was another thing to confirm it. "How are you doing?"

"I am furious." She rocked her daughter still in her arms and exhaled deeply, slowly, trying stifle the rage brewing inside of her. "If I find the person who did this to her, to Emily…."

"Hey, take it easy now." Dana set a hand on Carol's shoulder and tried to console her. "Daryl will find them. Or Noah will. They won't get away with this. Someone out there will find them and make them pay for this. I promise you."

Carol set her daughter down to allow Dana to stitch the wound, Carol could see the lines were very clean and straight, not done by an average blade, and Dana made the same comment. Carol wanted Daryl here to hold Charli while she razed the woods to find the fucker who did this to her. It would scar her both physically and mentally, and she would see this every day when she looked in the mirror to brush her hair or brush her teeth and nobody was going to answer.

Sure, Daryl or Noah may be able to locate this person or persons, but it did nothing to right this. It offered nothing but words and a death. It did not heal the scar, ease her pain. It was simply an action to avenge an action and no real justice would be found. It infuriated her. She wouldn't stand by and let it happen again. This person would pay by her hand. Once Daryl was back, she was going out if he hadn't already located this person. Carol wasn't going for the head of the snake—she was going for the body of it.

* * *

Mika didn't like that Daryl wasn't the first person to respond to the news of Charlotte being found and told Henry of her discomfort. He told her it was probably excitement or worry that caused him delay, but she didn't like how it settled on her gut. Something was wrong, so she radioed Noah to let him know where to meet up. She moved to another channel to keep Mom and Charli from knowing of her plan and moved out.

"Meeks, it's getting dark, we should go back," Henry commented, not liking having to rely on flashlights and natural moon's light to see their way. "We could be surrounded and not know it."

"We're not surrounded by anything but trees." She stopped and turned to him, flashlight on his face, and he winced at the sudden light, raising a hand to block it. "Sorry, but I can't let this feeling go. He could be in danger by the same people who took Emily. We don't know anything about her being missing until Charli is conscious and feeling better. So, we have to act now, okay? We have to act, so either follow me or stay behind."

"Of course I won't stay behind." He frowned at the insinuation of him letting her wander in the woods alone at night when two young girls were attacked. "No way."

She smiled softly at him. "We'll stick together and find my dad and Beth." She reached out with her free hand and clasped his. "C'mon. We should start by following their footsteps."

"That's all the way back to the Kingdom."

"Yep, so we might get a sunrise if we don't hurry up." She tugged him forward and inhaled, putting on her game face to ready herself for what might come out of these woods tonight. She was ready to do whatever it would take to keep Daryl and Emily safe. She could only hope she had the chance to save them before they were lost.

"Let's go."


	21. Unknowable Bliss

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

**Two Years, Four Days Ago**

_Daryl met Rick outside as the girls were running back and forth with toys and light boxes, taking them to the car. Carol and Michonne were trying to get on them to be careful, and Maggie and Glenn were dodging them as they carried out more clothes._ _Daryl and Rick stood by the second car that Noah and Beth had already packed, and the pair were inside saying goodbye, so Daryl wanted to make this short and sweet. He leaned against the car, arms crossed, expression seemingly causal, and he went for the throat after wasting enough time._

_"You and Carol," he began, "what happened that day? What did you say to her? To make her so afraid to come back home?"_

_Rick's brows shot up as astonishment coursed through him. "W—what?"_

_"You heard me. What did you say to her?"_

_"Daryl, that was so long ago. I don't even remember all of it, to be honest." He had told Daryl everything once he'd gotten back to the prison and after he'd checked on the garden. He'd told Daryl the whole truth. He'd been punched in the gut, in the face, shoved into the bars and nearly beaten down until Maggie and Tyreese came and pulled Daryl off him. It was horrible. Worse than the beating Ty had given him, worse than the beating the Governor had given him. He had a few scars from the wild rampage Daryl had gone on him, and knowing now what he did, he would have beaten him much worse._

_"It affects her to this day, you know," Daryl sneered. "You…and your words are still swirling around in her head after all this time."_

_"Daryl, I—I never meant—"_

_"I don't give a shit what you meant or didn't mean to do. You affected her way of being, Rick, and that ain't gonna settle with me. She's…everythin' to me, and you hurt her mentally. In a way that I can't fix, and you can't fix it either."_

_"I can try—"_

_"I ain't here to ask you to fix it. She doesn't remember the words, just your tone, and you can't fix that. Not after all this time. She's made some sort of peace with it, I hope. I don't…wanna reopen any wounds, and neither are you, so…I just wanted to let you know that it's her."_

_Rick frowned and stammered. "W—what do you mean, it's her?"_

_"I pick her," he pointedly repeated. "We ain't brothers."_

_"Daryl, wait a minute—"_

_"My brother wouldn't have done what you did, especially…lied to my face about how bad it was to soften the blow." He pushed off the car. "We'll stay cordial for the kids, but beyond that…no. We ain't brothers. We ain't friends."_

_"Over a conversation that happen four years ago? One that didn't even involve you? She killed two of our own, Daryl. I had to do what I had to do back then, and it wasn't like you knew her all that well. She didn't even tell you what she did. Evidently, fuckin' and knowin' somebody—" Rick jumped back when Daryl pushed off the car, and he held his hands out in an attempt to keep this civil. "Don't, not in front of the kids."_

_"I won't, but don't go there. She saved Carl because of who she is. She saved my daughter because of who she is. Beth. Noah. Probably Denise, who also helped save your son. You need to realize people like Carol and me evolve faster in shitty times, perhaps faster than you can handle. She did what she did out of mercy, and I understand that. I always did. She's a force of a nature, born to survive this world better than you or me, and I just need you to understand that."_

_"I know she is. I am glad she is. I…. I made a mistake, all right? I'll confess to that. I shouldn't have cast her out, but I did. It happened. We can't let it affect us now."_

_"But it does. It is." He shook his head. "She and my daughters are my main priority now, and you hurt her, so we're done."_

_"Just like that?"_

_"Yeah, just like that. You did wrong by her, and I can't accept that right now. She might be able to, but not me. Not now."_

_Rick scoffed as Daryl walked off to rejoin his family, and he tried not to follow after him to demand he grow the fuck up, but he understood. He did do wrong by Carol, and he couldn't make that right by simply acting like it didn't happen. He had hoped it had been put behind them, but apparently not._

_He hadn't expected it to still be on Carol's mind after all this time, but he had been cruel with her. He had spat at her, hissed and threw words so foul at her. He wanted her to know she'd done wrong, because she didn't seem to grasp that. She didn't like it, but she still did it and seemed to feel nothing towards the action. He had misread her lack of empathy. He was blind to her in that moment, and he wished he could take it back, wished he could have seen, but there was little point. He did what he did, and he'd lost his brother because of it. There was still time in the future to repair that bridge or build anew._

_But that was for another day. Perhaps his move to the Kingdom wasn't based on a whim after all. He needed time and space, and the Kingdom needed walls. They both were able to win. Somewhat._

* * *

**One Year and Three Months Ago**

_"You can't be serious," Carol whispered softly in the "throne room", seeing neither Zeke or Jerry, and she didn't even see Shiva. In fact her cage was even empty, and she frowned, following Daryl down the downward slope, nearly crash into him at the sudden speed she found herself picking up to. "Whoa."_

_"Easy." He caught her shoulders and chuckled. "And you don't gotta whisper. Kingy and the cat are on a walk."_

_"How do you even know that?" She steadied herself and walked around him. "And he has a name."_

_"Yeah, and a title. Remember the last guy we met with a title?"_

_"Okay, that's taking it way too far. They are opposite men who happen to have titles given to them by their people." She padded up the stairs to the throne and looked around at where meetings were held. "I can't even imagine how he managed to have these people call him King and His Majesty. It seems so ridiculous. We may have gone back in times in regards to making our own homes and food and energy, but we haven't gone back that far."_

_"Yeah, bet the guy wants a queen." Daryl walked across the stage and dropped down on the throne, finding it uncomfortable and trying to adjust himself on it to be comfortable, but it wasn't working. "Jesus, they ain't got cushions?"_

_She snorted a laugh. "Well, Ezekiel has more ass padding."_

_He shot her a glare._

_"What? You expect me to not look? I know even Rick has an ass, if it makes you feel any better." She approached him, setting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not an ass person, but when you're forced to look down all the time for years, you find some benefits."_

_He frowned and grasped her hips, pulling her mindfully down on top of him, and she rested her hands on his shoulder, knowing he was feeling bad about her past. It was silly, because it was beyond his control. He needed to stop and just focus on them right now, so she kissed him lightly._

_"Hey, come back to me." She pushed hair back from his face and traced a kiss on his brow. "Don't think about that right now. I'm here with you, so you need to be with me."_

_He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. "I am with you."_

_"Good."_

_He smirked up at her, her eyes narrowed, and he began to tug up the front of her dress. She knew instantly what he had in mind, and she wasn't sure if it was to be with her in this moment or to stick it to Ezekiel for flirting with her the entire meeting of the Kingdom's expansion they'd just had yesterday. She tried to figure out the answer as he kissed her neck and her collarbones and licked along her cleavage. As her eyes shut, she decided it was both and left it at that, helping him to unbutton his jeans and finding his lips…_

* * *

_Sex on the throne had been hotter than they had expected, especially since the risk of being cause increased with each passing minute, and Carol hadn't recalled a recent time when Daryl came as hard as he did in that throne room. She told him he was a child, and he laughed and asked her what did that make her. She cupped a hand over his mouth as she blushed and rolled her eyes to cover._

_They ducked out of the building without being noticed and headed to their home to change and get ready to meet the girls who would be just getting out of class by the time they would arrive. They embraced the warm spring air and held hands as they walked across the lot, Jerry spotted them and jokingly called them the Duke and Duchess of the Kingdom, as they were the next people of power Ezekiel had. He trusted them and honored them, so they truly were like a Duke and Duchess. Carol could only make a face at him as Daryl called back that he and his were the true Duke and Duchess, laughing with Jerry, and Carol realized she was surrounded by a small pack of boys._

_"Have a good day, Jerry." She headed onward towards the classroom, and Daryl fell into step beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. "See you for dinner tomorrow night?"_

_"Absolutely!" he called after them._

_Daryl really liked that guy. He was very genuine and sweet, and that was rare in this world. He could do what it took to ensure the safety of his King and Kingdom, but he was overall a jokester. Daryl appreciate that, especially when he took it into the classroom and brought on laughs and learning. He was Charlotte's favorite teacher, and Daryl understood exactly why. If he had such a teacher in school, he might have become someone. Not that it mattered, because he was where he exactly wanted to be._

_Once they were at the school, Charli ran over to them and Daryl bent down to scoop her up and squeeze her tightly, and Carol rubbed her back, looking for Mika and seeing her with Henry. She looked over at Daryl, and his jaw set at the sight of them holding hands. They were saying goodbye, and Daryl was tense at the sight of Henry not letting go._

_"It's okay. He's just asking her to help with homework." Carol could read his lips. "It's fine."_

_"I don't like his hands bein' on her."_

_"Oh, they're holding hands. It's fine." She set a hand on his arm. "Calm down."_

_"Fine. I am calm." He adjusted his daughter in his arms and moved away to not see that little boy putting little boy moves on his little girl. They were almost fifteen, and soon sex and hormones would be their entire world. "So, how was school? You learn anythin' new?"_

_"Yeah, we learned about gorillas and monkeys and apes," Charli gushed. "And we went over the alphabet and will be taking a field trip to the zoo!"_

_The zoo was a room filled with projectors that was used once a year to remind the children of this world of the animals still out there somewhere. It was an idea that Jerry had come up with, and Noah helped by providing more projectors after a run to a neighboring school. It was a beautiful experience, and Daryl was grateful Charli and Monroe would have those memories._

_And thinking of Monroe Annette, she would be coming down with Beth in a few days to visit Noah. They were going to have dinner and spend the day roaming the Kingdom and expansion area that finally had walls halfway built. They were taking it slow and steady to ensure stability. Noah had an idea on how to reinforce the walls internally, and Abraham thought it was crazy enough to work. Daryl didn't ask for details, but he trusted Noah. The kid was good at his job and read a lot. That made a good business man—constantly learning, asking and staying humble. He was a good man, a good match for Beth, and honestly Daryl was considering him to be a damn good friend._

_"Mom, hey." Mika joined them and beamed up at them. "Hey, Daryl."_

_"Hey, kiddo." He smiled at her. "Good day?"_

_"The best. I cannot wait for the zoo. I know it won't be the same, but I am super stoked." She smiled at her parents. "I have so much homework to do before the trip. Could I go to the library?"_

_"Alone, or with your new best friend?" Carol teased._

_She blushed. "Mom, it isn't like that. We are just friends. Good friends." She looked over at Daryl for support, but he was awing over Charli's sun catcher she made today with her teachers. Mika had made a few when she first started class, but now she was too old for it. She still loved them and even gave one to Henry. It was a heart with a heart inside painted purple and green with yellow on the shiny spot. Those were his favorite colors, though he would seldom admit that about the purple. His brother used to tease him about it, and Mika knew just how much he missed that teasing. As much as she missed her messed up big sister._

_"And Daryl and I were just good friends once."_

_"It's not like that with us, trust me. He's such a nerd." She shook her head. "Anyway, he wants to do homework together. Can I go? I'll be back in time for dinner."_

_"Absolutely. Why don't you bring him home for dinner, too? I bet he could use a home cooked meal."_

_"That'd be nice. I'm sure he'd like that." She gripped her backpack. "I'll see you tonight, okay?"_

_"All right. You have a good time." Carol stroked her cheek. "Study hard for me."_

_"Always." She kissed her little sister's cheek and hugged Daryl then jogged off towards the library to study._

_"I'm gonna lose my mind worryin' about that girl," Daryl announced to his little girl and Carol. "Just utterly lose it."_

_"Welcome to parenthood, Dad." Carol kissed his cheek and rested her chin on his shoulder, looking at the pretty sun catcher Charlotte had picked out and painted. "Ooh, I love that blue. It looks like our eyes."_

_"That's why I picked it." Charlotte smiled. "Do you like it?"_

_"Yes, I love it."_

_"It's for your birthday," Charlotte continued._

_"Oh, my birthday?" She couldn't help but chuckle. "How did you know it was Mommy's birthday?"_

_"Daddy told me."_

_"Well, I don't know exactly if it is my birthday, but I've never gotten such a perfect gifts before." She accepted the sun catcher. "Thank you, baby."_

_"You're welcome, Mommy." She held her arms out to be hugged, and Carol chuckled before embracing her little bundle of sweetness. "I love you."_

_"I love you, too."_

* * *

_"You are being such an asshole right now." Carol tried not to shout, because the girls were in bed, and it was late, but she was furious with Daryl. She wanted to throw him out on his ass and not let him back in until this fight was over and won in her favor. "She is not too young."_

_"She is five years old. We keep her in the walls. We keep her safe."_

_"It doesn't matter what we do. It's what the world does. I lost two little girls to this world. Do you expect me to sit back and let it take another one?!" She slammed her hands down on the island and leaned towards him. "You, of all people, should understand where I am coming from. How can you stand there and pretend this world won't eat her alive if we aren't there? If these walls weren't there?"_

_"That isn't going to happen. She always has Mika with her. She has Jerry and Dana. Nadine. She has Emily, who is eight and can protect herself. She carries a knife. Charli has protection at all times, and when she is older, I swear I'll agree to training. I will train her myself. I just… I can't have my five-year-old totin' around a piece. I can't… Do you know how dangerous guns are? Knives too? She could hurt herself more than she could hurt a walker. Or a person. She is too young. She can barely walk without trippin'."_

_"She isn't too young, and you end up alone so easy in this world. No matter how close any of us, the risk is too high. You have to agree with me. Daryl, please, come on!"_

_"What's going on?" Mika asked, sitting on the steps, having listened to them fight for the past two hours without actually hearing. She was upset and wanted to fix it, but she didn't know how. She was tired of listening and of sitting. So she spoke. "Why are you fighting?"_

_Carol blanched. "Baby… I—I…."_

_"Mika." Daryl walked around to the steps and stammered. "W—what all have you heard?"_

_"Hours and hours of non-stop fighting." She was crying now that they were closing in on her, and she couldn't stop. She wanted it to stop now. "Please, stop fighting with each other."_

_"No, no, Mika." Carol crouched down by the steps and grasped her hands while Daryl wrapped his arm around her shoulder and let her rest her face against his chest. "Shh, it's okay. We…we were just arguing. Couples do that now and again when they disagree. It isn't all negative."_

_"It isn't?" She questioned. "How is yelling at each other a good thing?"_

_"We didn't say it was a good thing, but it isn't somethin' for you to have to listen to either." Daryl frowned and pushed hair back from her cheeks. "Hey, hey, it's all right. You don't gotta cry. We're still in love, still your parents. We'll…come to a compromise."_

_She snuffled. "A compromise?"_

_"Yes, of course." Carol rubbed her hands and brought them up to kiss her knuckles. "We'll compromise and we'll get it sorted, but for now, we're still not agreeing. I believe one thing based off experience, and Daryl believes something else based off a different experience, too, so…we're kinda at a roadblock."_

_"You want Charli to learn how to fight, right?" Mika snuffled, wiping at her face now that Carol had released her hands. "Like how you taught us."_

_"That's correct."_

_"And I don't think that's necessary right now. She's just a… a five-year-old. She deserves to do five-year-old things, not learn how to fight." He met Carol's eyes. "Judith survived just fine without trainin'."_

_"But our girl isn't Judith," Mika commented. "Judith is Judith, and you can't compare the past to the future, Daryl. You told me that."_

_Carol chuckled. "Our girl, huh?"_

_"She's my little sister. It's my job to protect her." She snuffled. "And I think you're right, Mom. She should know how to fight. I mean, little kids I went to school with took karate. We're talking seven and eight, some four-year-old Lizzie knew. Like…she can learn that, right?"_

_Carol met his eyes. "Just a few self defense moves to help her escape people. A knife can come later. Or a spear from Hilltop, to make up for the height difference."_

_He exhaled deeply. He knew Carol was right. He knew it. He felt it. That was why this fight was so bad so quick, because he entirely agreed with her and her way of thinking, but he wanted his daughter to have a normal childhood. No knives, no training, only laughter and playing. He didn't want to think about losing her, even though he knew he could—easily at her age, too. He just wanted more time for her to be a kid. That was all, but that wasn't acceptable in this world. Warriors first, kids second. Fuck, he hated it, but he couldn't fight it. They were both right, and part of him was, too, so he might as well get it over with._

_He puffed out, "Okay, we'll work on it."_

_"So…compromise?" Mika hoped._

_"Compromise." Daryl stroked her hair. "Are you all good now?"_

_"As long as you two don't pretend to compromise for my sake then go back to fighting."_

_"We wouldn't lie about this." Carol wiped tears from her cheek. "You are…our daughter and therefore one of the most important people in our hearts, and we will never lie to you. Okay?"_

_She nodded. "Okay."_

_"Now, get back to bed, please. You have class tomorrow. Get some sleep." Daryl dropped his arm and stood up, helping her to her feet. "I'll come up and check on you in a minute."_

_"Don't fight," Mika warned. "I'll hear it."_

_"No fighting." Carol swore._

_She narrowed her eyes at them then hurried up the stairs to get back into bed, Daryl came off the steps and gathered Carol up in his arms, kissing her and apologizing. She apologized, too, and they would speak to their daughter tomorrow morning about self defense classes with Carol. She was small, but she'd learn how to use that to her advantage. And much, much more, but she wouldn't learn to kill. No, not to kill, only to…defend—for now._

* * *

_Carol and Ezekiel walked the new wall, admiring the designs carved into it for the kids to enjoy, and Carol felt pride at Noah's work. They would be heading home soon, and it would be wonderful to see her family again. She couldn't wait to see baby Josslyn and spend more time with two-year-old Monroe. She was excited to see what had become of her home and her neighborhood._

_"It's saddens me that you're leaving." Ezekiel commented as they strolled, minding the children at play. "You and I seldom spent any time together."_

_"We had picnics with the kids and dinners," Carol replied. "I think we spent a lot of time together. My girl likes your boy after all."_

_He chuckled. "Yes, Henry…and Mika are precious souls. I am glad they have found each other in this sickened world. Perhaps they will be the bridge to cement the futures of our communities."_

_"I thought the treaties did that." Carol squinted over at him. "Did they not?"_

_"Paper and ink don't mean as much as flesh and blood." He inhaled the warm breeze blowing over them, the honeysuckle scent thick in the air, and he smiled. "I fully intend to raise Henry to rule Kingdom long after I am gone, and Mika would make an excellent match for him."_

_"Ahh, so you're a matchmaker now?" He laughed with her, and she tucked hair behind her ear. "What uh, what do you say about me and Daryl? Good match? Excellent match?"_

_"What do you think? You're the one in the relationship."_

_"Ah-ah, I asked first, and I am no judge on relationships. I, in fact, happen to be a terrible judge on relationships. I think Mika and Henry are still just making out instead of sleeping together in that barn loft, so yeah, no."_

_"Henry is a gentleman. He wouldn't woo her in a barn loft."_

_"Ooh, he woos, does he?" Carol snickered. "Such an old word for a young soul."_

_"Trust me, Henry is an old soul, just like his old man."_

_"Well, I hope Henry isn't as keen on avoiding the subject as his old man." She nudged his ribs and stopped walking. "Tell me—based off what you've seen—am I good match for Daryl? I believe that I am, but honestly…there are some tensions between us right now."_

_"Why?"_

_"He thinks you are interested in me still, after all this time, after…speaking on it once at Alexandria." She rolled her eyes. "I…hope they you see us as friends, Ezekiel. Daryl is…the love of my life, and I really need you to see that. There is no better match, only us."_

_He inhaled deeply. "I am well aware of your…match to Daryl, and while I do feel an attraction, I won't act on it. I wouldn't disrespect you or myself in such a way."_

_She smiled at him. "See? I knew you'd be a gentleman about it, just like your son." She continued down the path. "We have dinner plans, so I'll see you then."_

_"Until then."_

* * *

Mika and Henry trudged through the woods, using the moon and their flashlights to guide their way, and they tried to follow the tracks, but Mika was sure she was getting turned around. She marked the trees the way Morgan had showed her, and Henry pointed out the same marks at least twice in a row. She told him to lead then while she collected herself, and Henry told her it was her emotions blocking out her skill.

One sweet girl Mika used to tutor was missing, gone into the dark world of walkers and people. She had no weapons, no training, and she might die out here. They had no idea what type of people they were dealing with, what they were willing to do to a child or even why they wanted a child so young in the first place. It was core-shaking to consider, and he knew Mika could find Daryl. He knew she could, but she needed to calm down.

"Hey, hey, c'mere." Henry caught her hands and pulled her close to himself. "You can do this, just breathe. Daryl taught you everything you know, and you're his daughter. You can do this. Concentrate."

She whined softly once then nodded. "All right."

He kissed her forehead. "Let's bring 'em home."

"Mika?"

She jolted and pulled her gun instantly, though it was foolish, because whoever was calling to her who deserved a gun wouldn't use her name. She lowered it instantly and noticed it was Paul and Aaron. She frowned and stammered, wondering what in hell brought them here.

"Mika." Aaron smiled and embraced her. "Henry, right?"

"Yes, sir." He shook his hand and smiled back at him.

"What's going on?" Jesus had a feeling they hadn't come across a lover's walk in the moonlight. "Is someone missing?"

"Why would you ask that?" Henry set a hand on Mika's waist. "I mean, yes, but how did you know?"

"We were following a woman. She's about Carol's built with long hair and a machete. She… She was lurking outside Hilltop in the treeline." Paul shifted his feet back and forth. "She took off like a shot when we attempted to approach her. We thought she wanted to come in and join our community, but no. No, she was watching us. I don't know for what, but we need to find her."

"Someone took Emily. An eight-year-old from the Kingdom. We were able to find Charli, but she's wounded. I don't know the full extent of her injuries, but we need to find her. And Daryl." Mika added at the end.

"H—how did she take Daryl?" Aaron's brows furrowed at the thought of someone being able to capture Daryl as easily as someone captured a child.

"I don't know, but it's a gut feeling that he is in danger." She explained, "It wasn't spoken, but I feel it."

"Then you're probably right." Paul scanned the area. "Hey, you see that? It looks like a fake trail."

Mika's eyes landed on the patch of leaves and instantly recognized it as a false trail, but there was a point to the left leading away from the trail. It looked like a lead, and she noticed something shiny there among the leaves and the twigs.

"What is that?" Paul followed her as she bent down and picked up a gold bracelet engraved with B and M.

"This was Noah's birthday gift to Beth a year ago." Mika helped Abraham engraved it for him. It originally said E and N, which would have been great for Enid and Carl if they were still together. Anyway, Abe was surprisingly great with adjusting letters and making rings. He had a couple sets of wedding bands aside for Noah and Beth should that day arrive, and there was a set of gold rings that Mika had no idea who they were for, but Abe said someone special. She wondered if he meant him and Sasha, but no question had been popped in the four years of them being together. There was still plenty of time, though.

"Beth is out here, too?" Aaron reeled. "What the hell is going on? We need to find them before the sun comes up. Why don't you two take this trail first? We'll follow a few feet behind, close enough to see your light but far enough that if someone gets the jump on you, we'll be right there to stop them."

She nodded. "All right, but I get Aaron."

"Fine but take care of him." Paul mused to lighten the mood. "Be careful."

"You two, too." Aaron set a hand on Mika's arm to gently guide her down the path and kept his eyes alert.

The darkness didn't move as the group moved forward, the soft snapping of twigs and a tender breeze blew over them as they ventured onward, following the trail laid out before them. They were ready for any attack, for whatever might come their way, and for whomever had taken a father and child.

* * *

Carol stroked her daughter's cheeks as she slept heavily medicated in her arms, and Carol could hear Dana buzzing around behind her, looking over a sample of the herbs used to numb Charlotte's brow before the blade cut in, and Ezekiel continued to read  _Goodnight Moon_  to her so she would have sweet, familiar dreams.

She smiled at him as he read, snuggling her little girl closer as that rich voice read the same lines twice to keep Charlotte's brow from twitching as though she was having a nightmare. Carol thought it was endearing, as though his voice would duke it out with her nightmare and overcome it. She fell just a little bit in love with his father's soul then and felt their friendship strengthen as he stood in place of Daryl, so Charli felt loved all around her. It was pivotal for her to feel love over fear, and it was awesome for Zeke to step up silently in this way for her little girl. She'd have to thank him somehow.

"Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere." He looked over as long lashes fluttered and lowered the book. "Charlotte?"

"Mmm." She moaned softly but didn't rouse, only whined.

"Shh, baby, it's all right." Carol kissed her cheek. "We're here for you. Daddy will be here for you as soon as he gets back. Big sis will be here for you, too. Henry and Noah and Beth. All of them for you."

"Perhaps a less goodbye good is needed." Ezekiel rose from the chair he sat in and selected another book from the shelf, settling on  _The Very Hungry Caterpillar._ If anything would cheer a Dixon up, it was food, and this little girl loved to eat. It was why she had such high energy and was at a good weight and height for her age. "All right, little princess, let's see here. Ahem. In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf. One Sunday morning, the warm sun came up and—pop—out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry caterpillar…."

Carol laughed softly at the animation he was putting into his voice, and she knew Charli had to hear it in her dreams, had to see such a little creature feasting to its stomach's delight and growing in size at the consumed yummies. She wished Charli wasn't drugged and could wake to tell them the full extend of her wounds and of what happened. It weighted down on Carol's heart and burned in her soul.

"On Wednesday he ate through three plumbs, but he was still hungry. On Thursday, he ate through four strawberries, but he was still hungry. On Friday, he ate through five oranges, but he was still hungry."

If the monster that wanted young girls was still out there, still lurking in the woods, she was going to find them. They were going to regret taking Charlotte and Emily out of the safety of the Kingdom and into the dangers of the woods. They were going to rue the day the laid eyes on Emily and took her from her mother's sight.

She knew firsthand how much pain and suffering Nadine was going through. She knew how difficult it would be in the coming days should they not find her tonight, should this bastard get away with her, and she knew how no answer, even the real answer, would be good enough. Would feel real enough, and it would destroy a piece of Nadia forever. There would be no reclaiming that small yet massive piece that would leave a crater inside of her for the rest of her days, nor would she be able to return to who she was before her daughter was taken from the very home she had helped built for her.

That would be the most challenging part—raising her children in a home where one child had already been lost. It would feel like a pointless endeavor. If one child could be stolen in the middle of the day with eyes all around, who or what could prevent it from happening another time. There would be no consoling her constant fear and worry. There would be no state of calm or peace or relaxation ever again.

"…one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake and one slice of watermelon. That night he had a stomachache!" Ezekiel enthused. "The very hungry caterpillar then ate through one green leaf. He started to feel better. Now, the caterpillar was no longer small. He was a big, fat caterpillar.

"He built a small house, called a cocoon around himself. He stayed inside for more than two weeks. The he nibbled a small hole in the cocoon, pushed his way out and—a very beautiful butterfly!" He gasped to make the point, and Carol smirked at him, rolling her eyes, though there was a darkness there. He didn't like it, but he didn't comment. Her past was her own, and he would allow her to work through it alone.

"Mmm….."

"Charli?" Carol didn't hush her this time. "Baby?"

Her eyes slowly opened, pupils widening to shrink at the light, and she moaned sleepily, rolling over towards her mom and burying her face into her stomach. "Mmm." She realized then she couldn't feel her mom with her head and frowned, pulling back and trying to touch her brow but Carol wouldn't let her make the contact.

"Hey, hey, easy. You were hurt in the woods. We had to medicate you. It should be numb for a little while longer then we'll have to get Dr. Dana." Carol smiled lovingly down at her daughter and readied her heart for the questioning. "Baby, what happened? Can you remember anything? Anything at all?"

"The yellow-toothed lady." She pulled her face from the back of her memory. She was thin in the face with bright green eyes and matted dreads, very dirty in appearance and smell. She was smaller than Mommy, in both height and weight, and she was like a spider with her movements. She was someone Charli never wanted to see again. "She's a bad person. I don't want to see her again."

"You won't." Carol tucked hair behind her ear and asked, "Do you know what she wanted? Or what happened to Emily?"

"We were playing," Charli answered, recalling the events of the morning. "With Leo and Dylan and everybody, but Emily was too fast. She ran off to the line of the woods, where Daddy told me not to go, and I tried to tell her. I swear I did."

"You're not in trouble, baby. You're not, I promise."

She moistened her lips. "When I got closer, I saw she wasn't alone."

"The yellow-toothed lady was there?"

"No. Ila was there."

Carol blinked. "I—Ila?"

She nodded. "She's super sad, Mommy. She just wanted someone to play with her little girl, but I didn't want to go with her."

"But Emily did?" Zeke pierced the conversation, and Charli nodded. "She wanted to play with Ila's daughter?"

"Yeah, 'cause she's friendliest in class. She has to be playful and stuff, so she went with Ila, even though I told her not to." She blinked a few times and looked up at her mom. "She isn't coming back, is she?"

"Daddy and a few others are out there looking for her right now." She couldn't lie or promise they would find something, because it was a lie. She had gone through this once more, and there was nothing good there. People offered hope and affection, but it did nothing against the agony of knowing the world the child or person was lost in. Lost meant dead nine times out of ten, and Carol didn't like the odds.

She heaved a sigh. "That's an easy answer."

She meant something greater than that sentence, and she was right, and Carol frowned. She couldn't lie to protect her little one, not in this world. "It is an easy answer. I'm sorry. You're too smart for that."

"I don't want to be smart, Mommy. I just want Emily to come home." She wrapped an arm around her mom's waist and closed her eyes. "I don't think Ila will let her go. And I know the yellow-toothed lady will come back for me. She said so...said I was theirs."

"She won't get you. I swear." Carol held her daughter closer, stroking the back of her hair. "You are mine. Not hers. All right? Mine."

She whimpered. "She marked me, Mommy, and it hurt so bad." She shook as she spoke, remembering the feeling of something warm on her brow and the look in the woman's eyes. She couldn't stand it. She didn't want to see it anymore. She wanted it to go away. "Mommy, please, make it go away."

"What?" Carol's voice was low and desperate as her daughter wailed. "What, baby, what?"

"Please, Mommy, make it stop!"


	22. Return to Zero

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Daryl began to rouse at the feel of something nudging his thigh over and over, his eyes parted to browns and greens blurring together on the forest floor, his head hanging. He could smell a campfire burning, and there was a familiar cry in the air. He tried to clear his vision as he lifted his head, and as his eyes locked in on Beth, he came roaring to and tried to charge only to smack back against the tree.

"Ah, he wakes."

He was chained against a tree, and he spotted Shiva changed and bound across from him, out cold but breathing. He was grateful for that, but his focus was on Beth. She had been striped down to black underwear and was being held by her hair close to the fire and a hot poker. She was wriggling and struggling against the grip of the person who held her, but he was stronger. He was stronger and knew how to hold a young woman to keep her from escaping.

"Easy, daughter, easy." The man commanded of Beth. "We don't want to hurt you."

"Then let me go, and I won't kill you." Beth bared her teeth and hissed at him, her hands bound behind her.

"You carry life. You shouldn't be so foul." He accepted the poker and held it just above Beth's toned belly, lowering it to her knees then lifting it back to her stomach. "Mmm."

"You must be joking." This came from a woman who walked out of the woods with a child at her hip. The woman had her back to Daryl, but he could tell she wasn't a lackey. She stood tall and defiant, long dark hairs braided down her spine with bits of flowers and wooden carved flowers sticking out of it. She wore cheaply made clothing and looked fresh out of a shower. She was almost beautiful from behind. Beauty of snake, he'd add.

"She's fertile." He lowered the poker and jammed it into the soil. "She's had a child."

"She's blonde," the woman hissed.  _"Blonde."_

"The boy isn't."

"He… He's black." She was speaking through clenched teeth as she held the child closer to her. "Do you forget what our goal is? What we look for? What they need?"

He lowered his eyes and dropped Beth. "I…overreached. I'm sorry."

"You will be." She lifted the child up and handed her over to Erron, cracking open a vial to pour something down her throat she immediately swallowed. "Shh, my sweet." She stroked her hair and kissed her temple, minding the blood from the crown carved into her brow. "Shh."

Beth blew leaves out of her mouth and sat up, looking at the woman who had mentioned her man, seeing she was older. Probably in her late forties with light eyes and ashen skin. She was almost beautiful, but there was a long scar marring her cheek, and she looked more like a witch with it.

"Let her go and the man. We don't need them." She ran her eyes over the cat and smiled. "Lovely beast as she is, we have no means to keep her. Turn her lose. We leave now."

"The artist is done?" Erron inquired.

She nodded. "The mimic, too. No one should know we were here. The child is but a child. She won't recall clearly due to the drugs."

"Charlotte?" Beth spoke up now. "What did you do to her?"

The woman's cold eyes turned to the speaking bitch. "You are of no importance to me. Quiet, or lose your tongue."

"Did you hurt her?" Beth demanded. "She's only six, please. Please, leave her be. Leave them both be—"

The woman yanked the poker from the ground and slammed it against the side of Beth's head, a rush of blood escaped from the wound as Beth tipped over, fading out from the force of the blow. The woman shook her head and lifted the bloody poker. "Why do the pretty ones try for more than they deserve?"

"Don't you fucking touch her again!" Daryl howled, struggling against the chains. "Or my kid!"

The woman turned around and hurled the poker at him, he ducked, and it stuck into the tree. Her eyes narrowed, and she smiled at him. "The father of the chosen is a dodger. How wonderful."

He seethed. "You want to make this a fair fight?!"

"Fair is the daughter you created," she replied. "Fair is the child I will have for my own when she is old enough. Fair is what is ours. What is hers."

"What does that mean?" he demanded. "Have her? Over my dead body."

"I'll happily fill that order for you." She approached him and lifted her foot to his chest to shove him back, and with surprising strength, she managed to restrain him against the tree. "You are but a worthless, rusted cog. You offer nothing to no one, and the world will continue to spin longer after you are gone.

"But you have created a thing of gentle beauty, a fair thing of which I am to have and to hold and to cherish for as long as she is ours." She leaned towards him and searched his eyes. "Know that I am always with her and she will always be with me. Thank you for her, Daryl."

"She isn't yours. She is mine," he spat at her. "Mine!"

"Ooh, poor boy, you'll understand in time." She kicked him back and stepped away. "Take the child to the forward camp. I'll take care of this mess."

"Emily!" Daryl shouted to try and rouse her. "Emily, wake up! Em!"

"Ila," Erron warned at the twitch in her brow. "We don't. It spoils."

She inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly. "It spoils."

"Emily!"

"Daryl!"

The air instantly grew tense at the sound of a new voice, Erron darted into the darkness with the child in his arms, the artist and the mimic were waiting on horses for them, and they escaped into the night without Ila. The soft sounds of their horses were not heard by the blessed, though some were attracted to the light of the fire, low as it was.

Back at the camp Ila pulled two guns from behind her back and pointed them at the man and the woman who were remaining as the shouters approached. She drew back but knew they had seen her. She had seen them, too, and knew this hunt was hardly over. She smiled at the thought of a chase and wondered if there was anything to be found in it.

Aaron and Mika entered the clearing and saw Daryl and Beth, Mika instantly moved for Daryl, but Aaron saw the guns and grabbed her arms. He held her against him and tried to move carefully to be standing in front of her, but one gun move to point at them. He swallowed with Mika half covered by his body and hoped Jesus and Henry were taking positions in the woods to aid them.

"Please, don't," Mika pleaded. "Not—not them, please, please."

"Please is an empty word, child. You ought to know that by now." Ila looked her over thoroughly. "You could have been chosen were it not for the flaxen. Shame, really, to be ordinary."

Aaron frowned and pushed Mika the rest of the way behind him. "Just—just let them go. We won't shoot if you won't."

"I know of your lover," the woman spoke loudly into the night, "the long-haired one who remains at the Hilltop and in these woods does he lurk."

Aaron gulped. "Don't shoot is all I'm asking. We can work this out."

"Don't follow and I won't shoot."

"We won't," Mika assured her. "I swear. We just want them. We just want them."

"Honesty. How beautiful. Such a shame for those locks." She lowered her guns and stepped back. "Tell the mother we will meet again. Tell the mother…I look forward to it." With that, she slipped into the darkness and vanished.

"Beth." Aaron ran over to her and rolled her onto her back, removing her bindings carefully and accessing the wound as he unbuttoned his shirt to cover her. She likely suffered a concussion from the blow and would have a wicked headache. They would have to get her examined quickly, disinfected even sooner to avoid infection, and clothed to avoid the nip of the cool spring air. "Hey, you with me?"

Her eyes opened, one at a time and never at the same time and fluttered shut. Her lips parted in a murmur, but it was incoherent, and she gripped his arm tightly.

"Hey, stay with me, Beth. Stay with me." He patted her cheek roughly to rouse her and keep her focused on the waking world. "Hey, hey."

Jesus and Henry came out from the treeline and helped Mika undo the chains on Daryl, Paul ensured he was all right before going over to check on Shiva. Mika and Henry helped Daryl to his feet, he immediately asked after Beth, and Aaron told him she needed a doctor as soon as possible.

"She's alive, but downed." Paul attempted to remove her bindings, but they were locked, not zip-tied to hell like Daryl's. "Anybody know how to pick a lock?"

"Yeah." Daryl grasped Mika's knife from her felt and went over to unlocked the great cat. "Aaron, get Beth back to the Kingdom. Henry, Mika, you two go with him."

"No way." Mika argued. "I'm staying. We have to find Emily."

He exhaled and closed his eyes before snapping the lock undone and facing his daughter. "They took her. We ain't gonna get her back."

A beat.

"Tonight, you mean," Henry added after a pregnant pause.

"No, not just tonight, son." Daryl rose and handed Mika her knife back. "Paul and I will go after them, follow them into the morning, and we'll try and rescue Emily from these bastards. You four get home and take Shiva with you."

"But how?" Henry pointed to the unconscious mass. "She's out cold."

"You know her best. Give her whatever she needs to wake." Daryl paused and met his daughter's eyes, searching long and hard and almost crying in the relief he found there, "She's at home then?"

"With Dr. Dana." She nodded.

"Good. Good. Now take Beth there and wait for me." He gasped the back of her head and kissed her forehead. "Get home safe."

"You, too."

They parted ways, Daryl accepted the walkie from Jesus as he did his own personal check of Beth before planting on one Aaron, telling him to get home safe and disappearing after Daryl. Mika removed her jacket to cloth Beth even further since her clothes were just gone, and Henry poked and prodded and pestered the great cat into waking. It was going to be a long trip home and a long search.

* * *

Jesus walked beside Daryl, both following the trail left for them by the newest enemies of their communities', and he decided to break the ice. It wasn't like it was a subject they could avoid as they once more went after a lost child.

"You don't believe we can recover her, do you?"

"No." Daryl didn't bother lying. "They're too good at this. I already know that. That woman…had an escape route already planned for her and her people."

"I concur." He didn't want to the first to admit it. He'd do everything in his power to try and bring the girl home alive and healthy, but clearly they had an upper hand. They had a plan. They were observant. They knew who they were coming up against, and they weren't going to let them simply follow them out of the Kingdom's land and into theirs. No, they had come and gone like ghosts in the night, and they were chasing after their shadows. It wasn't going to lead anywhere productive, he feared.

The pair searched for tracks and trails, finding the path Ila had taken, but it quickly ran into a false trail. Daryl could tell walkers were involved by the stumbled footsteps, and he wondered why she had walkers with her at all. It wasn't like Michonne, or she would have had them at the camp. She just casually kept walkers around for the hell of it. It wouldn't surprise him. She was a few fries short of a happy meal, to be honest.

White and pink began to stretch across the morning sky, the sun shyly peeking out from the edge of the earth, and Daryl scouted a way back home after getting turned around for the first time in his entire adult life. He had nothing to track. He had nothing to go on. There were signs of horses, but after a mile or two of going with those tracks, they came up to the same clearing. It's likely they had preset tracks before they kidnappings, and that meant there were likely several false trails for them to get caught up on.

And honestly Daryl was exhausted. He had no fumes left to burn through. His bones were fatigued, his spirit breaking more and more at the knocked out little girl in that bitch's arms, and he was ready to go home to see his little girl. To deal with this threat, but he couldn't simply turn and leave because he didn't feel well. He had to bring Emily home to her mother. He had to do something, find something. He couldn't look at his little girl and tell her he found nothing on her best friend.

Yet finding people wasn't his strong suit. He had found nothing beyond a doll for Sophia. He found nothing on Beth. He found nothing but dead space regarding both girls. There was nothing here, either, and it broke his heart to come up empty for a third time. He couldn't stomach having to face Nadine and shatter the last bit of her hope. He couldn't be responsible for that. He couldn't. He had to find something. He had to find Emily.

"Daryl." Jesus called out to him as the afternoon sun beat down on them, stopping his movements as they were nearing an unknown area. "Daryl."

"What?" He spun around to face the man. "What?"

"We have to go back. It's late afternoon, and we have nothing. We're both drained. We aren't any good like this." He gestured to himself with his hands and exhaled. "Your daughter needs to see you. I need to check on Aaron, and we need to alert the communities about this threat. Maggie needs to know. My people need to know. As well as the Kingdom's people. We have to act now to prevent this from happening again on a greater scale."

"Greater scale? Do you really think kids will just follow some long-haired freak?"

"Emily did. Clearly there is something charming about them. They lured two trained children out of the field and its fence. One of which they released and let be, but the other? They managed to get to her, Daryl, and I don't know the whole story, but I don't want to find out. We need to speak to your daughter, learn what happened, and we need to move now."

He heaved a sigh. "We were never gonna find her," he questioned, "were we?"

"We lost her the second she climbed over the fence," he finalized.

Daryl's eyes screwed shut and a muscle in his jaw jumped over and over as his teeth pressed together enough to ache. "Fuck."

"I agree with you, but we have to think of the children unharmed. Of Judith, of RJ, of Monroe, of my own…" He trailed off. "Of Gracie. We have to consider them."

He nodded. "I hate this."

"You'll hate it even more if it's twenty children over one."

"The needs of the many," he grumbled. "But you're right. We have to protect the many."

"They are our future." Which made the entire situation that much worse. They were stealing children, stealing love in human form, stealing chances and choices and reasons for living. They were taking and taking with nothing gained Jesus could see but everything lost. This was going to be a difficult coming months, but the battle had just began. It was a new war. A war on the children, and they had to win, regardless of numbers or strength. They had to win. Or they would lose their entire world and its future.

* * *

Ezekiel tossed a blanket over Carol and Charlotte as they dreamed of softer things on the gurney, seeing the mark on Charli's brow had reduced in its swelling, and Carol was breathing easy—no nightmares. He was relieved and set a hand on her hip before moving to leave the room when the door burst open.

Aaron carried in a barely dressed Beth Greene. "Where's Dana?"

"I'm here." She came out of her office and saw the barely conscious young woman in his arms, seeing the blood on her brow and seeing an odd shape for the wound. "What the hell did this?"

"A fireplace poker." Aaron set her down on the couch beside them. "Hey, Beth, come on. Eyes open."

"Noah…."

"Yes, that's right. Good girl. Think of Noah. Mika's gonna bring him in." He stepped back to let the Doc take a look, and he saw Carol and Charlotte passed out on the gurney. "How is she?"

"In a lot of pain without meds," Ezekiel replied, "but she'll be fine. She's going to need a lot of support in the coming weeks."

"And she'll have it." Aaron smiled softly at the sight of the child. "What a brave little solider we got."

"Indeed."

Dana was scared to ask if Beth had been sexually assaulted due to her lack of clothing, and no one would really answer but Beth herself. She was finally able to rest her eyes without worry, and Dana asked them to turn away to see if there was any blood or semen on Beth's inner thighs, but there wasn't even a bruise. It might have been that they needed her clothing. Or wanted Beth to feel exposed and vulnerable. It really depended on what they wanted from her, and Dana couldn't say, but Beth was not raped from the best that she could tell. She would have to speak to Beth directly when she woke, but that wasn't going to be a long while. She needed rest after what she had been through.

"All right, boys," Dana remarked, "why don't you go check on Monroe for Beth? And see if Daryl is coming back in? Give them a full report of what's going on and make sure the baby's eaten."

"I'll check on Monroe in just a moment." Aaron set a hand on Zeke's shoulder. "You good to check on Daryl?"

"Of course." He nodded and headed upstairs to get the walkie.

* * *

It wasn't long before Noah came running into the clinic, finding his girlfriend lying on a couch, wrapped up in a blanket, and Carol and Charli were sleeping on the only gurney. He removed his boots and walked over to Beth, pulling the blanket back and frowning at the sight of her wearing a man's shirt and shorts that didn't belong to her.

"You're here." Her eyes opened and a smile painted over her lips. "I knew you would come."

"I do live here." He carefully maneuvered himself onto the cushions beside her. "What happened to you? Where are your clothes?"

She clenched her jaw and curled up against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his chest. "It was those people—the ones who took Emily, who hurt Charlotte."

"They… they hurt you, too? Or just…?"

"They took my clothes, my shoes, and they tried to… to mark me for something, but I don't know what for. Some woman came and told me I wasn't the right type, that our daughter wasn't the right type, and she knocked me out with a fireplace poker." She exhaled shakily. "I thought…he was going to rape me when he started taking off my clothes, because his eyes were so empty. It was like looking into a river…when it is completely…unnaturally still."

"I would have killed him."

"I would have done it myself, because there was no way I was going to be put into that situation again. I am not something for men to use like that, and I would have fought back…with my legs, my teeth—anything." She closed her eyes. "My body is my own, and I wouldn't have let him do…anything to it."

"I know. You have a strong kick, too."

"Just like our daughter," Beth reminded him, bringing up her pregnancy when Monroe could kick and would kick for hours when Noah wasn't around. It got to the point of having to record his voice and play it back for her to settle. Because when the kicking didn't work, she would hook her little toes on Beth's ribs, and it was like punishment for her daddy not being around. Beth's ass spent so much time in a seat traveling to and fro that she nearly considered just staying in the Kingdom, but she wanted to be near her big sister, so that wasn't an option.

"Maybe my son won't be so cruel."

"Sure, keep dreamin'." She lifted her head from his shoulder and grinned at him. "We Greenes are all the same deep down, and you're practically a weak gene compared to ours."

"Oh, me? I'm a whole weak gene?"

She giggled. "Shut up and kiss me already."

"No, I am offended." He was laughing and couldn't pass it off. "What the hell, Beth? I am not a weak gene. My son's gonna prove it."

"I had a very rough night, and you won't kiss me? I'll make sure my belly makes this kid look just like me. I will pray every single night that my baby will look like my daddy."

"An old man with one leg?"

"Asshole!" She punched his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around her, and she rolled her eyes against his shoulder. She paused for a moment then looked up at him with big eyes. "Marry me."

"What was that? I think my weak genes failed me again." He turned onto his side and faced her, and he searched her big blue eyes before realizing she been serious in asking him to marry her. "Wait, Beth, for real?"

"Of course for real, dummy," she whispered. "I love you. We have Monroe. We have this baby on the way. I want to be with you in all ways in this life. And my daddy would not approve of me havin' two babies out of marriage. His ghost is probably tryin' kick my ass."

He laughed and marveled at her. "I… I don't even know…."

"Just know what you want. Do you want me for the rest of our lives? Could you want anybody else? Because there's nobody else that I want to live with or have babies with or be with." Blue searched onyx in the dim light, love was all that could be seen there—unconditional love. Once-in-a-lifetime love. Perhaps even soul mate love. All of it wrapped up in one blanket, cut into halves, she hoped. God did she hope.

"Beth, it's…hilarious right now. This situation?" He couldn't stop his laughter, and Beth began to feel worry settle into her stomach.

"Why are you laughin'?" Her voice was whisper of words, a hushed creak slipping through a cracked door. "Stop it, Noah."

"It's just that if you hadn't asked…." He shifted and rose off the couch, his back to Beth, and she sat up, frowning deeply and trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Noah…?" She tilted her head to the side as he snickered and turned back around.

"It's just…if you hadn't asked, I was just about to." He dropped down beside the couch, holding up a handmade engagement ring. It wasn't made with a diamond or even made out of gold. It was an old nut of some type that Abraham had fitted a small artificially made rose quartz into. It was his project with Abe, who was becoming a fine jewelry craftsman. "I knew I wanted to marry you when you were pregnant with Monroe, and now with our second on the way, I don't want to wait any longer."

"Oh, my God." She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Will you marry me, Beth Greene?"

"Duh!" She laughed this time, silver tears shimmering in blue orbs, and she accepted his kisses.

"That's romantic." Carol had begun to rouse at the sound of their not so hushed voices and rolled over when they were in the thick of it to observe. "Good job, Noah."

He blushed and hid his face in his fiancé's neck, and Beth giggled. She accepted the ring he bestowed upon her, and she rushed over to show Carol. She gushed about her plans for the ceremony and how she couldn't believe this day had actually come. She was spewing light and laughter, every gorgeous tooth in her gorgeous smile showing.

"Hey, you're Irish, right?" Carol shifted on the bed, looking back to ensure her daughter still slept, and Beth nodded. "I know some Celtic vows. I… I used to plan my wedding when I was younger, and I know these vows would be perfect for you two. I think I can recall them."

"Wow, that would be amazing. I love him so much. I don't think I could put it into words." Beth hugged her. "Thank you, Carol."

"It's no trouble."

They needed to celebrate the good news right now. Such a darkness was settling over them, and it was only a matter of time before another branch snapped.

* * *

Meanwhile Aaron headed out to check on Monroe, finding her with the other kids and assuring the Shelia he was the one meant to pick her up. He took her back to Daryl and Carol's place, warming up some food for her and helping her work the spoon. He loved this stage. It was so sweet. He knew he was lucky to have his daughter, and he knew this world was lucky to have her in it. He would ensure she survived and learned how to take care of others as best he could. He wouldn't lose her. Or Paul.

It was a complicated relationship. It happened a year after he'd lost Eric, and it was an accident to get involved. They had a few drinks and were watching over Grace as she slept, and somehow Paul's tongue ended up down his throat. It was a mess of a make out, but that was all it was in front of poor sleeping Grace. He felt like a teenage fool for the first week after that, but they worked it out. They'd been going strong ever since.

The only issue they now face was if Paul was coming to move to Alexandria or if Aaron would have to relocate, which was more challenging than Paul moving, because of Grace and her school and her face. It was an argument the couple had had many times in many situations, and it went nowhere.

Paul loved him deeply, and they were a good match, but he had to be there for Hilltop as long as they didn't have a leader. Aaron had suggested running an election to see who might win, but Paul didn't see anyone who would want the position, putting him an awkward position himself as he didn't want the job either. He had to stand in for his people nevertheless, and he did a fine good job, but it was time to choose now. It'd been three years. There had to be a line. There just had to be.

Monroe began to fuss and call for her parents, Aaron knew there was nothing he could do to sooth her physically, so he found a favorite movie of Charli's and let it play. The bright colors and animation did their job and stole her attention, the tears drying up as she giggled and clapped and asked for more. He was grateful kids could be distracted so easily and sat down beside her to watch the show, crossing his legs and making a seat for her there. He laced his fingers over her torso and kept her balanced as she expressed joy at watching the little characters.

That lasted about ten minutes before Aaron passed out, hands still holding her, and time zoomed by as Monroe began to drift off herself from the exciting day. They were both slumped against their props—the couch and Aaron's chest—mouths slightly open as light snoring or breathes escaped, and that was how Paul found them. He chuckled and wished he'd had a camera.

He knelt down and lightly shook Aaron's shoulder, causing him to jolt, and he greeted him with a light kiss and collected Monroe from him. "Hey."

"Hi." He rubbed the corner of his eye and smiled. "You're back."

"I'm back." He sat down beside him and kissed the top of Monroe's head as she woke. "I…have some bad news."

"You didn't find Emily." His heart sank as the truth of that sentence settled in. "Nothing?"

"Nothing." He met his eyes. "We looked, but this group is methodical. They're trained and seemingly deft on this matter. They had us outplayed all the way back at the Kingdom."

"Christ." He tensed up. "Grace. We have to get back. If they're hunting kids, we gotta get back."

"They have a type of child they wanted. Dark hair, light eyes. Kids like Charli and Emily. Not our Grace, not our girl Monroe here." He pushed curls back from her face and smiled at her. "Not you, sweet pea."

"Mommy," she replied. "Where my mommy?"

"She is on her way over with your Daddy, and with Carol and Daryl and Charlotte." He had walked Daryl to the clinic before he came over. Noah was curled up on the couch, asleep with Beth, and Carol was waking up with Charlotte. Daryl needed rest before he did anything, so they would definitely be on their way home.

She nodded and pouted her lips.

Aaron slid to the side. "I think we have a situation on our hands."

"What do you me—Oh, God." He almost jerked Monroe up and off him, but it would cause the nice steamer she dropped to probably land on him, though it was oozing a bit already. "Jesus."

Aaron chuckled and tried not to, but he couldn't help it. At least he wasn't the only one who had an explosive diaper moment with a young one. "I'll get a towel."

His noses scrunched up at the smell of the poop she'd kindly dropped while on his lap, and his eyes burned. "What do they feed this child?"

"Well, I may have given her some of Carol's homemade baby food, which leads her to have the runs, but she was hungry. I had no choice. I thought it'd be just me and her." He grabbed a towel from the hall closet and brought it over to him as he lifted the two-year-old onto the towel, wrapping the leaking cloth diaper and supporting her. "Sorry."

"Yeah, me too." He looked over his jeans before sighing deeply and undoing his belt and holster. "This is why I don't like to hold her. She always spews from one end or another."

"She has a sensitive stomach, Paul. Ease up." He filled the sink with warm water and look for the soap Carol made especially for Monroe as a gift. He would explain the situation later, but for now, he had to get her out of this diaper.

"Daryl better have pants that fit me is all I'm sayin'." He shimmed out of his pants, minding the poop so it didn't land on the floor, and he tossed them into the washer, now in boxers and a t-shirt. "Of all ways I saw those pants coming off—that wasn't one of them."

"You'll survive."

"How is she?" He leaned against the counter to see the baby girl soaking in warm, sudsy water, big light eyes shining, and she reached for anything to hold as a toy, so he offered up his hand. She found the ring Aaron had made for him and tried to steal it. "Hey, don't."

"No." Her brows furrowed as she pouted. "Mine."

"Uhh, no, I'm pretty sure it's mine, Monroe."

She glared at him. "Mine."

"Wow, so possessive." He pulled his hand away, and she began to throw a tantrum. "Oh, shit, sorry."

"Easy, Monroe, it's all right." Aaron set a hand on the top of her head and met her eyes. "You know you weren't right there, but it's okay. We'll get you something." He cut a look to Jesus, who scanned the room and found a stuffed bear on the floor that could survive a bath.

"Here." He scooped it up, and the front door opened as Beth and Noah entered with the Dixons right behind them. "Hey, guys."

"Hey." Beth's eyes instantly zeroed in on her daughter in the sink with a hand on her head. "What's going on with my daughter?"

"Explosive diaper."

"Oh, not again." She frowned and jogged over to the sink. "Hey, sweetie."

"Mommy!" She stood up and held her arms up.

"Oh, oh, not yet. You need cleaned off." She smiled a thanks at Aaron and took over. "Your tummy's upset?"

She nodded.

"Daddy and I are here. We'll take care of it."

Aaron let Beth and Noah take over on the baby girl situation, Jesus had no shame in his lack of pants and explained he was the unlucky victim of this diaper assault, and Carol went upstairs to get him some pants while Mika helped Daryl over to the couch. He collapsed onto it, Charlotte in his lap, and they both curled up there, and Mika tossed a blanket down on them.

"Sleep well." She waved to everyone in the room before heading to her bedroom to crash herself. She mostly wanted to cry about Emily in peace without someone trying to console her. She wanted to feel it and let it go. She had to. Or it would fester and infect and kill a part of her forever.

"Hey, kiddo, wait." Aaron caught her arm and pulled her into her a hug, she was surprised and couldn't help but begin to whimper at the warmth he offered. "Shh, shhh."

Beth lowered her eyes at the sound of Mika's tears, and Noah wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder to shower support. She finished bathing her daughter and dried her off before turning into his arms and shedding her own tears over Emily. She knew she should take it easy with the head injury, but she couldn't stop her heart from breaking at the loss of such a sweet child. After becoming a mother and being such an empath, she felt it tenfold like a shot to the heart.

It would be a long while before this wound healed. Losing a child, no matter what the circumstances were, was the most agonizing loss in the entire world. It was a piece of both parents, a piece of the future and the past, and it—they were meant to survive. To see this world break through this disaster age and return to what the world should be. A safe haven, a place of equality and of learning and moving forward together towards a shining better world, but a piece of that had been destroyed. Forever lost to the darkness of what the world was now, and it would stain them all. God be with her, whatever her fate was now.

Upstairs Carol stood in front of the window overlooking the woods and set her resolve to find this person. For Charlotte, for Emily, for all the others who had come before. They would know justice.


	23. Bringing It All In

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Maggie and Paul and Ezekiel had been going back and forth for hours, trying to deal with the news of this new threat who was targeting children. They had been going back and forth about spending parties out into the woods to look for hours now while Jesus wanted to set up training classes for the children and extra patrols per town to keep an eye out for them as they wanted Charlotte still. Ezekiel wanted them to follow the horse trails they had found last night, but Maggie was sure they were false and would lead them into either a trap or a dead end.

It had been a week since the loss and memorial of Emily. A hush had spread over the Kingdom as children were no longer allowed to play in the corn field or near the fences. Shiva was no longer allowed outside without supervision as well. To tame the great cat, they had to have powerful drugs on their side, and that was a danger to everyone. They improved their armor and added more patrols in the towers. It was going to be a long night for the Kingdom, and they weren't through the woods just yet.

"We don't have leader to really give a say on that," Paul reminded Maggie. "I can't stand here and pretend to be that leader. I don't have any power behind the word."

"Well, you're the only advocate we got for the Hilltop, so you'll have to stand there and act lie you have that power until someone else is elected." Maggie wasn't going to take this lying down. She wanted to be proactive, because her son fit the bill of the child wanted type. He had dark hair and lighter brown eyes, and honestly there could be a whole different profile for boys, but she didn't want to chance it. She wanted them found and killed, or at least contained. This couldn't be allowed to continue, not here, not in Hilltop and not at the Kingdom. "We can't afford to let this continue."

"I understand, but…the people of Hilltop shouldn't be forced to follow after my instruction when have no authority. I don't feel comfortable speaking for them."

"Then find me someone who is." Maggie slammed a hand down on the table. "Your daughter is just in as much risk as my son and my daughter, and I won't stand by and let this happen. You have one week to bring me someone who wants to speak for the whole of Hilltop. In that while, I'll personally oversee a search of the Alexandrian territory. We have to keep Charlotte safe."

Ezekiel nodded. "I'll send a small group of men to come and aid you. We've combed through our territory with a fine-toothed comb, and we've turned out only details we've already had. I want our children to feel safe, so you'll have these men to aid you."

"Thank you. I'll await news from Hilltop once you've elected a leader." Maggie turned to Paul. "Is there even anyone in mind who is qualified to lead your people?"

"I'll find out."

Enid, who had been sitting in on the meeting, spoke up, and she suggested something a tad bit…spontaneous. "I could do it."

They all turned to the young woman in bemusement, watching her as she rose from off the couch, setting her notepad down and joining them like an adult instead of eavesdropping like a child.

"Do what, sweetie?" Maggie inquired, though had an inkling to what she meant.

"I could attempt to become the leader of Hilltop." She had spent time there over the last few years with Maggie and Joss. They had gone to help with the new crops and oversee the treaties new rules on trade just last year for five months. Glenn and Hersh had to stay in Alexandria to keep the peace, and the walkie talkies really came through for them.

Ezekiel laughed heartfully, and Maggie sent him a glare, though it was a misunderstanding. He was proud of the idea. He loved the idea. He loved that a child born in both worlds, developed in both worlds, would want to see the future of his thrive. He knew Enid could do it. He knew she would thrive just as well as the entirety of Hilltop. "Yes, that would be…truly amazing, my lady."

She smiled. "I know how leadership works. I've studied under Maggie. I've listened and watched in meetings. I know the treaties. I know both people, both people know me, and it's not as though I am just a child. I am twenty years old. I can do this."

"You can," Paul nodded, "but Hilltop is strictly older people. They may not see you as anything but a child."

"Then I'll show them otherwise. Let me try." Enid was sure she could win over the people of Hilltop. She had once before when she was one of them, surely this wouldn't be much of a change. Well, she knew that was a lie. It was a huge change. She wouldn't be simply one of them; she would be ruling over them, being an advocate for the people and for their welfare. It would be a challenge, but she did so love them. The people and a good challenge.

* * *

"We'll hold an election," Paul said to Enid as she packed a temporary bag, fingering one of her stuffed animals. "Let the people decide who they want to lead."

"We'll give speeches and try and prove who is better suited to rule?" Enid was only slightly musing, knowing people had to be won over if there was to be an election. People wanted Paul to be their leader. Paul just didn't want that. He didn't mind lending a hand, but he didn't want to the responsibility of having an entire people looking to only him. Enid knew that weight well from helping Maggie, and the pressure of it didn't scare her. She wanted to help. She wanted to lead. Perhaps she was shaped to lead, after all that had happened to her, after all the leaders who had molded her. Maybe this was why she survived.

"How can you prove to the people that you're adult…if you still keep toys?" Paul held up the beaten up hippo. "I know you are mature for your age, but this? We can't have a leader who sleep with toys, Enid."

She chuckled and accepted the toy. "It's Hersh's toy."

He frowned. "Why is it in here?"

"We like to cuddle." She touched its chewed on fur from his baby days and smiled even more. "Mags and Glenn are too busy with baby Joss, so Hersh and I cuddle sometimes when he has bad dreams."

"Oh. Uh, sorry, I didn't mean—"

"I know." She lifted her chin. "The people will know who wants to lead them, and I will be honest. There's nothing hidden or worth hiding."

"Good, because I know you can do this. You…follow after Maggie in more ways than one, and I know you can do this."

"She can." Carl stood in the doorway, having heard the news from the grape vine, and he smiled at her. "We can."

"We?" Enid and Carl hadn't been a "we" in years, so what the hell was he talking about? "This is a me job, Carl."

"We have the same platform, and…I could use some time out of Alexandria. Tensions are high, and I need a new focus. I can help you with this election, and I can help find the fuck that could be hunting my little sister next week."

"Carl, I appreciate the support, but this is something I have to do on my own. It's nothing I need help with, and besides you can benefit Judith more if you stay here." She stuffed another blouse into the suitcase and slammed it shut. "I don't need an understudy."

"I'm positive that isn't the right word here, and I'm not. I want to help. I need to help. The sooner we get the Hilltop on board, the sooner we can start hunting these bastards down in full force." Carl stepped closer to her. "We've always been a force together, Enid. You know this, so let help you be the best you and show the Hilltop that you? Please. We have to be unified, or we are nothing. They escape. Emily dies alone."

"Oh, throw that in my face." She snapped the suitcase shut. "That's bullshit, Grimes."

"It's the truth. If you can't sway them, they'll fall back on Paul, who—no offense—isn't the best fit. He doesn't want it. He can't do it or handle it or whatever his reasons are, but you can. You do. Let me help you do that, so I can take the Hilltop's people out and search the given radius."

"I plan to do a grid search the moment I arrive. They were in the Hilltop at the same time as the Kingdom and likely here, too, so I have a plan, Carl. Let me live." She picked the suitcase up and approached him. "I know how to handle this."

"I know you do."

"Then let me."

"Let me help you."

"I don't…." She heaved a sigh. "Fine, but don't get in my way. You and your pretty hair."

He laughed. "It's a deal, you hardass."

"Mmm, take a lesson from my book then." She gently pushed by him and headed downstairs to say goodbye to Maggie and Glenn and Hersh and Joss. The whole gang.

Paul repressed a snort of laughter at the sight of those two kids who really needed to just have one last bang and let it drop. "I'll see you in Hilltop." He rose off the bed and followed the same path as Enid.

He caught the tail end of the goodbyes, Enid bent down for two sloppy kisses to her cheeks by Joss and Hersh, and Paul smiled at the sight of the little ones. He ached for Grace, but it wasn't the time. He had to escort Enid to Hilltop and see the election through. He had to do this to protect Grace's friends, protect the future of this world, and he would let the rest settle as it would.

"So, Aaron's getting the car, and we'll be heading out," Enid informed Jesus.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"Yeah, um, Aaron's bringing the car around. Him and Grace. They're riding with us, and Carl is coming out alone later with Maggie." Enid mussed her little brother's hair, and he grinned up at her. "We'll have to find a place for us to stay."

"I already had a place in mind, but I didn't expect so much company." Jesus saw the car coming and wondered when in hell Aaron was going to tell him he was coming with them. They had spoken all through the night, taking turns being a limb pillow for Grace who had insisted on sleeping with them. This was never mentioned. What the hell was he doing? And bringing Grace into it? Christ, Aaron.

"Don't be so hard on him. He… he's doing it for your relationship." She smiled encouragingly. "You have to be bold sometimes. Or it all fails."

"Yeah, but sometimes bold can be too bold."

"Not true here."

"Yes, it's true here."

As they bickered like children, Aaron pulled up and helped pack up the trunk. Jesus sent him a look that made him almost regret doing this, and Enid said she would drive them here. Paul and Aaron both exchanged a look and knew a conversation had to be had for Aaron's reasons for coming, if they weren't already apparent.

Grace and Enid were jamming out to a CD in the front seats, taking about Enid's plan for having a grid search with only volunteers before the mandatory hunt should they find a lead. It didn't matter how big they were, their combined peoples were big enough to stop this once and for all.

"Why are you doing this?" Paul lowly questioned, studying Aaron's face. "No, seriously, why."

"Here I thought you'd be happy for the help." Aaron heaved a sigh. "Guess I was wrong."

"It's not about wanting help or needing it. It's about you uprooting our daughter's life on a whim."

"Oh, our daughter? She's ours now?"

"I don't peel seven-year-old limbs off of my body if they aren't connected to my child," Jesus hissed softly. "You know I think of her as mine now, too."

"Then it shouldn't bother you."

"It does. I want her home where it's safe."

"Just because we haven't seen them targeting Alexandria doesn't mean that it is safe. It only means we haven't seen them." He heaved a sigh. "You should accept that."

He dragged a hand through his hair and laughed softly.

This caught Grace's attention and she looked back at her dads, smiling and waving, and they waved back. Enid was eyeing them in the rearview mirror, knowing something was off, and she decided to keep her nose out of it.

Aaron set a hand on Paul's thigh, and Paul tensed instantly at the sudden contact. Aaron knew it had been a minute since the last time he'd actually touched Paul, but he didn't it'd been long enough to make him freeze up. He couldn't lie; it hurt. He removed his hand and sat back in his seat, looking outside the window without saying another word.

"Aaron," Paul softly protested the withdrawal of his hand.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"That wasn't…. No, I'm sorry." Paul reached over and clasped his hands, lacing his fingers through his boyfriends and smiling warmly at him. "You did this for us, and I should be more grateful. I'm sorry."

Aaron smiled back at him. "You've been alone far too long."

"Yeah, but not anymore, right?"

"Not anymore." He sealed that promise with a kiss.

* * *

Carol was in charge of the fifty people search party for either Emily or her captors. Both could be located, but it wasn't clear what condition they would be in. Carol had divided the people up into four groups—one lead by Mika, one lead by Morgan, one lead by Michonne and the last lead by Noah. They were mixed groups from the Kingdom and from Alexandria, searching a middle territory ground between both towns, and it was going on day eight since the child had been taken. Eight days. They all knew what they were looking for, even the optimists.

Carol had brought Charlotte out with them after her first escape from Rick's care. Apparently the little ring leader had gotten Hersh to boost her up and out the car window while Judith kept her parents busy and talking. She jumped out of a moving car and tracked them down by Daryl's boot prints! Carol instantly ran out of ideas, and Daryl instantly went after Rick for being so careless with his little girl.

Carol had to step in between them as blood had run bad between the two of them two years ago, and it wasn't in recovery just yet. She didn't know what the hell had happened, but she was going to have to deal with it later. For now she had to find someone to watch her child, because there wasn't room on the motorcycle, and neither one had helmets, and just no in general.

"Hello." Nina handed over a spear from the shipment the crafters of Hilltop had sent over in lieu of people. "Be careful out there. Here's a food pack. It's two water bottles, a few apples and oat bars. Ration them. It's going to be a long day."

"I brought some supplies of my own, but I appreciate it." He accepted the bag nonetheless and winked at her, catching up to his party before he was lost.

"Then why…?" She shook her head and saw Carol smirking at her. "Hey, how are you?"

"In need of a huge favor." Carol approached her and checked out the RV she had parked behind her. "You're in charge of the meds, right? They walkie you to prep in case anybody is injured?"

"Yes. I took a course with Denise, and I am confident in my skills to handle any injury." She was actually super anxious about the whole ordeal, but she would manage whatever came her way. She would remember lessons and find her inner peace and do the right thing. Whatever the circumstances happen to be.

"Did you take the course on how to watch a sneaky six-year-old?" Carol jested.

"N—no, I think I missed that one."

"Could you just watch her for me, please?" Carol pointed to the little girl who was full-on, WWE smackdown wrestling with her dad to come. "Please?"

After they had made up, Carol and Nina began again to become real friends, and it seemed to be sticking. Carol was actually grateful to have a friendship outside of their prison family, and Nina seemed thrilled to be able to give this a genuine go. She was friendly and very giving, but lonely. Carol tried to fill the void, but Nina was the type of woman who needed a man. Or a woman. Well, just a partner. That was the type of woman she was, and there was no changing it. Carol hoped her eyes weren't on an impossible man again. They had spoken about it many times, but Nina had a type. It wasn't a good type to have. But for now that was unimportant.

Nina looked over as Daryl flicked her nose, and Charli actually growled at him. "I don't mind to, but she won't bite me, will she?"

"She's six. She might bite you."

"The wonders of childhood." Nina chuckled lightly and nodded. "I'd love to watch her. I actually brought some paints and some crayons, you know, just in case." She knew it was childish to hope that Emily could be saved, could be more than simply recovered, but she did hope. She had brought a recovery from trauma kit with her in hopes of using it in Emily, but Charlotte was more than welcome to it. Especially if kept her from going all wild child demon on her. She was good at managing wild kids, but the choke hold was illegal for a reason.

"Charli, stop pullin' my—ow!" Daryl exclaimed from behind them.

Nina tried not to laugh, but it was hilarious to see him squeal. "I'm sorry." She turned away to laugh, and Carol smiled as she looked back at the loves of her lives.

"Charlotte Andrea!" Carol reprimanded. "You do not pull hair. You do not wrestle with family. Cut. It. Out."

She shoved her dad away and ran over to her mom, grabbing her belt tightly with both hands and refusing to let go. "I go."

"Charli, no, we went over this. You can't—"

"I. Go!" She looked dead into her eyes and stamped her foot. "I go."

Carol had never seen her eyes so filled with determination and resolve. She was only six-year-old, and Carol could see the woman she would become, standing there in her green jeans and black button-down, long hair down around her shoulders. She was beautiful and resolute. Blue eyes just like her mother's when a decision had been made for the better of her family, fists clenched at her side.

"I go," she finalized.

"Charlotte." Nina walked around the table and touched her shoulders, bending down to be at eye-level with her. "You can't go with your mommy and daddy, sweet pea. You must stay with me. We have an important job to do, and I need your help to do it."

"I go," was all she would say.

"Emily needs your help to keep these people fed and hydrated, safe from injury. We have to be a guide for them in these woods, and we have to stay vigilant here. You remember that from class, right? The reading?" Charlotte nodded. "Do this important job with me, Charlotte. Stay with me and keep the people going from a safe distance. It's the second most important job out here, sweetie."

"What's the first then?"

"Keep yourself safe." Nina pulled a small knife from her boot. "Here. I want you to take this. We'll practice how to use it, so the next time we go out, you can go with Mom and Dad."

"Nina…." Daryl knew that knife belonged to someone Nina loved very dearly and lost to the world and its sick people. He never learned all the details, but he knew that knife held a sentimental value above all other objects.

"I taught some of the little ones how to defend themselves, and I can teach her, like we discussed." Nina rose from off the ground and looked at Carol, who nodded, and Daryl, who looked only at his daughter wielding a weapon with a clenched jaw. "She'll be safe with me."

"I know." Daryl turned away and mounted his bike, a muscle jumping in his jaw, and he bowed his head. "Let's go."

"Right." Carol knelt down and set a hand on her daughter's cheek, placing a kiss to the other side and smiling lovingly down at her. "You are my entire world, and I will see you safe. That is all this is. Stay, please, for Mommy and Daddy?"

She met her eyes. "I stay? Then I can go?"

Carol nodded.

She exhaled and nodded. "Okay."

"Be good." She pressed a kiss to her brow then rose up and joined Daryl at the bike, looking back once more as Nina accepted Charlotte's hand and they stood there, strong, a unit. People to rely on. Charlotte was no longer a child. This world had made sure of that, hadn't it?


	24. Politics and Shadows

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Aaron was listening to Enid and Paul speak to the people of Hilltop about the voluntary search on shared land, a few people instantly had agreed and were signing up with Carl to head out with Maggie and Eugene momentarily.

And the ones who didn't instantly agree demanded to know who the hell End was to make demands of their people, and Paul tried to step in, but the kid—the lady—already had an answer ready.

"I aim to become the leader of this community," Enid remarked, looking around among the gathered people. "I know it must seem an audacious idea for me, an almost complete stranger to you all, to come in and say such a thing, but leadership is needed. We must combine our efforts with those of the Kingdom and Alexandria. These people mean to threaten our children, to threaten our futures, and we cannot allow that to stand."

"Why the hell would we want you to rule us? You're just a kid," someone shouted.

"But a special kid," Enid replied, not missing a beat. "I was born into the world you all grew old in. I spent half of my life in that world and half of my teenage life in this world, so I am a blend of both. I know what the world can be, what it once was, and I will strive to make it as similar to what we once had.

"Electricity, clean water, clothing, food—I will strive to have those basics needs met every single day. I will spent my life ensuring our home stands tall, our walls do not fall, and that our allying communities are with us. We were made to be one people with many minds and ideas, and I will live by that."

"Big words for a small girl."

Enid chuckled. "Perhaps, but I practice what I preach. I will lead this town with my entire soul, and that is more than you can even imagine. But it is up to each and every one of you to let me. I'll be here for a couple weeks until this matter with those outsiders is dealt with, and you will have the opportunity to decide on me or to continue to struggle without proper leadership."

"We have Jesus," someone shot back. "We have Paul."

Paul blanched and tried to speak, but Enid politely held a hand up to quiet him and instead suggested. "You may have Paul, and Paul has you, but he isn't appointed. He wasn't chosen, so you'll have that chance now. Me, Paul or perhaps someone else who wants to step up and lead. Because you need a leader—not a ruler, not a temporary stand in—a leader. One who is willing and qualified."

"Where are your qualifications?" A woman demanded while another man called out,"What are you anyway, like twelve?"

"I've been leading Alexandria alongside Maggie Rhee for years now. You know of its growth and its accomplishments, and all I want is that for Hilltop."

"It's all we want," Paul threw out. "So please consider Enid. She is a good woman who has seen the worst the world has to offer and has come out relentless and compassionate. Empathic. Those traits make a leader. So…consider that tonight, and we'll discuss this more tomorrow."

* * *

The morning conversations didn't go over very well. People seemed to get caught up on Enid's age and lack of real experience, and speeches were only going to take them so far. Enid personally went out and saw the problems the people dealt with while keeping a walkie on the volunteer search party. She was excellent at multi-tasking, and she proved it to the people. She had to sell herself to better this place, so she'd present a damn fine product. Better than…any leader that had had to date. It wasn't a full challenge, but she was still mostly an outsider, so the work…was real ass-busting work.

So by the end of the day, Enid was exhausted and helped herself to a drink, sitting on the steps to the main hall with a list of demands from the people and no news on the search party. They were meant to report in an hour ago, but Carl hadn't reported in yet. She would worry, but she'd feel it if anything happened to him. She'd just…know.

She brought the glass up to her lips and drank deeply without tasting, though that familiar and disgusting burn and taste caught up to her anyway. She coughed and lowered the glass, wrinkling her nose at the aftertaste and groaning. "Gross."

"Then why drink it at all?"

She lifted her eyes to find Carl entering from outside, looking a little worse for wear, and she smiled a greeting at him. "I had a long day." She set the cup down and patted the step beside her. "Sit. Tell me how it went."

"We found nothing." He set the walkie in its charging pod and dropped down beside her. "No tracks, no trails, no old camps—nada. Daryl and Carol may have found something, but they went out of range."

"Oh, no? Are they okay?"

"No report back just yet, and Charlotte is with Nina still. They're camping out in the woods. I sent Abraham to keep an eye on them in case trouble came. That means Sasha went with him, and I got four people in a camper in the woods with our supplies." It was a treasure trove if people caught onto it. He hoped Abe and Sasha and Nina would be enough to protect their goods. They a couple semi-autos out there should those people close in, but he doubted they were in any real danger. He hoped, anyway.

"They'll be back in the morning. They wouldn't ditch out on Meeks and Charli like that." She wrapped her arms around herself and moistened her lips. "I think I'm losing to a non-existent competitor."

He chuckled, showing every tooth in his mouth, and he ran a hand through his hair, peering at her with his eye. "Oh, yeah? Big concern, right?"

"Hey, it is." She reached over and pinched his arm. "We're talkin' about my future, Grimes."

"All right, ease up." He wet his lips and turned more to face her on the steps. "Why do you think this?"

"I know it's only been a day and a half, but people look at me and see…a joke. I am trying with every fiber of my being to show them the adult I am, but they don't see that. They tell me their problems and scoff off my attempts to help them." She shook her head. "I just want to better this community. How can they not see that? How can they fight that?"

"Change scares people. Especially old people. They… well, they have become set in their ways, and they're accustom to a certain way of living provided by Paul. You have to break Paul's image down and show them you are better. You actually want to do this. You're excellent at this. Show that to them."

"I don't want to smear Paul's image. I adore him." She huffed. "I want to do this clean."

"I—I didn't mean to smear his good name. I only meant show them all the things he doesn't do for them that a leader should. In a kind way, like…in your weird Enid way."

"Oh, I'm weird, am I?" She reached her hand out to punch his knee, and he winced, crying, "Abuse!"

"You called me weird."

"I seem to recall a punch to the shoulder when I called you beautiful when we were dating," he reminded her.

"That was an accident. You caught me off guard." She stood up, collecting her empty glass and setting it on the nearest table. "You still catch me off guard, you know."

"I do?" He tilted his head to the side, the features of a man evident in his strong cheek bones—the cheekbones of his mother—all the to the curve of his jaw where dark hairs sprouted out in a shadow of a beard, and that pale skin honeyed from a day in the sun. He was no longer the boy she fell in love with, but she still had a weak spot for the man he had become. She might always, in fact, have a weak spot for him

"Mmm-hmm." She tucked hair behind her ear and smiled happily. "It kinda happens when you're still…I dunno…in love with a guy?" She shrugged a shoulder. "No, that doesn't seem right."

He lowered his eyes and climbed to his feet, approaching her. "Enid…."

"Oh, I don't want to get back together. I know that for sure. I just… I just want something familiar, you know it?" She turned to face him, hand on the smooth surface of the counter as she did so, and she found that blue eye staring back at her intently. "I…um, just… I want…. I mean, I think I want…. Something."

"I think I want something, too." He reached out and tucked hair behind her other ear, slipping his hand down her cheek in a caress to grasp her chin and pull her in to kiss her.

It was a brush of lips at first, light and lovely, and it was perfect. It was part of the something Enid had been wanting, but it wasn't enough. This light and lovely wasn't enough, and she slipped her tongue into his mouth, which he accepted by wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against his body.

It wasn't how she planned the end the night, but it seemed sorely needed.

* * *

Paul could smell the stress in the air of the house, and he knew there was only one person it could be coming from, and it wasn't the seven-year-old he'd just tucked in for the night. He walked through the house to find Aaron sitting in front of a stack of papers—requests from the people of Hilltop, votes on the new leader as well—and drew closer.

His curls were dark and damp from the shower he'd just taken, a hand to his jaw as he stressed and nearly collapsed from the pressure, and his leg bounced rapidly as he sat there, staring and praying to no real god about the results of this election. He also hoped the requests were simple and wouldn't keep them longer should Paul not be elected leader of Hilltop.

He knew it was wrong to hope the responsibility and leadership role went to a child instead of a grown man who had been dealing with both for months, but he couldn't resist. He wanted Paul for himself, not sharing him with an entire town, and he wanted him for Grace. He wanted him for their home together. He wanted that sweetness again, and he hadn't had it for so long he began to feel pococurante towards the people and issues of Hilltop. It was awful, but he wanted—selfishly so—to have his family back. He'd lost so much, and maybe it had influenced him for the worst….

"I'd ask if you were all right, but I know you better than that." Paul sat down beside him on the couch and frowned at the two neat and untouched piles of papers. "I thought you were going to tell them the news of the winner tomorrow."

"I intend to." He'd dropped his hand to lace his fingers together over the gap between his thighs. "I just…need to get my head on straight."

"Not too straight," Paul mused, and Aaron couldn't help but chuckle. "Come to bed. It's late. You can tally up votes tomorrow morning."

He drew air into the depths of his lungs and shook his head. "I have to know tonight."

"Why?"

"Because I have to know if I am going to have to uproot my life and our daughter's life for the townspeople of this community," he retorted. "I have to know if I have to do that."

"You don't have to do anything. You can stay in Alexandria. I can visit. It'll be fine. We'll make it work."

Aaron turned to face him on the couch, lips parted in a shadow of a frown, brows and eyes tight with complete disappointment and a sense of stupidity on Paul's part. "Are you serious right now? Because I might have to punch you."

"What? We can make it work. We've been through so much, and a little distance isn't going to kill us." He was smiling sweetly, optimistically, and Aaron's frown deepened. "What?"

"Paul, I don't want to "make it work". I want us to… to flow like we always do when we're together. I want us happy. I want… I want to wake up to you and go to sleep with you. I want to raise our daughter together. I want us to be together for as long as we continue to flow, and I can't believe you think we'll more than just barely survive the time and distance and demands of Hilltop."

"Of course we can survive a little time and sp—"

"I just said I don't want to just survive, Paul. For Christ's sake, I love you, and I want us together. I want…. I want to find this child stealer together. I want to be able to kiss you whenever I feel like. I want to be with you for as much as this world allows, and I thought you wanted that too, but…." He heaved a sigh and shook his head, rising. "I need some air."

Paul grabbed his wrist and held him in place. "What did you just say to me?"

"Paul…." His heart sank at the way he'd trailed off, and he lowered his eyes. Never end any conversation on a but. Just for future reference.

"Did you just say you love me?" He stood up to be at level with Aaron and searched his blue eyes, smiling slowly. "You love me?"

Aaron realized he'd let that slip in the middle of his rant, and rogue crept along his neck. He meant it. He had felt it for months now. He had been trying to find a good way to say it, and this wasn't the way he'd planned it. He had wanted it to be special, not in the middle of an argument. Damn it. He had so many plans for telling Paul he loved him, and this wasn't one of them at all!

Paul reached up and cupped his cheek, leaning in and finding his lips, and Aaron relaxed as theirs lips moved together. Parting. A slip of tongue. A moan as that sweet kiss became a series of several hot and hungry kisses, become more demanding and more intense as Paul's body came flush against Aaron's. There was no space between any of parts of their bodies, and it felt like that was the way it was meant to be.

Paul's hand moved to grip the back of his neck, his tongue tracing Aaron's as their lips met again and again, almost aching at the hard pressure there. His heart was racing his chest as Aaron's hands skimmed down the length of his chest to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and feeling out every inch of skin hidden there. He could hardly repress a moan, and he realized he didn't have to with Grace out cold upstairs.

Aaron pulled back for air, Paul scarcely allowed him that moment, and he chuckled, kissing him between laughter's escape, and the sound went straight to Paul's knotted and aroused core. He hadn't been intimate with Aaron in weeks, and it was beginning to show. In more ways than one.

"Fuck." Paul tilted his head back for air, Aaron took that moment to suck on his neck, and Paul's lips parted in a moan as his eyes slid shut to the feel of his lover's tongue tracing his Adam's apple. He could hardly breathe, and Aaron wasn't making this moment of air any easier, especially when dug his hands between the cloth of his boxers and the sensitive flesh of his ass, bringing his waist closer so that he could feel every fucking inch of his erection against his own.

"Aaron," he groaned and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, his knees nearly going weak in that moment.

Aaron took that moment of weakness to tip them over back onto the couch, they moved to be lying down, boots thudding to the floor and a white t-shirt soon followed. Paul worked on the buttons to Aaron's over-shirt, and Aaron didn't play fair as rocked his hips into Paul's. It created the perfect sensation, causing heat and electricity to course through them, and Paul's lungs compacted at all the sudden attention to his member.

"You're going to kill me," Paul confessed, his screwed shut as Aaron continued to rock and stroke him through his jeans.

"Not on the agenda," he murmured, smiling widely and kissing his love once more. He worked on his belt, and Paul helped him, tossing it aside when it was unbuckled, and Aaron laughed at his eagerness to get laid. Paul told him to shut up, but he was laughing, too.

Their lips met once more, Aaron's belt went flying next, and this time neither one of them laughed as they worked his jeans off his body and to the floor. Paul broke their kiss to wet two fingers, Aaron took that moment to remove his shirt and pushed down Paul's jeans. He shifted to remove them, and it didn't matter where the fuck they landed as Paul eased him back and glided two fingers inside of his ass.

Aaron was already panting prior to this, but at the tender stretching, his lungs felt to be on fire. His blood seared, and he could hardly contain himself at the pleasure coursing throughout his entire body. Paul urged him to hold on, and Aaron dug his heels into the couch, nodding despite all evidence to the contrary.

After a few more moments Aaron couldn't stand it any longer and told him to just do it, to do it now or he wouldn't make it. Paul loved to see him like this—unraveling, breathless, pink in the cheeks and needy. It was so goddamn sexy, so he obliged after slicking himself up with salvia and Aaron's precum, teasing the tip of his penis while he did so and earning a pained moan. He grasped his cheeks and laid one long, hot kiss to his mouth before penetrating him and feeling him stiffen instantly.

A series of "fuck" escaped through Aaron's lips as he adjusted, Paul asked if he was all right, and he smiled, assuring him they were good fucks. He told him to hush up and kissed him sweetly, weaving his fingers through his curls before pulling out slowly to thrust back in. The hiss that escaped through tight lips was a familiar. A very good familiar.

"Fuck."

"I kinda am," Jesus mused, and Aaron bucked his hips. "Aah, Christ, Aaron."

"No more games," Aaron instructed, grasping a handful of his hair carefully and crushing his mouth against his. "Faster."

Paul smirked devilishly at him and once more obliged.

* * *

What had started out hungry ended hungry. There was a mess of names being cried out, heels digging into ass cheeks, nails breaking the skin on Aaron's neck, and of course an actual mess as Jesus spilled himself into Aaron and Aaron onto them both. It was a very good thing Grace was upstairs and a heavy sleeper.

"Oh, God," Paul panted. "Aaron."

"I can't feel my legs," Aaron panted himself and laughed. "Jesus, Paul, that was…."

"Incredible? Earth shattering? A fucking delight?" He smiled down at him and kissed his brow before kissing his lips. "I love you, too."

"Oh, good, so I wasn't assuming then."

"No." He shook his head. "But you were right if you thought yes."

"I did more than think yes, if you'll recall."

"Shut up." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Why are you like this? Who made you like this?"

"Uh, you."

He couldn't argue that. "I'll get the shower started. Why don't you throw the blanket into the wash?"

"Okay." He kissed him. "But you're the big spoon tonight. I have too much on my plate to be the big spoon."

"It's a deal." He stroked his cheek and kissed him once more, savoring this, savoring him. He never thought he'd have this. A family all his own complete with the perfect little girl and the most amazing man he'd ever met. He would protect them from this band of assholes lurking outside, no matter what they threw at them, because he wouldn't lose this, lose them. Ever.

* * *

They had driven out of range when Daryl abruptly stopped the bike and told Carol to get off. She lowered her arms from his chest and frowned, asking him what was wrong, and all he did was remove her hands and demand she get off the fucking bike right now. Carol did as she was told, stumbled back and watched him get off, letting the bike fall where it may, and she jolted when it slammed to the ground.

He stomped back and forth for a moment then over to her in a rage and held a hand up, his fingers clenched together into a fist, and he was trembling.

"What is going on?" Carol demanded.

"You had no right."

"What?" She was lost before this even started, but she suspected they had done into a dead zone with the walkie for a reason now. She swallowed and blanked her composure to match him in this fight. "No right to what?"

"To let Nina give our daughter a sharp ass knife and let her train to kill people with it, because we are hunting people. Not walkers, not trolls or some other make-believe bullshit we play with her—people. I don't want my daughter learning how to fucking kill people at age six!"

"Daryl, that isn't what Nina is going to be teaching her. It's basic self-defense."

"Oh, and when did you talk to her about teaching  _our_  daughter that shit? 'Cause I sure as hell don't recall ever okaying talking to Nina about our child and how or when she would learn to fight!"

He was fuming chest heaving rapidly as he went on and on, lecturing her about how uncalled for this was and how promising to bring her out here next time was the biggest mistake she'd ever made and how they couldn't follow through on this and that. He wasn't making much sense as he went on and on, and Carol began to see this wasn't about Charlotte or about the knife or the training or the I stay so I go conversation.

"Daryl."

"No, you ain't gonna shut me up! She is six years old. She should be playing with toys, not weapons. Paintin' with Nina, not learnin' that if you twist the blade after puncturin' a kidney, the body goes into shock. She should be playin' with dolls and her friends back home where it's safe, not in an RV in the middle of the woods that's loaded with nothin' but survival gear and weapons!" He was screaming, the veins in his neck popping out against reddening skin, and he was gesturing wildly, beyond furious, beyond pissed off, beyond any of it. He was too far gone to give a good god damn.

"She is my little girl, too, and I should have a fuckin' say in her trainin'!" He couldn't help that he sounded more and more redneck the angrier he become, but the twang consumed his entire vocabulary now, and he couldn't stop. "Who the fuck said you could and make all the decisions for her? We're a we now, and you sure as shit didn't discuss this with me. I don't approve. We got a missin' kid, so yeah, let's just throw little kids outside with knives and hope the situation gets better!"

"Daryl, please, calm down." She tried to step closer to him, but he sent her a warning look to keep back. "You won't hurt me."

"Don't fuckin' tell me to calm down," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Daryl, please, I—"

"Am I just a joke to you? Do you really think you can just make life-altering decisions about my kid and not involve me? I know I missed the first four years pretty much, but that is my flesh and blood! That is my baby girl! You don't get to do nothin' alone in regards to her and her well bein' and her trainin'. We agreed to wait. We agreed. What the fuck happened from that agreement to now? What the fuck happened, Carol?"

"Nothing happened!" she snapped back. "We agreed, but life made a point we couldn't ignore. Children was vulnerable, and our daughter was not only targeted by these assholes but marked! They wanted to come back for her, so how can you stand there and tell me it's fucking stupid for her to know how to fight back?"

"She knew how to fight back when they took her, and it wasn't enough! They still overpowered her and marked her, hurt her, and she is still in recovery from that mark. It still bleeds every night. It's swollen, and it could be infected, and instead of leavin' her with Denise like good parents, we dragged her out here at her request because she refused to take no for an answer." His heart pounded against its bone cage so rapidly he feared it would break through and be pierced by the broken bones. He couldn't calm himself down. He had never loved another living being in this way, and she was too small to not be protected. How could Carol not see this? "We'll just lose her, Carol, can't you see that?!"

"You're being…so irrational right now." She couldn't handle this, not in the middle of the woods at night with the yelling and the ridicule. She couldn't. "Just breathe, Daryl, please."

"I am, but our daughter won't if we don't get her back inside those walls. Why would…. Why did I agree to this? What the fuck is wrong with me?" he murmured.

"Daryl, stop it." She closed the space between them and touched his cheek, he instantly turned away, and she felt her heart ache. "Look at me."

He closed his eyes and walked away from her.

"Don't you dare do this, Daryl." She grasped his arm with both her hands and yanked him hard to try and stop him, but he didn't budge. She wrapped her arms around his torso from behind and held tightly to him. "Stop it. Calm down."

"Fuck." He tried to remove her hands, but she wouldn't let him. "L—let me go."

"I'm sorry." She buried her face in his shoulder blade. "I love you."

"Lemme…go." His breathing was harsh, panicked, and he was quaking in her arms. "I—I can't…. I fuckin' can't…."

"I'm so sorry. I love you."

"G—get off me." He pried her hands off and fell to his knees, grabbing at his throat. "I—I can't fuckin' breathe…. Carol!"

She realized it wasn't anger choking him anymore; it was panic. He was having a panic attack, and his body wasn't cooperating with him. She set a hand on his shoulder and tried to help him through it, but he was turning blue in the face and rasping.

"Oh, my God, Daryl." She cupped his cheeks. "Breathe, just like me. Okay."

He wheezed and was almost entirely blue in his cheeks, and he scratched his throat trying to breathe.

"Daryl, please—please." She closed her eyes and kissed him softly. "Please, just breathe like me."

He sputtered and coughed, her lips found his once more, and he tried to ignore how soft her lips were, how they molded to his dispute the spit up of saliva from the rush of air into his lung after a full two or three minutes without. He tried to not want her in that moment, but they hadn't had sex in weeks, because of the missing child and the Charlotte's nightmares. He was still very livid and wanted to remain livid, because it was bullshit. It felt like they were handing their daughter over to these people on a silver platter, but fuck, he was weak.

In the woods Ila watched the couple argue loudly, her eyes looking for blessed one who might overhear, but they were in a loss area. No blessed in sight. So the more they yelled, the more she was interested in the conversation about their potential. It had gone from exciting to a little boring to sexy all in about thirty minutes or less. It was no wonder such a pair had such a child.

Their lips met again and again, Daryl shoved her against the earth harshly, undoing her belt and letting it and her holster unravel around her hips and fall to the ground. He ran his hands along the curves of her body and brought her pelvis right against his to buck his hips into hers. She moaned and dug her nails into neck, and he hissed at how much pleasure he felt instead of pain. He wanted to be buried inside of her, thrusting until he came undone, and the rest of this mess faded away for a small moment.

Ila tilted her head to the side as they moved together to remove her jeans but kept stopping to kiss. It was a sloppy sort of kiss, noses kept clashes—teeth, too, no doubt—and he kept rocking against her. He wanted her wet, very wet from how tended to her body, but he wasn't being very courteous or gentlemanly. The way he kissed her; it was rough and all tongue and teeth. It wasn't the type of kiss she had come to expect from the man. He was hungry, and she was nothing more than a meal to him. Perhaps she should intervene then, she thought and pulled a gun from her hip holster.

Daryl asked her to turn over in the middle of kissing her, she frowned and asked why, but he only asked once more. She kissed him again and shifted underneath him, feeling his erection at her hip, and she felt less annoyed by this request.

Eeron watched the couple from the safety of a tree, seeing Ila was watching them, too, and he smirked as the mother turned around at request, face facing the earth instead of the father. He shifted and observed as the father carefully shimmed her jeans down to her ankles, kissing her backside thoughtfully yet…almost seemingly out of habit. Hmm, interesting.

Carol whimpered when his tongue entered her from behind, her arms overlapped on the ground like a pillow as her ass end was exposed and lifted by his hands, and she hadn't recalled a time when he'd done this before, but she didn't complain as his tongue explored her and teased her and tested just how ready she was for more.

Her lips parted in request for him to be inside of her, Ila noted, and he undid the zipper to his jeans, did some adjusting and penetrated her vaginally from behind. He stopped his movements for a moment then went into a hard, fast rhythm Ila could hardly keep up with. He wasn't doing this for her at all. Shame.

Carol's lips parted in a moan as he went harder and faster, the only sounds in the air of their heated breathing and the clapping of her ass to his front. It was more arousing then she thought it could be, and she had to touch herself. She reached between her thighs and knowing her body as she did, she found her clit easily and began tending to the sensitive pearl, pumping her hips in time with Daryl's and grunting at his force.

Eeron spotted Ila mirroring the expressions of the mother, her lips parting in silent moans as she worked herself as tenderly yet as roughly as the mother, and he decided to join her. It would be an utter waste to not know the parent of their chosen so well. Perhaps they would be making another chosen angel should science allow it.

Daryl leaned over top of her now, his hands resting on either side of her hips as he bucked into her, feeling himself reaching up and up and up, and he wasn't able to breath for a difference reason as he fucked the woman he loved. She was busy working herself, so he forgot himself for a moment and let his body take over. His body smacked against hers, not caring that that action might hurt her, distantly aware of her orgasming around him, and soon it didn't matter as he went blind the world. He moaned and ripped out of her, falling back onto the earth as he ejaculated and lied back to lose himself.

Ila had finished with the mother, though at the father's pull out, she began to feel enraged and wanted to join them for a different reason. She could easily spare the mother while killing the father, though he did provide the features for Charlotte that made her chosen. It wouldn't be enough to save him, but it would be enough for her to pause, just to see if he made this right. To see if he would stop being selfish and wasteful.

Carol stood up and tugged her pants up with her, buttoning them and tucking hair out of her face, grabbing her holster and adjusting it on her hip, not looking at Daryl. She collected her knife and headed over to the bike to straighten it.

Daryl had cleaned himself off in the meantime and adjusted his jeans, sitting away from the area they'd just…fucked in, and he felt sick with himself. He shouldn't have done that. Rage fucked the woman he loved. She was into it, sure, but she shouldn't have been presented the option. It wasn't like he was irritated with her to begin with, but he still chose to take it out on her. And he hadn't been gentle at all. He hadn't been a good man about it. He couldn't' even look at her face, so he made her turn around so he could get off without feeling guilty about going hard. Christ, he channeled his brother more in that moment that he did when he first joined the group.

"Are you done?" Carol asked from across the way.

"You were there," he shot back, "you tell me."

"Daryl." She turned to face him know. "I know what that was, you know. I'm not…blind to you. I never have been, and we've never done that before, so it leads me to one conclusion."

"Just wanted to try a new position," he lied. "Been a while. I wanted it quick."

"You wanted it for you," she corrected. "And you used me to do that."

"You weren't complainin'."

"I never said I did. It's my body. I can decide what I do or don't do with it."

He pulled his legs into his chest and avoided eye contact with her.

"You're upset. I understand that. I also understand how long it's been since we last had sex, but you had no right to take it out on me." She didn't mind that they did it, but it was starting to bother her about his behavior during. "It's just a knife."

"It ain't a  _just_  knife," he murmured. "She's too young."

"We have had this fight repeatedly, and you even agree with me that Charlotte needs to be better prepared for the world. That means knives and learning how to fight. This world rarely lets children be children, and our daughter is not one of those lucky few, and you need to accept that. Someone has targeted her, maimed and marked her, and we cannot stand by and allow her to wander this world without protection of her own." Carol turned to face him now, hands on her hips, eyes stern and in his. "We both spoke to Nina on separate occasions to have her teach Charlotte how to wield a knife, because Nina is the type to incapacitate while we're the ones who kill. That's right. I asked if you had been by, so don't bother denying it."

"I ain't gonna, but I only asked for when she was eight or nine, not now, not at six." He heaved a loud sigh. "I can't agree with it. I just can't make any kind of peace with our daughter bein' armed."

"Armed and prepared is better than unarmed and dead," Carol reminded him. "You know what happened to Sophia."

"Do  _not_  throw that little girl in my face."

"I'm not throwing my daughter in anybody's face, just trying to make a point about little girls getting lost in the woods because someone or something wants them."

"Sophia was twice our girl's age, Carol, and you know it. She… she didn't have the spirit to survive. I'm sorry, but she didn't. After all we've been through, all we've done, I think she wouldn't have been the same…just like her little sister will not be the same."

"No one is born to spend their entire lives on the same course as the same person."

"You know that ain't the same thing."

"It's redundant is what it is. She is learning with Nina right now, and we have to follow clues for those people. Let's go."

"They're in the wind, Carol, and you know it. These search parties are just…dangerous." He stood up and shook his head. "It's late. We oughta head back, get uh, cleaned up and head home."

"All right." She collected her bow and quiver from the built-on holder off the back of his bike and headed into the woods, and he went after her, asking her what she was doing. "Not giving up. We don't know where they are or how far they have travelled. For all we knew, we're right outside their camp, and I won't turn back now."

"It's the middle of the night," he threw back. "We need to regroup."

"No."

"Damn it, Carol." He jogged after her and caught her wrist to stop her. "Please?"

"I know exactly what Nadine is going through, and I can't just stand by and let it continue." Her voice broke, and she tried to keep her resolve firm, but she was exhausted, too. "This bitch came into our lives, marked our daughter and took hers. It's not fair. It's not right."

"I know it isn't."

"Bitch has to die. Our daughter won't be safe until she's dead, and then we can stop fighting about knives and guns until she's eight or nine. But until then…. Until we have confirmation that she is dead and gone, I can't… I can't stop." Tears welled up in her eyes, and she closed her eyes, the bastards betraying her and falling free. "I can't."

"C'mere." He wrapped his arms around her and held the back of her head. "You need to rest. We're both worn thin. We'll come back out in the mornin', but let's just go home. We haven't been there since we got back to Alexandria."

"But Charlotte—"

"Will be fine with Nina. She's got back up on the way, and she'll probably pitch a fit on us restin', so let's just head home and get her in the morning."

"I don't know that I feel comfortable with that." She wanted to cuddle with her little girl and kiss her hair and watch her sleep—simply know he was all right and within arm's reach. It would provide no sleep, so maybe he had the right idea. "All right."

He smiled tenderly at her and kissed her brow. "You've been through enough tonight, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." She slid her arms up and around to hold his shoulder blades. "And if it's about the sex, really don't be sorry. I kinda needed that."

He chuckled and buried his face in his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She kissed his neck and exhaled. "We have to find a real compromise with Charlotte, Daryl. You know it. I know it. Mika knows it. She has to be taught. She has to be."

He didn't want to sour the mood, so he didn't speak, because he wanted to raise his child to have a good childhood. He wanted toys and laughter, play fighting and dolls. He wanted her to have an imagination and friends. He wanted to spoil her rotten with love and light as he never had a child, and he wanted her to grow into her skill as a young woman not as a little girl. He wanted her to have the same chances as Judith and Grace and Hersh. Not this. He never wanted this.

The trip back to Alexandria was quick, Daryl checked in with Nina via walkie talkie and told her their plan, which she agreed to, and he said good night to his little girl, who was going to bed now. She asked him to read her a story, like how Uncle Zeke had read to her when she was in the hospital, and he decided to make one up on the spot since Carol had yet to unpack her favorite storybooks.

"Daddy?"

"I'm here, baby." He sat down on the couch and cleared his throat. "Once upon a time—"

"No, a real story, Daddy. I want a real story tonight, please." She curled up against Nina's chest and tugged the blanket closer. "Like how you and Mommy met. I like that story."

"Oh, I don't know how Mom tells that story."

"That's okay. Tell me your side."

He scratched a hand through his hair and nodded his head. "All right, um… We met at a quarry back in Georgia." He paused. "A quarry is a place like a deep pit where stones are taken from, you know?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, anyway, we met there, and it was like a different time period. I was with your Uncle Merle and I didn't know Carol much. I knew her, though, and she took care of everybody as best she could."

"I know that, Daddy. Tell me about my big sister, Sophia."

He gulped. "M—mom talked about Sophia?"

"Uh-huh. She wasn't yours, but she's mine, right, Daddy?"

"Y—yeah, baby, she's yours."

"Do we look alike?" She yawned widely and exhaled slowly, eyes drooping. "Mommy said I did."

"Yeah, you do. You look like her in that you both have the same freckles and kinda the same nose now." She had grown into it more and more, and it looked less like his and Carol's and more like how Sophia's looked now that he was thinking about it. It was probably a family nose from Carol's side since the girl got most of her genes anyway. "Sophia had brown eyes, though, and red hair, like your mama."

"Red hair? Mommy said it was auburn."

"That's the same thing. Sorta."

She hmmed and began to fall asleep to the sound of his voice. "Could she fight, too?"

"No, nah that girl…didn't have a mean bone in her body." The worst he'd ever gotten was a glare from her, but even then, she was still thoughtful and sweet. She was the sweetest kid he'd ever met, especially given her situation, and he wished she had survived, even if it meant….

"Say goodnight," Nina whispered into the walkie.

"Good night, Daddy. Good night, Mommy."

"Good night, baby girl." This came from Carol who entered from the bathroom, having showered the dirt from under her nails and off her knees and out of her hair. She was wearing loose pajama clothes and noticed Daryl still held the button down to speak. "We love you."

"Mmm…."

"Good night." Nina flicked the walkie off and set it aside, holding Charlotte to her chest and stroking her soft hairs. She kissed the top of her head and longed for a child of her own. She knew she was young, but the changes of having a child in this world? With someone she loved? That was the real issue here.

"You all right?" Sasha asked Nina, who had sighed deeply for the fifth time since Charli climbed into her lap and cuddled up with her.

"Oh, I'm great." She pulled out a happy smile and stroked Charlotte's full, fluffy mane. "She's just so precious. I wish she was mine, you know?"

Abraham looked back at that comment to read his girlfriend, who smiled and nodded softly, and he adjusted himself in the driver's seat. "What's stopping you?"

"Huh?" Nina looked up at him from the cot she and Charli were sharing as the back room had been converted into a portable armory for their people. It was a combination of Kingdom and Alexandria weapons with spears from Hilltop and Daryl's arrow/bolt collection. No room for beds, and certainly no place for a child.

"What's stopping you? Just get some sperm and do it the turkey baster way." He propped his feet up on the dash. "Ask a friend."

"A friend? I don't have any guy friends, and I doubt Carol wants me conceiving Daryl's second child." She knew Daryl had wanted another child a year or more ago, and Carol couldn't provide that for him, but no. No, it was too complicated, and she was still trying to unravel her feelings for him. She couldn't ask him for sperm. He'd probably freak out and bail. Hell, she'd freak out and bail. It was too weird.

"I'd do it."

Sasha's head snapped around so fast Nina worried she might have hurt herself, and Abraham knew he had just hurt himself by speaking. "Let's do a perimeter check. We should give Charlotte some space to fall thoroughly asleep."

Abe nearly laughed at that flat ass lie, but he was already in for a world of hurt. He didn't want to add to the lecture, so he hopped up and followed her outside. He grabbed a flashlight on the way out and flicked it on, but it wasn't coming on. He smacked the butt of it, but it must of have no juice.

"What the hell are you doing right now?" Sasha demanded, brown eyes burning.

"Tryin' get this damned thing on." He lifted his eyes to see that wasn't the answer she wanted, so he pointed to the RV as if to ask 'Ah, you meant in there?'.

"Yeah, in there, you dumbass. Why would you offer up your sperm to her? That's incredibly strange, for one. And for two, Nina doesn't need your help to get pregnant." She didn't approve of this. The woman was too into other people to really be invested in herself and a pregnancy. She wanted to take care of the whole damn world and would let herself burn to do it. That wasn't the attitude to have if you wanted a baby; a baby called for selfishness sometimes, and the woman was too damn altruistic for that.

"Well, it's not doin' me any good," he replied. "It's just there."

"It's not just there, and it isn't for you alone to deal out." She snapped. "Maybe I want kids. I'd rather not explain to them that their father had kids with the neighbor."

"It was just a suggestion, and she won't take me up on it. She's a good kid, but she isn't into me. She's not into anybody at the moment, but still." He tried once more with the flashlight and shook his head. "Why do we have this damn thing it don't work?"

"I know women like Nina. She'll become attached to you through any kid you may provide, and I don't want anyone else to have that kind of claim on you. I am a possessive person, and I like what's mine to be only mine."

He smirked. "So, I'm yours then?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're not even listening. Stop whacking at that flashlight. You'll just break it."

Just then it came to life at the smack of his hand, he grinned delightfully—arrogantly—and lifted its ray to the forest around then, and it devoured that grin. Sasha instantly took notice of the shift in his features and spun around to see carved in every single tree around them:  ** _We're watching her_**.

"What the fuck?" He approached the trees and saw more and more trees marked with the same words over and over, but they were each so different. It was like an entire group of people had been standing outside the RV, watching and carving while they went blindly about their lives inside.

There had to be about fifty marked trees just to the left of the RV, each one marked in a different hand, and there was nothing repeated about any W or H or even E. As Abraham examined the marks, he could tell they weren't even the same type of blade. They went from machetes to steak knives to so many others it wasn't even funny. An entire group of fifty plus people were lurking outside the RV and didn't make a sound. Not one single person tripped the booby traps, tripped the sound traps, tripped over their down goddamned feet. Fifty plus people stood there and made fools of them for Charlotte to know she didn't belong to herself anymore—she belonged to them.


	25. Approach

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Carol roused to the feeling of someone climbing onto her bed, and her eyes parted to see blurry brown hair and happy blue eyes. She blinked to clear the liquid sleep from her eyes and saw her daughter beaming at her, the crown on her crown covered by a band-aid, and she was all dolled up in a cute little sweater and leggings, looking more comfortable than Carol had felt in days.

"Mommy." She hugged her tightly, lying on top of her and resting her head on her chest. "You're up. We can go now."

"What?" Carol inhaled deeply and sat up, Charli rolled over Daryl's vacant side of the bed, and Carol rubbed at her eye. "Let me wake up, baby."

"You are awake, silly." She grinned and rolled back onto her mother's lap, grasping her hands. "Daddy made breakfast, and there's a town hall meeting. I go, too, right?"

"Umm, sure, you can go with us to the meeting." Carol set her hands on either side of her chunky little face and smiled at her. "Good morning, my love." She kissed her nose and returned that beaming smile. "You look lovely. Did Nina help you get dressed?"

"No, Michonne did." She looked over the sweater Judith had lent her and showed the pretty braid Michonne have given her. "Look, isn't it pretty? Better than Daddy's, but don't tell him I said so."

"My lips are seal, but why did Michonne dress you?"

"We left the camper sometime while I slept, and I woke up in Judy's room." She began to bounce on Carol's lap and was excited to get the day started. She was going to bring Emily home today, and while she didn't learn anything with Nina, she didn't have to say. She wanted to find her best friend in the whole wide world, and she was going to do it. Today.

"Okay, you need to calm down. I—I need coffee." She lifted her up and off the bed onto the floor, standing up and walking over to her closet to change into something nice for the day. And by nice, she meant actively useful. Thick jeans, sturdy boots, and a top that made her look like she had no figure. At least she could use the extra space to hide a knife or two.

"Oh, I should change, too." She made this comment after her mom put on jeans and button-down top.

"No, you're fine for the meeting." She grabbed her boots and shoved her feet into them, adjusting her socks. "Do—do you have that knife Nina gave you?"

"Oh, yeah, check it out, Mommy." She lifted her shirt to show off the holster belt she'd been given by Abraham. "It's from Abe."

"Aww, how thoughtful." Carol looked over the leatherwork and saw little bears etched into it. She tested it by tugging hard, jolting her daughter, and Carol nodded approvingly at the craftsmanship. "Sorry about that, baby. Just wanted to make sure it's good."

"It is good."

"Yes, it is." She stroked her chin and smiled at her. "We'll practice a couple moves after the meeting."

Her face lit up as joy flashed in her blue eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, but let's keep it between us. Dad… Dad isn't too happy about the lessons." She looked over the rose engraved hilt of the knife Nina had given her and pulled it out, seeing it was sharp and clean and engraved on the blade. It wasn't in English, but Carol knew it meant something meaningful. "Nina's important to you, isn't she?"

"Yeah. She's so cool! She seems sad lately, though. I don't like that." She pursed her lips in a frown. "It hurts my chest."

She placed the knife back into its sheath and tugged her shirt down over the holsters. "It hurts your heart, baby, and it does mine, too."

"I want her to be happy, but I dunno how to help."

"Just be you, and I think it'll help." She kissed her cheek and picked her up. "C'mon."

They started to leave when Daryl called to Carol with rage in his voice and panic in the direction of Mika's room. Carol hurried down the hall to find her fifteen-year-old daughter in bed with her fifteen-year-old boyfriend. And while they were fully dressed and still in sneakers, Mika was blood red and stammering and trying to explain while Henry was frozen in fear at the sight of her father.

"Okay, here, take Charlotte." She wanted him to be holding something other than Henry's neck in a second, and Charlotte seemed to agree as she latched on to her dad. "Mika. Henry. What is going on?"

"It isn't what you think," Mika swore. "Well, sort of not what you think."

"Why is he here?" Daryl seethed, a vein in his neck popping out as he held onto his daughter lightly.

"I—I invited him to sleep over. I thought it'd be nicer here than in the guest home where the other Kingdom people are crashing." She stood up and walked over to her mom. "I… I swear we didn't do anything. We just slept. We were just so exhausted, and it's a new building built while we were away. I didn't know where it was. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

"We're not mad at you." She smiled thoughtfully at her. "I understand."

"You do?" She peeked at her father, who was still turning colors, and she was glad he hadn't walked in on their good morning kisses. "I'm not in trouble?"

"Oh, you're in trouble, but I still understand." She looked over at Henry, who was still staring at Daryl with fear. "We have breakfast downstairs. Why don't you join us?"

"I—um, okay." He nodded—a little too much, perhaps.

"Go wash up." Carol passed a look to Mika to tell her that would have a conversation about this later, and she smiled at Henry as he passed by, leaving the three of them. "We do have food ready, because I don't think that boy can handle waiting around for… food."

She had trailed off when Daryl's glare turned to her instead of laughter, and she tried to ask him what was wrong when he sat Charlotte down on the chest at the end of Mika's bed and lifted her shirt up just below her breast to reveal the holster.

"What the fuck is this?" he demanded, his anger moving from one daughter's circumstances to the other.

"It's a knife holster and belt that Abraham made for her."

His tongue ran across his teeth, and he scoffed. "Why."

"Abraham made it for her. I didn't ask him to make her anything if you're implying that, but I assume Michonne asked when she asked for Judith. Or he assumed to make one for her when Michonne asked for one for Judith. I can't speak on it, but that's my assumption."

"We still haven't come to an agreement with this." He undid the belt and held it by the knife holster. "She ain't keepin' this. It's Nina's. We'll give it back."

"Daddy, no!" Charlotte reached for the knife, but he had walked away. She jumped off the chest and jumped to try and reach the belt. "Daddy, give it back. I need it."

"Oh, you hear that? She  _needs_  a knife now." He was glowering at Carol. "One night with Nina, and she needs a knife now."

"She doesn't mean that she needs the knife. She means that she needs it to go with us to find Emily."

"She needs a toy, not a goddamned weapon." He threw it down on the dresser where Charli couldn't reach it. "She needs as normal a childhood as she can get."

"This world has literal dead people walking around. You tell me how normal that is? Why are you so angry? Why are you taking it out on me? I—I lost two daughters, and you have lost nothing! You have no idea what that feels like, so why the hell do you get to yell at me like you do?!"

"Stop it!" Charlotte wailed at her parents fighting.

"Y—you think I don't know what loss is?" His jaw set as he shook his head at her. "Do you have any idea what I've been through when I thought I lost you? Or when I lost my brother? Lost Ty and Dale and Hershel? I saw his head be severed from his body. You have no idea of my losses!"

"Losing brother isn't like losing a child you've carried for nine months and twelve years!"

"It's worse 'cause I knew him my  _whole_  damn life! I was never without him and the moment I was, I had you! I had you, and then I didn't. I lost you for four goddamn years, and I am trying to not lose my little girl for the rest of my life, too! How is that asking for too much?"

"Stop it!" She slammed her foot down onto the floor. "Stop it now!"

Carol jolted when Charlotte kept screaming to get their attention, Daryl shook his head and walked out, and Carol told her to please stop. She told her to join the others for breakfast, Charli ran out of the room, grabbing the belt on her way by jumping for it, and Carol sat down on the chest, bringing her hands to cover her face as she sobbed.

* * *

The meeting was about the trees and the words carved there. Carol went out with Rick and Michonne to see what was going on with it, and Daryl hung back with Mika and Nina. Carol didn't bother to speak to him on the way out, and Beth told him Charli had checked in with the other kids Olivia was watching, so no worries.

"I can't believe they'd do this all for Charlotte." Nina shook her head, watching Mika work on her homework from the kitchen. "Can you?"

"They're insane. Never underestimate crazy people." He was sitting on the floor, glaring at his nails as he picked at them, and he wanted to watch the whole world burn with the mood he was in.

"Okay, I know for a fact you got laid," Nina was musing, "so why so grumpy?"

"You gave my kid a fuckin' knife." He shot up off the ground at a sped that made her nearly jump back into the sink. "Why? Why would you willingly give a six-year-old a knife? It's…fuckin' stupid, and you're not stupid, so why?"

"Because in this world six is a lucky age to reach. Six is the new ten when it comes to weapons and training." She searched his eyes and stepped closer to him, setting a hand on his chest and trying to impart wisdom like someone who actually had wisdom to impart. "She knows how to spell, how to read and write. She knows how to find her way home inside the walls. She knows how to find her parents in a crowd. She knows how to hide from bad people. Now it's time for her to learn how to fight and protect herself.

"I know she seems older than her age, but I am aware that she isn't. I am aware is she a baby. Your baby, and that's why I did it. I… I know how bad it hurts to lose someone you love. Everyone you love. And it never gets better. You only manage to deal with it because a new loss arrives. And I don't want that for you or for Carol or Mika. I love you…all so much, and I can't stand that thought, that fear.

"But it isn't a fear in the back of my mind. It's right here between us right now. It's a constant lurking outside these walls. It's the reality of this world, and we can't fight that. You can't fight that, so stop. It's not her fault. It's not Carol's fault. It's the world and its shitty love for destruction. It can't be help, but she can be taught. She can learn how to protect over kill, to save over injure, and a knife is more than a weapon. You know that. So please, stop this. Be smarter than your emotions."

"I am bein' smart. That's why I—" He was cut off her kissing him, he instantly reacted and shoved her back, glowering at her. "What the fuck, Nina?!"

"See. See, you reach for anger first! I knew it." She smirked at him. "You need to stop that, too. Carol loves you, but you're hurting her. You need to reach for understanding first. Always first with understanding. Anger only hurts both of you. It hurts your daughters. It's not…healthy, Daryl. What happened to make you…change?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't make this about shit other than some random excuse to kiss me."

"Oh, you think you're that hot?" She arched a brow at him. "I happen to be very much in a committed friendship with your girlfriend. I wouldn't do that unless I had a point to make. You're being stupid. I'm sorry. That's harsh, but you both are. You need to consider both angles, and I mean  _both of you_. You're going to lose each other to the rage. That's going to cost you so much in the long run and the right now….

"Please? I am begging you to find her right now and apologize. Find her and talk. No yelling. No rage first. Just talk and remember why you're in love and who you're protecting. You need to perspective, and that kiss just gave it to you. You love her. You love your daughters. You want them alive, but you have to…make certain choices, and I know it's not easy. I know it's not what you want for her, but…it's what she needs. What she has to expect of herself and of the world. Isn't that part of being a parent? Preparing your child? Prepare her, Daryl, or you'll lose her to that same rage."

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He was…repulsed by his behavior—by himself—and it wasn't just the sex. It wasn't just the yelling. It was everything. She was right. He was angry. It wasn't Carol's fault. It wasn't Nina's fault. It wasn't Charlotte or Rick or physical being's fault. It belonged to the world, and he couldn't be angry at the entire world and expect to bring joy and light and laughter into his daughter's childhood. If he held on like he was, he'd become his father. Only it'd mental and situational, not physical.

He wasn't himself. He was reverting to who he was, back to that brotherless kid at the farm, who went off on Carol, because he'd hurt himself. Only now he was taking it out on Carol, because Charlotte had gotten hurt by the world and its people. He was blaming her with for no good reason. There was nothing good enough to excuse what he'd done to her, said to her, and there was no point hating himself. The only point now was to go forward and apologize and pray that she forgave, because she was his entire world, and he couldn't lose her to himself.

"I have to go." He looked around for his crossbow and keys.

"Wait, now?" She was beaming like a giddy schoolgirl. "Yes! Go get her."

He laughed softly and embraced her. "Thank you."

She smiled and hugged him back tightly. "Just love her. That's the best thanks I could get."

He released her and grabbed his bow and keys, calling to Mika, who instantly shot up and ran after him. They headed to the car and drove out to the woods where Carol and Rick were trying to find leads on the footprints left behind, but they were so many going in so many directions, and Michonne told them to stop trying. They were the mice here, not the cat, and that wasn't changing.

"It's my daughter they are wanting. I won't stop." Carol turned to face her best friend. "If it were Judith, you'd be leveling this whole forest for clues."

Michonne exhaled and thought of her kids. "We need a new perspective. Let's go home and think this out. Maybe Charli saw something. She was the only one looking outside the windows. Abe and Sasha were doing a weapons count. And Nina was trying to get Charli away from the windows. They are the only two who might know more."

"Or I burn these woods to the ground," Carol shouted into the mid-afternoon breeze. "Would you like that, you asshole! Huh! Leave my daughter alone!"

"Carol." Rick gestured to the walkers she was bringing down on them, and she pulled her gun from her pocket to kill them. He caught her wrist and nodded to Michonne, who took her katana out to kill them. "It'll bring more walkers down. You're just pissed."

"My daughter is being stalked by someone bitch named Ila who I cannot find a trail on. Of course, I am pissed." She lowered her arm and huffed. "I need her found so I can kill her myself and stop this game. My 6-year-old is carting around a knife, Rick. A knife. I hate this so much, but I can't relive losing my child for a third time."

His eyes lowered, but he understood what she was going through. Well, as closely as he had when he thought he'd lost Judith. "We won't let anythin' happen to her. I swear."

"Again, you mean." Michonne flicked blood off her blade and sheathed her katana. "We won't let anything  _else_  happen to her."

"Of course I meant again." He ran a hand through her hair. "We'll keep her safe, Carol. She's one of us, and we protect our own."

"Until we can't." Carol whispered this and set a hand on her stomach, feeling nauseous. She groaned as bile rose up in her throat, and she gripped her knee.

"Carol?" Michonne closed the space between them and set a hand on her back. "You all right?"

She took a few quick, deep breaths, drawling the air in to the full capacity of her lungs and expelling it, but the bile rose up again and again, salvia dripping from her lips. She stumbled back and hurled onto the forest floor.

It was then that Daryl and Mika arrived, Daryl rushed over to see what had been found to make her ill, and Mika ran over once she'd freed herself from the seat belt. They reached her at the same time, Daryl worried she might have contracted something from their nights in the woods, and Mika was worried simply because Mom had a strong stomach, and she'd never seen her throw up before. Not even when she was actually sick.

"I'm okay." She spit onto the ground and stood up. "I'm… I'm okay."

"You sure?" Daryl studied her face, seeing she was losing color, and her eyes were unfocused. "You should sit down."

"I am fine." She sent him a glower. "Why are you here?"

"To apologize." He looked at Michonne and Rick, who made eye contact and headed to the RV with Mika."Llook, I'm really sorry about my behavior lately. It ain't you. I… I'm just mad at the situation."

"So, you take it out on me? And that makes it okay? Just because you said sorry?"

"What? No. No, I know it doesn't work that way, but I am sorry. I'll do better. I'll make it up to you." He scanned her face, seeing she wasn't thrilled or moved by his apology, and he wondered just how awful he had been to her the last week. "That's not going to be enough, is it?"

"No, it isn't." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't want words, Daryl. I find them meaningless when making up. I like actions. Help me find this bitch, and maybe—maybe—we'll sleep in the same bed again."

He bowed his head and nodded. "Okay."

"I understand why, so don't think I'm just being a bitch about it." She stepped closer to him and set a hand on his arm. "You never processed your childhood, so you have a lot of anger bottled up and are always ready to attack someone with it, but it's not me. I am not the enemy. I love you. I've always stood by you, so why hurt me? Why attack me? Why?"

"Because you're a stone wall. Nothing phases you, and I knew that back on the farm. You…take it in and build a stronger skin. I… I took advantage of that, and I hate myself for it."

"I don't want you to hate yourself, Daryl. I don't want you to hate at all."

"But I do," he confessed weakly. "I couldn't save Sophia. I couldn't save Lizzie. I couldn't save…Charli from bein' hurt. I'm useless as a dad, and it weren't for your trainin', God knows how bad I woulda fucked up Mika. I mean, I—" He sputtered, and tears burned in his eyes. "I failed her, Carol, and I can't make that right."

She exhaled gently and met his eyes. "You didn't fail her, Daryl. In this world, she is bound to get hurt. It just so happen that…she got hurt in a way that is going to be with her forever. Emotionally and physically. It's not the end of the world. People fuck up with kids all the time, but thankfully it wasn't us who did this to…her…."

Daryl frowned when she dropped off.

Her eyes mirrored his at the realization that they were hurting Charli. She recalled her screaming at them his morning. She'd been crying, too, begging them to stop fighting. They did nothing to assure her, only went off on each other more and more. They'd hurt her then, and it wasn't the first time since she'd gotten hurt by Ila that they'd hurt her. It'd been going on for over a week, and they didn't notice. She didn't notice. She'd been so caught up in the hunt and in the fact that Charlotte had to learn how to fight, she forgot the details. The details were her daughter, who she owed a massive apology to. They both did.

"We need to get home." She set a hand on his stomach as she passed by him. "Mika!"

"What's going on?" He caught her hand on his stomach and held it there, studying her.

"We need to explain to Charli what's going on with us before she makes the wrong assumption and thinks we're mad at her. We're not. We need to explain and apologize." She called out to Mika once more before the young woman appeared. "Let's go home."

"Oh, okay." She headed for the car. "What's going on? Are we all good now?"

"Not by a long shot, but there's someone more important who needs an apology and an explanation." Carol hurried over to the car and held her hands out to catch the keys from Daryl. "God, I hope Olivia isn't having a hard time dealing with her."

* * *

Charlotte Andrea Dixon had been pushed off from sitter to sitter so much in the past week that she had mastered vanishing on them. Beth was busy with Monroe and trying to deal with the water issue at her house to notice that Charlotte had been gone for thirty minutes. Denise and Tara were good, but they would get cute with each other and all kissy and forget. Michonne was impossible to get away from unless RJ or Judy were hurt then it was easy peasy. And Olivia? The easiest one to date.

She had been gone for hours now. She couldn't tell time all that well, but she knew the hands had moved a lot since she snuck out. Mommy had given her a broken watch to try and help her time tell. Daddy wanted her to just feel the time like he did, but that made no sense, so the watch way it was.

She had started this little adventure crying. She was devastated by her parents fighting all the time now, ignoring her and Mika just to bicker with each other. She had noticed the smile Mommy wore was fake when she talked to Daddy now. It hurt her chest—her heart—and it was her fault. They would look at her and bicker. They would whisper her name and argue. They would touch her clothes or her homework and fight. It was always connected to her. It was her fault.

So she had to take herself away from them so they could fix the problem, fix her. She didn't know how long that would take, but she would be fine on her own. She'd managed it before. She was a big girl now and knew big girl things. She could handle the world and herself. She had snacks stockpiled and coloring books all in her backpack. She just had to wait it out. They'd make up, and it'd all be good again. It would all be okay again.

She had started this adventure crying, and hours later in the middle of the woods, unsure of where she was, she was still crying, curled up at the hollow of a tree. It was close there and small, and it felt safe. She couldn't hear any walkers, and she felt miserable, but there was no fixing it when the problem was you.

She wailed inaudibly, hands balled up in her eyes, rocking herself, feeling terribly empty and utterly alone. She wanted her sister with her to hold her hand through their parents' arguments. She wanted her mom to smile at her like was the only thing that mattered. She wanted her dad to pick her up and rock her to sleep like he sometimes did when she was half asleep already. She wanted her family, but they didn't want her. Nobody noticed she was gone, had come to find her, so maybe the monsters weren't outside the walls; they were just her. She was the big, bad monster that nobody wanted to really deal with.

She fell asleep crying, curled up in the hollow of some random tree, the scent of dirt and leaves all around her. It was starting to rain outside. Well, rain was putting it lightly—as the child slept it began to outright downpour, knocking loose branches from trees, blowing leaves and lightly rotted bits of log about, covering any and all trails the child might have left.

* * *

Carol ran inside from the storm with Daryl close behind her, Mika had gone over to the Grimes' to avoid the rain, and Carol pulled her hair up, smiling at the sight of the little ones watching the storm from the inside window. She looked for her little one, but there was no coffee-hair little girl with bright blue eyes in a rainbow sleeved t-shirt and leggings.

"Hey, Liv?" Carol strolled into the kitchen as Olivia fixed lunch for the kids, and she smiled a greeting. "Is Charli taking a nap upstairs?"

"Charlotte?" Olivia's brows knitted together as she looked at Carol like she'd sprouted wings. "She...is… not upstairs."

"She's not in the living room, so where is she?" Carol tried not to let that look unsettle her, but she couldn't help it. "Olivia, where is my daughter?"

Panic course through Carol as the nauseous feeling returned, Daryl dragged himself away from the little ones who wanted to dog pile him, and he found Carol almost in tears. He approached them and discovered Olivia hadn't seen Charlotte for the last three hours. She was supposed to be working on telling time in the den, but that room was empty, and Olivia began to distracted watching the others, she'd forgotten to check on her.

"I am so sorry, Carol. I—I didn't think—" Olivia stammered. "She's so well-behaved. I thought I didn't have to worry about her."

"Where the hell is my daughter?" Carol demanded. "You—you lost her? Is that what you're telling me right now? You lost my six-year-old?"

"I—I—I am so sorry, Carol."

Daryl's mouth ran bone dry as his lips parted in heavy breathing, shaky and hot as he looked at Olivia and Carol, who was mirroring his reaction. They had finally done it. They had taken her from the safety of this home, and they were going to do to her whatever the fuck they had done with Emily. Their little girl was lost in a dark world with dark people, and they had no idea how long it'd been since she had been taken out of the house, out of this town, and likely no one had seen anything. She was lost, lost like Sophia, lost like Emily. Lost like they might not ever get her back. There was no way to approach this, because they had no information, no timeline. They had nothing, and as Carol ran out of the house into the storm, that was all she felt.

"Charlotte!"


	26. Seaside

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

* * *

Noah had settled into his home easily, loving every inch of the cute little cottage that could house a family of four. He wasn't sure a cottage was meant for that, but Beth and Abraham had done it. He adored the house, and so did his little girl, who he fell in love with more and more as they spent time together without a leaving date.

Though he had to leave to help search for Ila and her people, but they kept coming up empty. There was nothing they could do and nothing they could find. There was nothing. They looked high and low, under every branch, inside the hollow of tree, over every footprint in the mud. It was a mouse and cat chase, and they most definitely were not the cat in this situation. They were mice being held by the tail while the cat played with them before it ate them whole.

And now with Charlotte. She had been missing for twenty-four hours. Daryl and Carol were nowhere to be found inside the walls, Mika was distraught and ready to burn down the woods to find her and those asswads who had taken them, and Rick had sent word to Carl to stop the searches for Emily's kidnappers. Maggie would try and fight it, but they needed to reinforce the communities respectively and stop breaking them up into groups to search. It was the only course of action they could think to take right now. That—and searching for Charlotte.

The storm had washed her path clean, and there was nothing for their teams to search, but they still searched; and Daryl thought he might have found a snack wrapper trail, but it was a bust. It turned out to be from Carl and Enid's book reading days, and he almost cried, because it was the same snacks Charlotte had enjoyed.

He swallowed with difficult at that line of thought and realized then he wasn't alone. He looked over and saw it was Carol, stabbing a walker in the back of the head as it was drawing near him. He hadn't even seen it approach. He was so out of focus. What the hell was going on with him? He'd been find to search for missing people before. Honestly he only ever fell apart while chasing down Beth's kidnappers, but…he already was a broken mess prior to the kidnapping. Perhaps he'd become that mess once more.

"If she is lost to us now," Carol darkly remarked, "I'll slaughter every single one of those bastards."

"Caro—"

"Every. Single. One."

* * *

Deep in the woods and against orders to retreat to camp, the artist lurked in the trees, watching the lost little girl wander about. She knew Ila would want her to take the girl home, to ensure their investment was safe and sound to grow into the shoes she was meant to fill in a few short years, but she was curious about this one.

She watched her coil up in a ball in the hollow of a tree, sobbing again, and she knew something had to be done. She wanted to meet the child she had marked in a difference environment, be a savoir to the child, return her home and see her grow in those years. She could report other potentials, be an inside eye and perhaps play a part in breeding more potentials instead of hoping they stumbled upon children who fit the bill.

However she knew the answer would be a no. It wasn't ideal for them to mingle in the lives of the potentials, given how they were to be handled and processed. It might cause doubt among the believers, and that wasn't allowed after the first time it occurred. It caused such issues with the people, and it was in the bylaws by now.

So she would have to do a little swooping and poking to ensure the child survive to be that sweet, ripe age. The verge age. It was really when children became who they were meant to be. Truly. It was the best age to behold and to relinquish to Shah.

She climbed down the tree and approached the child on four legs, carefully minding twigs and branches that could snap and trigger the child. She crawled closer and closer and closer until she was only a breath away from the child, and she saw the crown was deeply infected. She frowned at her work being marred by white puss and insects. It was just as bad that the child had swollen eyes and wet clothes. What a waste to of a marker.

She touched the child to pick her up, a knife was stabbed into her hand and ripped out as the girl shot up and shoved by her. The artist cracked her neck to the side and growled, rising up to two feet and popping her knuckles before chasing after the child at top speed.

"Get back here!" she shouted.

"No! Mommy!" Charli ran at top speed. "Mommy!"

The wind stung at her cut, and it didn't happen that she had taken a bad fall and knocked her head yesterday evening. She was scared and couldn't find her way back, and there was nothing she could do about anything but try and survive with no knowledge on how to actually do that. She just had to keep running. She had to keep running.

"Aah!" A walker heard her calling for her mommy and stepped into her path, she tripped backwards and crawled away. "No, no, no."

The artist stopped chasing the child to see how the bless reacted to the marked, and she watched the beautiful creature reach down to feast. She bit her lip excitedly as mashing teeth came nearer and nearer to her face, the girl smacked into a tree, and it was over. She was done for.

"Hey!" A new voice entered the area, and the artist hide as a woman slashed open the head of the walker with a sledgehammer. She shoved the corpse aside and saw the child who can called for help. "Whoa Nelly." She dropped the hammer softly to the ground in a gesture of peace.

Charlotte couldn't help but cry as the stranger drew closer. She pulled her knife out, but she held her hands up and lowered herself down onto her knees in front of her, and Charlotte looked her over. She had long dreads and bright green eyes with freckles all over the place on her face. She was beautiful and looked like Michonne with those dreads, but she wasn't a black woman. She had that familiarity to her, and Charlotte wanted to beg her to take her home.

"Oh, my goodness." She saw the maggots wriggling in the wound on her brow, pus coming through on the curves of the crown, and it was swollen to high heaven. She needed antibiotics and the stitching redone. Whoever had taken her in had done a piss poor job of keeping an eye on her wound. Unless they did it and did a choppy patch job. Fuckasses. "Hey, it's all good now. I took care of that geek, and I'll take care of you."

"No, no, no." She kicked her feet to try and scramble back, but there was no more room with the tree there. "Mommy! MOMMY!"

"Shh, shh, it's all right. We'll find your mum." She smiled kindly at the girl. "Let me take you to my place, okay? It's super close by, and we can look for your mummy once you're all patched up."

"No, no! I want my mommy." She wailed now—loudly and uncontrollably.

"Shh, shh." She set a hand on the top of her head. "I'll bring you your mum. I promise." She picked the child up and discovered a blade on the ground beside her. She scooped it up, too, and hauled the child back to their makeshift tent a good twenty minutes away on foot. Ten if she ran, which she fucking did with a five-year-old in arms. She was an ex-fireman and could run just as fast with a child as she could alone, so she shaved that time down from twenty to ten to five minutes.

"Nellie!" She called out, opening the door to the gas station and setting the child down on the counter. "Nellie, now!"

"I told you not to call me that any…more." Nell entered the store and frowned at the wailing child on the counter. "Oh, my God." She ran over. "Another crown."

"Yeah, and it's super infected." She picked maggots out with nearby tweezers, moving quickly to try and counteract nature. "Get the alcohol and the first aid kit. And Mr. T."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

The couple prepped the area for first aid immediately, Charlotte began to calm when a glittery stuffed whale was presented to her, and she hugged it to her chest while the lady with dreads pulled and gagged at her brow. She still cried because it hurt, but Mommy told her to be hushed when someone was treating one of her wounds. They had to focus.

"Here, baby, drink this." She handed Charli a glass of water. "Just a couple sips."

Charli chugged the water down, but it burned her throat and tasted like disinfectant smelled. She coughed and spit it up, but enough was down her throat to make her feel funny. She didn't like it and wanted to know what was going on, but her tongue felt numb. She frowned and looked with concern at the woman treating her.

"It's all good. Promise." She smiled thoughtfully at her. "Just let it soak in, okay?"

The world went sideways as it "sank in", and Charli passed out. Theo quickly tended to her wound, pouring the disinfectant over her brow once the bugs and twigs were clean out of it and watching it fizz up like a soda pop. She frowned and continued to work on keeping the wound clean when the bubbles ran red, and the wound reopened entirely on her. It was going to be a long afternoon.

"Nellie?" She couldn't still her shaky hands. "Nell?!"

"Yes." She shot up from the floor and over to the counter, seeing her sister's shaky hands. "I'll do the stitching. Why don't you go get cleaned up? Prepare some food for this one."

"Thank you."

Nell stitched the wound while her sister cooked up some strawberry and peach soup, the child didn't rouse once during the stitching process, and it was a snap. She didn't know what in hell Theo had given her, but it was likely a spiked drink to knock her on her ass and calm her nerves. She wouldn't be up for a while, but it would take a while for the food to cook, because the milk wasn't in their belongings. The other group had the cold products, and they would be joining them eventually. They would have to radio them for a direct answer, but that wasn't necessary right now. What was, was how her sister came across this little girl.

"She was screamin' for her mum, so I stepped in." She rubbed a thumb under her nose. "I didn't find any signs of those assholes who keep markin' the kids, but I did find her. She might know something. She's the only living one we've found."

"That's true, but who can say if she can even speak to us. She might be in that cult, Theo. Why did you risk bringing her back? I know we rescue children, but not the crowned ones. You know what they mean to the Shah."

"The Shah can eat my asshole." She rose up off the floor. "We take her home with us. We come back once she's healed up to search for her home and for the mimic, but we don't abandon her. We aren't those kind of people."

Nell lowered her eyes. "Of course not, but Robin won't be happy about this."

"She can eat my asshole, too." It was said jokingly, and Nell chuckled with a shake of her head. "We protect the youth. It's what we do."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Radio Baltimore and see how long till they get done with their part of the mission. We need Dr. O to look over her. It's a long trip back to Seaside. We shouldn't make more stops than we have to."

"Yeah." Nell looked over at the child and paused. "She's well fed, Theodora. Are you sure we should take her? If her parents come after us thinking we did something to her, we're fucked. We can't afford to be fucked."

"We won't be. Her parents are dead or worse. To lose sight of a child that young they'd have to be." They likely were talked by people or by walkers and sent her on her way in hopes that she would survive. She shook her head. "She comes home with us. End of discussion."

"End of discussion," Nell repeated flatly. "Great. Another little one to look after. Like the fifteen at home aren't bad enough."

"You love 'em." She smirked at her, and Nell rolled her eyes and laughed. "They're our future."

"True enough." She looked over at the child once more. "Get her name?"

"I'll get it when she wakes up after seeing Doc O." She scratched her neck. "Kid'll be out for a long while. It'll make the trip back home easy."

"It's only ten or so hours away," she jested.

"Yeah, only ten or so." She flashed another winning smirk and sat down. "Time to bunker down till they report back in." She collected another sledgehammer from beside her and began to carve into the hilt, humming softly to herself as she did so. This kid would wake up in a whole new world, and it'd be the best world for her. Theo would make sure of that.

* * *

Charlotte roused to the sound of seagulls and children's laughter. She shot up instantly in a panic, breathing rapidly at the unknown surroundings, and she was in a dress that didn't belong to her. She looked herself over and found she'd been bathed, too, because she smelled of honey and clove. She frowned and heard the door open.

"Hey!" Theo danced into the room at the sight of her finally away. "Wow. I knocked you on your little ass. I am so sorry, honey." She laughed and hurried over to her bedside. "You look so good. I knew Doc O would help you."

"Who are you?" Charlotte demanded, moving away from the corner of the bed.

"Right, stranger danger. Umm, I'm Theodora. I am an ex-firefighter and current runner for the community of Seaside. I uh, I have a husband named Jack and three great kids. Um, they're adopted, because barren, but whatever." She watched confoundment cross the child's face. "I can't naturally have a child, like how your mom had you. I—I can't do that. My uterus hates me, always has."

"Your what?"

"Right, you're, like four."

"I'm six."

"Wow, you're a big girl then." She grinned at her. "I brought you lunch. It's with Jack just outside that door. I thought you'd like to see our people and get some fresh sea air."

"Sea?" Her eyes lit up instantly. "Like… like a beach?"

"Exactly like that." She nodded. "Do you want to have lunch with us? It's soup beans and cornbread. It's super tasty, and it'll get your strength back up."

She was torn. She wanted the food and to see a beach for the first time outside a picture and story, but she wanted her parents. She knew the beach couldn't be close to Alexandria. She knew the distance would hurt her mommy's heart, because Charli's heart was hurting, too. Her head, too, to be honest. It throbbed like a son of a gun, and it felt itchy, but she knew better than to scratch it. Denise would be so upset if she did that.

Though Denise wasn't here, and nobody would tell her what to do or how to act or how to be. She was her own person here, and Mommy and Daddy weren't arguing and being unhappy with her around. Maybe they were better off, and Charlotte missed them more than they missed her. Maybe it was just in her head, and Mommy didn't miss her, because she and Daddy were making up. They were all kissy in their room with the door locked like it'd been at times at the Kingdom. Maybe they were happier….

She just wasn't sure, but her tummy rumbled loudly, and the nice lady laughed and made a joke that make her giggle. She liked her a whole lot already. She had to be a good person. Charlotte was sure of it. She'd trust her to get her home when it hurt less.

"C'mere." Theodora held out her hand. "Come with me."

Charlotte accepted it and stood up. "I'm Charlotte, by the way."

"That's…a perfect name for you. You look like a Charlotte." She escorted her over the door and knelt down to help her into her boots. "Sand will get in between your toes and never leave them, so boots on."

"Oh, thank you."

"No problem, Charlotte." She grasped her hand once more and guided her outside where her husband was waiting at a picnic table. "That's Jack."

He was a pale man with long, black hair and brown eyes. He wore a loose t-shirt and jeans, a knife on his hip and a gun strapped to his back. He was meant to be on patrol, but Theo pulled some strings so they could treat their newest guest to lunch. After four days of sleeping, she had to be starving.

"Up we go." Theo helped her onto the bench and sat beside her. "I know you must be starvin', but I need you to take slow bites, okay? I don't need you to choke on us."

She nodded and accepted the spoon.

"Do you want the bread crumbled up in the soup?" Jack asked, having that for himself, and Charlotte nodded. "All right." He grasped her slice and crumbled it up for her into nice, small pieces.

"Jack, this is Charlotte, by the way." She winked at him as Charli tested out the food.

"It's lovely to meet you." He held his hand out, and she actually shook it. "Such manners. Your parents must be proud."

She lowered her eyes and silently sampled more of the soup beans. They were delicious. Her tummy was super empty and scrapping with hunger, but she'd given her word to not eat it quick. She was careful and slow and mannerly, just like Mommy had taught her.

As they ate, a warm and wet breeze blew over them. Charlotte looked out at the water and instantly wanted to jump in, but she didn't want to upset her stomach. She remembered the river last spring at the Kingdom after having dinner, and it'd be puke city. She didn't want to relive that. She'd wait it out and ask later. She had to go swimming in it just once before…

Before what, though? Before she told them about Alexandria? Before she told them about Mommy and Daddy and the arguing about her? Before she told them she had no idea how to get home from outside the walls? There were so many befores popping up, and it made her head spin and her eyes burn. She didn't like it. She wanted to be happy, happy like Theo, but she wasn't. She was sad and confused and lost. She had no idea when or if she'd see her home again, and it was only a matter of time before they started asking.

And what would she tell them? Mommy always said to keep their home hidden from bad people, that her gut would tell her which people were bad and couldn't be trusted. Her gut hadn't spoken to her just yet, but she hoped that when it did, it was a clear answer, because the entire world felt upside down and wrong. She wanted to be at home where it was safe, but here felt safe, too, and she felt okay to stay here. It felt strange, but Theo and Jack were so nice to her. She wanted to stay with them for a little bit longer, but if they asked…what would she say?

Theo noticed tears in Charlotte's blue eyes and frowned. "What's wrong?"

She snuffed and chewed slowly, her lips trembling as she did so.

"Hey, hey, don't cry." Jack rose from the table and knelt beside her, rubbing her back. "I know it's a big change, and it's scary, but you have nothing to worry about. We'll get you healthy and back in traveling shape then we'll get you home. If you want."

"You will?" She snuffed and swallowed.

"Of course we will." Theo nodded. "I'd like to meet your mom, ask her some questions."

"What kind of questions?"

"Simple ones about…how you got that mark. I… um, we found another kid with that mark."

"You did?"

"He's no longer with us."

"Where'd he go?"

Theo lowered her eyes and inhaled. "He was killed a couple months ago by…walkers." He walked right into them. He was seven years old and just walked right into a pit of walkers they kept on the outskirts of town as a line between the world and their hometown. He was instantly torn to pieces, and with no explanation Theo had no choice but to find the fuckers who marked him and demand to know what they told him, what they did to him and why. And if they didn't answer, she was going to kill them all for his loss.

"Emily, too," Charlotte commented. "The ones who marked me...took her from me."

"Emily? Is that your big sis?" Jack inquired, encouraging her to continue eating.

"No, but she was my best friend." She shoveled in another spoonful and tried to not to cry. "She's two years older than me. Well…she was."

"Sick bastards." Jack said this low, but Charlotte still heard it.

"I'll talk to Robin," Theo assured him. "Get us back in that area as soon as possible. Find her home and get to her people."

"My people?" Charlotte spoke up, and Theo nodded. "What… what if I don't have any people?"

"What about your mommy? You were hollerin' for her, so you gotta have her. She's people."

That was true. "Oh."

"Is she still alive, honey?"

She nodded. ""Course."

"Don't worry. We're not a threat to your parents as long as they're no threats to us." She stroked her hair. "Finish eating—slowly—and we'll show you around."

She nodded and happily devoured her meal, Theodora and Jack had an eye conversation around her, and they parted ways once the meal was finished. Theodora showed her around Seaside, and it was massive. Charlotte could hardly recall everything Theodora was saying to her, but she was taken with the community. It was bewitching. There was a training class on the beach filled with adults and children alike. They were using staffs and spears, and it was like the training scene from Mulan when they were all in roles, huhing and haing, and it was so cool. Charlotte saw kids her age in the class at the back, and they had a special instructor who was slowing down the defensive moves for the kids.

"We teach our children how to defend," Theodora informed the child at her interest. "We don't raise killers or child soldiers. We raise survivors. They know how to kill walkers and incapacitate an adult. We can teach you, too, if you'd like."

"Uh-huh."

"Tomorrow morning. I'll set something up with Nyla." She set a hand on her shoulder and continued onward with the tour.

They had a massive greenhouse where their crops were housed, and it was all working on some kinda water power. She didn't remember the word Theodora had used, but they had built it themselves. It took two years to scrounge up the parts, but it worked perfectly with a few kinks to iron out once a month or so. Other than that, they were entire self-sufficient.

They had livestock as well, and Charlotte gushed over the ponies and cows and chickens. She even saw a couple baby goats and jumped up and down to try and get a better view. They kept the fence high to keep walkers out, so Theo picked her up to show her. It was beautiful and smelled terrible, but that was just how animals were, Theodora explained. They had cleaners who came in and cleaned up the mess daily, but there was a lot of commotion currently, so chores were delayed. She told Charli if she wanted to stay, she could come and feed the baby goats now and then.

"I could?" Her eyes rounded to milk saucers. "I'd love to!"

"Then I will add you to the chore wheel." She smiled and tussled her hair. "Come along. We have more to see."

She was shown the entirety of Seaside, meeting all of its people and seeing all of its perks. They had a huge supply of cars and gasoline. They had a blacksmith, whatever that was, and they had so many homes. They were made like huts but super cool and livable as Theo described. They had RV and mobile homes around them like walls, and people lived in them based on how long they had been in Seaside and what services they provided.

Like take Theo and Jack. They had founded it with Robin, Nell, Baltimore and a sixth person who wasn't with them anymore five years back. They went through some difficult times, losing people who joined them and being betrayed by people who pretended to join them. Nevertheless, they made it through and were over a hundred people strong. And that allowed Jack and Theo to pick a large RV as their home on the first layer of "walls". They were right there for any danger that arrived, ready and able to protect their home. It was very like home to Charlotte. She liked it a whole lot already, and she felt her gut telling her to trust them. It felt right.

"But that's for another time. I should get you back the hospital." She turned them around and steered them back towards the hospital. "You need rest for tomorrow. It's going to be a big day of training and learning. I hope you're ready for it."

"I am." She nodded her head. "Promise."

She grinned. "Good. Bring your A game, kiddo. You're gonna need it."

She dropped her off at the hospital, Doc O was there and looked her over, checking her over and giving her a cup of juice. He was a kind older man, and he looked at her like Daddy looked at her. It made her feel safe, and he assured her she was healing properly this time. She didn't know what that meant, but it made him happy, so she went with it.

She chewed on the straw to the juice box she'd been given, waiting for a moment to tell him about home, but he kept chatting her up about her injuries and how she was lucky they found her. She told him how she fell and got the bugs in her cut, and he frowned at the lack of supervision. He said he didn't want her going back to that hellhole she came from, and she told him not to use that language in front of her. He laughed and apologized and offered her halved tablet for her head. It was aching, so she accepted it and drank it down with the juice.

"Good girl." He stroked her hair. "Just lie down, and you'll feel even better in the morning."

"How long am I gonna be here?" She handed him the empty box of juice and lied down on the full-sized mattress.

"As long as you want."

"Not forever, just till I'm not a burden."

"A burden?" His lips drew a line. "What do you mean, honey?"

She swallowed and lied down. "Just till I can fight."

He nodded and remembered her belt. "Oh, here. I thought you might like this back." He'd cleaned the blade and noticed the engravement on it. It meant "more than my own life". Someone loved her that much. He hoped that meant they were good people, but the world was difficult to read. It could just be a found knife. He hoped not. She was a thoughtful, brilliant and well-behaved little girl. The world was lucky to have her, and they were happy to have her. For as long as she needed or wanted. This world was too cruel to children, and he'd rather she stay here where she can grow rather than venture out in some blind hope of finding her old home. If anyone could convince her, it was Theodora. It was how she ended up with three kids instead of puppies like her sister.

"Good night, Charlotte."

"Um, night."

Bright and early Charlotte was roused for her first training lesson, and she changed into the outfit Theodora had left out for her, shoving her feet into her boots and running out to meet Nyla. She was excited to get started, but Nyla said they had to find an inner calm first. So, they walked outside towards the water and removed their shoes to stand in the waves.

She was instantly knocked back by the water, Nyla helped her up and told her to find an inner balance. Charlotte tried, but she fell on her butt again and was coughing up water. She hated it. She tried ten more times to find an outer balance at all, but she kept being swept away. She could see the other kids were managing just find on their own, but she was too small, too light. She couldn't do it. She wanted to cry and go home. She wanted her mom and her dad and Mika. She wanted to go right now.

"Okay." Nyla dropped down into the sand and held Charlotte through the thrashing of the next wave. "Plant you feet. Dig in your heels." She parted her legs in the sand and held her planted feet. "Good. Good. Hold tight."

"To what?"

"Yourself, silly." She chuckled and removed her hands.

"No, don't."

The next wave came and only tripped her up, Nyla clapped and cheered for her, and Charlotte blinked, stunned she had been able to withstand the pounding of the wave. They went again and again and again and again until she was able to stand there and take the wave without moving an inch. It was such a challenge, and Charlotte could hear the other kids were already on warm ups and getting their staffs. She felt lousy, but Nyla told her she was doing great.

"All right. Let's get you a staff." She measured her with her arms and plucked a staff from the barrel. "Here you are. This should suit you well."

"Thank you." She accepted the light staff and wondered why it was weightless.

"We begin with form." Nyla clapped her hands to get Charlotte's attention. "Plant your feet, legs apart, eyes forward. Withstand the wave. Keep a grip on the staff."

She did as instructed, though holding onto a wet staff wasn't easy, and she had to chase it down from the shore a couple ten times, and Nyla giggled at her efforts, clapping her hands to signal a restart. She would learn this. She would become strong and reliable. She would be a daughter her parents wouldn't fight about all the time. She would be a warrior. Just like them. She just had to practice.

"One more," Nyla commanded. "Plant those feet. Legs apart. Hold onto the staff. Stand tall."

She could do this. She had to do this. No more crying, no more being a coward who let her friends get taken. No more. She was going to be like Mommy and Daddy and Mika. She wouldn't be worthless anymore. She could do that. She could.

* * *

But as days went by, her chest only began to hurt even more, and she began to cry at night. Her wounds were healing. Her skills were improving. Her heart was breaking. There was no way back home from here she was starting to realize, and that breaking heart? It broke.


	27. As Best We Can

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

**Day One**

Carol grabbed a backpack from the stock room, filling it with anything that could survive without needing to be kept on ice or kept hold, taking the bottles of water from Emily's search and cramming them into a backpack. She grabbed a silencer from the shelf and a box of bullets. She grabbed arrows and bolts from their resting place. She grabbed everything relevant and then some.

Denise ransacked the clinic, grabbing items she would need to tend to the wound on Charlotte's brow, taking needles for morphine in case it was infected and the pain was too much for her to handle. She did this with Tara and Rick's eyes on her, telling her to slow down and tell them her plan, but she didn't listen. There was no real plan. There was only action and inaction at this point, and she wasn't going to stand around and wait. Not for Charlotte. Not for a kid who was practically her daughter, too.

Daryl told Mika to pack a bag, that she was going to be staying with the Grimes' for a short while as he crammed in a few needed items from his closet into Carol's last pack. He told her he loved her and trusted her to be out there with them, but the world had not been kind to them. they could not close their oldest in pursuit of their youngest. They simply could not, so they wouldn't have that option on the menu.

Mika understood and packed a bag, but it wasn't a bag for staying with the Grimes'. She knew the risks of this world and by God she was going to brave them to find her little sister. It was in the rule book of her personal code that if anybody she loved went missing, she'd die to bring them home. She'd bring them home. Regardless of what Dad and Mom wanted. It was her little sister, her family, and she wasn't going to stand by and let them die like she had with Lizzie. Never again would she sit back and let anything happen to anybody she loved ever again.

About an hour later an RV pulled up to the gates to be allowed inside, Nina was inside of it with Abraham, and coming out was an RV given by the Kingdom to find Charlotte. It was top of the line with a radio system built inside of its normal radio, and they could keep coms up among Hilltop, Kingdom and Alexandra. It was all they could offer as their lives warped into this new reality, and Carol thanked Ezekiel personally when Jerry and he delivered it in such a short time frame.

Henry tried to talk Mika out of going with them, but she assured him she wasn't. She said this while walking towards the gate with a backpack. He grabbed the handle to the backpack to stop her. She whirled around and told him to  _never_  do that again and to back off. If it was his brother out there, if he had a chance to save him, he would have been out of that gate two hours ago. He offered his support, and she thanked him with a soft kiss but said no. She was going with her dad, whether he liked it or not, and Henry was more than welcome to stay till they returned, but she didn't know honestly if they would.

Finding her, not finding her. She wasn't positive they could return to this town afterward. Perhaps returning to the grove was more likely. Someplace safe and isolated. It might be the best place to raise Charlotte in this world, or…it might be a good place to bury her.

The four humans loaded onto the RV—Mika had been caught trying to climb over the gate by Daryl, landing beside an almost invisible and unnoticed space between the wall and the ground where Charlotte had originally slipped through—and began their hunt. It started in silence, and Mika feared it might end in silence as well.

The RV was parted five miles away from Alexandria, hidden by three branches and by camo paint. Daryl and Mika headed out without a word to Carol and Denise, and the pair shortly departed. They were going forward while Daryl and Mika went back. It was unspoken but known. Like a lot of things seemed to be during this hunt. It wasn't even a rescue mission; it was a hunting trip and anything that moved covered in dirt or dreads would be shot first and dealt with later. That was the face Ila's people had brought out in four warm-hearted people. There would be no mercy until Charlotte was returned. No mercy, no quarter, no hostages. Nothing until the child was recovered then maybe. Maybe but unlikely.

Daryl had brought one of Leo's pups with them after requesting one from Jerry, and he let him sniff out Charlotte's pajama shirt. Mika stood nearby with her fingers laced together in front of her, blue eyes empty and alert, and all he saw a child soldier in here, not the happy young girl he'd raised since she was ten. As a warrior and hunter, he respected her resolve, but the father inside of him hated her expression—blank, ready to take any action to survive and rescue. It was an expression she had picked up from Carol during the search for Emily, and it sickened him.

The pup seemed to find her trial and took off like a shot from a cannon, Daryl went after him with Mika on his heels, and he prayed to God if this trail led them to her that she was okay. A little bruised, a little teary-eyed and scared, but okay. Not a body, not…a walker, but alive and okay. He'd take just okay. Fuck, he'd sell his very soul and limbs to ensure a simple OK.

Pepper barked and picked up the scent of a walker, Daryl pulled his crossbow from his back, but he watched Mika grab the front of its shirt and stab it clean through the head without even blinking. She let it fall to the ground and instructed Pepper to continue in his search, and Daryl realized it wasn't just the missing daughter he could potentially lose forever.

What world was this that every Dixon either born and/or joined was not allowed to have a good, happy childhood?

* * *

**Day Three**

Carol carved the flesh off an apple during a break for food, Denise was munching numbly on an oat cake, and they listened to the sky kicked up a fit of thunder. Lightening flashed in the dry heat, and Carol could only take that moment to revel in the chaos of the sky. She wasn't the only one dryly screaming out onto the heat and waiting for something to follow up besides the typical response of anger and nausea.

Her mind was weak and betrayed her. It played scenes of what could have happened to her little girl. She could have willing wandered outside the gate, unlucky enough to avoid each person on watch and on patrol. She could have easily gotten turned around the in the woods, looking for either her parents or her beloved friend. Because she stayed so she could go, and she might have gone all on her own, because she was impatient and highly empathic. She could likely feel the fear Emily was casting off somewhere in the dark places in the woods with the dark people of the Shah, and she was following emotion, not logic.

And she was ending up in the arms of the Shah, of Ila. She was going to be used and abused for whatever in hell sick ritual they had planned to use her for. Her little body beaten down and bruised, lips swollen, teeth bloodied. Eyes wide in a sunken in face as she starved and cried for them to let her go, for her parents, for her big sister, for some understanding as to why this was happening to her at all. She was just a little girl, and they would break her bones and take her life like she had barely gotten to experience it.

Carol shook her head and tried not to think about the men of this world, the ones who prayed on young girls and could make her daughter their victim. She couldn't imagine her little girl being pinned down, smacked around, pawed at her…. Raped because of some sick son of a bitch who wanted power, or who wanted to feel something other than fear of this world. Or who simply had a darkness in his heart and used it to darken Charlotte in very possible way.

It wasn't healthy to keep these obsessive thoughts close to her heart, but she used them like armor, for protection since her own armor had failed her. A dark shield against the world of man and walkers, and it wasn't was though she was pulling this out of her ass. She was pulling this from experience. From men like Ed she had known her entire life. From people who took and stole and kept what wasn't theirs. People who would die like dog the very moment Carol saw them.

**Day Five**

Carol had found Charlotte's backpack in the hallow of a tree, curling up in the small space and holding onto the cloth pack. She found it semi-full of snacks and water, and she couldn't help but cry. This confirmed what Carol had suspected, and it shattered her heart into a million tiny pieces.

"She left on purpose." Denise was the one to say it, crouching down to console Carol. "I'm so sorry."

"What have I done?" Carol brought a trembling hand up to her mouth, whimpering high in her throat. "What did I do, Denise? What did I do?"

She grasped her hand from her mouth and held it to her chest. "You don't know what caused this. You don't know what is going through her head or how her mental state is since Emily was taken. You just don't know." She smiled lovingly at her best friend. "We will get her back."

"How? We don't know where she is or how long she's been gone. Beyond the days we already confirmed her gone…." Carol shook her head and whined. "She's my baby. S—she's my baby. I need her back."

"And we will get her back. I swear to you." Carol searched her eyes, a resolve there. "I swear to you."

**Day Eight**

Daryl checked off another area from the map, scratching at his chin and looking over the area Mika was in charge of for the past forty-eight hour and brought the walkie up to his chapped lips. He waited a moment, knowing that if she had found her, this walkie would have been blown up by now, but it was worth a shot.

"Mika, you there?"

_"Yeah, I'm here."_

"Anything?"

_"Well, yeah, I found some canned goods and a pet I don't think Mom is going to like, but nothing on Charlotte. Henry and I will haul our load back home then do one final sweep. We'll meet you at the hollow tree with Mom afterward?"_

"Yeah, that sounds good." He clipped the walkie back onto his belt and continued onward, seeing a path of walkers. They were all finished with their faces bashed in with something large and heavy. "What the hell?"

He hurried down the trail of dead walkers and came to an opening just before a gas station where a sledgehammer was resting against the side of the building. He frowned and noticed the sledgehammer handle had been carved in. It was marked as Theodora, but there was no one in the area at all alive. There was just an abandoned station and no sign of Charlotte.

He heaved a sigh of full of disappointment that it smacked him back in the face and choked him. He stopped and decided to look the area over. The was no point in avoiding it. She might have come through here, ran into this Theodora and…maybe… maybe… she helped her, brought her somewhere good. Somewhere safe. Feed her and kept her scar clean. Kept her clean and alive and—and maybe… maybe it wasn't all statistics.

Or maybe this Theodora was another part of this Shah, another arm in the murk pulling his daughter away from him forever. Even though she ran on her own that didn't mean they were right there to snatch her away from the hollow of that tree. That didn't mean they weren't a shadow on her. It only meant she made a decision, and someone else stepped in and took her away. Away from the woods, away from maybe this station, away from her loving parents who were so very sorry for making her leave in the first place.

Yet more likely it was just someone sick and perverted, like that asshole claimers, who saw a little girl in the woods, likely crying and made her worse. They probably broke her down and kill the sweet girl Daryl and Carol had raised. She was already so small for her age, and now she was probably a small, tiny body, all alone somewhere, barely breathing, barely moving. Alone.

His lips trembled as a sob coursed through him, and he wanted to die. He wanted to trade placed with her right now and protect her from anyone who might hurt her. That was his job, after all. He was her father, and he was meant to protect and to raise and to shelter. He was meant to fill shoes he had never even seen before, never even consider himself wearing, let alone had an example of. He was just…floundering, and it was his fault. He was so angry, and she misunderstood. It was his fault, and he might have lost the love of his life forever, because of that anger. And he hated himself for it.

He searched the gas station but found little but an empty bottle of vodka and blood. Dried blood that was washed partly away, and it was on the counter, too high for Charlotte. Unless she was lying down on it. But she couldn't get up there alone. Not without help. And help was so rare in this world. Not all communities were the Kingdom or Hilltop. Not all people were Paul or Ezekiel. He would count his blessings next time.

He fingered the sledgehammer and collected it on his way back to the meet up point. Better than going empty-handed and seeing Carol's empty eyes.

**Day Twelve**

Denise drank water from the bottle Carol had just handed her, looking over the sledgehammer once more, and she gasped at the engravement made just below Theodora. She hadn't noticed it among the other carvings and names and places, but it was there. Markered into the carved name—CD. It was the newest marking on the handle, and it wasn't confirmation of anything, but it was something. It was something.

"Carol, hey, look at…." She trailed off at Carol holding up one of Charlotte's old dresses filled with cotton and given a bear-knitted head. Her project for the last two weeks just about, and it was finally completed. It was a gift, an apology and an I love all in one. Denise hoped Charlotte got to see it.

"I finished it last night." She cleared her throat. "It uh, it smells like her, you know?"

"I'll bet. She loved that dress."

"Yeah." She smiled to herself, though her entire world was falling apart. Her daughter was missing. Her partner couldn't stand to be in the same room with her for more than minutes, less if they were actually alone, and her daughter… her sweet Mika was becoming so hard. She was losing her sweetness, and there was nothing Carol could do it stop it.

And what could she say? The world was cold and calculating, and it had taken Lizzie. It had taken Hershel. It had taken Sophia. It had taken her home and Carol's so many times. It took and took and devoured and hungered for so much more than surely its stomach could hold. And now it had come and taken Charlotte after a mistake of running away.

Or was it a mistake? Were they so caught up in the threat of the Shah and of what happened with Emily and their constant fight that they lost sight of their child? Were they the reason? Was she the reason? She let her emotions and her logic drown out that beautiful angel standing beside her. It had to have been something in that mess, and that made it her fault. She didn't see. She didn't know. And Charli left. And for what?

Carol inhaled deeply and shook her head, loose hair falling into her face. "We'll never recovered from this." She tucked the bear into her bag and then hair behind her ear.

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't know it—I feel it." She lifted her eyes to Denise's. "And I won't survive losing her."

"You're not going to lose her. Look at this." She pointed to the CD. "These are hers. I know it. I know this Theodora has something to do with her being gone. And judging by the personality on this sledgehammer, she's a good person. She won't hurt our girl."

"It's a weapon, Denise. A massive weapon that only bashes in faces of people and walkers at a close range. She enjoys the fighting and the violence of close range, so I doubt it."

"That's one hell of an assumption."

"Well, if it makes me an ass, I'll apologize."

* * *

The sun was rising over the fields, Carol sat outside on the ground, listening the morning animals and the walkers that were nearing her with every passing minute. She couldn't recall how long she'd been out there, but she knew it'd been all night. She hadn't slept in weeks, and she didn't expect to start now. She was misery in every sense of the word, and she could cuddle Mika so long before she wanted to cry, because these moments felt impossible to have with Charlotte.

She pulled her legs up to her chest as a walker entered her line of sight, but still she stood with long wavy hair down her back, her bow beside her, and she didn't move. She tilted her head to the wide as the walker drew nearer and nearer, stumbling and groaning and staring at her with those milky eyes.

She closed her own eyes and exhaled deeply, feeling it now as it approached, and she reached to pick up her bow when a wet spat came. She felt it splatter lightly across her shoes, and she opened her eyes as a bolt when through the back of its head.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Daryl demanded, having followed her out here hours ago out of curiosity and now only burned with frothing rage at the sight of her not fighting a walker. This one walker who crept closer and closer, almost like a challenge of stupidity.

"I am trying to stay in one, whole piece," Carol answered honestly. "I am trying to keep sane."

"By playin' with walkers?"

"By watching that sunrise and trying to pray that our daughter sees it too." She gripped her knees to her chest and exhaled shakily. "It hurts to live, Daryl. I know you feel it, too."

"Of course I do, but we can't give up. She's our little girl. We have… we just have to keep faith." He thought of Beth after losing her dad and sister as she had, how she kept strong and stable, how she made a goal and stuck to it. She was just a child then, so he had to do the same now as an adult. Find a goal and keep to it. It was all he could do anymore. Focus, like a shark and never stop moving. Or he'd die.

"I can't…just search and re-search the same old stretch of land for clues we aren't going to find. It's just like with Emily. These people are too good. The storm washed everything clean. We have nothing to go off of. Our… our little girl is probably…" She dropped off and stared ahead at the sunrise.

"Don't even think that." He gently grabbed her arm and helped her up, shaking her to try and get her attention, but her eyes were glued to the sunset. He looked to see what was so damn special about it when a woman and a child approached, their face hidden by the lack of morning light.

"Daryl…oh, my God."

There she was, a picture of glowing health, possibly a couple inches taller, standing only a yard or less away. She was just as beautiful as the last time Carol had seen her, hair braided back, so her face was exposed, that damned crown included. But it didn't matter, because she was right there, alive, staring back at Carol like no time at all had passed, looking forward joyfully, holding the hand of a total stranger to them.

"Mommy!" Charlotte let go of the hand of the stranger and ran over to her at top speed. "Daddy!"

"Charlotte." Carol ran to meet her and scooped her up into her arms, holding the back of her head and weeping. She was overwhelmed with emotions as they rolled up in her stomach and blissfully fluttered throughout her entire body. Relief and love in equal meaures in its purest form. God, she was so thankful to this woman, to her daughter for surviving, to God, to anyone who played a hand in keeping her daughter alive and returning her home. She didn't care about the details. She only cared her daughter was in her arms, warm, weighted and smiling. She was a smiling. Thank God. Thank you, stranger. Thank you whoever. Just thank you. "Oh, my baby."

"Mommy, I missed you so much." She dug her hands in to her mom's shoulder blades and kissed her wet cheek. "I'm so glad I'm home, and I got good news: I can fight now. It's okay."

Daryl stood numb away from them, basking in the sight of the woman he loved with his little girl, and he tried to move, tried to feel, but nothing came as his eyes burned and spilled over. He was beyond thankful, beyond grateful, beyond emotion, sense and movements. He was a wreck, but the kind of euphoric wreck of waves crashing against rock. An image of beauty and nature, sound and sense. Perfection. If that made any kind of sense, he would be surprised, because his mind was dead from the shock.

"What do you mean, you can fight? That it's okay now?" Carol rocked her against her body tightly and kissed her little cheeks, taking in her gorgeous round face and seeing her wound was healing up nicely. It was a little bigger than she remembered, the lines not so neat, but Carol didn't want to consider what could have done that.

"You and Daddy don't have to be mad anymore. I learned how to protect myself. It's okay now." She was grinning at her proudly. "I'll show you."

"What?" Carol set her down and dropped to her knees to look her over more, seeing her hair braided back with a blue ribbon, seeing she wore an entirely different outfit than what she'd left in. Even her shoes were different. Her attitude and aura were lighter, more confident. "Baby, what happened? Who is that woman?"

"Theo. She saved me, Mommy." She grinned back at the woman wielding a sledgehammer and backpack with a small staff poking out of it, and Carol eyes drank her in to read her. "She brought me home."

Carol rose as the woman closed the space between them, dropping the sledgehammer to let it steady itself beside Charli, and she held her hand out. Carol eyed her for a moment longer before accepting her hand and thanking her for everything she'd done for her daughter, asking her how she'd found her daughter in the first place. She didn't mean to sound as harsh as she did, but she had to be cautious of people in this world.

"Little one was about to be eaten by a geek, but I heard her screaming. I was nearby, looking for…someone, and I found your daughter instead." She smiled and mussed Charlotte's hair with her free hand. "Lady luck, right here."

"And who are you?"

"Theodora Palmer." She released her hand and flashed a winning grin at her. "You…uh, you might want to check on your man."

Carol looked back as Daryl crumbled to the ground. "Oh, my God, Daryl."

"Daddy?" Charli ran over to him. "Daddy!"

He landed on his ass and shifted his legs to be in front of him, Charlotte pushed them apart to be stand between his thighs, and she clasped his cheeks, trying to see if he was okay, but he was weeping, too, just like Mommy. She didn't understand and asked what was wrong, but he scooped her up into his arms and held her tight to his chest, kissing her shoulder and her hair and laughing softly now at her ear.

"You're really home." His voice was raspy, like he was speaking through cotton, like when he told scary stores, but the emotion was shifted from inciting spooks to sweet relief.

"Yeah, she's home." Theodora approached them with her hammer and smiled a greeting to the man. "I found this place about a week ago and had to find you guys to make sure you were the right people. It was a mess. You have so many people and nobody ever comes out." She laughed as though it were a joke, but her blood ran cold when Carol's eyes sliced into hers.

"W—what did you just say?" Carol commanded, closing the space between them to get into her face. Anguished rage coursed through her as those words bounced around in her head. "You've known about us for a week? And instead of coming to the gate to ask, you let us suffer? You let me wonder if my child was even alive for almost a month!"

"Hey, I don't know you people from Adam. How the hell was I supposed to know you were good people? You have gates and guns, and that's all I knew. I had to protect her like she was mine, and I would never have sent one of mine through those gates without knowing exactly what is on the other side of it!" She spat this at Carol. "You should be grateful. I did a mother's job. What the fuck were you doing?"

"Mommy, no!" Charlotte shouted when Carol punched Theo right in the jaw, and she couldn't intervene with Daddy holding her so tight. "Stop it! Don't hurt her!"

Carol flinched and decided to listen to her daughter for once. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. Thank you for returning my daughter to us, but…how did you know it was us she needed to be returned to?"

"She carried a picture of you, him and your other daughter." She cracked her jaw and found blood on her lip, smirking as she licked it off and removed the backpack. "Here. Her weapon, clothes and shoes are in here."

"Weapon?" Carol pulled the staff out of the backpack and discovered it was a good height and weight for a child of Charlotte's age. It was easy to wield, sharp and most importantly, it was strong. It couldn't be snapped as easy as bending it over a knee. Carol twirled it and found it unlike the spears Hilltop provided but useful. It would serve Charli well. "Thank you, Theodora."

She offered a nod of her head with a smirk. "It's what I do."

"How did you find her?" Daryl finally managed to ask through the snot and the tears.

"Oh, right. I…um, Well, I'm huntin' a group of people, and I was in the area. I heard her crying, and a lame brain was too close to eatin' her, so I stepped in. I took her home and tended to her wounds. Had a friend train her how to fight while we healed with us, and here we are." She paused and confessed, "I really only saved her, because of her mark and her bein' a kid. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true."

"Her mark? You've seen it before?"

She nodded. "On my son. He was seven, and he'd had the mark for three years. I… I don't know what it means, but I am trying to find out."

"It means the Shah are coming for our children," Carol commented. "They wanted our girl and your boy for something, and they will stop at nothing to get them."

"The Shah? You know of them, too?" Theo closed the space between them. "Tell me everything you know."

Carol agreed to that, but she wanted to know who the hell Theodora was and what she stood for. They invited her into Alexandria and to Maggie's office to hold this discussion. Charlotte refused to leave her parents' side after two weeks apart; so Daryl held her on his lap, arms around her waist on Maggie's couch as Theo explained Seaside and their connection to the Shah.

She told them that the Shah had always been lurking since the majority of their community are children, and they always picked out a certain type and lured them away. They had warned the children over and over to keep a distance from them, but somehow, they still managed to get the children and have their defenses lowered and trust invoked. It made no sense, but they had lost a child or two ever six months or so. She wasn't even positive what the hell for, but she knew it wasn't going to stop. They were going to continue this sick game until they were stated, or more likely until all the kids who they wanted were dead.

She explained that Seaside had no military support. They had no guns. They had staffs and shields, but they had nothing to do with guns. It wasn't for some rule against guns. It was entirely due to the fact that guns were possible to come by, and they ran out of bullets and became worthless. It was easier to harvest good, sturdy wood than it was to send people out to find bullets that may or may not work with the guns they had. Also Theo wasn't a gun person, so it was worthless to even go there. She'd rather fight hand-to-hand, woman to woman, or woman to man. It didn't matter. It was a more honorable way to fight.

"Okay." Maggie nodded. "Y'all need guns then?"

"No. We're good with what we have. Our long range weapons are bows. Guns…aren't what we want. We want to put an end to the Shah." Theodora paced the length of the couch. "We can just team up for this, and then go our separate ways."

"There are other ways we can help each other," Maggie suggested. "We have food, crops—"

"So do we. Look at the little girl. She's put on a couple pounds thanks to our food. She loves soup beans, by the way." She winked at Charlotte and turned back to the adults. "I will work with you, my sister and husband, too, but that's all we can spare."

"Three people?" Maggie scoffed. "You expect us to join with y'all when all you provide are three people? No guns, just bows and spears."

"And Roxi." She lifted up her sledgehammer. "She packs a punch. You'd be surprised what this does to a geek's face."

"Wonderful." Maggie leaned against her desk and shook her head. "I can't help you."

Theodora smirked and clicked her tongue against her teeth. "You people don't know what you're up against, and you got kids runnin' loose outside these walls! You might as well just put a bullet between her eyes to spare her…." She cut off and scoffed. "Look, I don't need your help. I only wanted it. I can hunt them down myself."

"To spare her what?" Carol stood up and met her eyes. "What do they do to the children?"

Theodora inhaled deeply and shook her head. "We have no deal, so I don't see the point of sharing information. I dropped the kid off. I'll be on my way."

"Wait, Theodora."

"Nope." She grabbed Roxi and headed out the door.

"Theo, wait." Charli wormed off her dad's lap and ran after Theo, Carol and Daryl following behind her, and the trio caught Theo on the stairs. "Thank you."

She smiled softly at her. "Stay safe, sweet pea. If you need me, just remember Finite."

She nodded. "Okay."

Theo looked from Daryl to Carol and then padded down the stairs and strolled out of the house. She adjusted the sledgehammer in her hand, pulling the strap from the small crack she'd made in it and tossing it carefully over her shoulder. She looked back at the people of this town and scoffed, heading out to meet Nell and Jack. They had yet another mission to complete alone. Big fucking shock.

Inside Carol lowered herself down in front of her daughter and grasped her hands in her right hand, smiling at her with tears in her eyes and stroking her hair with her free hand and brushing her thumb against her cheek. She couldn't stop touching her daughter and ensuring this was real. She'd dreamed of this moment so many times, she was scared it'd just become vivid, but no. No, this was reality. Her little girl was right here before her.

"Why did you leave?" Carol's voice cracked at the question, and she shuddered. "Why did you do that?"

"And how?" Daryl knelt down beside them. "How did you get out?"

"Through the hole under the gate." She looked from one parent to the to her and frowned. "You kept yelling about me. I'm sorry I was a problem."

"What? No, no, no." Daryl caught her cheeks in his hands and shook his head. "No, baby, you aren't a problem. You were never a problem."

She whimpered as tears shimmered in her eyes. "But you kept fighting about me. How was it not my fault?" Her chest heaved as her lips parted in a sob.

"We were just fighting in general. It wasn't… It was not your fault." Carol squeezed her hands and pulled her closer. "We love you. We love you so much."

"I love you, too. I missed you so much." She broke out into full-on sobs now, Daryl removed his hands when he couldn't wipe the tears away fast enough, and she threw herself at her mom. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to help."

"You help by staying with us." Daryl patted her back and kissed the back of her head. "You help by stayin' in these walls."

"Charli!"

Carol looked down as Mika ran up the stairs at top speed, tripping a couple of times, but she didn't seem to care. She made it up them about a minute later and collapsed beside them, wrapping her arms around Carol and Charlotte both, whispering "Thank God" as she panted.

Daryl looked over the three most important woman in his life before he jumped over the space between Carol and the wall, padding down the stairs and running after Theo. He spotted her talking to Nina and was ever so grateful that girl was born to talk and make friends. He jogged over, Theo looked him over and was about to leave, but he was faster and blocked her retreat.

"Hey, I needa talk to you."

"Why?" She gripped the strap to her weapon and sized him up. "It clearly is all about what I can do for you, so why should I stand here and listen?"

"This is about what we can do for our communities," Daryl corrected. "For your kid and mine. That's all that matters against these fuckers."

Theodora's lips curled into a mischievous grin. "I like how it sounds. Walk with me. Maybe I show you something new."

He looked back at Maggie's house and nodded. "Lead the way."

Nina jolted and held out her bow. "Here. You don't have yours."

He'd left it on the floor beside the couch, and he accepted it and the quiver with a thank you, and she nodded. He told her to give Carol a message and headed out the gate with Theodora. She shot a glance back over her shoulder to the woman she had just met and turned to walk backwards to shoot Nina a heart made with her hands, finishing it with a wink and escorting Daryl away from his home towards her.


	28. Vow

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Carol rocked Charlotte to sleep in her arms, Mika long passed out on the bed, and Carol wondered when Daryl would be back. She hated not having her family whole, but she trusted him. He would make it back to them in his own time. Perhaps even in time for the wedding.

* * *

Daryl walked Seaside with Theodora the next morning, going over the plans to build protection on the outer layer of RVs with Jack and Robin. They had been talking all morning about how improve the safety of the community, and Daryl suggested trading melons for construction services. He would have Abraham and co out here within the week, and Robin seemed to want to consider having a relationship with Alexandria, but nothing was set in stone.

Theo was a good person, Daryl decided. A bit overfriendly and a flirt, but she was all around a good person. She loved her husband and their kids. She loved her community and told him she'd die to protect it. She was serious, and he respected her. In just one day, she had his respect, but his truth was another issue. He highly doubted she would stab him in the back or anything, but he still kept a guard up. Better to safe than sorry.

"So, cute kid you got." Theodora guided Daryl to the dining area. "Very…determined."

"Yeah, she's just like her mom." Daryl ducked under a branch and spotted the dining area full of little kids running around to set up tables and pass out drinks. There had to be at least thirty kids here so far, and that wasn't even half of their group.

"Really? I'd say she gets it from you." She waved to her kids and asked if he liked fish.

"I ain't picky." He thought over what she'd said and stopped walking. "What's the real reason you didn't return her after that first week?"

She paused and laughed. "How'd you know I lied?"

"Because you didn't try and take her out there to see if that was the right place till last night." He folded his arms over his chest. "And you didn't make eye contact when you told us that. That was the only time."

"Guilty." She moistened her lips. "Smart man, but uh, relax. It's not sinister. I figured you for shite parents, letting her run amuck in a geek world, but I got it wrong. I apologize. Especially to your wife. I should have been more considerate."

"Well, you didn't know us. I understand the caution you took but have a little faith."

"Ooh, a man of a faith. I did not expect that." She sucked air in through her teeth and chuckled. "Impressive."

"I ain't a man of faith but doesn't mean I can't believe in people. Sometimes." He then corrected, "She ain't my wife."

"Huh?" Theodora squinted at him. "Why not?"

"We're together. That's good enough." He was nudged to get food by one of the kids who had no understanding of boundaries, and Theo grasped his sleeve to haul him forward and out of his semi-shy mannerisms. "The kids should eat first," he protested.

"Guests eat first," Theo informed him. "Then the kids then the adults, so the sooner you scoop up some fish and chips, the sooner the kids will get their grub on. Go ahead."

Daryl was handed a plate of food by one of the adults, Theo helped herself to sampling but took no plate, and they sat down at a picnic table to continue their conversation. Theo explained some of the rules of Seaside to him, and he could get behind them, even if some of them were a little odd. He wasn't here to live, but he might come by now and then to visit. Especially as Charli seemed taken by Theo. A new friend, and he didn't mind them bonding. She might be a good outside influence on her.

"So, how does it work?" Theodora helped herself to one of her kids' chips and munched on it, they protested, and she reminded them of curfew stargazing. Instantly the child hushed, and she laughed, sending an air kiss in their direction.

"How does what work?" He couldn't help but grub out on the fish, because it was amazing. He hadn't had fish in years, and he couldn't stop himself from pigging out. He knew she didn't mind his lack of manners—her kids had worse—but he still attempted to restrain himself, do proud by Carol, anyway.

"You and Carol. How does that work? You're not married, but you supplied her with two kids. Why not just marry her already? I think it's time." She crossed her legs. "Jack and I even exchanged some vows."

"Really? You're the marryin' kind?" He smirked now.

"We all gotta get wrangled up eventually, and I chose my best friend." She finished off the slice of potato and rested her hands in her lap. "It means a lot to us, you know."

"What does? Keeping the walls up?"

"Keeping the traditions of the old world alive." She searched his eyes and swallowed. "I want a relationship with your people, but Maggie asks for items we can't provide. We need…nothing from you all, save for arms and bodies when the Shah arrive. Beyond that, we can provide for ourselves."

"That isn't how we work, Theo. We…are give and take. Balance is key, and we can't just give when you need us to give without gettin' somethin' back."

"You would get the knowledge that those nutcases are dead and burned," Theo hissed lowly, not wanting her children to hear the venom in her words. "That is more than enough give in my book. Knowing your little girl can play in the yard without fearing they'll somehow snatch her? That's peace of mind we'll be giving you."

"It'll be shared."

"So what? Just—just strike up some deal and have Maggie agree to it. We don't need you all of the time, just to handle the Shah. I'm sure the other two peoples thrive off your agreements, but we just need this one thing from you: to come when called. That's all."

"We aren't animals."

"But the Shah are. They're organized animals, yes, but they are still animals. They steal into our lives and take our children, like wolves with the slow of a flock. You need to come to terms with the inevitable capture of your daughter and whoever else they want to claim as "chosen". There's no stopping them alone, but together? We can weed them out and put an end to every single member of that cult."

"They won't get my daughter," Daryl argued. "You taught her how to fight. She'll use what she's learned and survive. They won't get her."

"Yeah, I taught my son, too, and do you see him?" She bobbed her leg up and down in annoyance at him. "What's the worst you've encountered out there? Any rapists? Any murderers? The pure nutjobs?"

He nodded his hand. "Cannibals, too."

"God, before or after Charlotte."

"Before."

She was relieved. She couldn't imagine that sweet girl caught up in a world of cannibals. It would have been horrifying for anyone to experience, but even more so a child. This world was not made for them, but they would shape the world to their wills, which was why children were so important. They would direct the future, so the adults now needed to clear the path and let them flourish in their own time. Though basic self-defense was always given.

"Tell me about your experiences out in the world." She leaned across the table towards him. "And let me tell you about my experiences with the Shah."

"Why am I going first?"

"Because you're the guest." She smiled sweetly at him. "And guests go first."

* * *

Enid ran a hand down her jaw and stared at Aaron, who had just announced the results of the election, and they wanted Enid. They wanted her. They wanted her to lead them into a new future, and they were able to coordinate efforts to look for the Shah. Alexandria and the Kingdom may have called off the search for them, but Enid was going to arrange a small scouting party to look for them. Volunteers only.

Jesus congratulated her and embraced her. "I knew you could do it."

"Thank you, Paul." She accepted his hug and Aaron's. "I can't wait to break the news to Grace. She's going to be so pumped for me."

"Why don't you go find her?"

Just then Grace came in, holding hands with Carl as they returned from their walk back from school. She released his hand and ran over to her dad, who embraced her and asked her to go ask Enid about her big news. To which Enid bent down and grasped her hands to tell her the big news.

"That's incredible." Carl hugged her in congratulation after Grace. "I knew you could do it."

"We could do it," she insisted. "They love us working together, and I would really appreciate your support in the coming months. I want us to work together on the Shah. It's up to you. It's uprooting your life…for a friend."

He smiled at her. "I'd love to help you with the Shah, Enid." He set a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "You will do amazing with this. I just know it."

"Thank you." She set her hand over his and nodded. "Let's begin."

"Firstly," Carl pulled a walkie from his belt, "you gotta tell Mags."

She grinned and accepted the walkie, leaving the room to tell Maggie the amazing news of her win, and she learned she wasn't the only one with news. She learned of Charlotte's adventure to a new community called Seaside. It was mostly children, which made it a prime target for the Shah; and while they didn't want a full treaty agreement signed, they wanted—needed aid for the Shah.

Theodora sounded like on hell of a character, and it would be interesting to meet her. She would have to come and sign the treaty for aid to begin with. Enid didn't mind supplying a group of men and woman for Seaside to go against those child-napping bastards, but there were going to be terms to this agreement. She would want to see Seaside and meet these people before anything was signed. She had to know who they were, and if they could meet the standards of the agreement. Of the three questions. She needed to know their character, not just Theo's, for the greater goal of preserving Hilltop. That was her goal now.

"Wait, Daryl went with her? Alone?" Enid shook her head and looked back the door where Carl and the others were waiting.

_"Yeah, but it's fine. She was good to Charlotte, and Charlotte says she'll be good to Daryl. That they have rules about guests. I don't know if I can trust the word of a six-year-old, but she does know them best."_

"That's true, but I don't like it. The sooner he returns, the better. I want eye on Seaside, just to know if we can truly open up treaty talks with them."

She chuckled.  _"Spoken like a true leader."_

"It's what I aim to be." She chuckled herself now. "I have no shoes to fill, but I'll fill them well. I won't let these people struggle anymore."

" _Good. That makes me happy."_ There was a pregnant pause.  _"I'm gonna miss havin' you around to talk to and to teach, but I couldn't be prouder of you. You have come so far. I knew you were meant for great things."_

"Okay, Uncle Ben, did Glenn set you up to this?" She laughed lightly but was delighted, biting her bottom lip to contain her grin.

" _I married a nerd. Why did you expect?"_ She laughed with Enid and insisted, " _I am very proud of you. You'll go far in this world and lead the Hilltop even further in the right direction. You and Carl both. You two were made to lead, whether it's always together or not, we shall see."_

"I just need his experience to handle the Shah. It's like putting him on a task force. He'll spearhead the task force while I manage Hilltop. So my focus isn't divided."

" _That is… Wow. That's brilliant."_

 _"_ I learned from the best."

" _You certainly did."_

"I should go. I have a lot of planning to do. I have a whole new life to live." She drew air into her lungs deeply to release the pressure building there. "I'll see you when I come for the rest of my belongings."

" _I look forward to it."_

"I love you, Maggie."

" _I love you, too, Enid. I'll see you soon."_

 _"_ See you soon."

* * *

Denise and Tara joined Carol, Charlotte and Mika for breakfast the following morning; Denise held the little escapee in her lap and kissed her hair and squeezed her tight while Tara made jealousy jokes and pretended to pout. Mika could only laugh and pass around biscuits and jelly. Carol filled glasses with milk or iced tea, and they all sat down around the table to enjoy the meal.

"We missed you so much." Denise adjusted Charli on her lap when her skirt slid against Denise's jeans, and she beamed down at her. "Never do that to us again, you hear me?"

"I promise." She crossed her heart and hoped to die. "Mommy and I talked it all out. I'm not a problem."

"You'll never be a problem," Carol reassured her. "You'll always be my daughter, Mika's sister and a member of this family—but never a problem or burden."

She nodded and dug into the pancakes placed in front of her. She had missed her mommy's cooking, and she was so grateful to be home. Her heart didn't hurt anymore, and she couldn't help but laugh at the jokes Tara was telling. The pain was gone, and the laughter stayed. It was going to be a good day.

They laughed their way through breakfast, Carol felt the queasiness and the dizziness of her daughter's absence no more, and Mika snorted milk through her nose. It was a pretty disgusting sight, and it intrigued the hell out of Charlotte, who wanted to see it again. Tara made no promises to be that funny again, especially since it was situational humor, and it'd be difficult to replicate that moment. She gave it her damnedest, but all they managed was choking on iced tea, and Denise had to beg her to stop before Daryl came home to find someone had choked out at the dinner table. Tara sealed her mouth shut, and Carol smiled softly and rubbed her daughter's back to ease her through the coughing fit.

Denise and Tara left Carol helping Charli catch up on back homework with Daryl reporting in over the walkie, helping her sound out her new vocabulary words. Mika headed out to school, and Denise laced her fingers through Tara's as they headed to the clinic to do an inventory check as all the supplies from the search were given back. It was a tedious job, but someone had to do it.

"I'm so glad she's back." Tara unloaded the first aid kit. "I…couldn't handle losin' after kid, not after my niece and Emily. It'd be truly devastating."

"Yeah, I agree." Denise gathered up the unused syringes and placed them back into the drawer. "I would have been…broken had Theodora not returned Charli back to us."

"Ditto." She turned to face her. "I've been so worried about you since that first day, and I can finally relax. I can see you smile and know everything'll be okay."

Denise felt heat creeping up on her face as Tara spoke, and she stammered, shaking her head. "I—I don't know about that."

"Well, it's a good thing I do." She walked over to her and set her hand on top of her girlfriend's. "You mean the world to me, Denise Cloyd, and I won't let anything happen to you that I can't fix."

"Tara…."

"I love you." She searched her eyes and grasped her cheek to pull her in for a kiss. "You don't have to say it back, but I do love you."

She grinned at her and cupped her hand against Tara's cheek. "I've loved you since that first BBQ the Grimes threw for us."

"That was a month after we met."

"Exactly." She closed her eyes and exhaled. "I'm scared of a lot of things, but I don't want to be scared of us. I love you, and I'm not afraid of saying it. I'm afraid of losing you, but I'm not going to let that hold be back. After all I've seen Daryl and Carol go through with Charli, I don't want that for us. I want… I want us to be happy."

"We  _are_  happy." Tara laced her fingers through Denise's on her cheek, and Denise opened her eyes. "You've made me happy since the first time you kissed me, Denise. Don't ever doubt that."

She bit her bottom lip to try and contain her smile then release it to beam at her love. "You've made me happy since that first meeting."

"Okay, now you're just trying to one-up me." Denise giggled, and Tara released her hand to grasp the back of her neck, kissing her hard and deep. Her tongue slipped into her mouth, and the idea of checking inventory was lost on them. They would leave it for Mordin. He was bound to come in soon anyway.

"First one upstairs has to go down first," Tara challenged.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Only fair."

They both took off like a shoot for the upstairs, laughing and kissing and forgetting about the first one game they were playing. The rest faded away as the door to their bedroom shut.

* * *

Daryl returned two days later with salted meats, some veggies, a rented car and a deal for Maggie and Robin to discuss when she came down in a couple days. She wanted Maggie to have time to consider the deal before anything was actually done, and Maggie was impressed by the contains of the deal and of Robin's personality Daryl had keyed her in on. It would be an interesting meeting, and Maggie looked forward to it.

"She's gonna sent some horses down as a show of good faith." Daryl informed Maggie, "And since I told her about your farm history, you'll have to break 'em in."

"Great." Maggie set Joss down in her play pin and accepted the written terms of the agreement from Daryl's hand. "When do they arrive?"

"In a couple days. Theo will be bringing them over."

She nodded. "Good deal. I'll get…. Wait, I can't get Beth to help me. She's pregnant."

"She is?" Daryl didn't know how he missed that. "I'll have to congratulate her."

"Please do." She smiled at him. "You're back just in time for the weddin'. Do you know what she wants?"

"Like a gift?" He tilted his head to the side and could have sworn sand came out of it. He'd shaken himself off like a dog when he'd gotten far enough away from Seaside, but apparently that wasn't enough. He needed to be hosed down. Ugh, fuckin' sand. It'd be a great way to track people, though.

"No, like a request." She chuckled. "She wants you to walk her down the aisle. Since Daddy can't, she wants someone who's been a male model in her life to. That's you, and that's Glenn, too. She wants you both."

"Wow." He couldn't help his smile. "That's…thoughtful. I can't believe she thought—thinks—of me that way."

"Well, she does." She placed the terms on her desk and leaned against it. "You trained her. You helped her when she was hurt. Of course, she loves you, and now she looks to you like a big brother, so she wants that feelin' of family surroundin' her on her big day."

He nodded. "'Course I'll do it."

"Was it ever in question?"

"Guess not. I'll need the practice for my own girls."

"Right. Henry and Mika have gotten pretty close." She tossed a teasing smirk his way, and he clenched his jaw. "Daryl, sex is bound to happen. It comes with bein' a teenager. You can't deny you like it with Carol."

He hadn't expected this turn in the conversation and flushed hotly at the mention of sex and Carol and him having it with her.

"Mika's a smart young woman with a good head on her shoulders, and she'll make the choice when she's ready. You can't stop that. You just need to show her how to be safe. That's your job—not to get in the way of her choice, not to threaten and scold on a perfectly normal human response—just to guide her and assure her she has the power to say yes or no the entire time. Okay?"

"I don't feel comfortable talkin' 'bout this with you."

"Well, too bad. I got one pregnant sister, and I don't want another young girl pregnant on my hands. Condoms are out of date, and nobody's given them focus, so please, educate the girl. If Carol hasn't already." She loved to watch to squirm, and she had to remember to reserve her laughter for once he was gone, because good grace was he a worm's brother right now. "Now go home and kiss that little girl for me."

He chuckled and cut through the tension bubbling inside of him. "I'll bring her by for a play date."

"Soon, please. I need my Charli cuddles." She pointed to the play pin. "She just wants to pull and/or chew my hair, and Hersh goes to Enid for cuddles. She's gone, and still won't come to me."

"You'll survive."

"I am cuddle deprived," she jested. "I won't."

"Fine, you can cuddle her at the weddin'."

"She's a flower girl. I won't be able to." She leaned across the desk and pleaded. "Let me babysit tonight."

"What? I just got back. I ain't even got to hold her for more than a meetin'."

"Dude, you and Carol got some talkin' to do anyway, so let me and Glenn watch over the little ones. Even Mika can join us. I could see some girl talk, maybe give her some boy advice."

His lips formed a line at the thought of Maggie talking to Mika about boys, and he seriously did not want Maggie to boy talk with Mika. "Just…fine, but Carol ain't gonna approve."

"We shall see." She pointed to him. "Weddin' at seven. Don't be late."

"Same to you, you workaholic."

"Somebody's gotta be."

He laughed and headed out, heading directly for home. He didn't waste a single second running from Maggie's to home, to see his girls and to hold them all close. He couldn't wait to see Charlotte and speak to Carol, because he had a lot to say, and he didn't know where to start, but he was sure he would know when he saw her face. She had a way of articulating his thoughts by mere eye contact.

So, when he opened the door to his house and found the first floor vacant, he frowned and called out. A voice he hadn't expected call back, and he headed upstairs to his and Carol's bedroom. Nina was sitting on the bed in loose pants and a tank top, holding about ten bobby pins in her mouth and looking exhausted.

"What are you doin' here?"

She plucked the pins out of her mouth and stood up. "What are you doing here? We have a bride to get ready, and a flower girl and a maid of honor."

"Well, I ain't the one gettin' married, so why are you in my bedroom?"

"Because I'm the stylist." She gestured to her bag on the vanity and the pins in her hand. "Beth will be over here any minute, and we said no men. I thought Maggie told you."

"Daddy!" Charlotte ran out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, and he scooped her up, kissing her forehead carefully. She smelled of soap and laundry detergent. It was a lovely combination. It smelled of home.

"Hey, baby." He smiled at her. "Flower girl?"

"Yeah." She was beaming. "Beth told me just this morning after I turned in my school work. I can't wait. I'm so excited."

"I'll bet." He caught a glimpse of Carol coming out of the bathroom in a robe, and his mouth went dry. He wasn't able to piece together a single thought, let alone an entire sentence, since her eyes were on the floor, and tension set it.

Nina felt guilt sweep across her heart and wondered if this had anything to do with that kiss. She frowned and tried to break the tension, but Carol spoke first, asking Daryl to head over to the Grimes's house to get ready with the boys. He frowned and said he wanted to be close to Charli, and Charli promised he had the rest of forever to do that.

"But I'd like to start now. It's been weeks, and I had to follow Theo out to Seaside." He stroked her cheek and tried not to frown so deeply in disappointment. "Can't she just come with me? You do her first and let her come with me."

"Daryl, no." Carol met his eyes for the first time since he'd come inside. "She's six. She'll have the hair undo in the first two minutes, and Beth wants this to be a perfect as possible. Please, don't make us fight."

He nodded. "All right. I'll see y'all at the weddin' in four hours."

"You'd be surprised to know four hours isn't a lot of time when you're preparing for a wedding," Nina teased, and he smiled weakly. "Especially us girls."

"All right then." He set Charli down and corrected her towel so it kept in place, kissing the top of her damp hair and leaving with one look back at Carol. He passed Beth in the hall, and she hugged him tightly, thanking him for agreeing to walk her down the aisle today, and he hugged her back.

"I can't wait for it." She released him and held his arms. "I'm going to be a Mrs. to the man I love most in the entire world. There ain't nothin' better than that feelin'."

"I'll bet."

"Gosh, if you and Carol ever get married, you'll understand, sour pants." She was teasing, but he really was sour. "You need to light up. It's a good day. Charlotte is home. Carol is out of her depression. I'm getting married to my best friend. You get the whole night alone with Carol." This was said suggestively, and he decided to make it a rule to never speak to the Greene girls ever again.

"Lighten up." She giggled at his expression and released his arms. "I'm going to get all prettied up, and so are you."

"I ain't gettin' prettied up."

"You are, but in the manly way. Bread trimmed, hair brushed and maybe pulled back?" She tried to test it out, but he ducked and held a hand out to motion a  **stop**. "All right. I'll lay off, but you need to lighten up. It's a good day, Daryl Dixon. It's a good day."

"Yeah, it is, so enjoy it." He smiled at her and padded down the stairs, rubbing his jaw and trying not add "for you" to his statement with all his might, but he couldn't help it. "It is a good day for you, Beth Greene," he murmured on his way out the door. His day was an unknown he wasn't ready for. Specifically, when he returned home to an empty house with Carol. Jesus, he hoped that conversation wasn't a bitter one. He wasn't sure he would be able to survive another bitter talk with Carol.

He roamed the streets, his goal the Grimes' house, but he was going to take his time getting there. He wasn't in the mood to be preened and polished like a China doll. He just wanted a few fleeting moments to himself before this wedding consumed him.

"Daryl." Rick called to him from the porch of his house when he finally arrived about twenty minutes later, and he nodded him inside.

He entered the house to find Glenn getting a haircut by Michonne while Noah rubbed his clean jaw and stared at his trimmed locks in the mirror over the mantel, and Daryl had a feeling this was going to be a new type of hell.

"Welcome to Michonne's hair salon." Rick offered him a beer. "Only one to help edge off the pain of a haircut."

"I ain't getting no haircut," he announced, but he still accepted the beer.

"A trim then," Michonne called back to him. "It's going to happen, just deal with it."

"Fine." He plopped down onto the couch, and he drank from the tinted bottle. "Mmm. I need a shower before this show gets on the road."

"It's a requirement," Glenn informed him as he closed an eye at Michonne trimming his hard grown locks. "I just had mine. You're neck, so you might want to chug."

He started to laugh, but at the look Michonne cut him, he realized Glenn was dead serious. He shot up and headed to the bathroom, unbuttoning his shirt and chugging down his beer.

* * *

Nina sat on the edge of the bed as she braided Beth's hair, Beth sat between her legs, listening to music and going over her vows in a bathrobe, not wanting to get any hair product on her dress. Carol had sent Mika and Charlotte downstairs to get some snacks, and she told them not to roughhouse, because Nina had braided and twisted and pulled their back hair into cute updos that matched the blue dresses Beth had found in the spare clothes closet in the pantry—they were also to be Beth's something blue. The baby was her something new. Daddy's watch was something old, and Nina's flower hairpin was the something borrowed. They had it all down. It'd be perfect.

Carol had changed in her dress and was trying to adjust to the idea of wearing the same dress she'd worn to Maggie and Glenn's party to the wedding of Beth and Noah. She still looked amazing in it, but she thought of the circumstances surrounding the first time she'd worn it to now. She and Daryl were almost in the same position. She hoped it ended on a good note, like before.

"So, Nina, I have a question for you?" Carol wrapped her hair up into a twisted bun and pinned it into place.

"Ask away." She tucked another pearl pin into Beth's braid and looked over at her. "Oh, you look lovely."

"Thank you." She lowered her arms and made eye contact. "Daryl told me about the kiss."

Her mouth drained of all moisture as she looked at the burning annoyance in Carol's eyes, and she had to focus to keep from undoing all of her efforts with Beth's hair. "I—I—it isn't what you think."

"Oh, it's not? I hope so, because if you're still in love with him and tried to make a move on him when he was vulnerable, I'll have to ask you to get out of my house."

She gulped. "I—it was just for perspective. I—I had to prove a point, and it was the first thing that came into my head. Like a corny chick-flick moment. I am so sorry. It didn't mean anything beyond trying to prove a point. I won't do it again. I swear. I don't even—"

"You do still have some feelings for him, Nina. I knew you do." She crossed her arms and stepped closer. "I need you to understand that a lot is up in the air between Daryl and I right now, and I don't need you trying to take advantage of that."

"I'm not. I swear to God." She searched Carol's eyes and felt like crying. "I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted to help. I just… Guys and me never work the way I want, and I should have covered his mouth with my hand or—or kicked his foot or something else, but I just acted. I'm so sorry."

She nodded. "I hope so, because you're on your last chance with me. He…means the world to me, fighting or no, and I want to make it work with him, but I can't do that if I feel like someone else is making moves behind my back."

"No moves. I am making no moves towards anybody." She put a hand on her heart once Beth's hair was safely tucked between her fingers. "I swear on my life."

"That's a bit much, but I appreciate it." She smiled softly at her. "Don't make me regret this."

"I won't. Trust me, the last thing I want is to get in between two people who are soul mates. I'd have to be nuts." She laughed and turned back to finish the bride's hair. "You two give me hope. I'd never come between you two."

"Give you hope?" She shook her head, heeding her hair and its updo. "How?"

"Because you two found each other when the world went to crap, and you keep finding each other every day. I think that's beautiful." She smiled thoughtfully at Carol. "And I want that for myself. I just hope I find it."

"If I can find love, so can you." Carol sat down on the bed beside her. "One day."

"I just hope it's before I can't have kids, or I'll just cry." She said it like a joke, but Carol could tell there was more truth to it than musing.

"If you can't have kids, you might stumble upon a stray fox," Carol commented. "And have to keep it caged in the prison to keep it from going feral."

"I didn't know it would be wild at such a young age," Mika remarked as she carried in tray of fruit and drinks. "I said I was sorry, but I still think I can get it to come around."

"It's not a horse; it won't "come around". It's a wild animal, and we should let it go. It's cruel to keep it caged."

"It's cruel to let it go and have walkers devour it." She set the tray down on the end table and sat on the floor beside Beth. "Very cruel."

"All right, we're not having this fight again. We'll deal with it tomorrow." Carol helped herself to a grape. "Okay?"

"Okay." She perked up and looked at Beth, who was removing the earbuds from her ears. "We should focus on the wedding."

Beth smiled. "I'm so excited for it. Is it almost time?"

"An hour away," Nina reported. "Aren't you nervous?"

"No way." She looked down at the ring on her finger and smiled like sunshine. "I'm marrying my best friend, and in this world that is…rare. I love having this chance, and of course I wish Daddy and Ma were here, but I'll take what I have and regret nothin'."

Carol smiled down at her and caught her chin, stroking it tenderly. "I love you, sweet girl, and I am so proud of you."

"I love you, too." She caught Carol's wrist and squeezed it. "Thank you for giving me this chance."

"Hey, we saved each other," Carol corrected. "We save each other."

"Yeah, we did, didn't we?" She chuckled and stood up to embrace her. "Thank you nonetheless."

"Let's get you into that dress before I'm too old to see straight." She chuckled and jested.

"Oh, hush. You're not even old." She swatted her arm and moved over to the closet to get out the dress she'd found in the spare clothes bin. It'd been ironed and fitted by Carol last night, and it fit perfectly. "So stop that."

"Fine, I will." She rose up and joined her by the closet. "You ready?"

She nodded. "Absolutely."

They helped Beth into the simple, strapless ombre white to grey dress that was once a prom and/or bride's maid dress, and it fit her well enough to look like a wedding dress. Mika and Charlotte were dress in blue dresses that didn't match, but were a similar shade of blue, and Carol and Nina dressed in just nice dresses. It wasn't going to be an all-out wedding—the groom was going to be in black jeans—but it was going to be a nice family event. That was all that mattered.

* * *

They met at the church at six-forty-five, Carol and Maggie checked in on Noah to see he was just as eager and roaring to go, and Carol was thrilled. Maggie commented how her wedding involved a bunch of walkers as the audience, and Carol returned with redoing their vows, but Maggie was content with her original wedding.

Rick, Michonne, Hershel, Joss and RJ sat in the first row of pews as Carol, Nina and Mika on the opposite side with Monroe on Nina's lap, and in came the flower girls. Charlotte and Judith tossed wild flower petals everywhere, as this was the first and only rundown of the wedding, and Carol took pictures of them for her personal albums and Beth's. It was a precious sight, though Mika ended up with purple petals all over her, and Carol snapped a shot of it before she sneezed and blew them all away.

Then came Maggie who walked alone in a red dress with a wild flower bouquet, smiling widely a bit of normalcy in their lives, and then came the beautiful bride. Noah instantly straightened up his spine, and Daryl and Glenn walked Beth to him in slow, steady steps.

The moment she came into focus, Noah's eyes burned, and he covered his mouth in joy at the sight of his bride, and she thanked Glenn and Daryl for being the best fill ins a girl could ask for. Glenn kissed her hair and resist coughing out hairspray and joined Noah at the alter; and Daryl squeezed her hand and stepped back to sit down beside Carol. Beth inhaled deeply and joined her soon-to-be husband, tears filling in her eyes now as she looked at him. She laughed lovingly, tearfully, and he grasped her hand to kiss it.

It was a beautiful ceremony, and the vows weren't traditional but spoken together as memorized by Carol's note cards: You cannot possess me for I belong to myself, but while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me, for I am a free person, but I shall serve you in those ways you require, and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand. I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night, the eyes into which I smile in the morning. I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care. I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine. I shall not slander you, nor you me. I shall honor you above all others and when we quarrel, we shall do so in private and tell no strangers our grievances. This is my wedding vow to you. This is my marriage of equals.

They exchanged rings—which meant Beth was once more given her engagement ring, and Noah was given a ring to wear made by their local jeweler Abraham Ford—and shared their first kiss as man and wife, the cheers of their family filling the church as they did so.

Beth laughed as they broke apart, holding him by her arms around his neck, and he rested his forehead on hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She lowered a hand to stroke his cheek and kissed him once more, memorizing the feel of his lips and this moment. It was one of the most vital moments of her life, and she would honor and cherish it and him until death parted them.

* * *

At the reception in their not so little cottage, Glenn and Rick took the boys outside to play with a remote control car while Michonne and Charlotte were going over the moves Nyla had taught her, and Carol waited for the happy couple to join them. They had decided to walk slowly back to the house, and Carol suspected some R behavior happening somewhere along the way.

The front door opened as everyone poured back into the house and through to the backyard where Rick, Glenn and the boys were. Daryl had fired up the grill to cook up some ribs, and Maggie worked the stereo to play some music for dancing, and Mika had a suggestion for them to dance to as man and wife, and Maggie almost wished Enid was here to play the guitar for them. Oh well, they would make the most if it.

Mika and Maggie sang "Stand By Me" for their first dance, Carol was pulled out onto the dance floor by Glenn, and Michonne by Rick, and RJ and Charlotte danced together, and Hershel and Judith boogied out together. It was sweet and memorable, and it made the moment so much sweeter.

Glenn dipped Carol back, and she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and righting herself. He told her to smile more today, and she knew what he meant, so she pinched his cheek and told him to smile more. He laughed and said he already was.

"Hey, mind if I cut in?" Maggie asked when they let the stereo play.

"Go right ahead." Carol stepped back and let her dance with her husband. Carol moved to stand beside the house, her eyes moving to Daryl slowly, and she found he was already watching her. They would have a long night ahead of them, wouldn't they?

"Come here." Daryl held his hand out, and she couldn't resist smiling, accepting his hand and lacing her fingers through his. "I needa talk to you."

"Yeah, there's a lot we need to discuss." She nodded. "But whatever happens, I love you, Daryl."

"I love you, too." He squeezed her hand and know that no matter what happened in their conversation, they would be fine. He would make sure of it.


	29. Tame (Your Demons)

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

After the reception Carol and Daryl said goodnight to their daughters at Maggie's house, hugging and holding each daughter tightly, kissing their hair goodnight with love. Then they headed out towards home, sauntering the streets apart from each other but still together in spirit. They didn't speak until they were home, and even then silence still fell upon them.

Carol removed her shoes and undid her hair, waves falling down her shoulders, and she told Daryl she'd be back. She unzipped the dress on the way upstairs and changed into her nightclothes, rejoining Daryl downstairs in the little cushioned hole in between the kitchen and the playroom.

Carol inhaled deeply. "We have a few kinks in our relationship."

"Yeah, we do." He nodded his head in agreement and met her eyes. "I got a lotta anger pint up inside, and almost losin' Charli made me realize just how much and how I got no control over it."

"I remember."

"I'll get help for it. I've already spoken to Denise about a couple sessions a week." He had time this morning before he saw Maggie and before the news of the wedding. "I wanna work through it 'cause I can't hurt you like I have. Or Charlotte or Mika."

"Wow, that's…amazing, Daryl. I really appreciate that." She smiled with pride at him. "You…you've really grown up."

"Loss…near loss…has a way of doin' that." He rubbed his hands together then placed his hands on her knees. "And I'm willin' to do what you want or need of me to show you how sorry I am. You have given me more life and love than I thought I could ever deserve, and I… I should do better. I should have done better, and I'm sorry."

She inhaled deeply. "You hurt me in a way I didn't expect of you, but it wasn't just you hurting me. We hurt each other and our daughters. We can't… We  _cannot_  do that ever again, so I think we need to take a step back for a second."

He rubbed his jaw and nodded. "Some space? Yeah. I mean, I hate it, but I'll do it. If that's what it takes."

"It's not about what it takes. It's about us not being used to being parents together. Yes, we had two plus years, but no stressors. We just parented without any outside influences until that awful day when Ila came into our lives. We need to learn how to parent with outside influences and stressors and how to cope with that. We need to do better." What a mouth full. Jesus H. She hoped he caught that, because she certainly didn't want to repeat it.

"How do we get better at that?"

"We both see Denise as parents, not as a couple, because we're mostly fine there. But we need to confront these issues with Denise, a qualified third person, and we find solutions. We cannot fight in front of our kids anymore, because it clearly negatively impacts their mental health and decisions."

"Right, and I can't risk what happened with Charli happenin' again or with Mika."

"Exactly." She nodded. "We need to do better."

"And I know you mentioned it, but it ain't just as parents." He searched her eyes and wet his lips. "We aren't doin' great as a couple. Yeah, we have a lot of good days, but mostly I just feel…like we're stuck, you know?"

She shifted uneasily in the booth. "Stuck? You feel stuck?"

"Yeah, but not like in a rut, just…stuck like we're in mud."

Carol tried to make a joke out of it, but he was right. They were in a lull, and it had been going on for the past couple weeks. It wasn't the missing child. It wasn't the fighting. It simply was something between them, and it was getting louder and louder and more and more massive. It felt like a bubble in the chest—tight, uncomfortable and very worrisome.

Carol sat back against the bench and mused, "What, do you want to get married next?"

He exhaled deeply again and leaned back. "No, I don't wanna get married."

For some reason that stung, and she averted her eyes to the toy room, fixating on the stuffed doll lying on the floor Carol was sure she'd asked Charli to pick up before they started getting ready for the wedding.

"But I do wanna exchange some vows," he softly added. "Somethin' like those Beth and Noah recited. I liked that smile line and the part about bein' a shield for each other. That was nice, too. I want somethin' like that, but just us, somethin' private and personal."

"I'd love that."

"But we gotta work our issues out first. We can't be makin' vows when we're all…fucked up." He shook his head now and stood up to sit beside her. "I don't care if we're stuck, by the way, long as I got you with me."

"Being stuck isn't a good place for any relationship," Carol informed him. "Happy to be there or not."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, she leaned into him, and he waved his hand for hers, which she handed over, and he looked over her fingers before lacing his fingers through them. "I've been stuck in worse positions."

She lightly smacked his chest. "Don't compare our relationship with your past. That's never a good thing."

He caught her other hand and moved it into his lap. "You're the only part of us my past that I care about."

She smiled softly and closed her eyes. "I wish I could say the same, but I had a special angel in my past I can't forget about."

"I wouldn't want you to." He nuzzled his chin against her brow and placed a kiss there. "Sophia will always be in our lives, even if she's not physically there."

"I told Charlotte stories of Sophia to keep her memory alive." Carol opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. "I want a piece of her to live on in this world, no matter what."

"And it will."

"So, we talk to Denise tomorrow?" Carol whispered, changing the subject. "First thing?"

"Yeah." He nodded in agreement. "First thing."

"I'm scared," she confessed.

"Me, too." He wrapped their arms around her and kissed her hair once more. "But we'll get through it."

"What if we don't?" Carol couldn't help the tears in her eyes as she inquired. They had been through so much so soon, and she wasn't sure they were going to survive it. She wasn't sure they were going to come out stronger for it. She wanted them too, of course, but the world so rarely did what she wanted.

"Then we start over and get it right next time."

"Next time, eh?"

"Yeah, we'll get as many of 'em as it takes to get it right." He buried his face in her hair and murmured, "'Cause I ain't lettin' go without a fight."

Carol thought about it for a moment and nodded her head carefully. "Yeah, me neither."

* * *

"Easy," Maggie commanded of the stallion. "Easy, boy, easy."

Charlotte and Hershel were watching Maggie break in the new horses, one by one, as Glenn and Mika kept an eye on them, and they had been out there for a few hours now. They split a few apples and played a couple games, watching Maggie wear down and earn the trust of horse after horse, and soon all of them—from the most troublesome to the most compliant—were broken in and given names by the little ones and Mika. It was a fun morning, and it warranted a picture, which Glenn happily took of them.

"Let's get you kids inside." Maggie panted, closing the door to the stall and walking out of the stable. "It's too hot to be outside for this long. Bet y'all could use some lemonade."

"Yeah," Hershel and Charlotte cheered in unison.

"Actually, I sort have plans." Mika scratched her chin and stepped back. "Henry's coming to visit with Morgan, so I should go to meet him at the gate."

"I'll walk with you." Charlotte jumped to be stand beside her sister. "We'll go together."

"Actually, no, Charli." Mika set a hand on her head and smiled at her. "Maggie promised Mom she'd watch you. I can't let Mags break that promise."

She pouted. "But I wanna see Henry, too."

"We will come by the house. How does that sound?"

"Cheap." She put her hands on his hips and huffed. "You are a cheap talker."

"Hey, that's just rude." Mika mirrored her by putting her hands on her hips and heaved a sigh. "Mom didn't raise you to be rude."

"No, she raised me to survive."

"You are such a little…" Mika cut off and groaned. "Brat right now."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are. Maggie." She turned to her for support, but Maggie held her hands up in a gesture of 'Not on me'. "Mags!"

"Hey, I know better than to get involved in a sister fight." She picked Hershel up. "We'll meet you guys back at the house."

"You promised to watch her."

"I did, but so did you." She reminded her. "And Glenn will walk with you, keep an eye on her, right?"

"Right." He nodded. "No more escape acts."

"I won't," Charli groaned, annoyed and tsking on the T. "I promised."

"Then go with them. Mom and Dad are in the middle of important talks," Mika reminded her. "You have to be a good girl."

She lowered her eyes to the ground and swallowed, nodding her head as she took a hold of Glenn's hand. "We can all go together."

"Charli," Mika groaned.

"It's just a trip," Glenn offered. "It's just to the gate. Henry won't mind to see her."

"Yeah, but he's my boyfriend. Does the whole family always have to tag along?" She folded her arms and sulked towards the front date.

"Teenagers." Maggie shook her head. "Can't wait for those years."

"Yep." He glanced over at her. "Check on Joss for me, give her a kiss."

"You know it." She kissed him and headed for home.

Glenn and Charlotte followed after Mika to the gate, Mika sulked almost the entire way there until Morgan and Henry were in sight then she perked up. She jogged over to him and hugged him, giving him a kiss and thanking Morgan for a safe delivery. It was a joke, and they both laughed, and Morgan assured her it was no big deal, that he handled himself nicely. It was a cute moment.

Charlotte let go of Glenn's hand and ran over to hug Henry herself, Glenn chuckled and jogged after her, and they met in the middle of Henry scooping Charli up into a massive bear hug. Glenn greeted Morgan and Henry both, and they all walked to Carol and Daryl's home, save for Morgan, and Mika promised Glenn there would be no funny business, that they'd just watch a movie with Charli until Mom and Dad came home. Glenn trusted her, mostly trusted Charli to bug the shit out of them, and he headed home.

"So, where are your parents?" Henry sat down on the couch and hit play on the remote.

"Couple's therapy." She said it low in case the movie hadn't capture her sister's attention yet.

"Oh. Rough."

"Right?" She sat down beside him and laced her fingers through his. "I hope they'll be okay. I mean, they seem okay. They're still affectionate and everything, so I have hope."

"That must really be a challenge. I mean, they are your parents. You must be worried."

"I'm terrified." She curled up against him and rested her head under his chin. "I worry they won't survive whatever Denise says to them. I don't want to have to chose between my parents. I love them both so much, you know?"

"Yeah." He stroked her hair. "Well, I'll be here for you, no matter what."

"I know you will be." She smiled and kissed his chest. "I love you for that."

"I love you, too." He smiled and tipped her head back to kiss her lips.

Charlotte pulled her legs up to her chest and pretended to be focusing on the movie rather than their not-so-hushed conversation. She hugged her knees tighter and wanted to argue with them about what they were saying, but she promised she'd be a good girl. Good girls don't argue. At least not yet.

* * *

Carol and Daryl sat across from Denise in the living room, Carol was sitting with her legs crossed and her fingers lace together in her lap, and Daryl's leg was bouncing up and down rapidly as he picked at his thumbnail and chewed on his bottom lip. Denise was waiting for them to break the ice layering over them, but no one wanted to take that first step.

"So," Denise began, "what brings you both here?"

"We're sorta stuck in our relationship." Daryl released his lip and leaned back. "Not like in a rut or nothin', just…something is off."

Carol groaned softly at a sharp pain in her stomach and shifted on the couch, moving her hands to add pressure to the discomfort to see if that would cause relief. "Yeah, just…off."

"Okay, that's not helpful. What caused this riff?" Denise looked from Daryl to Carol and back. "How long has it been going on?"

"Since Emily went missing." Carol lowered her hands to her lap again. "We've been nonstop fighting about every little thing to do with how we're raising Charlotte."

"So this is about your parenting relationship, not your intimate relationship." She nodded her head.

"I guess so." Daryl leaned closer to Denise. "But what does that mean exactly? What can you tell us about it?"

"Well, I think I know part of the issue." Denise turned to Carol. "We've discussed this before, but I won't give my opinion until you've spoken."

Daryl looked from Denise to Carol and frowned. "Y—y'all spoke on this before?"

"Not exactly this subject." Carol met his gaze and elaborated. "I've been having a difficult time adjusting to our parenting Charlotte."

"Yeah, that's why we're here."

"No, Daryl,  _our_  parenting. Us as a parenting team is what I mean. I'm used to being a single parent with Aunt Denise chiming in now and then, and all of a sudden I have to listen and respect your wishes and advice on a child that I've raised almost entirely alone." She sank down into the couch at her admission. "I… I'm sorry, but I still feel that she is mine alone to raise."

He frowned as he processed her words and said nothing.

"It's not that you don't have good ideas and are a good father; it's just that I am used to being alone in parenting. Always alone, even with Sophia. Ed was no help, and I didn't want him around her to begin with." She heaved a sigh. "But that's not the point here."

"The point is you don't like me havin' an opinion on how Charlotte is raised."

"It's not me exactly. It's more…like a gut-feeling." She searched his eyes, trying to see past the initial hurt to find understanding, and surely enough she found it. "I've been ignoring it for months, maybe years now, but I can't let it. It's starting to cause me physical irritation."

"Sorry to be a pain in the ass." He stood up and scoffed, shaking his head and walking away.

"You're not a pain in the ass." She rose up and follow him, grasping his arm with both of her hands. "And to be honest, it's not even in my ass. It's more a gut region." He didn't laugh, and she lowered her eyes. "Daryl, please."

"I knew you didn't approve of my parentin' style. I—I tried to follow what I'd seen you do 'cause she's my first kid. Mika don't really count. She had you and Ryan long before she had me, but Charlotte? She's all mine all of the time, and I have important choices to make for her well bein' and her future. I worry about it all the time, and to know that...my best is givin' you gut pains…."

"No, no, no, that's not it at all." She turned to face him and met his eyes. "Your best is amazing, and Charlotte adores you. You are her best friend. She looks to you like you hung the moon, you have to know that."

"But to you I'm just a pain." He dropped his eyes from hers. "Right?"

"No, it's an issue I have. I'll work it out, and it'll be okay. We'll be okay." She slid her hands down his arm to grasp his hand and smiled encouragingly at him. "We are a team, and I will adjust. I know I will, because you are the only person in the entire world I would want to team up and take on the world with. Even if that world is a six-year-old and her sister."

"I've always felt worthless," he confessed, "and like a burden, a mistake, a—a pain in the ass. And you just confirmed all of my fears."

"No, Daryl, please don't think that. I was joking about the pain. It's a mild discomfort, and it wasn't very funny." Tears burned in her eyes, and she squeezed his hand tightly. "Please look at me."

"Daryl," Denise set a hand on his shoulder, "this is a good place to start opening up those old wounds. I know it's going to hurt, but please, look at us. Talk to us."

He shuddered and sputtered, and when he lifted his head up, he had tears in his eyes, and he brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His shoulders shook, and he crumbled at his confession. Carol dropped to her knees to hold him, and Denise sat beside them to talk him through what he was feeling. They didn't smother him. He needed to feel this. He needed to work through it, and Denise asked him what he was feeling.

He admitted that he felt like this entire existence was a big joke to the world. He felt as though he shouldn't be here, be breathing, and he questioned everything about himself every second of every day. He tried to be happy, to be there for his family, but he had no idea how. He had no idea what a family truly was, and he didn't know if he was failing them or not. He was trying so hard to be a good partner, a good father, but he wasn't sure he was doing that or just aping it well enough to barely pass.

He felt that what happened to Charlotte was his fault. He was so enraged and filled with worry and regret and hatred, and he directed it at the wrong person. He couldn't make the wounds he'd inflicted better, and he'd nearly sent his daughter into the arms of the very people he was trying to keep her from. It was only by luck that Seaside had found her first, and that might not even have been luck. He felt like nothing, less than human, at his actions, and he knew there was nothing he could do to make it right. Therapy or no, there was no righting his actions and his words, and he understood if Carol wanted to just end this here and slowly ween Charli away from him and his parenting.

Carol's heart broke at this confession, and she shook her head. "There is no better father for Charli than you. You are her flesh and blood. You helped bring her into this world, and there's nothing...nothing you can do or say to take away from that. You have helped me raise a happy and healthy six-year-old for the past two years. It's you I see in her smile and in her eyes in the morning. It's you that she admires most and looks up to. She is a Daddy's girl through and through."

"She shouldn't be." He buried his face deeper into her lap and all but wailed as he became more and more exposed. "I'm worthless."

"No, you're not." Denise set a hand on his shoulder. "That voice that tells you all of those negative things isn't yours. It doesn't belong in your head, Daryl."

He shook.

"It was placed into your brain by a very sick and cruel man who shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near you." Denise couldn't see his face to see if he was hearing her words. "He was a broken man who only knew how to break, how to destroy, but you are so much stronger than that. You can repair the damage and come out stronger. You can overcome, Daryl. We know you can."

There was a truth behind the agony, but that voice barked and bit and spat at him so much over the course of so many years he didn't know how to live without it. He was a grown ass man, but his old man was still the one controlling him, still telling him who he was and what he was about, even though he'd broken the cycle. He'd broken away from Merle and his cruel words. He still had a collar around his neck from his broken childhood, still felt the pain of his father's lashes searing against his back and his arms, still felt that hatred glowered down on him. He felt it all, and it was lessened by Carol, by Mika and by Charlotte. By Michonne. By Rick. By Beth. By Maggie and Glenn and the rest of their family. It wasn't as powerful, but it lingered in his mind still.

His heart pounded so ferociously against his chest it ached to breathe. He wanted her words to break through the shell of harsh words forming around him. He wanted to be able to laugh and say it was gonna be okay, but he didn't feel it. in fact, he didn't feel anything. He was a shattered mess of numb nothingness, and he knew it would fade. He knew if he gave it time, fed it pain, it would fade, but he couldn't do that anymore. He couldn't self-harm to feel. He was a grown ass man, who had a child who liked to hold his hand, and he couldn't look into her eyes at her asking what that new burn mark was. He couldn't handle telling her a lie, or God forbid, the truth.

He needed to do better. He needed to work through the pain and find the reason behind the urge to self-harm, behind the reaction of burying his feelings instead of facing them head-on. He needed to resolve these issues if he wanted to help Carol combat her single parent mentality. He couldn't do that when he wasn't a whole person, let alone a good father. He was a letdown on all fronts until he was able to confront his problems and get over them. He couldn't hide behind his mask and pretend everything was going to be all right. He needed to be able to handle Carol's burdens without shattering to pieces like he was now. They were a team, and to be a team, he had to pull his share. He wasn't right now. He wasn't even pulling himself out of the hole his mother, his father and his brother had dug for him when he was just a boy. A hole he'd continue to dig himself once they were gone without noticing.

He felt a kiss being placed on the base of his neck, and he inhaled shakily, deeply, choking on the scent of Carol's detergent, and he snuffled, knowing he was snotting and tearing all over her jeans, but he didn't care. He was too hollow to care. He realized then he wasn't bawling anymore. He was too empty for even tears, and his eyes simply burned at that truth. God, what was wrong with him?

He laughed bitterly at that thought and wrapped his arms around Carol's waist, burying his face now in her stomach. She inhaled uncomfortably, but she smoothed his hair down, hushing his gasping sobs and telling him softly that she was here.

* * *

"I have a book I'd like you both to read." Denise said this after Daryl went silent. It'd been about thirty to forty minutes later. "I don't mean to seem arrogant in knowing your pain, but Carol and I did talk about your…erm, childhood, so I am aware of the abuse."

Daryl shuddered and inhaled deeply, sucking in part of Carol's shirt and coughing it out silently. Only Carol was aware, so the smile she wore was lost on Denise.

"It's about overcoming childhood abuse." She stood up and went over to the bookshelf. "I asked Glenn to bring me a copy a while back in case either of you wanted to talk about your abuse. Clearly, Carol, you didn't suffer from childhood abuse, and we've discussed your relationship with Ed, so this will benefit Daryl the most. I just want you both to read it, so Carol, you're aware of some of the differences in yours and Daryl's struggles."

She nodded. "That makes sense. I wouldn't want to trigger him."

"Words can help a lot with trauma, but sometimes it can be words thought to yourself." Denise selected the book from the shelf and brought it over to them. "Words, I find, can heal more than anything, and if you understand the outside causes of abuse then you can pull yourself out of the blame and see the truth in the abuser's actions. It helps relieve guilt and stress, and once that's out of the way, we can get the heart of the issue."

Carol accepted the book. "Thank you."

"No, thank you for taking this huge step. Clearly, it's going to be a long road, but we'll get there." She rubbed his shoulder and tried to be supportive. "Want an oat cake?" They always made Charli happy when she had a tantrum. That and cuddles.

He snuffled once more and shook his head, sitting up, facing Carol, though his hair blocked his face. "I'll be all right."

"Are you sure? Because I can made some with dark chocolate. It's very healthy, and they're great for babies. I mean, Beth has been hounding me for more. I'm actually scared to go outside." She laughed lightly when he didn't and rubbed her hands together. "I'll put some in a bag for Charli."

"Thank you." Carol set the book down in her lap and waited until Denise was gone to grasped Daryl's face in both her hands and gently push his hair back. "Where's that face at?"

His nose twitched as he repressed a sneeze, blurry blue eyes landing on Carol's face, and she smiled lovingly at him. There was pride in that smile, and he didn't understand why. She shook her head before he could ask anything, and she kissed his cheeks, stroking his hair. It was the same thing she did with Charlotte when she was upset.

"Let's go home."

"You go ahead." He stood up and helped her to her feet. "I… I think I'm gonna stay and talk to her for a bit."

She nodded. "Whatever you need."

He bobbed his head yes and eyed the book under her arm. "C—could I keep that? Just don't want Charli to read it."

"Of course." She handed it over and set her hands on her stomach, groaning softly. "At least one of us has their issue resolved."

"What's going on?"

"I don't know, but I'll see Mordin tomorrow about it." She kissed him. "Probably knots from today."

"You sure?"

"Worry about yourself, okay? Your mental health is more important than some cramps. I'm fine." She exhaled and smiled at him, raising her hand to stroke his cheek. "I am proud of you, Daryl Dixon."

"How? I just sat here and cried."

"Daryl, do you know how many times I've sat and cried it out?" She searched his eyes and laughed softly with love. "It's a first step. Trust me."

He kissed her palm when she lowered her hand, and he said something that made her tear up. "I don't think we were stuck. I think  _I_  was stuck."

"Well, let me get some gravel, and I'll help you get unstuck." She smirked, and he laughed this time. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He leaned over and kissed her softly. "Don't wait up for me, okay?"

"Just be sure to wake me up when you get home." She smiled at him. "I like to know when you're home."

"All right."

They parted ways, Daryl went to find Denise, and Carol headed home, feeling more and more like her stomach was expanding. It felt like she'd eaten too many beans or something, and it was worrying. If she had an illness, if she had a cancer, they were royally screwed. Sure, there was a suspicious patch of grass in Spencer's back yard, but that wouldn't be a solution. It'd be part of one, and it'd help, but not in the long run. Not if this weight on her gut was as bad as she thought it was.

Or maybe it was all in her head. She'd been so stressed out and her body was exhausted. It was likely the affects of the pressure of her previously crumbling relationship. She was too stressed out for her own good. It had to be stress cramps. She'd had them before, but she had forgotten. Phew. She was seriously starting to worry, but it'd be okay. It would be okay.

* * *

Daryl wrapped up a three-hour long session with Denise and rubbed his eyes dry as he headed for home. He ran into someone on that way, and he wasn't in the chatty mood after three hours of pouring his heart out, but it was good to see his face. He couldn't deny that.

"Hey." Rick held a basket full of canned goods from the pantry, likely going by there on his way off patrol to get food for dinner. "What are you doin' out so late?"

"Just…out and about." He shrugged his shoulders. "Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Grabbin' some items for dinners." He gestured to the basket. "I needed some fresh air myself. The kids want combat trainin'. I…can't agree, but I can't disagree either. Judith is fine, you know. She's old enough. She's capable. But RJ? He's only six."

Daryl smirked to himself at the familiar conversation. "Let him. He'll need to prepare for the world."

"You think?"

"After everything that happened at the Kingdom and what happened with Charli at Seaside, yeah, I know."

"That's true." He exhaled. "You two have been through so much in the past couple of weeks. I hope it gets better."

"Yeah, me too." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, man, I just wanted to…apologize for any attitude I've given you recently."

"Don't mention it. Your kid was missing. You're allowed to be a little rude." He chuckled. "You're a good dad and a good person. I… I hope we can make amends and be friends 'cause I miss you. I don't care how that sounds, I miss bein' friends with you."

"Yeah?" He smiled softly and nodded. "Kinda me too."

"Oh, kinda? I get a kinda?" Daryl laughed, and Rick stepped closer to him. "If you need me, or need someone to talk to who isn't Carol, come find me. I…owe you a lot, and I want to make it up to you."

"I appreciate that, Rick. I'll…take you up on that." He glanced at the sky and exhaled deeply. "I should get back. Carol has an early shift, and so do I."

"Yeah, yeah." He nodded. "See you around."

Daryl walked off and headed home with a smile on his face. He felt ten years lighter, and he wanted to find Carol and hold her. He wanted to watch his daughter sleep. He wanted to kiss Mika's brow and tell her how sorry he was for overacting about Henry. He wanted to do everything at all once, and he wanted to do it right now.

He jogged up the steps and paused at the sight of a guest on the pullout couch. He saw it was Henry and would deal with that later. He kicked off his boots at the top of the stairs to avoid waking anybody, and he checked in on the girls, seeing Mika and Charlotte were asleep in the same bed, both curled up with each other, and his smiled widened.

He opened the door to his and Carol's bedroom and found her asleep with a book across her belly. He climbed onto the bed and moved the book out of the way, that movement combined with the bed dipping caused her to rouse, and her eyes landed on his face. Her lips forming a smile at the mere sight of his smile, and he kissed her.

Hard. Hungry. Demandingly. His tongue slipped into her mouth and stroked hers, and she moaned, feeling for him in the dim lighting, and he let himself be found. She smiled against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer; he leaned back and lifted her up and onto his lap. She yelped at the sudden movement and pulled back, asking without speaking what had gotten into him, and he just laughed.

"Just let me love you," he murmured as he kissed the faded freckles along her nose and memorized her lips.

"Yes, please." She accepted his kisses and began to unbutton his over shirt, knowing it was a good thing the kids slept like the dead, because she could hardly contain her eagerness—meaning it was going to get loud—and she wanted to savor this. They hadn't made love in so long, and it felt so good to be so close to him. She'd missed him so much. She hoped nothing else came between them, because she couldn't take it. No more demons, no more gut-cramps, no more anything, just love. All she wanted was just love.

And he provided that love—and then some.


	30. Even When

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Maggie sat on the floor with Joss, playing with some toy rings and listening to Robin go over the terms of their agreement. Maggie wasn't sure of this agreement, but Enid seemed interested. They had been in talks for an hour now. They weren't coming to any arrangement any time soon. Maggie could only hope they could come to a compromise before snack time, because she promised Hershel they would feed the horses. Here's to hoping.

* * *

Carol woke up to the sound of kids playing and smiled, pushing herself up and feeling a fog of dizziness roll through her. She almost fell out of bed, but Daryl shot up and caught her. She tried to smile, but she felt sick, and she leaned back against him.

"Hey, you all right?" He checked her temperature to see she had a fever, and she frowned. "You're burnin' up."

"I can feel it." She brought a hand up to her mouth and gagged.

"Hold up." He slid out of the bed and grabbed the trashcan from the bathroom, handing it over to her just in time as her dinner came rising up and out of her throat. He caught loose strands of hair and rubbed her back.

Her throat contracted and expanded as she heaved, her eyes burning, and she gripped Daryl's arm for support. She spit once it was all out of her system, and she coughed deeply, a dry patch in her throat all that was left. She leaned back against the frame of the bed, Daryl set the can aside and bent down beside the bed, and she took a moment to catch her breath.

"You all right?" He checked her brow once more, and it was still burning up. "Let me take you to the doctor."

"It's nothing. Probably a hot flash gone wrong." She smiled weakly and sniffed. "Ugh, I think Mika's trying to make pancakes."

"I don't smell anythin'." He inhaled deeply and caught a whiff of somethin' foul a few feet away from himself. "Save for the barf."

"Oof, sorry." She laughed lightly. "I forgot for a second."

"I'm gonna take a shower then we're gonna go see Mordin."

"Oh, no. I am going to see him in my own time. And since when do I not get to shower?" She pushed the blankets back and stood up. "I will go see him after we shower, okay? You have duty, and I can be a little late if I have an excuse."

"My duty is to you first."

She couldn't help but smile at those heart-melting words. "Fine."

They took showers at the same time to speed the process up—respectively in the two bathrooms upstairs—and they headed downstairs to see Mika had burnt a few pancakes but managed to make a few eatable ones. Charlotte and Henry snacked on them, and Carol wanted to try one to be a good sport and support her daughter becoming an independent woman, but she couldn't stomach the thought of eating anything right now. She might heave.

"Wow, that's amazing." Daryl sampled the banana pancakes and smiled at her his oldest. "Got any more?"

"Really?" Her face lit up, and she handed him a plate with several pancakes on them. "Here you go!"

"Thanks."

"Mom, do you want some?" She had a bit more batter left. She was getting the hang of it now. She had burnt a good portion of the batter, attempting to try something new for herself and her boyfriend that didn't involve close contact and awkwardness. This was much more agreeable, and it involved less sweating. Well, mostly. It was hot as heck in here. "Or some juice? I made some orange juice, too."

"I'll take some juice." She sat down beside her youngest and stroked her hair.

Charli smiled at her mom. "Good morning."

"Good morning." She accepted the glass of juice from Mika and sipped it, glad to have something in her throat that wasn't coming up. It felt nice to drink something too. "How did you guys sleep?"

"Like a baby." Mika decided to use the last of the batter to make one huge pancake for herself.

"I have a pain in my neck," Henry admitted, "but it'll pass."

Charli shrugged a shoulder and continued to munch on her pancakes.

"You not sleep okay, baby?" Carol stroked her hair, thumbing the braid in her hair.

"I had a nightmare about the baby." She frowned. "He's cranky."

"Baby?" Daryl rubbed his hands on his jeans. "You mean Beth's baby? We don't know if it's a boy or girl. It's too soon to tell."

"It's a boy, that's all I know." She held her hands up. "And he's cranky."

"I'll bet he just wants some chocolate." Carol laughed lightly. "We'll drop some of those oat cakes off."

She nodded. "Can I help name him?"

"I don't think so." She looked at Daryl for support, but he was lost to the food. "It's their baby, so they'll name him."

"Well, can I name the fox?"

"Oh, not the fox." Carol buried her face in her hand. "Baby, please, don't mention the fox."

"But Mommy." She pouted. "I wanna name something."

"But he's mine," Mika reminded her. "I found him."

"We don't even know if it's a he, to be honest." Daryl pointed out. "And Maggie said she'd take a look, bein' a farm girl and all. She'll check it out later today. We'll meet up with her and the Rhees for dinner. How does that sound?"

"Yay!" Charlotte's face lit up again. "I love Hersh and Glenn and Joss. Oh, and Mags!"

"Yeah, me too." Carol winked at her and crossed her legs, feeling that expanding feeling once more in her stomach and praying for a moment it was just her imagination, because she was freaked out. If she didn't know any better, she'd think she was pregnant, but there was no way. She hadn't gotten her period in a long, long time, and she was experiencing hot flashes. She was out of her pregnancy prime. Even if eggs did tend to drop more during her age to result in multiple babies during a pregnancy. That was…

"I think I'll go see Mordin now. Um, Charli, why don't you have Daddy walk you to class?" She kissed the top of her head and stood up. "I'll see you all at the Rhee's." She walked out before anyone could argue. She all but ran to the clinic, her hair falling out of its twisted bun and falling down in waves around her shoulders. She panted and knocked on the clinic door rapidly until Mordin opened it and pushed his glasses up at the sight of her.

"Carol."

"I need a check up." She brushed by him and stepped into the clinic. "Like right now."

"Oh. What for? You tend to be in exceptional health." He closed the door and followed her to the gurney, where she'd sat and corrected herself down on.

"Please, just…humor me."

"What seems to be the issue?"

"Umm, let's see." She blew out a sight while he checked her blood pressure, which was elevated. "I've been getting sick out of the blue. I thought it was related to Charlotte being missing, but I got sick this morning, and that isn't like me."

"Uh-huh." He made a mental note. "What else?"

"My stomach." She leaned back and set a hand on her belly. "It feels like…it's stretching."

"Stretching?" He frowned. "How odd. How do you mean? Like bloated? Or perhaps some type of cramping that's moving more outward than inward?"

"Yes, I guess that's what you could call it."

"Are you pregnant? Babies do need room to grow, and that could explain the stretching feeling." He set a hand on her stomach and applied some pressure, and Carol shifted uncomfortably. "Does that hurt?"

"No, I just feel…nauseous." It felt like her stomach was pushing back against his hand also, but she didn't want to say that. "I… I think I must be crazy."

"Oh, I'm sure you're not. Plenty of women don't know their own bodies." He didn't see the insult on her face. "Schools are to blame. No one wants to talk about sex and periods and babies and such. It's shameful, should be "kept in the household"." He shook his head. "No. I don't believe that. The more you know, the safer you are."

"I know my body," Carol argued.

"When was your last period?"

She attempted to calculate a date. "Umm." She'd been spotting at the Kingdom, or maybe it was just discharge. She wasn't entirely sure. It came and went, but it wasn't like a period. She hadn't gotten any of that in the last few months. She assumed that part of menopause was over. She'd gotten the hot flashes. She was sure of it. God, she did live in the South, it was difficult to discern a hot flash from a heat wave.

"I see. Umm." He smirked tenderly at her. "You have a bump, Carol."

"A—a bump?" She sat up. "Like…cancerous?"

"What? No. I wouldn't be able to tell if it were just by touching you." He shook his head. "How active has yours and Daryl's sex life been in the past three months?"

She blew out a sigh. "It's been up and down."

"Do you use protection? Or does he pull out? Or nothing?"

"I—I'm not pregnant. There's no way." She laughed at him. "I know what pregnancy feels like. Especially after the surprise that Charlotte was."

He arched a brow at her and said nothing.

"I know my body." She felt annoyance dancing in her stomach now, devouring anything else. "I am not pregnant. I can't get pregnant. I can't."

"Then we might have a problem on our hands, because I know a baby bump when I feel one. I helped Beth with Monroe, and I'm helping her with this new baby, not to mention Maggie with Hershel  _and_  Joss. I know babies."

"I'm gonna be sick." She slid off the gurney and barely made it to the nearby trashcan to hurl.

* * *

Michonne and Morgan stood in front of RJ, Charlotte, Judith and Hershel, going over their staff training. Michonne had let Charlotte lead the first course, to use what Seaside had taught her, and Morgan improved upon that knowledge. Michonne was thoroughly impressed by how quickly the kids picked up on it, how serious they were about learning, and she was proud of them.

They were running this course as a temporary recess class to those who wanted in, and they would consider it a big success. They would have to add it to a permanent schedule since it was so popular. Michonne would have to speak to the parents, of course, but she knew they wouldn't mind. It was more of just keeping them involved in the program than anything.

Mika and Henry passed the class, finger interlaced, whispering to each other and kissing each other. They were a giggly mess of teenage love, and Michonne told them to keep it clean. Henry blushed and buried his face in Mika's hair, and Mika laughed, making no promises.

"I can't believe you have to leave with Morgan tonight." She groaned. "I miss you already, and you haven't even left. How is that possible?"

"Because you love me," he replied without hesitating. "And because I love you."

"Oh, yeah? You sure about that?" She turned to face him, lacing her fingers through his empty hand, and he nodded, kissing her deeply. She released his hands to wrap her arms around his shoulders and laughed lightly when he groaned at her breaking the kiss. "Mmm, I do love you."

"Then move back with me," he teased. "We can make it work."

"Oh, ha ha." She shook her head. "Not a chance. I have too many responsibilities around here, buster. You know this."

"I wish I could come to you, but Daryl would kill me."

"Dad wouldn't. He loves you."

"He loves you, and by Dad Code, he has to hate me. He has to want to kill me just a little bit, too, you know, in case I break your heart."

"You wouldn't."

He kissed her forehead. "I wish we had more time."

"We may not have all the time in the world, but we can make it count." She stood tall and smiled up at him. "Come home with me. My parents are out, and they won't be home for hours. I can ditch the rest of school and make my work up tomorrow."

"What would we do?"

She arched a brow at him and exhaled her nerves. "I think you know."

"Are you sure?" He whispered this, looking around to ensure nobody heard their conversation. "Mika, I…."

"I love you, and I want to make the most of the time we have together. I'm ready." She kissed him and grinned. "Besides there's nobody else I want."

"I love you, too, and I feel the same way." He hugged her tightly. "God, your dad will really kill me now."

She laughed. "Just walk really fast."

They ran off towards home holding hands, Michonne told them to be careful since they were in a little love bubble, and they waved before speeding up. Michonne shook her head and returned her attention to the kids, clapping as they finished their training and telling them soon they would practice with a real walker. Michonne would have to get the parents approval, but they had to learn for real, no more half-done experiences. If they wanted the children to survive, they had to know the cost, experience the cost, and that meant real time training.

"You did so good." Michonne wrapped an arm around her son and around Judith, pulling her in for a hug. "I am so proud of you guys."

"Thanks, Mama." RJ smiled at her.

Judith wrapped her arms around her mom's shoulders, snuggling close to her. "That was fun."

"It won't always be fun, baby." Michonne rubbed her shoulder. "You'll see what I mean."

"I know, Mom, but for now, can't it just be fun?" Judith inquired.

She kissed her brow and said nothing. It was a conversation for another day.

* * *

Aaron had made lunch for the three of them, slicing into the pie that Enid had made them as a thank you gift. Grace dug into the slice given to her, but Paul was picking at his. Aaron knew he liked the pie, they'd had it more than once over the years, but something else was on his mind. Aaron was tempted to probe him, but he'd let Paul come to him.

"What happens now?" Paul asked the table, looking at no one in particular.

"We eat dessert and someone helps me with my homework," Grace replied around a slice of apple.

He chuckled. "That's what'll happen tonight, but I mean big picture, Gracie."

She inhaled and looked over at her dad. "What does that mean?"

"It means not just tonight, but every night." Aaron met Paul's eyes and frowned. "What do you mean, what happens now?"

"I've been thinking about what happens to us now that we've gotten a leader for Hilltop." He set the fork down. "We've been together for years now, but my duty to Hilltop always kept us apart. Now that isn't an issue anymore. What happens now?"

This was a relationship talk. They'd just gotten the I love yous out of the way. This was the next big step, and it was right here. It wasn't a step. It was a current move. It was happening now right after lunch and in front of Grace. Great. This was just how he planned his lunches.

"Well, I'd consider moving," Aaron slowly suggested, trying to gauge Paul's reaction. "Given that the Hilltop no longer needs you…you could move to Alexandria with us."

"Really?" Grace exclaimed. "Yay!"

"No, honey, it's a suggestion," Aaron stated. "Paul hasn't agreed to anything."

"But Paul isn't opposed to it." Paul smiled softly. "I could use a change of scenery, and it's easier for me to move than for you two."

"You sure about that? I don't want you to feel pressured into making this decision."

"I am sure that I love you both," Paul remarked. "And I'm sure I don't want to miss anymore of your lives, so let's…do this. Let's live together."

Grace held back her excitement until her dad started to smile all wide and goofy. "Yay!" She shot up and hugged Paul, who pulled her onto his lap and squeezed her tight. "Best lunch ever."

"Yeah, definitely." Aaron joined them and kissed Paul. "Best lunch ever."

"I do have that affect on meals," Paul jested and accepted another kiss.

Grace wrapped her arms around his neck, Aaron bent down and rubbed her back, grasping Paul's hand, and Grace laughed happily, glad to see her dad so happy. She loved it. She hoped it stayed now that Paul was staying.

* * *

"There's no logical way this is happening." Carol braided her hair back and twisted it into a bun, pacing the length of the clinic. "I went through the change. I know for a fact I did. I cannot be pregnant."

Mordin sat on the gurney, arms stacked over his stomach, staring at the ceiling with empty eyes and wondering if he could fall asleep this way. He was not the doctor that doubled as a therapist. Oi.

"I—I—I seriously cannot be pregnant. I know I went through…." She paused and turned to face him. "Tell me what the chances are of someone who's rarely had a period and is in their fifties getting pregnant?"

"Well, they're not high, but apparently Daryl's sperm are go-getters." He was trying to make a joke, but she looked like she wanted to kill him.

"Okay, then why haven't I gotten pregnant in the last two years?"

"I can't answer that. Only you can. Did you use protection? Again—did he use to pull out? What happened in the last two years?"

"I—I don't know. I mean, I am aware of our sex life, and we used to pull out sometimes. And what protection? Condoms are so old. They'll worthless now." She heaved a sigh and crossed her arms. "I mean, I know my body when it comes to sex. So does Daryl. It's not…. I mean, it's…."

"It's?" He pressed.

"We weren't very active the first year at the Kingdom, because of how overworked Daryl was. We mostly cuddled and talked and built our relationship outside of sex for the first time. Then he got some help with the workload, and...we were more active sexually." She started to play over the last few months. "Why do I feel like I went through menopause if I didn't?"

"There's pre-menopause," he informed her. "You can naturally conceive a child during that stage."

"Yeah, but…." She exhaled slowly. "I feel like a fool."

"Don't." He sat up and turned towards her. "It sounds like your pregnancies have always been a surprise."

"They have been." Tears shimmered in her eyes. "I…didn't have the kindest husband, so…I never knew exactly when I was carrying, only when I lost them."

Mordin frowned. "I'm so sorry."

"It's in the past." She set a hand on her stomach. "And you're sure it's not cancer?"

He chuckled. "We can perform an ultrasound."

"That doesn't make me feel better about it, but let's do it. It's not like I have anything else to do today."

"Don't you have the wall soon?"

"Mordin, please, let's just get through the next twenty minutes."

He nodded and patted the gurney beside him. "You'll want to be laying down for this."

"I know the routine."

* * *

She walked in the house, seeing everything that had always been there and knowing nothing would be the same there. She felt tears roll up in her eyes as she touched the pictures Charli and Mika had drawn and hung throughout the year. It was beautiful, because they were pieces of her children. Her beautiful, altruistic, kind and tender children who she loved with her entire heart.

There was a clatter that came from upstairs, and she exhaled, shaking her head and climbing up the stairs. "Girls?"

"No, just me!" Daryl called from the bathroom, scrubbing mud from his hair as he hung only his head in the shower, too lazy and exhausted to properly shower. He'd deal with the rest to his body later.

"Well, I have some news for you, you overachiever." She headed into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. "What are you doing home early?"

"I slid and landed head-first in a pile of mud." He shook the water from his hair and blindly groped for a towel. He felt something soft and grabbed it, covering his head and vigorously scrubbing his head dry. "What's going on?"

"We need to talk."

He stepped out of the bathroom, only half dressed as his shirt was ruined by mud, and she took a moment to admire the revealed skin there. She was tempted to make use of the empty house, but that was how she'd gotten into this situation in the first place. "What about?" He let the towel rest on his shoulders.

"I…um, I am…." She trailed off and chuckled, bringing her hands in between her thighs and shaking her head. "I never thought I would get to say these words to you. I thought I could only imagine it, or dream about it, but it's really here. It's this moment right now."

He couldn't tell by the tears in her eyes if this was good or bad news, so he lowered himself down in front of her and grasped her hands in both of his. "Hey, hey, it's all right."

"Yeah, it is all right." She chuckled again and snuffled. "We're gonna need another room."

"What?" He frowned.

"Well, we have plenty of room in here for the first couple of years, but honestly, after a while, we're gonna need a spare room." She freed a hand and rubbed it under her nose. "I suppose the toy room could be remade into Mika's room, just put up some curtains or something."

"Carol, what are you talking about?"

She exhaled and met his eyes. "You remember that night on the way to the grove? When you told me…you want more kids?"

"Yeah, why? What does that have to do with anything?" He searched her eyes and found an odd answer there. He almost laughed. "Wait, you're not tryin' to tell me you're…. That we're…."

She slowly nodded and tried to smile but tears came first. "I'm pregnant. A few weeks over three months. I don't know how. I thought I was…. But then Mordin and I got to speaking, got to doing an exam…an ultrasound…and there he was…."

"He?" Daryl searched her eyes once more, her tears now his as he scanned, and he laughed lightly. "We're havin' a boy?"

"We're having a son." She whimpered and slid off the bed to be in his arms, burying her face in his shoulder, ignoring the scent of mud and clay there. She was overwhelmed by emotion and by what the doctors had told her. She was stumped, to be honest, that she'd gone through pre-menopause in the last few years, and with the natural supplements from Denise she'd been taking for her health and to encourage Charli to take them, she basically cranked her oven up to high for conception. And she didn't even know it. Denise didn't even know it. She just supplied them for the past six years for Charlotte's hair and health and apparently a side benefit of fertility. Well, it wasn't for specifically fertility, and Charlotte was in no danger of any early periods or anything, because it was meant to regulate the body. And apparently Carol was super fertile on it. And Daryl was an overachiever regardless.

"You thought you were pregnant and didn't tell me, though?" Daryl leaned back to view her face.

"I thought I had some type of pelvic cancer, to be honest." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I never thought I was pregnant again. I didn't feel…anything like I did with Sophia, and I didn't feel anything with Charli until I was in distress. I—I—I don't know what's going on with my body anymore."

"I never did." He said to be encouraging, but she whimpered and cried some more. "Hey, it's okay. It's all right. I'm here. We'll get through this together."

"I just don't understand why it's always a surprise." She snuffled and met his eyes. "Before us…when I was with Ed…I never knew I was pregnant either. I…just knew what I'd lose them."

He frowned and tried to comprehend that statement. "When you'd… Oh, God, Carol, I—"

She shook her head. "It's okay. It's not… It doesn't change anything to be sorry. I've mourned them, and it's not okay, but I've made my peace with it. I…I just…wish it wasn't a denial trigger. Like with Charli? I thought I had to be insane. And with this baby?"

"Hey, you are not insane." He cupped her cheeks and smiled lovingly at her. "Ed ain't here. It's just us and our kids and this new life. I'm scared, to be honest. I… I know what I said about wantin' more kids, but I was just saying that to say mostly. Now it's a reality, and I'm terrified. Happy but terrified."

"We'll be fine. We'll get through it together. I mean, we've already raised two girls, so why not a boy? We'll make it work."

"Kinda have to." He smirked and pushed hair back from her face, kissing her softly. "I love you, and this is just…another adventure, right?"

"Full of screaming and poopy diapers and teething rings, but yeah, I suppose it is." She smiled back at him. "We're going to become a family of five. I kind of always wanted a big family."

"Here lately…so have I. Figured it'd be the damned fox but guess not."

She chuckled. "That fucking fox, man."

He laughed now, too, and kissed her brow. "Guess we won't the grandparents of a bouncing baby fox."

"Nope, just the parents of a bouncing baby boy in…oh, six months? Give or take."

"Give or take," he nodded. "Gives us six months of therapy to get ourselves together."

She wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "What do you mean? I thought we were fine as a couple."

"But as parents we have obstacles to overcome, and we'll have time to do that. Well, we'll have a time frame to repair the issue in." He smiled at her and inhaled deeply. "Marry me."

"Okay, you just said you didn't want to get married, and you cannot propose to me because I'm pregnant. I will not be a shotgun bride." She shook her head and stood up, sniffling. "No way, Dixon. No way."

He smirked at her from the floor and sat back with his legs crossed, resting his hands on his ankles, saying nothing.

She walked away from him and wiped her eyes, turning back to see if he'd changed his mind, but that damned smirk remained. "No!"

"I ain't askin' you to marry me 'cause you're pregnant," he remarked. "I'm askin' 'cause the only thing I believe in, in this world wide world anymore is us. And I want us to be together in all ways—as friends, as lover, as…parents…as husband and wife. I want to die knowing I had you in all ways."

"That's possessive," she joked with a soft smile on her lips.

"You know what I mean." He climbed to his feet and grasped her hand. "I've been lost all my life till I met you, and now that I'm here…conscious and living…I want to marry you, to raise our kids right and steady, and to be united front against Ila and the Shah. She can't come between us. Nothin' will."

She laced her fingers through his, warming to the idea of marriage. "I don't need a ring or vows to be all of that with you."

"I know you don't, but let's make it official. Let's show this town what…we've always known."

"That you really like when I—"

"Hey," he cut her off with a grumble and a blush, and she giggled. "Be serious, woman."

"I  _am_  serious."

"Then seriously answer me. You haven't given a yes or no."

"I've given you all of me over the course of our entire relationship. Whatever made you think I wouldn't give you this, too?" Her full smile blossomed and captured what was left of his heart. "But promise me no big ceremony, no dresses, no party, nobody. Just us and our kids—celebrating the life we've made and loving each other while recognizing all that really means."

"Promise."

And he sealed it with a kiss to her lips.


	31. Baby Boy

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Carol woke up to the sounds of bickering, and in drifted the voices of Mika and Charlotte, both yelling over the other to get their point across, and Daryl buried his face in her shoulder, holding her closer. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable by moving, but she couldn't stand by and let the girls argue. They had been going at it like cats and dogs lately, and for no real reason, so she had to get up and set them straight.

"No," Daryl grumbled against her shirt.

"Yes." She slipped out of his grasp, he fell off the side of the bed, catching himself instantly to simply be hanging there, and she ruffled his hair before walking off. She headed down the hall to find Mika at the bottom of the steps and Charlotte at the top, and Charlotte was about in tears while Mika was plugging her ears and making noise to drown out her little sister. "What is going on?"

Mika opened her eyes at the sound of a new voice and removed her fingers. "She wants me to help her down the stairs, but I have to leave. She's a big girl. She can come down them on her own."

"I'm scared." Charlotte wrapped her arms around her mom's leg and buried her face there, pouting. "I had a bad dream."

"I'll be fine." Mika placed her hands on her hips, and she smiled softly, trying to get her sister attention from their mom's pant leg. "Hey, Charli, I'll be okay. I just really have to go and meet Morgan. We have to prepare a training course for you kids. If I don't do this, I might fail my life class. I've never failed anything, and I won't start now, so excuse me."

"Hang on." Carol tenderly removed her daughter from her leg and bent down. "What was your dream about, baby?"

"Ila's watching us. I know she is." Her lips trembled as tears appeared in those big, blue eyes. "Mommy, don't let her go outside. Ila's gonna be there."

"No, she won't be. We're safe, honey. That woman and her people are long gone." Carol didn't believe it, but she had to sell it to make it a reality. She could only hope it worked, because she didn't want this to continue. That woman working nightmares over her baby girl. She would sooner kill her than to let Charlotte suffer nightmares and anxiety over that bat shit band of loons.

"No." She buried herself in her mother's body as best she could. "Don't let her go."

Carol stroked her hair and picked her up, cuddling her close. "Mika will be just fine. Daddy and I will stay home with you, and we'll go watch her train with Morgan. It'll be fine."

She whimpered softly, big tears in her eyes, and she nodded. "I don't like it."

"I know, but remember what we said about compromise?"

"Halfway happy."

"That's all we can offer right now." She rubbed her back and set her down on the floor. "Go get Daddy, okay? Let me talk to Mika."

She ran off down the hall to her parent's bedroom where her dad was still lying down but partly awake. She ran over to the bed, he smiled and scooped her up into his arms, rolling them over so that she was lying in Carol's spot. She giggled and kissed his cheek, and he kissed her the top of her head, hushing her worries without even trying, and while she still didn't support the idea of going out today, she supposed she was halfway happy with it. They were stronger together. They always would be.

Downstairs Carol asked Mika to be careful while out with Morgan, and she said she had to talk to her at dinner. Carol hadn't told anybody about the baby, made Denise and Mordin swear not to spill the beans as well, and they would decide when to announce the news. Carol had suggested telling them over dinner, because it was the only time they would sit and be quiet for more than ten seconds, and it felt right. Carol could devour the entire meal while they sat in shock. It was hopefully a joke, but she felt a hunger like no other when she was pregnant with Charlotte. She didn't want to relive that. It was horrible. She would go out hunting and return with a deer—or a pig one time—and eat it all throughout the day while Denise watched in probably horror. There was no sharing and no leftovers. Ever. She was a bit of a savage. She would've liked to have blamed Daryl, but it wasn't his fault. Getting pregnant was partly his fault, but not the hunger. That was all her.

"I'll be fine, Mom. I'll see you at dinner." She hugged her briefly and headed out the door. She exhaled deeply and jogged down the street to meet Morgan. They were catching walkers for training with the kids. They would remove the arms and jaw before they let them train, but still. It was better to have the real thing than some stationary practice dummy. She just hoped it helped more than it hurt.

"Hey." Morgan smiled at the sight of the cheerful teen. He'd been waiting by the gate for the last twenty minutes, knowing Mika might have to tangle with her clingy little sister before coming to join him. He didn't mind the wait, and he was glad about it. To have siblings and a child in the life was a blessing, and he was glad he was able to see it. To experience the joy and the love she felt almost as though it were his own. She projected them on the world, and she painted the world with such lovely hues.

"Hey." She jogged over to him and grinned at him. "Sorry I'm a little late. Charli had a bad dream and projected it onto me."

"It's all good." He moistened his lips. "What kind of bad dream?"

"Who knows? Ila's people really did a number on her." She lost her smile a bit. "I just have to live my life, you know? I can't let her bad dreams stop me. All I can do is try and find…some way to be okay with Ila until it comes to a head."

"Comes to a head, hmm?" He shifted his weight and gripped his staff loosely. "You don't believe she's gone?"

"No. She's still out there, waiting. I don't know what for, but I hope we beat her to the punch and get her off our back." She didn't want to outright say she wanted her dead, because she didn't. She was sure she had some type of trauma in this world that broke her mind, made her think the way she did, and while it was okay to do all she's done, maybe it wasn't all on her. She wasn't sure, because she'd never met the woman, sat down and had a conversation with her, but she wasn't going to make her guilty before knowing her motives. At least somewhat knowing them.

Morgan decided not to comment on that and decided them to head out. They left with a bag of supplies and a promise to return before nightfall to Tara, who was on the wall and anointed herself godmother over Mika and Charli simply through dating Denise. They'd been going steady for a while now, so she had the right. Sort of, anyway.

About halfway through the trip, Morgan noticed Mika was distracted. He wasn't sure what was on her mind, but she seemed out of it. This wasn't the type of trip where being lost in one's thought was okay. They had to be alert and capture walkers, not simply kill them, and they couldn't afford for any hesitation. He didn't want to return to Carol with an infected daughter. He couldn't do that to her or to himself. Knowing she'd already lost one daughter to walkers, he wouldn't stand by and let it happen again.

"Is everything all right?" Morgan inquired at the young woman when she blew out her seventh heavy sigh, and Mika jumped, almost as though she'd forgotten he was there with her. She tried to laugh it off, but he could see there was real issue behind the laughter. She wasn't an air headed child. So there was an issue. Something she wanted to share. Perhaps he could lend an ear.

"Everything's great." She was lying, and she could tell he knew. She could tell by her tone something was wrong, and she could hardly hear it over the pounding of her heart. She had to stop for a moment and remember that this wasn't just about her anymore. Or maybe it was. She couldn't be sure. She was so anxious….

"Mika." He stepped walking and set a hand on her arm. "I'm not your parents. You can tell me if something is wrong."

"But you'll just tell my parents." She knew it was silly to whine. She was almost an adult. Well, not really. She was going on sixteen when the weather changed, and she clearly was not in the mindset of an adult if she was hiding this. She needed to clear the air and tell her parents what was possibly going on with her. She didn't want to make it awkward. Perhaps she was simply awkward in her thinking and movements and caused it to spill into the air. God, why did it have to be so complicated?

"That's your job—to report to them. It's not mine." He smiled encouragingly. "What's going on? Problems with you and Henry?"

"No, we're fine. We're better than fine." She smiled lovingly at the thought of her beau then frowned and dropped her hands to her sides. "If I tell you, promise me you won't tell my parents. I need to figure it out for myself before I tell them. If I tell them."

" _If_ you tell them?" He arched a brow. "You should be open with your parents at all times. They raised you and love you. If anyone will offer you forgiveness…or understanding…it's them. But I am here for you—without judgement—for as much as you need me."

Her eyes tingled with tears and appreciation at his words. She turned to face him and exhaled deeply. "I think I might be pregnant."

Internally Morgan had dropped his staff and stared with wide eyes at the child, but externally he nodded at her words, clicked his tongue against his teeth and murmured a series of "Okays". He knew she and Henry were very lovey dovey, but he didn't expect them to be sexually active so young. He waited until he was at least seventeen to take that step with his honey, but those rules apparently didn't apply in this world. Wow. He didn't know how to handle this. He expected a bad thought about her sister, not this. He wasn't equipped to handle this. Damn. He wished Carol were here, but she had to help out at the schoolhouse or some other task today.

"I know how close you are to Henry, having helped with his training, so I thought…maybe you could offer me some advice. Rick said you had a child, so you know how this goes. And you're the only person who won't lecture me on being with Henry in that way." She knew Mama Michonne would lecture and scold her for being so careless in her physical relationship with Henry. Rick would stand there and support her as he always did. Beth was too busy with her own baby dramas, and Maggie would probably have a cow and then chuck it at Henry from the distance between their two towns. There was no easy person to turn to for this conversation, but someone was better than no one. Especially if she actually was.

He couldn't but reply the actions of Will Smith on Fresh Prince when he caught his mama in bed with someone. He was tempted to mirror the actions just to escape this conversation, because he had nothing to offer her. He had no words. He had no advice, only to speak to her mother and to Henry. They were the most important two to speak to about this. He wasn't sure if Daryl was a good person to have in the room as he was as experienced as Morgan in this area, only he had years as Mika's father, not simply her friend. There was seldom anything simple about this.

"Honestly, Mika, all I can offer is this: I don't think I'm equipped to help you with this…particular situation. I believe you need to speak to your parents about this. Or Denise. Whoever you feel most comfortable with." He smiled at her. "They'll have your back either way."

Her nose scrunched at the idea of speaking to Mom about having had sex with her boyfriend when nobody was home. They had been careful. They used a condom, but it was old, so it broke. She didn't know how to tell that to anybody, let alone her mother and father and probably her nosy little sister. She couldn't do that. No frigging way.

"Oh, a walker." Mika laughed lightly and blessedly for a change in subject. "I got it."

Morgan watched her pull the machete from her belt and whack off its arms, carefully dodging its mouth before tripping it to hack off its jaw carefully. It was a little disgusting, and Mika must have felt the same because she gagged and almost retched, but her stomach was stronger than her nose somehow.

"God, it's going to be a long day," Mika murmured to herself and stood up from straddling the walker from behind. Hopefully she wasn't pregnant and didn't have to deal with this adult problem right now in the middle of her teenage years. She wasn't ready to be a mother. She wasn't ready for it at all. God, she needed a miracle.

* * *

Carol walked Charli to class that day, reminding her that it was just a bad dream, and it was just a little spill from imagination that made it seem so real. Charlotte nodded and hugged her, lingering on the hug for a moment and pressing her ear against the part of her mommy's belly she could reach, and for a moment Carol suspected she knew about the baby. That she could sense it or feel it, because children were perceptive like that sometimes, but Charlotte said nothing. She walked into the classroom like nothing odd had happened and joined her friends.

Carol headed over to the clinic to talk to Denise and to meet Daryl, and she found Denise and Daryl shoulder to shoulder, whispering about something and laughing softly. It would have warmed her heart if she didn't know them as well as she did.

"All right, what has he told you?" Carol placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him. "What did I miss?"

"You're pregnant." Denise turned around, grinning from ear to ear and squealed softly. "I'm sorry, but aside from the lumberjack farts and the hunger, you are so cute when you're pregnant."

She heaved a sigh. "I do not have lumberjack farts."

"Oh, you so did when Charli." She nudged Daryl, who turned around with a confession of "yeah, you do" on his face, and Carol scoffed, crossing her arms. "It's all a part of the process."

"Bite me." She gestured to her stomach. "And I don't if you want to see this baby."

"Okay, fine. Hostile. Got it." She shot a look to Daryl and patted the gurney. "Sit. Let's see our newest member."

Carol hopped up onto the gurney, Daryl tried to help her up, but she had a handle on it. Denise tried not to chuckle at the look of worry crossing Daryl's face, but Carol knew her body pregnant. Denise was sure of that much. She knew how far along she was, how the baby was doing, how to lull the baby when it went into a kicking fit. It was precious.

"All right, let's see what we have." Denise probed her jelled belly for a moment until the image on the screen reflected the small life growing inside Carol. The quick heartbeat filled the room, like a train on a track, and moisture filled her eyes at the sight of baby boy Dixon.

"That's our baby," Carol whispered to Daryl, bringing her hand up, and he clasped it in both of his and declared, "That's a heartbeat."

"It's a boy, but you both already know that. Here are his toes...aww, his little legs. So cute. I'm gonna be kissing those chunky thighs once he's born."

Carol laughed lightly. "Me, too."

"He's being so good, practically posing for us. Good baby." Denise loved Carol's babies. She loved the whole end process with Carol. It was a bit horrifying, yeah, but the end result was so beautiful and special. She was so grateful to be here for the second time. "Here's his head, and all I can say is ouch."

"Thanks for the support."

"I am supportive, which is why I'm honest. Ouch again." She set the prob down once she'd gotten a good side imagine of baby boy Dixon and handed Carol a towel to wipe the jell off. "I'll let you two be alone. But know that I am fully in support mode of Carol, so you better be on your best behavior, Daryl. This is my sister, and I know so many ways to hurt you without killing you." She pointed a wagging finger at him and headed out.

"She might seem adorable," Carol cemented, "but she's serious."

"I know. We had that talk." He set a hand on her exposed belly and felt the slight bump there. It was almost like before, barely noticeably and looked more like loose skin than anything, and he shook his head. "Hey, little man, it's your dad."

Carol smiled instantly at this conversation and rested her head against the back of the gurney.

"I just wanted to say hi and that I can't wait to meet you." He gulped down his emotions to keep from crying all over Carol and this moment, but he couldn't stop his lips from trembling. "I dreamed about your mom for years and years and thought I'd lost the best person to come into my life. I thought I was gonna be left alone all over again in the dark...but then…she came back to me. She came back with your big sister, and now here we are expectin' you." He snuffled and cleared his throat. "I can't wait to hold you in my arms and raise you in a way I didn't raise Charlotte but know that I will love you the same. I'll be there for you in all the same ways, and I'll be the best dad to you that I can be."

Carol squeezed his hand and blinked back tears of her own. It was going to be a good life, here with Daryl and their kids. This baby would know every second of how good of a life it'll be. She would ensure it, and so would Daryl. She sat there and listened to him converse with their son, sobbing softly at the love and joy she felt from his words, and they both made a silent promise to each other and to their children in that moment. It would be kept, no matter what.

* * *

Daryl headed out to meet Rick for an analysis of the walls and look for any weak points to reinforce, and he dried his eyes and kept the sonogram picture close to his heart. He couldn't wait to tell Charlotte and Mika about their new little brother, and he couldn't wait to see those little toes and fingers, kissing his head and continue to enjoy being a father to three kids. A fifteen-year-old, a six-year-old, and a newborn, though by the time he was born, Mika would sixteen and Charlotte would be on her way to seven. It depended on how early or late he was.

"Hey, you're late." Rick narrowed his eyes at him. "You look upset." He had never really seen Daryl cry. There was one time at the quarry when he told him about Merle, and the other time was when he told him about Carol being exiled from the prison. He knew it would take a lot to make him cry, so what the hell happened? "What's going on?"

"Nothin'." He exhaled deeply and continued to walk over to him, but Rick wasn't buying it. "Honest."

"That's bullshit. You've been cryin'." Rick clenched his fist in apprehension. "Is everything all right? Charlotte's good? Mika?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's all fine, man. Don't worry." He tried to smile, but it must have failed, because Rick looked even more panicked. "It's just…good news. Real good news." A natural smile bloomed across his lips.

"What news?"

"I—It's personal. Somethin' between me and Carol, but I'll tell you tomorrow. We just gotta work it out first."

Rick smirked then. "Wait—wait a minute. Are… are y'all getting hitched now?" He saw an answer in Daryl's eyes before it vanished entirely, and Rick chuckled. "I knew it. I knew after Michonne and I were married, y'all would follow. I mean you're a great couple—a powerhouse—and Carol deserves a man like you for the rest of her life. Well, you both deserve someone like the other for the rest of your lives. I'm happy for you, man."

"Well, yeah, we are getting married, but that's not the news I'm talkin' about. It's private for now." He didn't want to spill the beans and ruin the surprise for the girls. They were to be the third people to know. Of course, they were more like the fifth. Denise and Mordin knew. Carol had someone to chat about the baby with—her best friend and sister—and while he and Rick were still on rocky terms, they were managing to return to what they once were. Maybe it'd be okay to tell him. It was just one more person, a close friend—like Carol had. It wasn't like Rick would announce it to the world. It was just one more person. It'd be fine. And if it wasn't, he'd handle it.

"So…what other good news is there that'd make you cry?" Rick scratched his head for an answer and realized what else could be going on. He knew Carol was an older woman but still a healthy woman. It was possible that she was... But no. Right? Maybe? He could just ask, so he did. "Is Carol pregnant?"

Okay, it wasn't like he'd told. Rick had guessed, and all Daryl was doing by nodding was confirming the guess. It'd be rude to lie, after all. Carol wasn't about to marry a lair. Even if they did promise to wait for the girls, but he didn't tell, so the promise was intact. It was simply...a really good guess that Daryl was confirming, so he could talk about his son to someone he was going to be stuck with for hours.

"Oh, my God." A grin broke out across his face and shined in his eyes. "That's great news, Daryl. Wow." He was leaning in for a hug before he knew it, and luckily Daryl accepted it. "Congrats, man."

It was a new memory for Daryl. He'd been making them left and right, but this one was important. It was rebuilding a crumbled relationship, and it was becoming a father for a third time. It was about something so much greater than himself. He would do right by his son and his daughters and his soon-to-be wife. He would be a man of honor, a good and kind man, and he would be the best father they could ever ask for.

"I'm real lucky," Daryl admitted, "to have this life with her and our kids. I can't imagine who or where I'd be without them."

Rick nodded. "I understand that. And you deserve all of this."

"I'm gonna have a little boy," Daryl continued with a huge grin on his face, shining like the very sun above them, and he chuckled. "A little boy to break up my girly horde, man. Shit."

"Yeah, but that means more chances of bein' peed on. Baby boys seem to have perfect aim for the face."

He nodded. "I'm a good dodger."

"You'd think." He laughed softly. "I'm proud of you, Daryl. I'm lucky, too, to have you in my life. I can't wait to meet your and Carol's little boy. I'm sure he'll be healthy and happy and real beautiful."

"Yeah, with her as his mother, he's got no choice." Daryl could only imagine how this next step in his life would change it entirely. Charlotte would be a big sister. Mika would continue to be a big sister, and they would grow into a bigger family. They were leaving the best of themselves behind for this world, and as painful as the leaving would be, it meant the world would be better off for it.

* * *

A/N: I've been so busy with work, so here's a sample of a chapter. I promise more is coming. I just need time to write it. Caryl is love, guys.


	32. The Promised One

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Charlotte watched as the training walkers tried desperately to reach them, hungry eyes on every student in Michonne's course, and she inhaled deeply, titling her head to the side at them. She knew this was a necessary evil—as Mommy called it—but just like Mommy, she didn't agree with it. She had a staff ready and was able to reach the differently heighted walkers with it, but she didn't want to do this simply because someone else wanted her to. She wanted to fight walkers as though she had no choice, not this, but Mommy, Daddy and Sissy were watching, and she wouldn't let them down. She would slay the walker and make her family proud. Make herself proud and know for sure that she could do this.

Carol stood between Daryl and Mika, watching the small class take a hold of their staffs and ready themselves for the final of the course. Carol could feel the nervous energies pouring off her love and her daughter, and she could only imagine what was pouring off herself. She knew her daughter had training with Theodora and with Michonne and even with Carol herself, but she still worried somehow Charlotte would get hurt. She was only six years old, after all. Anything could happen.

"All right." Michonne held a hand up in the air and instantly caught the attention of her students. "Today is the final for this course. We've trained hard for this. You will know what you're made of by the end of this lesson, and don't worry—we're here to help you through this. So be afraid. Be true to yourself. Just don't run. Keep the line and keep your feet planted. You can do this. There is no pass or fail here. There is only a lesson to learn."

Charlotte heard some mumblings on the no pass or fail comment and decided to block them out. She gripped her staff and exhaled, feeling a hand on her shoulder, and she looked over to see Judith beside her. She smiled at the sight of her and nodded, finding her resolve, and Judith took out her katana, showing Charlotte a way to hold her staff, and they both looked up when her walker was brought over.

"Charlotte, you ready?" Michonne held it by the back of its shirt.

"Yes, ma'am!" She planted her feet like she'd been told, and Judith mirrored her, taking up her normal stance, and Charlotte echoed it with one of her own. She inhaled the breeze coming her way and focused in on the walker Michonne had just released. She charged for it and thrust the sharpened edge of her staff into its soft forehead, noticing only seconds before her staff pierced through that there was a crown on its brow. She dropped the staffed instantly and panic swarmed her. "Mommy!"

"Charlotte?" Carol ran over to her with Daryl and Mika on her heels, and they reached her at the same time. She was in tears, crawling into her daddy's arms, and Carol lowered herself down beside her to see if she'd been hurt somehow, but she was fine. "What happened, baby? What's going on?"

She couldn't speak. She was lost to hysterics, and she buried her face in her daddy's shoulder, little hands digging in.

"Mom." Mika removed the staff from the walker's brow and revealed the partial crown that remained intact from the finishing blow. "It's Ila."

Carol saw red instantly and stood up, approaching the walker and looking it over, noticing a piece of white sticking out from its pocket. She yanked it out carefully and unfolded it, finding a letter for her. She read over the letter and clenched her jaw.

_Hello, Mother Carol. It is nice to see you doing so very well. I have missed seeing you of late, but I hope to change that. I wish to meet you, to explain, to educate. It is important to me to do this for you. It is never too late to learn how the world truly operates, and I am a good teacher. Come to me in the glen with the marked trees by tomorrow night. You may bring your love if you wish, but don't bring the child. She needs her rest. Kiss her little cheeks for me, dear. At least until I do this myself. -Ila._

"Damn it." Carol handed the letter over to Mika to read and turned back to her daughter and Daryl. "It's Ila."

Daryl picked Charlotte up off the ground and cradled her against his chest as he neared Carol and Mika. "Is it just her walker?" He rubbed her back to sooth her.

"I don't know."

"What's happening?" Michonne had to handle the next walker before she could come and see what had happened with Charlotte. It'd been a clean kill, but she'd panicked at the end. It wasn't like her. She was a strong child, very like her own daughter, and this reaction wasn't like her. She had support of friends and family, had even killed walkers before, so why the tears? What hadn't Michonne seen?

"The walker's one of the Shah's." Mika handed over the note at her mom's gesturing. "She wants to meet me."

"What?" Daryl looked over Michonne's shoulder to read the note and frowned. "No, no fuckin' way are you going."

"I have to." Carol set a hand on her daughter's back, overlapping Daryl's hand and gripping it tightly. "This wasn't a request, and I have my questions of my own. I'll be fine."

"You realize you may be walking into an ambush, right?" Michonne questioned.

"I'm aware it might be a trap, yes."

"Good, 'cause I'm going with you," Daryl stated.

"Daryl, it just says for me to go. It implies I can bring you, but I know she just wants me."

"I don't care what she wants or even you in regards to meetin' this nutcase. I'm goin'." He locked his eyes in her eyes and stared her down unflinchingly. "You can't stop me from goin' with you. You need backup. You can't go alone."

"I doubt she'll hurt me. Especially now." Carol almost touched her belly, but her hand was too tightly balled in a fist at her side. She knew the Shah were keeping tabs on Charlotte and by keeping tabs on her, they were aware of Carol and Daryl and likely their son. She couldn't rule it out. They appeared to have eyes everywhere. "I'll be fine."

"Okay, what is going on here?" Michonne wasn't referring to the note. "Why are you talking like that?"

Carol inhaled. "I'm…pregnant, and while that does change the circumstances, that doesn't mean I shouldn't go."

"That's exactly what it means." Michonne folded the note and handed it to Daryl. "You cannot put that baby in danger. I know it's just a meeting, but we don't know her true intentions. She could plan to kidnap you. Or kill you. It'd make it easier to get Charlotte. You have to see that."

Of course she saw that. If she were to die by the hands of Ila, Daryl would not only lose his partner but his son. He would be sent into a downward spiral he might not be able to recover from. Mika would be forced to become a mother figure to Charlotte. Charlotte and Mika both would suffer the loss of her unborn brother, her mother and her father. While other people would pitch in support, it wouldn't be enough to make up for the gap Daryl might inadvertently cause their daughters. It would be ruin to all they wanted for their life and their girls.

"I can't miss an opportunity to learn about the enemy, or to possibly capture their leader. I'm sorry. I can't not go, Michonne." She met her eyes and hoped she understood. This was for her daughter, to take power back from the boogeyman. She had to do this. For Charlotte and for her unborn baby boy and honestly for herself. She wanted to stare down the enemy and know there was nothing to be afraid of. She wanted to look into her eyes and see the human buried deep inside of her, to know maybe they weren't so different. Both women warped by the world and only Carol came out of it whole. Or maybe Carol could see something much darker…something beyond the sickness in her soul…something twisted and unfeeling and empty. Either way, she had to know. They had to know.

She heaved a sigh. "There's no changing your mind, is there?"

"Mom." Mika gripped her hand tightly. "Please, don't do this."

Charlotte looked over at her mommy and snuffled, and Carol looked back into those beautiful blue eyes filled with tears and steeled her resolve. "I'll leave in a few minutes."

"Mommy." Charlotte lifted her head and gripped her daddy's shoulders tightly, frowning. "Don't go."

"I'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah, we both will," Daryl pointedly commented.

The lesson was over shortly after the walkers were searched for notes by the Shah—there were no other notes. Michonne passed the class with flying colors as they each eliminated their assigned targets. They would be given a job to shadow for a week to give them an idea of what their adult lives would be like, but that was for another day. Michonne called it a day and told them to go home and relax, to study up, and she escorted Carol personally to her home for a talk on how to handle the Ila and the Shah.

"We can't do nothing." Carol stood in the living room while Daryl tried to get Mika and Charlotte to leave, but he was having no such luck. "I have to go. I have to see what she wants."

"Why you? And why alone? For all we know she just wants you dead."

"And for all we don't know, she might just want to speak to me. Person to person, and if that's the case, I cannot say no. I'll take Daryl with me, let Ila know the situation is in our hands, and we'll play it carefully." Carol knew the risks here, and she couldn't walk away. This was her daughter they were taking about, and they couldn't ignore this message. If they did, Ila might just show up here in the night and steal Charlotte away or worse.

"Take Daryl with you," Daryl grumbled. "I ain't a dog. I'm gonna be seen. She'll know you ain't alone."

"No, you'll hide in the treeline."

"Like hell I am! That's my baby in there." He pointed to her. "It's my kid she wants out here, and you're gonna be… I mean, you're already…." He swallowed hard. "I ain't gonna hide."

Michonne could see this conversation no longer included her, and she shook her head, disappointed in Carol's decision yet not surprised. She was the type to go in almost entirely alone, even when pregnant. She couldn't talk her out of this, but she could arm her and be there alongside Daryl. Three on one was a better bet, especially since Ila wasn't going to play fair, and it likely wouldn't just be her.

"But the baby will be at risk." Mika shot up off the couch, stamping out her excitement about the baby to point out facts. "I object to that right there. It's too much stress for your body, and stress is always bad for babies, especially high-risk, unborn babies."

"High-risk?" Daryl inquired, not having heard that word associated with Carol's pregnancy, and he didn't like that he was hearing it now from his daughter. If it was the truth, why hadn't anybody told him? "How do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, Carol's not… Mom isn't like Beth. Since she's older, every pregnancy is to be considered high-risk. Stress could result in losing the baby, or worse—a premature birth." Mika was thoroughly upset, and it reflected in her voice. It was becoming a whisper of a sound, and her eyes burned. "We don't have the tools to handle a premature birth, Mom. You know that. It'd just die and become a walker, and I can't see you go through something like that. Please, please, don't do this."

Carol set a hand on Mika's shoulder and pulled her into her arms, speaking lovingly and softly. "Hey, it's all right to be upset with my decision, but you don't get to make it for me, sweet girl. I have to do this to protect my babies—all three of them. I don't know what Ila intends for Charlotte, but I have to find out. I have to prepare our defenses for when the time comes. You must understand that, right?"

She nodded. "I still hate it."

"I know. I'm honestly no fan of this plan either, but we gotta do what we gotta do and hope for the best outcome." She stroked her daughter's hair and kissed her brow. "I have to believe I'm pregnant now to deliver a healthy baby boy, not to lose him or myself in the process."

"It's a boy." Mika lifted her head to view her mother's face, and Carol nodded. "I'm going to have a little brother?"

"Yeah, you're gonna have a little brother." She smiled widely at her child, and Mika embraced her tenderly. "I love you, Mika, but I still have duties to tend to as your mother. I can't let fear or stress compromise who I am and what I must do."

"Can I at least go with you?"

"No, I need you to stay with Charlotte."

She heaved a sigh but nodded. "Okay but come back soon."

"I will." Carol released her and looked over at Charlotte, who was pouting and almost in tears, and Carol looked at Daryl, who instantly moved to kneel down in front of her. Carol sat beside her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her—an arm Charlotte shrugged off. "What's going on?"

"I don't like this plan. I want Ila far away from us. I don't want us going to her." She stared down at her boots and tried to keep from crying. "Why can't she just leave us alone? I didn't ask for this."

"Oh, baby." Carol turned towards her on the couch, and Charlotte paused just a moment before climbing onto her mom's lap and hugging her tightly to cry. Carol stroked her hair and kissed her hair tenderly, Daryl grasped the hand Charlotte held out for him, and they consoled their daughter. It wasn't easy, because she was thoroughly upset about the situation. About Ila and what her people had done to her, what they were still trying to do to her. It only cemented Carol going tonight. She had to see Ila. She had to stop her. There was nothing more she wanted than to have that bitch out of their lives forever, and Carol would ensure she was gone. Tonight Ila would be out of their lives.

Charlotte calmed down, slowly winding down like a toy that had been twisted too many times, drifting off sleepily from the warm milk and honey Michonne had fixed for her. Judith was holding her hand now, speaking softly and lowly, as best friends do, and Charlotte dropped her head into Judith's lap and fell asleep. She hadn't mentioned a single word about her baby brother, but Carol knew it was the apprehension of Ila keeping everything else at bay. Soon they would sit and talk about the newest member of their family, and everything would be all right.

"Are you good to watch them?" Carol asked Michonne, preparing herself for the trip to meet Ila.

"Of course." Michonne nodded and looked over her shoulder at the girls, seeing Judith was stroking Charlotte's hair and talking to her as she fell asleep. She smiled at the sight of her soft girl and turned back to Carol. "Are you good for the trip?" Michonne didn't like that she had been talked into a babysitting position, but she would take it. She had a crew going with Carol, so ha. It was the only good surprise of the day.

"Yes, Daryl's gone to get my bow and quiver. I have my gun with me, and we'll be ready for her." Carol wasn't sure how this plan would work, because she was unsure of the numbers the Shah had. She hoped it was like Terminus. In and out with very little worries. Of course, she'd been shot then, but she'd be fine for this. Her body was strong, and she wouldn't allow herself to be in a life or death situation. She would walk out of there the same way she walked in, and Ila wouldn't be walking out at all. She would make sure of it.

Michonne hugged Carol tightly, catching her off guard, and Carol smiled softly, accepting the embrace. "Come back safe, all right?"

"Is that an order?" Carol teased.

"You're damn right it is." She squeezed her shoulders and released her. "Don't let her get into your head. I have a feeling that's her only goal for tonight."

She nodded. "My mind's a steel trap. She's not getting in."

"Good." Michonne held her at arm's length and smiled softly. "I can't wait to meet your baby."

"Yeah, me too." She laughed lightly. "I won't put him in danger. I promise."

"I know. Come home safe."

"We will."

"You'd better." Mika entered the room and beamed at her mom. "I hate that I can't go, but I'll radio Enid, Zeke and Theodora, let them know about this meet up. We'll see if we can worm out the rest of the Shah afterward. Carl has that team of volunteers ready, and Theodora is always ready to throw down against the Shah, so it'll be easy work."

"Good idea." Michonne lowered her hands to her hips and couldn't help how impressed she was with Mika "I'll join you, see how my son is doing."

"Cool." Mika set a hand on the doorframe. "Just let me know when."

"You got it."

Carol inhaled deeply and slowly released it, her heart increasing in its rhythm, and she said her goodbyes to her daughters and to Judith and RJ, telling them to send her love to Carl and Enid and Zeke; and she headed out to meet Daryl at the gate, finding him, Rick, Denise, Tara and Rosita waiting for her. She didn't even question the small group and thanked her soon-to-be husband for the backup.

"We wouldn't let you walk in there alone." Denise gripped a Hilltop spear and smiled at her. "That's my godson in there. I'm not about to let him walk into a field without a team behind him."

Rosita sheathed the machete and nodded. "Being true to myself as a warrior and a mother, I have to join you." Her features softened at the mention of being a mother and her dear Coco. "I want to fight to end this threat, because nobody hurts one of mine like Ila's hurting Charlotte and gets to live to tell the tale."

Tara tossed an arm around her girlfriend and Rosita and pulled them in close. "I am here for emotional support and blessed levity, but also to kick a bitch's ass for hunting children. This one's for Emily and for Charlotte."

Rick nodded. "I owe you the world for saving Carl, bringing Beth and Noah home, and for…what I did, what I said, and I need to make it right. I've started long before today, tryin' to make it right, and this feels right, so here I am. At your disposal."

Daryl peeked at his love's face for a moment, at the tears shimmering there from gratitude and likely his son being inside of her, and he nudged her arm lightly. "And I'm with you wherever you go."

"Thank you all so much." Carol smiled. "I really appreciate this."

"We know." Tara smirked. "C'mon, the car's outside with Glenn."

"Glenn's coming too?"

"Practically threw himself into the mix when he saw me collecting weapons," Rosita replied. "Maggie and he played a few rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who would come and he won."

Carol chuckled. "All right. Let's hit the road then." She met Eugene back the gate, and he set a hand on her shoulder, giving her an encouraging look before letting her pass through. She saw the SUV and readied herself for the trip, steeling her resolve. It wasn't every day she walked into a willing battle with a bitch who hurt her family after all. And it wasn't every day a bitch would come to an end for it, but that was price of her intentions. Ila had been wearing a target on her back for a long time, and it was only right a mother took that shot.

* * *

Michonne carried Charlotte upstairs to Judith's bed, removing her boots and pants carefully and covering her up. Charlotte cuddled up with one of Judith's stuffed animals and exhaled roughly, falling into a deeper asleep, and Michonne kissed her temple, eyes finding the crown carved onto her brow. She gently brushed her thumb across the scarring wound and shook her head, rising and heading out with Mika to call the other communities, leaving Judith in charge as RJ, too, had been put down for a nap. (The boy slept like Rick, so they had plenty of time.)

Maggie had the ham radio ready for them, Mika contacted Enid first to let her know about the meet up and the plan to end Ila, and Michonne noticed the shudder pass through her at the mention of killing Ila. She knew the girl wasn't no fan of killing, but it must be done. It was the new law of the land; kill or be killed.

 _"I'll let Carl know."_  Since it wasn't set in stone, she would keep the volunteer group just in case something went wrong tonight, praying it wasn't a bloodbath of their people against the Shah's.  _"Thank you for calling to inform me. It means a lot. I missed hearing from you."_

"Yeah, me too." Mika chuckled. "How are you doing?"

 _"It's been crazy busy at Hilltop. We've been trying to build a greenhouse for the harsher winter months, but it hasn't been working in our favor. I've contacted Theo's people for some aid in that area, and they'll be down next week to lend a hand."_ She shook her head and hoped it worked out. She was excited about it, so she was hopeful. She would will it into existence. It would work. It would be built. It would withstand the weather and help feed her people. It would.

"That's good." Maggie sat down beside Mika and laced her fingers together. "And you sound good, too."

 _"I am good."_ There was a smile in her tone, and she chuckled lightly.  _"I met someone, and he's been great. Real supportive. And Carl likes him a lot, too, so there's one judgement knocked off."_

"You met someone and didn't tell me?" Maggie groused. "I even called you last week and asked how you were!"

She giggled now.  _"I wanted to see if it was serious before I said anything. I'm sorry. I want you guys to meet, so I'll have to plan a trip down there. I miss you guys so much, seeing little Hersh and Joss. Ugh, they're little faces."_

"They miss you, too."

 _"Good. I made an impact."_  She tucked hair behind her ears and looked over at Carl.  _"Carl's here with me, by the way."_

Michonne spent a good minute catching up with her son, laughing and telling him RJ still wouldn't eat his veggies. It was so good to hear his voice, to know he was well without a shadow of a doubt, and apparently he, too, had met someone. They were just friends for now, but she could tell he wanted more than friendship. (A mother knows.) But he was taking it slow, and he would allow the relationship to bloom as it would. It was only a matter of time before it became what it was meant to become—friendly, romantic or otherwise. And Michonne was already planning a trip up to Hilltop to meet his new friend Astrid Banks.

After about a forty-five minutes conversation, Mika ended it to contact the Kingdom, and they were informed of the plan and what might go down tonight. Ezekiel wasn't fond of Carol walking into danger, but he did approve of the group going with her. He wished them the best of luck and reminded them of his visit next week to bring and get supplies.

"We'll see you then, King." Michonne said goodbye and contacted Seaside next, once more going over the plan Carol had and letting them know the Shah might no longer be a threat. Theodora happened to be on the radio and didn't believe it. She had been ranting about it for a good ten minutes, but luckily the end seemed near…

_"They have numbers, Michonne, in ways you can't imagine. It won't be as simple as cutting off the snake's head. It's like a hydra; another head will pop up, and it'll continue breathing and stealing kids and ruining lives."_

"Have a little faith," Mika weakly suggested, wondering just how many people were going to be there on Ila's side tonight.

 _"That is me havin' a little faith."_ She sighed.  _"You haven't been working against the Shah as long as I have. I just know it won't be so simple. I know you want it over—a quick victory—but it won't be. I can promise you that. If you need me and mine, please contact us. We'll be more than happy to help out with any Shah-related problems."_ Someone cleared their throat in the room, and Theodora rolled her eyes at her eyes.  _"Or any problem you might have. I…forgot about the agreements. We are here for you all."_

"Thanks, Theo." Maggie chuckled. "Have a good day."

_"Yep. Right back at you all."_

"Well, that was…informational." Maggie rolled her eyes at Theo's rant, but she knew deep down it was only for their best interest. She just didn't need a rant to know that was all.

"Yeah." Mika agreed. "I think I'm gonna go check on the kiddos." She hopped up and headed back for Michonne and Rick's house. She chewed her bottom lip and said a prayer for her family in danger and hoped to see them soon. She couldn't bear to lose another set of parents.

Back in the radio room, Michonne mentioned how Theo had a point about their numbers, and Maggie concurred. They would have to hunt down every last member of this cult to put a true end to their sickness. It might take years, but they would do all they could to run them out or kill them off. It was all they could do in this situation. Perhaps it would be an easy task. But on the likely chance that it wasn't, they were prepared with weapons and numbers of their down. That was a promise.

* * *

Carol stepped out of the car and walked a decent way away from the car before kneeling down beside a tree and puking up her breakfast. Daryl had noticed her taking a little hurried hike and followed her, catching her in the middle of upchucking, and he inhaled fresh air before moving in.

"Best to get it all out." Carol blinded reached for him, and he grasped her hand, her fingers tightening around his as she emptied her stomach. He rubbed her back and tried to not look at their breakfast coming out in reverse.

It took about ten minutes for the heaving and coughing to stop, Rosita brought over some water, and Carol thanked her. She said it was no problem and smiled at her, reaching over and lightly patting her tummy. Carol could already imagine how much tummy love she was going to get from this baby and wanted to cry just a little bit, but she would love it when it was happening. All round and pudgy, showing off the bump that was her son. It'd be perfect when it was happening. Currently, it was all wet and chunky grossness happening, so yeah, fuck "morning sickness".

"How are you feelin'?" Daryl looked her over but saw she looked good. A little sweaty from the sun and the puke but a good color. She looked healthy, resolved and ready. It didn't put his heart at ease, but it helped.

"I'm okay. Your son is just…carsick, apparently." She swished the water in her mouth and spat it out onto the ground, standing up with Daryl and drinking from the bottle. "That taste though…. I may not eat eggs for a while."

"Yeah, me neither," he mumbled.

"Hey, you did this to me, so you'll have to stand by me through it." She poked his chest. "You and your damned overachieving sperm."

He grinned from ear to ear—and with all the pride in the world—at her. "I'm gonna be there every step of the way. That's why I'm gonna marry you."

She grumbled about that—not negatively, simply grumbling for grumbling's sake. "Yeah, yeah."

"C'mon. We're almost there."

They walked the rest of the way to the field, the setting sun golden and rosy above them, and they took up positions around the treeline. Daryl kissed Carol's brow before he took his position, and she stepped out of the shadows and into the fading sun's light. She walked about halfway into the field before Ila revealed herself. Carol studied the woman for a long moment, standing still at the halfway point, and Ila tilted her head to the side to study her.

"What do you want?" Carol demanded without wasting a moment.

Ila smiled darkly at Carol. "You know what I want."

Carol clenched her jaw. "You won't have her."

"But I will." She stepped closer, the green dress she wore sweeping across the grass, and Carol noted she was barefooted. She was almost beautiful in her way, but there was a dark edge to her beauty, and Carol braced herself just in case. "Oh, I don't intend to fight you, Carol."

"And if I want to fight?"

She chuckled. "You think you have control over the situation, don't you? How adorable."

"I do have the control."

She clicked her tongue and moved even closer, standing only a few feet away from Carol now, and she ran her eyes over the woman. "You are lovely, aren't you? Charlotte favors you in that way."

"Don't talk about my daughter."

"She has a spirit about her, and I truly do adore it. I think she's special." She was whispering now, keeping the conversation between the two of them rather than among her and her people. "I have a talent for picking out special little girls and boys, so be honored. She's chosen for a high power, Carol. She'll reshape the world as we know it."

"Yes, she will—at my side." Carol reached behind her for the gun she had tucked into the waistband of her jeans.

"Don't even think about using a gun on me." Ila purred, "I can end you in ten ways before you know what's happened, but I don't want to do that. You have another special gift for me." She reached a hand out and touched Carol's stomach. "Precious little gift."

Carol flinched and jumped back, pulling the gun out. "Don't touch me." She aimed for her temple to keep her coming back. She'd hate to trip over this bitch for a second time.

"What did I say about guns?" Ila hissed. "Eeron!"

A shot fired from behind them, Carol spun around and saw Daryl fall to his knees, blood oozing from his shoulders. He released a strangled breath as he gripped the wound, and Glenn and Rosita dropped beside him to help stop the bleeding; and she tried to go to him, but Ila grabbed her wrist and knocked the gun from her hand. Carol struggled against her, but Ila was stronger than she looked.

"This was meant to be between the three of us, but the dirty whores you brought stained this pure encounter." She dug her long, dirty nails into Carol's wrist, and Carol refused to cry out, even when they pierced the skin and blood trickled out from the crescent-shaped wounds. "You will see a new world, my dear, and Charlotte will pave the way for that world."

"Over my dead body."

"Then so be it." She chuckled darkly and smiled. "I can simply rip the baby out of you once you're far enough along, raise him as my own and have him call me Mommy, have him know only me and mine—"

Carol punched her square in the jaw, Ila stumbled back, and Carol reached for the gun, but Ila still wore that dark and amused smirk. She knew there was a gun pointed at her family, and if she shot, Eeron would shoot. She didn't know if the next shoot would be lethal or not, so she had to think this through. She had to be careful, or she'd lose everything. It was clear Ila had done this before.

"You bring blood to talks." Ila licked the blood from her corner of her mouth. "I like that. You have the makings of one of us yet."

"What are you?" Carol demanded. "What is the Shah? What's the point? Why do you want my daughter?"

She straightened her stance and shook her head. "We are the creators of the new world. We are the promise of a new tomorrow. We are the shadows that lurk and crawl and destroy the tainted people of this world."

Carol stared at her with narrow eyes. "You're insane. Got it."

"We are the only sane ones here, my dear Carol." This she spat at her. "Do not mock my ways, or the father will get one through the heart. Carve a pretty little crown on his brow to match my Charlotte."

Carol clenched her teeth in frustration and growled. "Don't threaten him."

"I don't make little threats, Carol—I make promises. The father will die if you wound me, so make sure it's a good shot. But remember: the day will come when shadows will cast out the light, and it is coming when I say, not when you demand. You have no power here, my dear Carol, in my glen. I am the trees and the grass. I am the clouds above. I am the very air you breathe, so if you think you can end any of these things, be my guest—fire."

Just then from the treeline emerged a dozen of men and woman, all looking as feral and unclean as Ila herself. They were wearing the same smirk as Ila, and Carol could see more people behind them, and she heard grunting as Glenn, Daryl, Rosita, Tara, Denise and Rick were thrown out into the field on their knees, knives made from bone against their throats. The man Carol suspected was Eeron came out, wielding a sniper rifle and smirking cheerfully at them.

"Be all means, my darling Carol," Eeron projected, "fire away."

One of the men who held Denise cut into her throat, beads of red slowly seeped downward from the wound, and Denise was trying not to cry out. She didn't want to show fear, but she was terrified. Carol shouted at him to stop and lowered the gun, the man stopped but didn't remove the knife from the wound, only added pressure as the blood ran more profusely.

"Stop it." Carol dropped the gun to the ground and her knife. "I'm unarmed. Stop now!"

Ila nodded her head, and he stopped. She wrapped her arms around Carol from behind and inhaled the scent of her deeply, nuzzling her face into the crook of Carol's neck. "That's my dear girl."

Eeron looked annoyed at the contact but said nothing.

"Come with me," Ila purred into her ear. "Join us in the shadows."

Carol didn't budge an inch at the contact and kept herself still. "Never."

"Why not? You and my Charlotte would do so well among us." She set a hand over Carol's stomach. "So would the boy. And you could spend the next two years worry free. Bonding and making memories with my Charlotte. A beautiful goodbye before the transformation."

"What transformation?" Carol realized instantly she intended to kill Charlotte and let her turn. That was what the crown meant: do not damage here. It was a sign of protection and a mark of death. It made Carol want to vomit once more at the thought of her beautiful little girl becoming a walker—again. Hair matted, skin pale and blood splattered, clothes tattered and growls escaping through breathless lungs. Oh, God, no. "You want her…to be a walker?"

"No." She hissed and dug her nails into Carol's stomach. "Not a filthy, bastard walker. A Blessed One. A pure, flower-sprouting Blessed One. My Charlotte is promised, my dear Carol. I will have her, no matter what, and you will fight. Oh, yes, you'll fight, but I will prevail. I always do."

"I'll never let that happen."

"I never said anything about "let"." She pulled back Carol's shirt only to slice into Carol's stomach with surprisingly sharp nails, Carol's eyes twitched at the burning pain there; but she didn't yelp, and Carol realized she was bleeding, and it wasn't nails digging into her. They were blades somehow fitted into a glove. "Don't worry. Just making it known you are mine, too. The boy is safe. Very safe."

Carol tried to move, but at even an inch of movement two members of the Shah closed in on Rick. She tried not to but at the sight of them forcing him down onto the ground, extending his right hand out and slicing it off like it was a piece of meat made that impossible. She couldn't remain stone-faced, and she screamed out a "no" as they kicked the removed hand off to the side. Rick shuddered and panted as adrenaline coursed through his veins, his heart racing in his chest as he brought the bleeding stump to up to his face. His vision began to blur, and he screamed.

She whimpered now, and she felt hot blood slowly sliding down her hip as a crown was carved into the tender skin there. She looked over as Daryl held his shoulder, trying to keep conscious as blood pooled from his shoulder, and she said a silent prayer that they all survived this encounter. The Shah were clearly ruthless, and they were in sync. They moved as one being and likely closed ranks and continued to move as one when the leader was removed. There was no victory here tonight. Only bloodshed and regret. This would be marked down as a mistake. Michonne was right; they should not have come here tonight. She closed her eyes and a single tear drifted down her cheek.

Suddenly the men dropped Denise, Glenn, Tara and Rosita, leaving Rick's side and Daryl's, and Eeron collected Rick's hand as a sick souvenir. They vanished into the darkness, and the men and women who were standing among the trees vanished with them. Carol realized she was no longer being held by Ila, and she turned around to find she, too, had slipped away into the night. They were alone in the darkness. Or were they?


	33. Repercussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody. I want to apologize for my time away without any notice. I've currently had some family issues to take care of, and then the holidays came, which I hope everyone enjoyed. If not, I hope you have a great new year and enjoy this chapter. More is to come.

Carol ran over to the Daryl and dropped down beside him, applying pressure to the wound, and he released a cry. She apologized and looked over the wound, seeing it was blessedly a through and through shot. Eeron was on point with his shooting, because from what she knew from Hershel and Denise both he missed hitting anything vital. Daryl would be just fine. He might need some blood and a lot of rest, but he would be just fine. She rested her forehead against his and apologized again and again, and he nudged her brow with his and shook his head.

Tara and Denise helped Rick to his feet while Rosita scanned the area for any more of those fuckers, Denise removed her outer shirt and belt to use it as a makeshift tourniquet. Carol aided Daryl in standing, and they moved as a unit to the car with Rosita watching their flank. They piled into the SUV, Rick was beginning to lose consciousness from the loss of blood, and Rosita kept him conscious with all her best efforts as Tara drove like mad to get them back home.

The trip seemed to take hours and hours when in reality it was likely only an hour and a slight bit over an hour, and Denise hopped out of the car, running to prepare the clinic, and Rosita followed after to rouse Mordin. Tara and Carol helped Rick out of the car as Daryl insisted he could walk on his own. They helped Rick to the clinic and lied him down, Tara went to fetch Michonne, and Carol went to Daryl’s side to help him remove his shirts. She noticed he had bits of cloth in the wound and only then did she begin to break down into tears, shudder and panic at the events that unfolded in the glen tonight.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Tara ran over as Carol began to crumble the floor, catching her around the waist gently and easing her down. She adjusted her legs and held Carol carefully, moving loose hair from her bun back from her face and hushing her tenderly. “It’s okay now. It’ll be okay. Sshh, it’ll be okay now.”

-

Rick was heavily sedated in the clinic with Michonne and his kids at his side, Beth and Noah had scrubbed in to help—putting their time at the hospital to good use, or Beth’s childhood in her case as well as the hospital—and Daryl was lightly sedated and talking about his children not so softly to Carol now. Denise was checking the bandage on her throat while Tara went to inform Carl of his father’s condition. Noah mopped up the blood on the floor, looking in on Beth who was checking on Rick just to be sure he was all right, and he smiled at her. She looked over at him and returned the smile lovingly to her husband. He finished with the floor and drained the bloody mop water, returning to Beth’s side and wrapping his arms around her from behind, kissing her cheek and murmuring in her ear about heading home now.

“Yeah, we should go and check on Monroe.” Beth looked over at Carol and smiled. “Hey, pregnancy buddy.”

Carol laughed dryly. “Hello.”

“I’ll bring some food by later for you guys—specially made by me and my daughter.” She set a hand on her shoulder and tenderly squeezed in a show of both love and support. “How does potato soup sound?”

“Wonderful.” Carol gently hushed Daryl down as to not wake the dead with his volume, and she stroked his hair, slowly coming down from her emotional high and back into her rational self. She was able to think and breathe again, and she was glad for it. She was glad for the survivors of this encounter. She would be better prepared in the future.

“Okay. I’ll be sure to add some meat for flavor and protein. We can’t have that baby comin’ out all skinny. We’ll both give birth to chunky little boys.” Beth was musing, only to make Carol smile, and it was working. Her level of exhaustion was so obviously high. It broke Beth’s hard, but she would bring in some happiness and light through the cracks Ila had created, plant a garden of love there. It was the least she could do for her. “And don’t worry about Charlotte and Mika. They’re in good hands. Maggie has them fed and tucked in, and we’ll bring them by in the morning.”

“Thank you, Beth. I truly appreciate it.”

“Any time.”

-

Carol had nightmares the entire night about Ila stealing Charlotte away, of stealing her newborn son away, and she woke to a cold sweat coating her chest. She looked over at Daryl who was sound asleep from the medication he’d been given, and she sat up, heeding the pinching at her side. She set a hand on her stomach and realized then that Ila had not only known about her pregnancy but that she was having a boy, too. She hadn’t announced it the world yesterday or the day she found out, so how in the world did Ila know about it unless there was a spy in their ranks?

Bare feet touched the cold floor of the clinic, the long shirt she’d been given to wear tumbling down her thighs to reach its full length, and she exhaled, walking over to the doorway to see Denise with Tara preparing medication for Rick and Daryl as the pain meds had likely run out, and she spotted two trays of food. Tara was adjusting the plates on them while whispering softly to Denise, and Denise looked at her with such love. Carol’s stomach rumbled at the sight of thickly cut bacon, and she blushed as their eyes landed on them.

“My godson is starving. That’s unacceptable. Get in here.” Denise patted the chair beside her, and Carol joined them with a soft thanks, finding the plate of food made up for her. “It’s no trouble.”

“Saves me from having to carry another tray.” Tara smiled at her. “And don’t worry about manners in front of me. I’ve seen worse.”

“Good, because I am so hungry, and these smells wonderful.” She dug into the food before, still managing to keep it classy as she taco wrapped egg, bacon and pancakes and drank the tea not unlike a savage. Denise made some jokes about having seen this hunger before, and Carol glared around her breakfast taco at her.

“I’m just sayin’.”

“Well, I didn’t ask.” Carol smirked at her and finished off the last taco before lowering her hands to her satisfyingly full belly and dropping her smirk entirely. “We have a member of the Shah among us.”

Tara nearly dropped the tray she’d picked up and frowned. “What?”

She nodded. “I don’t know who he or she is, but I will find out by the end of the morning. There were only a few people who knew about my pregnancy, let alone that this is a boy, and I’ll find them.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Tara set the tray back down and asked, “How do you know it’s one of us? Where is this coming from?”

“When she did this to my stomach, when we spoke, she mentioned my _son_ specifically. She knew I was pregnant and having a son, and there are only a select few who have that knowledge prior to the trip out there. So someone within these walls is a member of the Shah, and they are feeding her information on me and likely on Charlotte and any other child that matches the profile.”

“Oh, God.” Denise blanched and thought over who it could be. “You know it’s not me, right? I would never supply those nutcases with information on Charlotte. She is such an important part of my life. She’s like my heart or my lungs. I would never do that.”

“I know it isn’t you.” Carol smiled thoughtfully at her and set a hand over hers on the island counter. “You mean the world to me, and I’ve known you for years. If you were a member of this cult, I would know. You aren’t.”

“How can you be sure?” Tara was simply curious. If they were working the long con like they appeared to be, Denise would be a prime target. She was closest to Carol and had the easiest access to Charlotte out of anybody. She would swoop in and take her without anyone batting any eyelash. She knew her girlfriend better than that, but she still played over the possibility. It was how the human mind worked after all. Thoughts on good and bad playing all at once. “Not that I don’t trust you, only am curious about the reasoning.”

“I…felt this aura around the members of the Shah,” Carol explained. “It was…like nothingness and willingness to blindly follow. There was nothing else there. Denise offers so much more than they could ever understand. I don’t know what Ila has done to them, but they aren’t people anymore. They’re puppets, and they can only react. There’s nothing else.”

“Then how do we find the odd duck here?” Denise inquired. “They’ll have to be able to blend in.”

“I have a short list. I just pray no one was eavesdropping on my appointment, or that list just become the entirety of Alexandria, and I don’t think I can handle that right now.” She rubbed her belly tenderly and frowned. “I have to find this person—today. They will not feed her any further information on me or my kids.”

“Understandable.” Tara nodded. “I will…um, check on Rick and his pain level. Why don’t you two talk it out? I’ll make sure the kids aren’t around to overhear this conversation.”

“Thank you.” Denise set a hand on her girlfriend’s and squeezed, holding on until the last moment and letting her hand drop to her side.

Carol smiled a thanks to Tara and turned back to Denise. “I need to speak to Mordin. He’s the only other person who knew about the baby. He’s actually the first person who knew about my pregnancy, and I believe I should start with him.”

“Oh, okay. He is…currently taking a walk.” She remembered him passing the news to her on his way out the door. He had smiled and told her to take care of their patients since it was a full house pretty much. “You can check his room out. He wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t know that I want to violate his trust like that. I do owe him a great deal. He did a lot for me.” Carol looked down at her hand on her stomach and exhaled. She had bigger things to protect than privacy right now, and he would have to understand. If he didn’t then so be it. She had to check behind every door, and that mean the doctors, the close friends, the family. “But I need to know if he is a threat to my kids. I can’t risk it.”

Denise nodded with a grimace upon her lips. “You’re right.”

“Which room is his?”

“Third to the right. It has the medical sign on the door.”

Carol slid off the stool and headed down the hall to the room Denise had mentioned, knowing it was on the first floor. She spotted the worn medical sign Denise had mentioned and smiled softly at the sight of it, setting her fingers on the bumpy and rusted design before reaching down to twist her fingers around the doorknob.

“Carol, no!” Nina ran over to stop her, and Carol instantly turned to the side to let her slide by, pulling out her knife in one swift movement, but Nina seemed to anticipate her movements and caught a hold of her hand, causing the door to crack open and a gunshot filled the air.

Carol looked on in horror as Nina strained and sputtered, blood pooling from the shotgun wound to the side, and Nina felt to her knees before her, wheezy breathes escaping through paling lips.

“Nina!” Carol caught her before she fell to the ground. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hold on.”

Nina managed a pained smile. “Just…how I wanted to wake up this morning.”

Carol weakly laughed and felt her eyes burning at the sight of her, apply pressure to the wound as the sound of rushing feet came. “Just hold on, okay?” She snuffled. “How did you know?”

She wrapped her hands around Carol’s with teary eyes and confessed, “You and Charli aren’t the only ones marked with a crown.” She turned her head to the side and lifted up her hair to the reveal crown carved into her neck. But it was different than hers with a strike through it, and Carol realized instantly what it meant.

“You—”

“Oh, my God!” Denise ran over with Daryl and Tara and Michonne on her heels. “Nina, Carol.” She dropped down beside Carol and looked over the wound on her side, but there was no entry wound, so she moved to Nina. “Okay, Tara, help me get her back to the clinic. Daryl, stay with Carol. Michonne, I think your police skills are needed.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Carol grasped Nina’s hand to stop them from moving her, but Nina assured her they had plenty of time to talk. She watched as she was carried out and to the clinic, Daryl helped her onto her feet and settled a hand on her stomach, and she gripped his hand there, too. He helped her to the clinic and sat her down, heedless of his own injuries, and Carol noticed a faint pink hue spreading across his bandages, and she told him to sit down.

“I’m good. Completely medicated.” He bent down to look her over and pushed hair back from her face. “You okay? Honestly?”

She shook her head and silvery tears rolled up in her eyes. “No.”

“Mommy! Daddy!” Charlotte’s voice came from the other room.

“Shit.” Daryl rose up and headed into that room to stop them from seeing Carol crying. Charlotte was too excited to care about the obvious delaying tactics, and Mika was too distracted by the now red hue spreading across Daryl’s bandages. He assured them he was all right, doped up enough to not be able to walk straight, and Mika smiled at him.

“Where’s Mom?” Mika inquired. “And Denise? Your bleeding through your bandages. You need to sit down and stop straining yourself, medicated or not. It’s not going to help you heal in the long run. I really need you to be okay, Daryl.”

He nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry to worry you. I’ll be sure to be careful. I promise.” He wrapped his good arm around his daughter and squeezed her shoulder. “C’mon. Your mom’s through here.”

“Yes, Mommy.” Charlotte ran in through the doorway ahead of them and instantly froze at the sight of blood on her mommy’s belly, and she couldn’t stop the tears from building up behind those blue eyes. Her heart stopped cold, and she felt like her tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth. She had no words. No feeling. Only ice ran through her, and she couldn’t stomach it. “M—mommy?”

“Hey, baby girl.” Carol rose up off the gurney with a smile on her lips, setting her hands over the splatter that had made her daughter stop cold in her steps. “It’s not my blood. Your brother’s fine.”

“Mommy.” She ran over and buried her face in her stomach away from the blood, wrapping her arms as much around her mother’s waist as she could, and she whimpered. “My brother.”

“He’s fine.” She stroked her hair and smiled softly. “Nina got hurt, but she’ll be okay. We’ll go see her soon. I promise.”

She dug her nails in tighter but nodded.

“Mom?” Mika entered the room with Daryl beside her, and before Carol could explain, Mika was in her arms, too, whispering, “I heard it from the hall. Are you okay?”

“For the most part.” She stroked her hair and kissed her temple. “I love you girls. Thank you for being so caring.”

Michonne entered through the hallway and whispered to Daryl who’s jaw set in a firm line, Carol noticed instantly and asked Mika to take Charlotte into the kitchen for some milk, and Charlotte complained until Mika said they’d melt some chocolate into it. They scurried into the kitchen as Beth and Noah entered the room with smiles and a goodbye kiss as he had duty. However, at the sight of Carol, he paled and asked to know what was wrong.

“I’ll explain it at dinner tonight.” Carol offered. “Beth and I can cook, and we’ll discuss it further. For now, you two have duties to tend to. The girls are in the kitchen, and I know school will still be in session.”

Beth nodded. “I’ll cook. I have some salted fish I need to get rid of, and you can just rest.” She smiled forcefully at Noah and headed out, grasping Carol’s hand and squeezing it along the way.

Carol sent her a smile and joined Michonne, asking what the whispering was about. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

“It’s more,” Daryl seethed. “Much more.”

“You’ll want to see this.”

The trio headed down the hall, Daryl refused to see a doctor until he’d seen the room that made Michonne’s very stomach churn, and Carol grasped his head for support—both emotional and physical as he was very much “too doped up to walk straight”. They entered the room, minding the trap-triggered shotgun, and Carol gulped at the damage it had likely done to Nina. Though the gulp should have been reserved for what waited inside of the room.

Nobody had ever seen the inside of Mordin’s bedroom as he kept it the door locked and shut due to personal issues, so it was an utter shock to find the room of a seemingly hinged and sound man in total disarray with floor-to-ceiling pictures stapled onto the walls. The furnishings were tossed around, bedding ripped, mattress ripped, clothes tossed about the floor and torn up. Crowns with lines through them were carved into the dresser, drawn in old, now-brown blood along the door and the ceiling, and the words Deliverer painted over pictures of Carol and Charlotte dating back to the grove.

Carol saw Polaroid pictures of her and Denise and baby Charlotte at the grove, plucking one off the wall of Carol heavily pregnant and holding onto one of Daryl’s shirts to make it into an outfit for the newborn baby to come. Her hand trembled at the sight of her near nine months pregnant and being spied on by the doctor of the very town her love and family resided in. Her breathing came rushed as the gap between them could have been close so much sooner had his man been sound and good, but she calmed herself. There was no point in trying to turn time back. It was a gut-reaction; it couldn’t be helped. She could only act now. Only feel and solve the problems they faced right now. The rest was…pointless. It couldn’t be changed.

Daryl looked over the freshly written Deliverer over the pictures of Carol and Charlotte and himself and Mika, seeing the R ended with a sonogram of their son. He ripped it off the wall and ground his teeth, knowing if he added any more pressure surely his teeth would crack and shattered in his mouth.

“How did we not know?” Carol lowered the picture. “Right under our noses….”

“He put on quite a good act.” Michonne crossed her arms and turned to face Carol. “He… He was such a damn necessity at the time we barely cared for his background.”

“They’ve been watchin’ us the whole damned time.” Daryl snarled.

Michonne nodded. “From the beginning of it all, I’d bet.”

“How did we not fuckin’ know?” Daryl ran a hand through his hair and winced at the sharp, white-hot pain coursing through his shoulder. Perhaps it wasn’t the meds affecting him but high blood pressure or the like. God damn it.

Carol shook her head.

“You don’t remember. You were out of it with grief.” Michonne turned to him. “But Judith had thrush, and we needed a doctor’s aid. We needed help, because none of us had the experience to help. Rick had just killed that wife-beating son of a bitch, and…the next day a group of stragglers came. We questioned them, but at the mention of being a doctor… Rick slipped up. He didn’t pressure on the issue he should have. He asked only enough to see if he could trust him with Judith, and Mordin passed. The rest became quirky habits.”

Carol’s hand fell to her belly. “He knew about me from the grove. They were watching me when I was pregnant with Charlotte. They’ve had their eye on her since she was in the womb, Michonne. How much more do they know? About her? About us?”

“I can’t say for sure, but I’ll research the room, try and find notes, sent a party out to find Mordin. He couldn’t have gotten far. I saw him just this morning.” Michonne set her hands on Carol’s shoulders and smiled softly, reassuringly. “He won’t slip by us. I promise.”

Carol turned the picture around to face Michonne with a frown on her lips. “He already has slipped by us, Michonne.”

\--

Nina had worn a partial bullet-proof vest, so the damage wasn’t as severe as it could have been, Carol was drawn up a calming bath and calmed down by Denise, Michonne enlisted some aid to help hunt down Mordin, and the kids were attending life as though nothing had happened. They would be kept out of this. For their safety as well as mental health.

Carol sat at the edge of Nina’s bed, watching over her as she rested, hearing mild conversation about their dinner plans between Daryl and Noah out in the hall, and she was fairly certain that salted fish would be made into a stew. She wasn’t hungry, but she had accepted the food people had brought her as her son needed to eat, and she was ready to sit down and force the stew down her throat if she had to. She hoped not, because Beth was a good cook, and it’d likely be delicious, and she didn’t want to hurt Beth’s feelings. Though it would be understandable, given the circumstances.

A sharp inhaled indicated that Nina was awake, Carol stood up to be standing over her—a position of power, and she tried to not seethe as she spoke.

“You’re awake.”

Nina swallowed and cleared her throat, seeing when she opened her eyes and spotted the bedside clock, it was well into the evening, and she smiled. “Hey.”

Carol pressed her lips together and demanded, with fire on her tongue, “Why?”

Nina closed her eyes for a moment then met Carol’s. “I was alone, and I don’t handle alone very well.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, just shit.” She pulled herself up using the bedframe and the nightstand, as Carol offered no support. She winced as she pulled on the wound to be sitting, and she set a hand over her side, feeling the stitches through the bandages, and she tried not to cry at the pain. “I… I mentioned I was in a group before this one?”

She nodded. “You said they were killed.”

“They were—by the Shah. They had tracked down a young one from our group…a Blessed One…and my group refused to give him up. He was only three years old at the time.” The tears couldn’t be helped as she recalled the events. “And I was so scared, Carol. I’d just found them and was just adjusting to life there…and the Shah came and took that away in the blink of an eye. They had such skills and number. I thought I was going to die.”

“So you sold him out? An infant?”

“I had no choice. They would have killed me if I didn’t offer them an exchange!” She snuffled and tried to reason with Carol, but the walls were up and nothing was getting through. “I—I—I had no choice. He—he wouldn’t have survived, if it was just the two of us. He—There was no way.”

“You instead handed in over to a sure death? You didn’t try and save him? Only yourself? You waste of space!” Carol roared. “He was only an infant! A piece of the future and of his parents, and you sold all that out for your own skin!”

“I was alone! There was nobody to protect me! I didn’t—I hadn’t learned. I was weak. Okay? I was weak.” She was bawling. “I didn’t know what they’d do. I didn’t know. I swear. I swear.”

“But you do now? You know what they intend for Charlotte? For my son?”

She lowered her eyes. “I couldn’t be there.”

“You left a defenseless baby all alone? To be…what? Devoured by walkers? Sacrificed for some insane reason?”

“I couldn’t be there!”

“And you thought you deserved a chance at love? At happiness? When you turned against every person who trusted you enough to bring you into two groups and still served the devil?” Her lips curled in disgust. “You sicken me, but most of all…beyond all of that…you…terrify me.”

She shook her head. “Please—”

“No! We’re finished here.” She walked over to the door and knocked for Michonne to come inside and take Nina to the cells.

“Wait, please—”

“I let you in, let you babysit my children, give you a second chance, and this is how you repay me? Selling information about my babies to those bastards?!”

“Carol, please—please—let me explain!”

“No, you’re done here.” Michonne stood in the doorway now and held a wheelchair. “You’ll wait in the cells while we decide what to do with you.”

“Please, wait—”

Carol walked out of the room at her pleas, Daryl was waiting for her, and they headed out together for some air before attending Beth’s dinner. Carol was trembling, and Daryl pulled her closer to him. He assured her they would question Nina again and again until she told them the truth about the Shah and their intentions for Charlotte and their unborn son.

\--


	34. Blood On The Stone

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Carol couldn't relax at dinner, but she didn't let it show. She blamed it on the baby, saying it was an uneasy stomach, and it wasn't a complete lie. She picked at her meal and made light conversation, and it was a very relaxed evening. The girls played games with Monroe and Beth, Noah and Daryl spoke softly outside, and Carol watched from the couch. They stayed late into the evening, and Daryl suggested staying over for the girls' benefit. So, they stayed the night and made breakfast; Carol still wasn't all back to them, and Daryl had an idea on how to get her back. He said he had a few chores to tend to and left her in the capable hands of the girls. He gathered a few friends who weren't hunting down Mordin and put together a group to help plan their wedding.

"I want it simple, so it don't overwhelm her. But I want flowers and—and music. I want a good time, for all of us." He rubbed his hands together. "I want to forget the Shah for an entire day. Longer, if we're successful."

"Sounds like a good plan." Beth nodded with a smile on her lips. "I'll be in charge of the flower arrangements in the church." Daryl's face scrunched at the mention of the church, and Beth explained, "It's the biggest building we have, and we want the whole town to not think on the Shah, right?"

"Right." He tried to keep an open mind about it, but he wasn't a churchgoing man. He didn't want to be married in a church, but Carol used to be a churchgoer, so maybe it would be good. To reconnect her with her roots, to bring some faith and otherworldly love into their marriage, if she believed it would. So, why not? It wasn't like a little faith was gonna kill him. "All right, yeah, let's do it at the church."

"I'll fashion some rings for ya," Abraham offered. "Found some good, strong birch. That'll suite you quite nicely."

Sasha smiled softly at his suggestion.

"Twist that shit up with some white gold, and it'll look fuckin' killer."

Sasha chuckled now and shook her head, raising a hand to join in on the work. "I'll look for a gown for Carol to wear. Since she's so small, it might be difficult, but I know a bridal shop just ways away. Could pick up an outfit for Charlotte and one for Mika, too. If she'll have a maid of honor, we could pick something out. Do you know?"

He shook his head. "We haven't discussed the weddin' just yet, so I doubt it."

"I'll grab a few sizes, take Enid with me for extra hands." She looked over at the young woman who'd come home for a visit just a few hours ago, and she nodded. "Why don't we head out now? Grab Eugene and Noah on the way to hunt for food for the reception."

"Why not take Nina and Tyreese?" Beth suggested. "They're some of our best hunters."

Daryl glanced over at Sasha, who didn't know the news of Nina. They'd kept it under wraps, and nobody knew beyond those in the clinic. It was a mess, and Daryl would be questioning her himself a few days, but he wanted her to have time to recover, and he wanted her to stew. The rest—about Mordin, and the Shah—it could wait. They had their girls, their son, and nobody and nothing was going to touch them.

So, Daryl piped up with a smooth lie, "Nina was shot in the side by a trap set by Mordin and is in a light coma. We've moved her to the cells since the clinic is full, but we've made it real nice. She'll be…home soon enough."

"Oh, no." Beth frowned. "I—I should go and see her."

"She's with Denise. She's fine." He waved it away. "We can go and see her after the weddin' and everythin'."

She slowly nodded, a bug crawling up her arms at the gnawing feeling of Daryl keeping more from her. The whole story was just on the tip of his tongue, but he wasn't going to let it escape. She had learned a lot about him from their time on the road together, and this was part of the experience. He was lying to her, but it was for her own protection. It had to be, so she would let it slide for now. She would speak on it later with him, once the wedding was over. That seemed best. "Of course."

"Why don't we get to work now? Got a lot of work to get done." Abraham didn't like the tension crawling into the room like a legless walker. He'd rather just prep for this wedding and get the hell of this room.

"Good idea." Daryl stood up. "I'll check on Carol for lunch, but she oughta be with the girls most of the day, in Beth and Noah's home, so don't worry about her runnin' into us."

"We can keep a secret." Sasha assured him, "Even from Carol."

"All right then. Let's get to work."

Sasha and Enid walked down the street towards the car Abraham had brought around, he greeted Enid with a hug as he hadn't seen her yet, and she smiled happily up at him, glad to see him, too. They had a brief conversation, playfully jesting with each other for a moment before Sasha mentioned they were wasting daylight. He kissed her goodbye and murmured a sweet nothing for only her ears, and Enid got into the car then. They said goodbye once more then Enid and Sasha departed for the bridal store Sasha had spotted on a run. She'd been cut across the thigh and needed to make a tourniquet, so she used one of the sashes from the store. Hey, it'd come in handy, hadn't it? And it was handier still.

Glenn and Noah arranged a search party for Mordin's traitorous ass, Tobin and Francine were the first ones to join as they wanted to see justice done for the spy among them, and Rosita and Tara joined after they'd gotten a good babysitter for Coco and said goodbye to Denise respectively. They headed out, finding the way he'd walked by Spencer, who was on the wall at the time of his departure. They spotted a trail, Glenn suggested breaking up in half—one to follow this trail, and the other to look for another trail in case this was a false trail.

"I'll take Francine and Rosita up the road," Noah agreed. "We'll meet up at the halfway mark. You remember where it is?"

Glenn nodded. "Yes. Be careful, though. We clearly don't know who we're dealing with."

"Same to you."

They parted ways then, both following trails of different sorts, neither knowing it would lead them nowhere. Mordin had made plans for this day since his first arrival in their cozy little town. He had known who would be on the wall, whose eyes would be following him into the woods, and he knew how to make false trails and real trails, but they would lead not to him—but to his family. Should the correct people come, that was.

* * *

Nina exhaled softly and set her hand over the freshly changed bandages on her, holding on to her side as she rolled over, and dark eyes fall across the face of the woman she least expected to see. She slowly sat up, hairs falling into her face, and she wanted to smile, but she knew it wasn't appropriate. She knew it would only be seen as an act of ill intent. Even when it wasn't.

"Hey." She all but whispered the word to the woman who now was like a stranger to her, standing before her, and the now-stranger didn't respond. "What brings you here?"

"I came for answers and answers only." Carol approached the cells and crossed her arms. "I don't trust you to be honest, not after all the lies and all the destruction you wanted to cause—"

"No." Nina pushed herself up and stumbled over to the bars, gripping them with one hand and cradling her side in the other. "You—you don't know anything—about me, about the Shah, about Mordin."

"Tell explain it to me. Explain how you could befriend an entire town, deceive them so you can steal their children in the night for some sick ritual. Use them—"

"No! It wasn't like that. It isn't like that now!" she shouted, smacking a hand hard against the cell bars, causing them to shudder and rattle. "Listen to me!"

"Why should I?!" Carol snapped. "You put my babies in danger! You put my live on display for a bunch of freaks in the woods!"

"No, you don't understand! Goddamn it!" Nina roared and huffed, fire rising up in her chest at those words. "I would never do that to you, or to Charlotte. Or to this baby. You don't know—"

"No, you don't know," Carol cut her off. "You don't know what's like to raise a baby. To have them grow inside you, to feel their kicks and nudges and—and hiccups. To feel them becoming more and more of a person and a life, practically feeling the crafting of their very souls. And giving birth to this incredible little life, seeing it for the first time and having loved it before it had a shape…and then discovering the big, bad world has its hungry eyes on that precious piece of life you've created and loved. And it's everywhere they should feel safe."

Nina clenched her jaw. "Carol, look at me."

"I already have, and I know who I am dealing with."

"No, you haven't seen me since the first time we met. You've seen Daryl's supposed lover. You've seen the babysitter and teacher. You've seen everything I've fooled the world to see."

"No, I've seen the woman underneath, and I never truly trusted her."

"Lair. You've trusted me."

"I've had no choice but to rely on you. That's not the same."

"Yes, it is. You've left me alone with Charlotte."

"Because I had no choice. And you were seldom alone."

"If I was such a threat to your precious Charlotte, why didn't I take her? Hmm? Whisk her away and leave her as fresh meat to the Shah. Huh?" she demanded. "Take her little pink fleshy self and deliver her unto the Shah? Be honored and made holy for such a delivery, such a match."

Carol felt her skin crawl those questions and focused in on them. "What do you mean, such a match?"

"Pah!" Nina spat. "Now you want to know my side? To use me? To know the weaknesses of the Shah?"

"You want to be helpful, don't you? If you're not helpful, you're going to die."

"They'll call the counsel and deliberate on what to do with me. Death isn't an option."

"When did I mention the counsel?" Carol inquired, placing her hand on the table beside her, revealing tools to help loosen Nina's tongue, and she locked her eyes in Nina's.

"You'll torture me? Kill me?"

"If you don't talk, maybe." She approached the cell and stared her dead in the face. "You are my enemy, and I won't let you live long enough to report back to your queen."

"The only person I serve is God," Nina corrected, stepping back. "And loosen my tongue, I dare you."

Carol clenched her jaw. "You want to make this harder than it has to be?"

"I don't share information with my enemies." Nina smirked at Carol. "You threaten me. I clam up. That's how this works, Carol, dear. You think you're badass? You're just some old woman who happens to be fertile. That's all you are. And I am not scared of you."

"Well, you should be, because this old woman just so happens to control whether you live or die. It's just us down here, and no one will hear you scream."

Nina chuckled. "You'll have to come in here and get me, Carol. And guess what? One swift kick to the stomach—instant abortion. So come at me."

Carol nodded and returned to the table of tools, finding a small throwing knife and tossing it into the cell, Nina cried out as the knife plunged deep into her shoulder, and she collapsed in a heap on the floor, bleeding and gripping the wound. Carol cocked her head to the side and held another throwing knife, knowing the other shoulder would be easier to get to this way. She unlocked the cell as Nina hissed and cried out, trying to remove the throwing knife but failing as it was too deep. It hurt too much. What a shame.

Carol wrapped her fingers around the knife's hilt, Nina shook her head and begged her not to, but Carol ripped it out. Nina screamed and fell back, cursing and losing her vision. Carol tossed the bloody knife out of the cell and gripped the other knife tightly in her hand, kissing the blade of Nina's throat, and Nina looked up at Carol with dilated eyes. "Threaten my son again, and you won't have a tongue."

Nina panted and hissed at her like a weakened animal but nodded.

* * *

Daryl headed into the house to check on Carol and found no one, searching the house and finding a note in the bedroom where the girls were playing with Monroe, and he read Carol had taken a walk while the girls went over to Maggie's for lunch. He frowned at the idea of Carol wondering and likely walking into the church, so he decided to put a lookout outside the church.

"Just keep an eye on for her and make sure she doesn't come anywhere near here." He asked Gabriel. "You like tending to the church garden anyway, don't you?"

"I'll watch for her, but you owe me."

"Anythin'." He meant it. "I just want her to be surprised and…happy."

"She will be. She just needs some air and time to herself. I believe she's earned that."

Daryl smiled. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you at the ceremony."

"Front row."

Daryl headed over to Maggie's to see how the girls were doing. He found the front door unlocked and his daughters within with Monroe and Hershel and Joss. They were all drawling and painting and having a good time. He could see Charlotte was drawing some sunflowers, and she was smiling, holding onto Hershel's hand. He smiled at that and approached her.

"Hey, kiddo, what's this?" He knelt down and set a hand on her back. "It's beautiful."

"Sunflowers." She smiled up at him. "They're my favorite."

"Since when?"

"Since just now." She shrugged. "I just like 'em. They grow towards the sun and are reflective of it."

"Reflective? That's a big word."

"Mommy taught it to me." She colored in a petal and hummed softly to herself, still holding hands with Hershel. "How is Mommy? Did she have a good walk?"

"Yeah, baby, she had a good walk." He tucked hair behind her ear and kissed her temple there. "I'll check on your sister, but you paint me somethin' pretty, all right?"

"What would you like? A monkey?" She giggled at the suggestion, and he chuckled softly at her laughter. "A pony? A carrot?"

"Just whatever you think I'd like best."

She nodded. "An arrow."

"Ah, technically, Daddy uses bolts."

"Ookaayy, then a bolt." She picked up another piece of paper and began to scribble out a sloppy version of a bolt. "What colors?"

"Green and blue." He stood up. "I'll be back to pick it and you up, all right?"

"Take your time. I like it here." She looked over at Hershel and gripped his hand tighter.

"Yeah, I'll bet." He ruffled her hair and stepped into the kitchen where Maggie and Mika were making lunch for the little ones, and he greeted them with a smile and wave of his hand. "Hey, what's up?"

"We are makin' sandwiches and preppin' for dinner. I'm thinkin' a marinated venison, but I got no clue." Maggie shook her head. "Is Carol with you? She makes the best marinates."

"She's out for a walk still."

"Oh damn." She heaved a sigh and shook her head. "Oh, well. I'll figure it out."

"Why are you here?" Mika inquired suddenly, finally speaking up. "You and Maggie both. You should be out with Glenn and the others, trying to find Mordin. We need all hands on deck to bring him in. I'm sorry I kept my mouth shut during the duty assignments, but if I have to make one more sandwich instead of doing something to protect my little sister, I'm going to snap."

"Mika—" Daryl began.

"Don't "Mika" me. I want him brought him to the cells. I want him arrested and punished for his deception. I can't believe he did this to us." Tears filled her eyes, and she huffed. "I trusted him. I went to him for help for years, and he…he does this to us? Seriously? I don't understand."

"Sweetheart." Maggie wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held her close. "I know. I feel betrayed, too."

"How can I trust anybody if they could be fake?" she demanded. "I don't—I can't—Dad." She reached for Daryl, Maggie released her, and Daryl enveloped her in his arms tightly. "I'm scared."

"I know, kiddo, but they'll bring him in."

"And if they don't? The Shah have outplayed us time and time again. What if he gets away and feeds them information on how to get to Charlotte from inside our walls? What if he built a tunnel or way back inside? Dad, I'm so scared for her." She bawled, her shoulders shaking at the endless horrible possibilities.

"Don't be scared, Mika. I won't let anythin' happen to any of us." He rubbed her back. "Shh. It'll be okay. I promise."

"How do you know?"

"Because I love you, and I will do anything for the ones I love, even bend the rules the Shah believe they have in place." He kissed her head. "I'll do everything in my power to stop them. I swear to you."

She nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Be strong for me, Mika, all right? Be strong for Charlotte."

"I'll try."

"I know you can do this." He squeezed her. "I know you can."

He held for her while longer, soothing her tears, and she smiled at him again, like sunshine and honey, and he let her return to helping Maggie. She said she needed to talk to him and Carol later, and he said he had a surprise for them later, too. She knew her news would be surprising, but they'd make it work. They always did.

Daryl departed from the house about twenty minutes later and checked in with Gabriel—no signs of Carol—and he slipped into the church, seeing flowers and ribbons and a glue gun lying about. He couldn't help but laugh at the sight, and Beth told him to hush. She had enlisted the help of a few kids from her class who were artsy, and they were making…work of this task. It was hilarious and thoughtful. He'd keep this memory close when the Shah were closing in on them.

"Need a hand?"

"Dear Jesus, yes." Beth was on the verge of tears. "I am too pregnant for this. I am so frustrated. I can't get my vision to show in my work."

"I'm a glue gun master. Lemme see it." He rolled up his sleeves and jogged down the aisle to help her. "All right, tell me your "vision"."

"Don't mock the pregnant chick. She's a hair puller."

He smirked. "Noted."

"And be careful. You're still injured. I don't want a bloody groom."

"Again noted." He didn't want to mention he'd been medicating himself lightly now and then to keep his energy up. He knew meds through Merle, and he knew how to be careful with them. He had to keep going, keeping spirits raised for this town's sake and Carol's. it was only a matter of time before the pressure of the Shah rushed them, and he would try his damnedest to not let that happen. So a little self-medication was called for. He'd deal with the fallout of it later, should there be any.

* * *

Michonne checked in Rick to discover he was actually awake this time, and Carl was in with him. She waved to her boys, gesturing down the hall to where Denise was researching the leftover information Mordin had tossed about his old room, and they nodded. She blew in a kiss, and Rick weakly smiled, still emotionally—and physically—wounded from the attack.

Carl chuckled at Michonne's gesture and shook his head. "Gotta love her, right?"

"Yeah." Rick moistened his lips and looked over at his son. "I'm glad you came with Enid."

"Yeah, me too." His eye fell on the stump where his right hand once was. "I—I wish I had been there."

"I'm glad you weren't. They took a piece of me and of Daryl and of Carol. It's luck they didn't hurt the rest of them there." He lifted his left hand and gripped Carl's shoulder. "I…am lost, son. I'm trying to be put together for her and for you and your siblings, but…I'm so lost." His breath escaped him, and he shivered, tears prickling up in his eyes as he spoke to his beloved son.

"Dad—"

"I…I never gave you credit for the loss of your eye. You were able to return to us, and I am trying to get there. I'm trying to be…thankful it was one piece of me, but I can't…" He paused and shuddered. "I can still feel my fingers, Carl…. I can still feel them."

Carl ducked his head and lifted his hand to grip his father's. "I know, Dad. I know." He let his father mourn. It was in sorrow and rage. These tears that fell were necessary baby steps to recovery. It was peeling off a bandage for air to come in and let the light and the warmth follow. It wasn't an easy step, to confess and to be open enough for the flow of healing, but it was coming now. In tears and in clenched teeth. It was raw and powerful, and Carl had never been prouder of his father than he was in this moment.

Rick didn't settle down for a good hour and a half, coming down slowly, evening out his breathing, drying up his tears, and he returned to part of the man he knew. Rick knew he wouldn't be a shadow of the man he once was, but that didn't have to mean anything negative. Becoming a new person—at any age—was difficult. It could be a change for the good, or a change for the worst. It could be changing back into an old self. Rick could only hope he broke his current mold and became someone better. He would remake himself to be better. That was the goal now. That was all that mattered. Recovery and building himself into someone better, someone capable of adapting to this situation. The worst hadn't come. He was sure of that.

See, the worst was letting his break him. He was a strong man. He had overcome many challenges, and while none of them had to do with losing part of himself physically, he would overcome this challenge, too. He wouldn't sink to the bottom and bury himself there. He could be better than that. He would be. He had such an example to look to, to keep himself steady and afloat, and he was right beside him. If it was only for a moment, it was enough. He'd take in some of that boundless strength his son emitted and be a better man for it.

"Here." Carl handed him a glass of water and sat down in the seat beside the bed. "Better?"

He sipped the water and nodded. "A little bit."

"I'm here for you, Dad. Whatever you need." He gripped his shoulder and smiled encouragingly at him. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Carl." He returned his smile and patted his hand. "Let's talk about something else. Tell me about this woman, this Astrid."

Carl chuckled with a blush crossing his cheeks, and he rubbed at the hair on his chin. "Um…she's a friend."

Rick smirked. "Just a friend?"

"Well, yeah, for right now, she's just a friend." Carl's blush worsened as he attempted to defend his relationship with Astrid. "A good friend, a best friend. Someone I rely on, okay?"

"Sounds like she's more than a friend."

"Maybe someday, but for now, we're really are just good friends. I don't have room on my plate for much else."

"Don't waste time," Rick advised. "If you want more with her, and you feel she wants the same, don't waste time. Make your move and be respectful."

"I want…. I want us to come together organically," Carl confessed. "I don't want to add pressure to it. I want to be happy with her as friends for the time being. I have a lot to work out."

"You won't lose Enid by being with someone other woman," Rick told him, sensing this had to do with the only other relationship Carl was involved in. "She'll understand she was meant to be with you for a time, and maybe this Astrid is meant to be with you for the long haul. Women are very perceptive. Don't sell her short."

"I'm not." He rubbed his hands together. "But…we slept together…and I don't know. It's awkward."

Rick smiled. "How long ago was this?"

"Pfft, I don't know. Back when she was being elected for Hilltop?"

"I think it's been long enough." He patted his knee. "Enid will move on in her own time, and yours is now. Don't miss out on a great love by being stuck in the shadow of a dead love."

"Speaking from experience?"

"I am." He nodded. "I almost missed Michonne because of your mom. I…couldn't lose that last piece of her, so I attached myself to what was similar and nearly lost myself to an old love. I almost missed a great love."

Carl lowered his eye and slowly bobbed his head in understanding. "I get it. I'm not like you, though. I do want it to happen naturally, but…maybe I can put some more effort into it."

"Maybe." Rick lifted his hand and dropped it down onto Carl's head. "But be sure to bring her by. I'm sure Michonne, RJ, and Judith would love to meet her. So would I."

"I promise." He chuckled and grinned at his dad. "Thanks, Dad."

"Thank you, Carl." He dropped his hand to his neck and pulled him in for a hug, holding his little boy tightly and kissing his temple. "Thank you."

* * *

"Tell me where the Shah are located," Carol demanded, standing over Nina as she slowed the bleeding in her shoulder.

"Why should I tell you anything? You'll likely kill me once I've spilled the beans on them, so why?" She ripped her shirt to apply it like gauze to the wound.

"Because I have a first aid kit, and I'll help you clean your wounds."

"Tssk. You've already reopened my side, cut into my shoulder, and I'm pretty sure my internal injuries are worse now. So, what do I give a damn about your first aid kit?"

"Don't be stupid. You're strong. You'll recover from these injuries. All I have to do is fetch Denise, and you'll be fine."

"And how do you think you'll explain this to her?" Nina looked up at Carol from where she sat on the floor. "Hmm? I just happened to what? Hurt my shoulder in a room with no blunt objects?"

"I'll be honest. I've no reason to lie. You're one of the Shah. You mean nothing to us."

"Nothing to  _you,"_  Nina corrected. "I've made connections in this town. People love me. People will be torn up about deciding what to do with me. They'll take pity on me."

"No, they won't. Not when it's once more brought into light that you and yours are hunting down little girls and boys for demented rituals."

"They are not mine." Nina whispered this, wincing at the application of a new gauze and knowing it was going to be severely infected from this grimy cell. She might have to cut it off by the time Denise came to get help for her. Her only chance was to either play into Carol's games or escape. She could mend her own wounds if she could just get to the clinic.

"Tell me." Carol gripped the throwing knife and stepped closer to Nina. "Now. It's your only chance."

"You know nothing of chances, Carol."

"You know nothing of me," Carol spat back at her, seething. "Now stop wasting my time and tell me. It's your only hope. You know that. Talk, and I'll go to the counsel and speak on your behalf. I'll say good things, and maybe—just maybe—you'll be given some food and medicine for your exile."

She looked at Carol as she spoke and inhaled deeply, inhaling deeply and praying for forgiveness. She adjusted her weight as she pulled her legs in and tested her side. It was going to hurt either way, but at least this way she had a real chance. She couldn't ignore this her only escape. She had to get out of here. She had to move now. Or she was going to die. Here. There. It didn't matter. All that mattered was surviving beyond this conversation and surviving the Watchers.

Nina was pulled out of her thoughts by the punch to the face, pronounced by the ring Carol was wearing, and she felt her jaw crack somewhat. It wasn't broken by any means. It just smacked from the force of the blow. She brought her bloodied hand up to her jaw and looked up at Carol before jumping up with adrenaline pumping through her blood and grabbing her hands.

"Aah." Nina backed up her against the wall with all the force she could muster, Carol gasped at the sharp contact, and Nina slammed her armed hand against the wall over and over until the clanging of metal on cement came.

"Get off of me!" Carol freed her other hand and shoved Nina away by her forehead, Nina tripped backwards from the surprising force the woman had, and Carol decked her square in the mouth, all of her rage returning her to her. She had trusted this woman with her babies, with her future, and she was one of their enemies this entire time. She was spying and lying and feeding information about them to those wild bastards. She wasn't going to let this continue. She was done playing fair.

"What's the matter?" Nina laughed. "You scared?"

"No. I'm simply debating on whether or not I'm going to kill you."

"Rich words from a woman with a dislocated wrist." Nina wiped blood off her mouth and snuffled. "You were my best friend, you know. I never lied to you."

"All you did was lie to me."

"You don't…listen, do you?" Nina groaned. "I am not…who you think I am."

"Clearly." Carol bent down to collect the knife.

"No!" Nina dove for the knife, shoving Carol out of the way, and the instincts of being torture returned to her. She had suffered many scarless wounds from the Shah, and she wouldn't suffer anymore. She wouldn't be a victim of their anymore. She wasn't going to let this stand. "No!" She swiped the knife and kicked Carol in the legs, an animal she couldn't control unleashing itself as she recalled the screaming nights. She wouldn't relive that. She wouldn't be a victim. A torturee. She wouldn't. She wouldn't, not ever again.

She slashed at Carol blindly, Carol tripped backwards, unable to do anything to help herself with Nina's hectic and unpredictable movements. Warm blood spilled over her bandages as she twisted and turned to hack and slash at Carol in any way that she could. She roared and spat and hissed until the wall met Carol's back and the blade sliced through Carol's top and across her belly. Nina was about to repeat the action when blood seeped through Carol's top and the memory of her being pregnant flitted back through her mind.

She gasped and fell back onto her ass in shock of her actions. "No, no, no."

With trembling hands, Carol peeled the shirt back from the wound and saw the superficial lash across her belly, across the only protection her son would know for months. Her eyes sliced into Nina, all bets were off, and Carol reached behind her and pulled out a gun with a silencer on it. It was a small thing with a power punch, and she pulled the trigger.


	35. Nina

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

* * *

Sasha knocked hard on the glass and waited for any signs of walkers, seeing Enid scanning the area for any walkers attracted to the noise, and she adjusted the machete in her hand. She heard wheezing coming from inside the building and backed up to the open door, gripping the machete firmly and waiting for the walker or walkers to exit. Enid pulled her knife from its sheath and followed suite. They made quick work of the three walkers that shambled out of the building, all old and decaying, and Enid checked them for marks of the Shah, but they were common walkers. She was relieved and caught up to Sasha inside.

"We should get her a size bigger," Enid commented. "Because of the baby. She'll need room due to the increase in breast size and belly size."

"You're right." Sasha swiped a white clothing bag from the counter and unzipped it to ensure it was empty before moving back to the gowns. "What style do you think Carol would like best?"

"I think Carol would want to feel beautiful," Enid replied, knowing more about Carol from late night conversations with Carl. "Like a queen."

"Then this tiara veil is going to be coming home with us." Sasha smiled as she plucked the dusty crystal encrusted crown off the display. "And I thought this would be difficult."

Enid chuckled. "Nah, just heavy."

"A lot of that going around." Sasha sighed softly. "I'm glad to be having this wedding. Some blessed levity when all there is, is war and bloodshed."

"That's not all there is."

"Right now it is."

Enid lowered her eyes. "I'm not sure what to do with the Hilltop once the Shah issue has been resolved. We'll need a new focus, and I am not sure what to make that focus. I know it should be about the future, about preserving the Hilltop and all that comes with it, but it's so difficult. I don't know where to start."

"Where did you stop?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you have a plan before the Shah were around? When you were running to be elected?"

"I want to continue its progression and harvest a healthy and lasting future. I want to secure the walls and enlighten its people. I want to build a future that will stand against the wear and tear of time. I just don't know how to start." Enid fingered a gown and let her hand fall back to her side. "I can't ask Maggie. She's so proud of me doing this on my own. I can't let her down."

"You won't be letting her down by asking for help. Everyone has to ask for help at some point in life, and if you don't ask, you might lead them down a path they'll never recover from. Do you want that?"

"Of course not."

"Then speak to Maggie. Get a piece of her mind and meld it with your own. You'll find what the future holds together, okay? Being… being part of a group when it comes to the tough decisions is the smartest move you can make."

She smiled softly at her. "You're right. Thank you."

"I'm pretty damn smart, you know."

"I know. I just…never get to talk to you." She plucked a gown from its hanger and held it up to her. "How about this one?"

"Too much cleavage."

"But it's white lace." Enid gestures to the neckline. "It'll show all her cute freckles."

"That's true." Sasha didn't know much about the gowns and body types, but Enid seemed to know more in that regard. They could help each other with their problems and maybe find some solutions. It was worth a shot. It wasn't like her big brother could help her with her man problems, and while Enid was young, she was a thinker. She might have something cooking under those brown locks. It was worth a shot. People surprised her every single day, so why not today?

They talked and gathered items for the wedding, Enid had some fun with it, trying on a few dresses and head pieces and having a good ole time with it, making Sasha laugh and question herself when asking advice from such a young soul. But Enid was more than her youth, and being elected as Hilltop's lead proved as much. She was going to lead them to a shining future, and Sasha couldn't want to see what all she would go on to do. She felt pride in the young woman before her, and as it swelled, Sasha realized then there was something she was holding back on. It was time to have that talk with Abraham about kids again. Once the Shah were resolved, the future would be endless, so why the hell not?

* * *

Glenn lead his group down the trail they had decided on, Tara and Tobin were searching the area for any movements, and they spoke little. It was more of hunting than anything, and they had to be careful to not be overheard. For all they knew, they were being surrounded by members of the Shah, and it was only a matter of time before they were cornered. If they were, they would have to find some way out of it and speaking lowly offered them a chance to escape. They had worked out a few plans of escape on the way, and while Tobin wasn't the best person to have with them, he would work it out. Glenn would ensure he survived this trip. No matter the cost.

"Glenn." Tara caught his arm and gestured ahead to a suitcase lying on the ground.

"I see it." He lifted his gun and approached the bag, instructing Tobin to stay back and keep guard, and Tara refused to leave his side. They moved as one approaching the suitcase, and Tara knelt to unzip it carefully—oh, so carefully—in case they were explosives in the bag, and Glenn looked for any movement. "Easy."

"If I were any easier, I wouldn't unzipping it at all."

"I'm just looking out for you."

"And I appreciate that." Tara guided the zipper along its path until it was completely undone, and she listened for any clicks or ticking as she lifted it open, and there was nothing. She tossed the lid aside and revealed a single sonogram picture of baby Dixon. "What the hell?"

Glenn reached inside the case and picked it up, turning it over to see there was nothing on the back. No notes, no clues, nothing. It was a false trail they'd been following, and Mordin wanted them to know as such. "Son of a bitch."

On the other side of the woods, Noah guided Rosita and Francine down their clearly trampled path, and Rosita estimated about five walkers had been over the area, but it wasn't naturally made. It was meant to look like walkers had only been across this path by chance, but it was man-made. Mordin had wrangled up some walkers and used them in an attempt to mislead the group. He wouldn't get away with it, as they were two groups of people hunting him down. He would have to take harder than that.

"Keep your guard up. We know he has multiple walkers with him," Rosita advised the group. "We need to be cautious."

"Roger." Francine eyed the path before them and noted some white rocks among the mess. "You see this?" She brushed leaves aside to reveal the small white pebbles and picked one up. "Do you think this was an escape route made for him by his people?"

"It's possible. It's difficult to notice them among the leaves, and who would pay attention to a few scattered white rocks?" Noah ran his eyes over the area and saw several white rocks poking out along the trail. "He wouldn't have just left them like this without a reason. He knew we'd follow him."

"So, how do we proceed?" Francine tossed the rock aside. "We could be walking into a trap."

"We could always be walking into a trap," Noah reminded her. "For Charlotte's sake, we have to proceed. We can handle anything they throw at us."

"Yeah, I bet Rick thought the same thing before they chopped his hand off." Rosita placed her hands on her hips. "We need Glenn's group. They outnumber us on a good day. I am not risking limbs for this."

"All right. Why don't we circle back and meet up with Glenn?" Noah suggested. "We can come back up this way once we have everybody."

They retraced their steps back to the meeting point, seeing Glenn's group coming in the distance, and they regrouped. They spoke briefly about what they had found at the end of their trail then moved towards the location of the white pebbles Francine had found. Noah and Glenn took point while Tara and Rosita took up the rear.

"So, what do you mean about the white pebbles?" Glenn inquired, holding his gun closer in case this was the true path. "I mean, what do you think it means? A code? Or just…painted rocks?"

"I don't know. I've never been to one of their scenes. I don't know what it could mean." Noah glanced back at Rosita and Tara. "They're the only ones of us who've been there."

"Their encounter was traumatic. I don't think it's wise to ask them about it just yet."

"We can hear you, you know," Rosita called up to them. "We're in the middles of the woods, and there's not much else noise going on."

"Well, it was traumatic, and I don't think we should ask you about it right now," Glenn shot back. "Unless you recall pebbles or other important information?"

"No, I wasn't looking at the ground until I was shoved face first into it."

"Do you remember anything?" Noah turned to face them, stopping in his stride. "Hmm?"

"Nothing that will help," Tara answered honestly. "I've gone over it with Michonne, and I know nothing useful. I saw what everyone saw. Only Carol had the best seat in the house for the Shah."

"That's twisted," Francine remarked.

"What's twisted was trying to handle Rick Grimes' hand landing two feet from my face," Rosita shot back. "I agreed to come out here and help find the Shah, but I am not going to take any slack. We saw nothing useful. We have no information to go on, and I am fucking pissed off, because those assholes are making clowns of us."

"They won't always have the upper hand, Rose," Glenn informed her. "We'll find something."

"When, Glenn? And how?" Rosita was ready to throw down and scream. "My Coco would be in danger, just like Charlotte and whoever else fits the profile—a profile we don't even know. I—is it girls? Is it age? Is it hair color? Height? Weight? Who fucking knows? Not us, that's for sure."

"Rosita, please—"

"No, don't ask me please! I am fed up with the Shah. Day in, day out, it's the Shah! They are lurkers in the shadows, and I am sick of them. I am sick of holding my baby girl as though it could be the last time, because I don't know this enemy. Inside, outside, the way they walk, the way they talk—nada. It infuriates me. You have to relate. You have Joss and Hersh, and you have to get it." She searched his eyes before he ducked his head, and she closed the space between them. "Tell me you don't hold those babies in a death grip for fear of those bastards taking them should you not. Tell me you don't."

"Of course I do. We all do." Glenn lifted his head. "But we don't give up either. They want to hunt? Let's give them a hunt, but we don't have to be the prey. That's a mindset I refuse to live under."

Rosita gripped her flashlight tightly and nodded. "Fair point."

"I know." He smiled. "Now let's stop arguing over them and find one of them."

"Lead the way."

They continued onward, finding more pebbles spread further out as they traveled along, cutting out conversation and focusing on the area around them. Should any members of the Shah be lurking around, they would be ready. They were armed, prepared and dangerous, even if the Shah were too. There would be no surprises this time.

They came upon a clearing. Tara was losing her fondness for clearings, Rosita was on edge, and Francine held her gun closer. Glenn and Noah spotted someone in the middle of the field, and Tobin made out the body type of their former doctor Mordin. He was standing there in tattered robes, looking up at the evening sky with his hands behind his back, unmoving.

"Noah, Tara, stay hidden in the woods," Glenn whispered. "Tobin, Francine, go around to his front, and once we distract him, move in on him. Tara, you're with me."

They took their position, Glenn and Tara entered the glen, and Mordin turned around to face them, hands still behind his back. Glenn noted how pale he looked in the evening light, sweat coating his brow, and he looked so very little like the man who delivered Hersh, Joss and Monroe. He was a stranger to them, a spy, a foot in the door for the Shah. He wouldn't leave this glen in anything but handcuffs with a cell waiting for him back home.

"Hello, Glenn, Tara." Mordin smiled at them. "You found the trails?"

"Yeah, both of them." Tara tossed out the picture of baby Dixon. "Wanna tell us why you had this in a suitcase?"

"That wasn't for you." Mordin inhaled and exhaled, the air slowly slipping from his lips, and he released his hands from behind his back. "That was for Ila, to see the baby's progress. He is next in line, should he mirror his sister."

"Why should he mirror his sister?" Glenn commanded. "What about Charlotte has attracted your people to her?"

Mordin smirked darkly. "She is chosen."

"But why? She's just a little girl. Her biggest concern should be if the Tooth Fairy is coming or not, not if your sickness will take her life," Tara shouted, thinking of her niece who had lost her life too young. "You can't imagine the stress you have put on that child, but you will pay for it."

"I've already paid my bill." He reached into his waistband, Tara lifted her gun instantly at to strike, and he pulled out a knife. One of the handcrafted blades of his people, and he held a hand up to warn Tara not to shoot. She would aim for his head, and he didn't want that. He wanted to return and find his people. He wasn't marked. He wasn't a Reject or a Blessed One, but he could still honor his people and his memory. He had trained others with his skills, so he wasn't worried about them having a doctor, and all there was left to do was join the horde. "Don't worry. It's not for you."

"Mordin, wait." Glenn's boot moved forward in the high grass, Mordin positioned the knife over his heart, and Glenn held his hands out after tucking his gun back into his holster. "Wait, please, you don't have to do this."

"I will not be used to betray my lady and my people." He swallowed with ease and met Glenn's eyes. "I was honored to deliver young Hershel and Josslyn. Take care of them, and take care of chosen one."

"Wai—"

"Just leave me to ascend," he requested, and Glenn moved to run; however, he plunged the knife into his heart before Glenn could take another step closer. He fell to his knees, eyes cast upward at the fading sun, and a smile painted itself across his lips before he fell back onto the ground. Glenn caught his shoulders and held him in his arms, seeing blood profusely gushing from the wound, and he set a trembling hand on his chest, knowing there was nothing he could do but watch the light fade from those hazel eyes.

* * *

Nina curled up on the ground, holding onto her kneecap that had been shot, and she whimpered, hands sticky with her own blood, and she quaked there on the cement floor. She couldn't believe what she had done. She couldn't believe it she'd lost sight of herself in such a way. She was better than that, stronger than that, but at the end of the day, she was still an animal. One that crawled and hissed like a hellcat when backed into a corner….

Carol sat on the floor, applying light pressure to the wound on her belly and praying—actually, finally praying—to God that her baby be all right. She couldn't stand to lose him. She loved him so much. She had never meant to risk him. She thought it would be easy, an in and out task, but no. No, it may have cost the life she had been trying to protect. God, please, no.

Nina crawled over to the other corner, crying out and clenching her teeth as she moved into a sitting position, and she dug her teeth into her bottom lip as she raised her knee, seeing the bullet lying in a puddle of her blood. She knew Carol was a good shot, but God damn. That was pure luck. It just needed cleaned and dressed. Not that she saw those actions happening anytime soon. She had brought that on herself. All she had to do was spill the beans on the Shah, who she had no interest in protecting, and that was that. She would go on trial and have her fate be decided by a jury of her peers, and that would…be that.

"God, Carol." Tears built in her light eyes, and she smacked a bloody hand down hard onto the cement. "I'm so sorry."

Carol's eyes sliced into Nina's, and with bloody fingertips, she fingered the gun sitting beside her. She could pick it up and end this conversation before it even began. She could kill this bitch and be justified. Hell, if she didn't kill her, all she had to do was go see Daryl and he'd do it himself. But something told her not to do either action. She needed to listen. Even if she didn't want to. God, she didn't want to. She was enraged, and it was all she could do to contain it. "Don't say my name."

"I didn't mean to hurt him. I really didn't mean to." She bawled like a baby, and she couldn't hold it back anymore. "I'm not who you think I am, and not in the obvious way."

"Shut. Up. I don't give a damn who you are or who you  _think_  I think you are."

"I—I'm not one of them. I mean, I was. I mean, I wasn't but I was, because I had no choice. You either are with them or you die, and I was too scared of dying." She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and smeared blood across her nose and upper lip. "I… I don't know what they have in mind for Caleb. Or for Charlotte."

"Who's Caleb?" Carol tilted her head to the side. "The little boy? The one you sold out?"

She nodded. "He was only three, you remember?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because he wasn't of age. He was still just a baby then, and they want little to do with babies." She soothed herself like she'd soothed a young one and decided to confess to it all. There was no point holding it all in. She was going to die anyway, therefore protecting the only future they'd known was pivotal. She would die making good use of her Shah knowledge. What little of it she had.

"What do you mean?" Carol removed her hand from the gun and set it over the wound. "What age?"

"Eight. Like Emily. Charlotte's only six. She has two more years before she's of age. Judith has one." She snuffled and shivered. "Look, I know I should have told you all this earlier, but you need to understand something: I am not a member of the Shah. I never was."

"You're marked."

"Yes, to breed. I—I have features Ila was attracted to, and she wanted me to have children, to supply them with Blessed Ones, but…" She lowered her eyes. "I wasn't able to get pregnant."

"Wait, Nina—"

"Yeah, they forced me into the ritual of conception," Nina nodded her head weakly. "I was drugged and dressed up and left with Ila's son, Asa. I was just a baby machine to them, hence the crown, but I…. I wasn't able to conceive, so they tried to kill me. They stabbed me through the crown in an attempt to kill me. They left me in a field of contained walkers, roped together like horses and cattle, and they waited for me to die and turn."

Carol closed her eyes and turned her head away.

"Only I didn't die. I thanked God for that and for my escape, because I found my way here. My way home." Tears spilled from her eyes as she spoke gently, fondly, full of love, and she wrapped her arms around herself. "I was saved by God and Jesus and by Deanna. She was my hero, and I couldn't thank her enough for bringing me into her home."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you need to know the truth about me. I am not a villain here. I'm a survivor, just like you."

"You aren't like me."

"Perhaps not, but I'm not like them. If I were, wouldn't I have handed over Charlotte? To her be raised among the children and then used for the ritual of rebirth?"

"Ritual of rebirth?" Carol's head was spinning, but she knew what it meant. "Christ."

"I love Charlotte. She's like a daughter to me, too, and I love Mika. I love Judith. I love that baby inside of you. I love you, too, Carol, and I am sorry if you feel I am some terrible, disgusting creature, but I'm not. I was only human. I was trying to survive a fatal situation and tried to do the best for that baby boy as well."

"You had no way of knowing they'd keep him alive until he was eight years old."

Nina dropped her eyes. "You have me there."

"I have you more than there, but I need to check on my baby, so fuck you, Nina." She stood up. "You want to play victim, not survivor. A survivor would have ran with the child and done their best to make it work until they found this place. Or they would have taken what they could from the Shah and ran with the child at a later time."

"I didn't say I was a smart."

"Clearly." Carol moved for the door. "I'm done with you, Nina. I'll bring Denise to look you over, but I am done with you."

"Wait, Carol, please listen to me. If not for your sake, then for Charlotte's."

Carol paused. "What more could you possibly have to tell me?"

"I didn't know who Mordin was until a few hours ago. I saw him in the woods with the Artist. I knew then they were making moves to collect Judith. She's almost of age, and they'll need someone for the ritual of continuance. Now, I don't know what that means or what's involved in the ritual, but I do know that they will stop at nothing to get Judith if they don't find another match. Hell, they might not want one as this town as two—possibly three—matches inside of it." At this point, someone close to the match was good enough. 

"What match? What type attracts them?"

"Brown hair, blue eyes, white skin." She shifted on the floor and grimaced, a white-hot pain shooting through her knee at the movement, and she panted to try and ease the pain. It did nothing, but she had to make it work until Denise was here. "Like the daughter."

"What daughter? Ila's?"

She nodded. "I've never seen her, and I've never heard the story. All I can tell is it warped Ila and Eeron. Asa was young, so he was raised in the cult. He has known no other way. They built the Shah out of nothing, because of their daughter. I don't know what happened to her, but it was horrifying. It had to be."

Carol shook her head. "I've heard enough of the Shah for one evening. I'll be back with Denise."

"Carol?"

She paused in the doorway and looked back at the pathetic mess she'd made of Nina. "What?"

"I am sorry, for what it's worth. I do still love you and trust you, and I hope you… Well, that's all I can say. To hope would be painful, and I want you to know I am very, very…very sorry."

Carol said nothing and headed out of the building, closing Daryl's over shirt over the bloody cut and stepping out into the night. She headed to the clinic to find Denise and Michonne still researching Mordin's notes and pictures.

"Denise?" Carol knocked on the door frame.

"Yeah?" Denise looked up from the pictures of them from the grove and zeroed in on the blood on her fingertips. "What happened?" She stood up and headed over to her, grasping her hands and seeing the blood just beneath her over shirt. "Oh, God, Carol."

"What?" Michonne walked over to them and saw the blood. "Shit."

They headed into the clinic, Denise was so relived to see it was just a superficial wound and that her wrist was only sprained, and Michonne wheeled over the sonogram machine. Denise wrapped her wrist, and they checked in on baby boy Dixon and discovered some…issues. It felt like all the time in the entire world had slowed way,  _way_  down. Surely movements were in slow motion. Surely feet were inching closer and closer to the ground so slowly it looked as though they weren't moving towards anything at all; they were simply hovering there above the asphalt. And all of this was happening because Denise couldn't find his heartbeat from any angle she attempted, and Carol was in distraught, in tears, and Michone encircled her shoulders with her arms to console her.

"Shh, it's all right." Michonne wasn't going to give up on that boy. He was fine; he was just being difficult at the moment. His mom was in a tough spot, and so was he. That was all there was to it. "Denise, keep looking. I'm sure it's just…interference."

"From what?" Denise sank into the stool a little more and removed the probe, but she nodded, stretching her arm before beginning to search again. She wouldn't give up. She couldn't give up.  _Come on, baby. Work with me. Please._  "Okay."

"I know he's all right," Michonne assured Carol.

Carol whimpered. Don't let this be my punishment for going after Nina alone. He was a good boy, a sweet boy. He deserved to see the world and see his father and sisters and continue to live and grow and know how loved he is. He deserved so much better than to pass on. So please don't let this be a punishment. Let this be a lesson where she learned to slow down, where she learned the risks of this world had consequences that affect people beyond herself. Please, God, please. Don't let this be an end.

"Hang on." Denise scooted closer and adjusted the probe one final time and gasped in relief at the sound of a rapid heartbeat filling the room. "Thank God."

Carol buried her face in Michonne's shoulder as she sobbed in relief, holding onto her hand tightly.

They relished that moment with the sound of a heartbeat filling the room, Denise made a joke about recording it for Carol to listen to whenever she wanted to get into trouble, and Michonne demanded to know what the fuck had happened to put her and the baby in danger. Carol had to admit it was her own fault. She told them what had happened and begged them not to mention it to Daryl.

"It's fine, because you're all right, and the baby is all right, and that cut isn't very deep; but you're out of head if you think I won't tell Daryl about this." Michonne shook her head. "You made a decision that impacted his son without his consent or knowledge. He needs to know."

She dried her eyes. "All right. I'll talk to him but let me be the one to bring it up."

"That's fair." Michonne squeezed her hand. "Let's get you cleaned up. We'll go back to my place, run you a bath, and we'll get you some of my clothes to wear."

Carol laughed now. "I love you, Michonne, but I am pregnant. There's no way I'm fitting into your pants."

She chuckled with her. "I do have stretchy pants, Carol. I was pregnant, too."

"Oh, right, RJ. I completely forgot." She slid off the gurney and rubbed under her nose. "All right. Let's go."

"Wait, let's get that jell off your belly!" Denise handed over a towel.

Carol cleaned her belly off and the three of them headed over to Rick and Michonne's house. Michonne drew Carol a bath, Denise had some dried petals and lavender to toss in, and Carol thanked them for their help and their comfort. Carol sat down in the tub and pulled her legs loosely to her chest, long hair wet and curled down her back, heeding her wrapped wrist and its waterproof wrappings, and Denise sat on the toilet talking to her softly. She laughed at the conversation and flicked a wet petal onto her face. Denise peeled it off and dropped it into the trashcan, warning her not to go with again or she'd leave her all alone in the bathroom.

"Oh, such a threat. I wouldn't want privacy." Carol wriggled her toes in the warm water and twisted a piece of hair around her finger.

"It is a threat, because they'll be nobody to help you get those Michonne pants on."

"Ahh, so true. I do need help with my pants." Carol bobbed her head.

"Yeah, so be nice to me. I am a treat."

She snickered. "Oh, okay, yeah, you're a cheese Danish."

"You still want one?" Denise scrunched her nose.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Carol sighed. "And mustard."

"Not together, though, right?"

"Honestly, I couldn't tell you."

"All right. I'm going to get some apples for us. I am hungry, and you need sugar."

"Thank you, Denise." She smiled softly at her. "I love you."

"I love you, too, now sit tight." Denise left the bathroom and found Daryl just outside the door. "Jesus!"

"Sorry." He held his hands up in a gesture of peace. "Is Carol in there?"

"Yeah, she's talking a bath. Do you want to see her?"

"No, but I need your help."

"Of course, just let me know with what."

He explained the surprise wedding he had in mind for them, Denise was instantly on board, and he mentioned how everyone had returned from their hunts, how the gown was picked out, how the flowers were made up, and how the girls were waiting in the guest bedroom for her. Denise nodded and told him they'd get her ready, and Daryl asked to see her.

"She's gonna be your wife," Denise grinned, "so yeah, of course you can see her."

"Yeah, 'course." He thanked her and entered the bathroom, seeing his soon-to-wife sitting in the tub, running her hands over her upraised leg and setting it back into the milky water to do the same with the other leg. She was beautiful—as always—long hair clinging to her back, delicate fingers spreading as she rubbed her calf, and she released a breath before her head turned to him. A smile like moonlight and soft roses crossed her lips, and she set a hand on the edge of the tub, turning towards him.

"Hey."

"Hey." He moved closer to the tub. "How are you feelin'?"

"Better." She tucked hair behind her ear. "I need to talk to you."

"What about?" He knelt down in front of the tub and overlapped his arms on the edge. "Is it bad news?"

"Sort of. It's about the Shah and Nina."

"Let me stop you right there." He waved a hand lightly from its resting place on his elbow. "We'll talk to Nina in the morning, and we'll get it straightened out. Michonne already agreed to lead the investigation on her."

"But Daryl, I—"

"No, please, not—not tonight." He lowered his eyes and exhaled then lifted his eyes to hers and smiled. "I got a surprise for you."

"What kind of surprise?" She wearily eyed him and set her hand over his one the edge of the tub.

"The best kind—I hope." He caught her pinkie between his pinkie and middle finger. "The whole town's been workin' on this surprise with me."

"Oh, God, that sounds huge." She couldn't think of anything that— "Wait, Daryl, do you mean…?"

By the smile spreading across his face, she knew instantly she was right in asking. She felt guilty. She'd completely forgotten about their wedding with the new access of information on the Shah. For God's sake, she was so driven by her need to know them, to hunt them, she put her baby at risk. She couldn't live like this anymore.

"Daryl." Her eyes burned, but she didn't want to think about why. Whether it was guilt or thankfulness, she didn't want to say. "You didn't."

"Well, it wasn't just me."

"I don't have anything to wear, and my hair is a mess." She shook her head. "Not to mention—"

"Hey, hey, hey," he tenderly interrupted her. "You're gorgeous, Carol, and I don't care if you got any of that weddin' junk, but Sasha and Enid figured you might want it; so, they went out and got you a dress. Beth's gonna do your hair, and anything else you might want done."

"Okay, now you're just trying to make me cry." She wiped at her eyes. "God."

He laughed. "I'm not tryin' to make you cry, just tryin' to lighten the mood around here and have you as my wife."

"I love you, do you know that?"

"I do." He cupped his hand against her cheek and wiped away a tear. "And I love you, too. I can't wait to marry you."

"Mrs. Daryl Dixon, party of five," Carol mused.

"Four and a half," he corrected lightly, and she chuckled. "I'll see you out there."

"Out where?" She titled her head to the side.

"You'll see." He kissed her lovingly on the lips then the forehead. "See you in a bit."

"See you in a bit."


	36. Iris

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Denise left to tend to Nina's injuries, Carol dried and found herself being taken to the guest bedroom by Michonne, and she was stunned at the sight of gowns lying around the room, beautiful wild flower bouquets wrapped in decorative paper and ribbons, and her girls spinning around in front of two mirrors in their new gowns. She couldn't believe her eyes at the sight and nearly wept because of it.

"No tears." Beth cupped her cheeks and wiped at her eyes. "You cry, I cry, and we will not have a couple of pregnant ladies crying on your weddin' day."

"Good luck with that plan." Carol snuffled.

"Then we'll go waterproof," Beth giggled. "Come and sit."

"Mommy, look!" Charlotte spun around and ran over to her. "I'm a queen!"

"So you are." Carol beamed at the sight of her happy little girl and sat down in front of the vanity as instructed. "You look beautiful, baby girl."

"So will you." She hopped up onto her lap, minding her belly and saw her wrapped wrist. "What happened, Mommy?"

"It's nothing for you to worry about, darling." She tucked an artificially made curl behind her ear and kissed her cheek. "I'll be fine."

She pursed her lips together but didn't press the subject. Beth brushed out Carol's hair carefully while Enid began to file her nails to paint them, and Sasha held up gowns in the mirror for Carol to reject or accept as her wedding gown. It felt so unlike her first wedding day with Ed, and she was so grateful for that. She wouldn't want to repeat that day if all the world made her. She was blessed with three amazing kids and an amazing man to be her husband. All the world had made this happen when she needed it most. Maybe the world wasn't so terrible. Maybe parts of it were poisoned, and it couldn't be helped, but overall—the big picture—was healed and trying to heal the sickened parts, but that was a thought for another time. Right now, she had to decide on a tiara veil or a flower crown.

She laughed as Beth approved of her dress and her veil choice, Charlotte went ahead and began to play with the extra veils, and Mika played with her. Carol admired her two beautiful girls in the mirror, Beth brushing out her hair and asking her if she had any particular style she wanted her hair to be in. She had no idea, and she asked Beth to just do what she felt was right for her.

Carol stroked her stomach while Beth made up her hair and face, Sasha had the dress already for Carol once hair and makeup were done, and Denise joined them about thirty minutes later. She and Carol made eye contact, and Carol knew Nina had been seen and medicated. She would be just fine. Carol didn't know how she felt about Nina being just fine within their walls. She didn't like having a traitor in their midst. She didn't like having a child kidnapper/killer so nearby, and she didn't like Nina. She didn't feel pity for her. She didn't feel anything towards her anymore, and perhaps that indifference was scarier than feeling angry or hurt or betrayed.

Mika lowered herself down beside Carol as Beth finished the last if her hair and whispered, "I need to talk to you and Dad when the ceremony is over."

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes, it's fine." She looked over her mother's gorgeous face and grinned. "You look amazing, Mom."

Carol blushed and gripped her hand. "So do you, honey."

"Thank you but not as good as you look." She rose up, and she looked at her mother's reflection. "Dad's gonna be blown away."

Beth beamed. "It's the way my mama taught me to wear makeup—subtle but accentuating—and Carol has a lot to work with. She's a natural beauty."

The blush worsened as red burned across her cheeks and neck, kissing lightly against the tips of her ears. "Thank you." She bowed her head.

"Hey, Carol? Look up." Sasha moved to be standing beside Beth and placed her hands on her hips. "You're too beautiful to look down."

"A classic beauty," Charlotte commented, removing a veil from her hair and setting it back on the bed. "That's what Daddy always says."

"When does Dad say that?" Carol had never heard him say such a thing.

"Well, he says it to me," Charlotte replied.

Carol couldn't help but laugh at her precious little girl. "I love you, Charlotte."

"I love you, too, Mommy."

"Okay, okay. I'm done." Beth stepped back, admiring her work. She'd braided back sections of Carol's hair, weaving baby's breath into the braids and leaving the rest down in their natural curls. The light and dark grey melded wonderfully with the baby's breath, and it brought out a natural cream in Carol's makeup. She looked gorgeous. "Here, take a look." She held a mirror up to show Carol the intricate weaving of baby's breath into braids in the back.

"Oh, my." Carol gasped at how beautiful her hair looked. "Beth, it looks amazing. Thank you."

"You're welcome." She lowered the mirror. "Now let's get you inside that dress!"

Luckily the dress Carol had chosen came in just at her new size. It fit perfectly, accentuating her curves and soft features, and she looked like a model. It was such a lovely gown, with its A-line bodice, laced long sleeves and open back, which her hair covered most of the revealed skin. The sight of her brought tears to Beth's eyes and to Carol's eyes, made Charlotte squeal and made Mika take a photo to remember this day by. They helped Carol downstairs to give her the rest of her attire. The needed items—something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

"I already have the something new." Carol set a hand on her stomach. "And something old. These earrings were my mother's."

"Oh." Michonne nodded. "Here. This can be your something borrowed."

Carol held out her hand to accept the necklace chain. "Thank you, Michonne." She fastened it around her neck and adjusted it to rest against her neck.

"Something blue." Beth thought for a moment. "Mmm…."

"Me!" Charlotte jumped up. "My eyes, Mommy, my eyes! I can be your something blue!"

Carol didn't want to tell her that wasn't how it worked, so she went with it. She kissed her cheeks and thanked her for being the best and bluest, and they escorted Carol to the church. She was surprised Daryl had agreed to get married in a church, and Beth said it was all for her. She almost broke out in tears, but Michonne made a joke couples, and she tearfully laughed through it. She was grateful for them and asked Michonne to walk her down the aisle.

"Where else would I be?" Michonne grasped her hand consolingly. "You're glowing."

She inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm the emotions sweeping through her. "I thought you were supposed to help me not cry."

"To a point." She nodded. "Now, your fiancé is waiting for us. Do you want him to see you crying down the aisle?"

"I don't know. I've been very surprised by Daryl today. I can't guess what's on his mind." She was joking, but it sounded serious, and Michonne laughed softly, questioningly. "I am joking."

"Thank God. I was almost concerned."

"Don't be. I haven't felt this happy in so long, and I can't begin to express it."

"Express it with Daryl. In your vows," she suggested. "And it'll be…perfect."

"Oh, shit, my vows," Carol blanched. "I'd completely forgotten that I had to actually say vows."

"Don't worry. You're great at improvising."

"Not at my wedding." She blew out a sigh and thought of what she could say. "Good God. Can I just…not speak? I think that's a viable option."

"No, it's really not."

"Who the hell decided to spring this on me? Out of the blue?"

"Daryl," Beth answered.

"Well, shit." She shook her head gently to keep her hair from coming undone, and she exhaled again. "Okay. I'm ready."

"Good, because so is everyone else." Beth paused and met Carol's eyes. "Who do you want to walk ahead of you? We have the girls as the flower girls, of course, but I can bring Sasha back here if you want her as a bridesmaid."

"Um, I hadn't really considered any of that." She thought it over for a moment, looking at the faces around her, and she smiled. "You all are standing with me today, and I couldn't ask for a better batch of family. Standing beside me up there or sitting down in the pews, it doesn't matter. I know you're with me."

Beth blinked back tears, smiling at her tearfully and nodding. "All right then. Um, the girls will go out first then me, because I'm already here. Then um…you'll take it away."

"Thank you, Beth." She grasped her hand and squeezed affectionately.

"No, thank you." Beth embraced her. "Thank you for all of this life, because without you none of it would have been possible."

Carol held her for a moment then Beth stepped back and dried her eyes before her makeup ran. She laughed lightly at how silly she was being, but they insisted that was nonsense. She had every right to her emotions, and it only made today even more special. To see the grace and strength of those around her, Carol knew today would be unforgettable. It would be filled with love and laugher and light, and that was all on Daryl in the best way.

The music signaling them to start creeping out from behind the church door began. Beth drew in a calming breath and positioned Mika and Charlotte at the doors, Charli looked back and gave her mom a thumbs up, and Carol laughed and tossed a thumbs up back at her. She flashed her a grin right before Beth opened the doors to the church; the mere opening of doors had everyone rising from the pews and turning to see the glowing bride and her accompanying entourage.

"Charlotte, Mika, go slow, like we practiced," Beth whispered, setting a hand on their shoulder to let them know when to walk. She looked at Michonne before taking her place in line behind Mika.

"All right, you ready for this?" Michonne inquired.

"More than words can justify." She nodded.

Michonne offered her arm, Carol grasped it tenderly with her freshly painted nails, and they glided down the aisle. Carol took that moment when the girls moved into position at the front of the church and Beth checked with Abraham on the rings to see all the hard work everyone had put into this.

There were white wildflowers flowers lining the pews with teal and lavender ribbons, purple and white flowers lightly dusting the floor they were walking on currently as done by the girls and beforehand. There were honey-hued candles lit and placed carefully on the floor and around the altar, and a small lavender and white swirled, cloth-draped arch Sasha and Enid had grabbed (because it was so perfect for the color scheme Beth had worked out with the rando flowers growing inside the walls). It was all waiting for her at the end of the aisle, with the man she was going to marry and Gabriel.

Michonne stopped a few feet away from Daryl and grasped Carol's hand on her forearm. "I'm only giving her away to you, because I know I can trust you to stand by her as equals in love for the rest of your lives." She lifted up her hand holding Carol's to Daryl, and—of course—he accepted it.

She sat down beside Rick on the pews, Daryl laced his fingers through both of Carol's hands when she finally stood in front of him, and he couldn't take his eyes of her. She was a goddess before him, stunning and gorgeous and breathtaking. There would never been another woman as stunning as her in his eyes ever.

"You look…incredible," Daryl whispered to her.

"So do you." And she meant it. Even though he only wore jeans and a nice, crisp white button-down shirt, he looked beautiful. He had combed his hair, brushed his teeth—she could smell the mint there—and she'd never seen him so clean before. Even his nails were spotless. She was captivated by him and feeling truly blessed. She couldn't stop the tears from building up behind her eyes.

Gabriel began with a short speech about love and life, Carol used that time to think of what to say to Daryl for her vows, and Daryl wanted nothing more than to kiss her and be married to her. He was beyond grateful to have found her. There was no one else in the entire world for him other than her, and no time had made him love her less, only more. More and more each second of every day, and he hoped his vows encompassed all he felt. He'd been working on them since he asked her to marry him, and having read and written and re-read and re-written them a million times since then, he felt he'd finally gotten it right. He'd finally gotten everything right.

"The couple has prepared vows, which they'll say at this time," Gabriel turned it over to the enchanting bride and dashing groom.

Daryl cleared his throat and spoke to her—only to her. The rest of the world didn't matter as much as she did, so these words were to be spoken directly from his heart into hers. There was no other way he could speak them. "You have always seen the best in me. From the beginnin', you…saw passed my walls and shaped me into a man of honor, a man worthy of love and bein' loved. You were never afraid of me. You never judged me until I needed that judgement, that lecture to point me back to who I truly am.

"I've always wondered how you could see so much in me when I saw none of it. I saw the same angry redneck most people still see today, but you…just knew I was made to be more. You inspired me to change, to do better, to be more involved. You cared for me and loved me. And I thought I was training you, looking after you, checking in on you, but no, it was the other way around. You singled me out from the group and made me belong somewhere for the first time in my whole life….

"You brought two beautiful and amazing girls into my life, girls I proudly watch grow, girls I love and am the father of. Girls who stand by us today to see the love that brought them into this new world, and soon…we'll have another child to add to what we've already built. I'm not scared. I'm ready for whatever comes next in this journey with you, and I'm gonna be your sword, your shield and your strength when you need me to be.  _If_  you need me to be. You got…endless pockets of each." He released one hand to reach up and cup her cheek, she closed her eyes at the contact, a tear sliding free, and she nuzzled her cheek into the warmth of his palm. "You are why I've survived my old and new life. You are…my soul, Carol, and I want to be with you until the end our story. To have and to hold. Through sickness and in health. Till death parts us." And with those words, he slipped the perfectly crafted and sized ring onto her finger.

Carol opened her eyes and exhaled as more tears fell free, grinning at him like he was every reason to smile that ever existed. "You couldn't have made it easy for me, huh? How am I supposed to follow that?"

Laughter erupted from the right of them, Carol hardly noticed, and Daryl chuckled, bowing his head for a moment before lifting it to meet her eyes. He reclaimed her hand and laced his fingers once more through hers, and he whispered words for only her ears. She nodded and decided to speak on how it's always been between them. There was nothing else to speak on than how they began, as the current was now, and the future was unknown.

"When I met you…you were like this surly young man who wouldn't listen to anybody about anything, and you pushed the entire world away. You pushed me away, but I decided I wasn't going to let that happen. I made a decision…for the first time in my life…to bravely approach this burley man and befriend him, because all I wanted and needed was a true friend. And what I found in you completely surpassed my expectations.

"What I found beyond the cutoff plaid sleeved and sour puss expressioned layers were the makings of a truly good man. I found my best friend. I found the very definition of honor. I found the man that every father tells his little girl doesn't exist, and the love there. God, the love there was tremendous. It was friendly and warm, a blanket and shield I desperately needed those long, challenging months on the road. It was competitive and secretive when your brother nearly came between us. When he nearly come between who you were and who he wanted you to be. It…was romantic and heady when I had thought that part of my life was over….

"Our love has always been in motion, Daryl Dixon. It is always in this constant movement, this constant change from hopeful strangers to best friends to lovers to husband and wife, and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for us. With our daughters who wouldn't be the young ladies they are today without your influence and guidance and love, with our baby boy who…will raise all sorts of hell, because what Dixon boy hasn't raised hell in the time we've known them?"

More laughter, and Rick nodded to Michonne, who sent him a "Of course I know Merle was a handful. He tried to kill me. A lot." look, and Carl snorted a laugh at the expression. Daryl laughed, too, because it was so fucking true.

"I can't thank the forces that brought us together enough. Be it God or the Universe or…pure luck, I am forever thankful. There is no one else I would want to be my sword, my shield and my strength, but most importantly, above all else, my husband. I am honored on this day to become Carol Dixon." She beamed at him around the tears profusely trickling down her cheeks. "You are my soulmate, Daryl, and I am…blessed to be in love with you for the first time but never the last time. I could never love you last, because every day I fall in love. That won't ever stop. You are my first love every single morning all over again."

Gabriel sputtered out a choked sob at her words. "Sorry," he whispered.

Carol laughed gently and met Daryl's eyes, gliding his ring over the length of his finger to its final resting place. "In all my nine lives, you are the love of it every single time."

He dropped her hands and cupped her cheek, wiping away the tears and adjusting the smudged makeup, bringing her face up and kissing her deeply—thoroughly—and throwing fucks to the window at how it might be seen as embarrassingly, because he kissed her with every ounce of love he felt for her in that moment.

Applause broke through the barrier their love had built, everyone was once more on their feet, clapping and whooping, and Gabriel's voice broke through with: "I now pronounce you husband and wife!"

Daryl broke the kiss and murmured, "I love you, Carol Dixon."

"I love you more, Daryl Dixon." She grinned at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, sealing his mouth with her painted lips.

* * *

The reception occurred at the school where Francine had been preparing the spoils of Noah and Eugene's hunting trip. There were chairs of all shapes and sizes stretching out onto the street, picnic tables were carried over, and blankets laid out on the ground—all for sitting and all angled to be around or facing the happy couple's table. There were even more flowers and candles on the ground and tables, and everyone came together to make today work. It was beautiful and touching, and Carol had to excuse herself to touch up her face, because she had to look like a ghoul by now.

Beth set up the microphone and its stand near the garage doors, alongside the guitar and digital piano. She was going to provide the couple's first dance song, and most of the music, because apparently no one thought about music or entertainment. Luckily, though, Enid was also a singer and didn't mind taking shifts with Beth. And to Beth's surprise, Noah volunteered to sing, too. She had heard him singing with Monroe, but she never thought he'd do so in front of other people. She wrapped her arms around his neck and told him they were going to sing a duet. He instantly argued with it—lightheartedly—but her word was law in high heels and fat curls.

Carol touched up her makeup and carefully removed the veil from her hair, smiling at who that left behind, and she couldn't make the smile shrink or fade. She was blissful. She hadn't felt this way since Charlotte was born, healthy and alive. Or when she saw Daryl and held him in her arms for the first time in years. Or when she saw Mika again. Rare moments of bliss.

She set her hand on her stomach and stroked it with her thumb. "We need to talk to your daddy."

"What about?" Daryl stood in the hall, having come to look for her once the small talk had proven to be too much without her by his side, and he looked down at her stomach with a slight frown on his lips. "Is somethin' wrong?"

"Not wrong, just…complicated." She bit her bottom lip and grasped his hand, escorting him to the living room of the house connected to the school. She sat him down and tucked hair behind her ear, searching his eyes and smiling at him. "I love you, you know that right?"

"The whole town knows it." He didn't like this conversation already. "What happened?"

"I went to see Nina."

He blanched. "What? Why would you do that? I told you we'd handle it."

"I—I know you did. I know you had it all worked out on interrogation and who would do what when, but Daryl, she's a member of those assholes. I—I had to know who and what we were up against, beyond Ila and Eeron. Beyond the group members we saw in the woods." She set her hand over his on his knee. "I had to know."

"What'd she tell you?"

She rehashed the information Nina had given her on the Shah, of the type of children they hunted and age they preferred them to be at. She could see he didn't like it. And it wasn't because they were likely child sacrificing assholes, but because she had taken time out of her resting day to go down to the cells and demand answers from Nina. A threat. She hadn't even gotten to the physical altercation between the two of them, and he was already frowning.

"So, in two years when Charlotte becomes eight, they'll be coming for her." She gripped his hand firmly. "And as for now…Nina said they were desperate. They'd go after Judith simply because she's about the right age with the right skin."

"But her eyes are brown."

"Desperate times," she reminded him.

He shook his head. "Look, why don't we talk about this tomorrow? Judith is dancin' with Rick right now. I'll keep an eye on her, and we can call a town meetin', go over this with more detail and with Nina."

She wet her lips. "It won't be that simple."

"Why not? We got people waitin' to give speeches, waitin' to dance with you and take a couple pictures. We got… I dunno, one of those couple dances comin', and Beth found some non alcoholic champagne in the cellar at Deanne's place. We can both drink that durin' the speeches and toasts." He smiled at her. "C'mon, it'll be great."

"No, Daryl, that all sounds lovely. I'm looking forward to it, but it won't be that simple to question Nina, because I shot her in the kneecap and stabbed her in the shoulder." She lowered her eyes when a muscle in his jaw jumped. She could almost hear his teeth gritting as he rubbed his hands over his jeans. "She threatened our son, Daryl. I had no choice."

He shook his head. "They were just words, Carol. How could you…?" He studied her body language, her resignation, and frowned. "It wasn't just words, was it?" He reached over and grasped her wrist, which was currently covered by a sleeve. "This ain't just part of the dress, it it?"

She slowly shook her head no and met his eyes. "The knife was at threatening to kick me until I miscarried. The…um, gunshot was due to a physical fight we had."

"What?" His voice was like a blade slicing across a record disk, and she gulped. "You're pregnant. You can't fight anybody."

"I know that, but she came at me unexpectedly, and…she sprained my wrist. She cut me, too." She removed her hand from his and placed them on her lap. "She…cut my stomach, Daryl."

"What?" It was now whisper-thin, and he blanched even more, staring at her and turning towards her on the couch. "Oh, my God, is the baby okay? Honestly, okay? Let me see the cut."

She nodded. "The baby is honestly okay. I—I checked in with Denise. I had to be sure the baby was all right. I didn't mean to put us in danger. I only needed answers. She is the only person I could turn to for those answers. I am so sorry."

"She coulda killed him," Daryl murmured softly, brokenly.

"I know, but she didn't. That's the most important part to take away from this. She didn't, and I got answers."

"At what cost, Carol?!" he snapped, rising off the couch and whirling around to stand in front of her. "Our baby for a few more bits of information we coulda gotten without any bloodshed?!"

"We don't know if she would've told us anything without bloodshed!"

"Well, now we don't!"

"I'm sorry."

"God, Carol, I—I can't do this." He gripped his jaw and met her eyes, tears sparkling there. "I can't do this."

"D—do what?" Her entire body had ran cold, and she couldn't breathe. The entire room felt as if they were space with a breach on the ship, which vacuum-sucked all the air out until they were choking.

"Will you stop this shit? Please?" She said nothing, but her eyes dropped even lower. "You want her dead so bad you don't care what happens to you."

"That's not true," she weakly elicted.

"You never came back from the Kingdom. It's been like talking to a goddamn ghost these last few days."

She swallowed and lifted her head. "I'm doing the best I can."

He leaned in and thrust a finger into his chest. "I'm the one you tell. Me." He waved his left hand to emphasis the ring there. "You come to me with any concerns with the Shah, not fuckin' Nina." It came out softly, lovingly, and he sighed. "You come to me."

"I don't know how." A tear slipped from her eye, and she wiped it away quickly, wrapping her arms around herself and shivering.

"You gotta try, all right? C'mere." He held his hand out, she accepted it and buried herself in his arms, and he kissed her hair. "I'm always here for you, Carol. When are you gonna realize we're on the same side?"

"I know we are, but you don't seem as concerned about the Shah as I do." She spoke into his shoulder and tried not to cry.

"'Course I'm concerned. I just don't let it rule me. You got this…tunnel vision when it comes to Charlotte and Ila. Nothin' else matters or exists when it all comes into focus, and it terrifies me."

"You try losing a child and withstanding threats on another."

He held her tighter and rubbed her back, consoling her and soothing her worries and doubts regarding the Shah. He vowed they would question Nina tomorrow and come up with a solution together, as a couple and as a town.

"Thank you." She rested her forehead against his chin and snuffled, and he placed a kiss there on her brow. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Mom? Dad?" Mika knocked on the doorframe and smiled at the sight of them all cuddled up together. "Hey, it's time for your first dance as a married couple."

"Oh." Carol carefully rubbed at her eyes. "Is it?"

"Yep." She grinned. "I picked the song. Well, Charlotte and me picked it, but it was mostly mine. I'm going to sing it with Beth since we don't have the music, and Enid is going to back us up on the guitar. We just did a sample, and it sounds bitchin'."

Carol laughed. "What did you just say?"

"What? Those were Enid's words." She laced her fingers together. "C'mon!"

"Wait, wait." Daryl waved her further into the room, and she obliged. "What did you want to talk to us about? We got a minute."

"Oh, that. It's…" She sighed. "I had sex with Henry at this last visit, and I thought I was pregnant, but I'm not."

Daryl tensed in Carol's arms, and Carol decided to take over the conversation. "What?"

"We made the decision together. We'd been dating for a long time, and we love each other. It happened organically, and it…was nice. Until I thought I was pregnant that is."

"And how do you know you're not?"

"Guess what came?" She laughed dryly at their expressions. "I—I got my period during the ceremony."

"That doesn't mean anything." Carol approached her. "We'll talk to Denise and be sure."

"I can be pregnant and still bleed?" She frowned. "Seriously?"

She nodded. "I've known women who've had their period throughout their entire pregnancy."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Yeah, I'll bet it does." She wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Look, I'll talk to you about Henry later, and we'll definitely be going to speak to Denise, but for now let's just enjoy the wedding."

"Why Denise? Because she's a woman doctor?"

"She's our only doctor."

"Right, I…I'd forgotten." She swallowed. "That's fine. I have a ton of questions for her."

"Yeah, me too." Carol clearly didn't know a whole lot about her body, because Ed always wanted her in the dark. It was his second body to own and control, and anything she had questions on, he beat them back. No more. She needed to learn for her daughters and herself, because she was not going through another pregnancy after this one. "We'll get to answering all questions—tomorrow."

"About my fox too?" she hopefully inquired. "We'll talk about the fox?"

"I suppose." She looked at Daryl for support now, and he caught up to them at the door. "Any opinions?"

"Yeah, we'd better get out there before Beth comes to find us," Daryl stated.

They departed from the house, Mika ran over to the mic where Beth was, and Daryl clasped her hand, leading her around their table to the driveway where they would have their first dance as husband and wife. He had no lessons on how to dance, but Beth assured him it was rocking back and forth; and he knew Carol would assist him if he needed it, so he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Enid began the introduction to the song, Mika and Beth both grinned at the sight of the happy newlyweds, and Carol rested her hands at the base of Daryl's neck.

"You ready for this?" She searched his eyes. "We've come so far, and we have so far yet to go. Are you ready for it?"

"With you by my side, 'course." He gripped her waist. "This family is all I need."

She smiled at him and kissed him. "This family is all I need, too."

"No more sneakin' off for secret interrogations?"

"No more," she vowed. "It's you and me."

" _And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. And sooner or later it's over; I just don't wanna miss you tonight_ ," Beth sang, holding onto Mika's hand as she sang alongside here. " _And I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."_

"Since when does our daughter know about the Goo Goo Dolls?" Carol whispered, resting her head on his chest as they rocked back and forth, not too flashy, but entirely romantic.

"The who?" Daryl inquired.

"Right, different tastes in music."

"Not big into music," he confessed.

"Don't let Beth hear you say that."

"Noted." He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Hmm."

"What?" She lifted her head.

"Nothin', I just…really like this."

"It's called dancing." She grinned at him. "You like dancing?"

"Guess so—but only with you." He heedfully dipped her back, as he'd seen Merle do with women he wanted to charm, and a few times in the movies. He'd also seen Mika and Charli dancing a few times over the years, and Charli would insisted on being dipped.

Carol blinked when he righted her, and she slid her arm down to his forearm. "Did you just dip me?"

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"No, I…like learning more about you. Apparently, I'm in for more surprises." She chuckled happily. "I can't wait to see more of you, Mr. Dixon."

"Oh, you'll see plenty of me when we get home, Mrs. Dixon." He leaned down and slowly kissed her, savoring the taste of her lips and the traces of her tongue against his. She moaned against his lips and pushed up on the tips of her toes, demanding more, and he would have happily taken her to the bedroom only twenty feet away and given her exactly the more she demanded, but at the clearing of throats, he decided to wait on that. After all, they had the rest of their lives.

_"I just want you to know who I am…."_


	37. Goodbye Grove

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

The day of the trial came, Nina had explained her role with the Shah and how she was cast out, and several people spoke on her behalf. Carol felt for them but wouldn't be moved. Daryl ensured she stayed beside him the entire time to keep her from wandering to have another chat with Nina when she was escorted back to the cells. The council when into deliberation, and Carol wasn't sure how they would vote.

They had no means of keeping Nina here long term. They had the cells, but only two, and it wouldn't be an ideal situation to pamper her there for being a rat. She would be safe and fed if she were to remain here, and that wasn't exactly a punishment fit for her crimes. She had betrayed every single person, and those who sympathized with her had no idea the cruelty the Shah would inflict upon Judith and Charlotte should they get their hands on them. Otherwise they wouldn't speak on her behalf. They wouldn't have pleaded for her to stay and find some way to make amends. If Nina deserved amends, she would have come clean about the potential threat outside their walls.

However, they couldn't just exile her. She could return to the Shah, using inside information to win her way back into their inner circle. With that information, they could easily swoop into their town and steal the children they saw matched some psycho profile. Or were close enough to it to pass. Desperate times called for desperate measures, so they likely would allow her back into their ranks. Her and her information.

That only left one true option: death. They would have to kill her. It would ensure none of the Shah learned of any other entrances and exits to Alexandria, and they had no more access to view and select matching profiles from their children beyond what they saw when the gates briefly opened. Well, that and whatever information Mordin had given them. They had no way of knowing what Mordin had given them, but they knew they couldn't allow Nina to give them any more. It stopped with her. It all stopped with her.

The council returned from deliberating, Gabriel said Nina had one final request—to speak to Carol—and then they would handle her as decided on. Carol was stunned but accepted the offer. Daryl said he was coming with her, and they headed to the cells to speak with Nina Rizzoli for possibly the last time in her life.

Carol laced her fingers through Daryl's as they approached the bars, and Daryl offered her a reassuring smile.

"I thought you both might come." Nina sat on the bed, wrapped up like a mummy. "I'm glad."

"Glad?" Carol narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"Because I have several things I'd like to say to both of you." She drew air into her lungs and tried not to cry. "I'm sorry, for starters, about the events that happened on your wedding day. I hope I didn't ruin it."

"You didn't," Carol murmured. "How'd you even know we got married?"

"I could hear the music and announcements." She smiled. "You must have been a beautiful bride."

"She was." Daryl smiled at his wife then turned his gaze back to Nina. "What do you have to say to us? Beyond the apology."

"I wanted to say…" She shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable, but that was impossible with her kneecap in tatters and her shoulder torn up. She hadn't received any pain meds for hours now, and she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. If she was lucky, she wouldn't have to deal with it much longer. "…they're going to get Charlotte. That's not a threat; it's a promise. They will find someway to get by the walls and the guards, and they will snatch her. You might want to accept that now."

Carol started to lunge at the bars, but Daryl set a hand on her stomach, reminding her of the life she needed to remain calm for. She tightened her grip on his hand and did nothing more.

"And thirdly…" A tear fell free, and she smiled softly, "just kill me."

Carol frowned, her brows knitting together, and she met Daryl's eyes. She shook her head and turned back to Nina. "Why would we do that?"

"Because you can't keep me here indefinitely. You can't send me on my way. So, death is the only choice there is. I'm choosing to embrace it rather than fight it." Her shoulders trembled and she laughed. "I should have been honest from the beginning, but I wanted to put distance between me and the Shah. I couldn't…forgive them, but I could forget them. I could try."

Daryl lowered his eyes. "Nina, we can't do that."

"Yes, you can." She snuffled and tried to stop crying, but she was terrified. She wasn't going to see tomorrow, and that terrified her. She wanted nothing more than go back to the beginning and explain it all to Deanna and Reg, but she couldn't. She could no more go back in time than she could fight her fate right now. She was trying to embrace it, but she couldn't stop shaking. She didn't want to die. She didn't want this to be the end of her life.

But she had no choice. She hadn't been honest when Deanna spoke to her. She hadn't been honest when she judged Carol for being dishonest. She hadn't been truthful to the woman her parents had wanted her to be. This wasn't how she wanted to remember her life. As a lair, as a traitor, as…a person who put a child in danger to save their own skin. This wasn't at all who she had hoped to become.

"Please, don't let them decide to kill me in front of a bunch of strangers." Her voice shook as she bawled. "I—I want it to be my choice. For the fi—first time in years, please, please let it be  _my_  choice."

Carol and Daryl exchanged a look, Nina trembled and sobbed as she pleaded for them to kill her, and Daryl told Carol to get a car. She wasn't sure what he needed a car for, but she nodded and headed out to retrieve one. Daryl unlocked the cell and picked up a bottle of morphine setting outside her cell that Denise had likely forgotten about. He filled a syringe and injected her with it carefully, dulling the pain he knew she was in.

She was a messy of snot and tears, big round eyes finding his, and she thanked him, grasping his hand and holding onto it tightly. "I really did love you," she whispered. "I was never lying about that."

"I know." He set the needle down on the bed beside her. "And I'm sorry, Nina."

Carol returned ten minutes later, Daryl was carrying an unconscious Nina out in his arms, and he carefully placed her in the backseat. Carol asked what he was planning to do, and he told her to stay and watch the kids, but she refused to sit back and leave this all to him. They were a team, and they would handle this together. He closed his eyes and nodded, knowing Rick would watch the kids overnight if neither of them came to fetch them.

They drove out of Alexandria, Carol looked back at Nina with worry as she hadn't moved in since Daryl had brought her out of the cells, and Daryl told her he'd sedated her for the trip. She asked where the end of this trip was, but he didn't answer. He simply kept driving.

* * *

They drove for several miles, the sun was beginning to sink beneath the clouds, and Carol was starting to get hungry. Daryl said there were granola bars in the glove compartment when she asked for a food break, and she frowned, wondering what made him so determined to keep on the road.

No one spoke as they continued to drive, Nina breathed lightly in the backseat, and Carol drifted off herself. Daryl continued to drive in silence, listening to the sounds of breathing around him, and he gripped the wheel tighter, his jaw clenched, and he hated this trip even more.

* * *

When the car finally stopped, Carol was starving for something other than granola and a bathroom break, and Nina was beginning to rouse. Daryl asked Carol to get out of the car, and Carol realized where they were. She hadn't even thought to guess how long she'd been asleep after the third time she'd passed out, but apparently, it'd been a while, because they were back at the grove.

Daryl helped Nina out of the car and carried her over to the house, Carol followed and noticed the bodies had been cleaned up from the last time they were here. Blood stained the steps, and there was no avoiding the memories it invoked. Carol hurried up them and caught Daryl as he placed Nina down on the couch.

"It's gettin' dark. I'll go collect dinner and some wood." He covered Nina up with a blanket. "Y'all wait here."

"Daryl, wait." Carol tried to grasp his arm, but he dodged her. "Daryl, please."

"Just wait here," he softly instructed and smiled at her, heading out.

Carol pressed her lips together and looked around, seeing everything was still in the same condition as they had left it in, and she went to the bathroom. Emptying her pressed bladder and washing her hands, she went back to the living room and sat down in the armchair. She rubbed her arm and looked over at Nina, who was still out of it from the sedative, and she exhaled, wondering what on earth Daryl had in mind for them.

"What's going on?" Nina murmured groggily, trying to shake her head and clear it, but the fog of morphine kept dragging her down.

"I don't know." She glanced over at the woman beside her and frowned. "You okay?"

"Some executioner." She heaved a sigh and shook her head. "I'm not crying, right?"

"That doesn't mean you're all right."

"True, true." She laughed dryly, wearily, and she looked over at Carol. "I've always liked you."

"Don't."

"It's the truth. I have nothing but the truth now." She wrapped her arms round herself and wet her lips. "We were friends, weren't we?"

"Yeah, at some point, I think we were." Carol dropped her hands to her stomach. "But you threatened my baby, and I can never look at you like that again."

"I did…do that." Tears once more sprang up in her eyes. "I threatened a baby."

"You did more than threaten."

"You had me against the wall, and you would have done the same in my shoes. Don't deny it."

"You aren't pregnant, Nina. There would have been no risk."

"We're not so different, you know." She snuffled. "We were both scared of being alone and made stupid choices because of it."

"We're nothing alike."

"We both love Daryl. We both love your kids. We both—"

"Nina, please, just shut up. He'll be back soon, and we'll find out what's going on here." She stood up and walked over to the fireplace, seeing the pictures of the family that was here before. She picked up a frame and saw Nina's reflection in it.

_A beat._

"Nina?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to die?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't want to die, but if I were to be exiled, I wouldn't be able to make it on my own. I'm weak, physically broken, and I wasn't meant to survive. There are people who thrive under change, and I'm just not one of them."

Carol's heart sunk at those words, recalling a time when she believed she was a burden and nothing more. She lowered the frame and faced Nina. "How do you know you wouldn't survive?"

"Look at me. I can't even walk. How do you expect me to tend to the garden, fetch water or even move into the bedroom?" She gestured to her broken body. "You made the impossible."

"You threatened my unborn child and stabbed me!"

"You stabbed me first," Nina pointed out.

"Why am I even talking to you?" She stormed out of the room and down the hall to her old bedroom, seeing the mattress was still on the bed, and it was made up. She frowned and recalled not leaving it in this condition. The Shah must have decided to use this as a safe house. And if that were true, then they were in danger, and they needed to get out of here.

"Nina." Carol ran back to the living room to find Nina still lying on the couch. "You okay?"

"Why do you care? I'm here to die, remember?"

"Get up. We need to wait in the car." She grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch. "C'mon, move."

"No." She shook her head. "If the Shah are here, if they are to return here, let them have me. They'll just kill me anyway, because I'm not fit for their tribe."

"It's a cult, not a tribe. And my husband brought you out here for some purpose, and I intend to see him see it through, so get up."

"Your husband is very lucky to have you, but no." She shook her head. "No. I am going to die. Stop trying to save me."

"I can't!" Carol snapped. "I can't just let you take this lying down. Literally lying down. You could easily survive your injuries, and you're not even going to try. You didn't try when you on the stand, and you're not trying now. You're just waiting for the easy way out."

"And you think dying is easy?"

"Yes, it is, because it's over for you. You don't have to lose anymore. You don't have to go hungry, or long for anything, or ache for those gone. You simply cease to be, and we will continue to mourn and move on for those gone, for those who were taken and left us with nothing, not even answers. We don't get to know what happens, like with Emily. She's just done."

"Do you blame me for that?"

"I just might." She tossed the blanket hard at Nina. "But for right now, get off your ass and move it, Rizzoli!"

"All right." She sat up with difficulty. "How do you know someone's even here?"

"Trust me."

Carol moved and helped her stand up, there was a sound of creaking coming from the back porch, and Carol escorted Nina down the hall to the bedroom. It was a tough walk to the back room, but they managed it. Carol set her down on the floor beside the bed, looking for the baseball bat she had left behind and arming herself with it since she didn't have anything but a knife. It wouldn't help her right now. She couldn't let them get too close.

There was the sound of someone exploring the house, stopping now and then to examine a room, and it wasn't Daryl. The steps were too light, and Carol positioned herself by the door, ready to kill anyone who walked through trying to take them or just one of them. She motioned for Nina to stay low in case they had a gun, and Nina nodded, gripping the blanket Carol had thrown at her anxiously, helplessly.

But no one ever entered their room. Carol waited and waited as they walked all through the living room and whispered to his or herself—likely herself by the light steps—but they never went any further than that. Carol frowned and strained her ears to try and make out any more sounds, but there was nothing. There was only the sound of the wind blowing in from the open back door.

"Wait here." Carol tossed the bat at her and pulled her knife from its sheath and explored the house room by room, creeping silently along, and she discovered the house was completely abandoned by them mystery member of the Shah. She headed to the back porch and found a basket of food. Its contents ranged from a freshly killed animal wrapped in plastic to jars of pickled foods, and there were unopened bottles of water there, too.

"What the hell?" She bent down and picked up a card with her name written on it. She opened it and found a brief note inside.

_—For the little one. Safety ensured. We would not wish harm upon the boy. Be well, Mother._

She crumpled the note and grabbed the basket, taking it inside and setting it on the kitchen counter, going through it and finding nothing suspicious. They honestly meant well in handing over this basket of food, but Carol wasn't going to chance it. She was going to leave this here for Nina, or cook it as Nina's final meal, or whatever else Daryl had in mind for her.

Carol closed and locked the back door, glancing out to see if she saw any movement, but there was nothing among the trees. She turned on her heel and nearly ran smack into Daryl, who had carefully edged inside the house at the sight of someone running from it. He grabbed her up in his arms and held her close.

"You're all right?"

She nodded. "They didn't get to us. They just left a basket of food."

He looked it over and frowned. "We'll leave it here."

"For Nina?" He nodded. "So…you're not going to kill her?"

He stroked her hair and smiled gently at her. "I'll be right back."

"Daryl—"

He left before she could finish speaking, and she was getting rather annoyed with him. Daryl returned from his gathering the items he discard on the porch to investigate the person who ran away, and he tossed logs into the fire, glancing at Carol and Nina who were both silently sitting in the living room, avoiding eye contact. He asked Carol to skin the rabbits he'd found. He would help her out in a second, he just wanted to get the fire started, and she nodded, taking them over to the kitchen to be skinned and cleaned. He asked Nina how she was holding up, and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Depends on what you have in mind for me."

"You'll see in the mornin'." He pulled a lighter from his pocket and grabbed a ball of newspaper from the stack beside the fireplace, using it as a starter.

Carol and Daryl prepared the meal of rabbit and potatoes—some had grown out in the garden and were still there and good to eat—and Daryl brought a plate over to Nina. She wasn't sure about eating it, and he told her to consider it a last meal of sorts, and she attempted to thank him, but she ended up in tears instead.

"I'll keep watch throughout the night," Daryl told Carol, joining her in the kitchen. "You need some sleep."

"What I need are answers." She met his eyes and asked, "What are we doing here?"

"We're gonna do what Nina asked of us," he replied. "We're gonna kill her."

"But out here?"

"Better us out here than them at home where every one of her former student can pass by her grave." He had a lot of good memories from their last visit here, and he could get a clear head here. If this was the right decision or not, he'd know by morning.

"That's true." She shook her head and prepared their plates. "Here."

"Thanks." He kissed her temple and set a hand on her stomach, stroking it carefully and murmuring, "We're doin' the right thing here."

"Then why does it feel so wrong?" She didn't like how it settled in her guts. "Hmm?"

"You'll feel better about it tomorrow," he assured her. "C'mon, eat."

They all picked at their meals before them. Carol didn't speak as Daryl made plans for heading home tomorrow morning, Nina lied down and cried herself to sleep from both pain and the death sentence she'd gotten herself into, and Daryl moved outside for the night. Carol wasn't able to fall asleep, so she picked a book from the shelf and curled up in the chair to read it. She looked over at Nina, at how peacefully she slept, and she returned her eyes to the book, trying to keep her focus.

When that didn't work, she joined Daryl on the back porch and sat on the steps, lacing her fingers together. She peered over at him, and he reached over and grasped her knee, rubbing it with his thumb and asking her why she couldn't sleep.

"I don't like this."

"I don't either," he confessed, "but she asked for it. All we can do is follow it through."

"That doesn't make me feel any better about it." She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I wish there was a better middle option."

"Yeah, me too." He kissed the top of her head and stroked her thigh. "We'll be okay."

"It's not us I'm worried about."

"All we can do is what she asked of us. It's why she wanted us to come down and see her. It's all we can do is answer her request, even if it sucks." He searched the night sky overhead. "The council wouldn't have decided to keep her, no matter how many people spoke on her behalf. You and I both know that. This is the best choice for her."

She buried her face in his shoulder. "I know you're right, even though it doesn't feel like it."

They stayed there together until Carol fell asleep, he carried her back inside the house and put her to bed. He checked in on Nina before returning to his post, and he sat down, picking up a thick branch and a spare knife from the kitchen. He got to work while keeping an eye on the forest for movement. He had a long, heavy night ahead of him, but it was for him to bear, and he would bear it. He had no choice.

* * *

In the morning, Daryl prepared the meat from the basket for Nina, adding in the pickled veggies while he prepared a nut and fruit meal for Carol from the food he'd gathered outside, and he set both bowl and plate at the table, carrying Nina over and setting her down gently. She thanked him weakly and stared at the food on her plate, and Carol joined them a moment later. He kissed her good morning, and she managed a smile.

"I'm not hungry." Nina poked at the cooked meat and let go of a whisper of a sigh. "Thank you, though."

"You should eat." Daryl helped himself to a peach from the basket since it had no puncture wounds when the skin was removed. It was safe to eat. He hoped.

"Why? I'll be dead before sundown." She set the fork down and straightened in the chair. "Can we not drag this out?"

He looked at Carol, who looked green around the gills, and he frowned. "You—"

She shot up from the chair and ran out of the house to the back porch, puking, and Daryl went after her. He rubbed her back through the wave of potential morning sickness, and he sat her down outside. She began to cry, and she said she couldn't do this.

"Do what?" He frowned. "Kill Nina?"

She nodded. "I know I should hate her for what she did, and I know I almost killed her in that cell, but it's not the same circumstances anymore. I can't just stand by and let you kill her—or kill her myself. I just… can't go through with this."

"We have to, Carol." He cupped her cheeks. "We just have to."

"Daryl, please, don't make me sit through this."

He sighed and kissed her brow. "C'mere." He helped her to her feet and pulled her into his arms, holding her close and whispering assurances into her ear. He had her wait there on the porch while he went inside and walked Nina out to the backyard. Carol was furious with him for continuing with this plan, and Nina was pale, shaking, and he stood her up beside the yellow wildflowers.

"Daryl," Carol warned, and he pulled that same kitchen knife from his belt. "Daryl!"

He met Nina's eyes, she was trembling and likely in pain from being forced to stand, and he readied himself. Carol tore off the porch to stop him, but by the time she reached him, she thought it was too late. However, the scene before was different from what she had expected.

He had raised his knife up, but instead of striking, he grabbed her ponytail and cut her hair off. He dropped the chopped hairs onto the ground and handed her a crutch crafted from the thick branch he'd found in the woods. It would support her weight, and she would be able to use it as a weapon should she need it.

"There. Nina Rizzoli is dead." He handed over his knife. "Be someone else—someone better—and let Nina die."

Carol was stunned, and Nina matched her in both feeling and expression. "Daryl…"

"I ain't gonna kill you," he stated. "That ain't for me or anybody to decide. You made bad choices, but we all have. You deserve a chance to make it right. Just not with us. You ain't welcome in our community ever again. Do you understand me?"

She nodded hastily. "Yes."

"You've got food and water here. You can walk with that crutch, and there's plenty of ways for you to survive out here. I don't wanna hear any complaints. You're on your own." He dug out the bottle of morphine and held it out to her. "I know you grabbed the syringe."

"Guilty." She pulled it out of her back pocket.

"This is a partin' gift." He let her accept the bottle. "Take care, stranger."

She smiled faintly as tears bunched up in her eyes. "Thank you."

He said nothing to her, simply grasped his wife's hand and guided her back to the car. She wrapped her arm around his, and he kissed her forehead, "Let's go home."

She couldn't agree with that statement more, ans they pulled out of the grove and headed for the road, Carol inquired, "Do you think she'll make it?"

"Maybe," Daryl replied, looking back once before the house fell out of sight. "But it ain't for us to know."

She gripped her seat belt. "She deserves whatever comes to her."

"Yeah," he agreed, "she does."

* * *

When they finally arrived home days later, Rick and Michonne were concerned and demanded to know what the hell happened to Nina. Daryl explained that they had done what needed to be done, and Nina was out of their lives forever. It was the same decision the council had come to, and there was no point in arguing. Daryl was just glad to be home with his girls. He would protect them come hell or high water, and that wasn't a threat; it was a promise.


	38. Uneasy Farewell

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. There are several time jumps throughout this chapter.** _

* * *

**Part III: A Soul's Unrest**

Daryl and Carol both attended the doctor's appointment with Mika, and all tests confirmed she was not pregnant. Denise sat her down and explained to her how she could get pregnant and how she wasn't right now. Carol learned quite a lot from the conversation, and Daryl was praying Mika never had sex again, because he couldn't take it. He could not live like this. He was about to be a father for the third time, and he could not handle another baby, another title, not right now. Carol told him later he made the situation too much about him and not enough about Mika. He agreed with her and said they had a honeymoon they needed to catch up with.

"Hmm. See, I think we did that already." She ate peanut butter from the jar with a spoon.

"What? When?" he demanded.

"At the Kingdom. That was like a honeymoon."

He smacked his head on the counter. "You're cruel."

"You are not so sex deprived that you need a honeymoon," she commented. "Besides I'm hungry right now, so no."

He lifted his head. "Is it gonna be like this the entire time?"

"No, it won't always be like this, but for today, yes it shall be." She smirked at him and scooped out more peanut butter.

* * *

That night when Mika came home, Daryl decided it was time to have a talk. So, after dinner, he put Charli down for the night with Mika's help then walked her to her room and lingered for a moment, and she noticed.

"It's never just sex, you know," Daryl commented. "It's…givin' up a part of yourself to another person for forever."

"A piece?" She arched a brow. "Do you mean the concept of a virginity? Because I talked to Enid about it, and—"

"No, kiddo, I ain't talkin' 'bout your virginity. It's so much more than you're able to understand right now." He sat down on the edge of her bed and sighed. "I wish you woulda waited till you were older. You're so young, Mika."

"I don't feel young." She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them. "I feel…exhausted—from the dancing with Charli, not from a depression or anything."

"I know." He met her eyes. "Henry's a good kid. I do like him a lot. I just…don't see a future for you two."

"You don't?" She frowned. "Why not?"

"Those are my reasons, and I don't want you to cut a good relationship short, because of my reasons. Whether it eats you alive or not."

She scoffed. "You and Mom have sex all the time. How is that different than my one, single time with Henry? We're both in love."

He wanted to pitch himself out the window and escape into the night, but honestly, she might just fucking follow him. "Yeah, Carol and I…have an active sex life, but it ain't near the same."

"Because you're older? Because you have me, Charlotte and my brother?"

"Because…we're it for each other. We made the decision, and it feels right. We're struggle with some parental issues about our son, but overall, we're great. We…admit we have faults and are working to resolve them, yeah?" She nodded. "We're open with each other. We fight with each other. We disagree, but at the end of the day, the love is still the same. Can you say the same for you and Henry?"

She hesitated. "Okay, so we're just kids then. But! But I love Henry, and I know I do."

"That's good. Love is good."

"But I don't want to be bound to one person for the rest of my life. I want to explore and bring more people into our communities." She bit her bottom lip briefly. "I don't want to explore with Henry."

"Why not?"

"Because he wants to help cement the Kingdom's future, and sorta only the Kingdom. I'm sure he factors in the others, but he's tunnel vision on the Kingdom."

He nodded. "But you love him?"

"I do. I think we'll be happy for a while, but I think you're right about us not being like you and Mom. That's okay with me. We still have fun together and make each other happy. We come to decisions together. We're still a team, and as long as we're a team, I think we'll be fine." She smiled now. "He makes me happy, and that's good enough for me right now."

"Don't make me a grandpa," he threatened lightly. "Not yet."

"I promise." She stretched out her legs.

He groaned. "I love you, kid."

She giggled and rose up on her knees to hug him. "I love you, Dad." She sank back onto her bed and met his eyes. "We're being completely open with each other, right?"

"Right."

"Is…always like that? I mean…does it always hurt?" She tucked hair behind her ears. "It was nice to be near Henry like that, but…I don't think I liked it. Is it just because it was my first time? The next time won't feel like that? Or is it like…the more you do it, the better it gets? Or is it the person? Henry seemed to…you know, have a good time with it, and I did too but not in the same way…?" She shook her head. "I just have so many questions. Can I ask you? We're already talking about it anyway."

He nodded as though he had this profound answer for her, and she leaned closer to him only for him to say, "Ask your mom."

"But I'm asking you."

"I know, but please ask your mom."

"Fine." She peeked at him. "What's your favorite way to put Mom in the mood?"

"Mika!"

"What? I just wanna know how you approach the subject with her is all. Is it like…a conversation? Or does it just happen? Because I don't want to ask Henry for sex. That seems super weird."

"Okay, I'm leavin', but I'll have Carol come talk to you at some point tomorrow."

"Why are you leaving? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Very." He nodded. "This is a woman's conversation, too."

"Oh." She nodded back in understanding. "So, Mom can help me have a better sex life. Got it."

He paled and wanted to punch himself with a sledgehammer to forget this conversation.

Mika giggled. "I'm  _so_  kidding. Consider it payback." She reached over and flicked her light off. "Good night, Daryl."

"Yeah, 'night." He closed her door behind him and shuddered. He returned to his room to find Carol in her robe; he closed their bedroom door and called out to her.

"Hey." She tossed a smile over her shoulder. "They go down easy?"

"Charlotte was easy. Mika…has sex questions." He shuddered again and began to remove his belt. "Real…deep questions."

"I'm not surprise. She's always been a curious child. Sex should be no different." She closed the door and faced him. "And there are important things she should know. Things my mother never told me."

"What kinda things?" He was either going to be aroused or scarred.

"Like to pee after sex," she replied. "And sometimes knowing your body beforehand helps."

"Knowing her body?" He frowned, shaking his head. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, Daryl." She smiled sweetly at him. "I'm talking about masturbation."

"Oh, Jesus, Carol!" He wanted to be sick. "Why?"

"Because if she knows what she likes, she can show him how she likes it. Henry shouldn't be the only one getting off."

"Can we not talk about this?" He wanted to hurl. "Please? Christ, one minute she's too awkward for horseback riding lessons, and now masturbation is somethin' she might do."

"She won't get pregnant that way." Carol sauntered over him and helped him to unbutton his shirt. "Look, I know it makes you uneasy, but she'll figure her body out in her own time, with or without a talk with me. It's human nature, Daryl. Don't tell me you weren't jerking it whenever you could at her age."

He blushed up to his roots. "It ain't the same."

"How isn't it?"

"Girls…shouldn't do that."

"Girls or your girl?" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him flush against her. "Hmm?"

"I still see the little girl with messy leggings and a braid in her hair," he whispered. "How'd she grow up so fast?"

"She's not grown, but she is older." She searched his eyes and stroked the hairs at the base of his neck. "You need to be prepared for adult conversations with her, and I don't mean all the sex conversations, just…adult content."

He heaved a sigh and hung his head. "I ain't ready for this."

"No parent is ever ready, trust me. I've been dreading this since she first crushed on Henry."

"I didn't think she'd…get there so quickly. Thought I had more time."

"We always think we have more time than we do." She smiled thoughtfully at him. "But we make it work, and I will handle Mika's questions."

"Thank you."

"Now," she tilted her head to the side with a seductive smile, "why don't you focus on your new wife? I hear she's feeling very amorous, and she isn't sure what to do about it."

"Oh yeah?"

She nodded. "I mean…we were talking about masturbation. Why don't I show you a little bit of what I like…and you show me what you like?"

His mouth ran bone dry at the thought of Carol pleasuring herself. He used to think about it all the time when they were apart to let some steam off, and he'd thought about it a few times when they were just a couple and Carol would make a raunchy joke. He just thought she'd never need to do that again, if he could help it.

"Under one condition," Daryl remarked.

She slid her hands down from his neck to his forearms. "I'm listening."

"I get to do to you what gets you off."

"You sure about that?"

He grinned. "I'm sure about that."

"All right." She stepped back and slipped out of her robe, leaving her completely naked. "But some rules." She smiled sweetly at him like she wasn't naked and looking stunning.

"Rules?" He drank in her body and quickened his efforts to join her, though some joy was killed at the sight of the bandage on her belly. He had forgotten all about it until now. Fucking Nina. "What rules?"

"You make breakfast in the morning," she listed. "And…you can only refer to me as your wife."

He nearly laughed. "What kinda rules are those?"

"Mine."

"Well, Mrs. Dixon, I accept your terms and conditions." She smirked at him. "And am prepared for your sore and tired body come tomorrow."

Her smirk deepened. "Daryl, you have no idea the things you've done me while I've masturbated to you, but sure,  _I'll_  be sore and tired."

Okay, that may have scared him, but he was horny and enthralled by her nudity, and the rest of the world faded from sight.

* * *

The next morning Daryl kept his word and made breakfast. Charlotte was peppy and offered to help, and he glad to have a sous chef with him. He let her help with the pancakes, and she noticed the bruises forming on his wrists. He blushed when she asked what happened and said it was nothing.

"Oh, gross." Mika sat down at the table.

"What's gross?" Daryl looked over at her then back when Charlotte asked if it was time to flip the pancake. "Not yet, kiddo."

"You know what's gross."

"No, I don't know what's gross. That's why I asked." He told her it was time now and helped her flip the pancake. "So, what's gross?"

"The very loud rattling I heard this morning," Mika answered. "Followed by moaning and grunting. And I'm pretty sure I heard one of you guys—"

"Mika." Carol entered the kitchen and shook her head. "Those were the sounds of me trying to fit into jeans."

"Sure, "jeans"." She shuddered and picked up the glass of milk Dad likely poured for Charli before she offered to help cook and drank.

"It was." Carol joined her daughter and husband. "Those look great."

"All thanks to little chef here." Daryl ruffled her hairs, and she grinned up at them.

"I can't wait to eat them." She pulled down plates and glasses. "Mika, after we finish eating, we'll go have a talk, okay?"

She nodded. "Sounds like a plan. I'm surprisingly starving after being scarred for life." She hopped up to lend a hand.

"I told you: my jeans are my enemy." They truly were…for about ten minutes then they had a quickie, because apparently Carol grunting and groaning turned him off. Or they were still sensitive from last night, which was...intense for just married sex. Four hours of just married sex and a bath. A sexy bath. God, last night was good. She was getting bruises to prove it.

"Then why not wear what you wore when you were pregnant with Charli?" She filled the glasses with milk and looked for the honey jar.

"Because I made baby clothes for Charli out of them."

"That's a good reason."

"Yeah, I'll have to make myself some maternity clothes tonight." She helped herself to a pancake. "We have a lot on our agenda today. You girls have class late with Beth and Tyreese. Mika and I have to have a talk. I have a doctor's appointment."

She nodded. "Could I join you at the appointment?"

"I don't think you'll be able to with class. I'm sure they're at the same time." Carol set the pancake down and wiped her hands together. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I just...wanted to tag along, but we're having a talk, right?"

"Definitely."

"Good." She had a lot of questions she needed answered, and Dad was no help. Maybe now she could get the answers she needed and not have an embarrassed man on her hands.

* * *

Daryl approached the house, hand over his gun, and he exhaled deeply, the wind picking up. He padded up the stained steps and entering without knocking. He was surprised to find the house unlocked, and he pulled his gun out. He crept through the door and stomping his boot three times to call any walkers to him.

There were no sounds inside the house, and he walked through it, checking the back then moving to the front. He found a massive blood stain just by the back door with a stick coated in blood in the middle of it. He bent down and examined the area, shaking his head and following the stain out the back door, seeing a pile of dead walkers in the backyard. There was no evidence left of Nina. Only decayed walkers that were puncture through the head, and the ones that broken through were long gone.

He was glad. He didn't want this weight on his chest. She was a friend to him once, but she betrayed that. He would have killed her easily were it not for the struggle he saw Carol going through. She knew she needed to die, but she saw something similar in her briefly. Maybe it was the baby influencing her, maybe it was just stres, but Carol couldn't witness her death at Daryl's hand. She was a warrior, but in that moment she was just a mother, watching a former friend pale and silently beg for her life.

He walked over to Hershel's grave and smiled, kneeling over and setting a hand on the soil. "Hey, Hershel. It's been a long time. I have some news for you." He smiled to himself. "I don't know where to begin. First of all…you're a grandfather on both sides…."

He spent a good hour talking to Hershel's grave, tending to the overgrown flowers there, and he said his goodbyes to the great man there. He wouldn't be back. No one would. The road was overgrown as well, and it was difficult to make out. Were he not the tracker he was, he would have gotten lost. But he was the tracker he was, and he did find his way back. He had to say goodbye to Hershel and let the old man know what was what with his girls. It's what Daryl would want.

And he had to check on Nina. Finish that business before it was too late. He didn't know if those assholes would take her back after trying to kill her. He didn't know if she would even survive out here all by herself, but he had the answer now. He had no qualms about it. She was gone, and the rest of the world would not be fazed by it.

He left the grove then, and he didn't look back once. He felt a page turn, closing this chapter in his life, and he felt only relief. He never knew what Nina was meant to be to him, but he was glad it was nothing now. He had let of any of likeness he had for her the moment she came out as one of those freaks. Ex-freak or not, she put them all in danger without telling them what was going on outside their gates and the world had paid her back in kind. That was good enough for him.

* * *

Her lips parted in a soft moan, her legs dragged down his back, and he traced his tongue along her entrance, savoring the flavor there, and he placed a kiss to her thigh. She was quivering at his every action, and he knew just how to work her. They hadn't had time alone for anything in the past three weeks, and he was aching for her. He missed her everything—how she kissed him, how she touched him, how she moaned his tongue caressed that sensitive bead inside of her—and he was so fucking thrilled she had come up to him during his session with the kids to invite him out here. Home wasn't safe, not with the girls coming in and out at all times of the day, especially since with Charli always asking for help on the steps since she was so small for her age, and there was no privacy.

But here? There was no way they would be interrupted. They were almost all alone in the hayloft of the stable Abraham and Morgan had built years ago, and once the candles took care of the smell of barn animals, it was just the two of them and the scent of cinnamon rolls. It was a bit overpowering, but he didn't care. He could be with his wife the way he'd wanted to for weeks now, and they would leave on limps legs by the time he was done.

She cried out, her thighs tightening on his neck, and he kept up his stroke, feeling she was getting closer and closer to that edge, and he glided two moist fingers across her entrance, teasing her highly sensitive sex, and she purred. He knew she was almost there, so he quickened his motions, his groin burning against his jeans. He knew once she was free flying over the edge, he could join her and be inside of her, and that was what he wanted—to be buried inside of her, to be home—but he couldn't just yet. Not just yet.

"Oh, Daryl!" Her fingers dug into the blanket she'd brought with her, her legs stiffening, and when she came, she came  _hard_. She groped for him blindly as the orgasm rocked through her, seeming amplified by the lack of one for weeks, and he rubbed his face his on the corner of his elbow before going to her.

"I missed this," she murmured, not having opened her eyes yet, smiling at him.

"Missed this, too." He kissed her lightly, moving down from her lips to her collarbone to the space between her sensitive breasts to her plump belly and back. "Glad you thought of this."

"Me, too." She opened her eyes and pawed her hand down his chest. "We should hurry. I have to teach a self-defense class in forty minutes or so."

"Forty minutes?" He smirked. "We got plenty of time."

And they did. After the second round, however, someone decided to pay a visit to the horses, and to their horror, it was Charlotte and Hershel. They quickly dressed themselves and cleaned up all the evidence in case they came up to the hayloft, but they were distracted by their own conversation, and they were so cute, holding hands and feeding Saddie. Carol could imagine them having a lasting friendship their entire lives, and Daryl narrowed his eyes at the smooth little punk who might marry his little girl. He loved Hershel very much, but that was his little girl. He was highly on guard after Mika's surprise. He couldn't live with another shock from his daughters. Hell, the girl already called Hershel her boyfriend, and he was too scared to ask if she mean "boy friend", as in a boy who is a friend, or "boyfriend" as in Daryl was going to die early and potentially take Glenn with him. (He'd raised a good boy, but Daryl wouldn't go down alone.)

"It smells funny in here," Hershel declared.

"It's a barn. They always smell funny."

Daryl and Carol exchanged a glance and looked at the candle burning between them, among other things.

"We should go riding," Charlotte suggested to Hershel. "Let's get your mom."

"She's busy." He shook his head. "Let's get your mom."

"She's pregnant," Charli reminded him. "Oh, let's get Glenn!"

"Yeah, good idea!"

They ran out of the barn to locate Glenn, Carol folded up the blanket and blew out the candle, and they scurried out of the barn. Carol couldn't help but break out in a fit of giggles at nearly being caught by the kid they were trying to avoid this entire time, and Daryl kissed her brow, saying he loved her.

"I should get this stuff into the laundry." She patted the blanket under her arm. "I'll see you at home tonight."

"See you at home." He kissed her. "Take it easy in class."

"I'll try." She grinned at him. "I love you, too, by the way."

"I thought so." He stroked her cheek. "Always like to hear it, though." He dropped his hand to her round belly. "Eat somethin'. Little guy's bound to be hungry."

"I will."

"We'll talk more on names over dinner, get the girls' opinion on what they'll call their brother, okay?"

She nodded and stroked her belly. "Yeah, sounds good." She smiled and sneezed. "Well, I have to use the bathroom now. If you'll excuse me."

They parted ways there, but it wasn't long before Daryl was running back to find her. He'd been thirty minutes into his tracking course when Mika came to find him, saying Mom had gone into labor. He instantly dropped what he was doing and told Glenn to take over, following Mika back into the gates and to the clinic.

Carol was being supported by Denise and Tara, who had been with her when her contractions started, and he took over for Tara, trying to get her on the bed, but she refused. She used it as a support so they would stop holding her, but that was all. Daryl didn't understand, and Denise told him how she managed to birth Charlotte standing up.

"That's safe?" Daryl looked Carol over, imagining the baby falling out and landing on its head.

"Charlotte's fine, isn't she?" Denise sent Tara to get towels. "Mika, honey, go wait in the other room."

She was about to protest when her mom's water broke, and she saw a gush of fluid and felt queasy. "All right."

Denise helped Carol out of her pants, having just gotten her boots off before Daryl came in, and she asked Daryl to get one of the gowns from the drawer. He nodded and fetched one, helping Carol out of her shirt and bra, pulling the gown down over her as she screamed through another contraction. He moved to the other side of the bed and set his hands down, telling her to squeeze his hand instead of the bed since Denise had the other areas in check.

"You might regret that." Denise accepted the towels from Tara and offered her a brief kiss. "Go wait with Mika."

"You don't have to tell me twice." She wished them luck and ducked out.

"All right. Let's birth a baby."

Denise was much cooler this time, helping Carol through her contractions, and there was a lot of screaming. Carol was physically stronger than Daryl had imagined, and he tried to be strong and not let the pain show, but damn, this kid must have been ripping her inside out for her to punish his hands as she was. The next time Carol screamed, Daryl softly called out, and she let go of his hands to grip the bed before she broke his fingers, and Denise counted it down for her.

Yet at the end of the day, after the screaming and the fluid and the near finger breaking, there was a little boy. Eight pound, seven ounces of pure precious new life. He was gorgeous, with blonde hairs and bright blue eyes, having the same Dixon trademark beauty mark above his lip, and the rest was Carol. His wavy blonde locks, his lips, his nose. He was so cute, and he was named the perfect name for his face.

"Owen Merle Dixon." Daryl rocked his son his arms as he cooed and yawned. "Welcome to the world."

"Owen?" Charlotte rose up from the bed where her mother lay and peeked at his pudgy red face. "He looks like a tomato."

"You were no great looker when I had you," Carol informed the young girl.

"I didn't look like this, though, right?" She pointed to her little brother.

"Mm-hmm." Carol nodded. "You did."

"Wow. How ugly."

Mika snorted a laugh and shook her head at her kid sister. "Wow, Charli, very harsh."

"It's the truth." She sat back on the bed. "And what kinda name is Owen?"

"It's his name." Carol patted the space beside her, and Charli crawled over to her, lying down beside her and snuggling close. "Don't be so mean."

"I liked being the little one," she pouted.

"Aren't you glad to have a little brother?" She nodded. 'But you're sad 'cause you're not the youngest anymore?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you'll always be my little one." She stroked her hair. "My baby girl."

Charlotte's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Really. Truly." She kissed her brow. "I love you girls and you boys so much."

"Finally got a break in my girl horde." Daryl smiled as he rocked his son back and forth in his arms. "Me and my little guy."

Mika couldn't help her heart at the sight of her dad and little brother. "Aww, Dad."

"I love babies," he confessed. "Judith, Hershel, Joss, Monroe…now Owen. God, I'd give anythin' to have had y'all girls as babies."

"You have their future," Carol promised him. "It's just as important as their start."

"Yeah, you're right." He gazed down lovingly at his son and kissed his brow. "Hey, little guy."

Mika reached out and set a hand on her little brother's head, stroking the baby fine hairs there. "Hey, baby boy." She stood up from the bed and held her arms out. "My turn."

"All right but careful. Watch his head."

Carol held her breath as he wanted over the newborn to, Charli snuggled closer to Mom, and Daryl moved behind Mika to adjust her arms then stepped back to sit beside Carol. Mika hushed the fussy baby in her arms, rocking like her father had rocked, and she soothed him. Carol smiled at the sight, and she rested her head on Daryl's shoulder. He kissed her brow and laced his fingers between hers.

"How's everybody doing?" Denise popped her head into the room and smiled at the sight of them.

"Get in here." Carol waved her in with her free hand. "C'mon."

She entered with alone, though Tara was on the other side of the door, listening in on the new member of her girlfriend's family, and Denise moved to stand in front of Mika. She peered down at the little boy, who looked so like his father with his mother's curls, only tinier, and she was in awe.

"He's gorgeous." She wrapped a hand around her mouth to keep the emotions back. "Wow."

"Isn't he, though?" Mika looked up at her mother and father. "He's perfect."

"And he doesn't match the profile," Denise whispered, taking in his blonde locks.

"I noticed that too," Carol commented, having picked up on the whisper. "They won't have any of my children—ever—but this only cements it."

"He's gonna look like Mika," Charli pouted. "I wanna look like Mika."

"Aww, thanks." Mika grinned. "But we're alike in other ways that are just as important."

"We are?" She tilted her head to the side, and Mika swore they were. "Very cool."

"Very, very cool." Mika handed Owen over to Denise and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Woof, that was a lot of pressure."

Daryl laughed. "You did good. Didn't drop him or nothin'."

"Go me." She plopped back onto the bed with them.

Denise hushed the babe in her arms and grinned down at him. "He is too precious. I can't wait to get to know you, little Owen."

Slowly—throughout the course of the day—family drifted in and out with gifts for the little one. He was carefully passed around the entire team and finally put down to rest late in the afternoon. Carol had fallen asleep long before him, and Daryl and Mika let her sleep while Charli braided her hair and hummed softly offkey to their wedding song. Mika would collect her in a moment, because Carol didn't seem to be bothered by the noise.

"We'll be leavin' for home in a couple hours." Daryl was going to come back after dinner to spend time with Carol, but the girls were going home for the night.

"There's no need." Denise pointed down the hall. "We cleaned up Mordin's old room, and the girls are more than welcome to stay in there tonight, so you can all be together. Tara and I don't mind."

"Yeah, I love a newborn in the house," Tara mused. "I'm great with aftercare."

"She really is."

"You sure you wouldn't mind?" Daryl didn't want to put them out. "I don't wanna put you in a compromisin' position."

"We really don't mind." Tara gripped the counter and jumped off it. "I love the girls, and I could use the company."

"It'll be great." Denise nodded. "Trust me."

"Okay." He laughed lightly in appreciation. "Thank you."

"It's what we're here for, you goob." Tara laced her fingers through Denise's. "We're family."

"And we love you very, very much." Mika jumped onto his shoulders and hugged him, kissing his cheek. "Dad."

"Hmm?" He looked over at her. "What?"

"Mom is kinda awake and wants to see you."

"Oh, all right." He patted her arm, she let him go, and he went to check on his wife. He peeked his head in the door and found her trying to hush Charli. "Hey, baby, no." He lifted her up and off the bed. "Go wait outside with Mika, all right?"

"But I wanna stay."

"Go. Now." He smacked her backside lightly, and she shuffled out of the room.

"Thank you." Carol carefully rolled over onto her back. "How are you holding up, Dad?"

"I should be askin' you that." He caught her hand and kissed it. "You're amazin', you know that, right?"

"I feel amazing, totally untouchable," she mused with a dry smirk, fatigue settling in once more, making it difficult to keep her eyes open. "How's our baby?"

"He's right over there." He pointed over to their baby with their conjoined hands. "He's doin' good. Heart rate is good. Blood pressure is good. All of it is good."

"That's good." She smiled faintly. "I am so tired."

"Then go to sleep. I'll take care of the girls, and all that good stuff."

"You will?" Her eyes drooped.

"'Course, now you just rest." He kissed her brow. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She moaned sleepily. "Good night."

"Good night."

"Good night, Mommy." Charli whispered this to herself, standing on the other side of the door and ran off before Daddy left the room to come talk to them.

* * *

Carol was currently soaking in some herbal bath thing Daryl didn't know entirely about that Denise had cooked up to help her body with its aftercare. Mika and Charli were in Beth's class, learning about toxic berries and whatnot. And as for Daryl? Well, he was elbow-deep in some stinky, black shit that his son kept pooping out, and he had no idea what was wrong or if this was natural, but he couldn't disturb Carol to ask. All the boy had had was breast milk, so it had to be okay.

He held his son up in the air, arms bent at his elbow, and he announced, "You are a wrinkled little shit gremlin."

Owen simply looked down at him, unimpressed.

He lowered him back down to his chest and carried him over to his bassinet. "All right, let's try a nap, all right?" He lied him down and bent down in front of the bassinet. "Do you want me to read do you, or do you want a thimble of whiskey?"

"Are you trying to booze up our baby?" Carol mused, coming down the stairs, tying her robe.

He looked over at her sheepishly. "Maybe." He straightened up. "He just wouldn't go to sleep."

"He's a baby. He doesn't know any better." She closed the space between them and grasped his arm. "Did you think this would be easy?"

"Didn't think it'd be this hard."

"Welcome to parenthood." She kissed his cheek. "I need a nap before I have to pump again, so why don't you two read a book? Charli loved when I read to her."

He nodded. "Go rest. I got this."

"You're sure?"

"You just pushed an entire life out of your body, I think I can handle a grouchy newborn."

She smiled at him. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He kissed her forehead. "Get some rest for me, too."

"No problem." She squeezed his hand tightly and shuffled towards the couch since she couldn't make it back upstairs right now.

Daryl rubbed his hands together and went to the bookshelf to see that there was to read his little guy to sleep, and he settled on the favorite of Charli and Mika. He sat down beside the bassinet and looked in on Owen, who provided a big fake yawn, and Daryl smirked, flipping the book open to read to him. He loved being a father, taking care of Carol and their girls, and he was glad for this chance. Even with the shadows lurking outside, he was grateful to have them in his life again. And when the time was right, Carol and he would come together to crush the shadows. As a team, as always.

* * *

Beth gave birth to two beautiful boys, Ashton and Oakley, who had the same look as their father with her beautiful eyes. She was beyond blessed and grateful for a healthy delivery. Maggie had been there to help her through it, so had Noah and Glenn. She had done well, and Noah had never loved her more.

Outside the kids were playing, and Beth listened to their game while breast feeding her older newborn son.

"Patty cake, patty cake—Carl!" Judith stopped playing with Charlotte and ran towards the gate. "Carl!"

Charlotte narrowed her eyes at the blonde woman in the car with Carl and she moved out of the way, grasping onto RJ's hand and moving him back out of the way. She watched Carl get out of the car and grab Judith up in his arms, grinning at her proudly and proclaiming she was growing up well. It was sweet, and it made Charli want to approach him and ask for a hug as she had done without permission years ago. But she didn't feel comfortable.

"C'mon." RJ ran towards Carol, holding onto Charli's hand. "C'mon!"

They bolted over the way to Carl and the blonde woman, Charli dropped RJ's hand when they were close enough, and she watched Carl give RJ the same treatment as his sister. She smiled at the sight of them, pleased they were so happy, and she felt a hand slip into hers. She looked over to find Hershel standing beside her with a smile on his lips.

"C'mon." He urged her back towards his house. "We can go paint."

"Sunflowers?"

He nodded. "Bunches of 'em."

"Race ya!" She released his hand and took off towards the Rhee's house.

Carl laced his fingers through Astrid's and brought her inside the house to meet his parents. He was followed by his little siblings, and the first one he countered was Michonne. She was drying off the lunch plates and grinned widely to finally meet the young lady who had claimed her son's heart. And she was beautiful with long blond hair and bright hazel eyes, and she was mostly legs with sun-kissed skin. She was adorable next to Carl, and Michonne was excited to meet her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Astrid spoke first, shaking Michonne's hand once Carl had released her from a hug. "I'm Astrid Banks. I'm sort of the weapons crafter at the Hilltop."

"Oh?"

"Not sort of," Carl corrected. "She's the person who comes up with new weapons and defenses. She's the reason our walker problem is at an all-time low."

"That's incredible. We could use someone like that here." Michonne said this quite pointedly.

She laughed lightly, rubbing Carl's arm gently. "I'm sure I could whip up a few things and have them sent over."

"I'd like to see whatever you come up with." Michonne shifted her weight. "Rick's currently not in the house, but why don't you stay for dinner?"

"We're actually going to stay the week, if that's okay," Carl remarked. "I spoke to Dad about it on the radio, but that was a while ago. I'm not sure if he remembered."

"'Course I remembered," this came from behind them.

"Dad." Carl smiled and released Astrid's hand to embrace him. "How are you doing?"

He showed off the metal hand Aaron had crafted for him. "I'm doin'." He looked by him at Astrid, who was shyly smiling at him. "Is this her?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'd like you to meet Astrid Banks. Astrid, this is my dad, Rick Grimes."

"It's so great to meet you." She walked over and hugged him since she wasn't sure which hand to shake or if that was okay, and he patted her back with his hand. "Carl's told me so much about both of you, and I am so excited to be here."

"We're excited to have you here." Rick smiled at her and released her from the hug. "You two look like you had no troubles on the road."

"We had an encounter with a few walkers, but other than that, it was a smooth trip," Carl confirmed. "We're a little hungry, if there's any leftover lunch."

"Of course. I cook for a small army these days." Michonne waved them over to the counter. "How does ham casserole sound?"

"Yummy." Astrid joined Michonne at the counter. "Let me help you."

"So," Rick whispered to his son, "what really bring y'all to town?"

"We heard about the child taken from Seaside and wanted to check on how things were here." He looked at his mom and Astrid preparing food and making small talk. "And I thought it'd be a perfect chance for you two to meet my girlfriend."

"Oh, girlfriend, is it?" He grinned at his boy. "She seems lovely."

"She's a total badass. You should see her on the battlefield. She's wields a half staff, half blade, and she's really…talented." He didn't want to say the word he wanted to, but Rick got a sense of what wasn't said. "When she's not coming up with new defense mechanisms, she's training the people. She's amazing."

"Sounds like you're half in love with her," Rick jested.

"Not half," Carl corrected. "Fully. Badly."

Rick smiled and gripped his shoulder. "Well, I should get to know this woman then."

"Yeah, she's going to be around for a long time if I have any say in it."

Judith and RJ ran into the room to meet the new woman in town, Rick joined them, and Carl admired the sight of his family in one room. He smiled and was waved over by Michonne and Astrid both. He happily joined them.

* * *

"All around the kitchen, cocka-doddle-doddle-doo," Denise sang to the little ones in the classroom, trying to distract them from the storm outside, "Well, you stop right there, cocka-doddle-doddle-doo, put your hands your hair, cocka-doddle-doddle-doo. Put your arms in the air, cocka-doddle-doddle-doo. Spin around in a circle, cocka-doddle-doddle-doo."

Outside in the middle of a wind storm one of the walls had fallen down, Michonne and Judith were alone fighting back the walkers from inside the wall, moving in sync, Carol, Beth and Mika were outside the wall with Rick, Noah and Daryl, fighting off the walkers from that angle. Abraham and Eugene were passing out spears and commanding people who volunteered to help. There would be no guns or arrows, not with winds this strong.

There had to be at least thirty-five walkers still standing against them. The rest of the people were bringing over the replacement wall. It was a temporary fix, and they could only hope it survived the night as the wind shouted at them, knocking loosely gripped weapons out of hands and deeply decayed walkers at unsuspecting people.

Mika ducked as a walker flew her way, timing it so she thrust the blade of her spear through the skull of the walker. She had practice in the last hour doing this, and she was getting good at it. It was almost like a game, but she wouldn't admit that to anybody. Games were fun, and second chances were easily obtained. Not in the real world. In the real world, if she messed up, she might die or lose a limb, so no. It wasn't a game. It wasn't even close.

"Mika, down!" Carol commanded, and Mika dropped to the ground entirely, the wind knocking walkers over her, and she felt one catching on her ankle. Before she could react, Carol thrust the butt of her staff into its soft temple and helped her daughter to her feet. "Go back inside the wall! We'll take care of this!"

"No way!" She shouted over the winds. "Shoulder to shoulder, remember?"

Carol smiled at her. "Shoulder to shoulder then!"

It took about an hour to clear out the walkers with the wind bellowing as it was, the wall was damn near impossible to set up, but they managed; and the wind was dying down some by the time they started screwing and hammering, and everyone went back inside the walls to help. This time Mika went back to join the kids as Denise and Tara entertained them, and Carol pulled Judith back from the sparks of them welding the wall, and Michonne thanked Carol and asked her to escort her back to the other kids. Daryl said they needed to make sure none of the Shah had come through when the wall was down and unmanned, and Judith offered to help Carol search the town.

"I'll go too." Abraham tossed them a flashlight. "I'm in the mood to kick some ass if the occasion calls for it."

"And if it doesn't?" Judith challenged.

"Then I'll have gotten in my steps for today," he jested. "Now, c'mon."

They searched the town from top to bottom, looking in on the kids and searching homes, but there was no hint of the Shah within the walls. Abraham seemed disappointed to not be able to kick some ass, and Carol assured him there would be plenty of time. Charlotte was nearly eight years old after all.

Once the storm had finished its wrath upon their town, Maggie and Hershel went to check the fields to see what the damage was, and Glenn and Aaron tended to the solar panels, and Eugene and Michonne kept the group at the wall supervised. Carol and Denise helped the kids get comfortable for a night in the clinic, and Charlotte wanted to help with something outside. She was a big girl now, and she wanted to help.

Carol explained all of the work now was heavy lifting and maintenance. Charli didn't know anything about that and instead offered to help the other kids get comfortable for the night. Carol agreed with that plan and checked in on Owen. The one-year-old was sleeping soundly in Mordin's old bedroom with the Greene twins and two other infants. She decided to spend the night in that room.

Mika and Daryl checked on the animals in the barn and found them distraught by the storm. They worked for an hour to calm them down and get them stable. Mika fed horses left and right to keep them focused on what was happening right in front of them, and Daryl was stuck petting babies bows and trying to figure out how ducks got inside the barn.

When nature, every animal and every child were at ease, parents checked in on their little ones and headed for home. Michonne and Francine were on first watch to ensure the wall kept in place, and Abraham and Sasha decided to lend them a hand should another tree decide to knock another wall down. Maggie tried the radio to contact Seaside, Hilltop and Kingdom to ensure they had survived the storm all right, and Glenn put their little ones to bed before joining her to see if there was any communication among the towns working.

They were able to get a hold of each community and confirm the number of injured was low, walls were in place and stable, and the Shah were not seen. It was a victory only a few could claim. The missing boy who had been taken in place of Judith was not one of them.

* * *

Theo grinned at the sight of Carol and Owen in the meeting room, Daryl and Maggie were discussing the newest group she had found, and Theo was trying to resist the urge to comment how lucky Carol was the boy was light-haired and honey skinned. He didn't match the profile they'd given out. He was safe. That alone deserved a celebration.

"What's the name of this community?" Maggie asked Theo. "How do we reach them?"

"By boat." Theo turned to them, all business and approached the map they had smoothed out against the desk. "It's Fire Found. A sister community to ours. They didn't want us to speak to you on their behalf until they were certain you were on our side. They're certain now and want to strike a deal."

"What kind of deal?" Carol asked.

"What kind of name is Fire Found?" Daryl asked.

"They were chased by a terrible forest fire and found the park they now live in, Daryl. And for Carol, they want us to seek out and kill the Shah. They have a lead, and they'll give it to us in exchange for food and weapons. They're willing to accept anything you offer for later, but for right now they want the Shah eliminated." She could hardly contain her excitement in that proposal. Going against the Shah with all their numbers combined? It'd a slaughter, but it'd be worth it to stop those bastards once and for all.

Maggie nodded. "That sound doable, but what's the catch?"

"They want to meet with the leaders of each community before any deals are made. Well, a representative of each community. I agreed to those terms. I already have Kingy Z and Enid on my side. I just need a rep from your end."

"I can't go. I have to renew the contracts with Hilltop, the Kingdom and Seaside," Maggie reminded Theo. "And Glenn has a training seminar in a couple days. How long will this trip take?"

"Roughly?" Theo tipped her head side to side to think and answered, "Two to three to...erm, four weeks."

"Four weeks?" Her brows shot up. "That's…a lot to ask of someone."

"It's needed for the information on the Shah, however," Theo reminded her. "I can't tell them no after saying yes. I'm sorry."

"I'll go." Carol stood up. "I've been itching to do more around here, and I think this would be a great way for me to do that."

Daryl opened his mouth to protest instantly. "No. You can't."

"Daryl, it'll be fine. Theo will be there. Ezekiel will be there. Enid, too. We'll take care of each other." She carried Owen over to him. "And Owen's fine without me now. He adores you more than me anyway, and you have work here to finish. I don't."

"It's four weeks, Carol."

"Possibly four weeks," she corrected. "I'll be fine. I've always wanted to go boating anyway, let me live a little."

"I promise she'll be in a good hands." Theo stepped forward. "I'm not going, but our town doctor is. My sister is. Trust me. I wouldn't send my sister on a death mission. Our boats are good, strong and capable. She'll return to you with a goddess like tan and information on the Shah. It'll be worth it."

Daryl hated this idea. He knew Carol was a woman gone mad when it came to the Shah. She saw nothing but them, and he'd worked for years to try and get her to see that vision would only get her killed, but she didn't listen to him. Or if she did, she didn't let it show. He knew this was necessary to catching the Shah, to stop them once and for all, but he couldn't agree with it. He just couldn't.

Though Carol didn't need his permission, so Maggie and she agreed on those terms and would send Carol back with her. Daryl hung his head and tried to see the bright side of this, but he couldn't. All he saw was his wife leaving for four weeks and continuing a blind hunt for the Shah. He knew it was inevitable, but he had hoped it wasn't. He'd hoped to any power out there it wasn't yet there they were. And as they say: fuck.

"I'll be back before you know it," Carol spoke her family. "And then this will be over."

"Do you promise?" Charli asked, stepping forward to embrace her mom. "You have to promise, or I won't let you go."

"I promise." Carol rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. "Daddy will be here for you all until I get back."

"Yeah." Mika lightly punched Charlotte's shoulder. "She'll be back before you know it, and then you'll have to brush your teeth again."

"Mika!" Charli hissed then paled and looked at her mom with round eyes. "I always brush my teeth."

Carol chuckled. "I know that's a lie, so Dad will be sitting in while you brush."

She groaned and released her mom, moving over to stand by her dad. "Thanks a lot, Mika."

"I try." Mika grinned and embraced her mom. "Have a safe trip. I love you."

"I love you too. Take care of the family for me." She rubbed her back.

"I will." She squeezed her once and let go.

"I know you're not happy with my decision, but it's for our children's sake, and the sake of every unborn child in our communities." She searched his eyes and hugged him. "I love you more than you can know, and I will come back and stop this one-sided war. I swear."

"Bye, Mama," Owen patted her back. "I love you."

She smiled at her precious big boy and kissed his cheek, setting a hand on her husband's chest. "Do I at least get a goodbye?"

"I love you," he leaned over and kissed her. "Be careful."

"Don't worry," she murmured against his lips, "I've got luck on my side."

He hoped that was enough and kissed her once more, deeper, longer, memorizing the feel of her lips on his, and he stepped back to look in her eyes. "I support you, no matter what you do or where you go. I love you very much, so please, be safe."

"Don't worry, handsome," Theo called out from the car. "We'll take good care of her. We always have."

"Goodbye." Carol shouldered her bag and joined Theo in the car.

"Goodbye, Mommy! Be careful! Catch fishies!" Charli shouted through her hands that were cupped to her mouth. "I love you!"

"Bye!" Mika waved.

"Bye-bye!" Owen waved.

Daryl exhaled and watched the car disappear down the road. "Goodbye."


	39. Bound To The Arrow

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

Theodora leveled a staff, Charlotte, Hershel, RJ, Joss and Judith mirrored the action, and she continued with the lesson under the fall sun with the small group of Alexandria's children at Seaside for a field trip. They were staying for two weeks under the care of Daryl and Michonne. They were currently walking the property, enjoying the warm breeze and taking up a patrol shift for Jack while he did a favor for Robin.

Daryl wasn't in the best mood he could be in given all that was good and happy around him. He was proud of his little girl, standing tall beside Theo, chestnut hair braided back by her own talent, holding the staff like he'd taught her to and aping the moves they had worked on just last week. He was thrilled that Mika had picked up the way of the staff and even received a custom-made staff by Henry, using her natural talent to wound and injure over kill—for people anyway. He was glad his girls weren't natural-born killers. They moved for the beat down method, reached for a chance instead of a kill. He was beyond proud.

But he missed his wife. It'd been four long weeks since Carol set sail on the open sea with a handful of Seaside's people to fish and locate that new settlement and try to open trade routes, along with getting that new information on the Shah. They had no way to truly communicate just the two of them since Nellie had control of the solar-powered walkie and kept it close for important updates. He and Alaric both were in the dark on their wives save for the updates given with the new settlement Carol had found: Tree Haven. Their leader, Malcolm, was a good man who was doing the best he could in an old RV camp—Tree Haven RV park and Resort—surrounded by trees. They had helped down the trees and install a watchtower to keep an eye on the tree line. Dug trenches all around the area to keep the walkers at a safe distance. Had training courses and runner courses and helped them be safer. They signed the treaties two weeks into the aiding, and Maggie ordered a shipment of food and wood be delivered to Seaside to be taken to Tree Haven since the water was the only way they knew just yet. Malcolm was to send a small party to Alexandria to mark a path, and Eugene was to lead that party. Daryl hoped they made it back safely.

As for Fire Found, they were in the dark completely about how the transaction went down. Carol had mentioned it to him one night before Nellie came in and asked for the walkie back to contact Robin. That was the last time they had spoken, and that was the first week of their trip. Fire Found wasn't too far away via boat, and they'd been busy with Tree Haven. Apparently, it'd been the first week of the trip dealing with Fire Found, and the rest would be sealing the alliance with Tree Haven. Daryl didn't even know when they would be back, and he was starting to get annoyed at the world.

"All right." Michonne stopped walking at the start point of their patrol. "I'd say good patrol, but I was walking with a ghost."

He chuckled softly. "Sorry. I'm distracted."

"Yeah, I noticed after my thirty-minute conversation I had with myself." She smiled at him. "It's all good. I know Carol is meant to return today, and I'm pretty excited about it myself."

He looked over at the dock through the trees and noticed something in the distance. "You see that?"

"I do." Michonne nodded and watched his reaction with a grin dancing across her lips. "Looks like a boat."

"'Cause it  _is_  a boat." He stepped forward before running towards the dock, Michonne went after him, and they caught the attention of the training group. He saw Charlotte drop her staff and come after them—so naturally Mika did the same—and they all made it to the dock at the same time to see Carol waving them down, and his heart swelled at the sight of her. "That's her."

"Mommy!" Charlotte jumped up and down, waving her arms in the air and grinning. "Mommy!"

"Mom!" Mika waved back and grinned at the sight of her.

Carol looked to the left as Ezekiel came out and joined them, Dominic pulled the boat right up to the dock, and Carol collected her bags and handed them over to Michonne, grasping her hand and jumping off the boat. Her boots hit hard, she straightened up, and she was immediately tackled by her seven-year-old and seventeen-year-old. She threw her head back and laughed, wrapping her arms around them and kissing their chilly faces all over. She missed them so much, and they were so warm and perfect in her arms. She couldn't believe she was holding them, and she relished it for as long as she could stand before the desire to see her husband overwhelmed her to the point of aching for him.

"Oh, I missed you girls so much." She cupped their cheeks from tallest to shortest. "My babies. You look so much taller to me."

"I grew!" Charlotte beamed up at her mommy. "A whole six inches!"

"Oh, my God, and I missed it?" She knelt down and set a hand on her head. "Stop growing up on me, you little stinker." She tickled her sides, and Charlotte giggled. "Oof, big girl."

Mika grasped Charlotte by the shoulders at the sound of her dad's boots on the dock and held Charlotte back while Carol rose and turned to greet her husband. She watched Mom move in for a hug, asking if he'd missed her, and he lifted her up off the ground, making her laugh out her question; and he buried his face in his shoulder, casually saying "Not really".

"I'll take that." She cupped his cheeks and kissed him lightly, but he went in for the kill. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her right up against him, tilting his head to left to kiss her harder. He brought his hand up to her neck and parted her lips with his tongue, causing a soft moan to escape as his tongue entered her mouth, and she forgot where she was for a moment. That was until their seven-year-old and seventeen-year-old started to giggle like a bunch of hyenas, and Carol had to chill this kiss out before she took Daryl right here and scarred everyone for life. She pulled back and smiled at him, his forehead bumped against hers as he nuzzled, and she closed her eyes to enjoy for just a moment.

"I've missed you so much." She kissed him lightly and opened her eyes to look at his face. "How's our son doing?"

"He sleeps like his mother and is up all night at any little sound." Michonne answered this and slipped in between the two for a hug of her own. "Hey, girl. Look at that tan. The sea's been good to you."

"It has." She embraced her tightly. "I've missed you all so much."

"And we've missed you." Michonne moved aside and let Daryl take a hold of his wife's hand. "Come. We have a lot to show you."

The girls ran off to find Theodora to show them the training they had done, Michonne joined them with Judith by her side, and they went over their training lesson. Judith and Michonne took the lead, and everyone moved as one, forming a shield wall with the first layer. The second layer armed themselves with their arrows, and the third layer watched the rear with spears and sledgehammer. It was impressive, especially when they fired on practice walkers. Their accuracy was almost flawless. They had spent those four weeks practicing, and everyone was dedicated to their part. It was beautiful.

Theo came around from her position, telling them to take twenty and showed off the new weapon Astrid had cooked up last week just for her. It was half sledgehammer, half slingshot, though Astrid had made arrows for her to use instead of rocks, and it was like a sniper rifle with Theo's aim. It was very cool, and Carol wanted one to be honest.

"We got more to show you," Daryl informed her, arm around her waist, pulling her forward to where Charli and Judith were. "Girls."

"Okay." Charli lifted her arm to reveal a sling-shot style crossbow. It was made by Astrid to help Charli with her focus and aim. She'd gotten just as good as Daddy with it, and she showed her mother by hitting the target walker smack in the forehead on the second go. The first go she was too nervous with her mom being there, and she had to shake the jitters off first. "Okay!"

"Okay?" Carol looked at Daryl, who patted her side to get her attention back on the girls, and apparently okay meant release a live walker for moving target practice. Carol tensed up instantly at her seven-year-old taking aim on a walker getting ever closer. "Charli…"

"Wait for it," Judith instructed as the walker got closer. "Wait for it... You got this."

The walker was less than five feet away, Carol was about to pull her knife from her holster when Charli let the bolt loose and caught it right in the eye, and Carol exhaled with relief, grinning down at her talented and brave little scraper. She high-fived her and mussed her hair, kissing the top of her head to show her what a good job she'd done. Charli giggled and accepted the laud, thanking her mom and hugging her tightly, glad to have her back.

"I'll show you to our cabin." Daryl escorted Carol alone to the cabin where Owen was currently taking a nap with his babysitter, Herman. They entered the cabin, Herman gave a silent nod and left them, and Daryl showed her over to their little boy. "He's been asleep for a couple hours now, so it's okay if you wanna wake him up."

"Hey, baby boy." Carol picked him up off the bed. "How are you, my little boy?"

He fussed at being woken up, but at the sight of his mom, he gasped and hugged her tightly. "Mommy!" He gripped the collar of her shirt and grinned at her. "Welcome home."

"Not quite there but I'm close." She kissed his forehead and rocked him back and forth on her hip. "How have you been?"

That began a long story about how he'd been doing lately, and it was perfectly repetitive and prolonged, and Carol giggled at the appropriate times and tugged his shirt down when he kept waving his arms about while gesturing and causing it to rise up. It was the best story time, and when it was over, it was time for lunch. Carol was praying to the gods it anything but fish. She couldn't stomach anymore fish. She might have to eat one of the children if they said fish.

She munched on Owen's little baby flab on his arm when she told him that, and he cried for her to not eat him. Daryl laughed and rubbed his back and said she wouldn't eat him, that it was a joke. He giggled then and said he knew and wanted to be put down. Carol set him on the floor, and they went to the pavilion they had built over the years, and Daryl told her to sit, and he'd get them plates. She found a place to sit with Owen, and Theo brought over a highchair for the boy. Carol thanked her, and Theo said it was no problem.

"Mommy!" Charli dropped down to the left of her with a bowl of stew. "How are you?"

"I'm a little tired, but I'm okay." She smiled faintly at her daughter. "How about you?"

"I'm great." She grinned at her blissfully. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Yeah, me too." She tucked hair behind her ear and kissed the top of her head.

Daryl and Mika returned with food for Owen and Carol, they ate together for the first time as a family in a month, and Carol nearly fell asleep listening to the conversation. She was thrilled to be home but thoroughly exhausted after a day at sea. Daryl rubbed her inner thigh and suggested they go on a walk to hunt down some dinner. She wasn't entirely up for it, but she decided to go for it.

Charli wanted to tag along, but it was an adult trip. She pouted, but Mika took care of it, and they headed out. The fresh air felt amazing on her face, and she was so grateful to not be at sea, though she would have to go back one day with her family so they could enjoy the fresh ocean air and see Tree Haven and Fire Found. It would be amazing. One day, not any day soon.

"Made you somethin'," Daryl caught her attention and handed over a bracelet made of fishermen's twine. "Just…had some time on my hand, and Mika showed me how she made our previous bracelets."

"Aww, Daryl." She rolled up her sleeve to reveal the worn bracelet she still wore, and he tied the new one beside it. "Thank you." She leaned up and kissed him.

It suddenly dawned on them that they were completely alone in the woods, miles away from camp, and they knew it would be a while before they were back home, so they made the most of nature. They didn't get fully undressed in case someone came after them with news or something, but they worked out some aches and desires all the same. Carol held onto him tighter than she ever had before, and he kissed her hard enough to bruise her lips, his teeth dragging across her lip and tugging gently.

She smiled at him and touched his face carefully, pushing his bangs back and kissing him deeply as he moved in and out of her quickly but with purpose. She moved her hips in time with his, and soon the only sounds in the entire woods was of rapid breathing and moaning. It filled the space between them, crushing out all air, and they both came together, calling for the other loudly and attracting a walker.

Carol reached down into her quiver and pulled out an arrow, readying her bow and loosing it, causing it to lodge into the shoulder of the walker, pinning it against a tree. She giggled and blamed him for making her head light. She kissed him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you." He grinned at her. "Got my ass in the wind to prove it."

She giggled again and kissed his lips. "Let's get dressed before that walker gets loose."

They found their pants and underwear, slipping into them and taking care of the walker, and they continued on their hunting trip, holding hands and following tracks. They spent a good five hours hunting down a sizeable deer for Seaside, helping themselves to some of Daryl's rabbit jerky when they sat down for a break, laughing and talking about how her trip had been. She didn't mention much on Fire Found or what their tip was, and he was worried it'd been a bust, but she said she didn't want to talk about it just yet. There was so much more she wanted to know about—how Owen was doing, how the girls were adjusting to Seaside and how long were they going to be there—and he answered every question.

"We'll probably be here another day. Michonne and Judy are headin' back tonight, but Theo has one more lesson for Charli and Mika. Then we'll use the lead accordingly."

She nodded. "We should get back. This deer won't cook itself for dinner."

"That's true." He smiled at her. "Glad to have you back home."

"Glad to be back home." She kissed his forehead and stood up. "C'mon."

* * *

Carol was pulled into a meeting with Nellie and the other leaders to discuss the tip they'd gotten on the Shah the moment they were back in town, having contacted Maggie with the ham radio. They discussed what the plan would be—waiting for troops from Kingdom and Alexandria and heading to the location immediately. Maggie didn't want Carol involved and demanded she and her family come home tonight with Judith and Michonne and the kids, and Carol refused. Ezekiel agreed with Maggie, and Carol couldn't believe it.

"This is my daughter they're after. I have every right to be there," Carol fumed. "You have no reason to keep me out."

"You're too involved," Maggie stated. "I love you and know exactly where you're coming from, but you can't be there. Stay home with Charlotte. Keep her safe. We'll move out as soon as we get word on the troops."

They ended the meeting there, Ezekiel tried to explain his reasoning in having Carol not be involved, but she walked out of the building. She headed over to their guest cabin and packed up their items, needing to have a face to face chat with Maggie as soon as possible, and she caught Owen and Charli playing peek-a-boo behind the bed. She stopped for a moment and admired the two of them, remembering who this was really about, and she sighed, sitting down on the bed and running a hand through her hair.

"Everything all right?" Mika entered the cabin, having seen her mom taking off for the house like a storm.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. We just have to leave tonight, too. Maggie's orders."

"Oh, bummer." She looked over at her siblings, who were now focused on them. "Go pack, guys."

Charli took a hold of Owen's hand and guided him into the next room to pack up their items, Mika lent Carol a hand, and they made easy work of packing up. Daryl came in to tell them dinner was ready and found them moving the bags to the main room. He asked what was going on, and Carol told him Maggie wanted them home tonight, just like Judith and Michonne and the other kids. There was no arguing. Her word was law apparently.

They said their goodbyes to the community of Seaside after dinner, they loaded up the car and headed back towards home. Theo said she'd radio in their lesson, which would be difficult, but they'd make it work. They didn't speak much on the way home, though the kids sang a few songs loudly and annoyingly, but Carol was content to be with her family, even if she was thinking over how to verbally destroy Maggie.

And that was exactly where she headed when she got the kids settled down for the night. Daryl asked her where she was headed, and she told him exactly where she was going. He said to let it pass, to give it a night and see how she felt about this in the morning, but Carol wasn't going to take this lying down. She was going to hunt down the Shah with the rest of the men and women who amassed to become the troops. Maggie would just have to face facts.

However, Maggie wasn't in the mood to talk when Carol arrived. She had been dealing with Enid, who believed Carol had every right and reason to be there when they brought down the Shah, and Carol made mental note to thank Enid for that. She had no idea Enid had thought so passionately about her, but she was grateful to have someone else on her side.

"Maggie, this is my daughter we're talking about. I have every right and reason to be there. Don't you understand that?"

"What I understand is you're gonna get yourself killed tryin' to take out the Shah," Maggie retorted lowly. "You can't see straight when it comes to them, and I won't be the one to tell Owen and Charli and Mika their mother died chasing assholes."

"I won't die by their hands. Have a little more faith in my ability."

"I have upmost faith in your abilities, Carol, but you're a woman scorned. You have the fury, that untamed wrath, but you're a hammer. We need finesse. We need…a scalpel."

"Excuse me?"

"You're a hammer to which every Shah member is a nail, and we don't need that kind of thinking. We need to be deft with this, and yes, you're very skilled and very…determined, but we need more than that to get rid of them once and for all."

"It sounds like you don't intend to kill them." Carol narrowed her eyes. "Are you… Are you going to try and strike a deal with them?"

"What? No, of course not. We will kill each member to ensure the safety of our future, but some members may be swayed. Like the younger members, and we can't just bum rush our way through 'em all. Okay? We can try and save the young ones."

Carol clenched her jaw. "You think I'd kill a child? To ensure the safety of my own? Really, Maggie?"

"I don't know how far you'll go to extinguish this enemy," she honestly replied, meeting Carol's eyes. "I'll save those I can, rehabilitate them and see if they can handle or want to handle being a part of our communities."

Carol shook her head. "Wow, now I see how you are, Maggie Rhee. Thanks for the enlightenment."

"Carol," Maggie called after her. "I'm sorry, but we both know what you did at the prison, trying to save the lives of the people you love. And if you love your babies even an fourth as much as I love mine, I know you'd kill every single member to snuff out that darkness, but I can't let you do that. I am sorry."

Carol just kept walking. When she returned home, she broke a lamp in frustration and Daryl came downstairs to see what was wrong. She told him not to worry and headed upstairs to take a bath. He tried to stop her, to get an answer out of her, but she was too exhausted. She kissed him goodnight and vanished behind the bathroom door. He frowned and hoped to get answers in the morning.

* * *

In the morning, Carol went to work with training and took out her frustrations on the walkers they had brought in. Charlotte's classmates were deeply impressed, Charli was pouting because she wasn't able to show off her own skills with the wrist slingshot crossbow, and Mika could tell something was wrong with her mother. They both approached her after class, but she assured them she was fine. She faked a smile and sent them on their way, heading over to the clinic to have her knuckles wrapped. She'd knocked it too hard against the brass knuckle hilt of her knife, and she'd opened a few bruises there.

"Well, that looks painful." Denise lightly dabbed peroxide-soaked cotton swabs onto the wounds. "What happened?"

"Walker training. My knuckles caught on my knife. No walker blood was near it, though, so don't worry."

"Oh, good." She pulled her hand closer on the table, and Carol spread her fingers apart. "How are you handling being back?"

"Good. I'm glad to be home." She smiled. "I've missed my kids like crazy, and Daryl, too, obviously."

"Obviously," she concurred. "How are you and Owen bonding? I know it was a rough couple of months."

"Oh, we're good, I think. He still is a Daddy's boy, but he cuddles up with me now and then. Or he did. We haven't done any cuddling since I've come back."

"That's good. How about you and Charlotte? She's still trying to impress you with every breath?"

Carol smiled deeply. "Yes, and I adore her for it. She doesn't have to try so hard. I'm impressed with everything she does. I hope she knows that."

"Tell her."

"I should." Carol inhaled. "But enough about me. How are you and Tara doing?"

"We're great." Denise smiled naturally, beautifully, and Carol could tell she was very much in love with her girlfriend. "I love her so much. We actually had a little anniversary ceremony thing last week."

"What?" Carol gaped. "You guys got married?"

"Not in those words but sorta." She laughed. "It just happened."

"That's incredible. I'm so happy for you." She wished she could have been there. "I would have given you away had I been here."

"It's fine. It was just the two of us, speaking from the heart and it was really romantic. I saw a new side of Tara, and I feel…giddy as shit." She laughed, and Carol smiled at her. "I'm in love, okay? Don't judge me."

"I would never. I'm happy for you." She gripped her hand and squeezed. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." She lifted her eyes to her face. "I wish you could have been there. It would have been perfect then."

"Aww." She grinned. "I love you, and I'm happy for you. No matter what."

Denise finished cleaning up her knuckles, wiping herbal ointment across her knuckles and sent her on her way. She decided to go home and lie down to calm the headache Maggie had given her, and she instead found Daryl in the kitchen. She approached him with a smile, and he looked upset.

"What's going on?"

"You mind tellin' me why you went off on Mags when she was just lookin' out for you?"

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me. You're taking her side?"

"Because I sat around long enough to hear her side," he answered. "You can't just…yell at people to get your way, Carol."

"I wasn't yelling at her. I was demanding my right to be there when the Shah are dealt with. I've earned it after nearly four years of having them lord over me." She gestured to her hip. "They carved into my side, scarring my body, if you recall!"

"I do recall. I also know you are obsessed with them. You haven't gone a day without mentioning them in weeks." He searched her eyes. "Yeah, I spoke to Zeke before we left. Nellie, too."

"The whole point of that mission was to get information on the Shah, so of course I spoke of them!" She gestured behind her. "I did what I had to do for Charlotte. At the end of the day, that's all I want—what is best for her. She's nearly eight years old, and they will be coming after her."

"I'm aware of how old our daughter is, and I just happen to agree with Maggie here. You're so driven, I worry you'll run with this tip and Charlotte won't have you by her side for her eighth birthday."

"Why does everyone seem to think I'd get killed? I happen to be one of the stealthiest people here. I've gotten the best of even you, Mr. Crossbow."

"Yes, you are very talented and very agile, but that doesn't mean you can take on an entire group of wackos by yourself."  _I mean, probably,_ he thought to himself then he flattened his hands down on the counter. "And anyway, we need people here to protect the walls in case the Shah come for us before the troops are ready. Now that Charlotte is nearing her eighth birthday, our protection is gone."

"Excuse me, what did you just say?"

"With Charli of age, there's no reason to keep us around. We could supply them with more children, but we're mostly a threat to them. So, they'll like wipe us out as soon as they get their hands on Charli, take over our community and do fuck knows what to it.

"So, it's totally okay for our daughter to be made a shield for us, but not for me to fight alongside others to protect  _her_?" Carol spat. "Is that what I'm hearing right now?"

"You know I didn't mean it that way."

"Look, we can either go out there together, or we can end it right now," Carol threatened. "I don't want… I don't want that, but if you keep siding with them, keep disbelieving in me, then you'll leave me no choice. I have to stop them, no matter what."

"Carol, it ain't us or them! We're all on the same goddamn side! You just don't realize it." He growled. "And I can't lose you again!"

She paused for a moment, trying to not that soft and beautiful statement weaken her resolve, and she stammered out, "I realize you aren't as invested in finding and taking out the assholes who are hounding our daughter as I am!"

"You know this means as much to you as it does to me," he seethed in a lethally low tone. "She's my daughter just as much as she is yours, and I would take a wall of bullets for her, you know that."

"Of course I know that, Daryl, but this isn't about taking a bullet for her; it's about me eliminating a threat for her."

"Why do you have to be there?"

"Don't you understand why?" He shook his head at her. "I have to be there so I can look Charli dead in the eye and tell her with pure confidence the Shah are out of our lives completely. Now I am done having this conversation—I am going, and that's final."

"Are you done with just this conversation, or are you just done with me?" he demanded, bringing back her earlier comment.

She scoffed and gave him a look before turning on her heel and walking away. Daryl dropped his eyes to the counter and wanted to punch it, but he sighed instead. From the shadows of the kitchen, Charlotte approached her mother, knotting her fingers together nervously, but she'd sat in the shadows long enough to watch her mother and father argue back and forth. Mom stopped at the sight of her, and Dad came around the counter to see if she'd considered his position, but instead he saw Charlotte.

"Hey, Charli, what's going on?" Daryl tried to smile to make it seem like they were all right, but it didn't meet his eyes.

"I know you've been fighting." Charlotte dropped her hands to her sides and looked from her father to her mother and back. "And I know it's about me and the Shah."

"We're trying to resolve this without involving you," Carol informed her. "We have Fire Found's lead, and we'll use it end the Shah. Don't you worry about it, okay? Go get ready for lunch. I'll make your favorite—"

"No, I  _am_  going to worry about it," she snapped, gripping the hem of her shirt in two tight fists, her heart pounding against its fleshy cage. "I'm having nightmares over it. I'm losing sleep over it, so don't tell me to not worry, because that's crap, Mom. And it only makes me worry more!"

"Charlotte, I'm sorry this happened to you, but there's nothing more we can do right now. We need numbers to attack, and we don't have those numbers just yet, but soon we will. We'll use the lead and go after them." Carol tried to touch her, to console her, but Charli flinched back. "Baby—"

"Don't tell me of a bullshit plan that won't work. You can't capture and kill the Shah by your own willing of it. Don't you get that?"

"Charli, we will get 'em," Daryl vowed, moving closer. "We got a good lead on one of their camps. We'll head out as soon as Seaside, Kingdom, Hilltop, Tree Haven and Fire Found prove enough men, so we can match 'em solider for solider."

"How do you know the lead is good?"

"Because they have pictures of the Shah and evidence of them being in the area," Carol explained. "It's a solid lead, the most solid once we've had in three, nearly four years."

She nodded. "Then I have a plan to draw the Shah out."

"You do?" Carol crossed her arms over her chest and opened her ears to hear her daughter. "Okay, let's hear it."

"Use the lead…find their camp…and send me to it." She met her mother's eyes, and Carol could see she was entirely serious. "Use me as bait to draw out the Shah."


	40. Bound To The Arrow

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.** _

* * *

"What?" Carol paled at the thought of willingly sending her daughter out there with those savages. "No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" she demanded. "They want me, and they'll probably get to me somehow. They've already infiltrated my brain, my life and eventually they'll get to me again—physically. So use this lead, throw me to the wolves and let me play a part in ending them."

Daryl tried to look at Carol, but she dead focused on their daughter. Daryl didn't want to argue with Charlotte about this, but it did make sense. To use her as bait to lure in the Shah. They wanted her with a frothing desire of a thousand hungry wolves. If they were to use their lead to hand over Charli and follow them back to their main headquarters, it would more than a shot in the dark with the lead alone. If this lead was legit, they could use it to use Charli to follow the Shah and kill them all at once. It would be over before they could blink. It was brilliant, but the stakes were too high. She was too young. They couldn't do that to her.

Carol shook her head again. "Absolutely not. I would never allow anyone—let alone myself—to put you in the path of untold danger. No. Get that out of your head."

"I can't." She stepped forward, a hint of the fearless woman she would became playing on her young face, and she shook her head back at her mother. "I can't even get them out of my nightmares! So don't tell me no, or I can't or any of that usual garbage. Just listen to me."

"Charli—"

"No, you don't get to interrupt me. I've spent almost my entire life afraid of the darkness, because I knew they were in it. I am going to control the next interaction I have with the Shah. I am going to control how I walk into it, how I handle it, how I leave it—all of it. You are not the one they want. This has never been about you, Mom. It's been about me. Me, me, annoyingly me since the day I was born! You know that to be true!" She stomped her foot down hard, the pain rattled up her calf, but she didn't let it show. "I am going to handle how I move forward with them, so I can stop them. If you go in there, guns blazing and manage to miss just one of them, I will never be free of them. I refuse to live the next year afraid of the shadows and what's inside of them. I fucking refuse that, Mom, Dad. I know you love me, and I love you both the same, but if you want this threat gone, you're going to have to trust me. You're going to have to send me out there—alone, without weapons—to them. You know it's the only way."

Carol was speechless, looking down at her little girl, seeing the person she had become, and Carol saw so much of Daryl in her. That determination, that strength, that deep level of independence. She was awestruck—and heartbroken. Her little girl should have thoughts of what the next playdate with Hershel would be like, when was Judy going to come over and plant flowers for fall with her and so on, but instead, she had these thoughts in her mind. Infiltration plans, keep the knife Nina gave her close, hiding nightmares from her parents and pretending the world was an okay place outside walkers. Carol had done this. She had made her daughter hide the damages, because Carol said she would handle it, and Charlotte wanted to believe her, so she let that belief show, hiding all that needed comforted in the dead of night.

"Now what's the lead?" Charli demanded. "Where am I going to meet them?"

"You're not going to meet anybody." Carol found her voice. "You're not going to be exposed to—"

"To what, Mom?" She flipped her parting back to reveal the crown scar. "To those savages? To injuries? To emotional scars? Because I've already got that. I've been exposed. They want me, but they won't hurt me until next week—when I'm eight. So we need to act fast." She walked by her mother and father and over to the counter, climbing onto a stool and pulling a map out of her vest pocket. "Point out where they're camping, and you can drive me there, but I go in alone. I'll leave a trail for you to follow."

"Are you deaf?" Carol spun around. "You are not going."

Daryl approached the map and his daughter. "What will you do once we arrive?"

"Are you kidding me?" Carol hissed. "Daryl."

"I'll hide with any other kids I find." She met his eyes and smiled at him. "I'm good at hiding."

"You are." He smiled back at her. "What's your trail like?"

"Remember the p—"

"No, no, no." Carol erupted, marching over and taking the map. "You aren't going this. You're too young. You're just a little girl. Leave this to the adults."

Charlotte looked her mother dead in the eye and set her jaw. "I'll run away if you don't let me do this. I've done it before, and they've found me. I'll let them take me, and I'll let Theo in on my plan instead of you."

Carol couldn't believe her ears. "You'd really do that to me? To your dad? To your brother and sister?"

"Yes, I really would." She didn't break eye contact. "I'm sick of being the victim. I want to be…an ender. I want to put an end to the Shah and their crap. I want to see them pay for all they've done since the start of their cult. You want that too. I know you do, so just...stop. I'm not asking."

"You are so grounded for the rest of your life," Carol shot back. "No Hershel, no Judith, no Mika for a week. I want you to go to your bedroom right now. Do you hear me?"

"You can ground me to the end of my life, but I'm doing this. With or without you." She hopped off the stool and stomped upstairs, going to her and Mika's bedroom, slamming the door. She could hear the arguments picking up downstairs and pressed her hands against her ears to block it out.

* * *

Maggie was on the ham radio talking to Enid, telling her about her plans for the Shah and what lead they had received from Carol and the others. Enid wasn't so sure of this plan. She didn't like sending people to a supposed campsite of the Shah. She was going to lead them, not sit by back a fire and knit, and Maggie said she fully intended on traveling there herself. She wanted an active hand in destroying those assholes. She wanted to see them go up in flame before her very eyes.

 _"I just have to know the children of my town will be safe,"_  Enid concurred. _"They're our future, and we have to safeguard them."_

"Exactly." Maggie gazed out the window to see Josslyn and Hershel playing outside with Glenn. "I'm glad you answered. I needed someone to vent to."

 _"Yeah."_  She laughed lightly.  _"Same here."_

"I want to build a better future for my children and my sister and my niece and nephews." She inhaled. "And that future will begin with the complete annihilation of the Shah."

 _"I couldn't have said it better myself."_  Enid ran a hand through her hair.  _"I cannot wait for the day when the word Shah isn't mentioned by anybody."_

"We remember our enemies to strengthen our future," Maggie reminded her. "But I know exactly what you mean. I am sick of the word and its meaning."

_"In a couple days—God willing—they will be of the past."_

"God willing," Maggie agreed. "I have to go. My heart is longing to dirt-tackle my kids, but I will see you soon, right?"

 _"Right. I'll make a trip up once the Shah are dealt with."_  She smiled.  _"I cannot wait to see those little ones and hug them."_

"Oh, they're not so little anymore. I have a near four and eight-year-old on my hands." She laughed this time. "I cannot believe how big Hersh has gotten."

 _"Me neither."_  She exhaled slowly.  _"Those little trolls are going to have the best damn life we can build for them. You know that, right?"_

"I do." She nodded, twisting her wedding ring. "And I'm grateful."

 _"I love you, Maggie."_  Enid saw Carl motioning for her to come, and it was likely about the meeting regarding the Shah lead.  _"I'll talk to you soon."_

"Talk soon." She departed from her office and headed down the stairs to charge into the scene and tackle her son to the ground—as gently as physically possible—and pretend to be walker biting at his neck. He instantly knocked her in the jaw and rolled away, and Maggie was beyond impressed with the training going on around here. Though that knock might bruise, and it wouldn't be the first time Hersh had bruised her. Nor the last she daresay.

* * *

Rick put RJ down for a nap, knowing Judith was probably out playing with her friend Gracie, and he kissed his son's brow, admiring his beautiful little face briefly before padding down the stairs and finding his wife in the living room, resting on the couch. He knew she was going over the information Carol had given them in the meeting, and he knew she would be there on the front line. He would stand by her through it and join the ranks, as always.

"Hey." Michonne smiled at him, accepting his hand and interlocking their fingers. "How did it go?"

"Oh, he went down easy. Charlotte and Hersh must have worn him out at recess." He chuckled. "He's gonna have a good life once the Shah are gone. No more boogie man."

"Just walkers and the next group of people who threaten us." She exhaled and looked over at him. "We'll get through this."

"We always do."

"And the day we don't?"

"We'll ensure that day is so far off into the future that it doesn't exist." He smiled at her, and she snickered. "We'll keep fighting until the day that we no longer have to."

She nodded. "For our children's sake, I hope that day is soon."

"Me too."

They continued to discuss the lead Carol and Nellie and the others had found, bringing Tree Haven and Fire Found into the mix. She was curious about going to those locations and meeting the people there. She wanted to get a sense of their morality. She wanted to know them as she had come to know the people of Hilltop and Kingdom and Seaside. She wanted to know who they were when the going got tough, as it would when they went after the Shah. She hoped they were up for the challenge and didn't expect the rest of them to pull all the weight of this mission.

"We'll manage with the number of people we have," Rick assured her. "Then we'll go and see who Tree Haven and Fire Found are."

"I don't want to end up with flaky business partners, is all." Michonne lifted his hand into her lap and held it with both hands.

"If we do, we'll give them reason to rely on us and stand by us. We'll strengthen relations with all of our communities, and we'll thrive against the world and its walkers."

"I like the sound of that, Mr. Grimes."

"I only thought of it as possibly because of you, Mrs. Grimes. You are, after all, my sanity in this world." He smiled at her then leaned over and kissed her. "I love you, and we'll be just fine. They didn't get Judith, and they won't get Charlotte."

She nodded. "I love you, but we can't be sure of anything with these people. We had two of them right under our nose. Who knows how many more there are inside these walls?"

"I'm sure that two were enough, but honestly, you're right; we can't be sure of anything, of any of the people here. We trust our gut and let what happen may. We'll be there to pick up the pieces."

"Let's hope there's at least pieces to pick up."

* * *

Charlotte lied down with her hands across her chest, staring at the ceiling and hearing the door open. She didn't have to look up to know who it was. She felt Mika lie down beside her on the bed, and she moved into the same position as Charlotte.

"So…Mom and Dad are fighting." She looked over at her little sister. "Like super bad fighting."

"Yeah," Charlotte rolled her head over to the left to view Mika, "it's my fault."

"How?"

"Because I want to be used a bait to lure out the Shah's true camp."

"Whoa. What?" She rolled over and propped her head up on her palm. "Why would you want that?"

"Because it's the only way to find the whole of the Shah, not just a splinter of it." She shook her head. "I want them out of my life, out of my dreams and out of the shadows. I want to live my life and not worry about them. I'm seven, for Christ's sake. I should be worried about school grades and bruised knees, not—not being taken in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, that makes sense." She inhaled. "Makes Dad's side make more sense. He's with you."

"He is?" She smiled widely. "Way to go, Dad."

"I want to agree with you, but I can't. I don't want you in danger—ever. I don't want you in their grasp. I don't know— _we_  don't know what they'll do to you before they kill or sacrifice you to a big melon or whatever." Charli giggled, and Mika was glad to make her laugh over such serious matters. It might take the stress out of the situation. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Charli. I love you so much, and it's my job to protect you. It's in the big sister handbook. Rule number one."

"I know you all want to protect me, but unless this threat is taken out…I'm never gonna be properly protected. And I've learned how to take care of myself. I've worked diligently with Theo and Daddy and Mommy, and it's not fair that when I finally learn, they won't trust me to use my skills." She shook her head and groaned. "I'm not useless. I'm not some…potato."

"A sweet potato," Mika mused, running her fingers over her little sister's plump belly.

"Don't make me hungry when I'm angry." She was trying not to smile, like, super hard trying not to smile.

"I know it seems shitty right now, but once it clears out, Mom and Dad will have plan to take them all out. I promise."

"Their plan is someone else's lead. I don't want to…follow some stranger blindly." She exhaled deeply, kicking her legs up into the air to hover. "I just want life to be normal around here."

"Well, I have some normalcy for you." She breathed in to fill the depths of her lungs and shot it out through an O in her lips. "I'm breaking up with Henry."

"What? Why?" She dropped her legs onto the bed hard enough to make them both bounce, and Mika forced a tight-lipped smile. "What happened with Henry? He's so nice."

"He is so nice—and respectful and thoughtful. He's the perfect boyfriend, but he isn't the person I want to be with romantically anymore. I respect him enough to not drag him along for the sake of his love for me. I want something real for both of us, no matter how much it'll hurt." She shook her head once. "I wish we could have worked out and been together as a couple till we were old and blue-haired, but that isn't the way my heart works. I think I need to be alone for right now. That pregnancy scare really freaked me out, especially since Mom had Owen. I am not ready for that."

"What's a pregnancy scare?" She tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Is it like it sounds? You were scared of a baby?"

"No, it means…I thought I was pregnant, like how Mom was pregnant with Owen, but I wasn't. It's a scare, because it came close but wasn't quite there. You understand?"

"Sorta." She mauled it over for a moment then said, "Sorta how I had a Shah scare when I was littler. When they carved this crown into my forehead. It could've been a lot worse, but it wasn't 'cause I got away."

"Exactly."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

She snuggled up close to her sister and wrapped her arms around her torso, resting her head against her shoulder. "Don't leave me alone, okay?"

"I promise." She kissed the top of her hair. "I'll be with you through everything, Charlotte. I swear."

Downstairs Carol and Daryl were giving each other the silent treatment and glowered at each other. They didn't want to admit they had worn their voices out yelling at each other, trying to get their respective points across, and they were now recovering from the yelling.

To be frank, it hurt to yell. It wasn't a physical pain so much as an emotional one. They had worked through so much with Denise in therapy, and they had been closer than ever. They were a team. They were two warriors in love and raising badass kids. They were partners and equals, and it was perfect. Right up until Carol up and left for Fire Found. That's when everything just went downhill. What the hell happened on that boat, he wondered, and when would Carol return from it?

"I can't do this anymore." She shook her head, hands on her hips, and she ran her tongue over the front of her teeth. "I just can't do this anymore, Daryl."

"I don't think it's up to us," Daryl remarked. "We must be pretty self-involved for us to think so."

"So, who is it up to? Rick? God? The Shah?" She pointed a finger to the steps beside her. "Our sweet little girl? Because let me tell you this—it's bullshit!"

"We ain't goin' down this road again. We already had the bullshit argument about twenty minutes ago, and I can't do it again." He met her eyes. "Just…take out bein' her mom and consider it."

"All right, let's ship Judith off to the woods and see how she fares against those animals."

He lowered his head down onto the counter and growled. "Would you just think about it?!" He slammed his hands against the counter and righted his posture. "Come on, Carol!"

"I don't have to think about it, Daryl. I already had one little girl get lost in the woods! We all know how that ended!"

That hit in like a ton of bricks. For a brief moment of insanity, he'd forgotten about Sophia. The sweet ginger-haired child who was lost on their watch and returned to them in the worst possible way. His brain tried to force the image of Charli coming back as a walker, but his brain knew better. She was stronger than Sophia ever was. She had skills Sophia couldn't dream of having. She was a survivor, born into a dark world to make it brighter. There was no comparing Sophia and Charlotte, and it was time she realized that.

"Carol, our daughter is nothin' like Sophia. They may have the same face and heart, but you know as well as I do that she and Sophia are night and day." He searched her eyes. "And I love her with every ounce of my bein'—you know that—but we cannot control her. If she wants this plan to happen, she's gonna make it happen. That's how you women in this family work. You know what you want, and you go out and get it done. You have to know that she takes after you more than she takes after me."

Carol lifted her arms up to her hairline then dropped them back down to her side. "You have no idea what you're asking me to do."

"I do, because I'm right there with you. This feels like a fuckin' rock in my lungs, on my chest, crushin' me into the motherfuckin' ground, but I know… I  _know_ this is the right path here. It'll be risky, but it's always been risky." He surveyed her face and moved around the counter to pull her into his arms—and she let him—and he kissed her shoulder. "I know you want to protect her from the whole damn world—so do I—but there are things…people…we have to expose her to so she knows how to better protect herself and the people she loves. This ain't about us, she got that much right. We gotta let her go…or we'll lose her."

She lightly smacked her balled fists into his chest then wrapped her arms around his neck. "I can't let her go, Daryl." Her voice was trembling, like a plucked guitar string, and tears pooled in the back of her eyes. "I can't. She's our baby."

"Carol, I understand."

"No, you don't." She stepped out of his arms and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. "She was my everything for four years, Daryl. She was the only connection I had to you. She was the light and love of my life when I lost everyone else. I am so in love with her it sickens me. I can't live without her. She is…the perfect blend of us, and I cannot go on if something else happens to her."

"Carol…"

"I want the best for her, not this. Never this." She whimpered. "She's a half of me, Daryl. I can't lose that."

"You won't." He gripped her shoulders and locked his eyes in hers. "We will be in the shadows this time, and we will follow them back to their main camp. We will be victorious, okay? Trust me. With our little girl to guide us…what can go wrong?"

"Everything can go wrong, Daryl. The entire world has been pitted against us since the start, and I don't just mean the end of the world start." She shook her head. "I can't agree to this."

"Well, I don't think it's agree or disagree," he stated. "I think it's do or regret." He placed a kiss to her brow and stepped back. "I'll check on the girls. Why don't you…get some rest? Or some air."

"All I want is for this to be over."

They parted ways by the steps, Carol headed outside to get some fresh fall air, and Daryl padded up the stairs to check on the kids. Owen was fast asleep with his stuffed giraffe, and the girls were whispering and giggling in their shared room. He leaned in the doorway and smiled in on them, and Charli sat up, all serious.

"You need to let me go."

"I know."

She smiled widely at him. "And Mom knows?"

"She knows but won't accept it."

Her smile lost a couple watts but still remained there. "I know it may seem chancy, but it was on a chance that anything around here happened. Let me try, Daddy."

"It ain't up to me. You got my vote. It's your mom who's strugglin'."

"How do we convince her?" Mika crossed her legs on the bed. "I'm not exactly  _for_  this, but I understand why it's imperative."

"There's no way to convince a mom or dad to send their child off into danger," Daryl answered. "They either accepted it…"

Mika and Charlotte accepted a glance, and Mika pressed. "Or?"

"Or I don't know." He sighed. "I've accepted it, because I know how good at trackin' we are, how good at leavin' a trail you are, and I know we can do this."

"We so can." Charlotte grasped the bed frame and leaned over it. "I know I'm young, but I don't get to be young. I don't get to be a child. I'm a victim, and as long as they're alive, I'll always be a victim. I don't want to hurt anybody, but these are bad people, and they hurt kids. They deserve to be…extinct."

Daryl smiled faintly. "I know, baby girl." He caught her chin in his hand and pinched it gently. "I know."

"I'll be eight soon. I need to infiltrate their ranks as a seven-year-old. It'll give you guys more time." She gripped his wrist with both hands. "It's a good plan, Daddy. Mommy has to realize that."

"She'll come 'round."

"I hope its in time. I want to celebrate my eighth birthday with family and friends, not those nutjobs."

He smiled. "All right. I'll talk to her again."

"There's no need." Carol entered the room and leaned in the doorway, arms across her chest, and she sighed. "You really think you can do this, baby?"

She slid off the bed and walked over to her mom. "It's not about  _thinking_ , Mommy. It's about  _knowing_ , and I know you guys can track me anywhere. You'll  _always_  find me."

"You're damn right." Carol pulled her into her arms and kissed the top of her head, closing her eyes. "You better make damn sure it's a good trail, okay?"

"I will." She hugged her tightly. "I promise."

Mika tried to smile at the sight of them, but her heart was broken by the decision they had to make. And while she was ready for the Shah to be in the past, she wasn't ready for the steps they had to take to make them of the past. She wasn't going to stand by and let this happen without her, so she would use every talent to follow any trail Charlotte left behind.

Daryl stroked the back of her head and met Carol's hand, lifting her fingers to be holding onto a few, and Carol opened her eyes, bending down to be at height level with Charli, and she gazed up at her husband. They didn't need words to express the consternation they each felt. It was a silent anxiety that spread throughout the entire room and into Charlotte's core. They were all aware of how negatively this could go, but no one said a word just yet, because the war had officially begun.


End file.
